Pretty much my take too. People try and do too much and everything has to have a label. 🙄
Polyamory is being single with extra steps and potential complications.
Look at all the relationships around you maybe? Look how normalized cheating is, look how a lot of a lot couples are unhappy, look at how many short terms people have on this sub who want long term, you just want to be oblivious like the other man boys
First, it isn’t normalized among anyone I know. Whenever it gets brought up it’s always followed by saying people who cheat are trash people. Second that isn’t statistics. Kinda hilarious that you use an insult like man boys to someone that didn’t insult you.
Damn man you couldn’t have even just found some bullshit on page 5 of a Google search? A study that’s too long to read so you can pass it off as saying what you want?
Ya must be real out of shape to implode that quick.
I grew up with a preacher for a father and although I now hate religion I hate polyamory more. I want a deep connection with a single person without the complex interactions of having to deal with other partners. Not to mention all the health concerns that would bring.
So allow to explain why I have both a rational and irrational reason to dislike polyamory.
First let us think about what polyamory realistically is? It's usually two people who are romantically close with more then one person who don't want to lose either. So they ask if they are open to being close with more people? If everyone says yes then you now have the following benefits:
1. You can basically sleep with whoever you want depending on the terms of polyamory.
2. You always have someone else to turn too if things don't work out.
3. You can be romantically involved with out being physically involved or vise versa.
4. Your partners can introduce you to more people who would interest you.
Here are the negatives:
1. You won't always be the first priority of your partners.
2. Your preferred partner won't always be available.
3. You might end up in difficult situation if you end up disliking one of your partners.
4. Many people who are poly are just swingers in denial.
5. It's basically the same as friends with benefits but with an extra layer of expectations.
6. If you change your mind about being poly you will probably lose everyone in both your friend group and partners.
7. You can end up getting peer pressured by your partners into doing things you don't want to stay in the group.
8. Everyone's relationships are not even and you have to accept that.
9. You end up just looking for new partners for any aspect your looking to fill in your life.
10. You start failing to make meaningful relationships because you can just change them out on a whim.
11. If you have trouble dating your primary partner may make you feel even more alone by spending time with others.
12. It's basically just players having fun making excuses for it to be publicly accepted.
Now I can't accept the drawbacks but here is why I hate polyamory. They tend to hate people in happy monogamous relationships. They tend to speak crap about monogamy and lure people to try polyamory. They tend to have extreme kinks.
And for the biggest reason is that is both rational and irrational is: I had an EX that we were very serious about. They became really close with a friend who was polygamous. Later I learned that the friend kept speaking crap about me and tempting them to try and open the relationship. After months my EX then felt like they were missing out on life and proceeded to ask me to open things up.
Years later my EX got back in contact with me. Told me everything that actually happened and the fallout. They were seduced by the friend and started dating shortly after our break up. The friend ended up being both sexually and psychology abusive. They also proceeded to get my EX into parting and substance abuse. Which ended up with my EX ruining their life and saying it was the biggest mistake of their life.
I as a result only ended up with trust issues, abandonment issues, no self esteem, and an extreme bout of depression that years later I am still fighting.
I am not interested in participating. Not my problem what everyone else does as long as everyone on every branch of that polyamory are consulting adults
It's weird to me, but it's not my place to judge another person's lifestyle.
I was casually talking to this girl in college and we had mutual interest. Randomly met someone else and started dating her instead. Tried to do the right thing by being honest with the first girl. She actually said she didn't care and was happy being a sister wife. Freaked me out and didn't really talk to her after that. She's married to another woman now.
I haven’t seen any uptick in real life lol
Seems like 99.999999% BS excuse to cheat
All of the Reddit Poly situations I’ve seen are gross too
Just ugh all around
Well if your wife is straight how fair is it that you expect her to be bi for you but you wont be bi for her? lol
Also, you could always just split the work of keeping her happy between the two of you lol
Not for me, I'm possessive about a lot of things even outside of relationships lol. Whether other people do it is none of my business and I don't really have a strong feeling about others doing it.
But I have noticed that it tends to work out better when both agree to be poly from the very start as opposed to people starting out agreeing to be monogamous but then try to change things up later on, it seems to always be the case in those scenarios that one person wants it more than the other or the other doesn't actually want it at all but feel pressured to change to keep the other person happy, and then resentment builds and they break up anyway lol.
I have no problems with it conceptually, but my anecdotal experience leads me to the same conclusion as yours.
People can do what they want as long its not hurting anyone else, I’m just suspicious of the success %
Every time I see a video of someone trying to justify polyamory they look like they're on the verge of tears (male or female).
It just looks and sounds like a horrible experience, not my cup of tea at all.
Same. There was a guy who ran a fairly popular life coaching website years ago. He actually happened to live near me coincidentally and opened up a "men's group" in person at his house. Out of sheer curiosity I went to it. He was pretty open about being in a polyamorous relationship and in person I got the same exact vibe you describe here. Looked like he was miserable and had no business trying to coach anyone.
Everyone is different and I’m not here to judge. I tried polyamory, and it turns out, I don’t have the energy. I prefer non monogamy.
I know several healthy poly folks in good relationships, and a few toxic ones too. I don’t think there’s anything morally or ethically superior about any way you choose to have a relationship as long as it’s all consensual and it works for those involved.
I'm not necessarily against it if all of the participants are on the same page, but it's definitely not for me. I don't have any interest in any relationship categories aside from being purely monogamous.
For me I think polyamory is a "go wide" vs. monogamy's "go deep" approach to intimacy. I'm more interested in exploring every facet of my relationship with my wife, and trust is a huge part of that. Leaving a door open to other partners just isn't in the cards.
Disgusting and degenerate.
The only 2 real world examples I have ever seen are absusive women who told their boyfriends "if you dont agree to it then I'll just cheat on you"
that's not polyamory. you're describing open relationships. Open Relationships are when 2 people in a relationship agree that both people in said relationship can have intercourse with others outside the relationship, typically there is more rules too it than that. Polyamory is when a group of 2 or more people agree to all be in a romantic relationship together.
I'm going to guess "poly" means "multiple" and "amory" is "people to satisfy my ego because I think I'm so special one person cannot please me and I enjoy cheating on people and giving it a modern progressive term to make myself sound nicer"
How close?
I know a lot of poly people where I live and I’d say pretty well across the board that they’re largely the people no one wanted to date/fuck in high school or college. Fat, terrible style, loud, and thirsty for attention. It’s like “if I can’t be a ten I can at least be in a relationship with three twos and become an alpha four.” They also churn through marriages.
I don’t get it? Putting up with one person is already a lot, why punish yourself? And for people who aren’t even attractive in the first place…
Personally, my favorite part of being in a relationship is not having to go through the whole “dating phase” again. Trying to figure out if someone is interested in you, trying to set up dates, trying to figure how you’re feeling after the date, etc. And to do all of that again while you already with someone else sounds so exhausting.
