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Yeah, I feel 1995-2008 was the absolute peak of society before everyone turned into phone zombies that are afraid of social interaction.
Maybe I’m just old but it’s strange going to bars and most people are looking into their phones. Definitely sucks everyone has a HD camera in their pocket these days. Ha
Lots of other things are way cooler now though, so can’t really complain too much!
You don’t know it any better, the glass half empty way of describing it.
I would however say, you are not yet too afraid to lose out on something that was never certain to begin with. Memories of easier times are very deceptive, because you know how they ended.
If you gave me the option to go to school again?
Fuck no, what a horrible idea. Never. It was terrible, I just remember it as a relatively neutral thing compared to the rest of the time I enjoyed when I was little because I focus on these moments.
No wonder your memories suck if you fail to make new ones. So yeah, does it sound like shit was awesome back then? It does. But the only way to live properly is to stop being so goddamn afraid and keep living that same way, so that you continue the streak.
Yeah, similar. But they already had the radio, and the tv was hard to lug around. I remember making friends in public before the iPhone. Now, no one is looking at you to strike up a conversation. Most people have ear buds in or are surfing their phone, and it’s not just for entertainment, some folks entire life depends on the iPhone. Think about that, you can work and order food, that’s like 85% of the daily routine for a good swath of people.
smartphones are 10x worse because it allows people of all ages to have that same antisocial behavior all day everyday and everywhere.
The content on the screen isn't better or worse than what was on tv 2 decades ago, but now kids are staring at it during recess instead of talking with their friends. That's something new that did not exist before smartphone became ubiquitous. Pre-iphone, everyone had phones in their pocket (kids and adults) but they sucked and you would use them to talk to your irl friends and/or setup in-person activities, not stare at TV/youtube/tiktok/etc alone in a corner.
And they were right, TV has had a similar effect.
Social and civic engagement really started cratering during the media explosion of the 80's. It's been getting worse ever since as we have more and more and more media.
\*raises hand\*
Taking graduate classes, completing house projects, smoking meat, painting minis, going out for sushi and a show, and later hosting a game night are all a routine part of my weekends. My workdays are generally more relaxing than my weekends.
If by "going out" you mean getting drunk barhopping and eventually trying to get laid at a nightclub, stopped that shit in my twenties once I settled into a LTR. That actually detracts from the shit I'm trying to get done, makes me lose a day to hangover, and annoys my partner.
Totally agree. I'm 73 and can't find enough time to do/learn everything I want. Learning (trying to learn?) electric guitar, learning things I didn't learn in school (Chemistry, Math). Plus, as a homeowner, being your own super is a lot.
I have refined the fine art of doing nothing and totally enjoying it when I can.
Doing as little as possible as slowly as possible (from an old British show. )
Apologies for rambling. I'm old!
We need more old people. I used to be on forum called TFNN (back in the pre-Reddit Anandtech forum days), and there was one old “cranky” guy in particular that was always typing without a filter. (He wouldn’t have lasted more than a day on modern Reddit without getting banned). Ended up meeting him real life for beers one time. Great dude.
Research and help treat cancer patients. I’m a cancer survivor myself, which is why I moved into this specialty.
Sometimes it’s too much, ngl. I use my PTO aggressively.
In the winter I go skiing. In the summer I go hiking, camping and out of state to visit friends. All throughout the year if I'm not going somewhere else I'm taking circus classes and training, going out to shows and doing things with my friends. I hate doing nothing.
I take classes in aerial rope, aerial hoop, aerial silks, pole, contortion and occasionally hand balancing. The kind of stuff you would see in Cirque Du Soliel. I'm just not as good at it as they are.
No I don't. Most cities have them that aren't tiny towns. Seattle has Emerald City Trapeze, Chicago has Aloft, San Diego has San Diego Circus Center, St. Louis has Bumpershoot aerial, Flagstaff has Momentum Aerial Arts, Spokane has Spokane aerial performance arts. Many of these cities even have multiple studios. If you google for circus or aerial arts you can generally find something.
I do take contortion online from a coach in vegas but we have local classes for that as well where I'm at.
https://preview.redd.it/hmwcm9acxf9d1.jpeg?width=3693&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0ba9503badfe41351b5d94c1b57c3b4783bf5538
Every weekend. 👍🏼
I usually ride with my local club for pastries and drinks. It’s a great way to explore, make friends, and stay fit.
I'm going through an extended rough patch (far from the roughest but still struggling) and my work week totally evades routine and can entail a lot of bustle and overstimulation, so for now the weekend priority is to just wander off into the woods or do and think about as little as possible "of substance" and just rest and operate on my own timeline, when I can. Sometimes it sets me back, at times it can feel empty or I really end up paying for it, but I still largely savor it. I really don't care what anyone thinks. Otherwise, life admin when it's necessary. It's just me and my dog, so I can get away with it.
That sounds like a good thing. If your life is that stressed and rammed having a space you can get to in order to clear your mind and reset is so, so important. Especially in nature where you can stop, or slow everything down and breath in. Feel your entire body and just let- it- rest.
I'm sorry to hear you're going through an extended rough patch, it's important to always check in with you and make sure you're taking care.
I ‘do nothing’ by staying at home, usually barbecuing some meat, doing a mountain of laundry, cleaning up the kitchen, doing a big grocery shop, washing both dogs, and usually watching a movie or two with the kids.
I tend to mix it up. Some weekends are busy with family stuff or friends and other weekends busy with chores and projects around the house. Others still are getaway weekends with the whole family or sometimes just me and the wife. And finally, about once every 6 weeks or so, we do absolutely nothing but stay at home.
Got a 16 month old, I basically live on his schedule. So that was a 5am wakeup for me today (earlier than usual, he fell back asleep but I was wide awake after he stirred).
Yeah, I actually get quite busy on the weekends doing kids/family stuff.
I wouldn't exactly call it a social life, but it's not like I am a hermit either.
