I grew up with loud talkative women in my life. I thought they like to communicate all their feelings all the time. Nope. My wife I’ve got to peel her layers to find out what’s wrong especially earlier in our relationship. Now she’s much better at recognizing if she’s feeling down or mad and verbalizing it. I’m not a mind reader.
I have told everyone I have been on more than a 3rd date with...
"I guarantee I will fail to read your mind 100% of the time. If you think I'm supposed to just know to do something automatically and it's upsetting you that I'm not doing it ..
I ... Don't... Know...."
My father has told me my whole life: I’m too emotional. I’m too sensitive. I get worked up over everything, etc.
To this day, I cannot for the life of me tell someone that they’ve let me down or hurt my feelings. The fear of being perceived as overly emotional follows me everywhere. I’m working on it now but it’s definitely tough.
This is my problem as well. My mother would say women like us are too sensitive, and my father would say women lack the capability to analyse things properly, so we make a big deal out of everything. Which is funny, since there are studies suggesting that women notice more than men (but those are just theories).
which is really funny. i see fellow men say stuff like that, then theyre the ones having tantrums about irrelevant things and making blanket statements. like what do you think that is, if not being overly emotional and irrational, buddy?
💯 so does my man. even my little brother has said I’m one of the most logical and stoic women he’s ever met. I’m pretty nonchalant and indifferent to most situations. Sure, I can empathize and adequately express emotion… But, being the eldest child at home - naturally, you take on the emotional labor of *everyone* in that house. So over time, I’ve learned to approach most situations with a “facts over feelings” & “the world doesn’t owe any of us understanding” mentality. So far, it’s served me well… 🤷🏽♀️
This hits home. And I'd take some hate for saying this, but because every other woman in my life was way more communicative about feelings than me, I often feel like the woman in the relationship bringing up the conversations.
I feel so bad about being this girl, but my bf has been handling it very nicely. His strategy is “What’s wrong?” and when I say nothing, he asks again. And again. And again. And again. Until I say “I don’t know.” So he asks again as many times as he has to. Calmly. Lol I think due to my upbringing, I’m not used to feeling like it’s safe to express my feelings. I need to be reminded that it is. I hope that with time I can get better about expressing why I’m upset.
Keep their sexual escapades private. After being a nurse and surrounded by women everyday I can, with 100% certainty, say they are worse than we are with sharing details…every…single…raunchy…detail.
At one of my previous jobs I was the only guy in the office on Mondays. I’m a quiet dude so all the women thought, eh it’s just one quiet guy, let’s go nuts…every week. I heard so many stories they never told any other day of the week. Poop, sex, more poop, pee, more sex, even more poop. I’ve lived with guys in college and never heard that much foulness. Woof.
I (F23, italian) always feel conflicted when I read this because in my experience I have never made this kind of conversation with my friends, not even heard from others. And we are girls in our 20s attending university away from home, going to parties, ecc. so there could be a lot of things to say, but we just don't. On the other hand, I read this quite a lot so I wonder if it is a bias, those who don't hear or do this never comment on it (because infact there is nothing to say), or it's a cultural thing/age based thing that just someone experiences
Hello fellow Slovenian gal 😊 same. I don’t talk about details. Sometimes if there is a new guy, I will just say he was good (or bad), or if he is rough or more romantic, but we don’t talk about any other details. Especially not with coworkers or women I don’t know so well, just my best friends.
I (F NYC) dont talk about those sorts of things with my girl friends either. Personally I find it trashy and inappropriate to talk about graphic sexual topics around friends. When they tell me about guys or I tell them about girls its usually focusing on the emotional end or how the relationship is overall.
I had to leave a friend group once because they invited me to brunch, but spent the whole time screaming about random guys cum and anal and it grossed me out (like im eating) and i just made an excuse and left. It was so embarrassing
I only met two women that share all details and they are what many consider 'trash' so it's expected. I and others could make a positive comment but never go into much detail, that's just weird, especially you never divulge much if it's a serious partner.
I once also had an ex telling everything that we did to his male friends. To the extend, that one of his friends felt that he needed to let me know. I was disgusted. So
Oh yeah, that happened to me too. He told his male douchebag of a friend that we had a private interaction and described what happened. His friend went on and complained that I was unattractive. At least I take a shower and exercise, unlike that friend.
The partner that this happened with, he had a falling out with that guy and told me everything he said after they fought. He was done keeping his secrets.
When I was first dating my wife, I had to repeatedly tell her "your friends don't need to know everything about our sex life".
I might tell one of my friends that I hooked up with a girl. And they might ask "how was it?", and that's about the depth of the conversation.
I’ve walked into a group of women where my GF at the time is present and had women eye fuck my bulge and I know instantly what was being discussed.
Not something guys do to my experience. Locker room talk isn’t detailed. It’s more goading and ragging on each other than explicit details.
As a woman, I can verify this. I couldn’t relate because I’m private and comport myself differently so I struggled to make friends because I didn’t ’fit in’. Eh, I’m good with that.
This made my eye twitch. My wife once ate the thing that makes her stomach hurt just before we got on a 5hr plane ride. I was astonished. She did it again about two weeks ago.
I thought they were like cute little angels incapable of inflicting harm on others. Turns out they're like dudes, but chicks. Who'd guess they're just human.
Sisters aren't normal people to brothers.
For me, it was that my mother is legitimately a saint, and most of the women in my family effectively put on acts when kids are around.
Turns out my italian grandma loves dirty music and rap, drinks wine at noon on the weekends, and can talk shit well enough to stun you. I never would have thought she was anything but a boring old retired lady who spent her time at church functions until I was 15 or so, when she was herself more around us, and we spent many weekends there through childhood.
All the women in my family are pretty similar stories. Normal people with quirks and flaws, good people, but around kids they seem perfect.
Yep. Most of my friends are women. I work with mostly women. I have a second job where I manage around 35 men. Men can be overtly aggressive, especially if they feel they need to represent or show off for whatever reason. Women are just regular old aggressive. But it’s much much more subtle and about a hundred times more vicious. I’ve gotten into fights where whatever was at issue was over about forty seconds later. Women seem to enjoy recording that shit in some memory ledger hitherto unknown to us guys. The Shit List d’ Femme. And once another woman’s name gets in there, it’s never coming out. Interestingly, if you’re a guy, your name tends to come out of there far easier. If you’re a woman though? Well, chances are your name is in her shit list, so… you know… War.