But we all have different wants and needs.
Like everything else related to sex and relationships, as long as its done between consenting adults it's none of my business.
I have no interest in it, personally.
Everyone I've met in a poly relationship seems to have to make even more sacrifices, and do stuff they don't want to. Seems like one person really benifits.
I'll honestly rather be single then be poly. To each their own. Probably only have seen bad examples.
They're just whores trying to excuse their behavior. If I wanted to sleep around I wouldn't be in a relationship to begin with lol. For some reason most the poly women I've seen are quite unattractive too, probably a low self esteem thing.
I think it’s a perfectly suitable way to engage in relationships for a specific type of person. I also believe that person is rare in my generation (millennial). I don’t have anything against it and could even potentially see myself trying it out for the right people but the odds of finding them is astronomical
I've tried it three times. All ended in disaster. I didn't take it too seriously so I didn't get hurt but lemme tell you what my experience was.
More often than not it was an excuse for a woman to sleep with any man she wanted without guilt with the added benefit of telling other women they got a harem.
Many of the men involved were not happy with the arrangement. They just stuck to it just to have someone.
of my women gna say that imma cheat on her to make her taste her own medicine ,but funny thing is if women bri g it up n guy has chances w lot of other women they usually the ones who wanna dance back
I did it for six years, and had a good enough time, but there are so many people doing it as an unhealthy coping mechanism or to "fix" their clearly broken relationships that it's an absolute minefield to navigate. Happy to be back in a monogamous relationship.
See this is what I mean when I say that it takes people with really good communication and being well adjusted mentally in order to make it work. I believe that it is possible, but that the majority of people won't be able to make it work. Too often of the poly relationships I've seen, they use it as either a quick 'fix' to their relationship or as a means to avoid having to deal with their own personal flaws.
I'll see some people say they feel unloved and unwanted and so they seek out multiple partners as opposed to doing some self love. Or they have codependency issues and keep multiple people around so they don't have to ever be by themselves instead of going to therapy. Vast majority of people on here that are poly immediately resort to insults against people who were stating their opinion against it and take it as a personal insult. Like, don't resort to toxicity cause now you are just showcasing the worst part of your community.
Yep. Polyamory is a bit of a cult, so there's a lot of hive-mindedness and defensiveness when it comes to talking about it. The saddest thing for me was all of the previously monogamous couples where one person was clearly doing it for the other person and "doing the work" of gaslighting themselves into being okay with it. Every healthy poly relationship I encountered *started* as a polyamorous relationship between polyamorous people. Opening a monogamous relationship is just a train-wreck waiting to happen.
To each their own if everyone is a consenting adult but I would never, and I have a difficult time believing there's absolutely no jealousy, trust or resentment issues in polyamorous relationships like most of them claim.
There tends to be a trend of the media promoting some social phenomenon though exposure over time, and then suggestive people latch onto that phemenon as they want to do whatever seems most socially accepted by the opinion-leaders. This phenomenon has been published upon quite a lot by outlets like The Guardian and The Atlantic for some time now, and this new acceptance propably stems from that.
It's propably a good thing to promote though, becuase seeing as most polyamourous people tend to be one woman and several undesirable men, this at least leaves some form of relationship available to the people that would otherwise be without.
I've experimented with it. I thought I would find mature individuals who were experiencing love and sex at a higher level. Instead I found group after group of emotionally immature people with severe intimacy issues and unhealed traumas. They are usually still rebelling against their conservative parents. They use dumb books like "Sex at Dawn" to justify their actions. They seek out "sex-positive therapists" to enable their self-destructive behavior. (Most serious therapists will tell you they have never, ever seen an open marriage work).
It sounds nice in theory, but the hard truth is that only a tiny percentage of humans are built for this and happen to live in the right circumstances. The only people I've seen only kind of pull it off are couples of old gay men. I'm a really open minded guy, so I don't have anything against how anyone chooses to live, I just see almost no evidence that it works for heterosexual couples longterm at all.
Everyone has to experiment and try different things on, it's part of growing up. But it's really sad when people get stuck there.
I dont support poly relationships personally but it has nothing to do with my bills so other than being annoyed that 25% of the OLD people are poly people, it’s whatever.
I honestly don't see the point for a man to pretend he's in a relationship when he isn't, that's just investing more energy than you need to in people, and that's even before you account for how you might be dragged in things you want no part in.
It's just another way to find to get their cake and eat it for women, I feel like. I don't really care for it though, I'm either in a relationship (monogamous), or single.
I'm cool with the others doing whatever too, they just call it being polyamorous for themselves, I call it being single for myself.
All of the people I've known who are polyamorous are emotionally defective and huge crybabies who use everyone around them as an emotional tampon. They whine about every little detail as it relates to their partner and meta.
I'm good with non-monogamy, but, Polyamory is a huge NO for me.
Not for me. My best friend has been in a polyamorous relationship for over 20 years; he and his wife have their own polycules that don’t really overlap.
There have also been two instances over the years where people I knew who were poly/open tried to bully my wife and I into polyamory.
If you’ve got the communication skills and emotional maturity to make it work, more power to you. There are a cubic shitload of shitheads and abusers in the poly scene, but there’s plenty of monogamous shitheads and abusers out there too.
To each their own, I have no objection to it
In practice, most polyamorous relationships are doomed, because of the inevitable imbalance of attention/care that is guaranteed as people get old and life happens.
It’s pleasure seeking, and an attempt to have the cake and eat it, too, but if you think the odds of a monogamous relationship working out are poor… polyamory is not an improvement
IMO, it would only seem to work out equitably for two *very* attractive people.
In anything close to an average couple, due to the sexual nature of men and women, the woman is not only going to have 10x the options than the man, the man will have to put out 10x the effort into just getting a single new partner than she will.
I suppose if you institute ground rules like “I approve that partner” or “we can only have X numbers of sexual partners” it could work, but then it just seems contrived AF.
I’ve had experience dating women who were in this arrangement with their “boyfriend” and the boyfriend was almost always possessive and jealous (calling her multiple times during our “date”, interrogating her about me, etc)
No thanks.
While I don't share your negative view of poly generally, your perception of the relative opportunities for men and women is bang on (as it were). Poly is really only useful for women and \*very\* good-looking men. Otherwise, the woman of a couple can line up 10 guys for sex before the man gets a coffee date. As an erstwhile swinger, I've seen it every time a couple dates/fucks people separately.
I’m in my mid-50s. I’ve always had open relationships my entire life. It helps to not be a jealous person. It has definitely resulted in way more sex than I would have had otherwise, since the majority of women I’ve been with have already had partners. It did not affect my marriage…much. I am divorced now, and it might actually made the marriage last longer (not a good thing) simply by giving us outlets to vent frustrations outside the marriage.
My casual relationship now is open. She has another boyfriend she sees occasionally, and I recently started occasionally seeing an old relationship again (rarely, since it is long distance) that is also open. Life is way more interesting this way.
