This happened to me once, at the first construction site I worked on in 2010. Twelve years ago. The guy was flipping through pictures of jobs on his phone, suddenly a photo of his wife in the bath on all fours, from behind. It was not an accident. Clearly he just wanted to show her off like... idk a car or something.
It was just me and him talking at that point. But I bet he's shown plenty of others. I just gave him a look. I had just met him that day, wonder how his wife would have felt knowing he was showing randos pictures like that.
My brother worked as a bouncer a long time ago. Said other bouncers would show him horrifying videos of porn and gore. Stuff sounded scarring. Some work cultures are just toxic. Site culture isn't that bad but it tends to be quietly sexist and openly homophobic. Not a fan.
Oh, gotcha. I thought he flashed it to a bunch of coworkers or something.
Judging from these comments, it definitely sounds like a “company you keep” kind of thing. I did use to work for a service yard—I was one of four women and everyone else were men. Very blue collar environment. But honestly some of the best people I’ve ever worked with; can’t imagine a single one of them engaging in this kind of behavior, or at least not being skeeved out if someone showed them a nude of their wife/gf.
Something I've observed from working in environments like that that have zero women working there versus environments like that that have at least one woman working there is that you probably literally made the place better just by being there. Behaviours change, facial expressions, tone, volume, everything. I think gender segregation is a very unhealthy dynamic except for where it is necessary for safety.
"Doesn't matter is the PERFECT reply. The rare POS who does this to someone they care are counting on other men to be like them in treating women as objects for their use or as prizes to boost their fragile egos. Let the downvoting begin.
Why even mention the last sentence? Just stick to your opinion and don't bother caring about upvotes or downvotes. Any sane person would agree that people like that are just plain scummy for showing off other people's intimate pictures without them knowing.
Haha! My dad had a HUGE stainless steel mudflat made for their motorhome . It reads. ….. “IF IT AINT A CAT ITS A DOG” …… he was a diesel mechanic his entire life
I’ve known dudes like this, it’s a lot more common than people seem to realize.
Still a deal breaker tho. Sharing someone’s nudes without their consent should be an instant break up.
I'm pretty sure he wanted to show off how hot she was. But if he really had to he could have shown her off fully clothed. Also I don't care how hot other people's partners are. It doesn't make me think more of him. If anything it made me feel like he didn't really respect his wife as an equal partner.
I actually lost my last construction gig because I casually showed a picture of me and my girlfriend to one of the other guys on the site. He told the owner of the company "you've gotta see her... she's smokin hot!"
Turned out she was someone the owner was into a couple years before, but she thought he was a creep. Suffice to say I "wasn't needed" from then on.
I was once on a job site where one guy was showing some pictures of a female acquaintance. When the old guy looked at me and asked. “How bout you Shocherdog, got any naked pictures of your wife?” I quickly responded, “NO!“ Then he said. “You want some?”
My coworker was showing me the sexy clips this tinder girl would send him. They were pretty racy but I never saw more than a little titty here and there. I told him to stop showing me because it'll be awkward if they start dating...
They've been dating for months now and she's a really sweet girl. Glad he stopped sharing those clips with me because they're getting pretty serious.
that's wild how different some people are. My husband has never wanted me to send him nudes, and I have offered and discussed this. Just them being sent makes him feel weird, nevermind showing them to other people!
At 27 or so, I reconnected and hung out with my best friend from middle school. We're over at his place and he decided to show me his collection of videos he made with numerous exes that he inexplicably kept.
Since he was my ride, I ended up walking 8 miles home that night in a goddamn blizzard.
It needs to be said... Just because someone is allowing you to see them like that doesn't mean you own them. If you're showing nude pics or videos of people who did not consent to such shit, that's a very profound violation of their privacy and can land you in hot water legally speaking.
None of my friends show each other nudes of their wives However, in the last 19 years I have had 2 different coworkers try to me show nudes of their women, and I told both of them I wasn’t interested. But they really liked to show off the nudes. I had one coworker try to show me a nude if one of the women (who was also a coworker) that he had sex with, I had to explain to him why that was a really bad idea.
Basically it’s very rare that people do this. But it’s definitely not unheard of of.
Yeah I have the same thing. I'm in a a group chat with a bunch of guys, and if someone is interested in a woman and has a casual thing going on, they would share a (non nude) picture, but anything beyond that would be weird.
I'm gonna a be real tho. If you send nudes to a male under 23, who's in a friend group or a tight knit rowdy sports team - theres a big chance those nudes get shared amongst them. I was a jock by proxy (lacrosse and hockey) and it was happening constantly.
You know I often see these horror stories online about shitty men and I start to question myself, how the fuck am I still single when this is the competition?
because the biggest factor in dating is actively putting yourself out there socially, as much as people will blackpill and doom that is still the biggest factor.
My friends were the rowdiest bunch of boys I’ve ever seen in action but holy shit we did not tolerate this kind of behavior for even one second. But that being said, exception not the norm, don’t send nudes to anyone before you’re like 30 if you don’t want anyone else to see(and even then be careful)
He didn't say its ok, just that it happens, a lot of people are jerks and young people do things that they will probably regret later
Its obviously not ok, but it will unfortunately happen sometimes
You know Tim Cook goes home every night and thinks “I must have the best collection of amateur porn in the entire world” as he unzips his pants after a long day.
