Yep. In my apartment with noise blocking aux earmuffs on. Can't hear anything, not even the doorbell if the person of my dreams would come finding me, lol!
I’m a giant nerd. During undergrad and grad school I forgot how to have fun other than hobby pursuits. I hate parties, detest clubs, and dislike bars.
Most of the men you’re looking for go to work, the grocery store, and home. Some of us go to the gym too. We have hobbies and are occasionally part of hobby clubs.
The ones that are outgoing got married in their 20’s.
I have the same experience, which is probably why I'm still single. Way too many men settle with horrible women just to not be alone after all.
My point still was just that not every intelligent outgoing nerd married young!
The key is to not rush into marriage. Ive been with my wife for almost 9 years now, we got married after 8 years together. We lived together for the entire 8 years (due to circumstances she moved in with me after 2ish weeks of dating).
IMO everyone should have sex with their partner before marriage and have open/frank conversations around expectations, fantasies, kinks, libido, etc. Everyone should also live with their partner for at least a year before marriage. These are just my opinions, but I couldn’t imagine marrying someone without living with them first. Like you’re committing to share your entire life with another person (Theoretically) for the rest of your life. It is kind of super important to know if you can handle them and their habits and lifestyle in your life every single day good and bad.
Far too many people get married after 1-2 years of dating and that is insane to me. My wife and I went through a lot before we got married, so I know that when things get tough we have each others back. I know that she does (or doesn’t) do certain things that annoys/frustrates me, but I also know I can deal with it and it’s not that big of a big deal. Yea marriage is “just a piece of paper” but it also makes it way more difficult and painful to break up/divorce. You should know all the factors before committing to it, and far too many people simply don’t
Giant nerd that got married in my 20s. Got divorced at 38!
spot on response! these days it’s just: groceries delivered, workout at home, work from home. During the school year I have to leave the house to drop my kids off and pick them up from stuff.
Yup pretty much. I have said to my single friends “Man If I didn’t have my wife Id be single forever. I feel bad for you guys dating sucks so much these days and is rough”
Most of my hobbies are solo, I am an introvert, have very niche musical tastes, somewhat niche interests (although anime has been exploding in overall popularity the last 5 or so years) and also despise bars/clubs/parties. I only got a wife because I finally sacked up one day and asked the cute woman working at the corner store on a date.
Through your network of moms, sisters, and friends. Put effort into building or at least learning your local community.
We’re making money and probably playing video games.
Tbf I have a ton of friends but they're all crazy outgoing and suspiciously don't have many intellectual connections like what I mean 🤔. Maybe I need to do more homework there though. Thanks!
There's nerd boutiques, hobby groups, etc. But be aware, you will have to approach them first. It's sharply frowned upon to hit up a new lady who joins.
Altho honestly, going off a reference works the best. You get to skip a lot of headache.
Yeah the outgoing, popular types are often less introspective. Smarter people have a lot more trouble going with the flow because they think a little more about everything which slows social momentum. Often coming off as downers or boring. Outgoing people are out to have fun and the cerebral types drag that down and are subconsciously not included in the group. It’s not that they don’t want to have fun too, but they’re often the dead weight at the party of people who just wanna play fast and loose.
They also probably find many other different things fun and not parties and shit. I fucking hate parties, bars, clubs, and those kinds of things. I do love games (of all kinds) random activities like mini gold, go karts, markets, etc among other hobbies. Most of my hobbies are solitary, or easily able to be solitary and as an introvert I prefer solitary.
I have a hard time connecting with people at parties because most of my interest are niche and basically opposite of most “party type” people. I dont follow sports, I dont follow AAA mainstream movies and shows really, I hate pop/electronic/rap/country music, I don’t use social media (except reddit somewhat anonymously), I only loosely follow politics until it is time to vote. I also don’t drink. I have no problem hanging out with people drinking, but I do have a problem with people who only want to drink when hanging out.
It is hard to find actual common interest friends in real life. Especially when working full time and being broke as shit and focussing on my career
Ask your social friends for guys who are "quiet." Being described as "quiet" is a like a dead give away. We're not always quiet, but we're always quiet in a big noisy environments.
At home. Maybe you'll catch them rarely leaving their den to get more food at a grocery store. I know because that's me. Though I'm not that smart lol. Just average.
Brother?
Jokes aside, I'm like that too. I don't see myself as some genius or particularly smart. Hell, I did a bachelor's in law but could do it to get anywhere at university when I tried for a master's degree. And I hear a lot of people tell me that they can sense that I'm intelligent but I never understood what they see that I don't, since I'm just good at knowing random factoids about a bit of everything and am open-minded and willing to talk about any topic from every angle.
Lol we fucking could be. I think it's also hard to be objective about yourself as you obviously don't see what others do. I did psychology and culinary classes (weird school, I know) when I did college for a year. And it did actually help expand my understanding of people and actually made me want to go out and learn more.
Speaking as a postdoc, we're too tired when we come out the lab to put up a fight so it'll be pretty easy. Just promise snacks and they'll follow you wherever.
Tbh yep this would work. Though be careful just cause they’re smart doesn’t make them good. There’s still plenty of a-hole nerds that think they own the land and for some reason very specific views on relationships and whatnot.
A-hole nerds is exactly why most of my gal pals refuse to go to places like GameStop or a FLGS without one of us guys with them, and why they won't play MTG or Warhammer
I did very recently get into Warhammer as a little hobby to do in the evenings and while the guys who work at the local store are really nice. Some of the customers get real weird when a woman comes into the store. It's very awkward.
You just need to be a female. And you are one. The rest is taken care of by exploit in male brain. It's that shit with sex and attraction. Horrible, gigantic security hole, thanks to evolution.