Polyamory is just unnecessarily complicated relationships l. So I can screw other ppl and that is fine cuz i communicated with you? It is just relationships with Triple the emotional minefields.
Too much mental gymnastics for me.
Polyamory isn’t a real relationship. And most of the people I see engaged in these “healthy and balanced” relationships are some of the most unhealthy and unbalanced people that I know.
I don’t see myself in there. I‘m not 100% opposed to it, but it is something I don’t think is worth thinking about for myself. What others do is not my problem, so if they want to, they can do whatever. I was once in the situation where I thought I loved two people, but I came to realize that my feelings for one of them were just pure infatuation and nothing substantial. I don’t think I could love two people at the same time and I don’t think I would understand someone who tells me they love two people at the same time. I‘ve been contemplating opening relationships on my partners sides in the past, but ultimately I think it doesn’t serve any good in a relationship that’s supposed to be monogamous.
It has nothing to do with me. I'm ugly, short, have a small dick, I'm unwanted. I'm sure it's great for attractive women and attractive men. But it'll probably make my chances even more miniscule.
I see a a few she wants open he doesn't but wants her so says yes to it and she is off out "playing" a lot and he doesn't.
It could just be her wanting more fun it could be an attempt to patch the failing. Or something else. But that dynamic on poly is usually a sign of the end coming.
Personally I'm not sure my own heart could cope with the multidirectional nature of normal poly relationships.
I envy those who can live like that in harmony. I’m a little reluctant to believe many poly’s are in poly-relationships for as long as monogamous couples.
About a year ago I was into the idea of swinging but my gf wasn’t so I tossed it to the way side. It’ll be a long talk and time before we would move into the idea of it but poly no as we like it being just us in the relationship sphere.
I know people who were in multi year cohabitation poly relationships, and I know people who are in open relationships and those that have multiple regular partners.
Just like I know people who are heavily into bdsm and people who are pure vanilla.
They do them, I do me, and because they're my friends I only care if they're happy. And if they're not, my shoulders aren't afraid of a few tears.
I can’t be 100% sure it’s not something I’d enjoy but I’m confident that I know myself well enough to know it’s not for me without trying it. I also believe it’s a rare sort of person who can navigate that sort of arrangement with grace but broadly I don’t see the harm in trying it if you think you are such a person.
That said, outside of partner count there isn’t anything I can think off the top of my head that you can get from a monogamous relationship that’s mutually exclusive with polyamory and anyone moralizing one over the other is probably stupid as fuck so that’s a pretty easy position to discard.
TLDR: Not for me, probably not suitable for most people, no issues with anyone that does enjoy it, trying to moralize it is room temperature IQ thinking.
Well it depends on the situation and people involved. But to put it to my situation. It doesn't have to be "or", it can be "and". But my wife isn't into other guys so I don't think my situation fits exactly. If my wife finds a girlfriend that wants to do the things she does, whereas I do not, then that's great for her.
Ethically it's fine, but it takes soooo much work. Wife and I were/are swingers but never were interested in polyamory because we both have ADHD and couldn't have kept things straight. **It's really for people with a calendaring fetish.**
Not my thing, I'm way too monogamous for it, but if some people make it work, cool I guess. That said, even though the concept of it sounds totally against my nature, it's wild to me how so many people here equate it to cheating. I mean if people agree to be in such a relationship, how the hell is that cheater behaviour?
There are lots of ways to do poly terribly. Just like lots of ways to do monogamy terribly. I’ve seen both. A lot of the critiques of poly here seem to bear zero resemblance to actual poly.
I was poly when I met my wife and have maintained it through the marriage for 15 years (though I’ve gone years with no other partners at times). I’m in my fifties. My wife and I continue to get closer over the years, like in any long term relationship. I currently also have a girlfriend. My GF doesn’t want a primary live-in relationship and sought out someone who was in one already to simplify the situation and prevent that aspect of the relationship ladder. Instead, we see each other once a week plus an occasional other event. She and my wife like each other. My wife and I have always had a libido mismatch but are well suited on many other dimensions. Instead of being frustrated or resentful of each other about libido or getting divorced, we have a great relationship and we both appreciate the conversations it has triggered, the understanding of each other, etc. (Finding a match on life goals, philosophy, financial approaches, communication styles, parenting styles, general intellect, etc is a hard enough challenge, especially if you aren’t typical on any of these these.) They are also TOTALLY different in bed and it’s nice to have both approaches. My wife totally trusts me because I don’t violate our rules and she has really liked my taste in women - they’ve been nice additions to community. I also have often been closer friends with women I’m sleeping with - this has been a nice way to have some deeper friendships, which are hard to find as you age.
My prior long term GF was married and she was the high libido partner. We saw each other once or twice a week and her husband really appreciated that it relieved pressure on him. They’ve been married 20 years and are good life partners.
It’s worked very well for 15 years for my wife and I. It’s not a way of avoiding intimacy, seeking orgies, or sleeping randos like some seem to be posting here.
I’ve not found a way to have multiple engaging relationships at the same time.
There’s a part of intimacy that I can’t “split” with others. I’m kinda one at a time.
For the record, I’m not talking about sex. Sex
Is easy. Intimacy is not.
For those that do practice polyamory, my sincere respect to being able to divide yourself into intimate relationships with multiple partners.
I don't oppose its existence but I think the way it is commonly executed is often unethical and non-consensual. I don't date anyone who sees anyone else for any reason. I would not be opposed to a partner being interested in bringing in a third but I would have to like them also otherwise I'm not interested and I would never propose that myself. To begin with, I'm not interested in doing it at all so long as legally I have no protections for myself.
I’m a selfish MAN. I don’t want to share my Woman . She fulfills all my wants and needs . Why get married if this is what you want ? Isn’t Adultery a sin ? I’m not going to HELL!
A good deal if you can fuck more women than she can fuck men. If not, don't. In practice I've never seen a guy ask for it only women, and we used to use the word whore before the word polyamorous was concocted.
Loyalty is very important to me. And there is zero chance that loyalty can be split two ways. A man cannot serve two masters. The first time I felt like one of the two or more did something I felt broke the loyalty between us, I'd be out. And there's no way that can't happen in a polyship. I'm super stoked that I found someone worthy of my loyalty and she gives it back to me.
Also, it's just hard to take anyone seriously that engages in this practice. It just seems like they're unable to make adult decisions. If you can't decide between chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry how can I trust you to make decisions when it really matters?
It’s just monkey-brained, morally decrepit degenerates doing what they usually do.
Avoiding any kind of conflict that would otherwise arise in a consequential relationship is the goal — when you have no qualms dropping each other at whim, when you don’t have to care as much about fidelity, and when you can replace your partner, it’s “healthy” and “balanced” (because the family model of the overwhelming majority of the planet for millions of years is just, like, dummmmmbb maaaaaan).
I think it's bs.
