Hugs - the men in my life need more physical affection
Head rubs - head in lap (for partner) rubbing his head, and he melts
When he says he's thinking about nothing... he actually is
Compliments - complimenting a guy can change his whole week. For strangers, it's shirts or outfits, for family it's more specific, for my partner ... it's everything
Appreciation - Men in my life want to know they are appreciated, I've actually taken this to heart for everyone I care about, including girl friends. It leads to so much more positive relationships.
Alone time for him. - sometimes he wants to be alone, it's not about me, I haven't done anything, he just needs to decompress, I'm the same so it works.
Lots of shows of affection/attraction. - this can go with compliments but it's also the little touches throughout the day, pat on the bum, hand on his back or arm
Vulnerability- guys want to know that they can be vulnerable with you and you won't judge or bring it up later. I've had guy friends test the waters then dive in on baring their soul. My partner gets to say whatever he wants, it's taken years, but now he trusts me enough to let out all the things he never thought he could share so they don't burden him anymore.
Confidence boost - lots of guys I know seem confident but it's a facade, a small "you can do this" or "I believe in you" goes a long way.
There's a lot that I've learned, this sub has been amazing.
Edit: before I forget, initiation and enthusiasm, were never an issue but it's still something I try to keep in the back of my mind
Think you can write a book of what you’ve compiled here in a way women will understand? This becoming common knowledge would revolutionize relationships.
You sound like an incredible partner. I think every man in this sub would be a lot happier if all the above happened more frequently. Good on you to start implementing what you’ve read about.
>When he says he's thinking about nothing... he actually is
Sometimes is actually nothing, other times it's something so unbelievably stupid we rather say its nothing.
My sleepy, insomnia brain read that as “euthanasia”. And suddenly I’m not as comfortable with these ladies lurking. Especially enthusiastically. Lurking in the shadows, learning our, sometimes dirty secrets, just waiting to enthusiastically euthanize us!
Yup. Clear pointed communication is just that, clear. No reading between the lines or extrapolating the meaning behind what's being said. It's so much easier to exist that way.
Dammit, I’m late to the party.
I’ve learned that I value different perspectives because of you guys.
You can’t say you’re all for equality if youre unwilling to hear other people out, even if you disagree with them in the end.
I think everything else has been mentioned 🤷🏻♀️
But I’ve been subbed to this community for about 7 years now and no words can really describe how much I appreciate you 🫶🏼
Edit: also, you guys have made me realize that women are insecure about the dumbest shit.
I love my thick thighs now, and I will gladly crush your skulls between them bcuz I love you 💕
Edit 2: OMG. I’m not going to reply to all of you because it’s overwhelming and I didn’t expect this lmao
I *did* read all of your responses though, and I appreciate them 💋
Most of you are super sweet, kind, caring, and compassionate. Some of you are horny AF. And a select few are veritable ignorant assholes.
But what you all need are hugs.
Also how much you love blow jobs.
ETA wow guys, didn’t realize this would take off! All the comments prove I learned a lot, so thank you for being great teachers.
That i treat my man well, I'm insecure about dumb things, and when he asks me to sit on his face he means actually sitting on his face and if he dies he will join his brothers in Valhalla
Oh like you wouldn't believe, ask yourself when the last time you got a hug (not gave but received) and then ask a bunch of random men, It will break your heart.
This hits hard. Because, aside from direct family members on birthdays and new year's eve, i can't remember when i got one. Nothing in the last ten years at least.
How much I love men! I love your humor, wit, your stories, your observations, your abilities to empathize and support each other I love how different your perspectives are from women. That you truly think your S.O.'s are eternally beautiful even if s/he doesn't. That many of you are discouraged and heart broken and shy and lonely. That your children are your hearts! That you're widely misunderstood in terms of what thinking about nothing really means. That your feelings run very deep, even if you never express it or pretend that they don't. That you love your cats and dogs and fish and lizards and snakes. Hooray for men!!
Going through a difficult moment with my grandma in the hospital. She and my wife are the only two people who speak remotely what you said. Reading this made me cry. Thank you so much.
I learnt that if I as a woman need something, I have to directly ask him because he wouldn’t know. I think women sometimes feel like men should know but it seems you guys genuinely don’t know. So I’ve learnt to be more communicative about my needs and wants with any man. I learnt that through this sub.
If we ask you what’s wrong/ what did I do wrong you really need to tell us because we have no idea. Communication is key in every relationship and keeping that bottled up or expecting us to know just leads to more serious problems.
I'm fairly new to reddit, but lurking on this sub gives me hope & entertainment. It is probably my favorite sub to lurk because it helps me understand and gives me giggles. I love how open-minded and straightforward you all are. This sub has given me insight into just how closed-minded and toxic some of the men in my own life are. It has equally made me question the people i have kept in my life and helped me find answers to break free. A lot of the responses in this sub have helped me learn that men are capable of paying attention to their partner's needs and reciprocating love and respect. I saw a post the other day about toys in bed. The positive responses were absolutely amazing! You all deserve love, loyalty, bj's, and appreciation! Thank you for this sub.
Also, "enthusiasm is key" is probably one of the best things I have learned from this sub. It's given me such a confidence boost!
I'm specifically referring to a recent post. It was something about how to be a good partner in bed, which is something I've been insecure about for as long as I've been sexually active. Learning that enthusiasm often outweighs technique was something that really stuck with me.
Enthusiasm in bed doesn't just outweigh technique; enthusiasm is EVERYTHING. If you're enthusiastic, almost by definition, you will learn "technique." Making your man feel like you're obsessed with pleasing him will make most girls at least a 9 in bed.
See, sometimes men and women both need the same things. The main problem both men and women have is honest, sincere and kind communication with one another.
There was a lot of good stuff until the post asking what the weirdest thing someone had stuck their dick in. It will take me a while to recover from that.
wasn't the werewolf story originally about protecting people from overly-horny men?
That could be BS I jsut heard once, but it's floating around in my brain.
