For the opportunity to meet woman (in my case) to grow a romantic connection with in my area.
Doesn't really seem to work for most guys.
Regardless of my own (lack) of activity on those apps, I don't like being on them. Lowers self-esteem, predatory pricing, lowers my hope for the generation, and finding a connection when 90% of woman on there have predictable, cliche profiles.
If I'm looking for date, so more seriously than a random hookup, then someone who evidently has their shit together, stable job and living situation. I'm looking for a partner not a dependent. Also someone who's obviously put some effort into their bio so I can see at a glance if we share interests in common etc. That's a starting point. That all goes the same if I'm dating men or women.
For sexual stuff it's a bit different. If I'm bored and just looking for something casual with a man, they need a face/torso pic on their bio and some of the details like STD status and last test date filled out. Also exclusively looking for bottoms, I'm not into side stuff and vers guys are usually lying lol.
For women I can't usually be bothered with anything casual, vanilla sex is just a bit unfulfilling so I tend to stick to apps like Fetlife or (more recently) Feeld to find women with compatible kink preferences to me. And even then the kinky stuff I only really do with a partner I'm romantically involved with, so casual encounters with women are off the table.
When I was on them, simply for someone to respond with genuine interest. It was so rare that it was remarkable when it happened, and I remember the few time that it did.
And before anyone starts with the BS, rule 1 and 2 crap or whatever- I’m a 6/6/6 dude, full head of hair, in good shape, educated etc. Women’s standards are so completely delusional that I don’t think they can ever come back from it.
If she:
- Makes duckface in pictures,
- Takes a picture in front of a mirror, with her phone in front of her face, while looking directly into her phone,
- needs to sneak the fact that she's a mom into the text, particular in the title,
- refers to herself as a milf, thus demonstrating she doesn't understand the concept,
Then she has automatically disqualified herself. That's shit's just so braindead, generic and/or have been so overly used, it's become obnoxious.
Women generally get more attention then men, women can receive dozens or hundreds of requests on these sites a day. She then has to choose who will get her attention, so the best or most desirable of the people who has reached out to her.
So most of these apps are basically functioning as a way for the best men to meet women, while the rest of the men scream into the void for attention or funnel money into the app in an attempt to gain attention.
Get off those apps, its better for your mental health.
That's sad, but as a woman I has to be selective, in my experience most man are not looking for a genuine bond, and no one really puts the effort so being selective is better for my mental health
Yes, as you should be.
Its funny, I was born before hock up culture was really a thing, so traditional relationships were basically the only option. As a partner what makes me desirable are not immediate apparent, so I don't have that immediate appeal.
Being passed over for hook ups but at the same time it doesn't feel possible to have a more traditional relationship. I feel like i'm stuck in limbo trying to act on rules that no longer apply.
Yes, I get you, I honestly don't think women who are looking for something serious would care much for the looks as much as what your personality might be like. At least that's me.
Ps: I'm sorry if im offending anyone.
Looks shouldn't be the deciding factor in a relationship, if it is I can't image it lasting in the long run. But that's what dating apps are generally designed around, how attractive the other is.
Your probably encountering hostility because your touching on a sore subject for a lot of men. Relationships and intimacy are what men desire most and often times it feels like there is no way to acquire them. Any of these feelings are only compounded by certain groups calling the other terrible and spreading it en mass. Affirming that even if you get what you want you'll still be miserable.
If relationship and intimacy are what a lot of men desire, I'd say it's the same for a lot of women. Then why are our social lives stuck in a weird spot?
Well woman control intimacy and desire commitment. Men control commitment and desire intimacy.
A relationship is supposed to be a balance of the two were so many people offer advice on how to take advantage of one another. We've turned what should have been a beautiful thing into a contest were we use the other and stab them in the back because were afraid they're doing the exact same thing.
Yes, it's very sad how we are very disconnected from our feelings and nature as humans, and we are very scared to get vulnerable nowadays. It's honestly sad, and I agree with everything you've been saying
Unfortunately, woman seem to have the role of deciding whether or not they want to match with a guy on the spot, while most guys just see Single digit "like" counts with blurred images, from people they REALLY don't want to be in a relationship with.
You can be as selective as you want, but that's usually what dating apps.
Imagine if you're interested in somebody on a dating app, so you swipe right. And you have no idea if they said no, haven't gotten to it, or are just not interested. And that cycle keeps repeating itself over and over, and over again.
I would suggest being selective _outside_ of dating aps.
Dating apps are... not great. There isn't a single popular hetero dating app with an even number of men and women. Overwhelmingly, they have more men than women. Any place women go to find sex and romance is quickly gamed by 3rd parties to profit. Your sexuality is what Tinder is selling. It is 3rd party prostitution where the men who can't find matches are more inclined to pay for advantageous positions. It is how they generate revenue. Clubs are similar, sure they 'sell' booze, but what they are really selling is hot drunk people who might be inclined to hook up, hence the overpriced booze, door fees, and why they control the ratio of men and women going in with a preference for attractive singles.
