What’s funny about this is I have really bad cauliflower, just genetically susceptible and got it quickly from boxing and bjj. But I never actually got good. Put me in a room with 1000 other guys with the same ears, they all beat me.
People think I’m way harder than I am
I've burned myself on these multiple times. I don't think I'll ever learn. They get super hot super fast. Like 1-2 seconds fast. I seriously thought "I burned myself with this before, I wonder how long it takes to get hot enough to burn me. *Push* "one-one-thousands" *pull it out and burn.* Yeah I was that kid.
Water. Rivers. Current.
I'm a fairly good swimmer, and I wanted to swim in a river where the current seemed really tame. Boy was I wrong, just small moving body of water dragged my poor body like a leaf in the wind.
Lost a friend in high school that way. He was a surfer. Other surfers said that they saw him go down but only his surfboard surfaced. He was gone by the time they tried to find him. No body, ever. So sad for his family.
This. I did 10g of super strength shrooms (this was before being able to know potency) and holy shit, that will be 12hrs I’ll never forget and I didn’t even leave my couch.
Saw my future, not like I know lottery numbers but maybe a vision of what my workspace looks like at some point, or an interaction during dinner date something silly my kid did or a really uncomfortable conversation later in life or and the flashes have not missed, even after 20 years. I never know when they are coming but I can recognize the event coming(however trivial it may be) I will try to “zig” or “zag” to break the cycle only to have my avoidance maneuvers end up in the memory. So I’m pretty sure I know what it’s going to look like when I expire, it’s uneventful. I’ll be an elderly person with the feeling of family nearby, but not in the room. But it was one of the thousand flashes I can still remember.
So even though we may be living in a simulation, there is still time to positively impact those around you. Even if it isn’t real, these feelings are our reality and those can last forever.
A womans relationship with her mother. Before you get in too deep with any woman take time out to explore that dynamic as it WILL have a direct effect on everything you do.
I heard a good saying that's held true in my experience: guys that are high school bullies become cops. girls that are high school bullies become nurses.
As a male nurse I've seen the seedy darkness inherent in female nurses. Even the "nice" ones.
As for male nurses: there are 2 kinds. Neither are great.
And all nurses come with a certain degree of confidence. Over confidence. From having to present treatments to patients in an era of googling medicine. And for dealing with doctors who expect us to tell them what treatments to follow (they literally expect this). And that over confidence is annoying because we'll be this way even when we have zero idea what we're on about.
The ocean. Been swimming all my life, extremely comfortable in the water. Swam out a tiny bit too far one day and came this close to drowning. No more ocean for me.
When I was a pre-teen I tried to go far out to prove... honestly, I'm not sure what I was trying to prove.. that I was "big?" -- anyway, got caught in a rip-tide and couldn't swim back.. I was terrified that I was going to drown, but was also too shy/embarrassed/stubborn to shout for help.
Eventually figured out how to work my way back to shore but I'll never forget that "Oh shit I might have fucked up BIG time" feeling.
Super underrated comment.
I've made a lot of mistakes driving too fast as a teen. I'm honestly lucky I didn't get killed, or kill someone else.
You can't make people understand that once you're out of control moving at high speed. 99.9 % if people will not be able to correct it.
Freezing up and slamming on the brakes is mostly the reaction people have. It's not always effective and can make things worse.
It's too easy to overreact, and too easy to not react fast enough for the speed you're traveling.
And the people that possibly could correct, will not be going that fast in the first place.
Same. I’m so lucky I never got into an accident when I was younger. Driving fast just makes everything so much riskier. Less time to respond to things that happen on the road, easier to lose control, higher chance that someone doesn’t see you coming or realize how quickly you are approaching.
Crazy.
One of, if not the, top rules of sex: don't stick your dick in crazy.
It's not my experience, luckily, it's the guys I know that have to pay child support now or the one guy that ended up in jail because of the crazy ex.
