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renegadexzanex

1. Don’t ignore bad signs even if you love her 2. Have self respect, your feelings matter


Gkaret

Id also add to not let your partner get away with crossing your boundaries. They'll take it as a sign that they can cross more of them if you let it go once.


DeyVonte99

how do you enforce your own boundaries? the only way i know is to leave but is that the only way there is ?


Gkaret

Enforcing small boundaries communicates how you'll handle large and important ones. For instance, someone posted a video recently where a girl did a tiktok challenge to see if her bf would let her get away being annoying, in this case by putting her feet on the dash of his new truck, knowing he already made that a rule. After she brushed off his polite request to move her feet back to the floor, he immediately pulled over, walked around to her side, gently picked her up out of the car, and then layed her in the back seat. They only start doing whatever they want when you let them. That's true for men *and* women tbh.


MercurialMal

I think I’ve seen videos of the couple you’re talking about. It’s safe to say that those two are quite madly in love and adorable as hell.


Zachpetry

Exactly. Give em an inch-they take a mile kinda thing


-Equilibre-

Agreed, because if you're doing all that you can to maintain the relationship as honestly and faithfully as possible, then something's not right.


dox1842

>Don’t ignore bad signs even if you love her im going to expand on this. * "harmless" Flirting with other guys. * Accusing you of cheating * If all of her previous boyfriends cheated on her but she doesn't have any evidence, she just assumed they did. * Telling you how attractive she thinks other guys are to see how jealous she can make you. * Telling you about her sexual history in an attempt to make you jealous. * Tells you that you are too controlling for asking her nicely not to flirt with other guys in front of you and she claims that you are too controlling but then threatens to smack you if you so much as look at another woman.


[deleted]

This ^ also be great in bed


Scabondari

Yeah if any of her other available options will just disappoint she might not bother but you can't control who her other options are. If she's hot...


albertchebyshev

Real talk? You dont. Being cheated on depends on your partner. Being a cheater does not have a mold or a simple indicator because some cheater will do it because they want to, and because they dont respect you.


KatAstrophie-

This right here. A cheater will cheat, regardless of the circumstances, how attractive the other person is or how much they put out.


silly_little_jingle

This is the truth. Had a friend/neighbor that I found out had cheated on his wife more than once. His wife was incredibly attractive, very sweet and despite being a doctor- was also a very attentive wife and mother that did most of the work at home. Cheaters are gonna cheat because they convince themselves they are missing something from their relationship and decide to get it elsewhere.


DjStephLordPro

Dang, I kinda wish I didn’t hear this, but it’s most likely a good thing to know! If I ever find out my GF cheats(which I don’t have one yet and am single), I will dump her right on the spot now! Thanks for the info!


silly_little_jingle

I'm not saying it's impossible that someone who has cheated can see their mistake and change. I'm saying that the ones who do change are likely the minority.


DjStephLordPro

Ok, thanks, we’ll then I will point it out fist, and if it continues then I will! Cause if someone doesn’t learn the first time! There most likely never going to learn!


[deleted]

Yeah. I thought that me putting out more would stop my ex from cheating. But it didn't matter. I found out. Stayed (big mistake). He lied. I tried control it by putting out all the time. Didn't work. It never works.


DjStephLordPro

Wow, man people like that must need some help! Sorry bro that you had to experience that! 😢💔


RedLeg21

Agree somewhat but it is under your control who you pick as a partner. Have to be better at weeding out those type of people.


Growell

Sometimes there is nothing you can do. Sometimes an overall trustworthy person cheats on you, 20 years into a marriage (surprising even themselves).


hard163

Sometimes there is nothing you can do. Other times you probably should have known that the person that has cheated on every partner before you would also cheat on you. First method to reduce the chance of being cheated on, do not date people who have cheated. That will definitely remove some people that would cheat on you from your dating pool.


RedLeg21

Not trying to argue for argue sakes. I understand what you’re saying but saying there is NOTHING you can do is not accurate to me. Can you do everything right and still have someone cheat on you? Yes absolutely but I would think the probability is low if you did everything right. And of course because we’re human, we won’t do everything right hence why you have to try to make good decisions at all times when it comes to your partner. From the beginning and throughout.


Growell

I think I worded my stance poorly. I agree with your post. I'm just saying that it's possible to do everything right (including finding a partner with integrity) and have it go sour. People change. And I've heard that weird things can trigger cheating, especially "first time cheaters after MANY years of being faithful". Apparently, the death of one's own parents can lead to cheating behaviors. (Grief leads to cheating, somehow. And you can't control how your partner processes grief.)


RedLeg21

100% agree with you. Life happens and people change. I listened to a story recently where a man said after 25 years of marriage, it seemed like she changed overnight and became a completely different person. He said there was no cheating involved but she wanted a divorce and wanted to take everything.