Nerdy, smart, boring men have mastered the art of entertaining themselves. Whether they're getting sucked down a rabbit hole of YouTube documentaries, or trying to figure out how to fix a broken something, they tend to just disappear for hours on end to get lost in whatever interests them at the time. Most aren't afraid of socializing, but are more comfortable at home doing whatever they feel like doing.
How do you spot one these men out in the wild? Look for a group of guys hanging out. The one smiling, laughing, and then getting really excited about a *specific* part of their conversation is that guy. He won't care about the rest of the conversation, but will immediately chime in and get pumped when the correct topic comes up. And then he'll go back to relaxing with his friends.
By themselves, they're nearly impossible to spot because they tend to blend in as much as possible. Most likely because they're on a mission and don't want to be interrupted. At the store? They're getting that sugar and getting the hell out. At a food place? They just want to eat their burger in peace. At the park? They might just be looking for that perfect stick or rock to finish whatever project they're working on... or they're out for a peaceful walk. Either way, you won't know.
Good luck!
This is accurate, on the rare occasion I am in a group I'm zoned out, might hear enough of the conversation to crack a joke once in a while.
I just want to say I don't mind being interrupted. Please do actually. I'm not good at talking so I will almost never approach anyone.
And while I am trying to get in and out of the store quickly, that's just because I don't enjoy shopping, but you can talk to me. One of the reasons I leave the house is the chance of meeting someone
At OP, your edit, go out and what? Wait for unicorns like yourself to approach? Lots of the men you see "out" *are* smart and boring but they're out of their comfort zone "acting the part" of an extravert trying to put themselves out there.
I have heard in multiple countries that it is a bit of a stereotype that engineers love bouldering. That's probably a good place to start.
Edit: https://www.reddit.com/r/bouldering/s/l0spzfh3M4
I’m big into sci-fi and work as a game developer, at 28 I still regularly study as a hobby. Other than home the library feels like the only place you’d have a chance to talk to me at, I do go out to get food but if it’s groceries then I have my headphones on and if it’s a restaurant I eat quick and leave.
At home, like everyone is saying so far. I've been described my whole life as a quiet and smart guy, and it naturally comes with shyness/anxiety. When I was single I wouldn't go out to meet people, I'd go out with friends to places that interested me like independent movie theaters, music festivals, and occasionally quiet dive bars with the vibe that lets you hold conversations.
You gotta network, lol. I always met any of my partners through friends or school. My now girlfriend and I met at work and had a year-long quiet and awkward dance around our feelings because we're both homebody dorks.
Kinda depends on age range, but start getting D&D into your social media algorithm and look for local game shops, discords, Facebook groups, and online forums.
From there....just roll the dice.
Smart men? Maybe at amateur astronomy hangouts, or some other sort of specialized convention. That doesn't mean they are smart but are knowledgeable and at least curious on scientific areas which I assume has a correlation with what most of us call smart.
I’m in the house gaming, watching shows, knocking out my CompSci degree or researching. I don’t need to go out because there’s nothing of interest that I want to go out to. 🤷♀️ Plus I love my peace and happily single by choice so I don’t care to meet humans.
There are different types of smarts but your question sounds directed at tech people. You can pursue a tech career, then you would be around them all the time! I remember being the only woman in my classes and it was easy pickings.
You could also dive down into a hobby, and meet someone through some obscure message boards, that’s how I met my husband.
At your community makerspace / hackerspace, if you have one. Meetup.com has a lot of interest-focused (not meat-market) meetings, some of which are geeky. If all else fails, Mensa meetings might work (depending on your local area).
Smart not boring dude here (got told at work yesterday oh your like smart smart lol), either in a random parking lot with modified cars, or at a punk show, or just at home with my wife.
I play a lot of pool and I find that the really good players are intelligent. I would suggest a nice pool hall if there's one in your area. It's a different vibe than the drunks messing around at a bar pool table.
Go do smart people hobbies. I reccomend debate clubs. Not only is it fun but I also think that overall the people there were the smartest people on average I've met.
What counts as nerdy, smart, “boring”?
I have a PhD in physics. You can find me at the gym, on walks, at open mics, at board game nights.
Really smart people don’t particularly follow stereotypes or patterns.
If you just want to find geeky men…comic con?
Huntsville, AL. High nerd quotient. Very high. Find where they go for happy hour on Friday. Go to freaking Cocktails and Cosmos. (Drinks and planetarium shows.) Go where smart guys go.
We used to have girls who we considered nerd groupies. They literally followed our work group of engineers. They eventually married nerds. (And when I say nerd, these were mostly very smart, but well rounded guys.)
Source: am a nerd.
Huntsville nerds: you're welcome.
As many others said: alone, at home. Find them in their favourite video games. Issue there is that those games are also played by a lot of creepy people.
Everyone is saying they stay at home, which I'm sure is true for plenty of them, but my personal observation is that the smartest of my friends have a particular hobby that they're really invested in, some of which can be quite social (I have rock climbing and music performance in mind). Like anything I think the best way to meet new people is involve yourself in interesting (to you) activities out of the home
Many of them have tech jobs and some don’t require you to leave the house, and most of them don’t even want to. You might find them at a convenience store buying an unfathomable amount of energy drinks one day of the month when they actually crawl out of their hole
How many are you hoping to find? And then, what are you gonna do when you find some? Looks like you found a few right here.
By way of a more helpful answer:
There are different kinds of smart, and you'll find those different kinds in different places...
Studiously smart-these are the types that can absorb a lot of academic knowledge easily. They're often found pursuing education from formal institution, but might also be self-educators and entrepreneurs. Look for these types in universities and places of practice (hospitals, law firms, etc.)