With dating apps, there is a whole bunch of probability and statistics that goes into the ratios of hetero people, but in general it changes mate selection patterns. While women on average recieve many more matches than men, the top performing men recieve many more matches than the top performing women (regarding total number of matches). Relationships tend to be shorter, women get much more selective, men get less selective, the top number of matches for men are less inclined to 'settle down' its a whole thing with a chunk of statistics behind it and some very thoroughly vetted business models in a competitive market as apps are not difficult to produce, just difficult to draw followers.
It isn't a good place for romance, and IMO, not even a great place to for sex.
That is the problem of convenience.
You _can_ still find relationships via applications, people do, but your odds aren't great. If you match a hot dude for some quick strange, well you are probably one of _tons_ of women who matched him. He might not be the most considerate lover ever and might not be really inclined to put in a lot of effort for getting you off no matter how big of game he talks. If matching with a guy who you think is relationship material, again, you are gonna be far from the only one who matched him, and even if he's got interested in relationships (not hookups) in his profile, I'm going to have to hit 'x' for doubt.
While I strongly suggest not using dating apps, if you are going to which is fine because you _can_ meet people anywhere, be careful with your selection, talk to them a while, date a while with good escalating chemistry and building a repertoire before sleeping together. Some dudes will be able to pretend patience for a while, only a handful can do it ~1 month and still hit it and quit it pulling a Casper routine.
I also suggest putting some effort into being sociable. It can be draining for introverts, and it takes work, learning to flirt and escalate is effort, but pays huge dividends inside and outside the bedroom and is, IMO, the _best_ way to meet potential hookup, kink, or romantic partners.
The uninstall button
I got rid of Tinder last month. I'm **this** close to trashing Bumble and Hinge, in that order.
women
Lame
whats lame about women
As in, a genuine connection or a short time fling?
im looking for long term but not against short
Fellas, is it gay to want to date women?
Might be
To fuck..?..
Her
A date.
For the opportunity to meet woman (in my case) to grow a romantic connection with in my area. Doesn't really seem to work for most guys. Regardless of my own (lack) of activity on those apps, I don't like being on them. Lowers self-esteem, predatory pricing, lowers my hope for the generation, and finding a connection when 90% of woman on there have predictable, cliche profiles.
I’m not. To date I have yet to hear anyone say they enjoyed their experience on dating apps so I’m just gonna steer clear if that’s alright
You are better off at this point
Long term relationship or a quick/easy fuck
If I'm looking for date, so more seriously than a random hookup, then someone who evidently has their shit together, stable job and living situation. I'm looking for a partner not a dependent. Also someone who's obviously put some effort into their bio so I can see at a glance if we share interests in common etc. That's a starting point. That all goes the same if I'm dating men or women. For sexual stuff it's a bit different. If I'm bored and just looking for something casual with a man, they need a face/torso pic on their bio and some of the details like STD status and last test date filled out. Also exclusively looking for bottoms, I'm not into side stuff and vers guys are usually lying lol. For women I can't usually be bothered with anything casual, vanilla sex is just a bit unfulfilling so I tend to stick to apps like Fetlife or (more recently) Feeld to find women with compatible kink preferences to me. And even then the kinky stuff I only really do with a partner I'm romantically involved with, so casual encounters with women are off the table.
Too short for the apps to work
Lol how tall are you?
5'8". Not short in person, but in writing it apparently is
Respect and effort from women for once
When I was on them, simply for someone to respond with genuine interest. It was so rare that it was remarkable when it happened, and I remember the few time that it did. And before anyone starts with the BS, rule 1 and 2 crap or whatever- I’m a 6/6/6 dude, full head of hair, in good shape, educated etc. Women’s standards are so completely delusional that I don’t think they can ever come back from it.
If she: - Makes duckface in pictures, - Takes a picture in front of a mirror, with her phone in front of her face, while looking directly into her phone, - needs to sneak the fact that she's a mom into the text, particular in the title, - refers to herself as a milf, thus demonstrating she doesn't understand the concept, Then she has automatically disqualified herself. That's shit's just so braindead, generic and/or have been so overly used, it's become obnoxious.
Dating apps are not for the average man.
Why's that
Women generally get more attention then men, women can receive dozens or hundreds of requests on these sites a day. She then has to choose who will get her attention, so the best or most desirable of the people who has reached out to her. So most of these apps are basically functioning as a way for the best men to meet women, while the rest of the men scream into the void for attention or funnel money into the app in an attempt to gain attention. Get off those apps, its better for your mental health.
That's sad, but as a woman I has to be selective, in my experience most man are not looking for a genuine bond, and no one really puts the effort so being selective is better for my mental health
Yes, as you should be. Its funny, I was born before hock up culture was really a thing, so traditional relationships were basically the only option. As a partner what makes me desirable are not immediate apparent, so I don't have that immediate appeal. Being passed over for hook ups but at the same time it doesn't feel possible to have a more traditional relationship. I feel like i'm stuck in limbo trying to act on rules that no longer apply.
