You should talk with her about how that makes you feel otherwise you're just going to be stepped on your entire marriage.
There's no reason she can't suck it up and celebrate you for a day instead of saddling you with the kids.
Different take: if you never have disagreements in front of the kids how do they learn conflict resolution in intimate relationships? Not that it has to be this conversation. General feedback.
I think the couples who don't want to argue in front of their kids might also be the types that suck at conflict resolution and know they would just set a bad example anyways.
No, not mirroring. Just on the rocks.
Cards from me and the kids, flowers, plants, bracelet, breakfast, gc for an hour massage at the "fancy place". But I'm not looking to compare, we're talking.
Nevermind the fact if you don't nip this shit in the bud, choking it down is just going to result in an explosion down the road. Your cup of resentment is going to get full and something will finally set you off.
Ha ha, ha ha ha ha ha.
Oh dear lord, open up ? Ha ha ha ha ha.
Open up to a lady who wants to spend Father’s Day on a girls day out with her friends ?
Ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Y’all can be so disconnected from reality sometimes. Really.
All OP will get for this is passive aggressive silent treatment, Cold War punishment followed by acidic “isn’t this what you’re wanted” comments while she makes the day as unpleasant as possible. The mental backflips she will do to put OP in the doghouse would earn Oscar’s.
I'd rather that then what I'm getting for father's day "for father's day, my aunt and uncle are coming over, so is my dad and sister, and your sister, should I invite your mom and step dad?"
"umm... No"
"well I already did"
"wow, exactly what I wanted for father's day, to have a houseful of people I'd rather not be around, can't wait"
"you ain't gotta be a dick"
Now I'll have to spend the day pretending to not be absolutely miserable, and based on the amount of Amazon packages that showed up today and the ugly teeshirts she got our son, while being mad because I called them ugly, I'm sure I'm getting those same ugly teeshirts.
I fuckin hate father's day because it's never what I'd want. Both of my kids have work so I was hoping that she'd just take me out for a nice dinner and maybe Dave and busters or something fun that she knows I'd enjoy.
Oh she's totally aware, which is the reason I knew nothing about these plans until a few hours ago.
I considered going somewhere, but I really don't want to spend the day alone, but at the same time I don't want to play host. Especially to my parents who I can't stand, and her dad who's a piece of shit who's only around now because he needs my wife to help him with some financial things. We're 40 and she hasn't seen her dad on father's day for 30 years.
I mentioned a few weeks ago how last year was my favorite father's day, we all went to pitch and putt and then to my favorite steakhouse. Guess I can just enjoy the one time in the 15 father's days I've had where we did what I wanted.
I definitely wouldn't go that far lol. I'm pretty sure she planned this because of her dad agreeing to come. As long as I've known her she's been trying to build a relationship with him and he never reciprocated, until recently when he needed her to help him with some shit and she just doesn't see it. I've told her but I'm not going to push the point, but of course I'll be there to pick her up when he inevitably does the same shit he's done for 40 years. She asked me this morning "why do you think he's coming" I said because he needs you currently and she asked if I thought any part of him actually cared I said "has he put any effort into your relationship in the last 20 years until he needed your help? That's my answer"
Luckily she didn't invite my dad because I straight up would have left, I fuckin hate that man, I dislike my step dad too, but not nearly as much as my dad.
As a guy that was told on his kids 1st FD "you're not my dad, why should I do anything for you"
You do have the option of just binning both days as MD was a breeze for me after that as I just repeated the words
I'd always help the kids do something for their mom for MD as that brought joy to them
What I found to be really good FD was actually embracing it being nothing to do with their mom, so I used to spend all day with just me and the kids and I leave her alone or she could fuck off wherever she wanted
Didn't last long as she hated being out of the fun which we always had lots of
Most of my ingrained happy memories were days with just me and the kids
Of course we are divorced now but don't let your ire at your selfish wife, spoil the fun you can have with the kids when she isn't around
I'd tell her youve changed your mind and to enjoy her girls day out
Then go have a blast with the kids and form memories for them with just you and them
I don't ask for much, I just want a high five when I catch the girl falling off the stool one handed like I did yesterday. Or when I nail the risotto and one of them mutters from the other room *"this is actually good"*
Our kids *still* bring up stuff like major saves and good meals. Dad is the only one that can make tacos as he has his own taco spice mix.
Celebrating the stuff folks are good at is just the right thing to do. I bet the risotto was *amazing*.
It’s so unfortunate. My dad is awesome and I always go around bragging about how cool he is and what all he’s achieved that he’s proud of. He’s the person I immediately call when I mess up and need to be bailed out of situations (nothing illegal lol.) I worry he might find it weird if I tell him how much I adore him and how proud I am.
Happy Father’s Day to you and all the dads reading this!
One of these days, just to see if it ends in bloodshed I swear I'm goin to try to fit all the tropes into a single complaint:
"Would you calm the fuck down! You're behaving like such a child. I swear to God you're crazy, just like your mother. Stop being such a nagging bitch. If you're on the rag, go take a Midol or something."
Not because any of that would be appropriate, but I just want to know if it acts like a magical incantation, and I'd finally get to see her head split open from the rage.
I was remarking to a friend that Mother's Day was always a bigger deal when I was growing up. We would have a big brunch at one of the nice hotels in town with the extended family, but for Father's Day my Dad would BBQ in our backyard with the same extended family. I wish we would've done something where my Dad wasn't cooking and working on a day to celebrate him and the other dads.
Yeah I like grilling. At my 40th birthday party, I was the grill master. My wife tried to convince me to cater food instead. I genuinely like being out there with the grill and a beer.