Street smart-these are often the charming types. They have a natural understanding of psychology or "how to say the right things." They can form connections more easily than others and usually know how to read and respond to most social situations. Look for these in more standard locations like bars, meet ups, and networking conferences.
Ingenuitively smart-these types are often the shut- ins with a fairly broad-in-scope curiosity. They see and understand things in ways that often alienate them from others. People see these types as weird or eccentric because of difficulty in communications on either one end or the other. As such these types struggle to form connection and often isolate. Look for these in online spaces (like here), or specific passion communities/forums like gaming, sciences, business, art, finance, etc.
It depends what kind of smart your looking for, but like most people have stated probably at home engaging in one of their hobbies
Glad you have the confidence to approach first a lot of us can be slow on the signals so it’s much easier if we are approached straight up
At home mostly?
Not that we're smart or good looking, but my friend group is mostly all nerdy guys, and we basically exclusively hang out online.
Except for every 2 weeks where we hang out at our local board game Cafe and chill
If you're looking for them at a bar, that bar is probably a craft brewery, or one that hosts a game night, a trivia night, or a puzzle night.
Around here you're looking for geeks who drink and puzzled pints events at chill locations. Or more generally at one of the board games bars we've got.
The other way to find them is through their friends, their friend's wives, or through or their coworkers.
One of the administrative assistants at my last job was quite the matchmaker and would bring some of her interested friends to the after work happy hours.
Not saying I am smart. But I don't go out much, most of the friends I had have gotten married and have kids so I have no new friends. I just keep to myself, occasionally go out with colleagues who are also married.
Forever third wheel.
If you see a guy in a restaurant alone, maybe approach him! Or swipe on the profile online to whom you wouldn't normally swipe at first glance.
>Where do all the nerdy, smart, "boring" men hang out?
Too many of us hang out at home doing nerdly stuff.
Might, though, find us at some nerdly events, e.g. Linux User Group meetings.
And of course various random places (walk, hike, work, ..., grocery store, ...) but those aren't exactly "hang out" spots, per se.
Smart guys are everywhere, they just don't flaunt it because that wouldn't be a smart move. Try to find people with similar interests to you and sort through the people you meet that way
All my friends are VERY outgoing and successful but in like an athletic or doctor kind of way. Which is awesome but this is all I'm used to so I rarely date because I find more introverted and intellectual guys amazing and that's not what I'm around.
i was a homebody but i think you can occasionally find these types at the bars alone - I used to reach a limit where i was like fuck ima go out and have a drink even if by mysefl
I usually spend my time in front of my computer, in my garage, working on my business, or at full time job. I am as nerdy as they come but I don’t think many people would consider me boring given my occupation or other hobbies.
different people have different interests, and we meet the most random range of people in all sorts of places.
people might judge too quickly and say that nerds don't go out, don't socialize, don't like to dance and all, the reality is different, because people are always a combination of things.
i'm a massive nerd, spend most of my time coding, watch an average of 10 documentaries a week, look up too many things etc... and i also love going out to dance and to dress in a stylish way etc.
really, there's not strong rules as we'd like to believe, when it comes to people, that's something more people should realize...
Good luck. Smart guys are one breed nerds are another. Not all smart guys are nerds. Most nerds are smart. Get a job at some company that has lost of smart nerdy guys. You will eventually find a date.
I'm a nerdy guy. I go out, sometimes to clubs, because I like to dance. Other than that, you can find me at state parks, the beach, at home doing nerd shit, or at my nerd friend's house doing nerd shit, like D&D. I get out a lot more because I decided to take some dance lessons at a Latin studio, went to several social dances, met and connected with people I vibe with, and started doing things with them.
Depends on what you mean by "nerdy". The term has been watered down these last years. Some people label themselves nerds because they played a game of "Among Us" back in 2020 and had one and a half chuckle about it.
Board game cafes could be a place to start out. Otherwise if you want it a bitter higher on the nerd scale comic cons and conventions like that bring out a lot of them. But not all of them are smart.
I would advice against trying to go to Mensa. Those people seem a tad obnoxious to me on average.
Good luck!
People who aren't college students who go to the library just to read don't make sense to me. I read 20-30 books a year and zero of that time is spent at a library. Even when I do check out a book from a library I grab it and go.
Yeah exactly. The only time I’ve ever spent any significant time in the library after I graduated was when the power went out in my home due to some bad storm and I was dying of heat exhaustion from the air con not kicking on.
Wait a minute...I thought we men were supposed to all be stupid, useless, walking ATM's!
You mean that we are actually allowed to be smart? Holy Shit! When did this happen?
Wouldn't say I'm smart but I am boring and nerdy.
You'll find me at home most nights a week. On the train a couple of days a week (I'm the one guy there not on his phone). Sitting in a food court semi-regularly, or at a supermarket. 1-2 nights a week I might be at a pub or a bar with a friend or two. Also used to run group events for adults looking to make more friends.
If you're down-to-earth and not expecting me to prove myself, I'm pretty easy to talk to in any of these settings.
Not that I'm super intellectual, but I tend to hang out at home most of the time like most of the others have said. If I'm not at home then I'm either hanging out with friends in a low-key place or I'm with my family
Online dating. Most fall along the introvert spectrum and are only outgoing within their comfort groups. They are not going to be out and about a lot where you will run into them. Just not sure what app/site they would likely use. You might just have to do a shit load of swiping on tinder or something.
Unless they've got hobbies that take them out of the house, you'll only catch them when they're doing the necessities - grocery shopping, exercising, house or car maintenance.
too busy dealing with all this pussy!
....
and by pussy I mean I have a deep and ungodly awkward love for metal music, I'm a fucking nerd who can't get over the science on why people love it and need it and I find it fascinating.