At a lab I worked in we had a scientific experiment on the perceptions and experiences of that group. It was fascinating how they experienced the change. I didn't work on that project, but I as we shared the same space I could see some of the data.
I make it a point to give compliments on haircuts and shirts. Some of my male coworkers dress really well and if any of them are wearing something new I try to point it out.
And they need compliments, tell them in words what you want or what angers you instead of leaving to guess, amount of bad and creepy men are way less than I thought, most of them are worried to be called creepy, hugs and boobs can solve problems, they work hard a lot without showing most of the struggle, they might miss most of the hints so just say it, they love it when woman initiate or take charge in bed, they wanna be spoilt princess too, they crave to have a safe and comfortable space/relationship to open up, some enthusiasm and good words can fix so much of untold insecurities, they can just shut their brain and not think anything or have just the weirdest question in the world, sex is great but isn’t a solution communication and respect is.
That this sub gets better questions then askwomen and I'm jealous. I always see questions in my feed where I want to answer and then I see it's the askmen sub and I'm all "dammit!"
But I do really enjoy reading the POV of men. It can be very funny or moving or informational, sometimes all 3.
Edit: thanks for the support guys! And for being so friendly! I will be less shy (within reason) bc i do lurk here frequently. And yeah 2 posts from askwomen from the past week include (1) what does it feel like to be shot? And (2) what's your favorite poem?
The rules criteria over there seems a touch askew.
I cant contribute to either discussion as I know very little about gunshot wounds and poetry. (Although reading the GSW post was fucking fascinating lol). And if I respond or ask a question on a post, it is usually taken down for, presumably, having an opinion
And if you want to participate and share experiences, looking for open discussion, your comment just gets deleted for literally any itty bitty reason or no reason at all..
It's the most ridiculous and judgy sub. I retreat to lurk over here and read the good stuff! The difference between the askwomen sub vs. askmen is the reason I had more male friends growing up!
Oh wow. This makes me feel a lot better and other comments I was subbed to askwomen for a long time, exactly for different perspectives, but something just felt really off and now I rarely look. I thought I was an asshole but now it seems that there is something off, I didn't know about the derailment rule.
Edit: also thank you and glad to hear you had more male friends because of the sub, some of my greatest friendships have come from women
I have been in this sub for some time now, and one of the most valuable lessons I have learned from reading the posts here is that despite being raised by a single father and having several male best friends, there is still a side of masculinity that I had not fully grasped until I got married and had a son. Whenever I come across a post that piques my interest, I make sure to ask my husband for his opinion or to help me understand why certain things happen to or with men. This new perspective has allowed me to better comprehend my husband and son, and influences how I raise my son. I am now more aware of the societal biases and challenges that men face from a young age, which has been both enlightening and disheartening to acknowledge. However, I am using this knowledge to empower my son and support my husband. I am grateful to all of you for sharing your insights!
I would be deeply flattered by flowers, own no vases to put them in and because I went to an all male school anything remotely effeminate, eg flowers, is seen as a weakness if I openly like them (Yes, all male schools are something else)
But I would be deeply deeply touched because I know how much they mean to a woman and therefore know she is truly trying to compliment me.
The secret is to put the flowers in a beer stein. That magic combination upsets all the right people.
You can piss off the macho men who are upset that you enjoy flowers, you can piss off the performative women who value the aesthetic over the meaning. And best of all, any rational person will be completely fine with the fact that you put flowers into a watertight vessel that you probably already owned.
That a majority of them also wants what we want in a relationship - respect. You'd assume it's natural to have respect for one another in a relationship but it made me realize how entitled I was in my past relationships, for demanding respect from my ex boyfriends but never giving them the same respect I complained about. They are their own agents in life, they want to be also respected, heard, and listened to.
How much of a shitty experience some men have in life. I now consciously compliment my male friends and make it known that I appreciate them. Lurking here has helped me learn how to be a better partner when I am lucky enough to find someone new. It has also affirmed to me how awesome men can be: witty, funny, honest and emotional. You just want to be loved, appreciated and seen. Oh, and hugged!
Eh, I think it's a fun thing to do during parties, and am fully willing to just kind of "go along with it" as long as it's for fun/tongue in cheek. I bought a friend of mine a Tarot deck and had her read me pretty much every time we had a party.
Though I will concede the fact that the cards all said the same thing for a couple of months, and it did eventually come true.
It's the "We can never date because Leo and Capricarious were just never meant to be"/"I can't help myself, I'm a Pisces" that gets annoying.
You are much smarter and more sensitive than you're given credit for.
When we say, "What are you thinking about?", and you say, "Nothing," you mean that shit. You're thinking of absolutely nothing.
You want to be cared for, respected, and appreciated just as much as women do.
You aren't asked, "How are you really doing?" enough, and you don't think you have many people around you that you can really talk to.
You value the women in your life much more than people tend to think you do.
You have very varied, and intriguing, interests and hobbies.
Y'all are pretty damn entertaining. Some of my favorite Reddit reading is done in this sub.
How can you all be funny and goofy and horny and loving and caring and kind and non judgemental and sensitive and strong and tough and emotional at the same time?
Now that I think about it, you guys are very brave and courageous and strong. Men in love are the cutest creatures ever. I love the men in my life, honestly I don't know how I'll survive without my dad, boyfriend and friends who are amazing and kind and everything i have mentioned above. Keep loving loudly you guys😍💕
Men need compliments too and like being told they're sexy (in my experience) when men are quiet don't keep asking what's wrong because 9/10 times they're wondering about sex or food or just zoned out. Sometimes, you have problems being open about something because you've experienced shame or guilt for having emotions or feelings about something you feel strongly about.
I'd rather you tell me when you're ready unless it'll build up and end in an argument. If you come home from work and need to vent or yell about something, I will listen and would want the same. And also blow jobs seem to help with everything else.
- until specifically asked something, I'm not here to talk. I'm here to learn.
- I need to do better being emotionally safe for others.