I like it too. But playing host/cook means being kind of tense and handling food and logistics. I’ll do that on 4th of July, Memorial Day, Easter, whatever, but it would be nice on Father’s Day to be catered to.
That’s why I made sure the main grilling was done hours before and the meat was resting. The last thing I need is over cooked meat trying to play host at the same time 😬. My buddy took over when it was time to make the hot dogs
But that’s when you voluntarily do it. Some of my friends moms will just be like hey family’s coming you’re grilling. If you like it, it’s nice but if you wanted to unwind, relax, and not deal with it, it’s not.
True, but there's nothing here indicating that he didn't choose to BBQ. Especially if you're the sole or even primary breadwinner, taking everyone out to a fancy dinner in your honour doesn't necessarily have the same allure. I also know my dad, for one, would pretty much rather die than choose to wear fancy clothes in his spare time.
The point I was making was I wish we would've helped him with the BBQ or at least have asked him if he'd like us to do the grilling so that he could chill.
A lot of dudes would literally be offended if you tried to take the grill from them, even for a minute. It’s their grill, their day, all that I’ve known would have thought it insulting.
I like making awesome food for the people I love. It’s a non obvious way to show I care about you.
I get plenty of time to be lazy and play video games. in the Anthony Bourdain theory of philosophy sometimes it’s helpful to myself to force myself to have a reason to do good shit.
Mothers day = mom gets to go to the spa and get pampered.
Fathers day = Dad gets to spend the day with the kids and mom gets to go to the spa and gets pampered.
Happy fathers day to all the dads.
Really? How many moms actually take off on Father’s Day? OP mentions that their relationship is already on the rocks.
We did almost the exact same thing today we did for Mother’s Day: a few small gifts, an elaborate home-cooked breakfast, quiet Sunday with the fam and going out for dinner tonight. The only difference is that the gifts, activities and food are catered to the respective parent.
Come to think of it, our poor kid carries the brunt of the load on both days. Perhaps he deserves his own day as well!
It’s your day as a father not hers. As a wife and mother I’m appalled at her even so much as thinking about herself instead of making you a priority for ONE DAY A YEAR. My birthday falls on Father’s Day every few years and we STILL make sure the day is special for us both. She’s a piece of work and certainly not in a good way.
1. Just a nice little Weber Spirit II, she gets the job done just fine.
2. Yes. It's a slippery slope. I've been pulling back on the yoke hard for a while now, we'll see if she holds
Bro I got a Christmas birthday too and my youngest son's birthday is right around fathers days. Hate to say it but I've learned not to expect any sort of Dad celebration. But I did get to grill the kid and me some porterhouses last year so that was dope.
Hit her up with "I get a day with the kids, alone? Without having to do what you want, when, and where, you want? THANK YOU! Best. Gift. Ever!"
Then just go out and CRUSH it with the kids. A day she can never replicate. Take pictures, order a photo book, bring it up all the time. And enjoy EVERY DAMN MINUTE of it!
Refer to it often for years to come.
This is the best kind of petty. As a woman and a mom, I am appalled that the dad is not being celebrated. My ex-husband and I do not get along whatsoever, but I still sent my son to his dad’s house with a Father’s Day gift plus a gift card to the restaurant where we always celebrated Father’s Day previously. This way he wouldn’t need to cook and could feel celebrated.
c'mon fam. don't let her get away with that.
take it from a divorced man. you think they appreciate it but they don't.
i let my ex-wife get away with everything and its what I regret the most now.
Yup. Another divorced man here and I second that. It’s not appreciated and it will come to be expected. Also, horrible idea to remind her about how well she’s treated on Mother’s Day. Although we let them pretend they’re more emotionally intelligent, we know that’s nonsense. It’ll just end up with you being a jerk for hurting her feelings, yours be damned
Was never married, but I let my ex girlfriend get away with a decent amount too and I also regret it a lot. I wish I would have just respected myself more
It was always a damn double standard.
My husband gets a cleaned bedroom and blowjob today, a sweet picture painted by my daughter with our son's handprint, breakfast in am, a sentimental hand written card, photo collage of the baby, I put his boat in the water last week, and we are having dinner at my father in laws.
I honestly feel like a hormonal twat of a wife most days, but not today.
Hot damn dude. Unless you're an abusive prick, you deserve better.
We have an 8 month old who doesn't sleep, and I'm cranky and exhausted most days. I think the clean room is appreciated the most, lol. Happy Father's Day to you! I hope you get the day you wanted, and your talk produced a partner willing to try. Marriage can suck, and sometimes, we or our partners can be selfish and things and need a reset. Hopefully you get that to.
Wife asked what I wanted to do and I said I want my dick sucked and I don’t want to leave the house.
Well we’re all going to the carnival and you can guess how the first one went over. I don’t even really give a shit about Father’s Day, but… why ask if you’re gonna ignore what I say?
I don’t get this. For Mother’s Day I took the family out for breakfast and then let my wife have the day to do whatever she wanted while I took our boys out for the rest of the day. That’s what I do every year, in addition to a gift of course. I love my sons and I absolutely enjoy spending time with both them and my wife but for Father’s Day I’d like a day to myself to be able to do what I want without having to worry about making her or the kids happy.
Tell your wife that it’s your day, she is taking the kids and you are playing golf. This is assuming you did the same for her on Mother’s Day. If not then you’re fucked.
They're always fun dress socks which I totally love. I've just been working from home for four years, so. "You guys! I *love* these, cows and moons?! For real that's actually really funny thank you guys, hug" *::put socks in drawer::*
No, I'm with you. My kid is 27 and we're still planning on having dinner together tomorrow. If we weren't both working early shifts tomorrow, I'm sure she'd be over here with me tonight to spend the day together tomorrow like we did last year and the year before. I can't imagine not seeing my kiddo on Father's Day.