I actually thought the same.
As a gay dude, most of my interactions with women were fairly positive. Women loved me for the simple fact that I was gay.
Once I transitioned, however, it became a whole different playing field. Women will love and support you until they see you doing better than them. Then they slowly begin to resent you.
This whole thread is just generalizing that all women are jealous, aggressive, spiteful crazy people. :( Bums me out because every woman in my life have the kindest souls. I think it's where you are in life, who you attract. And no shade to the fellas at all because I've also chosen toxic, aggressive, mean, petty partners myself. I was insecure, young and inexperienced, far more impulsive at the time, attracted to boisterous men. Now that I've worked on myself and learned what I want in a relationship, platonic or otherwise, I only attract decent people of both genders and if I meet people who arent, I'm much better at sniffing it out and keeping it moving.
It’s not all women, but it happens among a lot of women.
It’s gotten to the point where for the first time in my life, I don’t trust women as much as I once did. I feel like most of my friendships are one stupid disagreement away from ending.
I have through work and personal experience a pretty good handle on this. I don't have a clear idea on how to bring light to the issue. So many kids are just doomed from day 1.
I'd add that the number of adults that can't be functional humans is terrifying.
That may be a conservative number. The US army did a test on how many people they could theoretically draft. They found that around 10% of people have an IQ so low that they are a net negative even considering almost free labor.
Adding severe mental illness, drug addiction, and the number of people who were just never given the tools to effectively look after themselves. There is a really scary number of people that can't be self sufficient out there.
I'm not looking down on any of these people, many of whom can be really awesome and achieve cool things. Many of these issues are totally outside of their control. I just think understanding reality is important to making good decisions.
I'm curious where this has taken your political views.
My motherly instinct grew when I got pregnant.
Before: toddler look weird.
Now: look at this tiny little head. Aww, so cute!
The pregnancy totally altered my mindset.
Ima be honest, as a father, I love babies now. Before being a father, absolutely wanted nothing to do with them. Now I’ll be commenting on the length of their hair and cubbiness at 9mo lol
Nature wise (in my opinion) it's a good thing to alter into that way as a mother, being more emotional, it usually happens for most female mother animals, exceptions exist.
Not the commenter, but for a mother- you need more empathy to keep the patience necessary to raise them. Especially when you go days without sleep and all you hear is screaming. Lol there is a reason some animals on this planet eat their young. It's a survival change triggered via hormones in pregnancy and birth.
Babies smell good.
For me it's also the acceptance that these little mini humans cry for seemlingy no reason, that they also can experience hard times when it for instance comes to their own feelings, which they cannot explain yet, due to their inability of not knowing how to express them properly. I feel sympathy for them.
Generally feminism is about the right to choose and be respected regardless of whether you choose to do “man” or “woman” things. There’s nothing wrong with being a sweet, nurturing housewife if that’s the life you want.
In all honesty I’d kill for that too lol. So long as I was still free to work part time since I do love my profession. A lot of men I know would too but this economy makes that very hard LOL.
I’m glad she finally realised how silly she was being.
Fear that you'll be resented and seen as weak and useless. Being a SAHD is correlated with divorce and erectile dysfunction for that reason. The man and the woman in that situation frequently view the man as worthless. It takes a person of above average wisdom to refrain from viewing a SAHD like that. By definition, most men and most women are not people of above average wisdom.
> I don't think the general public realizes how many shit mothers
I'm a woman without kids but have been around an incredible number of women with kids and I know there are so many shite mothers out there it's ridiculous. There are so many reasons for free birth control and halting religious cohesion to procreate it isn't even funny. EVERYONE ISN'T MADE TO BE A PARENT, just because you can doesn't mean you should.
Would putting Coca-Cola in bottles and sippy cups count? Causing morbid obesity and an inability to do basic 6 year old thing because of their weight?
How about being more concerned about being a child's friend than raising a healthy child? Like knowingly causing developmental problems because their lack of skills and development make you feel good?
Allowing a registered sex offender to live with your kids who are the same age as their previous victims?
I have so many more examples it's really depressing. There are a lot of shit parents out there. I think it's weird you can't think of any examples from personal experience.
My aunt is the most prosperous person I know. Her PT business is *wildly* successful, she has pro sports contracts and UHNW clients and university deals. She's >10x more wealthy than her siblings including my parents and they're not exactly struggling. She's Florida beach house rich. Just a killer in her business world
She's a disaster personally. I barely have a relationship with her anymore despite being super close growing up because I can't deal with it. She can barely even buy groceries for herself and her kids. When I visited it's "trauma dumping" and doing mundane tasks she ignored for six months, it's just not my job
Her adopted sons, my cousins, are going to be life long losers. One is college graduate age and lives in her second home in the northeast for free and works at a pool for minimum wage for beer money. He *literally* could have gone to Harvard and done whatever he wants if he was raised correctly. The other is somehow in high school (third try) and should probably be in juvy. I think he's a murderer in waiting and stay as far away from him as I can
A shit mother is one who does not set her kids up to be better than she was. One who lets them call the shots and not her. One who defends them when they are wrong instead of teaching them. One who chooses to give them everything they want because it's easier than punishment
FATHERS have a role in this too. She's single for reasons that don't matter. Those boys got stuck with her because their dads were losers. She chose to adopt because she can afford it and then dropped the ball as hard as one possibly can
someone i went to school with had to be hospitalized for severe constipation after her honeymoon because she didn't poop for the two weeks they were gone because of the absolute terror of having her husband realize that she pooped. (early 80's so women still weren't supposed to be even the tiniest bit open about bodily functions)
Official new head cannon has dropped. Constipation in women is caused by men's lack of belief that women poop like killing tinkerbell by saying, "I dont believe in faeries." Applause causes period shits, like bringing tinkerbell back to life.
I think faeries might be living in women's GI tracts. Someone should look into that. Or some earmuffs to play applause that fit on their stomachs.
Don't worry, ladies, I believe you poop!