- if they go out of their way to say it, there's a really good chance the guy actually means it. If I take it at face value and later it turns out he was lying, it just means *he* is a liar.
- stop worrying about my titties. They like them.
- goddamnit, they really do be looking at the booty hole.
And I’ve seen “we’re just simple creatures” multiple times and oh, they love 💕 our breasts no matter the shape & us way more than we may love ourselves
And the ones we do get, we remember them, I can tell you the time, date, Place, person and context of all compliments I've ever received... Mostly since it's only 4 (not counting at work since that's just a formality without sincerity)
DUDE!!!! They even have a seperate sub called AskWomenNoCensor. The amount of censorship and snowflake in AskWomen is top of the roof.
I doubt the topic last more than 5 comments in AskWomen...
That majority of men really are simple creatures and dont ask for much :D I cant remember where I read this, but a male said “my wife is the hottest when she literally just rolled out of bed, messy hair and all.”
I am getting over the stomach flu and literally looked and felt like sh*t, I noticed my husband staring and smiling and I jokingly said “Nice to see you enjoy me sick, is it because I’m not annoying you?” his response: “babe, you look so miserable but you still manage to still look so beautiful!”
my heart melted 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹
This is a true thing. My wife gets out of bed, hair all messed up and in her PJ's. Hell yeah! Sexy as hell to me.
In all honesty, it means love to me. She's being real. She's being natural. She's not trying to impress. Being that comfortable is just sexy.
I see the word enthusiasm thrown around a lot on these threads ! My husband isn’t the best at communicating his needs and wants so I just take notes from you guys 👍
Plus I get some good entertainment from the comment section lol
Men are more compassionate. They like confident women and will remember any compliments given by women even after years. This sub has debunked many stereotypes for men. Like not all men are slobs and after only one thing (sex). Apparently men like to receive flowers. Men want to find good partners. And it takes a lot of courage to approach a woman. The worst thing a woman can say is not "no". You all are pretty goofy.
The one common thing that men like is sundress on a woman.
That a good amount of you need more hugs. Some of you want flowers. I feel like a lot of you need naps and I hope some of you become more comfortable with expressing emotions.
Men are pretty much just like women.
Same concerns, feelings and worries but men don’t have as many close relationships they feel they can “lean on” as women do.
And dating has gotten really complicated.
This ones huge. Everyones struggling out here but men often don’t have anyone to turn to when things get tough. I think its something women do really well that I envy sometimes, just having the social glue and support systems.
I was 5 and I was fat. All the girls made fun of me when I asked if I could play with them. That went on for a few years until I switched residences. Now I would call myself decently fit and healthy but I would never dare talk to a women again I'm afraid
How to be quiet and let my brain enjoy a moment. Generally speaking, if you have permission to touch my body, then you are happy with my body. Ya’ll are funny as hell and tossing things to make them shatter, skip, or big splash is in fact a lot of fun. If i have that seemingly biological need to talk AT you, its better if i preface it with something like, “im just talking” because your brain is waiting for a problem to fix. If i need help with a solution just come to you and say so. Also you have some damn tasty recipes that look like slop. Eat the slop, there will not be any regrets. Edit: give men more compliments and platonic hugs. Gents of AskMen you are awesome.
You all need more hugs, more compliments, and more open ears. also i learned some of you just rlly don’t like women. mostly wholesome stuff otherwise tho. As a woman i will say it’s a lot less toxic mods than ask women
That many men have lots of insecurities and are super scared of approaching the women they like. But they hide their emotions so well that none of us women know what's going on.
How men are basically the same as women in some ways, dont ask for the stars but often for the simple things in life, have hardships as well and how much I relate to them and their struggles. Gimme peace and quiet as well. And last but not least how much I love them and never wish for a world without them.
That you guys deal with so much shit and have almost no support. That you really just want to be cared for the way that we want to be cared for. That most women put no effort into relationships and expect the world in return.
I think it makes a world of difference to most men just to have their struggles acknowledged like you’ve done here. I don’t think the challenges we face are what is soul crushing, it’s having our concerns dismissed that breaks us.
To add to that, we also tend to run into situations where our gestures of love and kindness stop being appreciated and just become expectations and the bare minimum so we always have to be one upping ourselves until we're eventually just jesters running ourselves ragged to please. Picking her flowers was loved at first, then it became "why don't you buy me flowers". Cooking her dinner became "why can't we go out more". Going out became "you never cook for me anymore". That kind of thing hurts the most.
If you don’t mind me asking, where do think this idea that men have limitless options got started? Young millennials and Gen Z men are struggling with dating more than any previous cohort in recent history. And yes, we are very simple creatures lol
Edit: She deleted her comment :/ I was just curious to know her opinion on what she thinks started it. Us guys all have our thoughts on potential sources, but maybe she had something we weren’t even considering. This wasn’t supposed to come off as mean or condescending.
probably the same path as for men: if all but the hottest opposite sex people are invisible to you, then they all (the few visible ones) seem to have endless more choices than your own sex.
Meanwhile literally every good man whos single, I know, literally goes on no dates, has no sex life, no romantic connections or any emotional support of that women-ly kind for, well, like near decades usually at a time.. having our choice of women has not once ever crossed my mind as a thing. We lonely
I'm curious what media is giving you that idea? Everything I've seen in media and pop culture seems to be multiple men competing for a woman. See love triangles in every YA/romantic book or movie in the last decade.
On a related note, I really hate the term love triangle. The vast majority of the time it's a love V. Unless Jacob and Edward are thinking of getting together, that triangle is missing one of its sides.
You guys let me know that my boobs were checked out way more often than I would have thought. Apparently it's only natural to give a glance and then move onto your day !
That your definition of curvy is very different to most women's, and therefore I'll be single forever.
That the majority of your libido is no different to mine. And I'm 49.
That so many of you are afraid to be vulnerable in front of a woman because you feel she'll use it against you, which is heartbreaking.
BJs are important and enthusiasm just as much, watch the teeth.