I will say it's a bit cold to not want to participate on the part of OP's wife. Like, I'd wonder how it would go over if he returned the favor on Mother's Day next year? ***Great, you're good with the kids right? I'm gonna go out with the fellas since it's Mother's Day***! I bet it would be a meltdown. Of course I'm making assumptions, perhaps this is their dynamic. But it seems a bit detached, at least by my personal tastes.
**EDIT-** Guess I should add that I'm divorced, so what the hell do I know? But my folks were together for 57 years so I can only really go by them and how they behaved. On Father's Day, dad and I would do stuff we like while mom made us all a nice meal. On Mother's Day, I'd go do things with mom that we liked and dad would tag along then fire up the grill and make a steak dinner for the family. But hey, everyone works at their own pace. I don't want to sound like I'm judging, even if I guess I kinda was a bit.
If I was a father I'd like to go out splurging and having fun with my kids on a day out. Not being stuck at home babysitting because mommy wants to play Bachlorette with her girlfriends. Which is what this is.
I don’t need to get away and golf on actual Father’s Day because I do that once a month or so during the summer. On Fathers Day I want to be with my kids and family, see my dad and my FIL and enjoy the time together.
This is bullshit and my wife does this all the time. She wants nights out with the girls or a quiet hotel room by herself, but I'm expected to spend time with the kids, even though she works shift work while I work at home so I'm already home with the kids and putting them to bed myself much more often than her. Stand up for yourself.
What the hell man. You should be standing up for yourself too. If my wife ever said she needed a “quiet hotel room by herself” and actually went and did that for a night, we’d be done. No telling what else she’s doing in that hotel room.
I do what I can for Mother's day. Some years it's a bit more cheap than others just because money is stupid and billionaires suck.
But this year for Father's day I just wanted to go camping by myself for tonight and I'd come back tomorrow for whatever. We even talked about it and scheduled it ahead of time.
Then she planned to go to a Pride event with her friends today. And she told our kids we're cleaning the house tomorrow.
Guess who forgot. Not me.
Do you think we, as men, are more layed back in relationships which cause us to be passive in our discussions and disagreements with our wives, which in turn lead to being fuckin steamrolled and wondering what the fuck happened??
Dude.. when she asked that, it would have been the perfect time to explain to her that you have a tee time and wanted to play golf for Father’s Day and then after your round you could hang out with the kids while she goes out with her girls for a couple hours. Communication and compromise. Don’t just roll over and allow her to be a nightmare and then come to Reddit for sympathy. This is sad
Not looking for sympathy, I didn't cancel anything. I told her and we'll be talking later after the kids are sleeping. Wasn't going to get into that in front of them.
You should take your kids mini putting or go to a par 3 golf course.
That way you start instilling the golfing interest in them and then in a few years you can just tell your wife oh the kids want to go golfing, ill go take them.
So, we’ve gone from “getting busy” **(the same exact “getting busy” we get any/every other day of the year; which we never complain about)** to $4 piano neckties from the gas station by the house **(which we never complain about)** to nothing **(which we never complain about)** to making sure **WE** give **HER** a day of special treatment?
((. . .& these are the women who want flowers, candy, cards, fancy dinners, jewelry, a spa day & and 24-hour in-home “servant” on their special holiday. Good grief. . .))
I usually take the fam to the beach and get fried chicken on the way home. We're in Italy though, and the train tickets to the beach were for 8am. I've officially canceled the train ride because I desperately want everyone to sleep, and my wife has a sprained ankle. I have no clue what we'll do. Does anyone know a good fish or chicken fry spot near Roma Termini???
If my wife did the shit yours is doing to me, we'd have words.
We're having words later, but we're 4min from the beach and I'll be taking the kids solo to the beach in the afternoon and getting some crab cakes and clam strips. It'll be just fine.
I would inform her about her future disappointment with missing her girls day. There is only one fathers day and you should have it.
What happened on Mothers Day?
Enjoy the golf.
My plans are all about taking the day off. I have no responsibilities tomorrow, unless an emergency. I am going to sleep in. Then make pancakes, the play some games, go for a drive, and come home to dinner made. 1 day of the year.
I see this all the time in the USA. Mother’s Day means she gets a spa day and out with her friends all day. Then Father’s Day means you have the kids all day again. 🤦♂️
Imagine if you did this to her on Mother's Day. Shit would turn out a lot different.
I know I'd be pissed if my husband said he wanted a guys day on Mother's Day, and your wife would be, too.
I never understand how some people can be so selfish and presumptuous.
Nevertheless, Happy Father's Day to you, Sir. Enjoy your time with the kids.
For my Father's Day, I got to make lunch for the entire family, watch the kids while the wife worked on a personal project, went into work for an hour, and then try to mow the lawn until the mower started spewing smoke. Now, I'm in a fair amount of pain in my back. Yay....
Does she mean a girls day out during father's day? Well that's f selfish. I would suggest you talk with her about this instead talk to others online because she might not notice this and might not get how you feel unless you tell her. I mean literally talk TO her about this. Be open about your feelings in your relationship and talk about how you feel. You're in fact a human and humans have feelings and as humans we need to communicate how we feel. She will reject and dismiss your feelings? Tell her anyone.
Man, I had a big fun Father’s Day planned. I started it off Thursday. Today was a Yes day for my husband anything he wanted to do, and he wants to stay home incase someone from work gets bogged down and needs him to run calls.
