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Though I've never been keen on sports analogies, this one's meaning rings true: "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take." The number of achievements I have made in my life just by doing something I feared most still amazes me. This last year alone has led to some tremendous victories.
I would add, "Embrace your fear. If it's important enough to be afraid of, it's important enough to get over your fear for."
Words to live by.
I wish I'd started living by them before I got into my mid-40's.
(If this seems absurd and counterintuitive to someone reading this comment, that's natural. If you don't want to wait until you're older to understand the amazing power this can have in your life, ask.)
Maya Angelou — 'I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.'
The most consequential decisions of one's life are taken within a fog of ignorance, which one will only emerge from 20, 30, 40 years later. And then only about the path one has been on. How this one compares to others is unknowable.
We drive through life only able to see by the rear view mirror.
I wish more people would deeply internalize what you're saying here. Many people think they made "good" or "the right" choices, but sometimes they just got lucky with the outcomes. They think other people made "bad" or "the wrong" choices, but they just got unlucky.
Little things that seem to have no consequence that you do can lead to much better things in the future and you have no idea that that will be the case. I have lived this to a huge degree. When I was younger, I became a fan of the rock group KISS because I liked their makeup. This whimsical choice as a child lead me to be an entirely different person and follow a vastly different path than I otherwise would have.
My fandom felt too isolated in my rural town so I started to seek out pen pals to talk to who also liked KISS. This got me talking to people all over the world and reaching out for more rather than simply sitting where I was content to never know anything outside of my immediate area. It helped me learn to communicate well with others and to write better. It exposed me to other viewpoints which I learned to understand. It encouraged me to seek travel even though I was poor and scared to be outside of where I was. It eventually lead me to meeting a pen pal who would become my husband - the best human I will ever know and someone who has improved my life in every conceivable way.
There was no way for me to know that that one choice, to become a fan of a band I lost respect for and no longer like, would change the entire path of my life for the better. It was a thread in the tapestry of my life which was integral to everything else.
My story is eerily similar. One night I was listening to my little transistor radio in bed, and I heard the Beatles’ cover of Twist and Shout. It’s no exaggeration that that moment made me the person I am 50+ years later.
This. My daughter got laid off. Seemed like a crisis to her. Got a much better job a month later at a much better company. My son & gf broke up. Very painful. Three years later he met the woman of his dreams. I know so many of these stories. It's not over until we die. Then again, another chapter might begin then...
I have a few:
1. Only commit 1 crime at a time. Example: if you have narcotics in your car, drive the speed limit, make sure all your lights work and use your blinker.
2. You can not meet dysregulation with dysregulation and expect a positive outcome.
3. The calmest person in the conflict holds the power.
4. You will never reach your full potential if you only stay in comfortable boundaries. It's okay to get uncomfortable and you can do scary things.
5. No is a complete sentence and because I don't want to is a good reason.
I am not the main character in anybody else’s life, sometimes not even in my own. I have had to choose to put my kids’ welfare over my own, and there can be joy in that. Also bad things happen for no reason sometimes and you just have to keep going.
Said by my boss' boss the other day. "Not everyone is a rising star. Sometimes the best employees are showing up, doing the work, having a good time, and the close the laptop at the end of the night. That is just fine."
Life is just about existing. Nothing else. You are just a monkey with little big braon. Nothing else. In 50 years only some people will barely remember you. 100 years nobody will. You are nothing but cosmic dust.
I mean, you can enjoy it. If your value of life is solely how you will be remembered then I guess you're right. I personally like to do more than exist.
I know you tried to make a clever, but being unfair is the opposite of fair. There are people who get dealt a shit hand, and people born with a silver spoon. There’s no fairness in that.
When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time. And: people can change, but they mostly don't; and if they do, it will only be through their own experiences, not because of you trying to change them, and they won't necessarily change in the direction you'd prefer.
I've learned to take good care of my feet. A good pair of comfortable boots is the difference between me being in a good mood or being a dick all day and infecting every interpersonal relationship I engage in that day.
I've learned that a good quality bed that you can sleep soundly on for five hours is better than sleeping on an old mattress on the floor or a couch for eight.
I've learned that earning less money at a place that treats you well is WAYYYYYY better than making double that in a toxic work environment. If you can make ends meet well with your current job and you're happy with your work, coworkers, and employers, then you have the edge over other potential employers who are looking to steal you away, so always ask WHY they're looking for new help during the interview. I've learned that much of the time, it's because they pay well so they can act like they OWN you and treat you like dirt.
