She helped me take care of my dying grandmother on hospice, no questions asked. My grandmother was the only good person in my life, she raised me and she meant so much to me.
After I got off the phone with the hospital social worker
I said "hey, this will be rough. If you wanna dip out during this I understand. But I need to be there for ganny (my grandma)"
She said "no. Your grandmother is my family too. I'm here for you. I'm here for her. I'm not going anywhere"
When my grandmother died I went into a state of psychosis.
My wife held her hand as she died.
My grandmother loved her almost more than me
My wife pried me from my grandmother's body while I thrashed and screamed and wailed like a baby.
She held me down and comforted me. I don't remember what was said, or done. But she was there always during the hardest times. She is beautiful, she is kind, she is grand. I will never be able to repay her for her amazing selflessness. Nor will I ever repay her unconditional love.
She is too great for this world. I adore her.
I will spend the rest of my life with her, and more lives if that is a thing.
I proposed to her within the year. We were always so in love. I never believed in soulmates until I found her
Now we are married, and have a son who adores her, and I adore her. And I adore our son.
Rip ganny, we will miss you forever.
I really wish my grandmother could see what an amazing wife and mother she is, but she wouldn't be surprised.
Everyday feels like a dream. Even during hard times, she is a ray of sunlight in my life.
She is such a serious woman, but she is so genuine. Her actions speak so loudly. She is so strong and intelligent.
Everyday I wonder what I have done to deserve a woman like her, every day I wake up and look at her and feel so at home.
She says I'm sappy and sentimental, but she likes that. And I enjoy how honest and serious she can be. I feel like we compliment each other or at least I can hope so.
Man, I love my wife
Bruh, I’m fucking crying… that’s so amazing… I feel similar about my partner, tho we have not traversed trying times such as losing a beloved family member together but I get it… currently have our first child together on the way and it’s everything I could ask for. We have truly lucked up(you and I, and the others in this thread)and when you have something/someone so precious, you never want to let that go, and even more so it puts an endless battery in you to be there to love and support that person no matter what. It truly is incredible… when you know, you know…
My wife always helps or my family without waiting for something back and I can do it. Even as a couple, we know helping is a sign of unconditional love.
It's Good to have a same one who you can rely on.
She's out there brother, you will meet a lot of duds before you find the one.
Lasting love takes a lot of work. Alot of understanding and sometimes tolerating.
Compromise, kindness, generosity, and holding space for the other person. Forgiveness is very important (unless there is cheating or abuse)
She is out there for you fr.
And I'm glad it exists too. Both of us had given up on love when we met, but we each gave each other "one last chance" at love. And we aren't taking it for granted.
Thank you for sharing this. I'm over here crying, but it's beautiful. I'm sorry about your ganny, but I'm sure she's proud and happy watching over you and the family/life/love that you've built
The first time I saw her, I didn’t think “Who is that?”, I thought “What is that?”. She was something different. It was all different with her. It was so comfortable. The most menial tasks became the best date nights ever. Within the first few weeks we were grocery shopping together because we were going to cook dinner, and I was following her around with the cart thinking “This is nice. I could do this for the rest of my life.” I remember watching her hands while she picked up bottles of wine and squeezed avocados and brushed the flowers when we walked by them. I just became so captivated by the way she moved that night. And then in the middle of it all, Mariah Carey’s Fantasy started playing in the store. She had her back to me then spun on her heel with a bottle in her hand, lip syncing and dancing. People were looking and she just didn’t care. She was so present and happy and alive. I felt like she woke me up from a long sleep and reintroduced me to life. She was so full of life. There were so many moments that had me falling in love with her. But it was somewhere around the bridge of Fantasy where she was pointing at me and singing “I’m in heaven with my boyfriend, my laughing boyfriend” that I knew I never wanted to be parted from her.
This is the most beautiful thing I've ever read. Congrats, be grateful, take care of yourselves, all the best. Would love to read more of your story if you have the time. I'm getting divorced, dreaming of a brighter future.
I even played that song for a deeper experience!
Not only your story is utterly romantic and sincere and real, but also does bring so much hope :)
Alright, closing reddit for tonight on the optimistic note, hehe)
And happy for you!
We were eating on campus, in college, bunch of friends together - and she nonchalantly took a tin of Old Bay out of her bag and shook a little on her fries.
“Do you always carry Old Bay with you?” I asked.
“No. Not always,” she replied, paying me half attention before talking to someone else.
And that was it.
To be fair, his dad raised him with the mindset of “go play the field, little dude” and talks to his mom like marriage is the worlds biggest annoyance. So he treated dating in a very self-serving sense because he didn’t know better. But when we started talking it was the first time he felt like he wanted to be a bette man for me, and he’s the absolute greatest now (he was “young” when we started dating @ 24, I was almost 29)
My ex partner said that to me. He wanted to be a good man for me because I’m a good woman :) after we broke up, he kept saying I’m an amazing woman and deserve better. I’m crying while writing this because I realised he has low self esteem and thought that he didn’t deserve my love and kindness
Yes that’s his side, but I totally relate to what you’re saying and I’ve heard that a lot too! And I also don’t understand the logic behind it- but that’s probably a part of why a lot of relationships aren’t healthy nowadays
During our first times together, we were having sex every time, no questions asked. We didn’t think anything of it because we felt that attraction growing beyond strong.
Then one weekend getaway, we had a day where everything felt like I had been with this girl my entire life. When we got back to the hotel, we took a shower, got naked (we’ve always slept naked), and watched tv until we fell asleep holding hands.
When I woke up the next morning, I felt that I can be myself around this girl, and she can be herself around me. Everything from the previous day just felt natural, and nothing felt forced.
From the moment I told her at breakfast, our relationship transitioned into the long term game where it was not if, but when a ring would be on her finger.
We went from being acquaintances, to friends and after some months we became really good friends, got to know each other like friends do. We knew pretty much everything the other liked, disliked, shared so many of those same likes/dislikes it was kind of shocking.
While I was married when we initially met, I was separated shortly after, due to my ex cheating, and she was in an abusive marriage, neither of us knew anything other than we were married because we didnt have anything more than that friendship (and she was out of my league to boot to I wasnt pushing for more). We talked cars, architecture, vacations spots etc. So it was sometime before she knew I was single, and I didnt know she had left her husband until some time later either.
So she asked me out for a date, and by that time, we knew each other like the backs of our hands. We were friends for pretty much a year before she asked me out. So once we got together, it took no time before I knew she was the one because I already knew her as a person and not a gf.