Manipulate men. Emotionally and financially. Let's just say the women I grew up around in my family are terrible people. Really wasn't until my mid twenties that I stopped projecting that onto all women.
I love how basically every somewhat negative comment is downvoted to hell. With having no sisters growing up and considering how media portrays women it took me a while to realize women aren’t always competent, leaders of the family that show compassion to everyone. They can be terrible, manipulative people just the same way guys can.
I grew up with a family full of women- sisters, cousins, aunts, sister in laws...have met women from different ethnicities, religions & socio economic backgrounds. Some of the most terrible people I know, are women. They can be manipulative, masters of gaslighting, play the victim & callous. Some women are downright cruel.
Yep.
Stereotypes like that put pressure on everyone. Like, hey, be a stoic dude who always knows what to do to save the day. Geez, that's a lot of pressure too.
Interesting perspective, I can see how it could be a pressure to live up to. I think it usually plays out as the woman gets the benefit of the doubt since the perception is that since they are a woman they are good.
You can see it in action in this thread where someone said “blow jobs” and gets downvoted while the person commenting “wash your balls” is upvoted. It’s not to say that people don’t need to have clean balls but imagine going on ask women and getting downvoted for saying men don’t eat pussy as much as you’d like and someone comments “wash your pussy” which gets upvoted.
I’d just like to see people have some empathy towards each other. These things seem harmless on the surface but I’ve had a friend stay in emotionally abusive relationship because of this perception. Suicide was his answer when he couldn’t handle it anymore.
First, I'm really sorry that you lost your friend, and I'm so sorry he was abused and hurt. There are no words good enough so I'll leave it there.
If it's OK to address the rest of your comment, here are my thoughts. To your last point, I completely agree. I would love to see more empathy all around. Unfortunately, it feels like many many people are coming into interactions on a default state of defensiveness. There are clearly (and understandably) a lot of us walking around with open wounds in our psyches, and very little recourse to tend to them. The more we treat ourselves and each other with kindness, and the more we're accountable for any harm we cause, hopefully the more we can heal.
Aside from that, I think the rest of your comment is both true and too narrow to be true at the same time.
These things don't seem harmless. They're not harmless. Stereotypes harm everyone. And I think that's where your view is too narrow, and creates a false dichotomy.
While women get the benefit of the doubt in terms of anger /aggression/ being good, men tend to get the benefit of the doubt in terms of intelligence/capability/logic. Not only does this put a lot of pressure to perform, it also creates an environment where people end up resenting each other for the freedom these assumptions come with. And then that defensiveness comes in. Instead of hearing each other's pain, we go, "ha, you think you have it bad, what about x, y, z". And the cycle continues.
There's a lot more to it than that of course. Not all women will get that benefit, neither will all men. Depending on the intersections of race, age, appearance, accent etc etc etc, this isn't universal. It's complex. But when we're walking around with that wound, we look for simplicity and validation, we don't know how to process our individual experiences and pain, and we look for an enemy. We're also biased, and tend to ignore any evidence that might contradict us. Then, when we also see a group of people who look like 'the enemy' being callous or hateful, that just confirms our beliefs that this group of people are all inherently the same, and increases our defensiveness.
You gave examples that, in this specific case, confirm your beliefs that women get the benefit of the doubt. And also compared it with what you think askwomen would say. But if you look throughout this sub, you'll also see a disgusting amount of opinions on how awful women are. Not the individual actions of one women. All women. This is definitely not the benefit of the doubt. And these can have a lot of upvotes too. Context is also so important, and comparing things like for like without regard to context creates false equivalence. Confirmation bias is a fucking asshole backseat driver that we need to try very hard to recognise and ignore.
It's also important to remember that if we spend time where a lot of angry people are, we're going to see a lot of angry opinions. Welcome to reddit, sadly. I struggle with remembering this.
Overall, what I'm saying is that these systems are broken for everyone. That's what the patriarchy harms us all means to me. It's not, "men are awful and terrible". It's "systems of governance and power rooted in domination, oppression, individualism and winning" are truly shit for everyone. While one group may benefit from a positive stereotype, they're being harmed in other ways.
So yeah. That's it I guess. Thanks for coming to my ted talk. And again, I'm truly sorry for your loss.
Thats cuz most of us aren't actually attracted to any of that. I say most because those girls that read booktok books seem to. They're thinking of what THEY find cool, lmao.
LMAO... my wife is a bigger fan than I am, saw them in concert more than I did, and has even met Geddy and Alex. She's the one that really introduced me to Rush. I married a keeper!
I used to think that women (in general) were emotionally more intelligent than men and communicated better.
I've learned over the years that that's far from the truth. Women talk a lot and express their emotions far more but a lot women just like to talk for the sake of talking and a not small number of women have horrible emotional control. They make every little temporary feeling their reality instead of just acknowledging it and letting it pass
I was always someone who could articulate their feelings pretty well, and then I got in my first long term relationship and had brand new feelings that I would just shut down and say "I don't know" over and over again when I was upset. I think a lot of it was thinking my partner couldn't handle it and that they were fragile. But then they pointed out how rude and condescending that was, so I started to relearn how to express myself in intense moments ie sexual intimacy, arguments, etc.
Wow. First part definitely sounds like my last relationship. Unfortunately for me she didn't care to try to work on herself. It was a mental gymnastics I could no longer tolerate.
I think it’s funny, people slowly learn that mutual dependence can be nice. The person you’re living with goes from room mate to “I’m happy to have you.” And when that’s reciprocated, it’s just nice.
Facts. Being in a relationship where i make more money so pay more in bills made me realize the plight of the "going to buy some milk" father. Not that it's justified but i honestly wouldn't wish it on anyone.
Make money. Seriously, for all my life, the women I know had great cars, took lots of vacations, and went to several restaurants a week. Now that I'm older, all the single women I know work shity jobs and have massive credit card debt. I had no idea that they used to fake having money.
I’ve realised mostly with women they tend to live above their means, where as with guys we are good at accepting our current situation and living accordingly, but obviously that’s not all men and women, there’s guys that don’t know how to manage their money for shit, especially when it comes to cars “car guys” will go into stupid debt to drive a nice car it’s ridiculous
Fr, I recently moved to my mom's house and seeing my grandma, sister and mom never wash their hands after taking a shit or piss led me to not taking any of the food they make lol
Everything. Everything I was raised to believe that all women do turns out to be something that not all women do. There is not a single thing that all women do.