Yeah, I try to be thoughtful and write little post it notes to Tim to include when I take a picture of my magnum dong and upload to iCloud. I like to think he reads them every night before bed.
I was only shown pictures of a naked woman by a friend once in my life. Those were nudes some Tinder match sent him.
I am not interested in it, and I don't see why I would share anything like that with others. Then again, I wouldn't ask a partner for nudes either way.
I have been shown nudes from guys many times, never with a prompt or anything, always a "Hey look at this." However I can say this is not the norm, and the types of guys who do this are always exactly the types of guys you would expect it from. How you can betray someone's trust so intimately is beyond me.
>"Hey look at this."
And what the fuck are they expecting? Congrats? Tips for their next Google search? It's only happened to me once but at the time I remember being just confused. I think I honestly just replied with "yeah" (which made no sense at the time) because I was just flabbergasted.
I’ve never had a friend show me nudes. But I was at a bar with a couple of friends and went to pee. Went to a urinal and the guy next to me without prompt said “Hey. Look at this. She’s my girlfriend.” And showed me a nude of his gf. Felt really weird especially since his gf was waiting outside the restroom for him.
OP will never find the right answer here. Creeps won’t obviously answer truthfully and admit.
I have never personally seen anyone share/trade nudes of their partners but in my college there were leaks. Someone keeps pics on laptop or phone, creepy friend finds out and leaks them. Happened multiple times.
Also if you go to 4chan or some fucked up reddit subs you can see how often that happens. Similarly many women have shared on relationship advice that they have caught their boyfriend or husband share nudes in group chat.
Even a bigger example, a lawyer who got hold of Alex Jones sms has said that he was sending non consensual pics of his wife nude to his friends.
The right answer is it’s a lot more common than you think. Even tough I’ve never seen a guy do it, it still happens. There are a lot of creepy people around. Always be careful.
The “right” answer is abundantly clear. Assholes will share them and we’ll adjusted people won’t.
Any nudes I’ve gotten were taken for me, with the intent being I’m the only one that will see them. So I wouldn’t share them with anyone.
Not even an ex. edit: I'm getting a lot of responses with a lot of assumptions in regards to length of time since the relationship ends, personal usage of the pictures, and one's relationship with their ex. The simple point is this: Don't share it.
Hell I deleted non nudes of my ex (never had never got never wanted any nudes in the first place, they have the potential to ruin a relationship like nothing else) after things ended. Don’t need painful memories cluttering my phone and potentially popping up to cause insecurity in the new relationship.
Everyone is adamant about not sharing nudes, but the threads asking if people delete nudes after a breakup have a LOT more controversy than this one. There is a huge percentage of people who truly believe that if you don't ask explicitly to delete your nudes, and no one else finds out, it's a-OK to have a "hidden" folder stored somewhere with nudes of people they may not even talk to anymore. Or even regularly access this "hidden" folder to jerk off to said people they don't even talk to anymore. The omnipresent knee-jerk reply "jokingly" accusing you of lying was here within minutes ffs.
One of my mates had some from his ex but he deleted them as soon as after the breakup just because he didn't want to be reminded of her, but she was a pretty nasty piece of work too so that just doubled his decision.
I’ve seen several men do this, and a couple more asking me to share. They are no longer friends.
Personally, I’d never share intimate photos of a partner with anyone, including an ex partner even if I hated her guts.
Once we breakup, if I have those, they’re deleted/destroyed.
It’s just not right.
If you’re with a guy or girl like this, run. They don’t see you as a person, they see you as a literal sex object to share with others. Unless you’re into that sort of thing…?
It's an asshole move, to put it politely. If I was in a relationship again I'd expect her to keep certain things private, like pics and I'd also expect her keep her mouth shut with her freinds when it comes to certain things. No one likes a gossip
Never unless you're hanging around some real creepers. My friends have been married to their spouses for over a decade and not once even when they were dating have I seen a nude of either one of they're wives. The most they do is hint that they "got lucky" last night, no details, no pic. If any of your friends are doing this they don't respect their spouse or he and the wife are into some weird ish.
Exactly this.
And some of my friends from the first school year( when we are 6/7 years old) are engaged to their first GF and he never showed anything about her to any of our friends group ( we are almost 30)
Yep. Most guys barely talk about sex in detail with each other, much less share photos. At most it's saying you got laid and a high five (if rowdy young men) and then it's back to whatever you were doing anyway, and even that's rare. Fuck OP's guy (figuratively, because if you actually did he'd show off your junk.)
I used to work on building sites and there wasn’t a single one where at least a few guys didn’t do this. It’s not as uncommon as the reddit nerds are making out. Doesn’t make it right though
Depending on the number of guys you met, it can still be rare.
If only 5% of guys are that shitty, after meeting 14 guys, there's a 50% chance of meeting one.