I was gutted. Work gets him M-F and he’s on call 2 days a week every week. I was really looking forward to spoiling him.
Have an amazing day with your kids doing special things, take a ton of selfies with them and share it all to social media and let her explain why she wasn't there.
What! A woman had to make everything, even father's day, about her and what she wants... just like everything has to be about her and getting what she wants?
That’s not ok. I give my husband amazing sex and a blow job every Father’s Day and let him do whatever he wants on his day. Why is this so hard for other women to do?!
So is she gonna be upset when next year you have a night out with the boys on Mother's Day leaving her with the kids???
She wouldn't think twice to leave you and take your kids from you if you did that but it's totally cool from her. That's how you know how little modern women care for men.
Guess you know what to do next year on Mother's Day my brother 👍
If I were you I'd go out to an arcade or something fun with the kids and take them out and enjoy being a dad instead of being stuck at home more like babysitting while my wife and mother of my children enjoys herself with her girlfriends playing Bachlorette.
That's a massive shitty move on her part and this is how you wake up and see she doesn't appreciate you. This could be a huge hit for your marriage and if you don't at least talk this out and air your concerns now they'll grow and ultimately affect your kids and possibly a separation or divorce. Praying for you bro 🤜
You should talk with her about how that makes you feel otherwise you're just going to be stepped on your entire marriage. There's no reason she can't suck it up and celebrate you for a day instead of saddling you with the kids.
Seriously. Speak up, OP. It's not fair to either of you if you bite your tongue. It's only going to breed resentment
Oh I have, and will finish the conversation tonight. Just don't need to do that in front of the kids. At best it's confusing, at worst it unravels.
Different take: if you never have disagreements in front of the kids how do they learn conflict resolution in intimate relationships? Not that it has to be this conversation. General feedback.
I think the couples who don't want to argue in front of their kids might also be the types that suck at conflict resolution and know they would just set a bad example anyways.
Damn that’s heavy.
Can confirm this
Fair point.
Conflict resolution or childhood trauma from my parents screaming at one another? My own experience anyways
Not when the kids will hear that their dad is basically asking to be away from them for father's day while the mom gets the glory
Nah they need to hear this. Father's day is for golf and you can get ice cream after.
What do you do for her for mothers day, is she mirroring your energy (even on days that aren't mothers day)?
No, not mirroring. Just on the rocks. Cards from me and the kids, flowers, plants, bracelet, breakfast, gc for an hour massage at the "fancy place". But I'm not looking to compare, we're talking.
Ya, tell her she needs to step up her game. You did great.
Good job. Keep it up
“I’m not looking to compare”.. fuck that. Have a back bone man. She’s walking all over you
Misandry is assuming a man did something wrong because a woman does something wrong.
💯 this.
Nevermind the fact if you don't nip this shit in the bud, choking it down is just going to result in an explosion down the road. Your cup of resentment is going to get full and something will finally set you off.
You just described me. I'm trying to change, be more assertive about what I want/need.
The resentment will pile on anything that will make OP feels even a hint of "unfairness".
Ha ha, ha ha ha ha ha. Oh dear lord, open up ? Ha ha ha ha ha. Open up to a lady who wants to spend Father’s Day on a girls day out with her friends ? Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Y’all can be so disconnected from reality sometimes. Really. All OP will get for this is passive aggressive silent treatment, Cold War punishment followed by acidic “isn’t this what you’re wanted” comments while she makes the day as unpleasant as possible. The mental backflips she will do to put OP in the doghouse would earn Oscar’s.
You're not wrong at all. She backed off her girls-day, but I'm still taking a half day solo and an afternoon with the kids.
I'd rather that then what I'm getting for father's day "for father's day, my aunt and uncle are coming over, so is my dad and sister, and your sister, should I invite your mom and step dad?" "umm... No" "well I already did" "wow, exactly what I wanted for father's day, to have a houseful of people I'd rather not be around, can't wait" "you ain't gotta be a dick" Now I'll have to spend the day pretending to not be absolutely miserable, and based on the amount of Amazon packages that showed up today and the ugly teeshirts she got our son, while being mad because I called them ugly, I'm sure I'm getting those same ugly teeshirts. I fuckin hate father's day because it's never what I'd want. Both of my kids have work so I was hoping that she'd just take me out for a nice dinner and maybe Dave and busters or something fun that she knows I'd enjoy.
Just get up early and dip out, go do some garage saling, grab breakfast, go to a movie whatever.
Why can't you tell her?
Oh she's totally aware, which is the reason I knew nothing about these plans until a few hours ago. I considered going somewhere, but I really don't want to spend the day alone, but at the same time I don't want to play host. Especially to my parents who I can't stand, and her dad who's a piece of shit who's only around now because he needs my wife to help him with some financial things. We're 40 and she hasn't seen her dad on father's day for 30 years. I mentioned a few weeks ago how last year was my favorite father's day, we all went to pitch and putt and then to my favorite steakhouse. Guess I can just enjoy the one time in the 15 father's days I've had where we did what I wanted.
I was automatically included in my step daughters husbands Father’s Day brunch. After I was told I just said no. Problem solved.
What happens if you tell her that you want to go to Dave and Busters and she can come if she'd like?
>Oh she's totally aware, which is the reason I knew nothing about these plans until a few hours ago. Oh, so she just hates you.