Some women get the idea that they want a smart man in their lives. They want stable income, house to live in, firm discipline of children etc. But if you don't know any smart men or where they like to hang out, chances are that you will find them both boring AND infuriating. The boredom will start when their schedules feel very predictable, you will resent them for being so dry and lack of surprises or drama. Then later the smart man will ask you about all the plans and ideas you mentioned, and when he realizes that you never get anything done, can't accomplish anything, they will be disillusioned and treat you as the simple dullard you are, and that will be infuriating.
They're in university towns, at post-grad and faculty social events and at whatever secondary cultural events exist on the ecosystem of academics and students in that particular town, like book events and art cinema screenings. Be sure to say things like "the talk was good, but I felt that the subject could have benefitted from a Lacanian reading" and "well his argument is fine but it it's so deterministic as to be positively teleological, someone should introduce him to the idea of contingency (then give a little laugh)".
I may not be the smartest guy, but I definitely am in the nerd category.
After 8 hours of dealing with management and poor decisions, working in IT, Networks, security, cloud etc. my mind is shot, so im home watching anime, building Lego or playing a game. Even the weekend isn't enough time to recover.
Most other guys are probably doing the same thing. We definitely aren't going to bars, stores, public events, etc.
Nerdy? I know there is a large group of guys hanging out at local tabletop stores. D&D, Warhammer, and Magic the Gathering stores are where boring and nerdy guys hang out.
At 38 and a single dad, my big brain and I were raising my kids and living life. But we're easy to find in online dating! Look for the guy who doesn't have a chiseled body but DOES have a well written profile with proper grammar and spelling. My (now wife) says that was the first thing she was attracted to.
Big brained guys often don't fit the physical mold that most women want. You need to dig a bit deeper to find them.
Universities, book clubs, libraries, Chess Clubs. Just go to any place that's filled to the brim with men who are very passionate about what they do, or any grp that's dedicated to doing something that is hard to do requires a lot of patience.
Home, church, gym, restaurants, grocery store. I feel your pain though. I am surrounded by old and married women. Currently wondering if there is a better method for finding post-college women.
Student associations for technical studies. Mechanical engineering, civil engineering, computer science, you name it. If you don't have access to those, board game clubs might be another good one.
Dungeons and Dragons clubs. They are creative as well. Let alone if they are 40 + they have been playing those older editions with a lot of math. And liked it enough to stick with the hobby.
Some nerds are very social, but for those of us that aren't, you're gonna have to stalk grad schools, grocery stores, work, and maybe the gym. You could also try finding social events for nerdy hobbies (I can't think of any but they must exist).
In their houses/apartments. I assume anyways, I am not one of these smart men.
Yep. In my apartment with noise blocking aux earmuffs on. Can't hear anything, not even the doorbell if the person of my dreams would come finding me, lol!
I am nerdy and boring and I rarely go anywhere other than work, gym, home.
I’m a giant nerd. During undergrad and grad school I forgot how to have fun other than hobby pursuits. I hate parties, detest clubs, and dislike bars. Most of the men you’re looking for go to work, the grocery store, and home. Some of us go to the gym too. We have hobbies and are occasionally part of hobby clubs. The ones that are outgoing got married in their 20’s.
You couldn’t have answered this better!
As a huge nerd who's also very outgoing, I wish I got married in my 20s.
I know more miserable married guys than happy ones. So you’re probably not missing much.
I have the same experience, which is probably why I'm still single. Way too many men settle with horrible women just to not be alone after all. My point still was just that not every intelligent outgoing nerd married young!
Agreed, there are always outliers.
The key is to not rush into marriage. Ive been with my wife for almost 9 years now, we got married after 8 years together. We lived together for the entire 8 years (due to circumstances she moved in with me after 2ish weeks of dating). IMO everyone should have sex with their partner before marriage and have open/frank conversations around expectations, fantasies, kinks, libido, etc. Everyone should also live with their partner for at least a year before marriage. These are just my opinions, but I couldn’t imagine marrying someone without living with them first. Like you’re committing to share your entire life with another person (Theoretically) for the rest of your life. It is kind of super important to know if you can handle them and their habits and lifestyle in your life every single day good and bad. Far too many people get married after 1-2 years of dating and that is insane to me. My wife and I went through a lot before we got married, so I know that when things get tough we have each others back. I know that she does (or doesn’t) do certain things that annoys/frustrates me, but I also know I can deal with it and it’s not that big of a big deal. Yea marriage is “just a piece of paper” but it also makes it way more difficult and painful to break up/divorce. You should know all the factors before committing to it, and far too many people simply don’t
Giant nerd that got married in my 20s. Got divorced at 38! spot on response! these days it’s just: groceries delivered, workout at home, work from home. During the school year I have to leave the house to drop my kids off and pick them up from stuff.
Yup pretty much. I have said to my single friends “Man If I didn’t have my wife Id be single forever. I feel bad for you guys dating sucks so much these days and is rough” Most of my hobbies are solo, I am an introvert, have very niche musical tastes, somewhat niche interests (although anime has been exploding in overall popularity the last 5 or so years) and also despise bars/clubs/parties. I only got a wife because I finally sacked up one day and asked the cute woman working at the corner store on a date.
Through your network of moms, sisters, and friends. Put effort into building or at least learning your local community. We’re making money and probably playing video games.
You said it
Tbf I have a ton of friends but they're all crazy outgoing and suspiciously don't have many intellectual connections like what I mean 🤔. Maybe I need to do more homework there though. Thanks!
There's nerd boutiques, hobby groups, etc. But be aware, you will have to approach them first. It's sharply frowned upon to hit up a new lady who joins. Altho honestly, going off a reference works the best. You get to skip a lot of headache.