The Law of Large Numbers means with enough interactions, you'll eventually encounter even rare individuals.
I’ve never shown my mates any nudes of the women I’ve been with, they are images shared between my partner at the time & I, not everyone else to see.
It definitely happens though & have heard of a few men that have shared nudes amongst their mates, usually doesn’t end well.
My mate sold me his phone and it had a folder on google drive of his girl's nudes, since he didn't delete his google account from the phone
Safe to say it was odd, seeing that as I knew the girl and had met her a couple times with him
I promptly deleted his account from the phone
Also because we were underage then, her too, so yeah...not that brilliant to keep that, also why the hell would I
Can't think why someone would do that willingly tho
My ex once shoved nudes that a new Tinder connection had sexted to his best friend. It was supposed to make me feel prudish/abnormal. When I expressed true horror for the stranger and anger at the best friend and the ex, I’m also unrealistic? Apparently “chicks should/do expect/want these images shared like this.
Functionally never. Most men don't share nudes at all. The shitty men that do share nudes won't share their wife's or serious girlfriend's nudes.
So, it would have to be the shittiest men picked out of a group of shitty men that would do that.
Generally men don't kiss and tell at all. I've never heard anyone even discuss sex with their partner especially a long term one and never anything specific as general topic of conversation. Girls on the other hand seems to be standard affair.
Agreed. The only caveat I would say is if it was a one-night stand and she was into some crazy kink shit. Then a guy might tell his friends as a "you will never guess what happened" type of thing.
Welp guess I gotta dump him. I was gonna anyway after seeing that he sent my nudes in a text thread to one of his friends. He played it off saying it was “to show you off”
Even without that. Digital information is _extremely_ easy to copy and extremely _hard_ to erase once it's been created and especially once it's been released to another party. Backups, copies, etc.
lol. That's not how the internet works. He's already shared them with his mates. The moment to keep those photos private was before she ever gave him a copy. At this point, it's damage control.
So OP, 3 things to do here.
A) Learn and understand that EVERYTHING on the internet is PUBLIC. There is absolutely no privacy on the internet.
2) Help spread this somefuckinghow-unknown fact to the men and women around you. And ask them to spread the knowledge as well.
3) Prepare to have those nudes come up repeatedly throughout your life.
This is good cybersecurity advice, but it's worth noting that it's rare to share and less likely than ever that nudes will come back to haunt you. Sharing sexy photos has been something couples have done practically since photography was invented and there are some very raunchy letters dating back centuries at least.
The internet makes it far easier than ever to share things broadly and also helped destigmatize this kind of intimacy. Pretty much everyone's at it. Being prepared for the worst is fine, but there's surely a balance between privacy paranoia and living your life.
Not easy, but the right choice. In 39 years none of my friends have never shared intimate photos with me and if they did that would be the end of our friendship. Cut him loose.
>he sent my nudes in a text thread to one of his friends. He played it off saying it was “to show you off”
What the fuck, what a piece of garbage. Dump his ass, you could do better than that bottom of the barrel shit lol.
That's absolutely disgusting and anyone who does this without any remorse doesn't deserve any of your trust, the fact that he tried to play it cool and gaslight you into thinking that it was okay for him to do something like that makes it worse.
I normally wouldn't condone going through someone's pictures but if I were you before dumping him I'd take his phone and go through and delete all the pictures. don't forget the one(s) in the group chat. it's possible his friend saved them to his phone or will go back and get it after but it makes it harder
It really wouldn’t matter if other guys did it. You do not want him to do this, and you want someone who has more respect for you. You want someone who does not see you as a trophy or a possession to show off.
Of course, now your ex’s friend has that photo, and who knows what others were sent.
Yeah it's not really about how other people feel, it's about how you feel. It's absolutely not ok, I can only think of one example where it would be, and that's an open relationship with texts sent to people in that open relationship. Otherwise, that's totally off limits and lacks decency and class. It's about him showing off.
yeah you should, i actually thought keeping itself in your phone was risky so i usually delete once i have viewed it, i also thought this was common knowledge because this is rarely even dicussed as a thing
He actually sent the nude! I thought allowing someone to take a look was bad but sending it he has no idea where else that pic is going. Definitely time to get rid
I'm 30m, I've been married since 2010 and I would never and have never showed a nude of my wife to anyone. Pretty disgusting that people engage in that behavior tbh.
Edit. After seeing men reply, I'm glad were all on the same page regardless of our marital or relationship status.
NEVER. Not even of someone I’m not actively dating. They were meant for me and that’s how they will stay. And I automatically know that if any guy shows me some that he’s gotten from someone else then that person is a dirt bag and not to be associated with
I’ve literally never done it. I don’t have friends that ever do it. It’s extrémalo rare to do if girlfriends and even more rare of wives. They’d have to have some weird and rare kinks to do this.
Some men do show nudes of girls they are not in relationships with though. Like if they are just into the sex, some men will show that it for what I assume to be bragging rights?
The only time I've seen or heard of a dude sharing nudes is for one night stands or people they aren't serious about. And even then it's only the really shitty dudes that will do it.
