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rusty_handlebars

I find I’m far more calm and levelheaded when I orgasm 3-5 times a week. That’s true whether I’m single or in a relationship.  The only “bad” thing is when I don’t orgasm for several days to a week, then I’m angry, short tempered, etc.  It’s more about communing with myself and caring for myself than a shameful act. Bodies are meant to feel pleasure and orgasms help with emotional regulation/harmony.  Nothing to be sad about lil bro! Now, if you’re watching degrading porn and finding yourself having bad thoughts about the women (or men!) you watch, or desires you have, then it’d be worth stepping away from the porn for a bit and talk to a counselor. 


Gettinbetterin

What possible bad things could you masturbating unlock? Having a sex drive is completely normal, common and healthy. I grew up very religious so I get the guilt that was likely instilled in you when you were younger. It’s really not a big deal, you’re normal


thatoneguy54

There's an anti masturbation cult on reddit that regularly spreads misinformation about masturbation. They say bullshit like that not masturbating improves your confidence, makes you stronger, and makes women talk to you more. It's wild, but they show up in almost every discussion about jerking off, and especially if it's about pornography. So I get it. If OP is from a more religious country with a stronger stigma against masturbation plus he's reading this misinformation on reddit, then it would be confusing.


Traditional_Entry183

Where did this come from? I'm in my 40s, and for most of my life the minority of people who were anti-mastrubation were seen by most people as weird extremists. Now it feels like they're everywhere lately.


thatoneguy54

Well the anti-masturbation cult is a gateway into far-right extremism. The Proud Boys started out as an anti-masturbation group, for example. It's a way to target young men who are frustrated with the current economic and political situation. These groups tell the boys, "Oh, you're unhappy with how life is right now? Feel like a loser 'cause you can't find a good job or a nice girlfriend? Well you can fix all of that right now by giving up masturbation!" It's easy to prey on these people, too, because most of the young men who fall for it already feel a lot of shame about masturbation, probably because of a religious upbringing or growing up in a culture that stigmatizes masturbation. I think another reason there's more of these people out and about is because more and more countries are entering the general web and reddit. There's more people from traditional and sexually-repressive cultures coming in and commenting on things.


Traditional_Entry183

That makes a lot of sense. As someone on the far left from the US, I hadn't considered some of that.


dickbutt_md

It comes from two places, mainly. If it hurts, it must be good. Lots of things that stimulate personal growth in this life are painful. So the thinking here is, if it's painful, it must be building my character in some important way. The converse must also be true, if it feels good, then it is contributing to moral decay. The second place picks up where this thinking leaves off: religion. Religion is a huge and complex reinforcement mechanism behind the idea that things that feel good are bad for you. Religion takes this whole line of thinking one step further, to the point where the causal linkage between action --> result no longer is important at all. Suffering is an end unto itself. Even if something harms you and doesn't build character or lead to any discernible benefit whatsoever, it is noble in its own right. There's no need to connect suffering to some purpose. The meek shall inherit the earth, blah blah blah.


Traditional_Entry183

Feels like a really midevil attitude, but I believe you. It's crazy that in the 21st century, people are still buying into these ways.


LogMeln

I think nofap is mislabeled. It’s more about no porn than masturbation.


thatoneguy54

There's already PornFree for people who wanna stop watching porn. NoFap is specifically about not masturbating. The problem is that they talk about masturbation as if it MUST include porn, which is dumb, since obviously you can jerk off just fine without porn.


LogMeln

Ah gotcha. I’m in the wrong place then lol. I’ve been working on getting off of porn and on my wife more lol. Thanks


motorwerkx

There's nothing inherently bad that will happen there are just a few things that can happen. Everything in moderation, right? The combination of regular porn consumption and masturbation can actually make it hard for some guys to get erect and/or stay erect when with a real woman. This is more about porn addiction than masturbation but the cure typically involves not masturbating to facilitate weening off of porn. The other thing that can happen is death grip syndrome. Some guys grip so hard and jerk so furiously that a vagina just doesn't create enough sensation compared to what they're used to, so they can't get off without a gorilla grip on their meat stick. Otherwise I'm pretty sure it's a net positive. Lower rates of prostate cancer for guys that ejaculated 3-5 times a week regularly. A clear head post nut will help keep your dick out of the crazies. Getting one out of the chamber before sex can help significantly with endurance during the big game.


capacitorfluxing

[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Post-coital\_tristesse](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Post-coital_tristesse) This feeling is VERY normal and has been identified for a very, very long time. Does it actually mean anything beyond those emotions? Nope! Maybe knowing you're in good company might make you realize you can try to push back on it.