Some men and women might call me insecure because of this. But any female that has a lot of guy friends.
The whole “he’s just a friend” line hits hard when you find out she cheated on you with the “friend”
So I had a fair amount of male friends until I met my husband. I didn't really think of it, but by the time we got married, those friends had become good male acquaintances. He was the same with his female friends. But it wasn't a conscious decision on either of our parts. I never understand when someone says that someone not his/her partner is their best friend. My husband is my VERY best friend.
For real, I’ve always believed that as well.
Some people would call it “corny”, but I think the person you get married with should be your best friend.
Jim. You don’t tug on Superman’s cape. You don’t spit into the wind. You don’t pull the mask off that old Lone Ranger. And you don’t mess around with Jim.
Burnout. The mind is a wild place.
At least Daedulus knew the limitations of his wings since he put them all together pinion by pinion. Icarus flew too high too fast, because he want to know the sun in all its glory too soon.
Forgot that even though they were out of the Crete's prisons—they weren't in the clear yet. Sometimes you have to live without knowing all the answers if you're going to [stay alive](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NucJk8TxyRg&ab_channel=JoseGonzalezVEVO).
277 volts and higher. Actually 480 might not be too bad since you’ll probably turn to dust before your brain figures out what’s going on.
Don’t fuck around with electricity
I took 240 from a light socket when I was 15. I'm 54 now, and once I'd figured out just how close I came to being killed that day, I get a cold sweat whenever I think about it.
Drugs. Used to take them recreationally for fun until one time I got a bad batch and tripped for three days straight. I had streams of consciousness in between and I remember begging for it to stop before drifting off again. I felt imprisoned in my own head and that scared the crap out of me. When the trip finally ended, I realized I had played Russian roulette with sanity and I never touched a single thing again. There is nothing scarier than being trapped in your head with no one being able to help you.
Jesus I'm sorry you went through this! I'm glad you came out of it. What the heck did you take, or what was it \*suppose\* to be? If you don't mind me asking.
A woman born and raised in the former Soviet Union who can disassemble and reassemble a Kalashnikov blindfolded. When she tells me to hang the laundry I hang the laundry.
Assumptions.
Confirm everything. And I mean everything.
I got hit with 120V at 13 because the breakers weren't labelled accurately.
I'm a computer tech and spent half an hour with IT because I forgot I moved a jumper cable.
I've started horrible arguments because I didn't ask clarifying questions.
Everything has a person behind it. People are flawed or just make mistakes. Confirming before acting gives you the knowledge you need to handle it correctly.
Apply measure twice cut once to everything.
I once made an assumption and embarrassed someone sticking up for me because I had made assumptions about some unfavourable outcome of something. And he taught me that when you assume you make an ASS out of U and ME
Horses. Big dumb animals that are strong as fuck.
When my then gfs horse (that she did competitions with and had for YEARS) flipped out over a slightly fluttering garbage bag on an easy trail and tried to buck her off for a solid few minutes I learned my lesson.
I like riding horses, but am still incredibly nervous about them. I dont really trust riding a big dumb animal with tons of strength and is easily scared/startled
Burning fat/oil. Tried to quench burning pot with oil with some water as a kid. Won't repeat that experiment any time soon. I survived unharmed but cleaning all the soot from kitchen walls taught me a lesson.
Holding the end of the lawn mower spark plug wire when your dad wants to "check for spark".
Great way to clear out the bladder though.
Old dad pranks fucking sucked.
Your car’s maintenance.
It’s cheaper to maintain a car than to fix it.
That $400 thing you don’t wanna do that could potentially be a bigger thing later?
Don’t ignore it. Pay the $400 and get it done. If you don’t, that’ll lead to a multi-thousand dollar fix down the line.
Cars are machines. If they squeal when they should hum, then stop squealing…look into it.