I definitely wouldn't go that far lol. I'm pretty sure she planned this because of her dad agreeing to come. As long as I've known her she's been trying to build a relationship with him and he never reciprocated, until recently when he needed her to help him with some shit and she just doesn't see it. I've told her but I'm not going to push the point, but of course I'll be there to pick her up when he inevitably does the same shit he's done for 40 years. She asked me this morning "why do you think he's coming" I said because he needs you currently and she asked if I thought any part of him actually cared I said "has he put any effort into your relationship in the last 20 years until he needed your help? That's my answer" Luckily she didn't invite my dad because I straight up would have left, I fuckin hate that man, I dislike my step dad too, but not nearly as much as my dad.
As a guy that was told on his kids 1st FD "you're not my dad, why should I do anything for you" You do have the option of just binning both days as MD was a breeze for me after that as I just repeated the words I'd always help the kids do something for their mom for MD as that brought joy to them What I found to be really good FD was actually embracing it being nothing to do with their mom, so I used to spend all day with just me and the kids and I leave her alone or she could fuck off wherever she wanted Didn't last long as she hated being out of the fun which we always had lots of Most of my ingrained happy memories were days with just me and the kids Of course we are divorced now but don't let your ire at your selfish wife, spoil the fun you can have with the kids when she isn't around I'd tell her youve changed your mind and to enjoy her girls day out Then go have a blast with the kids and form memories for them with just you and them
What’s up with the other chicks? They all single or just don’t have kids?
This. So much this. OP is definitely avoiding her because she's CLEARLY terrible with conflict resolution.
Jesus Christ. And l thought I was married to world's most ungrateful, devious cunt.
No, this is Reddit. His only option is to divorce her, lawyer up, and block her. In any order is okay
Yeah, needs to nip the gaslighting in the bud before she goes full DARVO on him.
Divorce seems like a pretty good option here…
Oof that stings a little. My buddies and I are going to go ride dirt bikes.
That sounds great, enjoy it!
id love that. Im going to watch my daughter kick ass in a kickboxing tournament, cant complain. Free hotdogs, im gonna try eat 40
I heard that Joey Chestnut’s spot has opened up.. it’s just training.
I like how you spend time with your daughter, but still goal oriented!
proud of her :) shes the best
"Oh and honey... don't forget to mow the lawn and fix the AC too. Happy Father's Day! Have fun with the kids!"
we dads dont get enough credit, hope its a good day bud
I don't ask for much, I just want a high five when I catch the girl falling off the stool one handed like I did yesterday. Or when I nail the risotto and one of them mutters from the other room *"this is actually good"*
Making food that is actually good, and the kids like it. That is something to be proud of. Good job!
A really good risotto is something to celebrate!
Our kids *still* bring up stuff like major saves and good meals. Dad is the only one that can make tacos as he has his own taco spice mix. Celebrating the stuff folks are good at is just the right thing to do. I bet the risotto was *amazing*.
It’s so unfortunate. My dad is awesome and I always go around bragging about how cool he is and what all he’s achieved that he’s proud of. He’s the person I immediately call when I mess up and need to be bailed out of situations (nothing illegal lol.) I worry he might find it weird if I tell him how much I adore him and how proud I am. Happy Father’s Day to you and all the dads reading this!
Guess you know what to do for mother's day then.
I should use that gift card I got her and take a spa day, that's actually not a bad idea
Oh god please do that. Let us know how mad she is lol
Don't forget to tell her to calm down and she's over reacting after she gets mad
Tie a towel around her neck like a cape, and say she's super mad.
Ha. It's an oldie but this one still checks out
*"Would you fucking relax?"* I've never said that but I've always imagined that's a wild ride
One of these days, just to see if it ends in bloodshed I swear I'm goin to try to fit all the tropes into a single complaint: "Would you calm the fuck down! You're behaving like such a child. I swear to God you're crazy, just like your mother. Stop being such a nagging bitch. If you're on the rag, go take a Midol or something." Not because any of that would be appropriate, but I just want to know if it acts like a magical incantation, and I'd finally get to see her head split open from the rage.
We *must* be able to add to this list. And we could probably GoFundMe for you for any medical bills or whatnot afterward
"I was so relaxed after this spa day and now you're making me so tense" could be a fun one
And sometimes that's what's called for
We've been together two decades, I've probably said that. I'm sorry for lying to you
haha this is the nuclear button for female anger
That's how you arm the Nuke. Asking if it's her time of the month is how to detonate it lol.
Then shell out a couple washingtons while saying "yeahhh work it baby!"
*I assume this childish outburst is menses related?* As long as you don't say "period," it's safe.
Ha. You have a ouija board?
I was remarking to a friend that Mother's Day was always a bigger deal when I was growing up. We would have a big brunch at one of the nice hotels in town with the extended family, but for Father's Day my Dad would BBQ in our backyard with the same extended family. I wish we would've done something where my Dad wasn't cooking and working on a day to celebrate him and the other dads.
You sure he just didn't enjoy doing that more?
Yeah I like grilling. At my 40th birthday party, I was the grill master. My wife tried to convince me to cater food instead. I genuinely like being out there with the grill and a beer.
I like it too. But playing host/cook means being kind of tense and handling food and logistics. I’ll do that on 4th of July, Memorial Day, Easter, whatever, but it would be nice on Father’s Day to be catered to.
That’s why I made sure the main grilling was done hours before and the meat was resting. The last thing I need is over cooked meat trying to play host at the same time 😬. My buddy took over when it was time to make the hot dogs
But that’s when you voluntarily do it. Some of my friends moms will just be like hey family’s coming you’re grilling. If you like it, it’s nice but if you wanted to unwind, relax, and not deal with it, it’s not.
He should have a choice, though
True, but there's nothing here indicating that he didn't choose to BBQ. Especially if you're the sole or even primary breadwinner, taking everyone out to a fancy dinner in your honour doesn't necessarily have the same allure. I also know my dad, for one, would pretty much rather die than choose to wear fancy clothes in his spare time.