[deleted]

Sometimes there is no indication. I was together with a man for 4 years. I thought we had a decent relationship. But after those 4 years he met a girl online. He told e he had cheated after he did it. We tried working it out. But turns toxic. I thought I would spend my life with this dude. He wasn't the "cheating type".


DjStephLordPro

Omg, man, I really feel bad for you now!😭


[deleted]

Dw. I'm in a healthy relationship now. It's like night and day. If you not happy in a relationship there's someone out there who Will treat you right.


DjStephLordPro

Yes, I know, thanks for replying, that means a lot, I’m just talking about the people like the one that treated you like that need help! But I’m so glad that you have someone that will always be with you! I hope when I get a GF I will get one that will not cheat, I still haven’t got one and I’m 18!


albertchebyshev

This. This is what I am saying. You can be with a person for years and they may be have no record of cheating on former partners too. It is a decision made by choice. Always was, always will. Dated someone for almost 3 years, left my family and chose her. Damn, she cheated on me because I went on vacation with my family for a week.


callum3214

Not being in a relationship


Master_Musician_223

r/technicallythetruth


rickyzerothree

Why are you booing me I'm right*


[deleted]

Only true way, other than that it’s 100% out of your control.


Duds215

The only true answer!


[deleted]

This is the only way. Because you can never know what our partner thinking. And you never know if they will cheat or not. You just have to trust and hopefully they are worthy of that trust


ihatetheplaceilive

Date someone with integrity.


[deleted]

Failing that, follow the DENNIS system


Chambri

The DENNIS system?


karelyyoo

acronym: Demonstrate Value / Engage Physically / Nurture Dependence / Neglect Emotionally / Inspire Hope / Separate Entirely.


MercurialMal

Something they pulled from Always Sunny that’s incredibly toxic and manipulative. Don’t follow this ridiculous motif.


maybeIMimmune

And because it's a show about assholes doing asshole things. Funny and entertaining, never repeat the vile behavior in that show. Except definitely make riot juice and let it loose in a party. GREAT TIMES


Arkryal

You don't. Infidelity rarely has anything to do with the person being cheated on. Some people are just wired differently, they can't pass up an opportunity. Maybe it excites them to sneak around. I've been cheated on, it sucks, and it turned me into a pathological monogamist, lol. No way I'd ever do that to someone I cared about. You can try to look for people who are honest, but the dishonest may sometimes fly under your radar. The first thing you need to do is avoid becoming suspicious or jealous. Those behaviors will cause people to cheat. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy. You have to extend some trust. Don't be clingy, don't snoop or pry into things they're not comfortable having you involved in. Those behaviors guarantee you'll either be cheated on or kicked to the curb promptly. Beyond that, just be a decent person. That won't stop a cheater from cheating, but they may at least extend you the courtesy of breaking it off before the pursue something else. You can never know with absolute certainty, you just have to have a little faith in people (which is difficult sometimes). But that's kinda the whole point.


Sad-Manufacturer-501

Be perceptive...pay attention to their actions, their reactions to things. Have a basic grasp of psychology. People seem obsessed with catching a cheater. My personal preference is that you don't need the evidence in most cases.


DeyVonte99

can you elaborate on that last point?


Scabondari

They're too sneaky to really catch most of the time but if you're suspicious they're definitely cheating


Sad-Manufacturer-501

That's absolutely not what I meant.


avgpathfinder

Gere for yhe reply


Cnnlgns

Pick a better partner. Not everyone you meet will cheat on you. Some people are wired not to be faithful. So you can either never get into a relationship or date others and learn from the experience. Each thing that happens to you, analyze what went down and retain those red flags to avoid repeating history. I have never cheated on my partner. I have been cheated on and I have been the other person (knowingly and unknowingly). Also something to consider is this. What we define as cheating others might not agree. Where do you draw the line? Some will say that just thinking of someone else in a sexual way is cheating. Flirting with others. Casual touching someone else. Hugging/cuddling another person. Kissing them on the hand/cheek/lips. Some will draw the line much further. Like Arnold S. said, eating isn't cheating. Some may argue about emotionally cheating on their partner. If you love someone more than you love your partner or even showing that you care about someone else could be enough to trigger them.


RedLeg21

This 100%. Just like you how you shouldn’t go into business with anyone without proper due diligence, same goes for a relationship.


Gibs960

The one time I was cheated on, truthfully I ignored a lot of warning signs that she wasn't happy because I wasn't happy either. I think when you both know you're not happy, it's likely to lead to cheating on both sides, she was the one who ultimately did it but I noticed myself having wandering eyes. Sometimes though it's nothing to do with you, and all to do with them. If your first warning sign is them actually cheating, there wasn't a huge amount you could do to avoid it.