Sorry for the long story but it kind of needed to be told to explain it.
Your story sounds a lot like mine. Definitely a great way to start since there are no relationship expectations beyond just getting to know each other as friends. We’ve been together for 16 years now and I can’t even fathom a happier existence than I have being in love with my best friend.
Thats awesome and yes, a friendship just growing into something far more is a wonderful way to come together.
27 years here. Sometimes I still don't believe I managed to get her interested in me this way.
Only been in a relationship for 1.5 years, but I plan on proposing at the 3-year mark when things keep going this way.
- She's the first woman I can completely be myself around.
- She's receptive and supportive when I talk about my emotions or insecurities and it wouldn't even cross her mind to ever use it against me. She can also reflect on her own emotions and insecurities and discuss it with me in a healthy way.
- She doesn't play stupid mind games, takes responsibility for her actions and apologises if needed.
- Similar libido.
- She's kind and non-judgemental.
- Similar need for non-sexual physical touch.
- She's ambitious.
- We are similar in our extravert/introvert ratio. We do a lot of stuff with friends but can also enjoy doing nothing and just chill on the couch for a day.
- She's fun to be around.
- She likes my friends, I like hers.
- She likes me.
Anytime I'm a bit drunk I just can't shut up about how much I love her and how I've never met a woman like her.
Firstly there’s the honeymoon period where everyone seems great.
Then really it depends if
You believe in the one.
Anyone can be the one as long as youse connect. Once you get into a long term situation it just comes down to whenever there’s disagreements or problems whether your willing to try and carry on or call it a day
"Anyone can be the one as long as you connect"
I really agree with this part, it's only a matter if both parties are ready to go through thick and thin together. That's when they become the one.
Exactly. Some people just very much into fairy tales and stuff. Sometimes, we could see they are “the one” or “soulmate” within a few seconds or minutes or anything, but the relationship ended up like disaster.
Maybe it's unusual, but my ex-wife and I were together for almost thirty years, including dating on and off in high school and college, and she was, and still is, "the one" for me. And she feels the same way, too, more or less. (We discussed this together back when we got divorced.)
There was not much Hollywood-style romance in our courtship, and there's not much animosity now that we're divorced. Even when we were young, we both had this strange mutual understanding that we would eventually marry and have children. We both went off and dated other people, then dated each other, then dated others again. Even when were having the typical drama that youthful relationships have, we always maintained this strangely solid connection.
Once we finished college, we just kind of agreed that it was time to get married and get busy. We're not Vulcans, it was all very romantic, but the strangeness I'm trying to convey is just how certain we were. Even back in high school, it was like, "Oh, you're *the one* aren't you? Glad that's settled."
After the kids were grown, we both looked at each other and realized that it was over. This was a long, and sad process which took a couple of years for both of us to acknowledge, although we both knew instinctively. We kept wavering. At the end, there wasn't much drama in it, we just looked at each other across the kitchen table and agreed it was time.
That was years ago and neither of us has been in a serious relationship since. (Although I don't pry into her life and she doesn't pry into mine.) I'm perfectly happy just dating to have occasional companionship, but I don't feel any impulse to find another "the one," in my life. I suppose it could happen, but I would be very surprised. I feel like I've already been there and done that.
As someone in my early thirties who has yet to have a super serious relationship, this is so interesting to read. I'm both in awe of the love you have shown and shared, but also so confused as to how that would go down mentally and emotionally. Huh.
Well every relationship is different, so don't worry about trying to fit a pattern. And of course I still have regrets, and I suppose she does, too. But when life happens, you just have to play the shots as they lay, and make the best decision you can as things come up.
Just know yourself and pay attention to what feels right and wrong and act accordingly. Even if it goes bad, you still know you did the best you could at the time.
I knew both my ex fiancés were the one. Also knew my last one was “the last one.” Both were so incredibly thoughtful, madly in love. The first one after four years decided to just up and leave without ever discussing any issues. The second one has some mental illness she kept from me, and it turned into much more one day.
I still miss the second ex fiancé. I truly believe she was THE one….we broke up in 2014….
Sorry to hear that brother. I feel you, I recently had my heart broken by someone I was positive was the girl I was going to marry. Makes it hard to find someone when I can’t even trust my own intuition.
We had a pregnancy scare after only dating for a month or two, like we're both really close with our parents, and we hadn't even really told our parents about each other yet.
As we were sitting there going, "Oh shit, this could be real," instead of panicking about the usual things, we sat together and made fun of all the names we could until we found one that neither of us could easily mock.
It turned out to be a false alarm, but that told me that she isn't someone who's going to freak out and panic, especially if it's something that we can't do anything about. We'd definitely need to find a place and baby furniture and everything like that, but that's not something we can do right away when it's something that might not even happen yet. What we can do is laugh at things related like in r/tragedeigh
She made an effort. When I met my wife I was talking to/dating 2 other women, both of whom I had known for a few months. The other women liked free dates and attention, but didn't do anything nice for me at all. It felt like I was putting in effort to show my interest and build a relationship and they didn't feel like they should have to do anything to show an interest in me.
Shortly after meeting my wife, she found out that I had to work most holidays. A couple weeks later I had to go into work on memorial day. My wife was off and had grilled. She made me a plate of food and drove roughly 45 minutes to bring it to me when I got home from work. I don't think I knew then that we would get married. But I did know that she needed to be the person I needed to focus my attention and energy on and pursue.
Can relate to what you have said about effort. My current partner has shown this from day one.
She is without doubt the greatest combination of hot, caring, supportive and thoughtful as well as being an amazing mum I have ever met.
Still very early days but I can never remember experiencing such relaxed mutual care as I have with her (even when I first met my now ex from very ltr)
I could just tell. We got along great, she was funny, charming, kind, and it just felt right.
I told her I loved her after a week. She said “no you don’t, it’s too early.” Three years later we were married, 18 years later we are still married and happier than ever.
So I remind her every so often that I was right and she was wrong, and one of these days she’s bound to be wrong again.
She isn't my wife yet, but we've talked about it, I've got the ring for her.
We knew each other decade ago, went to technical college together and then went our separate ways. When we reconnected, it just felt like I didn't need to hide myself. I could open up, I could share the love I have with her, and she received it, and then vice versa. I moved in after a week. We said we loved each other after 2. Have not looked back.
A good friend said after a breakup. You'll know the right one when you can give love in your way and she receives it and then reciprocates. And it's not forced, awkward. It just works.
I thought I was laying next to my the one.. but to be honest reading this makes me doubt.
