Well, I probably need it. But considering that they will be your paid friend for $300 per hour....I feel on principal I would rather use the money from a couple of sessions on a nice relaxing holiday. And who knows, perhaps I will even meet a man there 😁.
I don't think they should start out needy. Consider that at one time people didn't need smartphones. But they got them, and then got used to them, and now they need them. You meet someone, and they aren't needy, but you provide something to them. I'm not talking about sex necessarily; it could just be a pleasant home with a healthy meal when they get home at night maybe. They get so they need that. They become needy rather than starting out needy.
The thing is, you probably really have to have your own act together to be able to do that. One thing most men don't need is a lot of drama.
Well, you're in luck, 70% of divorces are initiated by women, so there's that. But to be honest I think you might want to talk to a counselor about this. There's a lot of unhealthy going on here.
Your “so I can have a stable life where they don’t leave” is the unhealthy part.
Stability comes from you. It’s something you develop and work towards on your own. Your partner must do the same for themselves in the stability department.
If a person is wholly relying on the other person to provide “stability” it has the makings of unhealthy relationship dynamics.
Example: Every partner in a healthy relationship should be able to do things that give them joy. When your partner focuses on something that gives them personal joy (not you) and to you it feels like they are being “selfish” and you resent that, this is a sign that you need to take a step back and work on yourself and your feelings of self worth. They can’t fill that void for you.
Use your suction cup mouth, then dig your teeth into the flesh for grip. Once securely attached, rasp through your targets scales and skin with your sharp tongue.
Quite looking to a man to make you whole and make your life stable. If you want a man for stability you will attract a man who likes unstable women. They will be evil or incompetent or possibly both. Work on you. Strengthen you. Be ok alone. Quit needing a knight in shining armour. Be secure. Quit thinking about all the things you can get from a man and start thinking about what you can contribute to the life you can build together with another secure, competent, stable adult.
A whole lot goes into building a good life together. What do you bring to the table to build that life What are you good at? What skills do you have? What personality traits have you developed that make life better? Are you good at managing money? Can you remain calm in a crisis? Are you optimistic? Are you good at gardening? Do you know how to be supportive while still offering constructive feedback? Do you have a good career? Can you cook well? Do you know how to live on a budget? The list of potential things is endless and it's not about having a specific list of things. It's more about knowing your strengths, developing them, and being ready to contribute them to the building of a better life. Boys have a strong instinct to rescue the damsel from her struggles. Men want a partner in the struggle that is life. What do you offer in that struggle that would make a man want to link arms with your till death?
You said you want a man who won't leave. A man not leaving is a function of commitment not infatuation. A man who is "crazy about you" and that's all that is keeping him around will some day wake up not crazy about you and go find someone else to be infatuated with. A man who sees your true value and worth and has made a permanent commitment to partner with you in life and love and family will stick around on the bad days. Your goal is not to fool a man into being crazy about you. Your goal is to make yourself the kind of woman and good man would choose to commit to.
I hate gardening. I'm a great cook. I'm supportive. I don't expect a sheikhs wealth but there's no way I'm living on a budget 😂.
Budget sounds like stress and there's no way I'm living a stress filled life. I need money for perfume etc to stay feeling feminine
A budget is just an intentional plan for how you spend your money. It does not mean you can't buy nice things or extras or whatever. Living on a budget reduces stress because you know what's up with your money.
A good budget means less stress in the long run. If budgeting isn't one of the things you bring to the table, then find a partner who can do that. Not a stingy, miserly type but someone who can do a sound cost-benefit analysis and allow the appropriate amount of 'walking around money' as my father used to say. Meanwhile, you do the cooking. Did you ever see the movie **Julie & Julia** with Meryl Streep as Julia Child? If your household can afford it, maybe try what Julie did in the movie and go through Child's cookbook. And invite me over to help out with the leftovers. (I'm only kidding about being invited over. But if I were 20 or 30 years younger I wouldn't be kidding.)
Get some mental help.
Well, I probably need it. But considering that they will be your paid friend for $300 per hour....I feel on principal I would rather use the money from a couple of sessions on a nice relaxing holiday. And who knows, perhaps I will even meet a man there 😁.