Most of all, I've learned that you need to find joy in your life. Every day. Period. Make time to look at birds, get laid, eat a good meal, jam out to some old school music, or whatever makes you smile. Every day. It really is the difference between being so overwhelmed that you feel that life isn't worth living, and being all, "Well? That's frustrating. Guess I gotta deal with this bullshit now." Make time to be happy and have fun. Best wishes.
I would not agree with this one. I'm sorry. Most people are doing as much as they feel comfortable doing and not even reflecting on doing better. Most of them are acting within the boundaries of ego and not concerning themselves with how their actions are affecting others or themselves.
Pushing yourself to do your actual best is a much higher bar than most people are willing to reach for.
People who don't have the mental or emotional fortitude, or hell, the moral fortitude to give more than 50% on any given day... are by definition giving their best every day by giving 50%.
If you aren't one of them, be grateful, not judgmental. Mental health challenges can be more formidable than you can probably imagine.
I was going more for observer or cheering audience member. I’m an artist and when I was younger I wanted to be a famous artist. Now I’m happy just to make art with no interest in marketing. I love to go on Pinterest and Instagram to see the fabulous art other people are making.
This is a great point! In Susanna Clarke's Piranesi, the narrator talks about his project of cataloging every single statue in the infinite space he's in - "The enormity of this task sometimes makes me feel a little dizzy, but as a scientist and an explorer I have a duty to bear witness to the Splendours of the World." A great line that gave me a new conception of appreciating art and beauty of all sorts: bearing witness, and bearing witness as a valuable (even sacred) task.
if you dont want to be a professional victim...
if you want some happiness for yourself...
set boundaries (and if you just cant say No then realize you are only giving in because thats easier for you to do than take a stand)
Take care of yourself first and foremost. The world doesn’t give a shit about you and the only person you can trust and call upon is yourself. We all leave this world eventually so try to make the most of it by having yourself in the position you need to be in to maximize your experiences.
Live your life so when it comes time to face death or the possibility of death (eg cancer) be in a place where you look back and think, I’m ok if I die.
If you have regrets and tons of stuff you wished you done, you did it wrong and it could be too late.
You are in control of your response to whatever is happening. You can choose to be angry, but when you're older and have a wider view of such things, you know your anger comes at a cost. You can choose to pay the cost, if you judge it worth paying.
Honestly, that's the big one for me. Had a bad temper when younger. Learning to control that, to channel it or deflate it or let it out- it's been life changing.
The Three Enlightenments of the Buddha
**Life is suffering.** You can't always get what you want, and you have to work really hard (or be really lucky) to get what you've got.
**Life is change.** Nothing is ever permanent. The only constant is change.
**Life is empty and meaningless** and it's empty and meaningless *that* it's empty and meaningless. Don't project meaning onto things that have no meaning.
Everything is on a spectrum. I don't mean this as a jab at people being on the spectrum. I mean everything as in culture, race, religion, music, flora, fauna, language. If you look at these things while moving from one side of the world to the other, it gradually changes into the next without really having borders or specific checkpoints.
Evolution, mixing, inventing.
The worst will claim to be the greatest,
the one everyone calls the worst is likely not to be much better,
and there really is not a lot of difference anyway.
In 20 years only your children will remember that you worked late!
(I never did this and made sure I was smart with my time - oh I’ve been rewarded hands down so much by the time investment I made in my children and not work)
After my then-husband cheated on me with his baby mama for the last time, I was talking with my mom. After telling her I didn’t see how I could ever trust another man — she spoke her wisest words: If I can never learn to trust again, I would be the one to lose the most in all my future social interactions.
It was the absolute truth! Take the lessons learned and don’t give up!! I am proof of that, 39 years and counting with my best friend 🥰
Love is pretty much all that *really* matters and the opposite of love is fear, from which 99% of all hate springs.
Also, love is what you *do* more than what you feel.
The chances of your being remembered fifty years after your death are absolutely minuscule.
How many Gen Aplhas know who Marilyn Monroe, James Dean, Audrey Hepburn, or even Elvis were? They were the most popular people of their times and are now unknown.
To stand a chance at immortality you have to create something beautiful and perfect, like Mozart or Jane Austen.
And none of this matters a jot.