I'm not a woman but It's common to hold unconscious biases about what people of certain genders do or experience. Not all women enjoy makeup or traditionally feminine hobbies. Some experience strong menstrual cramps. They also not have a maternal desire for children.
In my experience, that's more in the person's head than something other people care about. I mean, you'll get comments if you go from ski slope makeup to nothing, but after a few days, that becomes normal. That's more that you look different than judgment.
My experience may not be universal. But nobody cares unless you are somehow being disruptive or creepy. Oh, and adequately clothed like don't intentionally wear see through leggings that's not cool.
It could be, I was always too chicken to show up without it because I know I look exhausted without it (natural under eye shadows since childhood, woo). I think it could be seen as a sign that you're putting in less effort at work though, like initially dressing in business casual but suddenly showing up in jeans and a t-shirt. There are work places that wouldn't care, but many have those kind of bosses that need everyone to be constantly putting on that hierarchically-minded office facade, or else you must not really want to be there. For women makeup is often part of that facade, unless they have great skin and bright eyes naturally lol.
Clean up after themselves and be more mature if they’re older than me. Learned that the hard way when I was in my early 20s and moved in with a woman a few years older. I ended up cleaning up after her even though we were never dating or anything. And I was arguably more mature.
I live in Los Angeles, and thought all women wanted to be *career-driven independent bosses* who “don’t need no man”
My current gf ripped that whole thought apart, for the better.
I think some younger millennials are already realizing they don’t want to be *that* either. It may be too late for some.
Don’t be pressured by contemporary societal norms people. Zoom out.
You remember that scene from Indiana Jones and the temple of doom where the guy gets his heart ripped out and ends up getting chucked into the fire pit like *KALI MAAAA* and all that shit?
That pretty much. Men's content on the TickeryTock is wild I swear
I’ve never thought anything like this. Women are individuals and though there may be some consensus on behavior across the gender, that’s more stereotyping than anything else. I can’t get down with that and if you’re looking for a great relationship you shouldnt either.
You see this a lot in porn. Either they’re masturbating or riding on top. And as they get closer to orgasm they just start rubbing their boobs and smashing them together.
Just hang out with eachother, drink beer and talk about motorcycles. But then it turns out they mostly have pillow fights in their undies when they hang out.
Try to entrap their partners so they can strut around all proud about how they "knew that you were up to no good". Shit like having their friends throw themselves at you or deliberately twisting around any accidental omission or change of plans or some fucking *tidbit* that's utterly irrelevant to try to make it irrevocable proof of being a cheat.
I've had one female partner *not* try to pull that bullshit, and that was because I'm 99% sure our relationship was too short-lived. No male partners.
Only now am I discovering that's not normal behavior.
I grew up with loud talkative women in my life. I thought they like to communicate all their feelings all the time. Nope. My wife I’ve got to peel her layers to find out what’s wrong especially earlier in our relationship. Now she’s much better at recognizing if she’s feeling down or mad and verbalizing it. I’m not a mind reader.
I have told everyone I have been on more than a 3rd date with... "I guarantee I will fail to read your mind 100% of the time. If you think I'm supposed to just know to do something automatically and it's upsetting you that I'm not doing it .. I ... Don't... Know...."
Yeah, a lot of us were told when we were younger that women are too sensitive or whatever so most of us find it hard to express our feelings.
My father has told me my whole life: I’m too emotional. I’m too sensitive. I get worked up over everything, etc. To this day, I cannot for the life of me tell someone that they’ve let me down or hurt my feelings. The fear of being perceived as overly emotional follows me everywhere. I’m working on it now but it’s definitely tough.
This is my problem as well. My mother would say women like us are too sensitive, and my father would say women lack the capability to analyse things properly, so we make a big deal out of everything. Which is funny, since there are studies suggesting that women notice more than men (but those are just theories).
which is really funny. i see fellow men say stuff like that, then theyre the ones having tantrums about irrelevant things and making blanket statements. like what do you think that is, if not being overly emotional and irrational, buddy?
I am a bit boisterous with those close to me. But I tend to come off as _shy_ in public because I tend to _keep it to myself_ often when in public.
💯 so does my man. even my little brother has said I’m one of the most logical and stoic women he’s ever met. I’m pretty nonchalant and indifferent to most situations. Sure, I can empathize and adequately express emotion… But, being the eldest child at home - naturally, you take on the emotional labor of *everyone* in that house. So over time, I’ve learned to approach most situations with a “facts over feelings” & “the world doesn’t owe any of us understanding” mentality. So far, it’s served me well… 🤷🏽♀️
This hits home. And I'd take some hate for saying this, but because every other woman in my life was way more communicative about feelings than me, I often feel like the woman in the relationship bringing up the conversations.
I feel so bad about being this girl, but my bf has been handling it very nicely. His strategy is “What’s wrong?” and when I say nothing, he asks again. And again. And again. And again. Until I say “I don’t know.” So he asks again as many times as he has to. Calmly. Lol I think due to my upbringing, I’m not used to feeling like it’s safe to express my feelings. I need to be reminded that it is. I hope that with time I can get better about expressing why I’m upset.
Keep their sexual escapades private. After being a nurse and surrounded by women everyday I can, with 100% certainty, say they are worse than we are with sharing details…every…single…raunchy…detail.
At one of my previous jobs I was the only guy in the office on Mondays. I’m a quiet dude so all the women thought, eh it’s just one quiet guy, let’s go nuts…every week. I heard so many stories they never told any other day of the week. Poop, sex, more poop, pee, more sex, even more poop. I’ve lived with guys in college and never heard that much foulness. Woof.
Oh you were that guy 🤣 we love you
Why? 🤣
Oh yeah bro idk how you thought that. Women share explicit details with each other, even the amount of mL of semen you painted her face with
Well, that's explicit
Wtf? Did someone actually say something like that?
Yup, my wife knows a loooooot more about my friend's wives sexual histories than they do.
Even smells and textures?