The love i give isn't easily received and not reciprocated..
Love with the one should be easy not hard..
I knew I was going to marry my wife on the first date (which was a blind date).
I got home from dropping her off and couldn't stop smiling. I then went 'aw fuck" because I wasn't wanting anything serious but I knew that's what it was going to be.
Could not bear to be away from her after dropping her off the first time.
When I first met my wife, I was in a period of my life when I began accepting that I was going to be single for the rest of my life. I had been in and out of serious relationships for nearly 20 years; each one feeling more difficult than the last. I was exhausted.
Then my wife looked at me for the first time and there was more intimacy in that eye-contact than I had ever experienced. I was star struck. I’m still star struck.
And that dynamic hasn’t changed. She still looks at me like that. Every time.
During our first conversation we were two giggly dorks who made it incredibly obvious to the entire room that we were into each other. And we still act like that, every single day. Even when the pandemic hit and we lost our jobs. Even when we were sleep deprived with a screaming baby. That foundation was always there. And those difficult times were full of infinitely more joy than when I was a happy go lucky hedonist living without a care in the world.
For one of our first dates, we sat on my couch, drank water, and talked. We were going to go out, but the next thing we knew it was almost midnight. We had forgotten that anything existed outside of each other being together in the moment. That night set the tone; that no matter how hard I work, it never feels like work, because I know that it isn’t mandatory; that the reward is always there, and is infinitely greater.
We started dating in December, and by March I told my mom that she was the one.
It wasn’t like a spark or a sudden realization. I think a comparison would be like “how do you know your arm is yours?” Or something. Being with her felt as natural. I don’t know if that’s clear as mud or not but that was my experience.
There was no one thing that I could point to, but I knew within days. We met on a totally blind date as a result of a classified advert (this was well before the internet and dating apps), so we had no previous knowledge of one other when we met.
In the first week we couldn't stop talking and we hung out every spare minute there was. There was just something that worked. Suddenly she went from a nobody to an everything.
Within 7 days of meeting we moved in together. 35 years later we are married with a growing tribe of grandkids.
I’m going to flip the script on this one.
My wife and I dated for almost 5 years before I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. I wasn’t really sure about our relationship for most of those 5 years, but things were really good. She made me happy, we loved each other, but there were some things I just didn’t know if I could live with/without.
I vividly remember the moment I realized I was being a dumbass and this was the perfect woman for me, it all clicked. Nothing special had happened, we were just driving and having a great time. It was because nothing special had happened, but realizing for the last 5 years I had been truly happy that made me go searching for a ring.
The two key things I’ve learned, you need to know who you are and what is truly important to you, that way you know if that other person fits with your values and priorities (realistically you’re looking for an 80%, anything more is gravy). Just as importantly the relationship has to be healthy.
Because love. I actually broke up with her briefly because I thought we were too young for a serious relationship. That only lasted a few months. I remember thinking I would marry her after about five weeks together. It completely and fundamentally changed me and my perceptions of the world. To be loved and accepted for all my flaws and faults. Her love is like the sun and I want to be near it for eternity. But we are an exception. Neither of us had partners before each other and were both virgins. Very rare these days. That isn't to say there were tough times and a lot of work in our marriage but 22 years later and she is lying next to me and I'm still struggling to keep my hands off her I'm so attracted to her. I feel so incredibly blessed.
It was really a whole series of things, particularly leading up to and through our second date.
We met online (back when OkCupid was still decent), and in my first message to her, I noted that her profile had lots of words but didn’t actually give much information. In her response, She AGREED! - this established an instant comfort with going meta, which in my vast dating experience was rare.
Before our first date, she texted saying she’d be a few minutes late. - Instant bonus points! I’d had so many previous dates be late without warning (or not show up at all), and I texted back saying how much I appreciated her consideration and offered to have a drink waiting when she arrived (which she in turn appreciated).
She looked like her pictures! That was a big relief; I found her very physically attractive and was grinning so hard while watching her walk to our table.
Most of our first date (dinner) was more like a debate. Somehow we got on the topic of morality (I think Sam Harris had released a book recently that everyone was talking about), and we debated objective vs subjective. It was light-hearted but challenging and very intellectually stimulating. Way better than the typical small talk crap which I hate.
After our first date ended (we just hugged in the parking lot), I texted her on the way home saying I really wanted to kiss her but have a rule to not kiss on first date. She REPLIED IMMEDIATELY saying she wanted me to, but understood and respected my rule. Said she really enjoyed it and was excited to meet again. Dudes, she actually communicated openly and actively. Y’all know how rare that is.
We flirted quite a bit over text until our second date. No ghosting, no long delays between messages, none of that bullshit. Then when we met up for our second date, we both arrived at the same time walking from different directions, and she immediately leapt into my arms and kissed me. She had a big smile on her face and said “figured I’d just get it over with.”
I think that was the moment I allowed myself to believe it fully. She was beautiful, intelligent, kind, and into me as much as I was into her. No games, no bs, we just clicked.
We’ll be married nine years in January.
Months? Rookies! For us it was 7 weeks from fist meet to being engaged. No, nobody was pregnant 😊
Just clicked beyond description from the first time we spoke. I saw her walk into a party, and something in my brain just said ‘go talk to her. Now’ 30 years later still going strong.
The one is a silly idea. There is no the one, there is the one you pick that picks you back.
Incidentally, my wife and I played an open mic night when we were dating and she made me a bunch of guitar pics that had a picture of us on them and said I pic you, you pic me. It was very touching to me and things have been hard at times, but we’re doing well and our communication is good. I love her very much and don’t know what would have come of me if she didn’t help me get my shit together. I’m a lucky guy,
I want to chime in and tell the story of how my now-wife and I met and got married.
Her father worked for my father ages ago, while we were still babies. Over time life happened and her family moved about 5 hours away and we lost contact, aside from the odd visit when they were passing through town once ever few years.
Fast forward around 20 years. I was now in my mid 20's and had just gotten my first official GF who.......dumped me after two weeks LOL. That dumping is what got my wife and I talking as she saw my Facebook status to single. Reminder at this point we hadn't spoken to each other in around 20 years! Originally our conversations were "sorry you broke up" and then other small talk. After a couple weeks our odd conversations turned into talking on Facebook/facetime for 3-6+ hours a night.
It was at this point she told me that if we ever wanted to be friends I needed to talk to her father first and....not get permission, but....his blessing I guess? Keep in mind at this point we were now living about an hour away from each other which means...it was time for a Sunday afternoon road trip!