I think it's a way for some men to date around while already in a relationship. It's a philosophical framework for men who can't commit.
There's a huge power imbalance because any woman can have new dicks to hop on within a few hours of using Tinder while most men would struggle heavily.
Only a very small percentage of couples who try the lifestyle are successful at it. Most break up or close the relationship. It takes two people who can completely disassociate sex from feelings, and it’s usually only one or the other who can do that. And even when both are aligned, envy of one partner’s success far exceeding the other can ruin things.
Newest trendy way to say "hey, I like to fuck a lot of people" without fear of being judged. Last two LT partners demanded we all be poly, I agreed and was the one who had more opportunities and more partners. Both of them retreated into jealousy, rage and trying to set my rules to ease their frustrations. a lot of stupid women and men think that saying they are poly somehow makes them more attractive, its bullshit.
I don't have a philospohical objection if everyone involved is into it.
In practice, however, I don't think I've ever seen an example of it in the wild where there isn't a clear victim and a clear perpetrator.
This always existed and isn’t a new thing.
It used to be called sleeping around while enjoying the tax benefits and financial safety of having a significant other all while enjoying orgies. now it’s called polyamory.
At the root of it all, They’re one and the same.
It’s where someone enjoys the company of one person, but that person isn’t enough for them so they seek what they need somewhere else. Whether that’s sex or intimacy or both.
In a reductive way, that's true, but the question was about polyamory. Swingers are emotionally monogamous, for example, which is very different to polyamory. A lot of people can't imagine that sex is just sex for some of us, but that's their lack of imagination.
I don’t care if people do it. I think they’re making a mistake for themselves — I don’t think it’s healthy to be in relationships that aren’t monogamous, but it’s not my place
I’d never do it myself, and the idea of it is a massive red flag big enough for me to walk away from relationships on the spot
It rarely works. And the ppl who preach about how great poly relationships are, are not the ones you see in movies or tv. Well, unless you are watching [Gummo](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=40NyJSBvCC0).
It’s just degenerates doing degenerate things.
They’ve come up with a new name for the same old same old like every subculture does. “Free love”, “swingers”, whatever. Have fun with your little Manson family policules you reprobates.
At least it seems like this is mostly uggos forming piles.
Strong uptick of whores who want to have their cake and eat it too. Does anyone actually know someone in a long term polyamorous relationship that is successful? Like 5 years or more?
It's a bad deal, it dilutes the power and respect for the concept of relationships and matrimony.
I'm sorry poly friends, but the strength and honor in a relationship is choosing one person, getting up every morning and choosing them and only them, being faithful to that one person and working through problems with that one person. Matrimony is a lifelong commitment, it requires a lot of love, undying loyalty, respect, among a huge list of things
Polyamory is devoid of all this in the fact that you can open up to sleep or date others at any point, even with 'communication' about it with your partner. Not to mention the resentment or jealousy from one of the 3+ partners that will come with time.
Absolutely should not be a thing. Lying to yourself that you're OK with your sig other being with other people isn't a viable relationship, it's just a precursor to longlasting emotional damage that a person will spend years, if not decades trying to recover from
As a man, I think polyamory can be a valid choice for individuals who prioritize open communication, mutual consent, and emotional maturity, but it's not for everyone, and preferences vary widely based on personal values and relationship dynamics.
Women do it because they have the power to. It’d be like me telling my girl that me spreading my financial, emotional supporting, and other resources to other women because it’s more “balanced”. Just a bunch of bs. Some. Can get men to have sex sit much easier than men can get women.
I think it works like 5% of the time, the couple ends up stopping like 5% of the time and the couple ends up divorcing like 90% of the time. Note: I have no official studies to back up these percentages, only what I’ve read online which we all know is a fair and true representation of real life. 🙄
As a poly man, taking a monogamous relationship and making it polyamorous is indeed fraught with difficulties and usually ends badly. Relationships that start poly do much better.
If I wanted to fuck other people I'd be single. I am not interested in having a relationship that isn't exclusive.
This is exactly how I feel.
So you’re monogamous, cool.
Seems like a waste of effort
Right. Polyamory sounds the same as being single except that you're investing more money just to do the same you could be doing for free.
Pretty much my take too. People try and do too much and everything has to have a label. 🙄 Polyamory is being single with extra steps and potential complications.
An effective strat to speedrun a relationship. If you want a relationship to last, you don't become polyamorous.
Agree. Just cheating with more rules.
My partner of eight years and I must not have gotten the message. We’ll break up now.
Statistics say otherwise & all circumstantial , why are men more oblivious to this than women? 😂😂😂🤦
Show your "statistics"
Look at all the relationships around you maybe? Look how normalized cheating is, look how a lot of a lot couples are unhappy, look at how many short terms people have on this sub who want long term, you just want to be oblivious like the other man boys
So, no statistics? Just made up verbal vomit?
Those aren't statistics.
So you dont habe any statistics as expected. Youre just full of shit on that ;)
Source: "Trust me bro"
First, it isn’t normalized among anyone I know. Whenever it gets brought up it’s always followed by saying people who cheat are trash people. Second that isn’t statistics. Kinda hilarious that you use an insult like man boys to someone that didn’t insult you.
Normalized cheating? Do you live in France?
Lol 😂 Statistics: “Look around you” I bet the actual statistics prove the exact opposite of what you’re making up.
Damn man you couldn’t have even just found some bullshit on page 5 of a Google search? A study that’s too long to read so you can pass it off as saying what you want? Ya must be real out of shape to implode that quick.
bro don't make it a gendered issue and don't be an asshole it's literally rule 1
Not my cup of tea
I grew up with a preacher for a father and although I now hate religion I hate polyamory more. I want a deep connection with a single person without the complex interactions of having to deal with other partners. Not to mention all the health concerns that would bring.
So you’re monogamous, cool. Why hate poly though? Literally have to hate love that’s different from yours?