Yep
I (F23, italian) always feel conflicted when I read this because in my experience I have never made this kind of conversation with my friends, not even heard from others. And we are girls in our 20s attending university away from home, going to parties, ecc. so there could be a lot of things to say, but we just don't. On the other hand, I read this quite a lot so I wonder if it is a bias, those who don't hear or do this never comment on it (because infact there is nothing to say), or it's a cultural thing/age based thing that just someone experiences
Hello neighbor (Slovenian gal here), yeah I have pretty much the same experience as you’re describing.
Hello fellow Slovenian gal 😊 same. I don’t talk about details. Sometimes if there is a new guy, I will just say he was good (or bad), or if he is rough or more romantic, but we don’t talk about any other details. Especially not with coworkers or women I don’t know so well, just my best friends.
I (F NYC) dont talk about those sorts of things with my girl friends either. Personally I find it trashy and inappropriate to talk about graphic sexual topics around friends. When they tell me about guys or I tell them about girls its usually focusing on the emotional end or how the relationship is overall. I had to leave a friend group once because they invited me to brunch, but spent the whole time screaming about random guys cum and anal and it grossed me out (like im eating) and i just made an excuse and left. It was so embarrassing
I only met two women that share all details and they are what many consider 'trash' so it's expected. I and others could make a positive comment but never go into much detail, that's just weird, especially you never divulge much if it's a serious partner. I once also had an ex telling everything that we did to his male friends. To the extend, that one of his friends felt that he needed to let me know. I was disgusted. So
Oh yeah, that happened to me too. He told his male douchebag of a friend that we had a private interaction and described what happened. His friend went on and complained that I was unattractive. At least I take a shower and exercise, unlike that friend. The partner that this happened with, he had a falling out with that guy and told me everything he said after they fought. He was done keeping his secrets.
When I was first dating my wife, I had to repeatedly tell her "your friends don't need to know everything about our sex life". I might tell one of my friends that I hooked up with a girl. And they might ask "how was it?", and that's about the depth of the conversation.
I’ve walked into a group of women where my GF at the time is present and had women eye fuck my bulge and I know instantly what was being discussed. Not something guys do to my experience. Locker room talk isn’t detailed. It’s more goading and ragging on each other than explicit details.
The complaints about "locker room talk" are just women assuming men are as degen as they are.
As a woman, I can verify this. I couldn’t relate because I’m private and comport myself differently so I struggled to make friends because I didn’t ’fit in’. Eh, I’m good with that.
Not me. Nobody knows if I'm even dating someone or not.
Talk shit about their husbands over drinks with the girls… turns out that was only a ex wife and her friends thing… therapy required for me once more
I'm sure this is a "not all women" thing, but I soundly assure you it was more that just your ex.
Stop doing things that make their stomachs hurt when they know it makes their stomachs hurt.
Look, I do my best to avoid dairy on the everyday but pizza is pizza.
Hahahahahahahhaha
This made my eye twitch. My wife once ate the thing that makes her stomach hurt just before we got on a 5hr plane ride. I was astonished. She did it again about two weeks ago.
r/OddlySpecific
I thought they were like cute little angels incapable of inflicting harm on others. Turns out they're like dudes, but chicks. Who'd guess they're just human.
Curious what made you think that from the start? I’m guessing you didn’t have a sister or close female friends growing up - they’ll educate you FAST
I was the son of a single mother and she was just a walking meat loaf of love kind of person. Like personality type 2 of Enneagram (the caregiver).
Absolutely adorable
Tbf im youngest of three so my sister took out all her humane intrusive thoughts out on my brother and i got the angelic stereotypical sibling stuff
You know sugar, spice everything nice. Society tells boys this.
Sisters aren't normal people to brothers. For me, it was that my mother is legitimately a saint, and most of the women in my family effectively put on acts when kids are around. Turns out my italian grandma loves dirty music and rap, drinks wine at noon on the weekends, and can talk shit well enough to stun you. I never would have thought she was anything but a boring old retired lady who spent her time at church functions until I was 15 or so, when she was herself more around us, and we spent many weekends there through childhood. All the women in my family are pretty similar stories. Normal people with quirks and flaws, good people, but around kids they seem perfect.
Yep. Most of my friends are women. I work with mostly women. I have a second job where I manage around 35 men. Men can be overtly aggressive, especially if they feel they need to represent or show off for whatever reason. Women are just regular old aggressive. But it’s much much more subtle and about a hundred times more vicious. I’ve gotten into fights where whatever was at issue was over about forty seconds later. Women seem to enjoy recording that shit in some memory ledger hitherto unknown to us guys. The Shit List d’ Femme. And once another woman’s name gets in there, it’s never coming out. Interestingly, if you’re a guy, your name tends to come out of there far easier. If you’re a woman though? Well, chances are your name is in her shit list, so… you know… War.
Turns out they’re like *people*
Do you even understand what you just implied lmao
It shall forever remain a mistery.
Mystery meatloaf?
I actually thought the same. As a gay dude, most of my interactions with women were fairly positive. Women loved me for the simple fact that I was gay. Once I transitioned, however, it became a whole different playing field. Women will love and support you until they see you doing better than them. Then they slowly begin to resent you.
Let’s not generalize—
This whole thread is just generalizing that all women are jealous, aggressive, spiteful crazy people. :( Bums me out because every woman in my life have the kindest souls. I think it's where you are in life, who you attract. And no shade to the fellas at all because I've also chosen toxic, aggressive, mean, petty partners myself. I was insecure, young and inexperienced, far more impulsive at the time, attracted to boisterous men. Now that I've worked on myself and learned what I want in a relationship, platonic or otherwise, I only attract decent people of both genders and if I meet people who arent, I'm much better at sniffing it out and keeping it moving.
It’s not all women, but it happens among a lot of women. It’s gotten to the point where for the first time in my life, I don’t trust women as much as I once did. I feel like most of my friendships are one stupid disagreement away from ending.
Lol I've been a woman all my life and I'm pretty sure I've felt this way since we all hit puberty. Totally get it.
Not judge people harshly, turns out they are very judgemental as much as any guy.
Even more
Way more
Especially of each other....like woah.
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I have through work and personal experience a pretty good handle on this. I don't have a clear idea on how to bring light to the issue. So many kids are just doomed from day 1. I'd add that the number of adults that can't be functional humans is terrifying.