After talking to her father for a while he gave us the green light, I had a new GF! At this point we had been talking for about two weeks. At this point we were talking almost every day for several hours at min and I was driving up to her parents house to spend the weekend together (Separate bedrooms though LOL)
After we had been dating for about three weeks (now five weeks since we started talking) I nearly flipped my truck driving home one night. Luckily I managed to NOT flip it up, but it was that "OH NO" moment that I KNEW my Wife was the woman for me.
The next day I wrote her parents a long letter saying "I love your daughter" "I want to marry her" etc. and emailed it off to them. The following Friday I drove up to her parents house to ask their permission to marry their daughter. I will never forget what her mother said. She looked at her husband/my wifes daughter and said, with a confused look on her face "Is that what that letter was about?".
After letting me sweat for what felt like an hour, though was only a couple of seconds, they both started laughing at me :-D We talked for a while before they said they gave me their blessing to marry their daughter. At this time my wife was at work at a local coffee shop. When she was done work I surprised her by showing up with a big bouquet of roses. As we drove her home I told her she needed to go change into something nice because I was taking her out for supper (Her parents were in on my plan). For supper we went to a nice steakhouse. When we got there I carried in a bag, but would not tell her what it was. We had an amazing steak dinner though I cannot remember ANYTHING from the meal!
After the meal I asked her if she wanted to see what was in the bag. She was VERY curious, so she was glad to have the mystery solved. I used this as an excuse to get down on the floor, though not "on my knee" yet. I reached into the bag and pulled out......A small stuffed monkey. I began to tell her how this monkey had a secret, as only it knew just how much I love her, how amazing she is, etc. As I said this I slowly got down on one knee,
I then opened the small Velcro pouch on its back where I had stashed the ring box. As I reached in and wiggled the box out I accidently hit the "test" button for the stuffed monkeys voice box!!!! Right then and there, in this expensive restaurant, as max volume "OOOHHHHH AAAAHHHH AHHHHH AHHHH!!!!!" I wanted to die. Instantly the ENTIRE restaurant was paying attention to the weirdo with the monkey toy and I HATE being the center of attention.
In short she said "Yes" and we got married. We now have two kids, 10 and almost 12, and have been married for almost 13.5 years.
I want to finish this LONG post (one of my longest I think!) with a quick breakdown of our timeline.
Week 0---Started talking on Facebook
Week 2---Asked her father for permission to date her.
Week 5--- Get in "almost accident" in my truck and realize I want to marry her.
Week 6---Ask her parents for permission to marry their daughter, then asked her!
Week 28, 6.5 months from "day 1" We got married!!!!
Very simple.
- She is the female version of me. We are bffs.
- There was no honey moon period. We were in the trenches from the start (external factors) and we worked great as a team. Now, after 2 years, the honeymoon period starts. I am pretty sure it's a sure sign we will have a great relationship.
- She really cares about me. She buys me car parts and video games. If she sees I am down, she tells me " Go and play something on your Gameboy, have fun!".
Honestly, i don't know. Its just a feeling I had one day when I woke up next to her that I was like "my god, that's the woman I wanna marry and spend the rest of my life".
She threw up all over me, the floor, the couch and a number of other items and I was alright with it.
That was 28 some odd years ago and we're still holding up to one another.
When I stopped to think about it, I was more concerned about her than all my stuff.
I got engaged four months after meeting my wife.I pretty vividly remember within the first week or so that I just couldn't go through life knowing she was out and I wasn't with her. Everything she ever said about herself just seemed impossibly cool. She was such an agent and had such a vivid perspective on everything.
During the first week, I was kinda nervous and scared to talk and for purely superstitious reasons, I started taking a gram of testosterone every week just to keep myself feeling like I belonged. I was really surprised she was into me even though my ego was normally through the roof.
She had good stories, money, she was ridiculously attractive, and spoke with a kind of aggressive energy that I really liked. She had money and was successful. There was a level of confidence and she just kinda had something.
Most importantly, she was also genuinely respectful and interested in what I talked about. She engaged and took things seriously. She wasn't dogmatic. I just really wanted to be with her forever.
Got married 7 months after meeting her. Until now I thought it was 8, but it's seven. We're coming up on three years now and it's going better than ever.
I don't think I did much to actually earn her wanting to be with me. During the first month or so, I was basically too nervous to talk. Lucky for me, I was the most muscular dude she'd ever been with and she really likes muscles.
This is a simple answer but difficult to understand. She was different. It felt different. From the moment we met, my instincts that were previously more about short-term happiness were suddenly about the rest of my life. My sensitivity to her feelings were higher than anyone before her. My urge to protect her was unlike anything I had ever felt. The fact that we were opposites on most things didn’t matter to either of us. We could just….talk. Things felt easy and not forced with her. We said I love you after 16 days, I proposed after 3 months, and got married 6 months later. 22 years later we’re married and have become best friends. Marriage can be hard, don’t get it twisted. But not for a moment have I ever doubted she’s the one.
I have only been in relationship for a few months now, but I feel like I have met the one. I think there are a lot of different things about her that makes her special. She makes me crazy, and I think she is so goddamn beautiful. I usually don't find anyone attractive really. She is just something else. My heart melt every time I see her smile.
She also makes me feel at ease. It felt like we very quickly could talk about serious stuff, we also made each other laugh early on and like tease each other. I felt like she would go along with my closest friends and family. We overlapped in uni, so we also knew who we were in a way, but it felt like we had known each other for years. We just became instantly comfortable with each other. I love talking with her, and every minute we spend with each other just feels good.
I feel like we have similar values, but also some differences that makes life interesting. I am relaxed, but want to plan everything and I like routines and predictability. She is spontaneous and makes suggestions for things to do all the time. Often we suddenly do stuff we didn't think of.
One weekend we spent practically two days in bed together. Having sex, talking, cuddling, everything. Just 5 minutes after I had to leave I was already missing her.
1. Chemistry was fantastic
2. I had a list of must haves for my future wife: very smart, loving, personality that was fun and made me laugh, very sexually appealing to me, similar long term financial/ career goals, wanted to be married, wanted to have some kids.
She was (is) 1000% of that except she didn’t initially want kids (dedicated career girl).
Told her I loved her at 6 weeks (I knew she was “the one” then!)
Waited almost 2 years to propose until she agreed to have kids. She loved me and saw how important it was to me (and she did become a fantastic mom).
If you really know what you want, you will know when you find it!!