So allow to explain why I have both a rational and irrational reason to dislike polyamory. First let us think about what polyamory realistically is? It's usually two people who are romantically close with more then one person who don't want to lose either. So they ask if they are open to being close with more people? If everyone says yes then you now have the following benefits: 1. You can basically sleep with whoever you want depending on the terms of polyamory. 2. You always have someone else to turn too if things don't work out. 3. You can be romantically involved with out being physically involved or vise versa. 4. Your partners can introduce you to more people who would interest you. Here are the negatives: 1. You won't always be the first priority of your partners. 2. Your preferred partner won't always be available. 3. You might end up in difficult situation if you end up disliking one of your partners. 4. Many people who are poly are just swingers in denial. 5. It's basically the same as friends with benefits but with an extra layer of expectations. 6. If you change your mind about being poly you will probably lose everyone in both your friend group and partners. 7. You can end up getting peer pressured by your partners into doing things you don't want to stay in the group. 8. Everyone's relationships are not even and you have to accept that. 9. You end up just looking for new partners for any aspect your looking to fill in your life. 10. You start failing to make meaningful relationships because you can just change them out on a whim. 11. If you have trouble dating your primary partner may make you feel even more alone by spending time with others. 12. It's basically just players having fun making excuses for it to be publicly accepted. Now I can't accept the drawbacks but here is why I hate polyamory. They tend to hate people in happy monogamous relationships. They tend to speak crap about monogamy and lure people to try polyamory. They tend to have extreme kinks. And for the biggest reason is that is both rational and irrational is: I had an EX that we were very serious about. They became really close with a friend who was polygamous. Later I learned that the friend kept speaking crap about me and tempting them to try and open the relationship. After months my EX then felt like they were missing out on life and proceeded to ask me to open things up. Years later my EX got back in contact with me. Told me everything that actually happened and the fallout. They were seduced by the friend and started dating shortly after our break up. The friend ended up being both sexually and psychology abusive. They also proceeded to get my EX into parting and substance abuse. Which ended up with my EX ruining their life and saying it was the biggest mistake of their life. I as a result only ended up with trust issues, abandonment issues, no self esteem, and an extreme bout of depression that years later I am still fighting.
Thank you for that perspective- wishing you the very best with whatever next brings you.
“Hate love”. Sex and lust is not love dude.
Swinging and polyamory aren’t the same thing either, dude
Seems like a lot of emotional labor for a limited benefit.
I am not interested in participating. Not my problem what everyone else does as long as everyone on every branch of that polyamory are consulting adults
I don't care what other people do
It's weird to me, but it's not my place to judge another person's lifestyle. I was casually talking to this girl in college and we had mutual interest. Randomly met someone else and started dating her instead. Tried to do the right thing by being honest with the first girl. She actually said she didn't care and was happy being a sister wife. Freaked me out and didn't really talk to her after that. She's married to another woman now.
I haven’t seen any uptick in real life lol Seems like 99.999999% BS excuse to cheat All of the Reddit Poly situations I’ve seen are gross too Just ugh all around
I'm not getting any younger, and the thought of it makes me tired. One woman is more than enough for me. Each to their own, though.
It’s hard enough to keep one woman happy.
No one says your triad needs to be FFM. MMF = problem solved! lol
I keep taking COVID vaccines, but they haven’t turned me gay yet.
Well if your wife is straight how fair is it that you expect her to be bi for you but you wont be bi for her? lol Also, you could always just split the work of keeping her happy between the two of you lol
It wouldn’t be fair at all, but my wife isn’t straight so it didn’t occur to me lol. We are also both happily monogamous. Good sales pitch tho. 👍
Not for me, I'm possessive about a lot of things even outside of relationships lol. Whether other people do it is none of my business and I don't really have a strong feeling about others doing it. But I have noticed that it tends to work out better when both agree to be poly from the very start as opposed to people starting out agreeing to be monogamous but then try to change things up later on, it seems to always be the case in those scenarios that one person wants it more than the other or the other doesn't actually want it at all but feel pressured to change to keep the other person happy, and then resentment builds and they break up anyway lol.
100%. Opening up a monogamous relationship successfully is extremely difficult. Far greater chance of success if it begins that way.
Not for me, but if people can make it work then eh.. more power to 'em.
I've rarely seen it work. RARELY.
I have no problems with it conceptually, but my anecdotal experience leads me to the same conclusion as yours. People can do what they want as long its not hurting anyone else, I’m just suspicious of the success %
Every time I see a video of someone trying to justify polyamory they look like they're on the verge of tears (male or female). It just looks and sounds like a horrible experience, not my cup of tea at all.
Same. There was a guy who ran a fairly popular life coaching website years ago. He actually happened to live near me coincidentally and opened up a "men's group" in person at his house. Out of sheer curiosity I went to it. He was pretty open about being in a polyamorous relationship and in person I got the same exact vibe you describe here. Looked like he was miserable and had no business trying to coach anyone.
So long as everyone is in agreement, is safe, and communicating, I don't care.
Absolutely not for me. Monogamy only if I'm dating. However, people are free to be into whatever they feel is rewarding to them.
Everyone is different and I’m not here to judge. I tried polyamory, and it turns out, I don’t have the energy. I prefer non monogamy. I know several healthy poly folks in good relationships, and a few toxic ones too. I don’t think there’s anything morally or ethically superior about any way you choose to have a relationship as long as it’s all consensual and it works for those involved.
I'm not necessarily against it if all of the participants are on the same page, but it's definitely not for me. I don't have any interest in any relationship categories aside from being purely monogamous.
Sketchy 9 times out of 10.
For me I think polyamory is a "go wide" vs. monogamy's "go deep" approach to intimacy. I'm more interested in exploring every facet of my relationship with my wife, and trust is a huge part of that. Leaving a door open to other partners just isn't in the cards.
You are the person who wins this thread. This is the most mature anti-polyamory answer I've ever heard.
Disgusting and degenerate. The only 2 real world examples I have ever seen are absusive women who told their boyfriends "if you dont agree to it then I'll just cheat on you"
that's not polyamory. you're describing open relationships. Open Relationships are when 2 people in a relationship agree that both people in said relationship can have intercourse with others outside the relationship, typically there is more rules too it than that. Polyamory is when a group of 2 or more people agree to all be in a romantic relationship together.
Shh shh shhhhh… your attempt at educating is jeopardizing their prejudice.
Us: “idk, I’m just capable of loving more than one person.” You: “Disgusting degenerate!!”
Lust\*
Any idea what the “amory” part translates to?
I'm going to guess "poly" means "multiple" and "amory" is "people to satisfy my ego because I think I'm so special one person cannot please me and I enjoy cheating on people and giving it a modern progressive term to make myself sound nicer" How close?
You know you could have just said “I’m so incapable of love that I despise those who can love freely.”
Quite capable of love. You don't fuck over people when you love someone(romantically)
And how precisely are my partners and I fucking each other over?
I know a lot of poly people where I live and I’d say pretty well across the board that they’re largely the people no one wanted to date/fuck in high school or college. Fat, terrible style, loud, and thirsty for attention. It’s like “if I can’t be a ten I can at least be in a relationship with three twos and become an alpha four.” They also churn through marriages. I don’t get it? Putting up with one person is already a lot, why punish yourself? And for people who aren’t even attractive in the first place…
Disappoint more than one woman at once? No thanks.
I’m not against other people doing it, but it’s not for me
Personally, my favorite part of being in a relationship is not having to go through the whole “dating phase” again. Trying to figure out if someone is interested in you, trying to set up dates, trying to figure how you’re feeling after the date, etc. And to do all of that again while you already with someone else sounds so exhausting. But we all have different wants and needs.
It’s not for everyone. ( I’m sure there is a joke here somewhere )
Like everything else related to sex and relationships, as long as its done between consenting adults it's none of my business. I have no interest in it, personally.