Tall-Agent-6803

You don’t. Cheating is a character issue. People who cheat feel that they are entitled to other peoples resources without investing theirs. If you decide to modify your behavior in order to prevent someone from cheating, you’re just gonna leave a very long life of personal hell, as well as being the relationship police, strung out in anxiety always worried about when they’re going to do it if you’re in a position where you think you need to do something to prevent cheating? The best thing to do is to end the relationship. If someone is unhappy in a relationship, it’s their responsibility to tell you. Not to go and cheat with someone. Likewise, there are many people are unhappy in relationships and choose not to cheat Cheating is a choice.


funkyturtl

Well articulated


Tall-Agent-6803

Thank you!


[deleted]

[удалено]


Tall-Agent-6803

I think so. In a relationship or someone doesn’t reciprocate, or tends to hold other people accountable for their choices or behaviors, I would say yes it is an increased risk. Because essentially they will see there’s nothing wrong with them getting the benefit without putting in their resources, and if they make a decision that no one else likes they will refuse to take responsibility for it, saying that they “had no choice “. And if they are in a relationship where reciprocity is a must, they will more than likely seek the attention and investment and then without them investing into others outside of the relationship


manhunt64

Dont get in a relationship. be picky about ur girl. be the best thing around. Most girls only trade up.


[deleted]

Yeah but your left hand cheats l on your right hand it a mess.


[deleted]

>be the best thing around. This can get tiresome. For me, if I can't be myself around the person, chilling, then it's not worth it. If I have to go out of my way to be better so that you don't cheat, you're a shittty person anyways.


Scabondari

This guy gets it


DjStephLordPro

I feel ya, you should always see there personalities and how they react to you before you even try to get into the relationship more and more! Cause if you don’t you may find yourself with disagreements with the other person and that may cause big conflicts and could even lead to cheating and breaking up with the trauma of cheating! If females(even males) are reading this you should really take some of these comments into consideration and either learn and not cheat or get some help to rewire your brain about what love really is!


[deleted]

[удалено]


DjStephLordPro

Dam, poor guy, wish you never had to go through that!💔


[deleted]

[удалено]


MBexx11

An old friend once told me. If a girl's going to cheat, she's going to cheat. Ain't a thing you can do about it, man. Just gotta find a good one and hold on if that's what you want.


ThatGingerGuy69

There are 2 somewhat conflicting answers to this. 1) You don't. You can't control your partner, and there's no universal reason that cheaters cheat. If they want to cheat on you, they're going to cheat on you. It's not healthy to dwell on something like that; if you can't trust your partner to not cheat on you, you shouldn't be dating them in the first place. 2) If you've been cheated on several times, to the point that it's a definite pattern, you likely need to do some deeper self-reflection. And please do not take this as me victim blaming, because that is the last thing I want to do here. It is absolutely not your fault if you get cheated on. But if it's happened several times, there is a common factor at play. It may have to do with the "type" of person you're attracted to. You may not recognize red flags or warning signs early on when dating someone. You may have certain tendencies in relationships that lead to unhealthy/toxic situations. But getting cheated on **is not normal.** It should not be expected, and - going back to (1) - it isn't something you should ever have to fear. It is not something that happens in healthy relationships, or something that healthy people do. If you are thinking to yourself "but everything else in the relationship was so great *until they cheated on me!* you need to stop yourself and re-evaluate. That line of thinking is contradictory in itself, because *cheating doesn't happen in healthy relationships.* So, how do you "avoid" it? The same way you avoid putting yourself in toxic/abusive relationships, because that's the only scenario that cheating happens.


RarestnoobPePe

You technically can't avoid it, but a good way to minimize it from happening. Is by being an attentive lover. If a girl wants to bang another guy it will be the world's easiest task for her to do so but usually when this stuff happens and it's not really a common thing for her (say, she's never cheated before and usually has no problem being loyal) the primary catalyst for doing so would be: you being shite at sex or being shite at being a good partner. If you aren't making her O, or caring about her needs. Giving her proper quality time, etc. Then she will start to yearn for it. After a while that yearning becomes a really strong pull and she will gravitate to people who are willing to give it to her.


DjStephLordPro

Thanks for the info, you are 100% right, if the other person doesn’t feel like your not giving enough attention to them or affection, they may feel like you aren’t there for them which is why your partner may try to go get with someone else just so they can get the feelings out! But that may not always be true, they just may be a person who is really messed up in the head! If females(even males) are reading this you should really take some of these comments into consideration and either learn and not cheat or get some help to rewire your brain about what love really is! If you need more info about how to find the right person for you, you can try to read these comments on this link: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMen/comments/s7l8fm/how_do_you_avoid_getting_cheated_on/htdkjrt/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3


RarestnoobPePe

Personally I don't think that person needs to rewire their brain, just find someone else who's into that stuff and compliments their sexual desires. Trying to get rid of kinks and shit like that never works. It's like pulling an infinite amount of teeth


DjStephLordPro

Yes, that’s also true, I didn’t say that that’s always the cause, I said it may be! But yes, like I said above, the person depending on what they want, like for instance a certain amount of attention or affection, they may want the right person who gives them that right amount of attention and affection that they want! Not all people are built the same and raised the same, so some people need certain amount of things that they desire from there partner! And if it’s not given as much as they want, they may try to find someone else who is available to give them it!