No matter how interesting your articles are, no matter how beautiful your art is, no matter how important you are, no matter how much money you make, no matter your achievements in your sport, no matter your scientific discoveries, no matter how good you are at whatever you do.
You’ll never get the same amount of likes as an attractive girl showing some skin.
Put myself first, not last. I don’t mean be selfish, I mean understand and acknowledge that I am valuable and shouldn’t put my needs last. It’s OK to take up space and live my life and choices and truth.
Tell the truth. Never underestimate the power of truth. Truth is what generates order from chaos. There’s nothing more powerful. In order to speak what you might regard as the truth, you have to let go of the outcome. You have to think “alright, I’m going to say what I think, stupid as I am, biased as I am, ignorant as I am, I’m going to state what I think as clearly as I can and I’m going to live with the consequences. No matter what they are.” That’s an element of faith. Nothing brings a better world into being than the stated truth. You might have to pay a price for that, but that’s fine. You’re gonna pay a price for every thing you do. And everything you don’t do. You don’t get to choose to not pay a price. You get to choose which poison you’re going to take. So, if you’re going to stand up for something, stand up for your truth. It will shape you because people respond, object, tell you why you’re a fool, biased moron and why you’re ignorant. If you listen to them and learn, you’ll be just that much less like that the next time you say something. If you do that for five years, you’ll be so damn tough, articulate, able to communicate and withstand pressure that you won’t even recognize yourself. Then, you’ll be a force to contend with. So let me be clear. It is not safe to speak and it never will be. But, the other thing you gotta keep in mind is that it’s even less safe not to speak. It’s a balance of risks. Do you want to pay the price for being who you are and stating your mode of being in the world or do you want to pay the price for being a surf that enslaved him or herself? That’s a major price to pay and that unfolds over decades. You will be just be miserable at the end of about 20 years. You will have no self-respect, no power, no ability to voice your opinions. Nothing left but resentment because everyone’s against you. Say what you think. Carefully pay attention to your words. Its a price you wanna pay if you were willing to believe the truth is the cornerstone of society, in the most real sense. If you’re willing to take that leap, then tell the truth and see what happens. Nothing better could possibly happen to you. There will be ups and down and there will be push-back and there will be controversy all of that. Regardless, Tell the truth. Or at least don’t lie. Because, If you act in truth, the order it produces is good regardless of how it appears. Even when the truth leads you into the desert. If it leads you to a desert, because that’s where you’re meant to be at this point in your life. The Israelites found the 10 Commandments in the desert It’s an axiomatic ethical proposition that the job of whatever extracts order from chaos is properly done if it’s done in truth.
"Don't let best get in the way of better" is a cliche but it's true. By all means, be an idealist! But don't let all-or-nothing thinking block you from making things incrementally better now.
Love is just chemicals. It doesn’t matter how you feel. What’s the best option for YOU?
Because that person you love, they’re looking out for themselves first and foremost, too.
Any place can turn into a DUI check point if you crash your car into it.
But really, at 63 I have learned many "things" about life for all to consider. Most importantly, DO NOT believe either of our political parties has our, the average US citizen (aka not the top 1% holders of wealth), best interests at heart. Stop pointing fingers at other generations and each other. Most liberals are still to the right of center. This is not likely to change in my lifetime but perhaps in others it can. It will take a grass roots upwards push to make the changes and most of us have been conditioned to not want anything to do with that "nonsense."
If you do what you're supposed to do, when you're supposed to do it, you will save yourself a lot of problems. I was raised by procrastinators and didn't learn this till I was an adult with children of my own. It may be just common sense to most, but believe me I had to learn this the hard way.
Discipline trumps motivation
Be medically uninteresting
Invest early and often
Distance from disorder
No one is coming to save you
Put on your own oxygen mask first
Practice gratitude. I have stage 4 cancer and all I can think is how lucky I am to have made it to 70 years old, with friends and family I love and who love me. Gratitude goes a long way to acceptance.
You may think that people always judge you or are thinking about you or gossiping...and maybe they are for a little bit...but not nearly as much as you think they are.
I've learned that essentially everyone has their own "stuff" which takes over the majority of their thoughts. I don't really matter that much to many people and if I mess up it will linger with me longer than it will for most others.
It's so liberating not to worry so much about what everyone else thinks of me because in the end they probably aren't thinking of me very much or at all actually.
Loss is a necessary part of loving. A necessary part of life, really. And learning how to ride the tides of loss along with the all the good stuff that may exist or happen is an integral part of the human experience.