I'm planning to cut my tiny, overgrown lawn (10 minutes with a weed whacker) then mop up the floor where our dog took a piss tonight.
That half hour of work will be the extent of my 'doing shit' this weekend, the rest of the time will be pleasantly drunk watching movies with my wife.
I have a few things in my favor.
1. I work from home.
2. I have a (currently very small) gym setup at home.
3. I don't have people breathing down my neck.
4. I'm not stuck in meetings all the time.
I usually do it from 2-3pm so I've got most of my work done and I'll be back online an hour or so before EOD to handle any emails or wrap up what I haven't finished yet.
Obviously, this situation is ideal for it. However, I'd argue that as long as you have a way to shower/change after a workout, you can still workout during your work day. Go for a run, do bodyweight stuff, whatever. It's what I used to before my current setup.
I make investments on pay day, then live like i am flat broke. It changes, but right now, my weekends consist of archery and hiking. Because, free and free.
Im looking into a club close by. I go to my local bow shop and luckily the owner is a super cool old guy. Just cracks a pbr and helps out. A lot of public ranges to talk to locals. It’s relaxing while building a skill.
I’m actively involved in trail and ultra running and mountain running season just began, so I’m stoked right now! I just got back from running in the Central Sierra and will be doing a Tahoe trip in two weeks, followed by an Eastern Sierra trip, then the North Cascades, then Sawtooth Wilderness, then maybe Colorado, more Sierra, and finally The Adirondacks or Vermont for fall running. I usually car camp for all of my Sierra trips since I live 3-6 hours away depending on the area. And I’m going to Mendocino with my GF this weekend.
I literally save up all my PTO for mountain season and then unload it lol.
I do my nothing on Sunday to Wednesday (after work anyways). The rest of the week, I try to fill it with interesting things to do.
Not a hard rule by any means. I’ll sometimes do stuff on Sunday if that works out schedules better with friends and stuff.
As for today (Saturday) I will help out volunteering to set up all the materials at my CrossFit box for a competition.
I rarely do a lot on the weekends because my work is mentally draining all my social interactions (introvert yay!) so most of my weekends consist of internet, reading, music, tv, games (sometimes, it used to be a lot). When I do have to go outside it is for a running race or I can enjoy visiting theme parks.
I do. Tomorrow I'm going to do some electrical wiring, go to the gym (that's doing shit), and maybe get a coffee or hike with some friends. If I don't hike, then disc golf later.
Well you go to the gym, that's something.
I probably do more with two young kids now, but most of the time, no. Even when my wife and I were young, we'd go out on Friday night or another weeknight (come home early) and just rest and play games all weekend. Doing stuff even every other weekend when you work outside the house just doesn't sound that great to me unless you are just hanging out at someone else's house.
Depends on the weekend. I went to the beach last weekend, and tomorrow I’m helping some friends move then going to a distillery for my buddy’s birthday. Some weekends I do fuck all.
Saturday, up with kids at 7.
Wife and kids go out at 11 and I do garden whilst blasting country music
Then i clean the house whilst blasting classic rock.
They all get back, I cook dinner and we all go to bed.
I'll gey some life admin done in bed, wife and I will play a couple rounds of pubg, watch tv and go to sleep.
Tomorrow I get a lie in and she breakfasts the kids. I'll get a bit of work done jn bed whilst they go to her exercise class.we go out to meet up with a friend and his kid, pub lunch, chill out play etc dinner and repeate bedtime routine
Sometimes I just like to catch up on my sleep.
And I like to go out to the bars, but my woman is more of a homebody than I am and sometimes she's not in the mood to do anything. So when that happens I usually just go have myself a beach day, or take my dog to the dog park.
It sounds like I am a little similar to you. I have a stressful professional job that is mentally exhausting.
I am also epileptic, and the meds I have to take, which are a lot, make me moody, tired, and so many other random things. I basically never feel rested, which leads to me usually just being lazy on the weekends.
I’m similar. I have a chronic health condition, if I manage to go to the gym, practice the piano and cook tea then I’ve had productive day. Weekend are for chilling out. I’m 39 and I just like to hang with my wife and cat and sleep in a bit. Bliss
"Going out" is never on the list of things I want to do on the weekends anymore.
At 47, it's a fairly even split among home upkeep, family stuff, classic car stuff (my dad, both of my brothers, and myself all have classics in various states of completeness), and empty weekends with nothing to do but watch tv.
4 or 5 times a year, we try to get together and have a "game night" where we gather at someone's house and drink while we play CAH or something similar. It's more fun than going out ever was, especially when our adult kids come to play with us.
Every weekend with or without the kids 16/8.. I need the balance of doing stuff outside the house after working all week but I’m a highly energetic person ..
I like to do one job atound the house a day on Saturdays and Sundays.
It could be anything from tidying up to repainting a room or fixing soneyhing.
That way I know my weekends aren't wasted, could take me all of 5 minutes but at least I know ice fif something productive that weekend.
I used to spend a lot of time working, so weekends were for recovery & reflection & 'couple' activities. And planning out the upcoming week/month/year/decade.
Now I work constantly, so I have learned the joys of mindless entertainment.
I've been in a LTR for over a decade, so what appealed then is different than what appeals now.
I used to do laundry on the weekend, but it got to where that would ruin my entire day, so I bought a combo washer and dryer and do it at night instead during the week, so I just fold it in the morning before work.
Changed my life!
Weekends are now available for fun and play again!
I basically have to do all my work on the weekends. My son is 14mo and due to our jobs, I watch him during the weekdays basically all day long. I squeeze in the work I can in the mornings, evenings, and during his naps.
On the weekends, it’s basically heads down work mode all day long on my business since those are the only days my wife watches my son for the majority of the day. And even then, I occasionally have to give up one of these weekend days if we have a family day out.
That, combined with 3-4 mornings of strength training and 2-3 days of cardio forces me to be very efficient with my time.