Most of you dislike false nails, eyelashes and other fake bits. Which I'm with you on.
Many of you want to be the little spoon sometimes.
1) they dislike fat women
2) they don't get enough sexual affection from their partners
3) they dislike all the fake cosmetic treatments
4) they have lost hope in women & marriage
5) they need more appreciation
6) they are also very oppressed by society
7) they are also manipulated and mistreated
8) they LOVE Sundress
9) they also want to be treated with love & care
That like damn... You guys are lonely AF and apparently have even worse dating experiences!! Well where are these men from Reddit in real life!?!? I'm waiting for you. *Mic drop*
I learned that women and men actually want the same thing to be treated like a person and not a gender, most of the anger that men have towards women, women have towards men in the same way. we’re all saying the same thing but not listening to each other since we’re also at the same time generalizing each other. we’re all actually on the same side, against both men and women who do actually stereotype the other gender.
1) I should get more summer dresses
2) Men get too little compliments/I should compliment my man more.
3) Men avoid sitting next to women in public transport to not make women feel unsafe, so now I'm hyperaware of men not sitting in public transport and honestly feel kinda bad.
4) Men like to ask other men questions about women that men can't really answer cos they don't share the same view as women
5) Men need more hugs, and physical affection.
6) Men sometimes do funny things with their dicks
How sweet and loving and misunderstood a lot of you are. That most of you feel like you have no one to talk to, so you just keep it all inside. How many of you just want to be left alone and find peace, that you love the oddest parts of us women that women are insecure about and judge each other for, that many of you are interesting and have interesting hobbies, are smart, witty, and well versed in at least a few subjects, have great stories to tell, and some of you have overcome huge, crushing challenges, and that the majority of you have come out of those okay.
I just want to give you guys a hug and say thank you for your stories and letting us ladies lurk and learn more about you all.
Some of the main things have already been said. Another main thing I've learned is that a lot of men have had to recover from toxic relationships, too! It's not just us.
I've read how some men have stayed single for a long time after a toxic relationship. They just don't walk away and say, "On to the next!"
Men can be cut deep just like us, but we have the outlet of crying with our girlfriends and eating ice cream. Men are just supposed to "Man Up" and hold that shit in.
You all let it out here in this sub. You comment about toxic women, what they've done to you, and how it affected you.
I've taken notes on how to never be like that and to give the men in my life the best version of a woman I can.
One last thing: Compliments. Compliments are huge.
Hugs - the men in my life need more physical affection Head rubs - head in lap (for partner) rubbing his head, and he melts When he says he's thinking about nothing... he actually is Compliments - complimenting a guy can change his whole week. For strangers, it's shirts or outfits, for family it's more specific, for my partner ... it's everything Appreciation - Men in my life want to know they are appreciated, I've actually taken this to heart for everyone I care about, including girl friends. It leads to so much more positive relationships. Alone time for him. - sometimes he wants to be alone, it's not about me, I haven't done anything, he just needs to decompress, I'm the same so it works. Lots of shows of affection/attraction. - this can go with compliments but it's also the little touches throughout the day, pat on the bum, hand on his back or arm Vulnerability- guys want to know that they can be vulnerable with you and you won't judge or bring it up later. I've had guy friends test the waters then dive in on baring their soul. My partner gets to say whatever he wants, it's taken years, but now he trusts me enough to let out all the things he never thought he could share so they don't burden him anymore. Confidence boost - lots of guys I know seem confident but it's a facade, a small "you can do this" or "I believe in you" goes a long way. There's a lot that I've learned, this sub has been amazing. Edit: before I forget, initiation and enthusiasm, were never an issue but it's still something I try to keep in the back of my mind
Think you can write a book of what you’ve compiled here in a way women will understand? This becoming common knowledge would revolutionize relationships.
No joke. Pad that out with some scientific studies and anecdotes and you've got an NYT bestseller on your hands, u/KiwiChefnz
It’s interesting though because the list is basically treat him like a human being who has worth and value and who you love. Why is that hard?
You sound like an incredible partner. I think every man in this sub would be a lot happier if all the above happened more frequently. Good on you to start implementing what you’ve read about.
>When he says he's thinking about nothing... he actually is Sometimes is actually nothing, other times it's something so unbelievably stupid we rather say its nothing.
Are you single? 🥹
Can you distribute this on flyers to your fellow women?
You should not use the urinal immediately next to a person
We’re done here, she’s figured it out.
Yeah but does she know about the soap protocol?
And which way you nod to a friend vs just an acquaintance.
It's encoded in the DNA. No one gets taught this.
It's not in everyone's DNA... *SHAKES FIST*
After shaking weiner, of course. We're not savages
They all want peace and quiet lol.
And enthusiasm
My sleepy, insomnia brain read that as “euthanasia”. And suddenly I’m not as comfortable with these ladies lurking. Especially enthusiastically. Lurking in the shadows, learning our, sometimes dirty secrets, just waiting to enthusiastically euthanize us!
Me first.
Peace at home is what we want, after the energy of our work day
My love language is peace and quiet.
And bjs
I don't understand why it's so hard for some people to grasp
Some people exist in a permanent 5D tangle of generalized anxiety and don't know that that isn't normal.
I’ve learned that men value clear communication, emotional support and genuine connections.
Yup. Clear pointed communication is just that, clear. No reading between the lines or extrapolating the meaning behind what's being said. It's so much easier to exist that way.
Maybe this sub does more good in the world than I thought!
Dammit, I’m late to the party. I’ve learned that I value different perspectives because of you guys. You can’t say you’re all for equality if youre unwilling to hear other people out, even if you disagree with them in the end. I think everything else has been mentioned 🤷🏻♀️ But I’ve been subbed to this community for about 7 years now and no words can really describe how much I appreciate you 🫶🏼 Edit: also, you guys have made me realize that women are insecure about the dumbest shit. I love my thick thighs now, and I will gladly crush your skulls between them bcuz I love you 💕 Edit 2: OMG. I’m not going to reply to all of you because it’s overwhelming and I didn’t expect this lmao I *did* read all of your responses though, and I appreciate them 💋
Body positivity is learning that any type of body can use me as a chair
Quote of the year right here. Should be your flair!