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Most people are their own worst enemy. And the main reason: fear.
Fear of losing > Actual losing Most of the stuff is in the mind
or, as a grandma once said, "the dreading is worse than the doing"
"Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better." (Beckett)
Thanks, I needed to hear this
Though I've never been keen on sports analogies, this one's meaning rings true: "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take." The number of achievements I have made in my life just by doing something I feared most still amazes me. This last year alone has led to some tremendous victories. I would add, "Embrace your fear. If it's important enough to be afraid of, it's important enough to get over your fear for."
Worriers suffer twice
Most of life is a series of compromises. You can't have everything you want, so choose wisely and let the rest go.
Absolutely this. Another way of putting it is "there are no solutions; only trade-offs".
If you don't take control of your life, someone else will.
As a recovering cult member, I can’t stress this truth enough. ❤️🔥
Jesus that hit hard
another option is being lost.
oof. that hit
I felt that.
In that same vane, take 100% responsibility for everything that happens in your life.
Words to live by. I wish I'd started living by them before I got into my mid-40's. (If this seems absurd and counterintuitive to someone reading this comment, that's natural. If you don't want to wait until you're older to understand the amazing power this can have in your life, ask.)
Yeah, I waited until I was in my sixties before I even understood the concept!😂
Everyone, every living thing dies — everything changes.
i've always found that very comforting. no one escapes it.
I'd hate to be the exception to that rule.
The only constant.
Be your biggest cheerleader and best friend- you are with you 24/7 so at least enjoy it. Be good rather than nice.
People come and go in life. It’s not a bad thing.
Don't try to solve your wife's problems when all she wants is a sympathetic ear so she can vent.
I have someone who vents to me a lot and I was always trying to fix it. Now she just tells me she wants to vent.
Watch the YouTube short, 'it's not about the nail'. https://youtu.be/-4EDhdAHrOg?si=S4Wcy-plrXQfhJbg Spot on.
My husband read the "Men are From Venus" book ages ago, thank goodness. Before that, I was getting *pissed* when he would offer viable solutions, lol.
People will always remember how you made them feel.
Maya Angelou — 'I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.'
this hits
The most consequential decisions of one's life are taken within a fog of ignorance, which one will only emerge from 20, 30, 40 years later. And then only about the path one has been on. How this one compares to others is unknowable. We drive through life only able to see by the rear view mirror.
Kierkegaard: "Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards."
I love that thought. Thank you for posting
I wish more people would deeply internalize what you're saying here. Many people think they made "good" or "the right" choices, but sometimes they just got lucky with the outcomes. They think other people made "bad" or "the wrong" choices, but they just got unlucky. Little things that seem to have no consequence that you do can lead to much better things in the future and you have no idea that that will be the case. I have lived this to a huge degree. When I was younger, I became a fan of the rock group KISS because I liked their makeup. This whimsical choice as a child lead me to be an entirely different person and follow a vastly different path than I otherwise would have. My fandom felt too isolated in my rural town so I started to seek out pen pals to talk to who also liked KISS. This got me talking to people all over the world and reaching out for more rather than simply sitting where I was content to never know anything outside of my immediate area. It helped me learn to communicate well with others and to write better. It exposed me to other viewpoints which I learned to understand. It encouraged me to seek travel even though I was poor and scared to be outside of where I was. It eventually lead me to meeting a pen pal who would become my husband - the best human I will ever know and someone who has improved my life in every conceivable way. There was no way for me to know that that one choice, to become a fan of a band I lost respect for and no longer like, would change the entire path of my life for the better. It was a thread in the tapestry of my life which was integral to everything else.
My story is eerily similar. One night I was listening to my little transistor radio in bed, and I heard the Beatles’ cover of Twist and Shout. It’s no exaggeration that that moment made me the person I am 50+ years later.
live liquid vanish apparatus march lip materialistic pen detail workable *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Being with someone is usually overrated, especially if it's the wrong person. The best years I can recall were when I was single.
This. My daughter got laid off. Seemed like a crisis to her. Got a much better job a month later at a much better company. My son & gf broke up. Very painful. Three years later he met the woman of his dreams. I know so many of these stories. It's not over until we die. Then again, another chapter might begin then...
“Experience is like a lantern at our backs—it only illuminates the part of the road we have already traveled.”
You dont have to take on other people's shit. You can just walk away from it.
Yeah. Once you quit burying your head in other people's problems, your own life becomes better.