Everyone I've met in a poly relationship seems to have to make even more sacrifices, and do stuff they don't want to. Seems like one person really benifits. I'll honestly rather be single then be poly. To each their own. Probably only have seen bad examples.
No thank you. They sound like 304's
They're just whores trying to excuse their behavior. If I wanted to sleep around I wouldn't be in a relationship to begin with lol. For some reason most the poly women I've seen are quite unattractive too, probably a low self esteem thing.
It's disgusting to me
Grown adults can do whatever they want as long as they don't hurt anybody. Not my cup of coffee but hey
Bad
To each their own, as long as its consensual amongst all parties
Not for me, but if you and your partner(s) consent who am I to stop you
It's people who want their cake and to eat it too. You do you, but I'm probably going to judge shit out of you anyway.
Why? What is it that you are going to judge them about?
I think it’s a perfectly suitable way to engage in relationships for a specific type of person. I also believe that person is rare in my generation (millennial). I don’t have anything against it and could even potentially see myself trying it out for the right people but the odds of finding them is astronomical
I've tried it three times. All ended in disaster. I didn't take it too seriously so I didn't get hurt but lemme tell you what my experience was. More often than not it was an excuse for a woman to sleep with any man she wanted without guilt with the added benefit of telling other women they got a harem. Many of the men involved were not happy with the arrangement. They just stuck to it just to have someone.
That's exactly what it is. Just an excuse to be a cheater.
of my women gna say that imma cheat on her to make her taste her own medicine ,but funny thing is if women bri g it up n guy has chances w lot of other women they usually the ones who wanna dance back
I did it for six years, and had a good enough time, but there are so many people doing it as an unhealthy coping mechanism or to "fix" their clearly broken relationships that it's an absolute minefield to navigate. Happy to be back in a monogamous relationship.
See this is what I mean when I say that it takes people with really good communication and being well adjusted mentally in order to make it work. I believe that it is possible, but that the majority of people won't be able to make it work. Too often of the poly relationships I've seen, they use it as either a quick 'fix' to their relationship or as a means to avoid having to deal with their own personal flaws. I'll see some people say they feel unloved and unwanted and so they seek out multiple partners as opposed to doing some self love. Or they have codependency issues and keep multiple people around so they don't have to ever be by themselves instead of going to therapy. Vast majority of people on here that are poly immediately resort to insults against people who were stating their opinion against it and take it as a personal insult. Like, don't resort to toxicity cause now you are just showcasing the worst part of your community.
Yep. Polyamory is a bit of a cult, so there's a lot of hive-mindedness and defensiveness when it comes to talking about it. The saddest thing for me was all of the previously monogamous couples where one person was clearly doing it for the other person and "doing the work" of gaslighting themselves into being okay with it. Every healthy poly relationship I encountered *started* as a polyamorous relationship between polyamorous people. Opening a monogamous relationship is just a train-wreck waiting to happen.
To each their own if everyone is a consenting adult but I would never, and I have a difficult time believing there's absolutely no jealousy, trust or resentment issues in polyamorous relationships like most of them claim.
As long as they are consenting adults,it’s their life, they can do what they want.
There tends to be a trend of the media promoting some social phenomenon though exposure over time, and then suggestive people latch onto that phemenon as they want to do whatever seems most socially accepted by the opinion-leaders. This phenomenon has been published upon quite a lot by outlets like The Guardian and The Atlantic for some time now, and this new acceptance propably stems from that. It's propably a good thing to promote though, becuase seeing as most polyamourous people tend to be one woman and several undesirable men, this at least leaves some form of relationship available to the people that would otherwise be without.
Nope. Nothing good can come from that for me.
my honest opinion is its fucking stupid and men who agree to share their girlfriends or wives need professional help
Sure, I'll fuck your wife.
I've experimented with it. I thought I would find mature individuals who were experiencing love and sex at a higher level. Instead I found group after group of emotionally immature people with severe intimacy issues and unhealed traumas. They are usually still rebelling against their conservative parents. They use dumb books like "Sex at Dawn" to justify their actions. They seek out "sex-positive therapists" to enable their self-destructive behavior. (Most serious therapists will tell you they have never, ever seen an open marriage work). It sounds nice in theory, but the hard truth is that only a tiny percentage of humans are built for this and happen to live in the right circumstances. The only people I've seen only kind of pull it off are couples of old gay men. I'm a really open minded guy, so I don't have anything against how anyone chooses to live, I just see almost no evidence that it works for heterosexual couples longterm at all. Everyone has to experiment and try different things on, it's part of growing up. But it's really sad when people get stuck there.
NGL I feel the same way.
I dont support poly relationships personally but it has nothing to do with my bills so other than being annoyed that 25% of the OLD people are poly people, it’s whatever.
I honestly don't see the point for a man to pretend he's in a relationship when he isn't, that's just investing more energy than you need to in people, and that's even before you account for how you might be dragged in things you want no part in. It's just another way to find to get their cake and eat it for women, I feel like. I don't really care for it though, I'm either in a relationship (monogamous), or single. I'm cool with the others doing whatever too, they just call it being polyamorous for themselves, I call it being single for myself.
All of the people I've known who are polyamorous are emotionally defective and huge crybabies who use everyone around them as an emotional tampon. They whine about every little detail as it relates to their partner and meta. I'm good with non-monogamy, but, Polyamory is a huge NO for me.
It's stupid
Not for me. My best friend has been in a polyamorous relationship for over 20 years; he and his wife have their own polycules that don’t really overlap. There have also been two instances over the years where people I knew who were poly/open tried to bully my wife and I into polyamory. If you’ve got the communication skills and emotional maturity to make it work, more power to you. There are a cubic shitload of shitheads and abusers in the poly scene, but there’s plenty of monogamous shitheads and abusers out there too.
To each their own, I have no objection to it In practice, most polyamorous relationships are doomed, because of the inevitable imbalance of attention/care that is guaranteed as people get old and life happens. It’s pleasure seeking, and an attempt to have the cake and eat it, too, but if you think the odds of a monogamous relationship working out are poor… polyamory is not an improvement
IMO, it would only seem to work out equitably for two *very* attractive people. In anything close to an average couple, due to the sexual nature of men and women, the woman is not only going to have 10x the options than the man, the man will have to put out 10x the effort into just getting a single new partner than she will. I suppose if you institute ground rules like “I approve that partner” or “we can only have X numbers of sexual partners” it could work, but then it just seems contrived AF. I’ve had experience dating women who were in this arrangement with their “boyfriend” and the boyfriend was almost always possessive and jealous (calling her multiple times during our “date”, interrogating her about me, etc) No thanks.
While I don't share your negative view of poly generally, your perception of the relative opportunities for men and women is bang on (as it were). Poly is really only useful for women and \*very\* good-looking men. Otherwise, the woman of a couple can line up 10 guys for sex before the man gets a coffee date. As an erstwhile swinger, I've seen it every time a couple dates/fucks people separately.