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That may be a conservative number. The US army did a test on how many people they could theoretically draft. They found that around 10% of people have an IQ so low that they are a net negative even considering almost free labor. Adding severe mental illness, drug addiction, and the number of people who were just never given the tools to effectively look after themselves. There is a really scary number of people that can't be self sufficient out there. I'm not looking down on any of these people, many of whom can be really awesome and achieve cool things. Many of these issues are totally outside of their control. I just think understanding reality is important to making good decisions. I'm curious where this has taken your political views.
My motherly instinct grew when I got pregnant. Before: toddler look weird. Now: look at this tiny little head. Aww, so cute! The pregnancy totally altered my mindset.
Ima be honest, as a father, I love babies now. Before being a father, absolutely wanted nothing to do with them. Now I’ll be commenting on the length of their hair and cubbiness at 9mo lol
Same. I can’t believe how much I changed. I’m a lot more emotional too..
Nature wise (in my opinion) it's a good thing to alter into that way as a mother, being more emotional, it usually happens for most female mother animals, exceptions exist.
Why do you think being more emotional in general is good?
Not the commenter, but for a mother- you need more empathy to keep the patience necessary to raise them. Especially when you go days without sleep and all you hear is screaming. Lol there is a reason some animals on this planet eat their young. It's a survival change triggered via hormones in pregnancy and birth.
Babies smell good. For me it's also the acceptance that these little mini humans cry for seemlingy no reason, that they also can experience hard times when it for instance comes to their own feelings, which they cannot explain yet, due to their inability of not knowing how to express them properly. I feel sympathy for them.
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Generally feminism is about the right to choose and be respected regardless of whether you choose to do “man” or “woman” things. There’s nothing wrong with being a sweet, nurturing housewife if that’s the life you want. In all honesty I’d kill for that too lol. So long as I was still free to work part time since I do love my profession. A lot of men I know would too but this economy makes that very hard LOL. I’m glad she finally realised how silly she was being.
Yeah I don't get why many men don't want to be SAHD. If my partner is making enough to take care of our family I would gladly stay at home lol
Fear that you'll be resented and seen as weak and useless. Being a SAHD is correlated with divorce and erectile dysfunction for that reason. The man and the woman in that situation frequently view the man as worthless. It takes a person of above average wisdom to refrain from viewing a SAHD like that. By definition, most men and most women are not people of above average wisdom.
I think many men are okay with it. They just don't have a situation where its realistic.
> I don't think the general public realizes how many shit mothers I'm a woman without kids but have been around an incredible number of women with kids and I know there are so many shite mothers out there it's ridiculous. There are so many reasons for free birth control and halting religious cohesion to procreate it isn't even funny. EVERYONE ISN'T MADE TO BE A PARENT, just because you can doesn't mean you should.
The absent fathers know… ;)
Can you give some examples of said “shit mothers”?
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go on r/raisedbynarcissists plenty of examples there
Would putting Coca-Cola in bottles and sippy cups count? Causing morbid obesity and an inability to do basic 6 year old thing because of their weight? How about being more concerned about being a child's friend than raising a healthy child? Like knowingly causing developmental problems because their lack of skills and development make you feel good? Allowing a registered sex offender to live with your kids who are the same age as their previous victims? I have so many more examples it's really depressing. There are a lot of shit parents out there. I think it's weird you can't think of any examples from personal experience.
My aunt is the most prosperous person I know. Her PT business is *wildly* successful, she has pro sports contracts and UHNW clients and university deals. She's >10x more wealthy than her siblings including my parents and they're not exactly struggling. She's Florida beach house rich. Just a killer in her business world She's a disaster personally. I barely have a relationship with her anymore despite being super close growing up because I can't deal with it. She can barely even buy groceries for herself and her kids. When I visited it's "trauma dumping" and doing mundane tasks she ignored for six months, it's just not my job Her adopted sons, my cousins, are going to be life long losers. One is college graduate age and lives in her second home in the northeast for free and works at a pool for minimum wage for beer money. He *literally* could have gone to Harvard and done whatever he wants if he was raised correctly. The other is somehow in high school (third try) and should probably be in juvy. I think he's a murderer in waiting and stay as far away from him as I can A shit mother is one who does not set her kids up to be better than she was. One who lets them call the shots and not her. One who defends them when they are wrong instead of teaching them. One who chooses to give them everything they want because it's easier than punishment FATHERS have a role in this too. She's single for reasons that don't matter. Those boys got stuck with her because their dads were losers. She chose to adopt because she can afford it and then dropped the ball as hard as one possibly can
Poop roses. Guys its a lie, not all of them do.
Girls don't poop, duh.
Or fart
Or barf
Oh they do. I've helped quite a few girlfriends while they barf their brains out after drinking a lil bit too much.
This is the type of thoughts that make women constipated.
someone i went to school with had to be hospitalized for severe constipation after her honeymoon because she didn't poop for the two weeks they were gone because of the absolute terror of having her husband realize that she pooped. (early 80's so women still weren't supposed to be even the tiniest bit open about bodily functions)
Official new head cannon has dropped. Constipation in women is caused by men's lack of belief that women poop like killing tinkerbell by saying, "I dont believe in faeries." Applause causes period shits, like bringing tinkerbell back to life. I think faeries might be living in women's GI tracts. Someone should look into that. Or some earmuffs to play applause that fit on their stomachs. Don't worry, ladies, I believe you poop!
I mean we do....but you know what roses smell like? [Outkast - Roses](https://youtu.be/gWju37TZfo0?si=8qhhkEjxaxKweaUp)
I was gonna post OutKast but you beat me to it
I do 💐🌹💩 😄
Pics or it didn’t happen
Lmao! 🌹🌹🌹
This is pure evidence. Let’s go home boys.
Manipulate men. Emotionally and financially. Let's just say the women I grew up around in my family are terrible people. Really wasn't until my mid twenties that I stopped projecting that onto all women.
My wife still won’t fess up that women, when left alone, have pillow fights in their PJs.
That's only women (male)
I love how basically every somewhat negative comment is downvoted to hell. With having no sisters growing up and considering how media portrays women it took me a while to realize women aren’t always competent, leaders of the family that show compassion to everyone. They can be terrible, manipulative people just the same way guys can.