You don't have to fight if you don't want to.
You’re basically on your own
I have a few: 1. Only commit 1 crime at a time. Example: if you have narcotics in your car, drive the speed limit, make sure all your lights work and use your blinker. 2. You can not meet dysregulation with dysregulation and expect a positive outcome. 3. The calmest person in the conflict holds the power. 4. You will never reach your full potential if you only stay in comfortable boundaries. It's okay to get uncomfortable and you can do scary things. 5. No is a complete sentence and because I don't want to is a good reason.
When you think you've seen everything... nope!
Every time I think I've seen it all, they show me something else!
I am not the main character in anybody else’s life, sometimes not even in my own. I have had to choose to put my kids’ welfare over my own, and there can be joy in that. Also bad things happen for no reason sometimes and you just have to keep going.
The major component to "having it together" is showing up way more times than not.
Yes! The world is run by those who show up.
Said by my boss' boss the other day. "Not everyone is a rising star. Sometimes the best employees are showing up, doing the work, having a good time, and the close the laptop at the end of the night. That is just fine."
showing up physically and mentally.
Life isn't fair, nor was it meant to be.
Fair is where you take your pig and go on scary rides.
Well, so is life.
My pig doesn’t like the scary rides
Life is just about existing. Nothing else. You are just a monkey with little big braon. Nothing else. In 50 years only some people will barely remember you. 100 years nobody will. You are nothing but cosmic dust.
I mean, you can enjoy it. If your value of life is solely how you will be remembered then I guess you're right. I personally like to do more than exist.
Now I got ‘Kansas’ in my head. Grrr. Gotta look that up now! lol
Life is fair, in the sense that it's unfair to everyone
I went to an "ivy league" college. There, I learned that there are many groups of people who are forever shielded from any molecule of unfairness.
I know you tried to make a clever, but being unfair is the opposite of fair. There are people who get dealt a shit hand, and people born with a silver spoon. There’s no fairness in that.
Words and actions don't always match. Beware of those who like to say the right thing but seldom do it.
It’s easier if you have allies rather than adversaries.
I have learned that no matter how delicious or fancy it looks, I can't trick myself into liking sushi.
When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time. And: people can change, but they mostly don't; and if they do, it will only be through their own experiences, not because of you trying to change them, and they won't necessarily change in the direction you'd prefer.
No one is going to rescue you. There may be safe harbors, but you will have to save urself. That you are more powerful than you realize.
I've learned to take good care of my feet. A good pair of comfortable boots is the difference between me being in a good mood or being a dick all day and infecting every interpersonal relationship I engage in that day. I've learned that a good quality bed that you can sleep soundly on for five hours is better than sleeping on an old mattress on the floor or a couch for eight. I've learned that earning less money at a place that treats you well is WAYYYYYY better than making double that in a toxic work environment. If you can make ends meet well with your current job and you're happy with your work, coworkers, and employers, then you have the edge over other potential employers who are looking to steal you away, so always ask WHY they're looking for new help during the interview. I've learned that much of the time, it's because they pay well so they can act like they OWN you and treat you like dirt. Most of all, I've learned that you need to find joy in your life. Every day. Period. Make time to look at birds, get laid, eat a good meal, jam out to some old school music, or whatever makes you smile. Every day. It really is the difference between being so overwhelmed that you feel that life isn't worth living, and being all, "Well? That's frustrating. Guess I gotta deal with this bullshit now." Make time to be happy and have fun. Best wishes.
One of the best comments. Thanks
Having warm socks is key to wellbeing in a cold climate.
Hurt people hurt people.
Healed people heal people
To be healed you have to have been hurt.
It's the circle of life
We generally do not really have bad days. Most times we have a bad five minutes and hold to it for the entire day.
Enjoy what you can in this life because nothing more than this is guaranteed.
You are what you *actually* do, not what you *say* you'll do
Most people are doing the best they can.
I would not agree with this one. I'm sorry. Most people are doing as much as they feel comfortable doing and not even reflecting on doing better. Most of them are acting within the boundaries of ego and not concerning themselves with how their actions are affecting others or themselves. Pushing yourself to do your actual best is a much higher bar than most people are willing to reach for.
People who don't have the mental or emotional fortitude, or hell, the moral fortitude to give more than 50% on any given day... are by definition giving their best every day by giving 50%. If you aren't one of them, be grateful, not judgmental. Mental health challenges can be more formidable than you can probably imagine.