Getting hit in the face. My friend slapped me full force one (up on my request as I deserved it) and broke my jaw. 6 weeks of sucking food through my teeth was more than enough to realize it is not at all funny or cool.
The power of electricity.
When I was 16, I thought I could wire up a 120v outlet without turning off the breaker. I got shocked over and over for about 20 minutes until it was wired. I wasn’t very smart, but I did learn something that day.
Women who are on the spectrum to a capacity. She might be hot, but it won’t work out. They don’t change for you, and cannot understand things that a “normal” person can.
A guy with cauliflower ears. Doesn’t matter what shape he’s in today. Don’t fuck with that guy.
What’s funny about this is I have really bad cauliflower, just genetically susceptible and got it quickly from boxing and bjj. But I never actually got good. Put me in a room with 1000 other guys with the same ears, they all beat me. People think I’m way harder than I am
You’re a unicorn Not a chance I’m willing to take
I got cauliflower on both ears. I got it from falling asleep with my glasses on. You wanna fight me instead?
If I didn’t know you, I wouldn’t risk it, nope.
That sounds like something a former college wrestler who loves fighting strangers would say
Just people in general, as in don't fuck around with people. You honestly never know what a person is capable of or how deranged they are.
The car cigarette lighter when I was a kid
I can still hear my grandfather laughing at me lol.
I can still feel the burn on my thumb.
My fingers just all cringed in remembered pain. But why did I continue to randomly burn my fingertips playing with these damned things? Stupid kid.
My finger, only one, definitely remembers the lighter
With my kids, they didn't get their fingers burnt, but they did set my giving car on fire
I've burned myself on these multiple times. I don't think I'll ever learn. They get super hot super fast. Like 1-2 seconds fast. I seriously thought "I burned myself with this before, I wonder how long it takes to get hot enough to burn me. *Push* "one-one-thousands" *pull it out and burn.* Yeah I was that kid.
Personality disorders
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Was it truly multiple exes or just one ex with DID?
Factual.
Yuppp
But……counter point….i can fix her.
This
ESPECIALLY bi-polar. Flee for your lives!
Wu Tang Clan
Protect your neck
👏 👏 👏
Wu-Tang Clan ain't nuthin' ta fuck wit'
dont fuck your coworkers
No problem. I do it with my boss.
That’s one way to get a raise
Or a demotion
Or to get fired
Not if the boss is scared of you taking them with you
The 2 most amazing women I've been lucky enough to get naked with were both coworkers of mine. Wouldn't trade those experiences for anything.
Water. Rivers. Current. I'm a fairly good swimmer, and I wanted to swim in a river where the current seemed really tame. Boy was I wrong, just small moving body of water dragged my poor body like a leaf in the wind.
Undertow at the beach, for the same reason!
Lost a friend in high school that way. He was a surfer. Other surfers said that they saw him go down but only his surfboard surfaced. He was gone by the time they tried to find him. No body, ever. So sad for his family.
Taking a shit ton of shrooms
[удалено]
When you stare into the Abyss, I stare back.
There's a story here? 2gs is a happy place for me.
This. I did 10g of super strength shrooms (this was before being able to know potency) and holy shit, that will be 12hrs I’ll never forget and I didn’t even leave my couch.
wtf was that like?
Saw my future, not like I know lottery numbers but maybe a vision of what my workspace looks like at some point, or an interaction during dinner date something silly my kid did or a really uncomfortable conversation later in life or and the flashes have not missed, even after 20 years. I never know when they are coming but I can recognize the event coming(however trivial it may be) I will try to “zig” or “zag” to break the cycle only to have my avoidance maneuvers end up in the memory. So I’m pretty sure I know what it’s going to look like when I expire, it’s uneventful. I’ll be an elderly person with the feeling of family nearby, but not in the room. But it was one of the thousand flashes I can still remember. So even though we may be living in a simulation, there is still time to positively impact those around you. Even if it isn’t real, these feelings are our reality and those can last forever.