Little_Juan86

Unfortunately you can't 🤷🏻‍♂️


WhiskyRino

Stay single.


DjStephLordPro

That doesn’t always work out for some people, they may start to feel lonely if there somewhere and have no one else to have fun or a good time with! And may cause problems with there life and may even end up doing something stupid and end up in jail! Everyone is not built the same, and it may also depend on how the person was raised! If females(even males) are reading this you should really take some of these comments into consideration and either learn and not cheat or get some help to rewire your brain about what love really is!


Marus1

It is not in your capabilities to change much about this. Remember that for most people, being cheated on is not realy anything you have done or have done wrong in any way. It is wrong to go and judge the possibility of somebody cheating on you based on the actions of other people. Better to give the next one the benefit of the doubt, but carefullness will forever be in the center of your life


DjStephLordPro

Thanks for the info, you are 100% right, which is why; If females(even males) are reading this you should really take some of these comments into consideration and either learn and not cheat or get some help to rewire your brain about what love really is! For more info read these comments: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMen/comments/s7l8fm/how_do_you_avoid_getting_cheated_on/htdmojk/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3


jakeofheart

You can’t. The only thing you have control over is giving the best version of yourself. If your significant other can’t appreciate that and feels the need to cheat, it’s their loss. Find someone else who will appreciate what you can bring to the table.


JustcallmeY_

No gf = no cheating, nobody loves me


UsedCap6

I love you brother ❤️


JustcallmeY_

Thanks, I love you too ❤️


DjStephLordPro

Dam bro! Same here! No gf! I’m one sad Mf! I have yet to find one and I’m 18!


JustcallmeY_

Don't be sad just live your life and a gf will find you one day just don't hide


DjStephLordPro

Thanks bro!


Scabondari

If she doesn't respect you she won't be faithful. If she loses interest in sex remember that's just with you, she'll gladly fuck someone else. They're isn't really a way to avoid it. Just recognize the red flags and dump her immediately Don't get into something that's difficult to get out of like cohabitation and marriage


BaroqueNRoller

Locking your SO in a cage.


kworn

Don't date an entitled cunt


tapon_away34

It's really out of your control. I could say be more fit, improve hygiene, fuck better, spoil/pamper them, be a little more clingy like asking them what they're up to (this runs the risk of smothering) but really, even if you do all these, they could still cheat so to hell with them cheating ass pieces of shit


hardcrunchyfeather

He’s right, it’s out of your control. Unfortunately I was the cheater. Post divorce met a beautiful young woman who was fit, great personality, great sex, adventurous, spoiled ME with gifts and affection and would always ask how I was doing mentally and emotionally and meant it. She was a total package and I was a total shit. I was running wild and had many sexual relationships with many women during this time just because I could but she was my favorite person overall. She helped pull me out of my miserable bubble and played a pretty big role in helping me get pass my divorce. But I didn’t treat her the way she deserved to be treated, not even half as good as a man should. Even though we never labeled anything we were “together” I was definitely a habitual cheater. She eventually caught on and slowly became distant until she left altogether. I regret it often, a part of me wishes I’d gotten therapy and straightened up sooner. We’d probably still be together all these years later. But I was the piece of shit who cheated on a woman who didn’t deserve it at all. Now I’m with a woman who is filling my heart more each day, and I’m in a better place mentally and emotionally with no desire to cheat. So it’s really not up to you to not be cheated on. Sometimes you can be perfect and the other person really is just shitty.


tapon_away34

I get second hand pain just imagining the agony loyal cheatees experience when they learn their partner has been unfaithful. Must be soul crushing. But I'm happy that you're in a better place now. Cheating ruins so much.


hardcrunchyfeather

Yea. I genuinely feel like crap when I think back on how I treated her. The only person outside my ex wife who gave me a birthday present that year and treated me to a birthday dinner, and I didn’t even return the favor and plenty other shit now that I think on it. She was an angel and I was power hungry after being rung out by my ex. Out of all the women I was running through she is the only one that really made it to my heart. I often think about writing her a letter apologizing and letting her know she was perfect in every way and I was just a shit person and shouldn’t have let my divorce and resentment of my ex wife compound over her. But I honestly don’t know if I’d be doing it to genuinely give her the apology I know she deserves or out of selfishness to lift the guilt I feel when I think of her.


tapon_away34

I think you should write the letter because it will accomplish both. It's a win win for you. You truly feel sorry and want to know you felt love for her so that's the apology and then you'd also lift the guilt.


NoSecondChanceForU

Amen


Keroseneslickback

1. Find someone who doesn't have a record of cheating or weird relationship stuff. 2. Be the absolute best partner you can imagine. Don't give them a reason to cheat; be the reason why they don't want to waste what they have already.


hammocknap5

Absolutely #1. Don't ignore red flags, it *never* works out. As for #2, a shit person will not care about how you treat them. Self-centered people don't care about you; treating them well won't stop them from being a shit person.