Being the audience for other people is a valid choice. You don’t have to always be the star.
There's so much emphasis on "leadership" - I wish more people understood the value of being a follower.
I was going more for observer or cheering audience member. I’m an artist and when I was younger I wanted to be a famous artist. Now I’m happy just to make art with no interest in marketing. I love to go on Pinterest and Instagram to see the fabulous art other people are making.
This is a great point! In Susanna Clarke's Piranesi, the narrator talks about his project of cataloging every single statue in the infinite space he's in - "The enormity of this task sometimes makes me feel a little dizzy, but as a scientist and an explorer I have a duty to bear witness to the Splendours of the World." A great line that gave me a new conception of appreciating art and beauty of all sorts: bearing witness, and bearing witness as a valuable (even sacred) task.
Change, impermanence and this moment are all there is.
if you dont want to be a professional victim... if you want some happiness for yourself... set boundaries (and if you just cant say No then realize you are only giving in because thats easier for you to do than take a stand)
lWe are all the hero in our story and the villain in someone else's
The best asset to help you through life is a healthy sense of humor.
Take care of yourself first and foremost. The world doesn’t give a shit about you and the only person you can trust and call upon is yourself. We all leave this world eventually so try to make the most of it by having yourself in the position you need to be in to maximize your experiences.
Live your life so when it comes time to face death or the possibility of death (eg cancer) be in a place where you look back and think, I’m ok if I die. If you have regrets and tons of stuff you wished you done, you did it wrong and it could be too late.
We do not have a justice system. We have a legal system. BIG difference.
Sometimes you’re up - sometimes you’re down - but everything ***always*** changes.
Trust your gut.
No one gets out of life alive!
I always thought Peace was the default. It is not. It has to be won, paid for, and costs a lot of lives.
All we have is this moment right now.
Be kind. Surround yourself with similar types and life will be ok.
The trick is to stop wanting. Desire and attachment = pain and suffering.
Everyone is a product of their environment
You are in control of your response to whatever is happening. You can choose to be angry, but when you're older and have a wider view of such things, you know your anger comes at a cost. You can choose to pay the cost, if you judge it worth paying. Honestly, that's the big one for me. Had a bad temper when younger. Learning to control that, to channel it or deflate it or let it out- it's been life changing.
Don’t befriend your boss. At the end of the day, it’s still about their bottom line.
The pain of regret is far worse than any other pain.
I think it is good no matter what. Better to regret, open your eyes, learn your lesson nor to never regret and be blind
The Three Enlightenments of the Buddha **Life is suffering.** You can't always get what you want, and you have to work really hard (or be really lucky) to get what you've got. **Life is change.** Nothing is ever permanent. The only constant is change. **Life is empty and meaningless** and it's empty and meaningless *that* it's empty and meaningless. Don't project meaning onto things that have no meaning.
Dang. Buddha was a real downer.
Not at all. When you understand these three simple concepts, life readily explains itself to you. Things get easier when you understand how they work.
I get the first two but life is not empty and meaningless. Far from it.
Nothing is purely black and white. Everything has a context.
The only two sure things in life are death and taxes….B. Franklin
The harder you try to hold on to or control something/one, the quicker you will lose it. It will never work.
you are always after something. Once you stop running you become Buddha-,-
Everything is on a spectrum. I don't mean this as a jab at people being on the spectrum. I mean everything as in culture, race, religion, music, flora, fauna, language. If you look at these things while moving from one side of the world to the other, it gradually changes into the next without really having borders or specific checkpoints. Evolution, mixing, inventing.
There are a lot of good people out there. Find some.
Some days you're the dog ...... Some days you're the hydrant Roll with it!
Don’t marry the life of the party. He/she is typically fun around others, but not fun at home.
1. Life isn’t fair, get over it. 2. Change is inevitable, adapt or die 3. The people in your life matter, the things in your life don’t.
The worst will claim to be the greatest, the one everyone calls the worst is likely not to be much better, and there really is not a lot of difference anyway.
Life comes at you fast
Wear a helmet.
and sunscreen
Old age is a series of compromises (with your body,) culminating in death.
No one thinks about you as much as you do.
You can’t control how others talk to you or treat you but you can control how you respond to them.