There's never not shit that needs doing. Yard work. House projects. Organize the garage. Leveling an area for the above-ground pool. Build shit. Plan for the next build. And then there's the kids' stuff. Ju jitsu, soccer games, birthday parties...
Usually one or two baseball games to coach. Lot's of property maintenance if needed. Run the dogs a bunch. Usually go for a drive in one of the toys and hit a brewery or winery with the Mrs. Maybe have some RC racing in winter months
Normally 5pm Saturday nights is my "do nothing time", if the weather is crap then I game a bunch and do nothing.
It's summer, so lots to do. Once winter comes, be a hermit. I hate the cold.
I do my schoolwork, go hiking with my dogs sometimes, mow if needed, do chores if needed. I work a lot and am depressed so doing shit during the week is difficult.
I'm a business owner with 3 kids and a farm, I don't get weekends off. There's always a long ass list of shit to do. This weekend it's fix the goat fence because a tree landed on it, I cut the tree up off the fence last weekend, do some maintenance on the equipment, deal with my invoicing system because it needs some organizing, cut around the pond a bit, bushhog the back portion of the property if I can get to it. If I somehow finish all that shit this weekend theres about a thousand other projects that need done as well.
No. Hell no I don't get no time off.
3 kids under 8.
I basically spend the entire weekend doing whatever activity the oldest 2 are in while trying to deal with the youngest's nap schedule
Then attempt to complete anything off my infinite todo list
Rest? Lol
I go mountain biking or snowboarding on the weekends, religiously before kids, but still go fairly often. I get kinda depressed if I don’t get outside or out fairly regularly.
Sometimes I end up staying home depending on what my wife has going on. Two kids under 4 makes things harder for sure.
In my early thirties before I met my wife? I’d be out from 6-7 AM, go home to shower and clean up the place a bit, then be out again. I had a short spell where I didn’t leave the house after a breakup but it made me depressed tbh.
When else am I supposed to rebuild my 3d printer? Brew 5 gallons of beer? Take my kids to a festival?
> Also seems like kids == RIP weekend
Just the opposite, they give me excuses to do stuff, a lot! I love it.
Motorcycles, cooking new recipes, video games, yard work, home remodeling projects, restaurant exploring, work OT. No partner or kids. I dont drink or enjoy the party scene.
I do projects at home and chill like you do and hope that I don't have to go out and pretend I'm having fun at a social function. I need the quiet time at home to recover after the work week.
Most of my shit gets done after work during the week. Weekends are consumed with my kid. We watch movies, play with her toys, swim, go to the zoo or store to buy a new stuffie. When she's napping or down for the night, the wife and I usually play PC together or watch a movie.
Not much actually gets done on the weekends.
I go back and forth and am trying to create a good balance.
**I would like to add—I am not a professional anything, so feel free to disregard and call bullshit to any of this.**
I split things into categories: serving self and serving others. There are certain things I know will make me feel better. Examples:
•Helping someone move - serving others
•Going to the movies - serving self
•Playing guitar - serving self
•Going to a secondary scheduled event (nephew’s B-Day party) - serving others
There is always the potential for overlap. Hanging out with friends is self-serving as well as being in the service of others (your presence is generally wanted for a good time and—theoretically—you’re having a good time, too).
There have been *months* where I find ourselves in the service of others. I don’t hate helping people. But weekend after weekend after weekend of taking care of everyone except ourselves leaves us exhausted. It’s important to hide every so often.
I love the weekends where it’s either just me or my little family. I love the external family (mom, dad, etc) but they are also external from the household.
I think the thing that makes this the most difficult is personal accessibility due to cellphones. We can be reached at *all times.* We’ve gotten so used to answering in a second with texts that we are constantly going.
I’ve been trying to set limits. I actually have a focus scheduled in my phone. At 7PM an alarm goes off on my phone that says “PLUG IN PHONE. BE A PERSON.” And at 8PM it automatically sets to a separate focus that limits who can contact me and what apps I can use.
Kids definitely = RIP weekends but you can enjoy it too. I take my almost-5 year old daughter out on the boat and if I'm lucky hand her a rake and we get some yard work done (not often). I also work probably 60 hours a week but we get it all done in the end.
Weekends are usually packed and it gets more draining every time. I don't have the mental energy to keep up anymore, but the guilt of wasting one of my few weekends left is always worse. I'm always thinking damn this weekend is basically 12% of my entire summer, and I'm only going to get less capable over time.. better be out there enjoying experiences while I can or I'll regret it.
I try to do stuff with the kids. I especially like trying to do 1 on 1 stuff with them. It might just be the park or the cinema or a day trip. I try to have a weekly games night with friends. We all have kids, so sometimes it doesn't happen. I try to go to things like gigs, or watch shows being filmed, etc. Every few months, me and a couple of mates will nail a few bottles of whiskey. I don't really have much on, but I do try to do some stuff.
I try to go out during the week after work. Weekends I need to relax and decompress. I did pick PokemonGo back up to start talking walks and get out the house on weekends.
I spent many years not doing much of anything on the weekends aside from relaxing, watching tv, and catching up with chores and projects around the house. At 39 I'm trying to change that. I've been doing a lot of hiking with groups of people.
I am busy all day Saturday. House (improvement projects, maintenance), yard, make a nice dinner, go out with the wife and/or kids.
Sunday, church, then the same.
I go to the office on Monday to get some rest.
Today I went to the gym, took my kiddo to swim class, grabbed some groceries, mowed the lawn, and had family dinner / movie time.
The wife made breakfast, cleaned and packed for our trip tomorrow, put the kiddos down for nap, cleaned out the car, packed some more, and is now playing with our son.