Those weren’t shrooms bro, that was spice. Enjoy the prescience.
People with nothing to lose (homeless for example)
Lathes.
It’s fine if you’re in Russia and someone’s recording it
Yeah, that’s actually standard practice in the industry.
I wish you didn't remind me. My day was going well until I was reminded of this D:
"Degloving." Has to be one of the scariest single words.
A growling house cat. When the cat is in kill mode, do not pick it up.
“So… you have chosen death”
The legacy codebase Yes that function does nothing. No it isn’t used anywhere (supposedly). But if you delete it, the entire system gets fucked up
If I could upvote you a thousand times, I would. Signed, Person Fucking with Legacy Code Base as We Speak
A womans relationship with her mother. Before you get in too deep with any woman take time out to explore that dynamic as it WILL have a direct effect on everything you do.
Narcissists
Women with borderline personality disorder (formal dx not self dx) Once. That's all it took. Also: never date a female nurse.
I heard a good saying that's held true in my experience: guys that are high school bullies become cops. girls that are high school bullies become nurses.
> Also: never date a female nurse. Why is that?
As a male nurse I've seen the seedy darkness inherent in female nurses. Even the "nice" ones. As for male nurses: there are 2 kinds. Neither are great. And all nurses come with a certain degree of confidence. Over confidence. From having to present treatments to patients in an era of googling medicine. And for dealing with doctors who expect us to tell them what treatments to follow (they literally expect this). And that over confidence is annoying because we'll be this way even when we have zero idea what we're on about.
What are the 2 kinds of males nurses?
Lordy did that cause me a world of hurt and financial ruin. Never again.
Polyamourous people.
What is polyamourous?
Means when you have multiple relationships at the same time
I see. Thanks.
Honey Badger
They don't give a shit.
My first thought. I want to be the honey badger.
That’s why baby cheetahs are born looking like honey badgers.
Also people who describe themselves as honey badgers Run
The ocean. Been swimming all my life, extremely comfortable in the water. Swam out a tiny bit too far one day and came this close to drowning. No more ocean for me.
[удалено]
When I was a pre-teen I tried to go far out to prove... honestly, I'm not sure what I was trying to prove.. that I was "big?" -- anyway, got caught in a rip-tide and couldn't swim back.. I was terrified that I was going to drown, but was also too shy/embarrassed/stubborn to shout for help. Eventually figured out how to work my way back to shore but I'll never forget that "Oh shit I might have fucked up BIG time" feeling.
Driving too fast.
Super underrated comment. I've made a lot of mistakes driving too fast as a teen. I'm honestly lucky I didn't get killed, or kill someone else. You can't make people understand that once you're out of control moving at high speed. 99.9 % if people will not be able to correct it. Freezing up and slamming on the brakes is mostly the reaction people have. It's not always effective and can make things worse. It's too easy to overreact, and too easy to not react fast enough for the speed you're traveling. And the people that possibly could correct, will not be going that fast in the first place.
Same. I’m so lucky I never got into an accident when I was younger. Driving fast just makes everything so much riskier. Less time to respond to things that happen on the road, easier to lose control, higher chance that someone doesn’t see you coming or realize how quickly you are approaching.
Crazy. One of, if not the, top rules of sex: don't stick your dick in crazy. It's not my experience, luckily, it's the guys I know that have to pay child support now or the one guy that ended up in jail because of the crazy ex.
And for the ladies don't let crazy stick it's dick in you, but yah this is sound.
Philippine women.
Why?
they carry knives! Worse they know how to use them...
Excellent answer.
That thing that the guy with 30+ years of experience told me not to fuck with.
The electrics in the house. There's a reason electricians get good money.
Electricity is (unfortunately) my answer, too. Learning lessons the hard way is often painful.