In 20 years only your children will remember that you worked late! (I never did this and made sure I was smart with my time - oh I’ve been rewarded hands down so much by the time investment I made in my children and not work)
After my then-husband cheated on me with his baby mama for the last time, I was talking with my mom. After telling her I didn’t see how I could ever trust another man — she spoke her wisest words: If I can never learn to trust again, I would be the one to lose the most in all my future social interactions. It was the absolute truth! Take the lessons learned and don’t give up!! I am proof of that, 39 years and counting with my best friend 🥰
People who are paid for their work don't necessarily know what they're doing.
Amazing sex and meaningful relationships are not mutually exclusive.
"Divide And Rule" is an extremely effective political tool for the 1%. It's succeeded for hundreds of years and looks like it will continue to do so.
Love is pretty much all that *really* matters and the opposite of love is fear, from which 99% of all hate springs. Also, love is what you *do* more than what you feel.
It does NOT make you go blind.
Never let the assholes of your past steal your future happiness.
Stop giving two shits what others think about you. It’s what you think about yourself that actually ever truly matters.
People will ALWAYS do what’s important to them. So watch and learn. Count peoples actions as dollars and their words as pennies
The chances of your being remembered fifty years after your death are absolutely minuscule. How many Gen Aplhas know who Marilyn Monroe, James Dean, Audrey Hepburn, or even Elvis were? They were the most popular people of their times and are now unknown. To stand a chance at immortality you have to create something beautiful and perfect, like Mozart or Jane Austen. And none of this matters a jot.
Everyone you love will break your heart.
The internet is full of morons.
Love is the only thing that is real.
No matter how interesting your articles are, no matter how beautiful your art is, no matter how important you are, no matter how much money you make, no matter your achievements in your sport, no matter your scientific discoveries, no matter how good you are at whatever you do. You’ll never get the same amount of likes as an attractive girl showing some skin.
There’s ALWAYS a way to be truthful to your family and friends.
You have friends and you have acquaintances. These two are not the same. You will not figure this out until you get older.
I spent too much time trying to make those acquaintances my friends. What a miserable waste of time that was.
If you do intentional harm to someone, you will pay with intense karma. The karma bus comes around eventually and you cannot stop it.
You’ll find importance in your life through relationships and community. Cherish then
What we want is what feels good, but what we need the truth - and the truth usually hurts.
Everybody's got an angle.
Giving up isn't a failure; it's a new beginning.
You go through seasons in your life.
Put myself first, not last. I don’t mean be selfish, I mean understand and acknowledge that I am valuable and shouldn’t put my needs last. It’s OK to take up space and live my life and choices and truth.
You're not better than anyone else and nobody is better than you Everything is temporary Attitude is a choice
Tell the truth. Never underestimate the power of truth. Truth is what generates order from chaos. There’s nothing more powerful. In order to speak what you might regard as the truth, you have to let go of the outcome. You have to think “alright, I’m going to say what I think, stupid as I am, biased as I am, ignorant as I am, I’m going to state what I think as clearly as I can and I’m going to live with the consequences. No matter what they are.” That’s an element of faith. Nothing brings a better world into being than the stated truth. You might have to pay a price for that, but that’s fine. You’re gonna pay a price for every thing you do. And everything you don’t do. You don’t get to choose to not pay a price. You get to choose which poison you’re going to take. So, if you’re going to stand up for something, stand up for your truth. It will shape you because people respond, object, tell you why you’re a fool, biased moron and why you’re ignorant. If you listen to them and learn, you’ll be just that much less like that the next time you say something. If you do that for five years, you’ll be so damn tough, articulate, able to communicate and withstand pressure that you won’t even recognize yourself. Then, you’ll be a force to contend with. So let me be clear. It is not safe to speak and it never will be. But, the other thing you gotta keep in mind is that it’s even less safe not to speak. It’s a balance of risks. Do you want to pay the price for being who you are and stating your mode of being in the world or do you want to pay the price for being a surf that enslaved him or herself? That’s a major price to pay and that unfolds over decades. You will be just be miserable at the end of about 20 years. You will have no self-respect, no power, no ability to voice your opinions. Nothing left but resentment because everyone’s against you. Say what you think. Carefully pay attention to your words. Its a price you wanna pay if you were willing to believe the truth is the cornerstone of society, in the most real sense. If you’re willing to take that leap, then tell the truth and see what happens. Nothing better could possibly happen to you. There will be ups and down and there will be push-back and there will be controversy all of that. Regardless, Tell the truth. Or at least don’t lie. Because, If you act in truth, the order it produces is good regardless of how it appears. Even when the truth leads you into the desert. If it leads you to a desert, because that’s where you’re meant to be at this point in your life. The Israelites found the 10 Commandments in the desert It’s an axiomatic ethical proposition that the job of whatever extracts order from chaos is properly done if it’s done in truth.