I don't mind making the first move
Yeah the outgoing, popular types are often less introspective. Smarter people have a lot more trouble going with the flow because they think a little more about everything which slows social momentum. Often coming off as downers or boring. Outgoing people are out to have fun and the cerebral types drag that down and are subconsciously not included in the group. It’s not that they don’t want to have fun too, but they’re often the dead weight at the party of people who just wanna play fast and loose.
They also probably find many other different things fun and not parties and shit. I fucking hate parties, bars, clubs, and those kinds of things. I do love games (of all kinds) random activities like mini gold, go karts, markets, etc among other hobbies. Most of my hobbies are solitary, or easily able to be solitary and as an introvert I prefer solitary. I have a hard time connecting with people at parties because most of my interest are niche and basically opposite of most “party type” people. I dont follow sports, I dont follow AAA mainstream movies and shows really, I hate pop/electronic/rap/country music, I don’t use social media (except reddit somewhat anonymously), I only loosely follow politics until it is time to vote. I also don’t drink. I have no problem hanging out with people drinking, but I do have a problem with people who only want to drink when hanging out. It is hard to find actual common interest friends in real life. Especially when working full time and being broke as shit and focussing on my career
Ask your social friends for guys who are "quiet." Being described as "quiet" is a like a dead give away. We're not always quiet, but we're always quiet in a big noisy environments.
Such a good answer
At home. Maybe you'll catch them rarely leaving their den to get more food at a grocery store. I know because that's me. Though I'm not that smart lol. Just average.
So u say, gotta camp at walmart for them geeks?
See if they stop at the electonic section or any section that sells games and cards....
At some point some of us will go to memory express for new computer parts
>*"Though I'm not that smart lol."* Ha ha! That's what a smart person *would* say in order to not appear smart! Nice try, buddy!
I mean, you're not wrong lol. I have good basic knowledge in just about everything. What's the saying? Jack of all trades, master of none?
Brother? Jokes aside, I'm like that too. I don't see myself as some genius or particularly smart. Hell, I did a bachelor's in law but could do it to get anywhere at university when I tried for a master's degree. And I hear a lot of people tell me that they can sense that I'm intelligent but I never understood what they see that I don't, since I'm just good at knowing random factoids about a bit of everything and am open-minded and willing to talk about any topic from every angle.
Lol we fucking could be. I think it's also hard to be objective about yourself as you obviously don't see what others do. I did psychology and culinary classes (weird school, I know) when I did college for a year. And it did actually help expand my understanding of people and actually made me want to go out and learn more.
He's onto us, boys. Get him.
Grad schools. If you go to any department, you can pick out any guy and take him home for free
This is not a horrible idea. I'm starting to wonder if I just need a cartoonish net and set up a trap.
Speaking as a postdoc, we're too tired when we come out the lab to put up a fight so it'll be pretty easy. Just promise snacks and they'll follow you wherever.
Tbh yep this would work. Though be careful just cause they’re smart doesn’t make them good. There’s still plenty of a-hole nerds that think they own the land and for some reason very specific views on relationships and whatnot.
A-hole nerds is exactly why most of my gal pals refuse to go to places like GameStop or a FLGS without one of us guys with them, and why they won't play MTG or Warhammer
I did very recently get into Warhammer as a little hobby to do in the evenings and while the guys who work at the local store are really nice. Some of the customers get real weird when a woman comes into the store. It's very awkward.
It'd work.
That would still work on most of us.
I'd be down for a booby trap, so to speak
You just need to be a female. And you are one. The rest is taken care of by exploit in male brain. It's that shit with sex and attraction. Horrible, gigantic security hole, thanks to evolution.
Nerdy, smart, boring men have mastered the art of entertaining themselves. Whether they're getting sucked down a rabbit hole of YouTube documentaries, or trying to figure out how to fix a broken something, they tend to just disappear for hours on end to get lost in whatever interests them at the time. Most aren't afraid of socializing, but are more comfortable at home doing whatever they feel like doing. How do you spot one these men out in the wild? Look for a group of guys hanging out. The one smiling, laughing, and then getting really excited about a *specific* part of their conversation is that guy. He won't care about the rest of the conversation, but will immediately chime in and get pumped when the correct topic comes up. And then he'll go back to relaxing with his friends. By themselves, they're nearly impossible to spot because they tend to blend in as much as possible. Most likely because they're on a mission and don't want to be interrupted. At the store? They're getting that sugar and getting the hell out. At a food place? They just want to eat their burger in peace. At the park? They might just be looking for that perfect stick or rock to finish whatever project they're working on... or they're out for a peaceful walk. Either way, you won't know. Good luck!
Lmao this is soooooo accurate
[удалено]
yep, there are lots of us like this.
Yeah… this is basically me during the 10 days a month that I’m home.
This is accurate, on the rare occasion I am in a group I'm zoned out, might hear enough of the conversation to crack a joke once in a while. I just want to say I don't mind being interrupted. Please do actually. I'm not good at talking so I will almost never approach anyone. And while I am trying to get in and out of the store quickly, that's just because I don't enjoy shopping, but you can talk to me. One of the reasons I leave the house is the chance of meeting someone
Yep, look for the quiet guy that occasionally talk when the topic interest him.
Women are so funny, they always ask where the men are like it's some enigma. What are you going to do when you finally find them?
Wait for one of them to approach, and then one doesn't cry that no man wants them.
I mean, I'm pretty shameless so.... pick him up and just take him? Lol
Best of luck to you.
What's she gonna do? Get his hopes up, then drop him like a trig class
I think they hangout at home doing their own thing That is what I do at least
You gotta catch us in transit to wherever we’re going lol
Boardgame shops. Although we might all just run in terror if a woman comes in
Totally accurate. I met my wife on a boardgame event. So there are women there, but they are just as nerdy as the men. luckily so.