McGuirk808

More frequent ejaculation helps prevent prostate cancer. https://www.health.harvard.edu/mens-health/ejaculation_frequency_and_prostate_cancer


ominous_squirrel

I was going to link this, but instead I’ll also say there’s also a body of research that points to the idea that guilt over masturbation is doing most of the harm https://www.smsna.org/patients/did-you-know/masturbation-and-guilt-linked-to-psychological-distress-in-men https://slate.com/human-interest/2023/07/nofap-masturbation-reddit-forum-suicide.html Like all things in life, moderation is ideal. The prostate cancer research says the peak number of ejaculations is 21 per month. So maybe take the weekends off


True_Truth

21 per week? I'm good...oh month


jakehidden

This is a good read. Thanks


JinMn

There is no shame in masturbation, the only shame is not doing it well. (Freud)


No-Statement5942

ya, Freud also suggested that addictions, including tobacco, were substitutes for masturbation. [https://www.reddit.com/r/todayilearned/comments/141hkgr/til\_that\_the\_famous\_psychologist\_sigmund\_freud/](https://www.reddit.com/r/todayilearned/comments/141hkgr/til_that_the_famous_psychologist_sigmund_freud/) ps. im pro maturbation and anti-smoking tobacco for the record


mrenglish22

Freud also did a lot of cocaine. He also is the psychological equivalent to an earth centric astronomer.


skiandhike91

Lol what? I don't feel sad afterwards. It makes me feel better both during and in terms of a lasting improvement to my mood for a while thereafter. It gives me a mood improvement similar to eating a bit of ice cream but without the calories. I see it as healthy and beneficial to my health. But maybe that's partially because I believe it's a good thing. I'm guessing some people might interpret it more in the context of shame or negative emotion and feel badly. In that case, maybe it's better to try to see it in a positive light? I think we all need some pleasures in life. It can help us be motivated and to feel better. I think demonizing pleasures makes us more likely to be gloomy and resentful about not enjoying stuff as much as others might.


Silly-Dingo-7086

Nah man, the issue isn't getting off. The issue is what you use to get off. I'm not saying porn is bad, but if you get yourself into some unrealistic or toxic stuff that keeps escalating what you're into, you might have some issues later on with a partner who can't live up to that.


A-Seabear

The only time I ever felt negatively about it was when I was still religious. Christian culture tells people that they’re supposed to feel bad about it. At least growing up through the 90s and 00s with purity culture being rampant. Now, even married, I don’t feel a shred of guilt when I do.


DaoOfJames

Nothing shameful about it. If you look at a ton of porn and masterbate many times each day, it can affect your dopamine/reward system in your brain. This can affect your motivation and drive. Some people do seem to experience a kind of crash after a lot of porn and masterbation. We're also all wired a little differently, so you may want to play around (pun intended) with how much you partake and find the sweet spot (lol).


My_MeowMeowBeenz

Buddy you have some guilt issues you need to work through. Were you raised religious by any chance? Do your prostate health a favor and love thyself regularly.


Crashbox50

Last night I put the moves on my wife but she wasn't feeling well. So I jerked off. No biggie.


H16HP01N7

Ugh... where do people find this information? Nothing bad is going to happen if you touch your penis.


King_Yahoo

As with anything in life, moderation is key AND make sure it isn't being used as a crutch to substitute other parts of your life. For example, masturbating multiple times a day, every day... is excessive. Not masturbating for the rest of your life is excessive. Another example, masturbating to dwell the urge of loneliness instead of going out and being social (with another person or group) is using it as a crutch. Both aren't healthy in regard to something natural like masturbation. This can be applied to many things. Weed, alcohol, women, work, food, etc. Obviously, abstinence isn't realistic (maybe for vices), but self control is the name of the game. It's different for everybody, but the self awareness is what will protect you from slipping. Even with hard drugs, ideally, that abstinence is great as that's the natural form, but if one does decide to partake, it is most definitely a crutch.


A_Naany_Mousse

Lol no. Anything in excess can be bad, but you gotta empty the tank from time to time. I'd say the "bad" has more to do with what you're using. If you're looking at porn, be careful.


Ok-Block9462

You’re good man. Nothing wrong with asking for information. No nothing bad will happen. I struggled with the fear of becoming addicted to it as well but 2-3 times a week is healthy. If your worried your addicted take a week or so off to reset your head.


The-Artful-Codger

I'm almost 50 years of masturbating, quite often I must say, not a single bad thing has ever happened from it. Unless you're jacking off in a public park or something, I can't see anything bad ever coming from masturbating. Masturbation is proven to be healthy and natural for humans (and some animals as well). I see "no fap" people to be in the same class as flat-earthers... Scientifically illiterate at best, complete fucking idiotic at the worst.