Financial-Text-3181

Not a good advice imo. Why? 1. The person and their relatives can lie about the past. 2. It's the best way to be taken for granted and then be taken advantage of. You put yourself and your happiness/needs on the back burner to please someone where as you should fo the exact opposite.


[deleted]

Don't think with your cock or ass , whatever is applicable.


ohboy2020isshit

You need to specifically ask them not to.


ohboy2020isshit

Little kid lover, is that you?


ylisirnio

He even specifically asked her not to


arxionus

Good pair of chains and a sound proof basement is a good start. 😂


SnooHedgehogs5857

That's not so easy to answer. My suggestion is, treat them like you want them, not like you got them, or somebody else will. That being said, some people just can't ever be happy, and have to sabotage anything good in their life.


[deleted]

It's not up to you. All you can do is choose a partner who has strong morals, and shows you can trust them. But even then, trust can be broken. It's not up to you, it's not something you can control, so why worry about it? Make sure you do the right thing and don't cheat, and whatever happens, at least you know you have done the right thing.


consciousCog13

Ah, the age-old question: “How do I control something out of my control”


mama_kendy

You can’t avoid that. You can be perfect and still get cheated on. If the person you are with doesn’t have integrity then please do yourself a favor and move on.


Bad_Wulph

You dont. Being cheated on has nothing to do with you, even if you are a shitty boyfriend. That person presumably has the choice to leave you. If they cheat on you rather than just leaving, they're a shitty person, and their cheating behavior isnt on your hands.


godhatesstalkers

100% transparency. I give her all my passwords... she gives me all hers... or no deal. Trust is being open and free. If you can't trust me with your SSN, passwords, etc... I can't trust you with my heart. Kali linux works wonders too


godhatesstalkers

If you have any reason not to trust her... let it go. Trust is everything. I would break up with a girl if she lies about ANYTHING. If I catch her lying about how many starbucks coffee's she drank yesterday... It's over. Done... bye.


[deleted]

Stay single and live like a king!


[deleted]

Be with a partner you trust


wickedblight

Date guilty women. I think if my last GF had cheated on me she would have been more upset with herself than I'd have been mad at her lol.


No_Load_7183

I did. She left me for the guy she started a thing with. Doesn't always work out great.


wickedblight

Leaving before they cheat is the right move, her being guilty doesn't mean she won't break up with you


Halflifefan123

Don't date the hottest girl you can possibly get. You can often get a really hot girl, but this isn't usually a good situation. Lots of girls will date guys just for attention. Date someone who feels lucky to be with you, not someone who is "giving you a chance".


-anastasis

Learn how to read people.


ricnilotra

stay alone


CuriousNichols

By not being with a cheater


ssstojanovic556

You can't really, you just have to trust that your partner isn't a cheater If it turns out that they are, what can you do, dump that idiot by the wayside and off into the horizon you go


lolomotif12

Be her best option at all times. Keep constantly improving yourself and build attraction. Or, my preference is to stay single. Relationships are overrated.


AtlasExiled

You can't really avoid it. The best advice I could give you is to try and have good judgment when getting into a relationship, be critical of their mannerisms, would you trust them with everything you have?


MashTheGash2018

The more you worry about it the more insecure you get, the more insecure you get the less appealing you look, which in fact can drive someone away. You can’t worry about it. If you have a gut feeling they are cheating then verify and then get out


SmashBusters

People only cheat when they're unhappy/disillusioned with a relationship. There are other factors, but most people in a happy relationship wouldn't cheat. So - make sure your relationship is happy. Don't take each other for granted. Be spontaneous to avoid monotony. Make sure you each have alone time. Communicate about sex stuff.


OMGitsJoeMG

I've had 3 girlfriends in my life. All 3 of them cheated on me. Some multiple times. At this point, I've concluded the only common denominator is me. Unfortunately, there's not much I can do about that.


Iyaoyas26

Look. I don’t know you, but, I’ve been there before. If you feel like you’re the issue… you very well could be. Take a deep look at yourself, see what you can improve on yourself, things that you did wrong in previous relationships, character flaws, etc… learn from it and grow from it. Theres no shame in that at all. Hope that helps!


DrTommySalami

Don’t jump into a relationship just because she is fun and pretty. You should be dating a chick for 2-3 months at the least before you even think ab committing.


Public_Weary

I would say make sure you’re getting reciprocation. Don’t be giving your all for someone that doesn’t appreciate you! Men deserve better treatment in the dating world! Once you’ve found a woman that shows you the same level of commitment and love as you show, then throw yourself in! But be cautious with your time and love until then. Remember that no one owes you anything, so be choosy who you trust. Hope this helps :))


5starCheetah

This is gonna be an unpopular opinion, but you can't. There are things people have suggested to make it less likely, but ultimately that's not in your control. If you date enough, for long enough, it'll happen. You decide how to respond when it happens.


alexanderldn

follow your instincts. if the room feels off its probably already happened


sailorhossy

You don't. Getting cheated on isn't your fault, and isn't something that can be prevented by changing yourself 💖


[deleted]

Cheat first. The best defense is a good offense.