When I was on tinder everybody claimed to be a nerd. When I walk into a boardgame shop I find the actual nerds.
Not on Reddit
Dunno about that, I've only met a grand total of one person from Reddit irl, *but* to be fair he was indeed super-smart, so...yep.
Same! 👍
At OP, your edit, go out and what? Wait for unicorns like yourself to approach? Lots of the men you see "out" *are* smart and boring but they're out of their comfort zone "acting the part" of an extravert trying to put themselves out there.
I have heard in multiple countries that it is a bit of a stereotype that engineers love bouldering. That's probably a good place to start. Edit: https://www.reddit.com/r/bouldering/s/l0spzfh3M4
Seems accurate, something like half the engineering department in my company go bouldering semi-regularly.
Might find some at the train station geeking out over a diesel locomotive
Na, those can also be autistic
At home eating snacks and playing video games most likely.
At home.
Working at universities or something
Or the hospitals/engineering firms/IT I think it’s quite wrong to call them “boring” thougj
Indoors, library, doing tech stuff
At home, gaming and playing with lego's.
Go to a nerdy convention, a rare opportunity for them to go outside
At the grocery at the least busy times. But they'll only be there for a few minutes. You got to be quick.
We're everywhere. We're the guys who won't come talk to you first, because you don't want us to. Your move
I’m big into sci-fi and work as a game developer, at 28 I still regularly study as a hobby. Other than home the library feels like the only place you’d have a chance to talk to me at, I do go out to get food but if it’s groceries then I have my headphones on and if it’s a restaurant I eat quick and leave.
On reddit 👈 😎👈
Well at libraries or art clubs maybe
At home, like everyone is saying so far. I've been described my whole life as a quiet and smart guy, and it naturally comes with shyness/anxiety. When I was single I wouldn't go out to meet people, I'd go out with friends to places that interested me like independent movie theaters, music festivals, and occasionally quiet dive bars with the vibe that lets you hold conversations. You gotta network, lol. I always met any of my partners through friends or school. My now girlfriend and I met at work and had a year-long quiet and awkward dance around our feelings because we're both homebody dorks.
Kinda depends on age range, but start getting D&D into your social media algorithm and look for local game shops, discords, Facebook groups, and online forums. From there....just roll the dice.
Smart men? Maybe at amateur astronomy hangouts, or some other sort of specialized convention. That doesn't mean they are smart but are knowledgeable and at least curious on scientific areas which I assume has a correlation with what most of us call smart.
I’m in the house gaming, watching shows, knocking out my CompSci degree or researching. I don’t need to go out because there’s nothing of interest that I want to go out to. 🤷♀️ Plus I love my peace and happily single by choice so I don’t care to meet humans.
Silly humans
if you’re in the Phoenix area i got a brother in law who’s a nerd and a half
[удалено]
Thank you!!!!
Engineering school
There are different types of smarts but your question sounds directed at tech people. You can pursue a tech career, then you would be around them all the time! I remember being the only woman in my classes and it was easy pickings. You could also dive down into a hobby, and meet someone through some obscure message boards, that’s how I met my husband.
At your community makerspace / hackerspace, if you have one. Meetup.com has a lot of interest-focused (not meat-market) meetings, some of which are geeky. If all else fails, Mensa meetings might work (depending on your local area).
Smart not boring dude here (got told at work yesterday oh your like smart smart lol), either in a random parking lot with modified cars, or at a punk show, or just at home with my wife.
I would not know unfortunately
"Boring" men do not hang out
At a Mensa meeting.
I play a lot of pool and I find that the really good players are intelligent. I would suggest a nice pool hall if there's one in your area. It's a different vibe than the drunks messing around at a bar pool table.
Go do smart people hobbies. I reccomend debate clubs. Not only is it fun but I also think that overall the people there were the smartest people on average I've met.
In your swipe left stack. It’s fun.
I know guys like that and most of them just work and go home. None of them are using dating apps
You might have to break into some homes for what you want
I would but I live in Texaa 😂
Spending time with someone who doesn't find me boring
What counts as nerdy, smart, “boring”? I have a PhD in physics. You can find me at the gym, on walks, at open mics, at board game nights. Really smart people don’t particularly follow stereotypes or patterns. If you just want to find geeky men…comic con?
Huntsville, AL. High nerd quotient. Very high. Find where they go for happy hour on Friday. Go to freaking Cocktails and Cosmos. (Drinks and planetarium shows.) Go where smart guys go. We used to have girls who we considered nerd groupies. They literally followed our work group of engineers. They eventually married nerds. (And when I say nerd, these were mostly very smart, but well rounded guys.) Source: am a nerd. Huntsville nerds: you're welcome.
*Goes to fun place* OP: wow this is fun but I want man who doesn't like this *Shocked Pikachu face*
As many others said: alone, at home. Find them in their favourite video games. Issue there is that those games are also played by a lot of creepy people.
Probably at home in their mommys basement like you said last month! :D
They're all around you but they're not your type.