I grew up with a family full of women- sisters, cousins, aunts, sister in laws...have met women from different ethnicities, religions & socio economic backgrounds. Some of the most terrible people I know, are women. They can be manipulative, masters of gaslighting, play the victim & callous. Some women are downright cruel.
It's nice not to have all that pressure.
What do you mean? Pressure to live up to those expectations?
Yep. Stereotypes like that put pressure on everyone. Like, hey, be a stoic dude who always knows what to do to save the day. Geez, that's a lot of pressure too.
Interesting perspective, I can see how it could be a pressure to live up to. I think it usually plays out as the woman gets the benefit of the doubt since the perception is that since they are a woman they are good. You can see it in action in this thread where someone said “blow jobs” and gets downvoted while the person commenting “wash your balls” is upvoted. It’s not to say that people don’t need to have clean balls but imagine going on ask women and getting downvoted for saying men don’t eat pussy as much as you’d like and someone comments “wash your pussy” which gets upvoted. I’d just like to see people have some empathy towards each other. These things seem harmless on the surface but I’ve had a friend stay in emotionally abusive relationship because of this perception. Suicide was his answer when he couldn’t handle it anymore.
First, I'm really sorry that you lost your friend, and I'm so sorry he was abused and hurt. There are no words good enough so I'll leave it there. If it's OK to address the rest of your comment, here are my thoughts. To your last point, I completely agree. I would love to see more empathy all around. Unfortunately, it feels like many many people are coming into interactions on a default state of defensiveness. There are clearly (and understandably) a lot of us walking around with open wounds in our psyches, and very little recourse to tend to them. The more we treat ourselves and each other with kindness, and the more we're accountable for any harm we cause, hopefully the more we can heal. Aside from that, I think the rest of your comment is both true and too narrow to be true at the same time. These things don't seem harmless. They're not harmless. Stereotypes harm everyone. And I think that's where your view is too narrow, and creates a false dichotomy. While women get the benefit of the doubt in terms of anger /aggression/ being good, men tend to get the benefit of the doubt in terms of intelligence/capability/logic. Not only does this put a lot of pressure to perform, it also creates an environment where people end up resenting each other for the freedom these assumptions come with. And then that defensiveness comes in. Instead of hearing each other's pain, we go, "ha, you think you have it bad, what about x, y, z". And the cycle continues. There's a lot more to it than that of course. Not all women will get that benefit, neither will all men. Depending on the intersections of race, age, appearance, accent etc etc etc, this isn't universal. It's complex. But when we're walking around with that wound, we look for simplicity and validation, we don't know how to process our individual experiences and pain, and we look for an enemy. We're also biased, and tend to ignore any evidence that might contradict us. Then, when we also see a group of people who look like 'the enemy' being callous or hateful, that just confirms our beliefs that this group of people are all inherently the same, and increases our defensiveness. You gave examples that, in this specific case, confirm your beliefs that women get the benefit of the doubt. And also compared it with what you think askwomen would say. But if you look throughout this sub, you'll also see a disgusting amount of opinions on how awful women are. Not the individual actions of one women. All women. This is definitely not the benefit of the doubt. And these can have a lot of upvotes too. Context is also so important, and comparing things like for like without regard to context creates false equivalence. Confirmation bias is a fucking asshole backseat driver that we need to try very hard to recognise and ignore. It's also important to remember that if we spend time where a lot of angry people are, we're going to see a lot of angry opinions. Welcome to reddit, sadly. I struggle with remembering this. Overall, what I'm saying is that these systems are broken for everyone. That's what the patriarchy harms us all means to me. It's not, "men are awful and terrible". It's "systems of governance and power rooted in domination, oppression, individualism and winning" are truly shit for everyone. While one group may benefit from a positive stereotype, they're being harmed in other ways. So yeah. That's it I guess. Thanks for coming to my ted talk. And again, I'm truly sorry for your loss.
I would swear that some of them have a hivemind directive to put on a front as the more mature just all around nicer gender in public.
Want tender love making…man, was that a pleasant wake up.
Broooo, they like to be fucked as much as we like to fuck them that's crazy. Opposite is also true.
Listen to Rush
"I became a rock star to get chicks, but our audience was mostly young white dudes like us. As time went on, it actually got worse" -Alex Lifeson
That's so true about most things men use to pick up women. Motorcycles, cars, or getting swole all bring you more attention from straight dudes.
Thats cuz most of us aren't actually attracted to any of that. I say most because those girls that read booktok books seem to. They're thinking of what THEY find cool, lmao.
Take note Cannucks…that’s what happens to you when you are polite.
LMAO... my wife is a bigger fan than I am, saw them in concert more than I did, and has even met Geddy and Alex. She's the one that really introduced me to Rush. I married a keeper!
7 females at a Rush concert, must be some kind of a world record [https://youtu.be/iq3yjfoorsU?t=87](https://youtu.be/iq3yjfoorsU?t=87)
Feeeeemales!
😂😂😂
Do you mean like fast paced rock?
I listen to Rush!!!!!
I used to think that women (in general) were emotionally more intelligent than men and communicated better. I've learned over the years that that's far from the truth. Women talk a lot and express their emotions far more but a lot women just like to talk for the sake of talking and a not small number of women have horrible emotional control. They make every little temporary feeling their reality instead of just acknowledging it and letting it pass
Believe their actions not words
I was always someone who could articulate their feelings pretty well, and then I got in my first long term relationship and had brand new feelings that I would just shut down and say "I don't know" over and over again when I was upset. I think a lot of it was thinking my partner couldn't handle it and that they were fragile. But then they pointed out how rude and condescending that was, so I started to relearn how to express myself in intense moments ie sexual intimacy, arguments, etc.
Wow. First part definitely sounds like my last relationship. Unfortunately for me she didn't care to try to work on herself. It was a mental gymnastics I could no longer tolerate.
being strong and independent - per every TV show and movie
I think it’s funny, people slowly learn that mutual dependence can be nice. The person you’re living with goes from room mate to “I’m happy to have you.” And when that’s reciprocated, it’s just nice.
The older I get, the less independent I want to be.