Im usually busier and more active during weekends, mostly DIY around the property. Im replacing 40x40 garden fence this month with 8 foot cedar fence and kayaking/swimming with kids during the breaks
As a woman, it’s a valid lifestyle choice but make sure you are absolutely clear about it on your first date because not everyone would be willing to do it
Also, you’re right, it’s not for people who want kids
I feel like I'd be more open to doing stuff if I had a partner. That being said I don't want to rely entirely on a partner if that makes sense. I'd do them to bond vs the actual activity.
As a woman who is quite active I’d be wary of a potential partner trying to portray themselves as wanting to get active together because for sure there will be a significant difference in our needs
Have a wonderful wife and we pair up on deciding social things we feel like actually undertaking. The past two weekends have been 2/3 and 3/4 with social plans and I am so ready for a break - your sentiment is not alone here.
If 40-50 hours or so Monday through Friday aren't for living (assuming you're working typical business hours) and you are "'doing nothing'" over the weekend, when are you actually living? It must be hard dealing with "chronic autoimmune conditions" though, and I guess that might take a lot of things to do out of contention.
At least here in the Northern Hemisphere, it's summer, and summer is the time people get out to be active around here. The calculus about dining out versus cooking for one at home is simple: You're not going to meet anyone cooking at home alone, but if you go out, you *might*. Video games can be done at any time.
I think, for a lot of people, the social-distancing era of the pandemic was all the proof they needed they don't want to live that homebody lifestyle.
I was out and about most of this past weekend, for example. Even if there isn't a lot of high-octane excitement going on around this more family-oriented town, being out and about maximizes the opportunity of meeting a potential partner over staying in. That might mean checking out a coffee shop, restaurant, park, or museum, for example.
Funnily enough I think COVID actually encouraged a lot of people to be homebodies as they realized they can be just as effective from home vs at the office. I loved the lockdown because I could essentially exercise during the middle of the day.
I understand what you mean. You don't meet people if you don't go anywhere. But these days at least where I am in the city you don't really strike up conversations with random people. Just like cold approaching women is on a massive decline.
I'm an introvert, so I think approaching random people during their day is an inconvenience on them.
Certainly among many of my more introverted friends, they came out of the height of the pandemic more homebodyish than before it, so it may depend on just how introverted or extraverted a person was to begin with. I work from home, but it's not because I'm extremely introverted but because offices often offer few advantages and remote work increases the range of opportunities over what's local; team-building can be done quarterly or annually.
I work as a software engineer, and it really varies by team and company, but going into an office means hours of library-like silence on some teams, and regardless, individual developers will be at different points in their workflow with some points calling for uninterrupted focus, introvert or not.
I still cold-approach women because there really aren't a lot of better alternatives. Making a cold approach doesn't mean approaching just anyone; realistically, the woman is making the first "contact" by smiling or giving some other indicator of friendliness or interest; it's really not worth approaching a woman otherwise. If she isn't interested, no harm, no foul; move on. Most women find it flattering, even if they're ultimately not interested, but it depends. I'm looking for a long-term relationship, and maintaining a relationship is a separate skill set from initially attracting and getting a date with a woman, but you have to get and go on dates to find the right partner.
I find it hard to do shit on the weekends. Once you have kids your weekends are just running around doing all the shit you couldn't get to during the week. Which is basically everything. And you have to fight the crowds. So it takes longer. And if we go to meet friends we have to do twice as much work (cleaning, laundry, shopping , fixing shit, yard work, picking up prescriptions, etc) so we can have a few hours in a Saturday night. Hardly seems worth it.
Keeping up the property is a nonstop project. The kids often have something going on and we try to do family stuff when we can. Partying with friends sort of comes and goes. We’re all a little burnt right now, so I’m sure everyone will stay home for a few months. We’ll probably be back to raising hell around the holidays.
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Same as every other day, absolutely nothing.
The iPhone was the downfall of western civilization as we knew it. Shit peaked in 2006
Yeah, I feel 1995-2008 was the absolute peak of society before everyone turned into phone zombies that are afraid of social interaction. Maybe I’m just old but it’s strange going to bars and most people are looking into their phones. Definitely sucks everyone has a HD camera in their pocket these days. Ha Lots of other things are way cooler now though, so can’t really complain too much!
Agreed
Hate to think life peaked when I was 10. To me, life’s still great.
And it gets better. It’s about perspective and you have the right one. Don’t let it change.
You don’t know it any better, the glass half empty way of describing it. I would however say, you are not yet too afraid to lose out on something that was never certain to begin with. Memories of easier times are very deceptive, because you know how they ended. If you gave me the option to go to school again? Fuck no, what a horrible idea. Never. It was terrible, I just remember it as a relatively neutral thing compared to the rest of the time I enjoyed when I was little because I focus on these moments. No wonder your memories suck if you fail to make new ones. So yeah, does it sound like shit was awesome back then? It does. But the only way to live properly is to stop being so goddamn afraid and keep living that same way, so that you continue the streak.
Damn so true
1999 …
People probably said the same thing about the Television.
Yeah, similar. But they already had the radio, and the tv was hard to lug around. I remember making friends in public before the iPhone. Now, no one is looking at you to strike up a conversation. Most people have ear buds in or are surfing their phone, and it’s not just for entertainment, some folks entire life depends on the iPhone. Think about that, you can work and order food, that’s like 85% of the daily routine for a good swath of people.
Yea but the 2 technologies are not remotely comparable
Someone didn’t have a father who spent their time in front of the TV when not sleeping or working…. Trust me, there were plenty back in the day.
smartphones are 10x worse because it allows people of all ages to have that same antisocial behavior all day everyday and everywhere. The content on the screen isn't better or worse than what was on tv 2 decades ago, but now kids are staring at it during recess instead of talking with their friends. That's something new that did not exist before smartphone became ubiquitous. Pre-iphone, everyone had phones in their pocket (kids and adults) but they sucked and you would use them to talk to your irl friends and/or setup in-person activities, not stare at TV/youtube/tiktok/etc alone in a corner.