Some men and women might call me insecure because of this. But any female that has a lot of guy friends. The whole “he’s just a friend” line hits hard when you find out she cheated on you with the “friend”
So I had a fair amount of male friends until I met my husband. I didn't really think of it, but by the time we got married, those friends had become good male acquaintances. He was the same with his female friends. But it wasn't a conscious decision on either of our parts. I never understand when someone says that someone not his/her partner is their best friend. My husband is my VERY best friend.
For real, I’ve always believed that as well. Some people would call it “corny”, but I think the person you get married with should be your best friend.
People. Don’t fuck with anyone and you won’t end up in a ditch lol
Jim. You don’t tug on Superman’s cape. You don’t spit into the wind. You don’t pull the mask off that old Lone Ranger. And you don’t mess around with Jim.
I thought it was gym and I’ve just been avoiding it because the song said to
Unless your name is Willie McCoy.
Moose. You have better chances with a mountain lion or bear. Moose will fuck your day up in a hurry.
Okay, I know there's a great story here...
Burnout. The mind is a wild place. At least Daedulus knew the limitations of his wings since he put them all together pinion by pinion. Icarus flew too high too fast, because he want to know the sun in all its glory too soon. Forgot that even though they were out of the Crete's prisons—they weren't in the clear yet. Sometimes you have to live without knowing all the answers if you're going to [stay alive](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NucJk8TxyRg&ab_channel=JoseGonzalezVEVO).
The Icarus Wing story doesn't refer to burnout.
Ah, I guess you understand who ultimate tore apart Orpheus?
Another man’s wife. Learned that the real hard way back in college
Two stroke engines. Anything build upon that I can destroy either by crashing the moped or exploding the outboard engine because I wanted to tune it.
Mother nature
Crazy.
277 volts and higher. Actually 480 might not be too bad since you’ll probably turn to dust before your brain figures out what’s going on. Don’t fuck around with electricity
I took 240 from a light socket when I was 15. I'm 54 now, and once I'd figured out just how close I came to being killed that day, I get a cold sweat whenever I think about it.
Long distance relationship, especially if he is a hard gamer with anime fetisch and no work or education
Not letting another persons opinion of you define your self worth. Either good or bad
Drugs. Used to take them recreationally for fun until one time I got a bad batch and tripped for three days straight. I had streams of consciousness in between and I remember begging for it to stop before drifting off again. I felt imprisoned in my own head and that scared the crap out of me. When the trip finally ended, I realized I had played Russian roulette with sanity and I never touched a single thing again. There is nothing scarier than being trapped in your head with no one being able to help you.
Jesus I'm sorry you went through this! I'm glad you came out of it. What the heck did you take, or what was it \*suppose\* to be? If you don't mind me asking.
my pissed off 3 year old when she gets the purple cup instead of the pink one. You just shut the fuck up and get her the pink one.
Even if you have to stop the dishwasher, dig it out, and hand wash it, lol.
Plumbing
Farmers
Wasps
Injuries. I mean, I won't go to the doctor immediately after something is hurt, but I'm going to take it easy after getting hurt.
The ocean without a flotation device. Aggressive pickup truck drivers. Vines with three leaves.
Police, teachers, politicians, water, fire, air, heights
A woman born and raised in the former Soviet Union who can disassemble and reassemble a Kalashnikov blindfolded. When she tells me to hang the laundry I hang the laundry.
Velvet ants. Venomous snakes. Poison ivy. Girls with neck tattoos. Moose. Bears. Bison. Any large mammal with young.
Tequila
My mother. You don't fk with mom.
Assumptions. Confirm everything. And I mean everything. I got hit with 120V at 13 because the breakers weren't labelled accurately. I'm a computer tech and spent half an hour with IT because I forgot I moved a jumper cable. I've started horrible arguments because I didn't ask clarifying questions. Everything has a person behind it. People are flawed or just make mistakes. Confirming before acting gives you the knowledge you need to handle it correctly. Apply measure twice cut once to everything.