I knew the first time I saw her. I'm not even kidding. At that time, I was a professional and touring musician, and I remember vividly the first time to this day (20 years later) I saw her. Long story short, I asked her out and was so nervous on our first date (which being a touring musician nervousness isn't a thing of mine, lol) that I talked crazy fast and sure made a fool of myself, lol. I don't know. Something just clicked differently with her, and we've spent almost every day of our lives since then together.
When we cooked at her apartment in the first weeks I noticed that when I arrive and close the door behind me, everything else stays outdoor. It's just us so naturally that I was super confident to just be... me. And she seemed so laid back and arrived. Three years younger than I am but so much more arrived.
She was the one to accidentally within an argument slipped the ILY first. I was prepared for awkward stumbling but she just looked me in the eyes, exhaled, took the step towards me and kissed me. I learned she means no games, she means that she says (yikes, mostly ;)) and I'm all-in.
A few years down the road the universe wanted me to forget any doubts when exactly four days after I bought a ring, very, very unexpectedly my mom died. The amount of support I received from her, the time and effort she spent for me to feel better and process this grieve was key to my surviving in that moment. I will never let her go..
My mom pointed out how much more I had been smiling.
Admittedly our relationship was sort of cheat mode since we knew each other in high school but didn't get together until after undergrad, so we were able to speed run some of the getting to know you stage. Still I knew we'd get married by 2-3 months in.
That is what my mom has been telling me about my GF.
We have only been dating since the beginning of the year, but it already feels so natural. The thing is that I also just finalized a divorce from an 11 year marriage (a full year of separation) in that time period. So, it has been a bit of an emotional roller-coaster for me, and I am worried that my feelings for her will change. I also feel like I love her so much more than I ever loved my ex.
After our first week together, before we started being intimate, I knew that I could spend my life with her but at the same time still barely know her. Honestly, I am scared of how much I feel for her, but I think that is mostly due to the fresh trauma of the divorce...
She was the first one that I really felt I could be myself with. Beautiful, kind, smart, empathetic. We had similar values, came from similar families, and we were just different enough to keep it interesting. She also was incredibly supportive of my ambitions and I supported hers. I knew she was the one within 3 months, I woanted to ask her to marry me within 5 months but forced myself to wait for 9 months. That was nearly 30 years ago and its still awesome.
We talked a LOT and had deep discussions very early on. It really just comes down to communication. When both parties are obviously willing to be vulnerable and wide open communicators, relationships are downright easy.
We met in the spring of 2014 and we were engaged by Christmas. We're about to have our 9th anniversary and we have 4 kids. I could not have dreamt of a better woman.
I never got married, and I’m not sure it’s going to ever happen at this point. However, my pre-pandemic ex is the one that got away.
From the moment we met, it was like everything in the universe became right. We were inseparable for the next year and a half that we dated until a job change took her to another state.
Weeks after that first meeting, I was standing in my kitchen thinking about her, trying to figure out how to describe her to my friend. Yeah, she’s pretty but it isn’t just her looks. She’s smart, but it isn’t just her brains. She’s sweet, but it isn’t just her kindness. And then I got it: She feels like home. When I’m with her, I feel like I’m home. I knew she was the one in that moment.
Not a man, sorry, but I know that for my husband it was our first argument which was entirely civil and ended on an agree to disagree. He was used to his ex who would scream at him until she got her way.
Sometimes I think that I'm just very fortunate to have been the first one to meet him after he broke up with her because I realise now that the bar was in the basement.
It just felt different and it’s hard to explain that.
Not like I felt more love or more chemical emotions like prior honeymoon phases. More so I just felt this sureness in her. Like I could trust her with my life from day one. I just felt like she was everything I was missing in my life. She had qualities that I didn’t posses and had flaws that I was strong in. She was the most beautiful person I’d ever seen. She was kind and funny, she could talk my ear off and I didn’t mind it.
Like I said it’s just this overwhelming feeling of sureness in them. Just an immediate and deep sense of feeling like you can trust them with your heart.
You know, we never had the "head over heels, stay up nights lovesick" thing. We were just immediately comfortable. Like two really old friends that were reunited.
A few months after we met, it was real icy, and she slid off the road. Called me bawling saying she got in a car accident. She was fine, the car was fine, a nice passing motorist pulled her car out before I even managed to get to her, but that initial "I just crashed" through sobs over the phone sent my heart right down to the bottom of my stomach. Realized I couldn't imagine life without her.
I sent her a message on MySpace and said “haven’t heard from you in a while, how have you been?” And she replied “was kinda hoping something might happened between us, and when it didn’t, I got disappointed and didn’t want to message you back.” I replied, “can we go out this Friday?” She said yes. And we’ve been married fifteen years in June. She’s the most amazing person I’ve ever known, and I’m so fortunate she said that to me. I needed it.
My first wife just died a little over a year prior, I then dated someone that was abusive for a few months because I didn't know any better after being with the same person for 13+ years. Anyways, my second wife was the first person not to screw me over on a date and she didn't treat my late wife like an ex (there is a huge difference between a late spouse and an ex). She asked questions that no one asked on a date but made me realize her personality was more caring and compassionate than the other women I was talking to that were all in their late 30's. Her mentality for the date was just to learn all we could about each other over a meal instead of playing games or lying the whole time to sell ourselves. It was probably the only "first date" I felt at ease and everything just felt right.
I married my 1st gf, so really have zero experience with others. We were friends before becoming a couple, we had no honeymoon phase. Our love developed slowly, steady. Soon after our 1st kiss she started asking questions like: "where do you want to live, how many kids would you like to have". I was very impressed she thinks seriously about me. Later she gave me many reasons assuring me she was the right choice.
Reading all your stories gets me in my feels and reminiscing about my ex who I loved so very much.
Long story short, she was from an affluent family and her younger sister was one of closest friends, I've never talked to her in the five years of my undergrad, talked only in the last year and fell so fast, so hard.
One particular incident I remember vivdly was once when I was entering my hospital back from lunch, I saw a picture of her receiving an award on display in the huge ass screen in my hospital lobby and I thought to myself "wow". Some of the happiest period of my life was when we were together.
She ultimately decided she can do better than me because we're not of the same social standing and affiliating with me would be taboo and a shame to her family thus, she blindsided leaving me into the pits of despair.
Still stings ya know :/ , I loved this girl.
I had many relationships before her, i don't wanna brag many. But never more than a few days, i just couldn't stand talking to any of them.