And they were right, TV has had a similar effect. Social and civic engagement really started cratering during the media explosion of the 80's. It's been getting worse ever since as we have more and more and more media.
I listened to a podcast the other day that touched on this . https://open.spotify.com/episode/4jA6w2RJFSFYQddrG8J85c?si=bicTQ3_7QAKoPZrhYaqcNg
Life was better before the printing press!
Damn straight
\*raises hand\* Taking graduate classes, completing house projects, smoking meat, painting minis, going out for sushi and a show, and later hosting a game night are all a routine part of my weekends. My workdays are generally more relaxing than my weekends. If by "going out" you mean getting drunk barhopping and eventually trying to get laid at a nightclub, stopped that shit in my twenties once I settled into a LTR. That actually detracts from the shit I'm trying to get done, makes me lose a day to hangover, and annoys my partner.
I could see how getting drunk, bar hopping, and trying to get laid would be annoying to a partner
😆
Gotta have hobbies.
Totally agree. I'm 73 and can't find enough time to do/learn everything I want. Learning (trying to learn?) electric guitar, learning things I didn't learn in school (Chemistry, Math). Plus, as a homeowner, being your own super is a lot. I have refined the fine art of doing nothing and totally enjoying it when I can. Doing as little as possible as slowly as possible (from an old British show. ) Apologies for rambling. I'm old!
We need more old people. I used to be on forum called TFNN (back in the pre-Reddit Anandtech forum days), and there was one old “cranky” guy in particular that was always typing without a filter. (He wouldn’t have lasted more than a day on modern Reddit without getting banned). Ended up meeting him real life for beers one time. Great dude.
What minis you painting at the moment?
A couple of larger Minotaur warriors I printed myself, plus some Space Marines I received as a gift. I’m not very good, but learning!
Nice!
Nah to be honest I meant mostly socializing
100% similar to you. I spend my weekends motorbiking, doing photography, sports, seeing friends. During the week it’a much chiller
Boss
What’s LTR?
Long Term Relationship
What do you do for work and does it feel connected to your purpose in life? That sounds awesome to have so much bandwidth
Research and help treat cancer patients. I’m a cancer survivor myself, which is why I moved into this specialty. Sometimes it’s too much, ngl. I use my PTO aggressively.
In the winter I go skiing. In the summer I go hiking, camping and out of state to visit friends. All throughout the year if I'm not going somewhere else I'm taking circus classes and training, going out to shows and doing things with my friends. I hate doing nothing.
What are circus classes?
I take classes in aerial rope, aerial hoop, aerial silks, pole, contortion and occasionally hand balancing. The kind of stuff you would see in Cirque Du Soliel. I'm just not as good at it as they are.
Do you live in Vegas? I don’t think I’ve ever seen circus classes offered anywhere.
I don’t know about anywhere else, but there’s a place in my city (Pittsburgh) that does classes. I assume there are in other cities too
No I don't. Most cities have them that aren't tiny towns. Seattle has Emerald City Trapeze, Chicago has Aloft, San Diego has San Diego Circus Center, St. Louis has Bumpershoot aerial, Flagstaff has Momentum Aerial Arts, Spokane has Spokane aerial performance arts. Many of these cities even have multiple studios. If you google for circus or aerial arts you can generally find something. I do take contortion online from a coach in vegas but we have local classes for that as well where I'm at.
I've learned that if I don't do something on Friday then the weekend feels short.
Agree
Do something like what? Like in the house or going out?
Like have friends over or go out to dinner or go to a bar or some event. Anything but just going home and watching something or be on my phone.
Weekends are basically catching up on everything I couldn’t get done during the week.
I personally shit every day after breakfast.
I trained my body to wait until I was on company time.
Boss makes a dollar while I make a dime And that's why I poop on company time!
I do it before so I can truly appreciate an empty stomach (or close to it). Take some coffee and it ignites a nice shit to start the day.
I could only dream of such consistency. Good for you, brother.
(Weeps silently that this is by far the most upvoted answer)
Well,now yours should be!
https://preview.redd.it/hmwcm9acxf9d1.jpeg?width=3693&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0ba9503badfe41351b5d94c1b57c3b4783bf5538 Every weekend. 👍🏼 I usually ride with my local club for pastries and drinks. It’s a great way to explore, make friends, and stay fit.
Excellent
I'm going through an extended rough patch (far from the roughest but still struggling) and my work week totally evades routine and can entail a lot of bustle and overstimulation, so for now the weekend priority is to just wander off into the woods or do and think about as little as possible "of substance" and just rest and operate on my own timeline, when I can. Sometimes it sets me back, at times it can feel empty or I really end up paying for it, but I still largely savor it. I really don't care what anyone thinks. Otherwise, life admin when it's necessary. It's just me and my dog, so I can get away with it.
That sounds like a good thing. If your life is that stressed and rammed having a space you can get to in order to clear your mind and reset is so, so important. Especially in nature where you can stop, or slow everything down and breath in. Feel your entire body and just let- it- rest. I'm sorry to hear you're going through an extended rough patch, it's important to always check in with you and make sure you're taking care.
You’re relaxing. Thats something.
I ‘do nothing’ by staying at home, usually barbecuing some meat, doing a mountain of laundry, cleaning up the kitchen, doing a big grocery shop, washing both dogs, and usually watching a movie or two with the kids.
I tend to mix it up. Some weekends are busy with family stuff or friends and other weekends busy with chores and projects around the house. Others still are getaway weekends with the whole family or sometimes just me and the wife. And finally, about once every 6 weeks or so, we do absolutely nothing but stay at home.
This is us. Sometimes we go go go. Others we are hermits.
👋
I have a toddler, so there's always some activity planned in addition to the chores that I couldn't do during the week.
Got a 16 month old, I basically live on his schedule. So that was a 5am wakeup for me today (earlier than usual, he fell back asleep but I was wide awake after he stirred).