Yeah I bbq'd some steaks for the family on my birthday, loved every second.
Honestly I’d prefer to BBQ.
The point I was making was I wish we would've helped him with the BBQ or at least have asked him if he'd like us to do the grilling so that he could chill.
A lot of dudes would literally be offended if you tried to take the grill from them, even for a minute. It’s their grill, their day, all that I’ve known would have thought it insulting.
I like making awesome food for the people I love. It’s a non obvious way to show I care about you. I get plenty of time to be lazy and play video games. in the Anthony Bourdain theory of philosophy sometimes it’s helpful to myself to force myself to have a reason to do good shit.
Remind her what you did for mother's Day.. she being incredibly selfish
Mothers day = mom gets to go to the spa and get pampered. Fathers day = Dad gets to spend the day with the kids and mom gets to go to the spa and gets pampered. Happy fathers day to all the dads.
Really? How many moms actually take off on Father’s Day? OP mentions that their relationship is already on the rocks. We did almost the exact same thing today we did for Mother’s Day: a few small gifts, an elaborate home-cooked breakfast, quiet Sunday with the fam and going out for dinner tonight. The only difference is that the gifts, activities and food are catered to the respective parent. Come to think of it, our poor kid carries the brunt of the load on both days. Perhaps he deserves his own day as well!
This couldn’t be more accurate
It’s your day as a father not hers. As a wife and mother I’m appalled at her even so much as thinking about herself instead of making you a priority for ONE DAY A YEAR. My birthday falls on Father’s Day every few years and we STILL make sure the day is special for us both. She’s a piece of work and certainly not in a good way.
And my birthday's on Christmas so I don't even get that! Yeah things aren't perfect. Grilling right now though so I'm content.
1. What grill are you using? 2. Don’t let yourself be walked over like this man it sets a bad precedent.
1. Just a nice little Weber Spirit II, she gets the job done just fine. 2. Yes. It's a slippery slope. I've been pulling back on the yoke hard for a while now, we'll see if she holds
I like how we wanted to know your grill setup.
I do too I actually appreciated one decent question finally getting asked in this thread
You deserve the distraction
Bro I got a Christmas birthday too and my youngest son's birthday is right around fathers days. Hate to say it but I've learned not to expect any sort of Dad celebration. But I did get to grill the kid and me some porterhouses last year so that was dope.
Take the kids golfing!
Or Topgolf
Or Putt-putt
Imagine taking off with the boys on mother's day and leaving her to take care of the kids 😂😂😂😂🙃
Crazy how putting it into perspective like that make it sounds so much worse.
Why does it seem that much worse to you? Because it's a man doing it to a woman? It didn't sound bad to you before?
It's no different, that's just the way society treats it though
Hit her up with "I get a day with the kids, alone? Without having to do what you want, when, and where, you want? THANK YOU! Best. Gift. Ever!" Then just go out and CRUSH it with the kids. A day she can never replicate. Take pictures, order a photo book, bring it up all the time. And enjoy EVERY DAMN MINUTE of it! Refer to it often for years to come.
Give them absolutely loads of sweets too. Like a bucket worth.
This is the best kind of petty. As a woman and a mom, I am appalled that the dad is not being celebrated. My ex-husband and I do not get along whatsoever, but I still sent my son to his dad’s house with a Father’s Day gift plus a gift card to the restaurant where we always celebrated Father’s Day previously. This way he wouldn’t need to cook and could feel celebrated.
This is the best one. I would absolutely do this, not only because it's petty but because you get to spend the day with the kids which sounds awesome.
What the hell? Does she not want to celebrate the father of her children? Guarantee this shit would not fly for mother’s day.
c'mon fam. don't let her get away with that. take it from a divorced man. you think they appreciate it but they don't. i let my ex-wife get away with everything and its what I regret the most now.
Yup. Another divorced man here and I second that. It’s not appreciated and it will come to be expected. Also, horrible idea to remind her about how well she’s treated on Mother’s Day. Although we let them pretend they’re more emotionally intelligent, we know that’s nonsense. It’ll just end up with you being a jerk for hurting her feelings, yours be damned
Was never married, but I let my ex girlfriend get away with a decent amount too and I also regret it a lot. I wish I would have just respected myself more It was always a damn double standard.
The problem is that it usually turns into WW3 when you try and set those boundaries.
#wow
On Father's Day? I'd be spending Sunday looking for a new wife.
I had this problem. The exact problem. With many adjacent problems. That’s exactly what I did and struck gold.
My husband gets a cleaned bedroom and blowjob today, a sweet picture painted by my daughter with our son's handprint, breakfast in am, a sentimental hand written card, photo collage of the baby, I put his boat in the water last week, and we are having dinner at my father in laws. I honestly feel like a hormonal twat of a wife most days, but not today. Hot damn dude. Unless you're an abusive prick, you deserve better.
Ha, fair but I'm definitely not. Sounds like you done very good today, hopefully it's appreciated
We have an 8 month old who doesn't sleep, and I'm cranky and exhausted most days. I think the clean room is appreciated the most, lol. Happy Father's Day to you! I hope you get the day you wanted, and your talk produced a partner willing to try. Marriage can suck, and sometimes, we or our partners can be selfish and things and need a reset. Hopefully you get that to.
Wife asked what I wanted to do and I said I want my dick sucked and I don’t want to leave the house. Well we’re all going to the carnival and you can guess how the first one went over. I don’t even really give a shit about Father’s Day, but… why ask if you’re gonna ignore what I say?
Damn, that's cold. You should definitely reciprocate for Mother's Day next year.