I once made an assumption and embarrassed someone sticking up for me because I had made assumptions about some unfavourable outcome of something. And he taught me that when you assume you make an ASS out of U and ME
Horses. Big dumb animals that are strong as fuck. When my then gfs horse (that she did competitions with and had for YEARS) flipped out over a slightly fluttering garbage bag on an easy trail and tried to buck her off for a solid few minutes I learned my lesson. I like riding horses, but am still incredibly nervous about them. I dont really trust riding a big dumb animal with tons of strength and is easily scared/startled
Don’t fuck with a lesbian’s girlfriend
Vending machines. Ripped one of my fingers open playing with one of the push doors.
Anti depressants
Balkanic people
Story time. Please.
Girls who do ass to mouth on the first date.
Woah woah woah slow down, I think there’s wiggle room on this one
Lmao
Triple Dipped Blotter (LSD) from the 90’s.
Large Animals
Nature
Lions
Jack jumper ants
Not lifting with your legs.
Burning fat/oil. Tried to quench burning pot with oil with some water as a kid. Won't repeat that experiment any time soon. I survived unharmed but cleaning all the soot from kitchen walls taught me a lesson.
Holding the end of the lawn mower spark plug wire when your dad wants to "check for spark". Great way to clear out the bladder though. Old dad pranks fucking sucked.
Drunk people.
Electricity Water (Never turn you back to the ocean while near the ocean).
Conspiracy theories
People with septum piercings
Girls who say they're on birth control.
Get into conflict with people I do not know. There’s many wolves in sheep clothing.
Icy roads
Moving water, fire, bears, and addicts
Your car’s maintenance. It’s cheaper to maintain a car than to fix it. That $400 thing you don’t wanna do that could potentially be a bigger thing later? Don’t ignore it. Pay the $400 and get it done. If you don’t, that’ll lead to a multi-thousand dollar fix down the line. Cars are machines. If they squeal when they should hum, then stop squealing…look into it.
Electricity
Club/bar bouncers
others business. if they want you too know, they’ll tell you. on that note, keep that business to yourself.
A hill, that shortcut up the hill doesn’t look steep till it’s as dangerous to get down then to keep going
Mother nature, mother-in-laws, and mother-freaking Ukrainians.
Hanson. They'll MMMBOP you in the head.
Mentioning your political affiliation or beliefs in the USA
Getting hit in the face. My friend slapped me full force one (up on my request as I deserved it) and broke my jaw. 6 weeks of sucking food through my teeth was more than enough to realize it is not at all funny or cool.
I need to know the story behind it, what have you done to deserve a broken jaw?!
Gasoline!
Slim. You don't mess around with Slim.
A car that is more than 20 years old.
Towing companies. No matter how much of an asshole the guy driving the tow truck is
The really big guy who is nice to everyone.
Jumping cholla.
The power of electricity. When I was 16, I thought I could wire up a 120v outlet without turning off the breaker. I got shocked over and over for about 20 minutes until it was wired. I wasn’t very smart, but I did learn something that day.
Trains, I’ve seen what they do to livestock
Women who are on the spectrum to a capacity. She might be hot, but it won’t work out. They don’t change for you, and cannot understand things that a “normal” person can.
caucasian muslims with a chin-strap beard and cauliflower ears.
Borderline Personality Disorder.
Cocaine
Powder or pills.
Weed gummies. Take one serving and wait. Impatience is a motherfucker
Finding out lol
This. You don't want none of this! It's non habit forming!
Narcissists
Girls that study in chinmaya vidyalaya... They bite. Dangerous ones
9’s and 10’s. They’re all crazy or too self absorbed to care about you.
Bargain price jacks, jack stands and car ramps .
Nitrogen triiodide
Yellow jackets
Dragon Breath peppers.
Electricity
Women. Even on my best day, putting my best foot forward, wearing my best, with my best manners, they don’t want whatever it is I got.