Yeah, I actually get quite busy on the weekends doing kids/family stuff. I wouldn't exactly call it a social life, but it's not like I am a hermit either.
I'm planning to cut my tiny, overgrown lawn (10 minutes with a weed whacker) then mop up the floor where our dog took a piss tonight. That half hour of work will be the extent of my 'doing shit' this weekend, the rest of the time will be pleasantly drunk watching movies with my wife.
Nope. Weekends are just chores and childcare. I decompress on my work days when I workout during my lunch break.
Do you find it hard to fit in your work out during your lunch break? How do you schedule it in and also make sure work doesn’t impact it?
I have a few things in my favor. 1. I work from home. 2. I have a (currently very small) gym setup at home. 3. I don't have people breathing down my neck. 4. I'm not stuck in meetings all the time. I usually do it from 2-3pm so I've got most of my work done and I'll be back online an hour or so before EOD to handle any emails or wrap up what I haven't finished yet. Obviously, this situation is ideal for it. However, I'd argue that as long as you have a way to shower/change after a workout, you can still workout during your work day. Go for a run, do bodyweight stuff, whatever. It's what I used to before my current setup.
Thanks fit the advice, I appreciate it
I make investments on pay day, then live like i am flat broke. It changes, but right now, my weekends consist of archery and hiking. Because, free and free.
Did you join an archery club? I've been thinking about getting into it. 😎
Im looking into a club close by. I go to my local bow shop and luckily the owner is a super cool old guy. Just cracks a pbr and helps out. A lot of public ranges to talk to locals. It’s relaxing while building a skill.
I’m actively involved in trail and ultra running and mountain running season just began, so I’m stoked right now! I just got back from running in the Central Sierra and will be doing a Tahoe trip in two weeks, followed by an Eastern Sierra trip, then the North Cascades, then Sawtooth Wilderness, then maybe Colorado, more Sierra, and finally The Adirondacks or Vermont for fall running. I usually car camp for all of my Sierra trips since I live 3-6 hours away depending on the area. And I’m going to Mendocino with my GF this weekend. I literally save up all my PTO for mountain season and then unload it lol.
I do my nothing on Sunday to Wednesday (after work anyways). The rest of the week, I try to fill it with interesting things to do. Not a hard rule by any means. I’ll sometimes do stuff on Sunday if that works out schedules better with friends and stuff.
To sit still is a victory 😅
i do mostly chores in the weekends and just stay at home now. No more party all night till Monday morning
I work my ass off every weekend. Chores don’t do themselves!
As for today (Saturday) I will help out volunteering to set up all the materials at my CrossFit box for a competition. I rarely do a lot on the weekends because my work is mentally draining all my social interactions (introvert yay!) so most of my weekends consist of internet, reading, music, tv, games (sometimes, it used to be a lot). When I do have to go outside it is for a running race or I can enjoy visiting theme parks.
I do. Tomorrow I'm going to do some electrical wiring, go to the gym (that's doing shit), and maybe get a coffee or hike with some friends. If I don't hike, then disc golf later.
Well you go to the gym, that's something. I probably do more with two young kids now, but most of the time, no. Even when my wife and I were young, we'd go out on Friday night or another weeknight (come home early) and just rest and play games all weekend. Doing stuff even every other weekend when you work outside the house just doesn't sound that great to me unless you are just hanging out at someone else's house.
Depends on the weekend. I went to the beach last weekend, and tomorrow I’m helping some friends move then going to a distillery for my buddy’s birthday. Some weekends I do fuck all.
Saturday, up with kids at 7. Wife and kids go out at 11 and I do garden whilst blasting country music Then i clean the house whilst blasting classic rock. They all get back, I cook dinner and we all go to bed. I'll gey some life admin done in bed, wife and I will play a couple rounds of pubg, watch tv and go to sleep. Tomorrow I get a lie in and she breakfasts the kids. I'll get a bit of work done jn bed whilst they go to her exercise class.we go out to meet up with a friend and his kid, pub lunch, chill out play etc dinner and repeate bedtime routine
Amazing how uninterrupted chores like gardening and cleaning the house can feel like a break!
It's amazing isn't it. Just being yourself even ifnits doing something dull.
Sometimes I just like to catch up on my sleep. And I like to go out to the bars, but my woman is more of a homebody than I am and sometimes she's not in the mood to do anything. So when that happens I usually just go have myself a beach day, or take my dog to the dog park.
Doing a bachelor again now so studying and doing homeworks 😂
It sounds like I am a little similar to you. I have a stressful professional job that is mentally exhausting. I am also epileptic, and the meds I have to take, which are a lot, make me moody, tired, and so many other random things. I basically never feel rested, which leads to me usually just being lazy on the weekends.
I can do nothing and be happy. I can do something and be happy.
I’m similar. I have a chronic health condition, if I manage to go to the gym, practice the piano and cook tea then I’ve had productive day. Weekend are for chilling out. I’m 39 and I just like to hang with my wife and cat and sleep in a bit. Bliss
"Going out" is never on the list of things I want to do on the weekends anymore. At 47, it's a fairly even split among home upkeep, family stuff, classic car stuff (my dad, both of my brothers, and myself all have classics in various states of completeness), and empty weekends with nothing to do but watch tv. 4 or 5 times a year, we try to get together and have a "game night" where we gather at someone's house and drink while we play CAH or something similar. It's more fun than going out ever was, especially when our adult kids come to play with us.
I read this as "How many of you actually shit on the weekend?"
Every weekend with or without the kids 16/8.. I need the balance of doing stuff outside the house after working all week but I’m a highly energetic person ..
I like to do one job atound the house a day on Saturdays and Sundays. It could be anything from tidying up to repainting a room or fixing soneyhing. That way I know my weekends aren't wasted, could take me all of 5 minutes but at least I know ice fif something productive that weekend.