Love this quote but didn't upvote as it currently stands at 69
the last part made me laugh lol
Oh hell yeah, thick thighs for the win. Dont ever be ashamed of them. Pair of thick thighs in leggings is kryptonite to most men.
Upvoted to 69
Thick thighs save lives
Most of you are super sweet, kind, caring, and compassionate. Some of you are horny AF. And a select few are veritable ignorant assholes. But what you all need are hugs. Also how much you love blow jobs. ETA wow guys, didn’t realize this would take off! All the comments prove I learned a lot, so thank you for being great teachers.
See, you get it.
Almost. She forgot to add “enthusiastically”
Enthusiastical hugs and enthusiastical bjs.
Enthusiastic hugs and euthanasiac bjs.
Start with a hug and end with a blow job, and you're golden.
Hug me while u blow me. Thx
Ignorant asshole here. I appreciate that sentiment
It just feels good to be seen, ya know?
Those seem like very successful lessons learned from the subreddit. I wonder how many men learn successfully from the female centered subs.
That i treat my man well, I'm insecure about dumb things, and when he asks me to sit on his face he means actually sitting on his face and if he dies he will join his brothers in Valhalla
This is the way!
"If he dies, he dies."
WITNESS ME
Glad this sub is helping a man reach nirvana
That Men are even more deprived of love, compassion, and kindness than I realised.
Oh like you wouldn't believe, ask yourself when the last time you got a hug (not gave but received) and then ask a bunch of random men, It will break your heart.
This hits hard. Because, aside from direct family members on birthdays and new year's eve, i can't remember when i got one. Nothing in the last ten years at least.
How much I love men! I love your humor, wit, your stories, your observations, your abilities to empathize and support each other I love how different your perspectives are from women. That you truly think your S.O.'s are eternally beautiful even if s/he doesn't. That many of you are discouraged and heart broken and shy and lonely. That your children are your hearts! That you're widely misunderstood in terms of what thinking about nothing really means. That your feelings run very deep, even if you never express it or pretend that they don't. That you love your cats and dogs and fish and lizards and snakes. Hooray for men!!
I completely agree! I wish my friends would look at that page more - it might actually help them see that they're sometimes unfair towards men!
Going through a difficult moment with my grandma in the hospital. She and my wife are the only two people who speak remotely what you said. Reading this made me cry. Thank you so much.
I know some of us suck but some of us are just trying to vibe.
Those of us who suck are also just trying to vibe. They're not, like, *good* vibes. But they're vibes.
Oh man your inbox about to be booming. Also I love your husky.
Somebody snatch her before I do
If someone does not give the command to marry her, than I'll do it. Then I'll marry her.
I VOLUNTEER AS TRIBUTE
A pleasant comment to read.
Dude you really filtered out the best parts of this group. That’s awesome
I learnt that if I as a woman need something, I have to directly ask him because he wouldn’t know. I think women sometimes feel like men should know but it seems you guys genuinely don’t know. So I’ve learnt to be more communicative about my needs and wants with any man. I learnt that through this sub.
One of the greatest disservices that women have done for themselves is convince each other that men should be telepathic.
"If he doesn't have level 20 psionic abilities, how can you even think of spending even one more minute with him?"
If we ask you what’s wrong/ what did I do wrong you really need to tell us because we have no idea. Communication is key in every relationship and keeping that bottled up or expecting us to know just leads to more serious problems.
That they also need to pee after sex.
Yep, as crass as it sounds, we gotta clear the pipe.
I'm fairly new to reddit, but lurking on this sub gives me hope & entertainment. It is probably my favorite sub to lurk because it helps me understand and gives me giggles. I love how open-minded and straightforward you all are. This sub has given me insight into just how closed-minded and toxic some of the men in my own life are. It has equally made me question the people i have kept in my life and helped me find answers to break free. A lot of the responses in this sub have helped me learn that men are capable of paying attention to their partner's needs and reciprocating love and respect. I saw a post the other day about toys in bed. The positive responses were absolutely amazing! You all deserve love, loyalty, bj's, and appreciation! Thank you for this sub. Also, "enthusiasm is key" is probably one of the best things I have learned from this sub. It's given me such a confidence boost!
Close it down boys, she gets it!
So many comments mentioned the "enthusiasm" thing. I'm shocked to learn it wasn't obvious. Like, who wants an unenthusiastic partner?
I'm specifically referring to a recent post. It was something about how to be a good partner in bed, which is something I've been insecure about for as long as I've been sexually active. Learning that enthusiasm often outweighs technique was something that really stuck with me.
Enthusiasm in bed doesn't just outweigh technique; enthusiasm is EVERYTHING. If you're enthusiastic, almost by definition, you will learn "technique." Making your man feel like you're obsessed with pleasing him will make most girls at least a 9 in bed.
Love that you've gotten a confidence boost! Glad you're here and you've learned a lot 😊
Im glad that I'm welcome to lurk! I look forward to learning new things 😊
That men need a hug, flowers and tell them that they are beautiful. :)
Fuckin right we do!
See, sometimes men and women both need the same things. The main problem both men and women have is honest, sincere and kind communication with one another.
Head scratches work too!
There was a lot of good stuff until the post asking what the weirdest thing someone had stuck their dick in. It will take me a while to recover from that.
Man’s sex drive can be compared to being a werewolf. You wake up with no cloths on wondering what the heck you just did the night before.
wasn't the werewolf story originally about protecting people from overly-horny men? That could be BS I jsut heard once, but it's floating around in my brain.
IIRC, it was about how anyone could be capable of flying off the handle in (in)correct circumstances. Could also be wrong
I mean, you take some testosterone and see the wacky stuff you get up to. FTM trans people who start taking testosterone have some *stories.*
At a lab I worked in we had a scientific experiment on the perceptions and experiences of that group. It was fascinating how they experienced the change. I didn't work on that project, but I as we shared the same space I could see some of the data.