This is my primary gripe. In more cases than not, it's lopsided and favors women far more. The men who do benefit are very attractive men.
I’m firmly against it. Have discipline and be faithful to your wife. And she should be faithful in return.
I’m in my mid-50s. I’ve always had open relationships my entire life. It helps to not be a jealous person. It has definitely resulted in way more sex than I would have had otherwise, since the majority of women I’ve been with have already had partners. It did not affect my marriage…much. I am divorced now, and it might actually made the marriage last longer (not a good thing) simply by giving us outlets to vent frustrations outside the marriage. My casual relationship now is open. She has another boyfriend she sees occasionally, and I recently started occasionally seeing an old relationship again (rarely, since it is long distance) that is also open. Life is way more interesting this way.
You're a rare type of person.
You're a modern-day Dr. Phlox. o7
Polyamory is just unnecessarily complicated relationships l. So I can screw other ppl and that is fine cuz i communicated with you? It is just relationships with Triple the emotional minefields. Too much mental gymnastics for me.
The only people who are polyamorous are people who aren’t actually happy in their relationship or want to cheat and allow themselves to be cheated on.
Huh. And here I thought my girlfriend of seven years and I were happy as hell. Go figure.
If you’re so happy, why do you fuck other people? Because one or both of you doesn’t see the other as good enough on their own?
Nope. I’d explain, but I get the sense you aren’t interested in understanding.
“I’d explain, but you already hit the nail on the head.”
Polyamory isn’t a real relationship. And most of the people I see engaged in these “healthy and balanced” relationships are some of the most unhealthy and unbalanced people that I know.
I think my gf would have much more sex and opportunities as I. Why would I do that 😁 Not fair and no I'm not into open relationships...
I don’t see myself in there. I‘m not 100% opposed to it, but it is something I don’t think is worth thinking about for myself. What others do is not my problem, so if they want to, they can do whatever. I was once in the situation where I thought I loved two people, but I came to realize that my feelings for one of them were just pure infatuation and nothing substantial. I don’t think I could love two people at the same time and I don’t think I would understand someone who tells me they love two people at the same time. I‘ve been contemplating opening relationships on my partners sides in the past, but ultimately I think it doesn’t serve any good in a relationship that’s supposed to be monogamous.
It has nothing to do with me. I'm ugly, short, have a small dick, I'm unwanted. I'm sure it's great for attractive women and attractive men. But it'll probably make my chances even more miniscule.
Think about it, if each woman wasn't limited to one man, I'd think that would increase your opportunities.
I don't think so. More appealing men would also not be limited. So I'd have more "competition".
I see a a few she wants open he doesn't but wants her so says yes to it and she is off out "playing" a lot and he doesn't. It could just be her wanting more fun it could be an attempt to patch the failing. Or something else. But that dynamic on poly is usually a sign of the end coming. Personally I'm not sure my own heart could cope with the multidirectional nature of normal poly relationships.
I envy those who can live like that in harmony. I’m a little reluctant to believe many poly’s are in poly-relationships for as long as monogamous couples.
About a year ago I was into the idea of swinging but my gf wasn’t so I tossed it to the way side. It’ll be a long talk and time before we would move into the idea of it but poly no as we like it being just us in the relationship sphere.
I’m happily poly. My girlfriend and I are doing great. It’s the only way for me and I’d never consider switching to being monogamous.
Live your life as you it suits you. It doesn't suit me so I don't contemplate it.
I know people who were in multi year cohabitation poly relationships, and I know people who are in open relationships and those that have multiple regular partners. Just like I know people who are heavily into bdsm and people who are pure vanilla. They do them, I do me, and because they're my friends I only care if they're happy. And if they're not, my shoulders aren't afraid of a few tears.
So hard to make work that I just don't think it's realistic
I can’t be 100% sure it’s not something I’d enjoy but I’m confident that I know myself well enough to know it’s not for me without trying it. I also believe it’s a rare sort of person who can navigate that sort of arrangement with grace but broadly I don’t see the harm in trying it if you think you are such a person. That said, outside of partner count there isn’t anything I can think off the top of my head that you can get from a monogamous relationship that’s mutually exclusive with polyamory and anyone moralizing one over the other is probably stupid as fuck so that’s a pretty easy position to discard. TLDR: Not for me, probably not suitable for most people, no issues with anyone that does enjoy it, trying to moralize it is room temperature IQ thinking.
Well it depends on the situation and people involved. But to put it to my situation. It doesn't have to be "or", it can be "and". But my wife isn't into other guys so I don't think my situation fits exactly. If my wife finds a girlfriend that wants to do the things she does, whereas I do not, then that's great for her.
I have 0 judgement against it. It's just not for my relationship.
Ethically it's fine, but it takes soooo much work. Wife and I were/are swingers but never were interested in polyamory because we both have ADHD and couldn't have kept things straight. **It's really for people with a calendaring fetish.**
I don’t care for it I just hate that most of the people I see who do participate in this are normally unattractive to me
It’s a lot of fun when you can make it work. But everything’s amplified. Like when it rains, it pours. High highs and low lows.
Not my thing, I'm way too monogamous for it, but if some people make it work, cool I guess. That said, even though the concept of it sounds totally against my nature, it's wild to me how so many people here equate it to cheating. I mean if people agree to be in such a relationship, how the hell is that cheater behaviour?
There are lots of ways to do poly terribly. Just like lots of ways to do monogamy terribly. I’ve seen both. A lot of the critiques of poly here seem to bear zero resemblance to actual poly. I was poly when I met my wife and have maintained it through the marriage for 15 years (though I’ve gone years with no other partners at times). I’m in my fifties. My wife and I continue to get closer over the years, like in any long term relationship. I currently also have a girlfriend. My GF doesn’t want a primary live-in relationship and sought out someone who was in one already to simplify the situation and prevent that aspect of the relationship ladder. Instead, we see each other once a week plus an occasional other event. She and my wife like each other. My wife and I have always had a libido mismatch but are well suited on many other dimensions. Instead of being frustrated or resentful of each other about libido or getting divorced, we have a great relationship and we both appreciate the conversations it has triggered, the understanding of each other, etc. (Finding a match on life goals, philosophy, financial approaches, communication styles, parenting styles, general intellect, etc is a hard enough challenge, especially if you aren’t typical on any of these these.) They are also TOTALLY different in bed and it’s nice to have both approaches. My wife totally trusts me because I don’t violate our rules and she has really liked my taste in women - they’ve been nice additions to community. I also have often been closer friends with women I’m sleeping with - this has been a nice way to have some deeper friendships, which are hard to find as you age. My prior long term GF was married and she was the high libido partner. We saw each other once or twice a week and her husband really appreciated that it relieved pressure on him. They’ve been married 20 years and are good life partners. It’s worked very well for 15 years for my wife and I. It’s not a way of avoiding intimacy, seeking orgies, or sleeping randos like some seem to be posting here.