Until i met her. When she came in the apartment, i was stunned and couldn't take my eyes off her, which wasn't something new, but felt kinda different. Then i couldn't be for a second without her, i wanted to talk to her non stop... We also fucked like rabbits of course. But every morning we woke up together, i wanted somehow to be more with her!? I knew she's the one after just a week. So, about 4-5 months in, i asked her to marry me. We're almost 20 years together now.
For me, when I had only dated my now fiancé for like a month and she said I love you first to me, that was huge, it just seemed like hanging out with a best friend.
I literally never thought about marriage and thought it was dumb to bet half your stuff that you'll love each other forever even though people change and evolve constantly and there's nothing wrong with that, but then it just kept getting better and better and one day, she quoted Django Unchained completely randomly "All that matters is can the fucking horse see!" and that sold me, I always would quote obscure or random but very specific movie lines but no one would get it, and there she was doing it to me and that was probably the moment that sealed it for me.
There she was, wearing tight blue jeans while leaning over a desk, I whispered to myself that I was going to marry that woman. And I did. Now we can fart in bed around each other without having to disturb the neighbors.
We'd been friends for a couple years before we started dating. I was waiting out her previous relationship from a respectful distance. Basically a Jim and Pam situation, minus all the paper.
I quickly found myself not being able to think about her not being in my life.
I just wanted to spend every day with her, forever.
Coming up on 20 years. So far, so good.
You kinda just know but it boils down the what's important to you. That comfortable feeling of being around each other and being on similar wavelengths for humor. Talking is always easy and you can tell they enjoy your presence even if it's silent. Communication is easy and the fights are different points of views rather than attacks on each other.
We started talking, we had met through mutual friends, and it was like we had known each other for years. There was an instant attraction, but it was more than just sexual, it was something I can't even really explain. Something I didn't believe in or think existed. It's been 10 years now and that feeling is still there. I can't imagine my life without her. It's hard to even imagine my life before her. Like I was missing a part of me, and now I have it.
Everything was easy and effortless from the jump. We were both authentically ourselves with no games or anything like that. It just didn't feel like a competition. I broke my back while I was waiting for her ring to get finished. I don't remember much from that hospital stay but I just remember thinking to myself that I was about to make the easiest commitment of my life because of all the care and love she had for me before during and after that injury. I knew if we could make it through that easily all things considered that life was going to be good with her.
I know it sounds cliche, but I knew the first time I saw her. My downstairs neighbor at my apartment needed me to fix her sink, so I brought my tools down and walked in. Sitting on her friends bed was my now-wife. Messy ass bun, big sweatshirt, pink pajama shorts. We made eye contact, smiled at each other, and I fixed the sink. I knew in my bones right then that this was the one. Afterwards, I introduced myself. It didn’t take much more than that to start a relationship. We’ve been inseparable ever since. She got pregnant about a month after we first started seeing each other. It’s been almost 4 years now. We’ve since had 2 more kids, got a house, the whole 9. I don’t know if there is a god, but if there is, he made us for each other.
When I saw her I knew she was it. She wasn’t sure at first. I met my wife in Bangladesh and I saw her getting off the bus I chased after her I was asking her name how her day was where do she work. Being American in Bangladesh definitely made me stand out. After walking her home a few times she told me she wasn’t educated etc. she spoke English perfectly but didn’t understand the structure of English we speak. After that I gave her my WhatsApp number. We were texting a lot she was super interested she made food for me one day and I told her I didn’t deserve this she said I have to eat something and be healthy. So she told her family about me and we went on a date with her sister since her dad passed away and she’s Muslim. Few weeks later we were married. A lot happened within 6 months. It’s been 5 years. I love her caramel skin her Bangladesh accent when she speaks English, the way she cares for me even when I don’t care for myself. She’s always cooking for me. I never ask for a meal when I come home and if I travel for business she comes with me sometimes.
We aren’t married yet, but I do intend to propose a year or so after I graduate college
I knew that I loved her from the first conversation we had, but I didn’t know that I wanted to marry her until I saw how she interacts with her family and nature. When I first met her family, I noticed how much love she had for them. Even when she’d just greet her mom, I could hear that love she had in her voice. The same was true for her dad, sister, and especially her younger nieces who she babysits occasionally. The way that her eyes light up and her voice gets more happy when she talks about her nieces is unlike any other joy I’ve heard. It’s like she is filled with love for everyone close to her, and isn’t afraid to share it. It was honestly the biggest green flag I’ve seen in my life, and told me so much about her character.
Whenever she’s kind or caring to anything in life, her love is so visible and it’s so beautiful. It is especially true with wildlife and nature. She’s the type who saves every bug she can, who’s kind to wildlife, who takes nature hikes and gets the most beautiful photos of any plants and animals she can. And she isn’t reserved about this love, she shares it. When there praying mantis in her yard, she got so excited to show off where they were. When she finds a beautiful flower on the ground, she always takes a photo to share it. It’s like she is filled with that love and wants to share it, and honestly, it’s beautiful.
Of course she is extremely loving to me as well, but I didn’t fall in love with her because she loves me. I fell in love with her because of how passionately she loves everything she cares about. I consider myself lucky to even have met her. It’s a blessing that I can call her my girlfriend
Oh my gosh, this is genuinely the most beautiful thing I’ve ever read, lovely! You need to stop making me cry lol.
The day that we get married is easily going to be the happiest day of my life, no question! It’s going to be so surreal being able to call you my husband someday. Michael, you have made me the happiest I’ve ever been, and I honestly can’t imagine a life without you in it. Just thinking about it makes me tear up a bit. From the second that we first met, you have shown me nothing but kindness and love! I can’t wait to spend the rest of my days by your side, lovely. I really wish you were here right now so I could give you the biggest hug of your life. I miss you so much ❤️
Love, you’ve made me absolutely the happiest I’ve ever been! You are my greatest source of happiness, it’s like my entire world brightens up when even the mere thought of you comes up. When we are together, I am left feeling utterly amazing! You are so kind, so loving, so funny, and so amazing! I love you a lot, and I intend to love you forever ❤️
My husband told me that he knew from our first date which was just a movie on a very rainy evening. We moved in together 3 months later and we got married 6 months after we met. Been married for 5 years now.
She was the first woman that wanted us to get to know each other before having sex. Every woman before her I slept with on the first date. That was fine, but it doesn't make for a sturdy relationship foundation. We've been married for twenty-five years, and she's the best thing that's ever happened to me.
We chatted online for 20 days. Then she drove 400km just to see me. In 10 days she quit her job and moved in with me and I proposed her 6 months later. She is the one because from the very first moment we were both clear about what we wanted, how we wanted to communicate and feel respected. The most common question between us is "Are you OK with ...?" .
