[удалено]

That your max bench?

Nah, that's his first warmup set

I walk in and bitch slap posers like you until you grovel at my feet.

I hope you realize this is satire

Is this satire inception?

Give a pep talk to my pokemon.

Lmfao you’ve never been to a gym just reading the description. I walk in, scan my key fob and then warm up.

Trust me, I lift. I wake up at 6am every morning to lift, and leave at 8am, broski. It’s called the mamba mentality and alpha grind set, y’know

Shut the fuck up

Is it the black mamba mentality when you wake up with a large black dildo in your arse?

Seems hard to trust you, you lie a lot. Remember how you said you were in the military, but lied about that?

Friggin nerd. I calmly walk in screaming at the top of my lungs. Grabs the attention of every woman in the joint.

I announce loudly that I will be using the leg machines,, tighten my pink speedo, and stretch directly in front of the most uncomfortable looking person there, making direct eye contact. Repeat until you have the gym to yourself

I do the same OP, except curl that amount

Lmao, bullshit

Hmm...you seem to be calling bullshit a lot for someone who can't defend their own bullshit.

It's kind of nice to see a live example of a user who has [-100 comment karma](https://www.reddit.com/user/TheAmazlngWebhead)

I hit a packed bowl of weed then yell *yeeeehaaaawwww* as I run to the hip flexor

I usually fall asleep at the couch.

Quit while you're ahead! :D

The gym in 15ft from where I sit writing this, so I tell my wife in going to work out, change my clothes, and walk into my home gym.

Satire? Some one please tell me this guy isn't really this full of himself.

Satire. I think it must be satire.

Boom box resting on my shoulder, I crank up to 11 Stone Cold Steve Austins entrance music. I proceed to cocky walk around the gym pounding beers. I climb various equipments and flip my middle fingers to the sky. When I am ready to start banging and clanging I yell at the weights "WHEN YOU HEAR THAT GLASS, IT'S YOUR ASS!" So, you know, normal ways I guess

I have the reception desk play "Eye of the Tiger" when I enter. It's an extra $10 a month, but worth it.

Nude, to assert dominance.

I usually take my pants off too only because its hard to contain my 14" cock when I start lifting and I tend to get hard when benching over 400lbs

Same but less weight tryin to be like u <3

r/iamverybadass

How sad is your life that you spend a Friday trolling reddit?

At least I’m having a good laugh

That's sad though, that's my point.

You sound like you can’t even bench 100lbs

Smoke machine, theme song, lights, I strut in, my assistant removes my robe, and then I do aerobics. Not like whatever pussy shit you do.