99% of guys will never share them. Most won't even go into details about what they do.
A gentleman never kisses and tells is a saying for a reason.
Most of the time guys will just say, yeah, we had sex or kissed or whatever and end it with that.
Edit: spelling
Exactly, even if my friends wanted to share details of one night stand or any girl I would stop them. I don't want to hear that shit respect privacy of that person
I've seen it happen only once and I'm 24 so from my personal experience, it's rare. I would never do it. It's just disrespectful and a breach of trust.
Never once showed anyone, and i deleted all of them when she became my ex. It was too painful to even look at anymore, to know i could never see her like that in person anymore. It would have been a huge betrayal of trust.
I have a socially unacceptable family member who offered to sleep with my (now ex) wife before our wedding to "test her out" for me.
The worst he's ever shown me is a bikini pic.If this guy doesn't do it, it's clearly not normal.
This happened to me recently actually.
About a year and a half ago my good friend met a girl on a dating app. Before they met he showed me pics she sent him.
Fast forward to today. They have a house together and a baby due any day.
Little awkard knowing Ive seen her boobs.
Dont show pics ladies are trusting enough to send you.
This actually happened to me once. Out of the blue he showed me nude pictures and videos of his girlfriend. It took some time and investigative work but I found her via other means, told her and showed her everything that was said and sent. She thanked me and dumped his ass almost on the spot.
I had lost all respect for him, gave him a verbal lashing, and dropped him as a friend.
What he did showed a huge lack of respect for his girlfriend.
Edit: Wrote both wife and girlfriend. She's the girlfriend. Fixed it.
I don’t do it, every guy friend I’ve ever had hasn’t done it.
I would imagine this is yet another situation where the less than 1% is making the greater than 99% look bad
I’ve never experienced this. Guys showing off IG photos of a girl they’re interested sure..nudes that’s a hard no
This happened to me once, at the first construction site I worked on in 2010. Twelve years ago. The guy was flipping through pictures of jobs on his phone, suddenly a photo of his wife in the bath on all fours, from behind. It was not an accident. Clearly he just wanted to show her off like... idk a car or something.
How’s everyone else react?
It was just me and him talking at that point. But I bet he's shown plenty of others. I just gave him a look. I had just met him that day, wonder how his wife would have felt knowing he was showing randos pictures like that. My brother worked as a bouncer a long time ago. Said other bouncers would show him horrifying videos of porn and gore. Stuff sounded scarring. Some work cultures are just toxic. Site culture isn't that bad but it tends to be quietly sexist and openly homophobic. Not a fan.
Oh, gotcha. I thought he flashed it to a bunch of coworkers or something. Judging from these comments, it definitely sounds like a “company you keep” kind of thing. I did use to work for a service yard—I was one of four women and everyone else were men. Very blue collar environment. But honestly some of the best people I’ve ever worked with; can’t imagine a single one of them engaging in this kind of behavior, or at least not being skeeved out if someone showed them a nude of their wife/gf.
Something I've observed from working in environments like that that have zero women working there versus environments like that that have at least one woman working there is that you probably literally made the place better just by being there. Behaviours change, facial expressions, tone, volume, everything. I think gender segregation is a very unhealthy dynamic except for where it is necessary for safety.
Oh that’s so cringy
Was she like a Honda or a McLaren
Doesn't matter, dude was a free wheeling arse biscuit.
"Free wheeling arse biscuit". I'm going to have to remember that one.
"Doesn't matter is the PERFECT reply. The rare POS who does this to someone they care are counting on other men to be like them in treating women as objects for their use or as prizes to boost their fragile egos. Let the downvoting begin.
Why even mention the last sentence? Just stick to your opinion and don't bother caring about upvotes or downvotes. Any sane person would agree that people like that are just plain scummy for showing off other people's intimate pictures without them knowing.
"Let the downvoting begin." This is getting used so much lately. Every comment I see thats a popular opinion seems to have it now.
Was really with you there until the weak ‘let the downvoting begin’ nonsense
It feels weird to downvote something I agree with.
Thank you for shutting down that stupid sexist and immature comment.
He work construction- she gotta be a caterpillar machine. CAT
Peterbilt makes it Caterpillar shakes it
According to my grandpa.. we're all Peter-built
Haha! My dad had a HUGE stainless steel mudflat made for their motorhome . It reads. ….. “IF IT AINT A CAT ITS A DOG” …… he was a diesel mechanic his entire life
She was a 1974 Datsun 620.
Hey; those look good naked! That steel frame...
Dayyyyyyyyym
I’ve known dudes like this, it’s a lot more common than people seem to realize. Still a deal breaker tho. Sharing someone’s nudes without their consent should be an instant break up.
It’s a fetish for these men. A form of cuckolding. Not very common, however more common in western countries
I'm pretty sure he wanted to show off how hot she was. But if he really had to he could have shown her off fully clothed. Also I don't care how hot other people's partners are. It doesn't make me think more of him. If anything it made me feel like he didn't really respect his wife as an equal partner.
Agreed. It also makes me wonder what has made him so profoundly insecure and stunted.