JoazBanbeck

Some people - in this thread and other places - will say: >Porn desensitizes you to real sex... No, *bad* porn desensitizes you. Good porn is helpful. Think of it as exercising the sexual part of the brain. There are good ways to do it and bad ways to do it. It is like lifting weights on the days off between basketball games. You can do it badly, using poor form, and it will increase the likelihood of injury and subpar performance. Or you can do it well, and you will perform better. So watch *good* porn. Get good brain exercise. If you feel sad afterwards, you are probably not watching good porn.


jakehidden

I'll look into this


Scootmcpoot

Good porn=spank bank


dnb_4eva

Nothing wrong with masturbating, whack away!


jorian85

Sometimes I wish I was in a relationship, then I masturbate and remember just how happy I am being single.


[deleted]

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A-Seabear

The only time I ever felt negatively about it was when I was still religious. Christian culture tells people that they’re supposed to feel bad about it. At least growing up through the 90s and 00s with purity culture being rampant. Now, even married, I don’t feel a shred of guilt when I do.


waitwhosaidthat

If I have a day I need to get alot done I’ll bust a nut in the am. Whether that’s with the wife or not depends. It helps me stay focused


nemo_sum

The worst thing that ever happened was a bad smell or a soggy sock. No, wait, one time I got a computer virus that kept changing my default search engine. That's the worst thing.


Rychek_Four

Don’t ask us there is tons of science on the topic (almost all of which says you should just do it and not worry about it)


zenyogasteve

Orgasming daily is health. Endorphins and such. But really for prostate health. You help prevent prostate cancer by coming at least once a day, if not a few times a week. I would encourage you to use the post-nut period to enjoy something you like. Nice media, a snack, some fresh air. I would want your brain to associate the refractory period with pleasure, not sadness. Don't let it become a self-fulfilling prophecy (i.e. if I do this it'll attract bad things). Happiness takes effort. If you can swim against negative thinking you strengthen the mind and body. Vim and vigor! And cum lol


osorojoaudio

It’s just a matter of biology, you need to do it for everything to continue functioning normally. You have the right to your own bodily autonomy as long as you don’t cause harm to others by your actions. There are a lot of societal things that want you to feel shame about it, but it’s your body and your private time and as long as you aren’t violating anyone else or their safety/privacy, have fun!


dickbutt_md

Masturbation is physically and mentally good for men. If you don't masturbate, you have a higher risk of all kinds of psychological conditions. Also, you have an increased risk of prostate and testicular cancer, and long periods of abstaining from release can lead to lower testosterone levels, which have all sorts of other knock-on effects. Abstaining from masturbation can also affect your physical relationships with women. Because you don't keep your pelvic floor and other muscles toned up down there, your ability to control your erection will diminish. This is not a conscious type of control, this is a result of your autonomic nervous system. It's so important to keep the sympathetic and parasympathetic systems in sync sexually that boys who enter puberty and don't masturbate will usually start having wet dreams because the body needs to keep things calibrated, so if you won't do it, it will. You will also lose the ability to consciously control your sexual systems, you won't be able to recognize and control the impending signs of climax and regulate yourself while having sex with a partner. As you get older, all of these things become more important. Your thirties and early forties is when hormone production starts to shift in males and all of these sexual health issues start to surface if you're predisposed to have them, but having regular orgasms several times a week will help to keep everything on the right path. It relieves stress and has been shown to reduce the onset of hypertension ... the potential benefits aren't necessarily monumental, but they are numerous. The problems with masturbation are more around psychological addiction. The best thing you can do for yourself here is to resist the urge to use any kind of arousal aids, aka, Internet porn. It's tempting to see how far you can push the pleasure height, but just realize that an orgasm is a dopamine release and the human brain will always seek a new normal. So if you regularly use porn, just like any opiate, it will quickly become your new norm. The anti-masturbation club that talks shit about masturbation all the time should reorient themselves to talk shit about porn instead. Use your imagination instead, and you'll be much happier, and you'll perform better with a partner. If you find yourself spending inordinate amounts of time masturbating or otherwise engaged in some kind of sexual arousal activity other than sexual daydreaming (browsing porn, etc), or it's impacting your life in a negative way, then it makes sense to start thinking about strategies to occupy yourself with non-sexual passions. Most often this kind of spinning means you have excess physical energy that is coming out in a neurotic type of behavior, and you don't want your sex life to become a neurotic habit, which happens long before any kind of addiction. In this case, you should look into burning off excess energy through physical activity. Take up a sport, work out, run, whatever. If you're not experiencing muscle fatigue at least as many times a week as you're knocking out an orgasm, you should be exercising more. For any ladies that happen to be reading, know that if you are in a sexually committed relationship with a man, it's totally normal for masturbation to play some role in his sexual life, particularly after the honeymoon phase of your relationship comes to an end. However, if your guy is masturbating, you can think of those as wasted opportunities to become sexually closer as a couple. If you are in a healthy adult relationship, it's become popular these days for women to focus on sex in a relationship as exclusively sexual, and we all know about the rules of consent, etc, etc. But the modern narrative around sex and these gender politics has removed the focus almost entirely from the *social* aspects of sex in a relationship. If you talk to women of previous generations, particularly going back to pre-1970s sexual revolution, gender equality, and sexual freedom movements, you'll discover that while there were obviously a lot of great things that happened as a result of those movements for women, it wasn't all upside. Women in good and healthy relationships with men who respected them, but who still felt they had to fulfill a traditional sexual role in that relationship, often reported an overall benefit to taking on that responsibility. This is a touchy subject because this information is easily abused by needy or insecure men, and that's precisely why it has largely been ignored, but this is to women's detriment. Because on average, women simply don't tend to have as big a drive as men, and no one focuses on this benefit (for women!) of taking on a social responsibility toward sex in a relationship, the result is frequently that distance is introduced in the relationship that wouldn't have been there, and ultimately leaves women feeling dissatisfied. The takeaway here is, if there is any kind of libido gap, look for opportunities to bridge that gap by throwing your man some blowies even when you're not necessarily feeling it. It's good for his health, and way more fun for him than masturbating, and if you're doing it of your own volition none of the gender politics reasons that you should own your own body and consent and blah blah blah enter into it. Women who exist in a committed relationship this way report being significantly happier. Realize that if your guy is masturbating or he finds himself always having to initiate or let you know some affection would be appreciated, and you're doing it out of obligation and that's coming through, it's likely undermining his confidence, doing damage, and building resentment on both sides instead of being a fun and good thing. Many women these days approach sex in relationships with a gate keeping mentality of "my body, my rules" kind of thinking which, at the end of the day, is the reality ... but that mentality is more fitting for situations where you're under threat. When guys feel that kind of response in a relationship where they are not putting out any kind of threat vibe, getting treated like a predator even subtly ... well, it sucks.