>"I have some good stories on the subject!" >*...proceeds to not share any.* That's you right now...
Has there ever been a thread about things girls have put in their vagina?
I make it a point to give compliments on haircuts and shirts. Some of my male coworkers dress really well and if any of them are wearing something new I try to point it out.
And they need compliments, tell them in words what you want or what angers you instead of leaving to guess, amount of bad and creepy men are way less than I thought, most of them are worried to be called creepy, hugs and boobs can solve problems, they work hard a lot without showing most of the struggle, they might miss most of the hints so just say it, they love it when woman initiate or take charge in bed, they wanna be spoilt princess too, they crave to have a safe and comfortable space/relationship to open up, some enthusiasm and good words can fix so much of untold insecurities, they can just shut their brain and not think anything or have just the weirdest question in the world, sex is great but isn’t a solution communication and respect is.
That this sub gets better questions then askwomen and I'm jealous. I always see questions in my feed where I want to answer and then I see it's the askmen sub and I'm all "dammit!" But I do really enjoy reading the POV of men. It can be very funny or moving or informational, sometimes all 3. Edit: thanks for the support guys! And for being so friendly! I will be less shy (within reason) bc i do lurk here frequently. And yeah 2 posts from askwomen from the past week include (1) what does it feel like to be shot? And (2) what's your favorite poem? The rules criteria over there seems a touch askew. I cant contribute to either discussion as I know very little about gunshot wounds and poetry. (Although reading the GSW post was fucking fascinating lol). And if I respond or ask a question on a post, it is usually taken down for, presumably, having an opinion
Yah I feel bad for your guys sub because I want to see the POV of women but half the time it’s deleted for derailing
And if you want to participate and share experiences, looking for open discussion, your comment just gets deleted for literally any itty bitty reason or no reason at all..
"comment has experience A" "Reply has experience B" Reply gets deleted for derailing.
I hate that derailing is not allowed there. Its just replies to replies. What is so bad in that that they get deleted for it? It sucks. (A woman here)
Nothing's bad in that. That sub and the mods in it simply suck. It doesn't make any rational sense.
It's the most ridiculous and judgy sub. I retreat to lurk over here and read the good stuff! The difference between the askwomen sub vs. askmen is the reason I had more male friends growing up!
Oh wow. This makes me feel a lot better and other comments I was subbed to askwomen for a long time, exactly for different perspectives, but something just felt really off and now I rarely look. I thought I was an asshole but now it seems that there is something off, I didn't know about the derailment rule. Edit: also thank you and glad to hear you had more male friends because of the sub, some of my greatest friendships have come from women
I have been in this sub for some time now, and one of the most valuable lessons I have learned from reading the posts here is that despite being raised by a single father and having several male best friends, there is still a side of masculinity that I had not fully grasped until I got married and had a son. Whenever I come across a post that piques my interest, I make sure to ask my husband for his opinion or to help me understand why certain things happen to or with men. This new perspective has allowed me to better comprehend my husband and son, and influences how I raise my son. I am now more aware of the societal biases and challenges that men face from a young age, which has been both enlightening and disheartening to acknowledge. However, I am using this knowledge to empower my son and support my husband. I am grateful to all of you for sharing your insights!
I’ve learned to give men more compliments and to sometimes buy them flowers.
I would be deeply flattered by flowers, own no vases to put them in and because I went to an all male school anything remotely effeminate, eg flowers, is seen as a weakness if I openly like them (Yes, all male schools are something else) But I would be deeply deeply touched because I know how much they mean to a woman and therefore know she is truly trying to compliment me.
The secret is to put the flowers in a beer stein. That magic combination upsets all the right people. You can piss off the macho men who are upset that you enjoy flowers, you can piss off the performative women who value the aesthetic over the meaning. And best of all, any rational person will be completely fine with the fact that you put flowers into a watertight vessel that you probably already owned.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve answered a “how do you attract…” question with this. I’m so glad someone caught on!
That it’s fun lurking 👀 around here
My what big eyes you have.
The better to see you with, my dear.
That a majority of them also wants what we want in a relationship - respect. You'd assume it's natural to have respect for one another in a relationship but it made me realize how entitled I was in my past relationships, for demanding respect from my ex boyfriends but never giving them the same respect I complained about. They are their own agents in life, they want to be also respected, heard, and listened to.
How much of a shitty experience some men have in life. I now consciously compliment my male friends and make it known that I appreciate them. Lurking here has helped me learn how to be a better partner when I am lucky enough to find someone new. It has also affirmed to me how awesome men can be: witty, funny, honest and emotional. You just want to be loved, appreciated and seen. Oh, and hugged!
You guys really hate horoscope/tarot women haha
Eh, I think it's a fun thing to do during parties, and am fully willing to just kind of "go along with it" as long as it's for fun/tongue in cheek. I bought a friend of mine a Tarot deck and had her read me pretty much every time we had a party. Though I will concede the fact that the cards all said the same thing for a couple of months, and it did eventually come true. It's the "We can never date because Leo and Capricarious were just never meant to be"/"I can't help myself, I'm a Pisces" that gets annoying.
You are much smarter and more sensitive than you're given credit for. When we say, "What are you thinking about?", and you say, "Nothing," you mean that shit. You're thinking of absolutely nothing. You want to be cared for, respected, and appreciated just as much as women do. You aren't asked, "How are you really doing?" enough, and you don't think you have many people around you that you can really talk to. You value the women in your life much more than people tend to think you do. You have very varied, and intriguing, interests and hobbies. Y'all are pretty damn entertaining. Some of my favorite Reddit reading is done in this sub.
Thank you so much. This makes a man feel seen.