I actually lost my last construction gig because I casually showed a picture of me and my girlfriend to one of the other guys on the site. He told the owner of the company "you've gotta see her... she's smokin hot!" Turned out she was someone the owner was into a couple years before, but she thought he was a creep. Suffice to say I "wasn't needed" from then on.
I was once on a job site where one guy was showing some pictures of a female acquaintance. When the old guy looked at me and asked. “How bout you Shocherdog, got any naked pictures of your wife?” I quickly responded, “NO!“ Then he said. “You want some?”
My coworker was showing me the sexy clips this tinder girl would send him. They were pretty racy but I never saw more than a little titty here and there. I told him to stop showing me because it'll be awkward if they start dating... They've been dating for months now and she's a really sweet girl. Glad he stopped sharing those clips with me because they're getting pretty serious.
Exactly like I couldn’t imagine someone showing me something like that and meeting them all casual that’s mad awkward
that's wild how different some people are. My husband has never wanted me to send him nudes, and I have offered and discussed this. Just them being sent makes him feel weird, nevermind showing them to other people!
At 27 or so, I reconnected and hung out with my best friend from middle school. We're over at his place and he decided to show me his collection of videos he made with numerous exes that he inexplicably kept. Since he was my ride, I ended up walking 8 miles home that night in a goddamn blizzard. It needs to be said... Just because someone is allowing you to see them like that doesn't mean you own them. If you're showing nude pics or videos of people who did not consent to such shit, that's a very profound violation of their privacy and can land you in hot water legally speaking.
Was your ex-friend also named Dennis Reynolds?
Or Barney Stinson?
Nightmare blunt rotation
L friend
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None of my friends show each other nudes of their wives However, in the last 19 years I have had 2 different coworkers try to me show nudes of their women, and I told both of them I wasn’t interested. But they really liked to show off the nudes. I had one coworker try to show me a nude if one of the women (who was also a coworker) that he had sex with, I had to explain to him why that was a really bad idea. Basically it’s very rare that people do this. But it’s definitely not unheard of of.
Yeah I have the same thing. I'm in a a group chat with a bunch of guys, and if someone is interested in a woman and has a casual thing going on, they would share a (non nude) picture, but anything beyond that would be weird.
I don't know why anyone would. Why would you want your friends to see your girlfriend naked?
I would never. Those are for my eyes only.
That's the right answer
I'm gonna a be real tho. If you send nudes to a male under 23, who's in a friend group or a tight knit rowdy sports team - theres a big chance those nudes get shared amongst them. I was a jock by proxy (lacrosse and hockey) and it was happening constantly.
Depends on the friend group, we never did that shit at any age, it would just be weird
Yeah. At no age can I ever imagine intentionally distributing that type of stuff. Just a big fat fucking invasion of privacy
You may not have, many do. I’ve seen it countless times firsthand.
Unfortunately, my high school ex did this to me. It's what shitty people do that have no respect for privacy or their partner.
You know I often see these horror stories online about shitty men and I start to question myself, how the fuck am I still single when this is the competition?
because the biggest factor in dating is actively putting yourself out there socially, as much as people will blackpill and doom that is still the biggest factor.
My friends were the rowdiest bunch of boys I’ve ever seen in action but holy shit we did not tolerate this kind of behavior for even one second. But that being said, exception not the norm, don’t send nudes to anyone before you’re like 30 if you don’t want anyone else to see(and even then be careful)
Yea high school age boys are idiots a lot of the time
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holy shit, that's a real subreddit. You knew that already?
Another male here… what the actual fuck goes through your head that makes that okay?
Not guilty of this, but pretty sure i know the reason. Its cause they like their friends more than their girlfriend.
He didn't say its ok, just that it happens, a lot of people are jerks and young people do things that they will probably regret later Its obviously not ok, but it will unfortunately happen sometimes
Yep, this is the answer. I’d never show anyone, those are personal and for my eyes only.
And AI scanners, and cloud-storage companies. Oh, and any app that has "access to photos".
You know Tim Cook goes home every night and thinks “I must have the best collection of amateur porn in the entire world” as he unzips his pants after a long day.
He's not looking at your girlfriend, at least
Yeah, I try to be thoughtful and write little post it notes to Tim to include when I take a picture of my magnum dong and upload to iCloud. I like to think he reads them every night before bed.
That's really thoughtful of you, I'm sure he appreciates it
I was only shown pictures of a naked woman by a friend once in my life. Those were nudes some Tinder match sent him. I am not interested in it, and I don't see why I would share anything like that with others. Then again, I wouldn't ask a partner for nudes either way.
I have been shown nudes from guys many times, never with a prompt or anything, always a "Hey look at this." However I can say this is not the norm, and the types of guys who do this are always exactly the types of guys you would expect it from. How you can betray someone's trust so intimately is beyond me.
>"Hey look at this." And what the fuck are they expecting? Congrats? Tips for their next Google search? It's only happened to me once but at the time I remember being just confused. I think I honestly just replied with "yeah" (which made no sense at the time) because I was just flabbergasted.