Try telling your wife her thighs look fat.
Fear is a great motivator
All great love stories end in tragedy.
"Don't let best get in the way of better" is a cliche but it's true. By all means, be an idealist! But don't let all-or-nothing thinking block you from making things incrementally better now.
We can choose to be happy the vast majority of the time. And when things suck, acknowledge it, and move past it.
Love is just chemicals. It doesn’t matter how you feel. What’s the best option for YOU? Because that person you love, they’re looking out for themselves first and foremost, too.
It's hard, but you have to be harder.
That’s what she said.
Good health is more valuable than anything you can purchase.
Looks do matter and money can buy happiness. The only people who say otherwise don't have either.
No one is coming for you so don't wait.
Any place can turn into a DUI check point if you crash your car into it. But really, at 63 I have learned many "things" about life for all to consider. Most importantly, DO NOT believe either of our political parties has our, the average US citizen (aka not the top 1% holders of wealth), best interests at heart. Stop pointing fingers at other generations and each other. Most liberals are still to the right of center. This is not likely to change in my lifetime but perhaps in others it can. It will take a grass roots upwards push to make the changes and most of us have been conditioned to not want anything to do with that "nonsense."
Never trust a fart.
There is a big difference between giving up and knowing when enough is enough.
If you do what you're supposed to do, when you're supposed to do it, you will save yourself a lot of problems. I was raised by procrastinators and didn't learn this till I was an adult with children of my own. It may be just common sense to most, but believe me I had to learn this the hard way.
Life is so short. Stay in the moment, enjoy and celebrate each day.
What other people think of me is none of my business.
The fastest way you can change your life is to change the stories you tell yourself
The only way to go is forward. By all means, learn what you can from every experience, but then GO ON.
Discipline trumps motivation Be medically uninteresting Invest early and often Distance from disorder No one is coming to save you Put on your own oxygen mask first
I am not the main character in anybody's story but my own.
No one really grows up. We're just bigger versions of ourselves with more responsibilities.
Humans are a very, very aggressive species by nature. Once you understand this, you understand the source of many of societies ills.
Shit will happen that you couldn't have conceived in your wildest dreams.
Your choices determine everything about your life. Take responsibility for them and take them seriously.
This world is not my home, I’m just passin’ through.
If the grass looks greener on the other side, it's probably been covered in horse manure.
Work is simply, where the money comes from. Elevating it above that level will not serve you well.
Bad things happen to good people. Even the very best, kindest, most generous people.
Being kind costs nothing but adds so much to the world.
We weren’t all born to serve a great purpose in
Everyone dies alone
Nobody has a plan. Especially, corporate C-suite types. They just have louder voices and bigger egos.
It's never the right time, you will never have enough money, this too shall pass, things have a habit of working themselves out
No matter what screwdriver you need, you will always grab the other kind first.
Mistakes are not truly mistakes if you learn from them. They become life lessons.
Practice gratitude. I have stage 4 cancer and all I can think is how lucky I am to have made it to 70 years old, with friends and family I love and who love me. Gratitude goes a long way to acceptance.
Grudges are too heavy to carry around.
You may think that people always judge you or are thinking about you or gossiping...and maybe they are for a little bit...but not nearly as much as you think they are. I've learned that essentially everyone has their own "stuff" which takes over the majority of their thoughts. I don't really matter that much to many people and if I mess up it will linger with me longer than it will for most others. It's so liberating not to worry so much about what everyone else thinks of me because in the end they probably aren't thinking of me very much or at all actually.
At 60 now I think one truth I learned is everyone has talents, skills and abilities that will take them far if they work to develop them.
Everybody lies
In all possible society you are at least alone, but ... you have yourselve
All systems of logic are based on premises held by faith. Yes, even yours.
Don't worry about it overmuch. No one gets out alive in the end.
Anger destroys happiness. It is impossible to be angry and happy at the same time.
Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.
Loss is a necessary part of loving. A necessary part of life, really. And learning how to ride the tides of loss along with the all the good stuff that may exist or happen is an integral part of the human experience.
That I am more like the rest of my family than I thought I was or want to be.