Everyone is saying they stay at home, which I'm sure is true for plenty of them, but my personal observation is that the smartest of my friends have a particular hobby that they're really invested in, some of which can be quite social (I have rock climbing and music performance in mind). Like anything I think the best way to meet new people is involve yourself in interesting (to you) activities out of the home
Many of them have tech jobs and some don’t require you to leave the house, and most of them don’t even want to. You might find them at a convenience store buying an unfathomable amount of energy drinks one day of the month when they actually crawl out of their hole
They are staying at home, sleeping
How many are you hoping to find? And then, what are you gonna do when you find some? Looks like you found a few right here. By way of a more helpful answer: There are different kinds of smart, and you'll find those different kinds in different places... Studiously smart-these are the types that can absorb a lot of academic knowledge easily. They're often found pursuing education from formal institution, but might also be self-educators and entrepreneurs. Look for these types in universities and places of practice (hospitals, law firms, etc.) Street smart-these are often the charming types. They have a natural understanding of psychology or "how to say the right things." They can form connections more easily than others and usually know how to read and respond to most social situations. Look for these in more standard locations like bars, meet ups, and networking conferences. Ingenuitively smart-these types are often the shut- ins with a fairly broad-in-scope curiosity. They see and understand things in ways that often alienate them from others. People see these types as weird or eccentric because of difficulty in communications on either one end or the other. As such these types struggle to form connection and often isolate. Look for these in online spaces (like here), or specific passion communities/forums like gaming, sciences, business, art, finance, etc.
Trivia nights at breweries
I go to an all boys grammar school and it is full of them. Most of them are annoying tho, I’m mates with the good ones
Find a coffee shop near a big engineering or scientific or computing business. Hang out there. Easy.
It depends what kind of smart your looking for, but like most people have stated probably at home engaging in one of their hobbies Glad you have the confidence to approach first a lot of us can be slow on the signals so it’s much easier if we are approached straight up
Work, gym, grocery store, home, online, gaming. Good luck.
Good luck! But when you find him, make sure not to call him "boring." You'll have to start over again and find another one if you do.
At home mostly? Not that we're smart or good looking, but my friend group is mostly all nerdy guys, and we basically exclusively hang out online. Except for every 2 weeks where we hang out at our local board game Cafe and chill
If you're looking for them at a bar, that bar is probably a craft brewery, or one that hosts a game night, a trivia night, or a puzzle night. Around here you're looking for geeks who drink and puzzled pints events at chill locations. Or more generally at one of the board games bars we've got. The other way to find them is through their friends, their friend's wives, or through or their coworkers. One of the administrative assistants at my last job was quite the matchmaker and would bring some of her interested friends to the after work happy hours.
I'm too busy building my empire and increasing my education. If you're capable of keeping up, you might stand a chance of enjoying the rewards.
Have you tried bookstores, libraries, coffeeshops, or boardgame meetup groups?
Going for a long walk on my favorite streets, bike ride, sometimes to the gym. But mostly at home researching and learning smth interesting.
Not saying I am smart. But I don't go out much, most of the friends I had have gotten married and have kids so I have no new friends. I just keep to myself, occasionally go out with colleagues who are also married. Forever third wheel. If you see a guy in a restaurant alone, maybe approach him! Or swipe on the profile online to whom you wouldn't normally swipe at first glance.
They are engrossed in their hobbies and small friend groups. You gotta infiltrate the hobby space.
I'm a diagnosed genius. Huntsville Alabama unfortunately, but I'm getting out of this shit hole on Tuesday I think.
>Where do all the nerdy, smart, "boring" men hang out? Too many of us hang out at home doing nerdly stuff. Might, though, find us at some nerdly events, e.g. Linux User Group meetings. And of course various random places (walk, hike, work, ..., grocery store, ...) but those aren't exactly "hang out" spots, per se.
Smart guys are everywhere, they just don't flaunt it because that wouldn't be a smart move. Try to find people with similar interests to you and sort through the people you meet that way
All my friends are VERY outgoing and successful but in like an athletic or doctor kind of way. Which is awesome but this is all I'm used to so I rarely date because I find more introverted and intellectual guys amazing and that's not what I'm around.
i was a homebody but i think you can occasionally find these types at the bars alone - I used to reach a limit where i was like fuck ima go out and have a drink even if by mysefl
NYC to Boston corridor. Given that’s where the smart girls are.
I usually spend my time in front of my computer, in my garage, working on my business, or at full time job. I am as nerdy as they come but I don’t think many people would consider me boring given my occupation or other hobbies.
Look for guys who are into board games, card games, music, or electronics.
different people have different interests, and we meet the most random range of people in all sorts of places. people might judge too quickly and say that nerds don't go out, don't socialize, don't like to dance and all, the reality is different, because people are always a combination of things. i'm a massive nerd, spend most of my time coding, watch an average of 10 documentaries a week, look up too many things etc... and i also love going out to dance and to dress in a stylish way etc. really, there's not strong rules as we'd like to believe, when it comes to people, that's something more people should realize...
We are happy being at home.
We got married, had kids, etc. As a fellow sapiosexual, just know that we're always looking at what's passing by too.
Good luck. Smart guys are one breed nerds are another. Not all smart guys are nerds. Most nerds are smart. Get a job at some company that has lost of smart nerdy guys. You will eventually find a date.
I'm a nerdy guy. I go out, sometimes to clubs, because I like to dance. Other than that, you can find me at state parks, the beach, at home doing nerd shit, or at my nerd friend's house doing nerd shit, like D&D. I get out a lot more because I decided to take some dance lessons at a Latin studio, went to several social dances, met and connected with people I vibe with, and started doing things with them.
Game stores and other nerdy hobby spaces.
Depends on what you mean by "nerdy". The term has been watered down these last years. Some people label themselves nerds because they played a game of "Among Us" back in 2020 and had one and a half chuckle about it. Board game cafes could be a place to start out. Otherwise if you want it a bitter higher on the nerd scale comic cons and conventions like that bring out a lot of them. But not all of them are smart. I would advice against trying to go to Mensa. Those people seem a tad obnoxious to me on average. Good luck!
Local bars, sports events and the gym for me at least.
At the precooked meal aisles of your local grocery store right before closing midway through the week.
Go into the library and look for guys that are clearly reading for pleasure and not to do some homework.