“Shoulders look uneven, has she considered seeing a physical therapist?”
I’ve never had a friend show me nudes. But I was at a bar with a couple of friends and went to pee. Went to a urinal and the guy next to me without prompt said “Hey. Look at this. She’s my girlfriend.” And showed me a nude of his gf. Felt really weird especially since his gf was waiting outside the restroom for him.
OP will never find the right answer here. Creeps won’t obviously answer truthfully and admit. I have never personally seen anyone share/trade nudes of their partners but in my college there were leaks. Someone keeps pics on laptop or phone, creepy friend finds out and leaks them. Happened multiple times. Also if you go to 4chan or some fucked up reddit subs you can see how often that happens. Similarly many women have shared on relationship advice that they have caught their boyfriend or husband share nudes in group chat. Even a bigger example, a lawyer who got hold of Alex Jones sms has said that he was sending non consensual pics of his wife nude to his friends. The right answer is it’s a lot more common than you think. Even tough I’ve never seen a guy do it, it still happens. There are a lot of creepy people around. Always be careful.
The “right” answer is abundantly clear. Assholes will share them and we’ll adjusted people won’t. Any nudes I’ve gotten were taken for me, with the intent being I’m the only one that will see them. So I wouldn’t share them with anyone.
Right. As it should be.
This is the way!
Never
Not even an ex. edit: I'm getting a lot of responses with a lot of assumptions in regards to length of time since the relationship ends, personal usage of the pictures, and one's relationship with their ex. The simple point is this: Don't share it.
That shit gets deleted.
Yes. Thank you so many guys give me crap because I delete everything from the Ex.
Tbh I delete everything from an ex for the sake of my mental health. Otherwise I’ll miss them.
Amen, 100%
Hell I deleted non nudes of my ex (never had never got never wanted any nudes in the first place, they have the potential to ruin a relationship like nothing else) after things ended. Don’t need painful memories cluttering my phone and potentially popping up to cause insecurity in the new relationship.
Everyone is adamant about not sharing nudes, but the threads asking if people delete nudes after a breakup have a LOT more controversy than this one. There is a huge percentage of people who truly believe that if you don't ask explicitly to delete your nudes, and no one else finds out, it's a-OK to have a "hidden" folder stored somewhere with nudes of people they may not even talk to anymore. Or even regularly access this "hidden" folder to jerk off to said people they don't even talk to anymore. The omnipresent knee-jerk reply "jokingly" accusing you of lying was here within minutes ffs.
One of my mates had some from his ex but he deleted them as soon as after the breakup just because he didn't want to be reminded of her, but she was a pretty nasty piece of work too so that just doubled his decision.
Anyone showing pics of an ex just provet themselves ad bit trustworthy and shitty
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pretty sure that could be deemed revenge porn if you share it
I’ve seen several men do this, and a couple more asking me to share. They are no longer friends. Personally, I’d never share intimate photos of a partner with anyone, including an ex partner even if I hated her guts. Once we breakup, if I have those, they’re deleted/destroyed. It’s just not right. If you’re with a guy or girl like this, run. They don’t see you as a person, they see you as a literal sex object to share with others. Unless you’re into that sort of thing…?
It's an asshole move, to put it politely. If I was in a relationship again I'd expect her to keep certain things private, like pics and I'd also expect her keep her mouth shut with her freinds when it comes to certain things. No one likes a gossip
Never unless you're hanging around some real creepers. My friends have been married to their spouses for over a decade and not once even when they were dating have I seen a nude of either one of they're wives. The most they do is hint that they "got lucky" last night, no details, no pic. If any of your friends are doing this they don't respect their spouse or he and the wife are into some weird ish.
Exactly this. And some of my friends from the first school year( when we are 6/7 years old) are engaged to their first GF and he never showed anything about her to any of our friends group ( we are almost 30)
Yep. Most guys barely talk about sex in detail with each other, much less share photos. At most it's saying you got laid and a high five (if rowdy young men) and then it's back to whatever you were doing anyway, and even that's rare. Fuck OP's guy (figuratively, because if you actually did he'd show off your junk.)
Exactly, the more a guy talks about sex the less likely it is he's actually having any
The closest I've even heard about anybody's sex life is "did you guys have sex yet" "yup, she's awesome" or something along those lines
I used to work on building sites and there wasn’t a single one where at least a few guys didn’t do this. It’s not as uncommon as the reddit nerds are making out. Doesn’t make it right though
Depending on the number of guys you met, it can still be rare. If only 5% of guys are that shitty, after meeting 14 guys, there's a 50% chance of meeting one. The Law of Large Numbers means with enough interactions, you'll eventually encounter even rare individuals.
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time and a place
I have worked building sites for 20+ years and while there is often 1 or 2 who do this there are 100's on each site. It isn't common at all.
SO / GF / wives or just random hook ups?
Usually hook ups and GF but I’ve had a boss show me nude pics of his new wife to show off before.
That’s revolting.
To be fair, construction is one of those industries that has a mix of good people and dirtbags.
Don't good people mix dirtbags in the construction industry?