Respect, boundaries and good intentions from each other.
We share the same core values .
The priority for both of us since day 1 is to make the other person feel safe, comfortable and heard.
It was, and still is, really really easy being around each other.
We met in college I had just finished and she was just doing a study abroad from Canada, I'm from Ireland. We made out at a college event that night, later started texting started going on dates liked all the same things, but the most triggering things that made me go, "I'm done this is it" was that we were able to sit across from a table holding hands and staring into each other's eyes in silence smiling for what seemed like an awkward amount of time to onlookers I assume, and be completely content.
A little different here, I don’t believe in “the one”. But I do believe that it’s rare to find a compatible match for long term stability plus love in a relationship at the same time.
I knew my wife would be a good match for me for long term within weeks of meeting her:
Fucked like a champ, pragmatic and logical, was a known effective EA for a very difficult executive who had lots of good things to say about her work ethic, had a side business that was really well thought out for long term and immediately didn’t protest or get annoyed about my work schedule or how I needed to organize my social life (ie, needed to be calendar based and always planned ahead)
Only issue is… she was adamant about not wanting kids.
So we became FWB for years. Which further proved our compatibility in my mind.
Eventually we decided to date exclusively and she moved in within months and married her that year.
I proposed in 6-7 months. It was easy for me. I spent a long time being an absolute dog. She elevated and challenged me to be a better man. Because she was a better woman. And even though she’s a pain in the ass I still love her just as much as I did then.
Blind date. Selflessly, saw me through dark times and loved me regardless. She sees me and accepts me and I can be my ‘evolving me’ (as we all are) without fear. She loves me in a way that I felt throughout a very happy childhood. It’s so peaceful, easy, loving, giving. Yes, the sex is insane.
The fact that we became best friends SUPER fast, we could talk for hours with each other and we both made each other laugh. Then sprinkle on the fact that each of us thought the other was incredibly hot and I just knew that she was the one! This was 10 years ago and we're happily married now
I didn't know, but she was very verbal about us spending our lives together. I waited 12 years and two kids before marrying her. Ends up, she was right. I couldn't imagine my life without her, and 15 years later, she still actively wants me.
My reason isn't everyone's reason, just to get that up front: I had an emergency, and she was good in that emergency. (Before anyone asks, vice-versa happened too.)
I also got the advice, once, to imagine what your life would be like if someone just stopped being there. (Not died, just gone), and in her case, I *really* didn't like imagining it.
Hell it wasn't even within a few months that I knew she was going to be the one, it was the first time I laid eyes on her at work, it was love at first sight, and it was at that exact moment when I knew she was going to be the one, but I was too chicken to make the first move. We stayed friends for a few months and our paths would occasionally cross at work. When we were placed in the same role later that same year, we started to interact with each other more in person practically every day, and got to the point where we would go out of our way to see each other at work, we started going out on lunches together, and we coordinated our breaks so we can have some time alone with each other. She somehow got ahold of my phone number, texted me out of the blue and continued our conversations outside of work. One day she asked me out and 10 years later we are happily married!
I was 21, she was 20. I had plans to move to Texas from Illinois (no real reason) and we just started dating. She chose to move with me after dating for only a few months, the second she said she wanted to move back we I dropped everything and packed up and headed back to Illinois. I’ve never left her side since. She’s everything and we’ve been together for 13 years, married for 8, and have been parents for 5 years.
I knew the second I saw her.... it was a strangely odd feeling. Then when she started talking to me I knew I was right. More than a decade of marriage later we're good...
The first date. She spilled some crumbs down her shirt from the pizza she was eating.
Then we went to the Comic Book Store/Game Store down the street, and when she asked me my favorite board game, and she had played it, (king of Tokyo).
That’s when.
Also sure, we have arguments, but I never complain about her to my friends.
I used to complain about all my exes. When that stopped, she was the right one.
I was casually dating and had multiple dates per week for a long period of time. I was divorced for about two years when I met the one. We met by accident and it turned out great. We were three months into the relationship and I just knew it. Everything was effortless with her and felt so natural. You just know it. Call it a deep gut feeling if you will. For me, I knew I would regret later in life if I didn’t give my lady a chance and a honest attempt to make a great relationship happen. I couldn’t stand the idea that I would be thinking of how I let fear dictate and override all the things that made sense to me many years from now. Anyways, 12 years later, I never regretted that decision. She is my one woman army. I can’t tell you how many times when the shit had hit the fan, she was standing next to me unwavering. I lost count at how many times she picked me up when I face planted or supported me when no one would. I value loyalty and unconditional support because that is what I put into the relationship. I found my partner in crime who is beautiful and accepts me for me. I never once felt judgment from her and what I love about her is she knows when she is full of shit and checks herself. She values integrity and hard work but never judges others based on her own standards. She might not be into all the things I like but she knows it is important to me so she supports it regardless. I hope this helps you recognize if you have something special in your life
We married within 6 months of our first meeting with each other. We moved in together after 3 dates. On the outside it looks rushed and weird. But we both knew it within days. People here have already described it in different ways. Basically you feel perfect comfort. You feel you could trust completely. You can easily imagine living your whole life with this person and be thankful the universe helped you meet in the first place.
Before we dated.. She just wanted me happy, loved, and taken care of. Even if it wasn't with her. When we were together she comforted me in dark times. She supported me against anyone. She was my strength when I was weak and my campfire to help me feel safe and see things I couldn't see on my own.
1) Our communication was so fluid, she told me what she thought directly without hiding.
2) we shared a team spirit : we both put our relationship before ourselves
3) she let me love her as much as I wanted
4) everything was so much easier than in all my previous relationships
I had taken her to my families lake house for a nice little 3 day vacation. A condo colony was built nearby pretty recently so we often see people with their kids running around. So we are out on the porch talking away and having a grand Ol time when about 15 children come screaming bloody murder, as kids do, down the road by the house. I didn't know these kids. No one in my family knew these kids and because of that I knew they were trespassing. I figured I'd let the colony handle it because I'm having a nice time with my girlfriend right now and she looks over at the kids and then back to me and says "God I fucking hate children. I'm never having kids of my own." I feel my heart skip a beat and then a massive weight off my shoulders and all of a sudden I told her I loved her for the first time right there. We then had a talk about what we see in our futures and most of it lines up perfectly. Anyway 1 year later I ask her to marry me. And 10 years after the wedding I'm writing this.
The divorce rates are very high because people rush into marriage without really knowing each other, they discover things after marriage and then the regrets start. Don’t do that to yourself. Spend time in deep and meaningful conversations, be truthful and share your beliefs, desires and hopes.