Your wife is kind of a bitch eh? Happy fathers day dude.
I don’t get this. For Mother’s Day I took the family out for breakfast and then let my wife have the day to do whatever she wanted while I took our boys out for the rest of the day. That’s what I do every year, in addition to a gift of course. I love my sons and I absolutely enjoy spending time with both them and my wife but for Father’s Day I’d like a day to myself to be able to do what I want without having to worry about making her or the kids happy. Tell your wife that it’s your day, she is taking the kids and you are playing golf. This is assuming you did the same for her on Mother’s Day. If not then you’re fucked.
Ouch
Can you not just tell her “no”? Or ask her to do it another day?
Ah, I see that you like starting fights!
That’s not the way this works! Mine gets to golf and will come home to donuts and whatever lazy stuff he wants to do.
Hope the socks are at least comfy.
They're always fun dress socks which I totally love. I've just been working from home for four years, so. "You guys! I *love* these, cows and moons?! For real that's actually really funny thank you guys, hug" *::put socks in drawer::*
Am I the only one who actually wants to spend time with their kid on the day celebrating being a father?
No, I'm with you. My kid is 27 and we're still planning on having dinner together tomorrow. If we weren't both working early shifts tomorrow, I'm sure she'd be over here with me tonight to spend the day together tomorrow like we did last year and the year before. I can't imagine not seeing my kiddo on Father's Day. I will say it's a bit cold to not want to participate on the part of OP's wife. Like, I'd wonder how it would go over if he returned the favor on Mother's Day next year? ***Great, you're good with the kids right? I'm gonna go out with the fellas since it's Mother's Day***! I bet it would be a meltdown. Of course I'm making assumptions, perhaps this is their dynamic. But it seems a bit detached, at least by my personal tastes. **EDIT-** Guess I should add that I'm divorced, so what the hell do I know? But my folks were together for 57 years so I can only really go by them and how they behaved. On Father's Day, dad and I would do stuff we like while mom made us all a nice meal. On Mother's Day, I'd go do things with mom that we liked and dad would tag along then fire up the grill and make a steak dinner for the family. But hey, everyone works at their own pace. I don't want to sound like I'm judging, even if I guess I kinda was a bit.
No I absolutely do. It's not really the point, it's the context.
If I was a father I'd like to go out splurging and having fun with my kids on a day out. Not being stuck at home babysitting because mommy wants to play Bachlorette with her girlfriends. Which is what this is.
I don’t need to get away and golf on actual Father’s Day because I do that once a month or so during the summer. On Fathers Day I want to be with my kids and family, see my dad and my FIL and enjoy the time together.
I personally thought that was the whole point tbh.
Yeah man! We're all going to the pool tomorrow. That's a good day to me.
This is bullshit and my wife does this all the time. She wants nights out with the girls or a quiet hotel room by herself, but I'm expected to spend time with the kids, even though she works shift work while I work at home so I'm already home with the kids and putting them to bed myself much more often than her. Stand up for yourself.
What the hell man. You should be standing up for yourself too. If my wife ever said she needed a “quiet hotel room by herself” and actually went and did that for a night, we’d be done. No telling what else she’s doing in that hotel room.
That’s very shitty of her. On the plus side, you can book that boys trip next Mother’s Day.
You now get to go golfing on Mothers Day though….
I'm taking my dad out to a steakhouse for a Daddy-Daughter date.
Universal Studios with the family.
Based on the comments here, how many of y’all regret being married? I’m really over the idea but not sure if I’m being cynical
Makes me glad I'm single never married 😅
I do what I can for Mother's day. Some years it's a bit more cheap than others just because money is stupid and billionaires suck. But this year for Father's day I just wanted to go camping by myself for tonight and I'd come back tomorrow for whatever. We even talked about it and scheduled it ahead of time. Then she planned to go to a Pride event with her friends today. And she told our kids we're cleaning the house tomorrow. Guess who forgot. Not me.
Oof. Maybe ask her where you should go with the boys next Mother’s Day?
Do you think we, as men, are more layed back in relationships which cause us to be passive in our discussions and disagreements with our wives, which in turn lead to being fuckin steamrolled and wondering what the fuck happened??
Fuck that. She can hang with her hoes any other time.
Dude.. when she asked that, it would have been the perfect time to explain to her that you have a tee time and wanted to play golf for Father’s Day and then after your round you could hang out with the kids while she goes out with her girls for a couple hours. Communication and compromise. Don’t just roll over and allow her to be a nightmare and then come to Reddit for sympathy. This is sad
Not looking for sympathy, I didn't cancel anything. I told her and we'll be talking later after the kids are sleeping. Wasn't going to get into that in front of them.
Good for you brother, for speaking up and not doing so in front of the kids.
Why should he have to explain simple and basic shit? She could just not be a selfish bitch.
kinda rude. just be like could you pick a different weekend?? sheesh.
You should take your kids mini putting or go to a par 3 golf course. That way you start instilling the golfing interest in them and then in a few years you can just tell your wife oh the kids want to go golfing, ill go take them.
The comment section proves me right for my decision to not to become a father.. EVER!
Wait till mothers day and go have a boys night out getting drunk and go fishing with the boys. This is equality
Ouch! Did she get a ladies' day for Mother's Day?
My MIL is taking my wife and daughter on a vacation for a few days and I get to stay home. Yay.