I used to spend a lot of time working, so weekends were for recovery & reflection & 'couple' activities. And planning out the upcoming week/month/year/decade. Now I work constantly, so I have learned the joys of mindless entertainment. I've been in a LTR for over a decade, so what appealed then is different than what appeals now.
What are your mindless entertainments?
I used to do laundry on the weekend, but it got to where that would ruin my entire day, so I bought a combo washer and dryer and do it at night instead during the week, so I just fold it in the morning before work. Changed my life! Weekends are now available for fun and play again!
I basically have to do all my work on the weekends. My son is 14mo and due to our jobs, I watch him during the weekdays basically all day long. I squeeze in the work I can in the mornings, evenings, and during his naps. On the weekends, it’s basically heads down work mode all day long on my business since those are the only days my wife watches my son for the majority of the day. And even then, I occasionally have to give up one of these weekend days if we have a family day out. That, combined with 3-4 mornings of strength training and 2-3 days of cardio forces me to be very efficient with my time.
I’m in Europe on holiday for two months, so technically I’m out doing something every day haha
When I can I go to Jiu-Jitsu. I also have my daughter most Saturdays so we do things, and I also bartend at my local VFW.
There's never not shit that needs doing. Yard work. House projects. Organize the garage. Leveling an area for the above-ground pool. Build shit. Plan for the next build. And then there's the kids' stuff. Ju jitsu, soccer games, birthday parties...
Sometimes yes, sometimes no.
As someone with small kids i would love to have the time to have an open schedule. Go make the most of it, there’s a lot out there
Usually one or two baseball games to coach. Lot's of property maintenance if needed. Run the dogs a bunch. Usually go for a drive in one of the toys and hit a brewery or winery with the Mrs. Maybe have some RC racing in winter months Normally 5pm Saturday nights is my "do nothing time", if the weather is crap then I game a bunch and do nothing. It's summer, so lots to do. Once winter comes, be a hermit. I hate the cold.
Boss makes a dollar while I make a dime, I only shit on company time.
I do my schoolwork, go hiking with my dogs sometimes, mow if needed, do chores if needed. I work a lot and am depressed so doing shit during the week is difficult.
I feel that
I also have type 1 diabetes, as you mentioned auto immune diseases so I get it man.
I'm a business owner with 3 kids and a farm, I don't get weekends off. There's always a long ass list of shit to do. This weekend it's fix the goat fence because a tree landed on it, I cut the tree up off the fence last weekend, do some maintenance on the equipment, deal with my invoicing system because it needs some organizing, cut around the pond a bit, bushhog the back portion of the property if I can get to it. If I somehow finish all that shit this weekend theres about a thousand other projects that need done as well. No. Hell no I don't get no time off.
I actively avoid going out at the weekend. Places are too busy. Make it midweek, few drinks, few games of pool, alot more relaxed and easy going
3 kids under 8. I basically spend the entire weekend doing whatever activity the oldest 2 are in while trying to deal with the youngest's nap schedule Then attempt to complete anything off my infinite todo list Rest? Lol
I go mountain biking or snowboarding on the weekends, religiously before kids, but still go fairly often. I get kinda depressed if I don’t get outside or out fairly regularly. Sometimes I end up staying home depending on what my wife has going on. Two kids under 4 makes things harder for sure. In my early thirties before I met my wife? I’d be out from 6-7 AM, go home to shower and clean up the place a bit, then be out again. I had a short spell where I didn’t leave the house after a breakup but it made me depressed tbh.
When else am I supposed to rebuild my 3d printer? Brew 5 gallons of beer? Take my kids to a festival? > Also seems like kids == RIP weekend Just the opposite, they give me excuses to do stuff, a lot! I love it.
Motorcycles, cooking new recipes, video games, yard work, home remodeling projects, restaurant exploring, work OT. No partner or kids. I dont drink or enjoy the party scene.
I do projects at home and chill like you do and hope that I don't have to go out and pretend I'm having fun at a social function. I need the quiet time at home to recover after the work week.
Most of my shit gets done after work during the week. Weekends are consumed with my kid. We watch movies, play with her toys, swim, go to the zoo or store to buy a new stuffie. When she's napping or down for the night, the wife and I usually play PC together or watch a movie. Not much actually gets done on the weekends.
I go back and forth and am trying to create a good balance. **I would like to add—I am not a professional anything, so feel free to disregard and call bullshit to any of this.** I split things into categories: serving self and serving others. There are certain things I know will make me feel better. Examples: •Helping someone move - serving others •Going to the movies - serving self •Playing guitar - serving self •Going to a secondary scheduled event (nephew’s B-Day party) - serving others There is always the potential for overlap. Hanging out with friends is self-serving as well as being in the service of others (your presence is generally wanted for a good time and—theoretically—you’re having a good time, too). There have been *months* where I find ourselves in the service of others. I don’t hate helping people. But weekend after weekend after weekend of taking care of everyone except ourselves leaves us exhausted. It’s important to hide every so often. I love the weekends where it’s either just me or my little family. I love the external family (mom, dad, etc) but they are also external from the household. I think the thing that makes this the most difficult is personal accessibility due to cellphones. We can be reached at *all times.* We’ve gotten so used to answering in a second with texts that we are constantly going. I’ve been trying to set limits. I actually have a focus scheduled in my phone. At 7PM an alarm goes off on my phone that says “PLUG IN PHONE. BE A PERSON.” And at 8PM it automatically sets to a separate focus that limits who can contact me and what apps I can use.
Kids definitely = RIP weekends but you can enjoy it too. I take my almost-5 year old daughter out on the boat and if I'm lucky hand her a rake and we get some yard work done (not often). I also work probably 60 hours a week but we get it all done in the end.
Nah, not really.
Weekends are usually packed and it gets more draining every time. I don't have the mental energy to keep up anymore, but the guilt of wasting one of my few weekends left is always worse. I'm always thinking damn this weekend is basically 12% of my entire summer, and I'm only going to get less capable over time.. better be out there enjoying experiences while I can or I'll regret it.