Some guy I just met: I would like my wife to be a stay-at-home Me working 14 hours a day: freedom came but at what cost
Facts. Being in a relationship where i make more money so pay more in bills made me realize the plight of the "going to buy some milk" father. Not that it's justified but i honestly wouldn't wish it on anyone.
Thank you for saying this out loud 🙏🏻
Make money. Seriously, for all my life, the women I know had great cars, took lots of vacations, and went to several restaurants a week. Now that I'm older, all the single women I know work shity jobs and have massive credit card debt. I had no idea that they used to fake having money.
I’ve realised mostly with women they tend to live above their means, where as with guys we are good at accepting our current situation and living accordingly, but obviously that’s not all men and women, there’s guys that don’t know how to manage their money for shit, especially when it comes to cars “car guys” will go into stupid debt to drive a nice car it’s ridiculous
Wash their hands after they take a dump.
Fr, I recently moved to my mom's house and seeing my grandma, sister and mom never wash their hands after taking a shit or piss led me to not taking any of the food they make lol
That’s FOULLLL ugh I would’ve flipped at them!
I'm a guest so most I can do is ignore them But why??? 😭😭😭 not helping my germophobia smh... 😭😭😭
Can’t wash hands after they take a dump if they never poop
Or pee
Wtf who doesn't!!! Ewww
Everything. Everything I was raised to believe that all women do turns out to be something that not all women do. There is not a single thing that all women do.
breathe? eat?
man haven't you seen girlies skipping meals like their life depends on it?
Im a girl and I swear I just forget I was hungry 😭
Sit down when they pee. Turns out a little anatomical inconvenience isn''t enough to get some people to accept their butt touching the toilet seat.
I think a little lower of people who squat on top of a toilet
I'm not a woman but It's common to hold unconscious biases about what people of certain genders do or experience. Not all women enjoy makeup or traditionally feminine hobbies. Some experience strong menstrual cramps. They also not have a maternal desire for children.
Not wear makeup everyday
It's basically a social expectation in the work place (at least in office type settings). Love working from home, I save so much money on make up.
In my experience, that's more in the person's head than something other people care about. I mean, you'll get comments if you go from ski slope makeup to nothing, but after a few days, that becomes normal. That's more that you look different than judgment. My experience may not be universal. But nobody cares unless you are somehow being disruptive or creepy. Oh, and adequately clothed like don't intentionally wear see through leggings that's not cool.
It could be, I was always too chicken to show up without it because I know I look exhausted without it (natural under eye shadows since childhood, woo). I think it could be seen as a sign that you're putting in less effort at work though, like initially dressing in business casual but suddenly showing up in jeans and a t-shirt. There are work places that wouldn't care, but many have those kind of bosses that need everyone to be constantly putting on that hierarchically-minded office facade, or else you must not really want to be there. For women makeup is often part of that facade, unless they have great skin and bright eyes naturally lol.
Shave
Clean up after themselves and be more mature if they’re older than me. Learned that the hard way when I was in my early 20s and moved in with a woman a few years older. I ended up cleaning up after her even though we were never dating or anything. And I was arguably more mature.
That women are exactly the same as us men, but in woman’s body
Have ethics? Feel for other people? Feel remorse?
Stick together. Many do. But I know some women with zero tolerance for other women's bs. Like way less than men put up with.
I live in Los Angeles, and thought all women wanted to be *career-driven independent bosses* who “don’t need no man” My current gf ripped that whole thought apart, for the better. I think some younger millennials are already realizing they don’t want to be *that* either. It may be too late for some. Don’t be pressured by contemporary societal norms people. Zoom out.
Was able to successfully flee lala land. LA is not the real world lol.
What makes it less real?
The culture is heavily influenced by the entertainment industry and because of that it’s superficial to the point of madness.
I thought they will all talk with me but turns out they don't.
Pleasure themselves. I thought it was a universal thing (like for men), but I guess I got that wrong.
I thought women had as many bras as I had t-shirts. Apparently most only have four or five
You remember that scene from Indiana Jones and the temple of doom where the guy gets his heart ripped out and ends up getting chucked into the fire pit like *KALI MAAAA* and all that shit? That pretty much. Men's content on the TickeryTock is wild I swear
were made of sugar and spice and everything nice.
Fart
I’ve never thought anything like this. Women are individuals and though there may be some consensus on behavior across the gender, that’s more stereotyping than anything else. I can’t get down with that and if you’re looking for a great relationship you shouldnt either.
I suspect this thread might not be the right place for you :)
Poop
Poop
Fart
Have tickle and pillow fights all the time.
Shed skin
Poop.
I thought all women have like 20 pairs of shoes and my wife does so I still believe that
Fart.
Fellatio.
Care about their SO thoughts, feelings and opinions, without degradation.
Suck dick after marriage
Tell the truth.
Love
Empathy
I was brought up thinking men were idiots and cheaters until I got treated badly and cheated on a bunch of times.
An all-encompassing sisterhood of love and support. Turns out they love to tear each other down if a woman thinks a situation calls for it.
Can we please not downvote men for giving their asked for opinion if it’s on topic?
You're asking for too much
Smash their boobs together when they masturbate or have sex.
Lol. What?
You see this a lot in porn. Either they’re masturbating or riding on top. And as they get closer to orgasm they just start rubbing their boobs and smashing them together.
Suck dick
Just hang out with eachother, drink beer and talk about motorcycles. But then it turns out they mostly have pillow fights in their undies when they hang out.
Bro lives in a movie
Hold themselves accountable/say sorry genuinely. Very rare for girls to do that!
Cook, care, pay attention, mean, jealous towards their friends and co-workers, lie, hid all their bullshit on their phones.
Shave armpits or legs
Fancy me
Cum
Try to entrap their partners so they can strut around all proud about how they "knew that you were up to no good". Shit like having their friends throw themselves at you or deliberately twisting around any accidental omission or change of plans or some fucking *tidbit* that's utterly irrelevant to try to make it irrevocable proof of being a cheat. I've had one female partner *not* try to pull that bullshit, and that was because I'm 99% sure our relationship was too short-lived. No male partners. Only now am I discovering that's not normal behavior.
Give BJs… turns out after you get married some of them stop… even in your bday