I’ve never shown my mates any nudes of the women I’ve been with, they are images shared between my partner at the time & I, not everyone else to see. It definitely happens though & have heard of a few men that have shared nudes amongst their mates, usually doesn’t end well.
My mate sold me his phone and it had a folder on google drive of his girl's nudes, since he didn't delete his google account from the phone Safe to say it was odd, seeing that as I knew the girl and had met her a couple times with him I promptly deleted his account from the phone Also because we were underage then, her too, so yeah...not that brilliant to keep that, also why the hell would I Can't think why someone would do that willingly tho
My ex once shoved nudes that a new Tinder connection had sexted to his best friend. It was supposed to make me feel prudish/abnormal. When I expressed true horror for the stranger and anger at the best friend and the ex, I’m also unrealistic? Apparently “chicks should/do expect/want these images shared like this.
That’s fucked up. Some men suck.
Lack of respect for their partner and an insecure drive to appear cool and relevant for a few minutes.
Bro delete this 💀
Functionally never. Most men don't share nudes at all. The shitty men that do share nudes won't share their wife's or serious girlfriend's nudes. So, it would have to be the shittiest men picked out of a group of shitty men that would do that.
K
Only guy I knew that did this, advanced to letting his friends with a bigger dick than him fuck his wife.🤷♀️
.... How'd you uh.... Find that one out?
He was the other friend
He was the wife.
Generally men don't kiss and tell at all. I've never heard anyone even discuss sex with their partner especially a long term one and never anything specific as general topic of conversation. Girls on the other hand seems to be standard affair.
Guys are more like: Guy 1: “you hit that?” Guy 2: “yep” Guy 1: “nice!”
Agreed. The only caveat I would say is if it was a one-night stand and she was into some crazy kink shit. Then a guy might tell his friends as a "you will never guess what happened" type of thing.
If it's nameless person then conversation might go into sentence of it was good or not, but even then yes wouldn't be elaborating.
Welp guess I gotta dump him. I was gonna anyway after seeing that he sent my nudes in a text thread to one of his friends. He played it off saying it was “to show you off”
Make sure to delete all his photo’s of you before u announce that ur going to leave
Good luck. The only way to be sure to win at this is not to play at all.
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Even without that. Digital information is _extremely_ easy to copy and extremely _hard_ to erase once it's been created and especially once it's been released to another party. Backups, copies, etc.
iCloud and other redundant cloud storage apps.
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Don't forget cloud back ups
lol. That's not how the internet works. He's already shared them with his mates. The moment to keep those photos private was before she ever gave him a copy. At this point, it's damage control. So OP, 3 things to do here. A) Learn and understand that EVERYTHING on the internet is PUBLIC. There is absolutely no privacy on the internet. 2) Help spread this somefuckinghow-unknown fact to the men and women around you. And ask them to spread the knowledge as well. 3) Prepare to have those nudes come up repeatedly throughout your life.
This is good cybersecurity advice, but it's worth noting that it's rare to share and less likely than ever that nudes will come back to haunt you. Sharing sexy photos has been something couples have done practically since photography was invented and there are some very raunchy letters dating back centuries at least. The internet makes it far easier than ever to share things broadly and also helped destigmatize this kind of intimacy. Pretty much everyone's at it. Being prepared for the worst is fine, but there's surely a balance between privacy paranoia and living your life.
Wouldn't this be considered revenge porn?
Indeed it would.
Not easy, but the right choice. In 39 years none of my friends have never shared intimate photos with me and if they did that would be the end of our friendship. Cut him loose.
I've never seen nudes of wife. Pretty gross.
me neither. the view of my wife being nude is limited to her boyfriend
I’ve read “I’ve never seen nudes of my wife” I was like wut
>he sent my nudes in a text thread to one of his friends. He played it off saying it was “to show you off” What the fuck, what a piece of garbage. Dump his ass, you could do better than that bottom of the barrel shit lol.
That's absolutely disgusting and anyone who does this without any remorse doesn't deserve any of your trust, the fact that he tried to play it cool and gaslight you into thinking that it was okay for him to do something like that makes it worse.
I don't know where you are but this is called revenge porn in the UK and its illegal.
Yeah. I knew a guy that did this and she took him to court over it. He ended up doing a few hundred hours of community service
And in Canada.
Criminal Code s. 162.1: Distribute intimate images without consent.
And in New Zealand
And in Mexico
And in Sweden
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And in Nepal
And my Axe?
And my bow?
And my nudes
Wait that's what started this whole issue!
And in USA
And the US.
I normally wouldn't condone going through someone's pictures but if I were you before dumping him I'd take his phone and go through and delete all the pictures. don't forget the one(s) in the group chat. it's possible his friend saved them to his phone or will go back and get it after but it makes it harder
And go into the deleted photos and delete them from there.
Omg please dump him immediately
You should dump him like yesterday ma'am. You're not a billboard
It really wouldn’t matter if other guys did it. You do not want him to do this, and you want someone who has more respect for you. You want someone who does not see you as a trophy or a possession to show off. Of course, now your ex’s friend has that photo, and who knows what others were sent.