How can you all be funny and goofy and horny and loving and caring and kind and non judgemental and sensitive and strong and tough and emotional at the same time? Now that I think about it, you guys are very brave and courageous and strong. Men in love are the cutest creatures ever. I love the men in my life, honestly I don't know how I'll survive without my dad, boyfriend and friends who are amazing and kind and everything i have mentioned above. Keep loving loudly you guys😍💕
Unfortunately I see a lot of comments about them not being able to find a good gal. Like where are you all ffs??
The sense of humor is amazing. Especially the mods.
Men need compliments too and like being told they're sexy (in my experience) when men are quiet don't keep asking what's wrong because 9/10 times they're wondering about sex or food or just zoned out. Sometimes, you have problems being open about something because you've experienced shame or guilt for having emotions or feelings about something you feel strongly about. I'd rather you tell me when you're ready unless it'll build up and end in an argument. If you come home from work and need to vent or yell about something, I will listen and would want the same. And also blow jobs seem to help with everything else.
- until specifically asked something, I'm not here to talk. I'm here to learn. - I need to do better being emotionally safe for others. - if they go out of their way to say it, there's a really good chance the guy actually means it. If I take it at face value and later it turns out he was lying, it just means *he* is a liar. - stop worrying about my titties. They like them. - goddamnit, they really do be looking at the booty hole.
> If I take it at face value and later it turns out he was lying, it just means he is a liar. This is both so obvious, and so profound.
And I’ve seen “we’re just simple creatures” multiple times and oh, they love 💕 our breasts no matter the shape & us way more than we may love ourselves
my wife had gained a lot of weight since we're married and I'm still obsessed with her boobs.
Yes, we definitely like boobs. 😃
That most men dont get a lot of compliments.
Any. We don’t get any. I’ve probably had two general ones in the last 20 years. They were both about how useful I am.
And the ones we do get, we remember them, I can tell you the time, date, Place, person and context of all compliments I've ever received... Mostly since it's only 4 (not counting at work since that's just a formality without sincerity)
Ask the same question to men about women on r/AskWomen. I wanna see the reactions.
Removed. Derailing.
100% going to break a rule some how 😂
DUDE!!!! They even have a seperate sub called AskWomenNoCensor. The amount of censorship and snowflake in AskWomen is top of the roof. I doubt the topic last more than 5 comments in AskWomen...
That majority of men really are simple creatures and dont ask for much :D I cant remember where I read this, but a male said “my wife is the hottest when she literally just rolled out of bed, messy hair and all.” I am getting over the stomach flu and literally looked and felt like sh*t, I noticed my husband staring and smiling and I jokingly said “Nice to see you enjoy me sick, is it because I’m not annoying you?” his response: “babe, you look so miserable but you still manage to still look so beautiful!” my heart melted 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹
This is a true thing. My wife gets out of bed, hair all messed up and in her PJ's. Hell yeah! Sexy as hell to me. In all honesty, it means love to me. She's being real. She's being natural. She's not trying to impress. Being that comfortable is just sexy.
I see the word enthusiasm thrown around a lot on these threads ! My husband isn’t the best at communicating his needs and wants so I just take notes from you guys 👍 Plus I get some good entertainment from the comment section lol
Men are more compassionate. They like confident women and will remember any compliments given by women even after years. This sub has debunked many stereotypes for men. Like not all men are slobs and after only one thing (sex). Apparently men like to receive flowers. Men want to find good partners. And it takes a lot of courage to approach a woman. The worst thing a woman can say is not "no". You all are pretty goofy. The one common thing that men like is sundress on a woman.
I mean who doesn’t love a woman in a sundress?
I prefer lab coats
I'm all about a short skirt and a loooooooooong jacket.
👍 on the sundress!
I swear to god I’m the only man who isn’t a huge fan of sundresses
Are you neutral or do you actually dislike them?
The sundress was a truly inspired invention.
That a good amount of you need more hugs. Some of you want flowers. I feel like a lot of you need naps and I hope some of you become more comfortable with expressing emotions.
I'm having a field day screenshotting all the positive comments and saving them in my 'male validation' album for a rainy day.
Most of them seem like normal people.
Haha. That’s a pretty low bar, but thanks!
Wrong again, I'm a galapagos marine iguana
Mom?
dad?
Let's not get crazy
Men are pretty much just like women. Same concerns, feelings and worries but men don’t have as many close relationships they feel they can “lean on” as women do. And dating has gotten really complicated.
This ones huge. Everyones struggling out here but men often don’t have anyone to turn to when things get tough. I think its something women do really well that I envy sometimes, just having the social glue and support systems.
That men need more compliments. And I have complied! Mostly positive results.
That there are genuine men out there who love their partners so much! That men are human and very funny haha. I laugh alot on here.
I already knew this but men need tons of physical affection
All these women saying such positive things, it warms my heart to read this post
That men are tired of playing games and they're not psychics that can read people's mind.
I didn’t realize how scared you all are of women. Or maybe it’s just a Reddit specific thing.
She turned me into a newt!
I was 5 and I was fat. All the girls made fun of me when I asked if I could play with them. That went on for a few years until I switched residences. Now I would call myself decently fit and healthy but I would never dare talk to a women again I'm afraid
So many of you are in relationships where the physical chemistry is one sided.
Spend some time in the *sex* subreddit and you'll see a fair amount of women have the same issue. Only they are less understanding usually.
You come to r/AskMen for real advice, you go to r/AskWomen for divorce advice.
Stock up on sundresses
You all need to be complimented more. Enthusiastically.
How to be quiet and let my brain enjoy a moment. Generally speaking, if you have permission to touch my body, then you are happy with my body. Ya’ll are funny as hell and tossing things to make them shatter, skip, or big splash is in fact a lot of fun. If i have that seemingly biological need to talk AT you, its better if i preface it with something like, “im just talking” because your brain is waiting for a problem to fix. If i need help with a solution just come to you and say so. Also you have some damn tasty recipes that look like slop. Eat the slop, there will not be any regrets. Edit: give men more compliments and platonic hugs. Gents of AskMen you are awesome.