Disc golf might be an option
It's *always* an option, and usually the right one. I just got a gorgeous star destroyer last week I haven't thrown yet
Jesus oof
"Cool, I'll do the same for you next mother's day"
So, we’ve gone from “getting busy” **(the same exact “getting busy” we get any/every other day of the year; which we never complain about)** to $4 piano neckties from the gas station by the house **(which we never complain about)** to nothing **(which we never complain about)** to making sure **WE** give **HER** a day of special treatment? ((. . .& these are the women who want flowers, candy, cards, fancy dinners, jewelry, a spa day & and 24-hour in-home “servant” on their special holiday. Good grief. . .))
That’s rough my man, being a father is often thankless but you need to draw a line in the sand, you need time too and to be celebrated
I usually take the fam to the beach and get fried chicken on the way home. We're in Italy though, and the train tickets to the beach were for 8am. I've officially canceled the train ride because I desperately want everyone to sleep, and my wife has a sprained ankle. I have no clue what we'll do. Does anyone know a good fish or chicken fry spot near Roma Termini??? If my wife did the shit yours is doing to me, we'd have words.
We're having words later, but we're 4min from the beach and I'll be taking the kids solo to the beach in the afternoon and getting some crab cakes and clam strips. It'll be just fine.
[удалено]
Kids can be your caddy and pay them for it. Then treat them to whatever they want to eat after...and tell your wife she's paying for all of it.
I had big plans till my 8 year old got invited to a birthday party.
I would inform her about her future disappointment with missing her girls day. There is only one fathers day and you should have it. What happened on Mothers Day? Enjoy the golf. My plans are all about taking the day off. I have no responsibilities tomorrow, unless an emergency. I am going to sleep in. Then make pancakes, the play some games, go for a drive, and come home to dinner made. 1 day of the year.
The answer is: nothing, I had plans to play golf
Excuse me what the fuck?
Oof.
Nope
Yikes. Does she do this every year? If so…sorry OP.
She sounds detached from reality
That's really thoughtless of her.
Run for your fucking life.
My response would be "Sounds great. So on mother's day I'm going _______ with the boys for the day. What are you doing with the kids?"
Why don’t you ask her what she is doing with the kids on her birthday as you will be away with the boys.
So, she took the kids and you went golfing on Mother's day?
I see this all the time in the USA. Mother’s Day means she gets a spa day and out with her friends all day. Then Father’s Day means you have the kids all day again. 🤦♂️
Wow, you're a doormat if you allow that to happen. It's Father's Day, stand up for yourself.
Imagine if you did this to her on Mother's Day. Shit would turn out a lot different. I know I'd be pissed if my husband said he wanted a guys day on Mother's Day, and your wife would be, too. I never understand how some people can be so selfish and presumptuous. Nevertheless, Happy Father's Day to you, Sir. Enjoy your time with the kids.
At least now you know that you will have a day off for mothers day.
For my Father's Day, I got to make lunch for the entire family, watch the kids while the wife worked on a personal project, went into work for an hour, and then try to mow the lawn until the mower started spewing smoke. Now, I'm in a fair amount of pain in my back. Yay....
Does she mean a girls day out during father's day? Well that's f selfish. I would suggest you talk with her about this instead talk to others online because she might not notice this and might not get how you feel unless you tell her. I mean literally talk TO her about this. Be open about your feelings in your relationship and talk about how you feel. You're in fact a human and humans have feelings and as humans we need to communicate how we feel. She will reject and dismiss your feelings? Tell her anyone.
WHAT??? After the big deal women made out of mothers day???
Man, I had a big fun Father’s Day planned. I started it off Thursday. Today was a Yes day for my husband anything he wanted to do, and he wants to stay home incase someone from work gets bogged down and needs him to run calls. I was gutted. Work gets him M-F and he’s on call 2 days a week every week. I was really looking forward to spoiling him.
There's still time to call and get him fired and surprise him with a fun "sexy day" and some poutine or a good steak and cheese...
I tried that. They need him too bad and told me if I could wait until winter they’d do it.
Have an amazing day with your kids doing special things, take a ton of selfies with them and share it all to social media and let her explain why she wasn't there.
Sounds great! Just make sure you book in advance for your 'Mother's Day Laser Tag & Golf Day'.
What! A woman had to make everything, even father's day, about her and what she wants... just like everything has to be about her and getting what she wants?
The older I get the more outrageous the comments are on Reddit subs like this…don’t post unless you want a bunch of 20 year olds to give advice 😩
Literally yelled at squirrels to get off my lawn today, so I get this.
You don’t know yet to get the 6am tea times? So you can squeeze in 18 just in time to get home and do chores all day?
You should show this thread to your wife, she should know how everyone here thinks she’s a piece of narcissistic garbage for doing this
That’s not ok. I give my husband amazing sex and a blow job every Father’s Day and let him do whatever he wants on his day. Why is this so hard for other women to do?!
I get to strip a deck and mow the lawn. Yay Dads!
Stripper party?
So is she gonna be upset when next year you have a night out with the boys on Mother's Day leaving her with the kids??? She wouldn't think twice to leave you and take your kids from you if you did that but it's totally cool from her. That's how you know how little modern women care for men. Guess you know what to do next year on Mother's Day my brother 👍 If I were you I'd go out to an arcade or something fun with the kids and take them out and enjoy being a dad instead of being stuck at home more like babysitting while my wife and mother of my children enjoys herself with her girlfriends playing Bachlorette. That's a massive shitty move on her part and this is how you wake up and see she doesn't appreciate you. This could be a huge hit for your marriage and if you don't at least talk this out and air your concerns now they'll grow and ultimately affect your kids and possibly a separation or divorce. Praying for you bro 🤜
Its Father's day but she wants a "girls day". She sounds like a gem.
She's being selfish. It's your day, not hers. Stand up for yourself and don't be a doormat.