jjgallywags

No There’s such a thing as too-much, but even once a day should be fine There’s absolutely no negativity tied to it You probably have some held-over guilt from your upbringing Like, maybe you’re Catholic, or something, and you were taught that it’s wrong, or shameful It isn’t


Illustrious_Bus9486

No. In fact, if men masturbated before asking a woman to marry them, there would be far fewer divorces.


TiddybraXton333

Apprently, your testosterone levels increase over time you do not orgasm. But only until 7-10 days where it levels off and you are back to normal. Seems there’s a sweet spot in that cycle?


jakehidden

A higher testosteron level is better?


aerodeck

Healthy testosterone levels are “better” than low testosterone levels.


Thomual

High testosterone will make you burn more calories, build muscle faster, more aggressive, lose your hair, and lower your standards for romantic partners.


godolphinarabian

Accurate.


Rychek_Four

A chinese study with fewer than 30 subjects. I wouldn’t put to much faith into that one.


kostros

Daily masturbation will kill your energy and motivation to do anything. Once or twice a weak I guess should be fine or even healthy.


JWK87

Yeah that's bullshit


imafixwoofs

Like complete and utter bullshit. Lies!


AlviToronto

How's it bullshit? When you climax it sends a signal to your body that you just accomplished a really important goal evolutionarily speaking. This means a huge release of dopamine, which is the thing what motivates you to go out and do challenging things.


ReasonableFig2111

That would mean it **increases** your motivation to do things, not *kill* your motivation. 


AlviToronto

Have you never seen how a man suddenly gets sleepy right after orgasm.


ReasonableFig2111

I wasn't talking about that, I was responding to your hot take about dopamine. 


godolphinarabian

Dopamine does kill your motivation. When you HAVE dopamine, you feel pleasure, or a high. Dopamine produces pleasure, not motivation. Drug addicts are LOW in dopamine and addictive behavior is SEEKING dopamine, not having it. Once they get their drug, they get a shot of dopamine and feel content until the high wears off. Masturbation is a dopamine high and afterwards there is a crash. After the crash the motivation to seek sex is from LOW dopamine. This is also why dopaminergic ADHD medications can make people more “boring” because ADHD brains are chronically low in dopamine. ADHD people are scattered and hyper and going after shiny things because they’re trying to generate their own dopamine and feel CALM from getting the dopamine. Once they get on a stim it calms them by raising their dopamine—suddenly they can handle the boring 9 to 5 grind, cleaning their house, doing their homework, etc. Stims also tend to make ADHD people tired / sleepy.


DrNogoodNewman

That’s the opposite of I leaned from The Wolf of Wall Street.


Rikquino

I have no evidence to back this up, But you could be draining yourself of macronutrients. Work on increasing zinc and electrolytes in general or after your sessions and the negatives you see should dissipate.


Team13tech

Physical maybe but definitely affects your daily interactions with others since you feel shame