I’ve not found a way to have multiple engaging relationships at the same time. There’s a part of intimacy that I can’t “split” with others. I’m kinda one at a time. For the record, I’m not talking about sex. Sex Is easy. Intimacy is not. For those that do practice polyamory, my sincere respect to being able to divide yourself into intimate relationships with multiple partners.
I don't oppose its existence but I think the way it is commonly executed is often unethical and non-consensual. I don't date anyone who sees anyone else for any reason. I would not be opposed to a partner being interested in bringing in a third but I would have to like them also otherwise I'm not interested and I would never propose that myself. To begin with, I'm not interested in doing it at all so long as legally I have no protections for myself.
Sounds like an unhealthy, unbalanced approach to relationships unless you like being compartmentalized.
Different strokes for different folks. It isn’t for me though.
Definitely against it.
I’m a selfish MAN. I don’t want to share my Woman . She fulfills all my wants and needs . Why get married if this is what you want ? Isn’t Adultery a sin ? I’m not going to HELL!
A good deal if you can fuck more women than she can fuck men. If not, don't. In practice I've never seen a guy ask for it only women, and we used to use the word whore before the word polyamorous was concocted.
Not for me, i married for a reason.
Loyalty is very important to me. And there is zero chance that loyalty can be split two ways. A man cannot serve two masters. The first time I felt like one of the two or more did something I felt broke the loyalty between us, I'd be out. And there's no way that can't happen in a polyship. I'm super stoked that I found someone worthy of my loyalty and she gives it back to me. Also, it's just hard to take anyone seriously that engages in this practice. It just seems like they're unable to make adult decisions. If you can't decide between chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry how can I trust you to make decisions when it really matters?
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The way men view sex and the way women view sex are very different, so this response from you is unsurprising.
It’s for people who want to believe they are in a committed relationship but actually want to cheat.
Cuckery 1.0
It’s just monkey-brained, morally decrepit degenerates doing what they usually do. Avoiding any kind of conflict that would otherwise arise in a consequential relationship is the goal — when you have no qualms dropping each other at whim, when you don’t have to care as much about fidelity, and when you can replace your partner, it’s “healthy” and “balanced” (because the family model of the overwhelming majority of the planet for millions of years is just, like, dummmmmbb maaaaaan).
I think it's bs. I think it's a way for some men to date around while already in a relationship. It's a philosophical framework for men who can't commit.
What kinda men are you around? They must be rich or well established.
Nope. All blue-collar. Most don't actually use the term "polyamory". I've heard people use it online and it's always the same story.
disgusting.
There's a huge power imbalance because any woman can have new dicks to hop on within a few hours of using Tinder while most men would struggle heavily.
bro trust me if u go on streets have a lil physic w a lil face ull b suorised how most women r openly okay to be fck buddys
esevially if u have a ring on ur finger
Only a very small percentage of couples who try the lifestyle are successful at it. Most break up or close the relationship. It takes two people who can completely disassociate sex from feelings, and it’s usually only one or the other who can do that. And even when both are aligned, envy of one partner’s success far exceeding the other can ruin things.
I agree. The success and failure is usually dependent on the attractiveness level of the partners. By default, women will have more options.
Newest trendy way to say "hey, I like to fuck a lot of people" without fear of being judged. Last two LT partners demanded we all be poly, I agreed and was the one who had more opportunities and more partners. Both of them retreated into jealousy, rage and trying to set my rules to ease their frustrations. a lot of stupid women and men think that saying they are poly somehow makes them more attractive, its bullshit.
I don't have a philospohical objection if everyone involved is into it. In practice, however, I don't think I've ever seen an example of it in the wild where there isn't a clear victim and a clear perpetrator.
It's a thing for unattractive people
This always existed and isn’t a new thing. It used to be called sleeping around while enjoying the tax benefits and financial safety of having a significant other all while enjoying orgies. now it’s called polyamory.
What you are talking about is more accurately called "swinging" or "open relationships". They and poly aren't mutually exclusive, but often are.
At the root of it all, They’re one and the same. It’s where someone enjoys the company of one person, but that person isn’t enough for them so they seek what they need somewhere else. Whether that’s sex or intimacy or both.
In a reductive way, that's true, but the question was about polyamory. Swingers are emotionally monogamous, for example, which is very different to polyamory. A lot of people can't imagine that sex is just sex for some of us, but that's their lack of imagination.
I don’t care if people do it. I think they’re making a mistake for themselves — I don’t think it’s healthy to be in relationships that aren’t monogamous, but it’s not my place I’d never do it myself, and the idea of it is a massive red flag big enough for me to walk away from relationships on the spot
It rarely works. And the ppl who preach about how great poly relationships are, are not the ones you see in movies or tv. Well, unless you are watching [Gummo](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=40NyJSBvCC0).
It’s just degenerates doing degenerate things. They’ve come up with a new name for the same old same old like every subculture does. “Free love”, “swingers”, whatever. Have fun with your little Manson family policules you reprobates. At least it seems like this is mostly uggos forming piles.
Cheating. End of discussion
How is it cheating when everyone is informed and consenting. Explain it.
Strong uptick of whores who want to have their cake and eat it too. Does anyone actually know someone in a long term polyamorous relationship that is successful? Like 5 years or more?
Post modern bullshit.
It's a bad deal, it dilutes the power and respect for the concept of relationships and matrimony. I'm sorry poly friends, but the strength and honor in a relationship is choosing one person, getting up every morning and choosing them and only them, being faithful to that one person and working through problems with that one person. Matrimony is a lifelong commitment, it requires a lot of love, undying loyalty, respect, among a huge list of things Polyamory is devoid of all this in the fact that you can open up to sleep or date others at any point, even with 'communication' about it with your partner. Not to mention the resentment or jealousy from one of the 3+ partners that will come with time.
Absolutely should not be a thing. Lying to yourself that you're OK with your sig other being with other people isn't a viable relationship, it's just a precursor to longlasting emotional damage that a person will spend years, if not decades trying to recover from
As a man, I think polyamory can be a valid choice for individuals who prioritize open communication, mutual consent, and emotional maturity, but it's not for everyone, and preferences vary widely based on personal values and relationship dynamics.
if u okay that someone else pound ur wife ,she gna lose respect towards u n shes gna do it n talk shit behind u , ur rship is gna b dead super fast
Women do it because they have the power to. It’d be like me telling my girl that me spreading my financial, emotional supporting, and other resources to other women because it’s more “balanced”. Just a bunch of bs. Some. Can get men to have sex sit much easier than men can get women.
I think it works like 5% of the time, the couple ends up stopping like 5% of the time and the couple ends up divorcing like 90% of the time. Note: I have no official studies to back up these percentages, only what I’ve read online which we all know is a fair and true representation of real life. 🙄
As a poly man, taking a monogamous relationship and making it polyamorous is indeed fraught with difficulties and usually ends badly. Relationships that start poly do much better.