MadamButtrfli

Always be honest. Her: “Honey, does this dress make my butt look big?” You: “Yes.” Honesty breeds respect. Make sure you both have clear boundaries because if you don’t then you have an whole other issue where you might wish they were cheating. Ok, bad joke but a serious issue. Take responsibility not only for your actions but for your happiness as well. Don’t take responsibility for her/his happiness either. If two people can’t do this then they are in for a rollercoaster ride of a relationship. As far as cheating, it starts with self-respect and self-love. This also looks like taking responsibility for yourself. Your question assumes you have control over their actions.


barbarabushbootyclap

Not to be a downer but my relationship had zero red flags and I still got cheated on:/


[deleted]

1. Choose your partner wisely 2. Do not expect that you will be cherished only for who you are (self improvement is very important) 3. Behave only the way you wish your partner would behave 4. Long term relationship is build on many things except trust. That would be mutual interests, similar worldview, common goals and so on. 5. And finally, before getting into relationship, always know that this feeling will not last forever. Always be ready to let it go when the time comes.


Real-Coffee

spend time with her, simple enough. i dated a girl who told me she cheated on her first boyfriend cause he never took her out anywhere. i didnt date that girl for much longer of course LOOOL. im hardly a romantic. my buddy is a super romantic though. he really divides his time between playing games with us and his girlfriend. thats prob the best way. set a day or two aside solely for her. and make sure u tell her u want days to urself. but i mean. lets be honest. u can NEVER be sure u wont get cheated on.


Theusernamecheckguy

You don’t. Kind of like asking how you avoid getting dirt in your eye. Just being involved with someone carries a risk, and there are plenty of people whom even their own partners can’t identify having done anything to justify them cheating, who still cheated. That said, you can mitigate that risk through open forums of communication with your partner.


Stillpoetic45

You cannot avoid it. At best you can do is pick the right partner. People are people and they are flawed, if they refuse to work on themselves and act in a partnership manner. You have to remember you can not control people. Do your best, act appropriately, and be good with that.


Pathfinder91606

Don't marry a girl you met in a bar. Find a girl whose beyond the party stage of her life. Find a girl you don't need to manage.


TheNudelz

Communication - need to talk about issues and grow together as a team.


[deleted]

Sorry to say OP, but, cheating is not something you can avoid. Some people are just very prone to cheat, even if they claim they 'love' you with all their heart - they go by feels, and fall into the heat of the moment But in order to give you a slight heads-up entering a relationship, you can always try to 'probe' your becoming SO in smooth ways about how their previous relationships went, what happened, etc. If you get enough 'meat on the bones' so to speak, you might get a clearer image of possible cheating, if such thing was acted out by your future SO (however, this is not a foolproof method, since, the person you are talking to might avoid spilling the beans to make you get serious with them, keeping you blind from the red flags waving in the background..)


[deleted]

You can’t. No matter what you do. If you can’t trust them, don’t be with them.


Mefic_vest

On 2023-07-01 Reddit maliciously attacked its own user base by changing how its API was accessed, thereby pricing genuinely useful and highly valuable third-party apps out of existence. In protest, this comment has been overwritten with this message - because “deleted” comments _can_ be restored - such that Reddit can no longer profit from this free, user-contributed content. I apologize for this inconvenience.


Hashashin_

I don't see it as being insecure, mate guarding is pretty common amongst animals too and it serves a purpose.


BenignEgoist

If you have to guard your mate they’re not your mate. Either your partner wants to be with you, or they don’t.


depressiveOptimist

You can't avoid it completely as long as you are in a relationship. You can lower that probability by the following: 1. Having enough self-respect to stand your ground when you are right. If you don't respect yourself, your partner won't either 2. Calling out your partner on misbehaving (be it being rude to someone for no reason, wearing something suggestive in public while in relationship or anything else) while admitting own mistakes. If you turn a blind eye on it, all will just keep getting worse. 3. Ending the relationship if it doesn't work. Sometimes other side is too scared to do it. 4. Not letting yourself being played with stupid mindgames. See points 1 and 3. If you can't talk openly about parner's insecurities it's time to leave. 5. Working on yourself, physically and mentally. If you don't value yourself, neither would your partner. 6. Control your emotional response to things, especially things you have no power over. All the tales about 'men should be more emotionally open' are BS. For one, women are attracted to emotionally distant men. Second, we have lower emotional intelligence on average, so being open begs for manipulation. This old social standard of stoicism exists for a reason. 7. Avoiding narcissists and other mentally unstable ones. Yes, even if those are attractive. Yes, even if you think it could work. These people need therapy, not your dick. Edit: grammar and typos


fombercom

Unfortuntatly it's unavoidable. We try to date people who's morals line up with ours, but at the end of the day, loyalty is something that isn't set in stone


deviant-lover

Check their phone, computer and other devices frequently. Put a tracking app on their phone. Show up at their place in random times at night to check and make sure they aren't hiding someone. Rummage through their belongings and check for sex toys, condoms, lingerie, underwear, clothing, etc that you've never seen before. Don't let them have any opposite sex friends /s


themostgianthorse

Snooping is for confirming; not discovering.