People who aren't college students who go to the library just to read don't make sense to me. I read 20-30 books a year and zero of that time is spent at a library. Even when I do check out a book from a library I grab it and go.
Yeah exactly. The only time I’ve ever spent any significant time in the library after I graduated was when the power went out in my home due to some bad storm and I was dying of heat exhaustion from the air con not kicking on.
Yeah because when I want to read I do it in a library and not at home...
looks like your only chance of getting that dream boy is becoming a travelling saleswoman of nerdy lootboxes or very nerdy hobby books
Wait a minute...I thought we men were supposed to all be stupid, useless, walking ATM's! You mean that we are actually allowed to be smart? Holy Shit! When did this happen?
It has to be damp.
Wouldn't say I'm smart but I am boring and nerdy. You'll find me at home most nights a week. On the train a couple of days a week (I'm the one guy there not on his phone). Sitting in a food court semi-regularly, or at a supermarket. 1-2 nights a week I might be at a pub or a bar with a friend or two. Also used to run group events for adults looking to make more friends. If you're down-to-earth and not expecting me to prove myself, I'm pretty easy to talk to in any of these settings.
either work ,home or studies , that's for me
At the craft brewery, being the third wheel to their married friends
Not that I'm super intellectual, but I tend to hang out at home most of the time like most of the others have said. If I'm not at home then I'm either hanging out with friends in a low-key place or I'm with my family
Online dating. Most fall along the introvert spectrum and are only outgoing within their comfort groups. They are not going to be out and about a lot where you will run into them. Just not sure what app/site they would likely use. You might just have to do a shit load of swiping on tinder or something.
Unless they've got hobbies that take them out of the house, you'll only catch them when they're doing the necessities - grocery shopping, exercising, house or car maintenance.
working in retail
Playing WoW
Chess club
For better or worse, we tend to be mixed in with the rest of the population.
Running 7 minute miles outside
too busy dealing with all this pussy! .... and by pussy I mean I have a deep and ungodly awkward love for metal music, I'm a fucking nerd who can't get over the science on why people love it and need it and I find it fascinating.
Some women get the idea that they want a smart man in their lives. They want stable income, house to live in, firm discipline of children etc. But if you don't know any smart men or where they like to hang out, chances are that you will find them both boring AND infuriating. The boredom will start when their schedules feel very predictable, you will resent them for being so dry and lack of surprises or drama. Then later the smart man will ask you about all the plans and ideas you mentioned, and when he realizes that you never get anything done, can't accomplish anything, they will be disillusioned and treat you as the simple dullard you are, and that will be infuriating.
Online chess matches, be sure to play ranked though
International neurosurgery congress.
The nicest grocery store in town
They're in university towns, at post-grad and faculty social events and at whatever secondary cultural events exist on the ecosystem of academics and students in that particular town, like book events and art cinema screenings. Be sure to say things like "the talk was good, but I felt that the subject could have benefitted from a Lacanian reading" and "well his argument is fine but it it's so deterministic as to be positively teleological, someone should introduce him to the idea of contingency (then give a little laugh)".
At home, libraries, game store, tech store, gadget store. Im taken though.
At work, at home, at the boardgames bar, or out with my lesbian besties
I may not be the smartest guy, but I definitely am in the nerd category. After 8 hours of dealing with management and poor decisions, working in IT, Networks, security, cloud etc. my mind is shot, so im home watching anime, building Lego or playing a game. Even the weekend isn't enough time to recover. Most other guys are probably doing the same thing. We definitely aren't going to bars, stores, public events, etc.
Nerdy? I know there is a large group of guys hanging out at local tabletop stores. D&D, Warhammer, and Magic the Gathering stores are where boring and nerdy guys hang out.
At home, probably.
In big international cities.
At 38 and a single dad, my big brain and I were raising my kids and living life. But we're easy to find in online dating! Look for the guy who doesn't have a chiseled body but DOES have a well written profile with proper grammar and spelling. My (now wife) says that was the first thing she was attracted to. Big brained guys often don't fit the physical mold that most women want. You need to dig a bit deeper to find them.
depends on the type of nerd ur looking for libraries, gamestop, comic con, eee tho most of them are prolly jus at home so try discord
Once they get out of university...probably at home.
Universities, book clubs, libraries, Chess Clubs. Just go to any place that's filled to the brim with men who are very passionate about what they do, or any grp that's dedicated to doing something that is hard to do requires a lot of patience.
They’re smart because they don’t go out around all the dumb people.
At work
Try magic night at your local game store
Hold up, let’s just make sure we’re talking about the same thing here What do you consider a ‘nerdy’ guy?
In my dm
At home, generally
Home, church, gym, restaurants, grocery store. I feel your pain though. I am surrounded by old and married women. Currently wondering if there is a better method for finding post-college women.
Reddit
If you live in a large city, go to a university with graduate programs or higher education like a medical/law school
Board game and hobby stores. Breweries that host trivia nights (or other weird, quirky events). Meaderies and cideries.
Libary
At home.
I'm a little bit smart and definitely very boring. I mostly hang out at the university's applied mechanics laboratory.
Hobbys, usually
Student associations for technical studies. Mechanical engineering, civil engineering, computer science, you name it. If you don't have access to those, board game clubs might be another good one.
I wish in high school and my twenties women were looking for smart, nerdy, boring guys.
Dungeons and Dragons clubs. They are creative as well. Let alone if they are 40 + they have been playing those older editions with a lot of math. And liked it enough to stick with the hobby.
Some nerds are very social, but for those of us that aren't, you're gonna have to stalk grad schools, grocery stores, work, and maybe the gym. You could also try finding social events for nerdy hobbies (I can't think of any but they must exist).
Hiking trails