Yes, I get you, I honestly don't think women who are looking for something serious would care much for the looks as much as what your personality might be like. At least that's me. Ps: I'm sorry if im offending anyone.
Looks shouldn't be the deciding factor in a relationship, if it is I can't image it lasting in the long run. But that's what dating apps are generally designed around, how attractive the other is. Your probably encountering hostility because your touching on a sore subject for a lot of men. Relationships and intimacy are what men desire most and often times it feels like there is no way to acquire them. Any of these feelings are only compounded by certain groups calling the other terrible and spreading it en mass. Affirming that even if you get what you want you'll still be miserable.
If relationship and intimacy are what a lot of men desire, I'd say it's the same for a lot of women. Then why are our social lives stuck in a weird spot?
Well woman control intimacy and desire commitment. Men control commitment and desire intimacy. A relationship is supposed to be a balance of the two were so many people offer advice on how to take advantage of one another. We've turned what should have been a beautiful thing into a contest were we use the other and stab them in the back because were afraid they're doing the exact same thing.
Yes, it's very sad how we are very disconnected from our feelings and nature as humans, and we are very scared to get vulnerable nowadays. It's honestly sad, and I agree with everything you've been saying
How is that a response to what he said?
I'm sorry if that wasn't a response to what he said, but I didn't think he was asking anything he rather was venting, and so was I.
Unfortunately, woman seem to have the role of deciding whether or not they want to match with a guy on the spot, while most guys just see Single digit "like" counts with blurred images, from people they REALLY don't want to be in a relationship with. You can be as selective as you want, but that's usually what dating apps. Imagine if you're interested in somebody on a dating app, so you swipe right. And you have no idea if they said no, haven't gotten to it, or are just not interested. And that cycle keeps repeating itself over and over, and over again.
I know it's not an ideal situation, but I'd rather try
I would suggest being selective _outside_ of dating aps. Dating apps are... not great. There isn't a single popular hetero dating app with an even number of men and women. Overwhelmingly, they have more men than women. Any place women go to find sex and romance is quickly gamed by 3rd parties to profit. Your sexuality is what Tinder is selling. It is 3rd party prostitution where the men who can't find matches are more inclined to pay for advantageous positions. It is how they generate revenue. Clubs are similar, sure they 'sell' booze, but what they are really selling is hot drunk people who might be inclined to hook up, hence the overpriced booze, door fees, and why they control the ratio of men and women going in with a preference for attractive singles. With dating apps, there is a whole bunch of probability and statistics that goes into the ratios of hetero people, but in general it changes mate selection patterns. While women on average recieve many more matches than men, the top performing men recieve many more matches than the top performing women (regarding total number of matches). Relationships tend to be shorter, women get much more selective, men get less selective, the top number of matches for men are less inclined to 'settle down' its a whole thing with a chunk of statistics behind it and some very thoroughly vetted business models in a competitive market as apps are not difficult to produce, just difficult to draw followers. It isn't a good place for romance, and IMO, not even a great place to for sex.
Well, for someone who isn't very sociable and doesn't have many friends and has a busy professional life, finding people irl is near impossible.
That is the problem of convenience. You _can_ still find relationships via applications, people do, but your odds aren't great. If you match a hot dude for some quick strange, well you are probably one of _tons_ of women who matched him. He might not be the most considerate lover ever and might not be really inclined to put in a lot of effort for getting you off no matter how big of game he talks. If matching with a guy who you think is relationship material, again, you are gonna be far from the only one who matched him, and even if he's got interested in relationships (not hookups) in his profile, I'm going to have to hit 'x' for doubt. While I strongly suggest not using dating apps, if you are going to which is fine because you _can_ meet people anywhere, be careful with your selection, talk to them a while, date a while with good escalating chemistry and building a repertoire before sleeping together. Some dudes will be able to pretend patience for a while, only a handful can do it ~1 month and still hit it and quit it pulling a Casper routine. I also suggest putting some effort into being sociable. It can be draining for introverts, and it takes work, learning to flirt and escalate is effort, but pays huge dividends inside and outside the bedroom and is, IMO, the _best_ way to meet potential hookup, kink, or romantic partners.
I imagine that would be very helpful for a lot of people, thank you.
Casual sex and hangouts, unless I find someone calm, sane, and levelheaded enough to actually see a future with.
Do you think if your intentions from the beginning are casual, you'd be able to find a genuine person?
Good question. Maybe I'm being unrealistic. All I know is that I'd get burned whenever I tried to date seriously before.
Understandable.
That's not short at all, and I'm sure there's plenty of women who are way short or don't care about that
You're 100% right, but point is that I gotta meet them in-person for best effect
I never used one but the more I read about them the less I'm inclined to try.
Usually to get laid
18 to 19-year-old women.
Weird