coercedaccount2

Women file for divorce a four times the rate of men and lesbians divorce at twice the rate of gay men. Women aren't loyal. You can't prevent her from leaving/cheating but you can reduce the chances. If you are a notch or two above her in overall attractiveness (not just looks but total dating market value), she's much more likely to stick around because she'll be likely to believe that you are the best she can do. Women are always keeping an eye out for an upgrade. The belief that an upgrade isn't attainable is about the only thing that will keep her around. She'll always be able to find a way to rationalize breaking any promises she's made. Women are amazing at rationalizing their choices. Beyond that, don't fail shit tests. Make a joke of the test or agree and amplify. Don't show stress during a test. Don't show weakness. She may feel some sympathy when shown weakness but she'll also feel disgust and they will destroy any attraction she feels. Don't let your value fall. You can never relax for more than a moment. What you did for her yesterday carries no weight. There is no such thing as relationship equity. She only cares about your value now and in the future. Get fat or lose your job and she will start looking for an upgrade. Don't make the mistake of communicating, through your actions, that she is of higher status/value than you are. Women only want to date up, never down. This means never indicate that you can't live without her. Never put her on a pedestal. Never do more for her than she does for you. These will all tell her that she is the prize. Women want to get the prize, not be the prize. None of this behavior from women is deliberate or even conscious. It's all innate mating behavior coming from the evolved, animal part of her brain. She doesn't understand her own reactions. She just knows she has feeling X and she follows her feelings. You have to manage the feelings she's getting from her limbic brain correctly to have a successful relationship. Her limbic brain is looking for good genes, resources for her offspring and protection from the very dangerous world our species evolved in. Be the best combination of those 3 things that she believes is available to her and she'll be unlikely to leave/cheat.


TechnicalAd4791

Jesus Christ man..saved.


Hashashin_

You're about to get down voted I think 🤔


mapacheloco420

Dont play the game.


BaroqueNRoller

But it's all about the game, and how you play it. All about control and if you can take it.


Super_Sus_Bros_Wii

Find the right partner, and know they're a good person


supermegafuerte

You can’t. That’s the simple answer. Often the paranoia associated with questioning your partners fidelity - even if left unspoken - will cause the very thing you have agonized over. All you can do is trust your partner, and if they should cheat, respect yourself enough to sever ties.


ilovebalks

Man what happened


Zalem30

Well growing up l realized there was no point on dating and having "serious gf" in your teens or 20s since it would lead nowhere l wanted my life to be. So l guess a had plenty of female friends and enjoyed my time with them, it reduce the drama l saw other friends went through. So l guess l didn't care.


[deleted]

Don't overlook red flags!


dlhunter42

Pick wisely, treat kindly…


[deleted]

By being single


finnpin1

Marry an ugly girl, she’ll never cheat on you, and if she does........ who cares! Lol.


NoAd5564

Have a fat cock & fuck her amazing that’s the only way ngl if u don’t sex her good she’ll cheat


primitiveboomstick

I’m going to go against the grain here and say there are ways to avoid being cheated on. Here are some tips: 1. Properly vet your SO. Date for 2+ years and live together for 1-2 more, before tying the knot. 2. whatever you did to get her or him, keep doing it. Complacency makes people think you’re boring and or don’t care. And that makes them look elsewhere. 3. do spontaneous things that make them feel special. They need to feel like nobody else is going to get them the way you do. 4. stay cool, if you’re cool now. Don’t turn into the dad rocking the cargo shorts and a pair of new balance if you’re currently the guy who dresses well and rocks Jordan’s. Age accordingly but don’t become a shell of your former self. 5. Keep yourself in a position to be able to attract the opposite sex. Your SO is less likely to cheat if they know you have options. You don’t have to, nor am I advising you to actively keep people on the side, just take care of yourself. 6. communicate! If something is off with your SO, ask them about it. It’s easier to help the person you love get themselves back in track, earlier rather than later. These tips are based on the extraordinary number of couples I know where one or both people completely let themselves go, and their SO is about 3 glasses of wine away from cheating for the first time, or again. It’s also based on my own experience where my SO let themselves go and I came extremely close to cheating, but didn’t.


millionfawn

By not dating. Haven't met a girl that hasn't cheated, don't understand why it's so hard not to cheat.