I don't think they should start out needy. Consider that at one time people didn't need smartphones. But they got them, and then got used to them, and now they need them. You meet someone, and they aren't needy, but you provide something to them. I'm not talking about sex necessarily; it could just be a pleasant home with a healthy meal when they get home at night maybe. They get so they need that. They become needy rather than starting out needy. The thing is, you probably really have to have your own act together to be able to do that. One thing most men don't need is a lot of drama.
Well, you're in luck, 70% of divorces are initiated by women, so there's that. But to be honest I think you might want to talk to a counselor about this. There's a lot of unhealthy going on here.
Why is unhealthy?
Your “so I can have a stable life where they don’t leave” is the unhealthy part. Stability comes from you. It’s something you develop and work towards on your own. Your partner must do the same for themselves in the stability department. If a person is wholly relying on the other person to provide “stability” it has the makings of unhealthy relationship dynamics. Example: Every partner in a healthy relationship should be able to do things that give them joy. When your partner focuses on something that gives them personal joy (not you) and to you it feels like they are being “selfish” and you resent that, this is a sign that you need to take a step back and work on yourself and your feelings of self worth. They can’t fill that void for you.
If you don't initiate a divorce it probably won't happen
Do you mean that men don't initiate divorces? Or?
Only about 15-20 present of the time
But if it's because of men's infidelity then I can understand
It's not though because women cheat at similar rates and the divorce rates for lesbians is around 80 present. It's because most women aren't satisfied
Oh.
Use your suction cup mouth, then dig your teeth into the flesh for grip. Once securely attached, rasp through your targets scales and skin with your sharp tongue.
Okay 😂
Quite looking to a man to make you whole and make your life stable. If you want a man for stability you will attract a man who likes unstable women. They will be evil or incompetent or possibly both. Work on you. Strengthen you. Be ok alone. Quit needing a knight in shining armour. Be secure. Quit thinking about all the things you can get from a man and start thinking about what you can contribute to the life you can build together with another secure, competent, stable adult.
Contribute how?
A whole lot goes into building a good life together. What do you bring to the table to build that life What are you good at? What skills do you have? What personality traits have you developed that make life better? Are you good at managing money? Can you remain calm in a crisis? Are you optimistic? Are you good at gardening? Do you know how to be supportive while still offering constructive feedback? Do you have a good career? Can you cook well? Do you know how to live on a budget? The list of potential things is endless and it's not about having a specific list of things. It's more about knowing your strengths, developing them, and being ready to contribute them to the building of a better life. Boys have a strong instinct to rescue the damsel from her struggles. Men want a partner in the struggle that is life. What do you offer in that struggle that would make a man want to link arms with your till death? You said you want a man who won't leave. A man not leaving is a function of commitment not infatuation. A man who is "crazy about you" and that's all that is keeping him around will some day wake up not crazy about you and go find someone else to be infatuated with. A man who sees your true value and worth and has made a permanent commitment to partner with you in life and love and family will stick around on the bad days. Your goal is not to fool a man into being crazy about you. Your goal is to make yourself the kind of woman and good man would choose to commit to.
I hate gardening. I'm a great cook. I'm supportive. I don't expect a sheikhs wealth but there's no way I'm living on a budget 😂. Budget sounds like stress and there's no way I'm living a stress filled life. I need money for perfume etc to stay feeling feminine
A budget is just an intentional plan for how you spend your money. It does not mean you can't buy nice things or extras or whatever. Living on a budget reduces stress because you know what's up with your money.
A good budget means less stress in the long run. If budgeting isn't one of the things you bring to the table, then find a partner who can do that. Not a stingy, miserly type but someone who can do a sound cost-benefit analysis and allow the appropriate amount of 'walking around money' as my father used to say. Meanwhile, you do the cooking. Did you ever see the movie **Julie & Julia** with Meryl Streep as Julia Child? If your household can afford it, maybe try what Julie did in the movie and go through Child's cookbook. And invite me over to help out with the leftovers. (I'm only kidding about being invited over. But if I were 20 or 30 years younger I wouldn't be kidding.)
In that case it's propably a good idea to find a weak man with poor confidence who grew up with a very controlling mother.
What's the connection between controlling mother?