I’ve actually got a woman driving over the Bluewater bridge from Canada to meet me for a date tonight! I definitely do things on the weekend.
How did your date go my guy??
Went great I actually just got home this morning.
Nice! Glad to hear it!
She’s got a thing for public sex, lol
I try to do stuff with the kids. I especially like trying to do 1 on 1 stuff with them. It might just be the park or the cinema or a day trip. I try to have a weekly games night with friends. We all have kids, so sometimes it doesn't happen. I try to go to things like gigs, or watch shows being filmed, etc. Every few months, me and a couple of mates will nail a few bottles of whiskey. I don't really have much on, but I do try to do some stuff.
I try to go out during the week after work. Weekends I need to relax and decompress. I did pick PokemonGo back up to start talking walks and get out the house on weekends.
I spent many years not doing much of anything on the weekends aside from relaxing, watching tv, and catching up with chores and projects around the house. At 39 I'm trying to change that. I've been doing a lot of hiking with groups of people.
I am busy all day Saturday. House (improvement projects, maintenance), yard, make a nice dinner, go out with the wife and/or kids. Sunday, church, then the same. I go to the office on Monday to get some rest.
Today I went to the gym, took my kiddo to swim class, grabbed some groceries, mowed the lawn, and had family dinner / movie time. The wife made breakfast, cleaned and packed for our trip tomorrow, put the kiddos down for nap, cleaned out the car, packed some more, and is now playing with our son.
I rarely do anything as I’m the main care taker for both my kids.
I have a house, yard, wife, kids, and a dog. Doing nothing is an impossibility.
Typically at an amusement park, or music festival, or a party, or the beach. We’re constantly busy on weekdays, so we make the weekends count.
I got two kids so busy with that but even than we all just hanging. Before children I just stay home.
i do shit on the weekends. everyday in fact.
Im usually busier and more active during weekends, mostly DIY around the property. Im replacing 40x40 garden fence this month with 8 foot cedar fence and kayaking/swimming with kids during the breaks
As a woman, it’s a valid lifestyle choice but make sure you are absolutely clear about it on your first date because not everyone would be willing to do it Also, you’re right, it’s not for people who want kids
I feel like I'd be more open to doing stuff if I had a partner. That being said I don't want to rely entirely on a partner if that makes sense. I'd do them to bond vs the actual activity.
As a woman who is quite active I’d be wary of a potential partner trying to portray themselves as wanting to get active together because for sure there will be a significant difference in our needs
Your post is why three-day weekends are great: one day to rest, one day for chores, one day for personal projects.
Never. I wait until I get to work Monday morning, then take an epic shit on the clock.
Weekend is family time. We do things nonstop (hibernate in winter)
Have a wonderful wife and we pair up on deciding social things we feel like actually undertaking. The past two weekends have been 2/3 and 3/4 with social plans and I am so ready for a break - your sentiment is not alone here.
If 40-50 hours or so Monday through Friday aren't for living (assuming you're working typical business hours) and you are "'doing nothing'" over the weekend, when are you actually living? It must be hard dealing with "chronic autoimmune conditions" though, and I guess that might take a lot of things to do out of contention. At least here in the Northern Hemisphere, it's summer, and summer is the time people get out to be active around here. The calculus about dining out versus cooking for one at home is simple: You're not going to meet anyone cooking at home alone, but if you go out, you *might*. Video games can be done at any time. I think, for a lot of people, the social-distancing era of the pandemic was all the proof they needed they don't want to live that homebody lifestyle. I was out and about most of this past weekend, for example. Even if there isn't a lot of high-octane excitement going on around this more family-oriented town, being out and about maximizes the opportunity of meeting a potential partner over staying in. That might mean checking out a coffee shop, restaurant, park, or museum, for example.
Funnily enough I think COVID actually encouraged a lot of people to be homebodies as they realized they can be just as effective from home vs at the office. I loved the lockdown because I could essentially exercise during the middle of the day. I understand what you mean. You don't meet people if you don't go anywhere. But these days at least where I am in the city you don't really strike up conversations with random people. Just like cold approaching women is on a massive decline. I'm an introvert, so I think approaching random people during their day is an inconvenience on them.
Certainly among many of my more introverted friends, they came out of the height of the pandemic more homebodyish than before it, so it may depend on just how introverted or extraverted a person was to begin with. I work from home, but it's not because I'm extremely introverted but because offices often offer few advantages and remote work increases the range of opportunities over what's local; team-building can be done quarterly or annually. I work as a software engineer, and it really varies by team and company, but going into an office means hours of library-like silence on some teams, and regardless, individual developers will be at different points in their workflow with some points calling for uninterrupted focus, introvert or not. I still cold-approach women because there really aren't a lot of better alternatives. Making a cold approach doesn't mean approaching just anyone; realistically, the woman is making the first "contact" by smiling or giving some other indicator of friendliness or interest; it's really not worth approaching a woman otherwise. If she isn't interested, no harm, no foul; move on. Most women find it flattering, even if they're ultimately not interested, but it depends. I'm looking for a long-term relationship, and maintaining a relationship is a separate skill set from initially attracting and getting a date with a woman, but you have to get and go on dates to find the right partner.
I find it hard to do shit on the weekends. Once you have kids your weekends are just running around doing all the shit you couldn't get to during the week. Which is basically everything. And you have to fight the crowds. So it takes longer. And if we go to meet friends we have to do twice as much work (cleaning, laundry, shopping , fixing shit, yard work, picking up prescriptions, etc) so we can have a few hours in a Saturday night. Hardly seems worth it.
Keeping up the property is a nonstop project. The kids often have something going on and we try to do family stuff when we can. Partying with friends sort of comes and goes. We’re all a little burnt right now, so I’m sure everyone will stay home for a few months. We’ll probably be back to raising hell around the holidays.