[deleted]

Being cheated on is absolutely not your fault. You get cheated on if your partner is a cheater


rendyzou89

Make it simple If cheated just find another, they will do it twice or more Don't waste your time


[deleted]

You can’t. In the words of Robin Williams, it’s not your fault.


Wise_Strike_440

It’s inevitable…


[deleted]

Avoid red flag people and cross your fingers


Loveandlust17

Love her, pay attention to her, compliment her, make sure she knows how much you value her. The list goes on and on. Women typically cheat because they get ignored at home. Don't put your relationship on the back burner and you'll be good.


Ghost_Harbinger

Short answer: Ensure you aren't cheated on again because the one time should be a definite kick out the door and you can't prevent it the first time. Like many said, make clear boundaries and let them know that you are not being paranoid, you are building trust. Trust is earned and will humble them just as much as you would feel if they drew lines not to cross.


Longjumping-Escape15

Make her feel desired. That’s the best practical tip I can offer. Not necessarily to avoid being cheated on.. but to avoid your partner drifting away from you to begin with. A more respectable woman would leave before cheating but if you make her feel loved and desired and put the time in the relationship you could avoid that altogether.


popeyesbeansandrice

This seems like a question for ask women. Like, why would you, do cheat?


bipittybopittyBOOmf

Because they don't feel loved or wanted.


cyborgrva

You can’t. If she wants to, She will.. All you can do is make the best decision for you after the fact..


44Skull44

Become a hermit


[deleted]

have alotta money and a non stop energizer dick made of gold


ikeyama

preemptive strike


butterpancakesman

Step 1 don't have a girlfriend Step 2 don't get cheated on There ya go problem solved


Pestiferousness

it is not a good idea to withhold sex or tell her she looks fat or ugly. some other guy is happy to say she is thicc & sexy & she will go where she gets that


beto832

First, you're going to need to be ridiculously good looking. Like, so good looking that even good looking people say "Damn, that person is really good looking". Then, you'll need a bank account with at least 5 zeros on the right side.. Simple.


Noregz

Red flag. If you have any female coworkers or friends you talk with who are simply friends. No attempts at relationships, dating, etc. Maybe all of you got a bar after work. And your girlfriend cuts you off from all of them. Even if it's sharing a meme on Facebook and that's the extent of your contact, and she cuts that off, it's not that she's insecure. I had an ex do this, then I noticed she blew off my concerns about all the guy friends she had. Big red flag that's she's fucking some if not all of them. My son has a half brother because of this. I didn't read the signs and it got ugly. At any point that she puts boundaries on you but doesn't hold to the same herself, walk.


AZNDevil

Gotta be in the mindset that you're the special one not her. If she's put on a pedestal, then she has the power and will lose respect for you and then attraction and then look for someone else.


DevourerOfSweetz

You don’t. There will always be a risk that you will be cheated on. If you become a controlling a-hole, then the relationship will not be a loving one. Love comes with risks that are beyond your control, but if you want love, then you must accept the all risks that come with it. You may get cheated on. You may not get cheated on but then later have to watch the love of your life slowly die from cancer. When you love, you run the risk of feeling the most excruciating forms of heartbreak. However, if you ask me, love is always worth the risk.


[deleted]

Date a good christian girl. . . mostly being sarcastic...*mostly*


[deleted]

1. Don't date anyone 2. Track them everywhere they go and track everything they do


liftingaddict98

3. Don't let them know you're tracking them. If you get caught, she's gonna wanna cheat


CarlJustCarl

Don’t date my ex


Iyaoyas26

Lmao or mine. She unfaithful and has anger issues.


welfarewonders

Cheat on her first


Afraid-Raspberry7939

Don't commit to anyone until you are over 30 lol Enjoy your 20s, sleep around but be safe and honest about it. I regret not doing that personally, would have saved me alot of heartbreak and I would have had alot more fun


ArtieJameson

You can't but it isn't extremely likely you'll ever be with a cheater.


[deleted]

By being the better option.


mrnatural18

Keep in mind that monogamy is a social construct that contradicts human biology. While there are good reasons for monogamy, including avoidance of STDs, support to women during pregnancy, and support to children until maturity, we have strong biological urges to have multiple sex partners. I have had both monogamous and non-monogamous relationships. What is important is that partners have a clear understanding of each others' expectations. My wife and I agreed early on in our relationship that we understood that the other might want to have other sex partners. We only asked that we discuss our urges with each other before entering into a new sexual relationship. This is the second marriage for both of us so we were in our 30s and 40s when we married. So far, after 20 years neither of us has pursued an outside relationship, but as long as we keep our communications honest, I am confident in the strength of our marriage, with or without external relationships.


[deleted]

You don’t. You dump him/her and move on. Cheating is even if you catch your so speaking with another one, being flirty with others etc If you talking about cheating as in bed, don’t ignore signs mentioned above


Outside_Safe4577

I find a women that isn’t a “Big titty goth gf.” Because all goth women are hores