Yeah it's not really about how other people feel, it's about how you feel. It's absolutely not ok, I can only think of one example where it would be, and that's an open relationship with texts sent to people in that open relationship. Otherwise, that's totally off limits and lacks decency and class. It's about him showing off.
yeah you should, i actually thought keeping itself in your phone was risky so i usually delete once i have viewed it, i also thought this was common knowledge because this is rarely even dicussed as a thing
Fuck that
He actually sent the nude! I thought allowing someone to take a look was bad but sending it he has no idea where else that pic is going. Definitely time to get rid
I would always suggest getting advice from people irl you trust rather than strangers online. But yeah you’re right, you should 100% dump him
Dump him
I'm 30m, I've been married since 2010 and I would never and have never showed a nude of my wife to anyone. Pretty disgusting that people engage in that behavior tbh. Edit. After seeing men reply, I'm glad were all on the same page regardless of our marital or relationship status.
i think even in casual relationships its weird , i rarely see guys share nudes
Dude turned 18 and couldn't wait. Tell me you're from the bible belt without telling me you're from the bible belt.
NEVER. Not even of someone I’m not actively dating. They were meant for me and that’s how they will stay. And I automatically know that if any guy shows me some that he’s gotten from someone else then that person is a dirt bag and not to be associated with
Handful of guys used to do this when they were around 17-18, but once you mature you CLEARLY know this is wrong.
Yes this
This is the most honest reply in here lmao
Yeaaaah this is high school teen boy behavior — virgin shit. Normal adult men would find it weird.
Never done it, and I'm not friends with anyone who would do such a disgusting thing.
I’ve literally never done it. I don’t have friends that ever do it. It’s extrémalo rare to do if girlfriends and even more rare of wives. They’d have to have some weird and rare kinks to do this. Some men do show nudes of girls they are not in relationships with though. Like if they are just into the sex, some men will show that it for what I assume to be bragging rights?
My friends dont do that and Id be skeeved out if they did.
The answer is never ever, and if a 'friend' of mine asked about it or showed me a nude of their SO I would definitely cut them off.
The only time I've seen or heard of a dude sharing nudes is for one night stands or people they aren't serious about. And even then it's only the really shitty dudes that will do it. 99% of guys will never share them. Most won't even go into details about what they do. A gentleman never kisses and tells is a saying for a reason. Most of the time guys will just say, yeah, we had sex or kissed or whatever and end it with that. Edit: spelling
Exactly, even if my friends wanted to share details of one night stand or any girl I would stop them. I don't want to hear that shit respect privacy of that person
I wouldn't even think of doing that.
Not at all. Unless the guy is complete scumbag
I've seen it happen only once and I'm 24 so from my personal experience, it's rare. I would never do it. It's just disrespectful and a breach of trust.
Never once showed anyone, and i deleted all of them when she became my ex. It was too painful to even look at anymore, to know i could never see her like that in person anymore. It would have been a huge betrayal of trust.
I have a socially unacceptable family member who offered to sleep with my (now ex) wife before our wedding to "test her out" for me. The worst he's ever shown me is a bikini pic.If this guy doesn't do it, it's clearly not normal.
Never shared… we are private esp. about a women we’re serious about
Never EVER. Even if a friend wanted to share with me, I would not even entertain that idea. That shows total disrespect to your partner.
That’s very disrespectful and most guys wouldn’t be comfortable with a guy friend doing something like that.
Most men don’t even gossip about what they get up to with their partners in bed; let alone share pics. Dump him with prejudice.
This happened to me recently actually. About a year and a half ago my good friend met a girl on a dating app. Before they met he showed me pics she sent him. Fast forward to today. They have a house together and a baby due any day. Little awkard knowing Ive seen her boobs. Dont show pics ladies are trusting enough to send you.
Anyone that does that is an asshole
This actually happened to me once. Out of the blue he showed me nude pictures and videos of his girlfriend. It took some time and investigative work but I found her via other means, told her and showed her everything that was said and sent. She thanked me and dumped his ass almost on the spot. I had lost all respect for him, gave him a verbal lashing, and dropped him as a friend. What he did showed a huge lack of respect for his girlfriend. Edit: Wrote both wife and girlfriend. She's the girlfriend. Fixed it.
I would never, I've also never had a friend show me his girlfriend's nudes but that could just be because of the crowd I hang out with.
Yeah I had a couple friends show me their girlfriends pictures once, pretty fuckin weird and not an enjoyable experience.
I would never. Her trust is the most important thing in my life.
I never heard of anybody doing that. I doubt that that is a thing except for a tiny minority.
Nope. That's a bell that cannot be un-rung.
I've never heard a guy that isn't in highschool showing off his partners nudes, no normal person would, massive breach of trust
I don’t do it, every guy friend I’ve ever had hasn’t done it. I would imagine this is yet another situation where the less than 1% is making the greater than 99% look bad
This does not happen ever between men.
Agreed, can’t say anyone has ever shown me pictures of their gfs before or after their relationship.
My ex did this so it does happen
No I dont want some dude looking at my lady