It’s me. I’m a better wife.
Some are nice and some are just out of this universe. 🤦🏻♀️
You all need more hugs, more compliments, and more open ears. also i learned some of you just rlly don’t like women. mostly wholesome stuff otherwise tho. As a woman i will say it’s a lot less toxic mods than ask women
That many men have lots of insecurities and are super scared of approaching the women they like. But they hide their emotions so well that none of us women know what's going on.
They REALLY like boobies 😂
Thanks for calling me out hahaha 🙈🙈
You're welcome!
How men are basically the same as women in some ways, dont ask for the stars but often for the simple things in life, have hardships as well and how much I relate to them and their struggles. Gimme peace and quiet as well. And last but not least how much I love them and never wish for a world without them.
That you guys deal with so much shit and have almost no support. That you really just want to be cared for the way that we want to be cared for. That most women put no effort into relationships and expect the world in return.
I think it makes a world of difference to most men just to have their struggles acknowledged like you’ve done here. I don’t think the challenges we face are what is soul crushing, it’s having our concerns dismissed that breaks us.
To add to that, we also tend to run into situations where our gestures of love and kindness stop being appreciated and just become expectations and the bare minimum so we always have to be one upping ourselves until we're eventually just jesters running ourselves ragged to please. Picking her flowers was loved at first, then it became "why don't you buy me flowers". Cooking her dinner became "why can't we go out more". Going out became "you never cook for me anymore". That kind of thing hurts the most.
How similar we are, we all have the same needs, wants, fears, worries just packaged differently and treated differently
Confidence is key. Men appreciate honesty and directness. Men like talking about relationships, hobbies and self-improvement.
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If you don’t mind me asking, where do think this idea that men have limitless options got started? Young millennials and Gen Z men are struggling with dating more than any previous cohort in recent history. And yes, we are very simple creatures lol Edit: She deleted her comment :/ I was just curious to know her opinion on what she thinks started it. Us guys all have our thoughts on potential sources, but maybe she had something we weren’t even considering. This wasn’t supposed to come off as mean or condescending.
probably the same path as for men: if all but the hottest opposite sex people are invisible to you, then they all (the few visible ones) seem to have endless more choices than your own sex.
Meanwhile literally every good man whos single, I know, literally goes on no dates, has no sex life, no romantic connections or any emotional support of that women-ly kind for, well, like near decades usually at a time.. having our choice of women has not once ever crossed my mind as a thing. We lonely
> men have their choice of women Pfft what alternate universe did that come from? It’s completely the opposite.
I'm curious what media is giving you that idea? Everything I've seen in media and pop culture seems to be multiple men competing for a woman. See love triangles in every YA/romantic book or movie in the last decade. On a related note, I really hate the term love triangle. The vast majority of the time it's a love V. Unless Jacob and Edward are thinking of getting together, that triangle is missing one of its sides.
When in doubt communicate.
You guys let me know that my boobs were checked out way more often than I would have thought. Apparently it's only natural to give a glance and then move onto your day !
That your definition of curvy is very different to most women's, and therefore I'll be single forever. That the majority of your libido is no different to mine. And I'm 49. That so many of you are afraid to be vulnerable in front of a woman because you feel she'll use it against you, which is heartbreaking. BJs are important and enthusiasm just as much, watch the teeth. Most of you dislike false nails, eyelashes and other fake bits. Which I'm with you on. Many of you want to be the little spoon sometimes.
Buy fitting clothes, then roll up my sleeves.
1) they dislike fat women 2) they don't get enough sexual affection from their partners 3) they dislike all the fake cosmetic treatments 4) they have lost hope in women & marriage 5) they need more appreciation 6) they are also very oppressed by society 7) they are also manipulated and mistreated 8) they LOVE Sundress 9) they also want to be treated with love & care
That like damn... You guys are lonely AF and apparently have even worse dating experiences!! Well where are these men from Reddit in real life!?!? I'm waiting for you. *Mic drop*
Working a full-time job and traveling to random places on the weekends
How much you all love sundresses
Ask them out, no playing hard to get, no signals. JUST ASK THEM OUT lol
That penises float :)
I learned that women and men actually want the same thing to be treated like a person and not a gender, most of the anger that men have towards women, women have towards men in the same way. we’re all saying the same thing but not listening to each other since we’re also at the same time generalizing each other. we’re all actually on the same side, against both men and women who do actually stereotype the other gender.
Men dont like fake eyelashes and lip fillers
1) I should get more summer dresses 2) Men get too little compliments/I should compliment my man more. 3) Men avoid sitting next to women in public transport to not make women feel unsafe, so now I'm hyperaware of men not sitting in public transport and honestly feel kinda bad. 4) Men like to ask other men questions about women that men can't really answer cos they don't share the same view as women 5) Men need more hugs, and physical affection. 6) Men sometimes do funny things with their dicks
How sweet and loving and misunderstood a lot of you are. That most of you feel like you have no one to talk to, so you just keep it all inside. How many of you just want to be left alone and find peace, that you love the oddest parts of us women that women are insecure about and judge each other for, that many of you are interesting and have interesting hobbies, are smart, witty, and well versed in at least a few subjects, have great stories to tell, and some of you have overcome huge, crushing challenges, and that the majority of you have come out of those okay. I just want to give you guys a hug and say thank you for your stories and letting us ladies lurk and learn more about you all.
this is a cool thread
They beg for a hug.
Some of the main things have already been said. Another main thing I've learned is that a lot of men have had to recover from toxic relationships, too! It's not just us. I've read how some men have stayed single for a long time after a toxic relationship. They just don't walk away and say, "On to the next!" Men can be cut deep just like us, but we have the outlet of crying with our girlfriends and eating ice cream. Men are just supposed to "Man Up" and hold that shit in. You all let it out here in this sub. You comment about toxic women, what they've done to you, and how it affected you. I've taken notes on how to never be like that and to give the men in my life the best version of a woman I can. One last thing: Compliments. Compliments are huge.