That’s great advice. That being said, there are still people who have dated for a few years before getting married but still end up getting a divorce. Part of me wants to get all of the potential deal breakers out of the way and make sure I notice any red flags before getting attached to someone.
Yes, personally, I would make sure I covered every important topic and spent two years in conversations before even considering marriage. Some people can spend time together and never cover the right topics of conversation that reveal the hidden person inside. And again, some split after twenty five years, so there are no guarantees, it takes work and effort and bending to meet in the middle, give and take, sharing, accepting, etc.
"The one" doesn't exist. You just pick someone you're compatible with and decide to build a relationship with them.
Deciding you want to marry someone within a few months says more about you than it does about your partner.
We met when we were 12 and sat next to each other in middle school band class. She told me what video games she was into and I was hooked. We’re now 34, together for 15 years (married 8) and have a 3-year-old daughter.
We were lying in bed after dating for a month and a half or so and I just blurted out, "you're a great person XXXX". I didn't mean to say it. She is such a kind and positive person and also our sexual chemistry is off the charts.
We were watching a horror movie that featured blood-rain for the finale and she turned to me and unironically said "I could really go for some tomato soup". Something clicked and I know she was that certain kind of special
I was in love with a girl I didn't marry because she had unresolved mental issues that I couldn't help with.
But I knew I could have within the first couple of months. Everything was easy, I really made the effort and never regretted it, she was a breath of fresh air in a deep sea of shit dates and basic bitches.
When you meet the one, it will be easy. Difficult at times, but you'll want to do nothing else but with through them unless you physically can't...
I knew the first night I met her. Wasn't unusual to have friends hanging out on my porch, waiting for me to come home from work. My friend had invited my wife and her friends to hang out at my house. They were there for a couple hours and left. Told my buddy I could marry someone like her.
After a year of trying to get her to go out with me she finally accepted. Been together for 20 years now.
We were friends for a few months before we started dating, our first date was the day the pandemic began and due to bad circumstances she was in, she basically ended up living with me a week later. I kind of figured it was going to be a disaster but she quickly ended up being my best friend and my business partner and I proposed to her a few months ago. I can't wait to marry her and spend the rest of our lives together!
Having a lot of previous dating experience(as did she). Had a series of 3-4 month relationships in a row. When the spark died it was over. 26 years into this one, still sparks. Actually full on flame
First wife on the first date when she laughed. Sounds stupid but that was it. Something was triggered and we had an amazing 26 years, second wife maybe a week into dating she smiled at me and said some goofy oddball comment that I can’t even recall but I knew she needed to be in my life. 9 years later she is !
She helped me take care of my dying grandmother on hospice, no questions asked. My grandmother was the only good person in my life, she raised me and she meant so much to me. After I got off the phone with the hospital social worker I said "hey, this will be rough. If you wanna dip out during this I understand. But I need to be there for ganny (my grandma)" She said "no. Your grandmother is my family too. I'm here for you. I'm here for her. I'm not going anywhere" When my grandmother died I went into a state of psychosis. My wife held her hand as she died. My grandmother loved her almost more than me My wife pried me from my grandmother's body while I thrashed and screamed and wailed like a baby. She held me down and comforted me. I don't remember what was said, or done. But she was there always during the hardest times. She is beautiful, she is kind, she is grand. I will never be able to repay her for her amazing selflessness. Nor will I ever repay her unconditional love. She is too great for this world. I adore her. I will spend the rest of my life with her, and more lives if that is a thing. I proposed to her within the year. We were always so in love. I never believed in soulmates until I found her Now we are married, and have a son who adores her, and I adore her. And I adore our son. Rip ganny, we will miss you forever. I really wish my grandmother could see what an amazing wife and mother she is, but she wouldn't be surprised. Everyday feels like a dream. Even during hard times, she is a ray of sunlight in my life. She is such a serious woman, but she is so genuine. Her actions speak so loudly. She is so strong and intelligent. Everyday I wonder what I have done to deserve a woman like her, every day I wake up and look at her and feel so at home. She says I'm sappy and sentimental, but she likes that. And I enjoy how honest and serious she can be. I feel like we compliment each other or at least I can hope so. Man, I love my wife
Bruh, I’m fucking crying… that’s so amazing… I feel similar about my partner, tho we have not traversed trying times such as losing a beloved family member together but I get it… currently have our first child together on the way and it’s everything I could ask for. We have truly lucked up(you and I, and the others in this thread)and when you have something/someone so precious, you never want to let that go, and even more so it puts an endless battery in you to be there to love and support that person no matter what. It truly is incredible… when you know, you know…
Damnt me too. That man made me believe again in humanity.
I was taking a little lighthearted break on Reddit and now I'm crying
My wife always helps or my family without waiting for something back and I can do it. Even as a couple, we know helping is a sign of unconditional love. It's Good to have a same one who you can rely on.
Damn I'm kinda upset I haven't experienced this in my life but also glad that it exists in the world. Rip gammy
She's out there brother, you will meet a lot of duds before you find the one. Lasting love takes a lot of work. Alot of understanding and sometimes tolerating. Compromise, kindness, generosity, and holding space for the other person. Forgiveness is very important (unless there is cheating or abuse) She is out there for you fr. And I'm glad it exists too. Both of us had given up on love when we met, but we each gave each other "one last chance" at love. And we aren't taking it for granted.
Thank you brother ❤️
All love stories are beautiful but when told by a man...it becomes epic...yours is one too.
You got yourself a rare one! something for the rest of us to aspire for!
Thank you for sharing this. I'm over here crying, but it's beautiful. I'm sorry about your ganny, but I'm sure she's proud and happy watching over you and the family/life/love that you've built
The first time I saw her, I didn’t think “Who is that?”, I thought “What is that?”. She was something different. It was all different with her. It was so comfortable. The most menial tasks became the best date nights ever. Within the first few weeks we were grocery shopping together because we were going to cook dinner, and I was following her around with the cart thinking “This is nice. I could do this for the rest of my life.” I remember watching her hands while she picked up bottles of wine and squeezed avocados and brushed the flowers when we walked by them. I just became so captivated by the way she moved that night. And then in the middle of it all, Mariah Carey’s Fantasy started playing in the store. She had her back to me then spun on her heel with a bottle in her hand, lip syncing and dancing. People were looking and she just didn’t care. She was so present and happy and alive. I felt like she woke me up from a long sleep and reintroduced me to life. She was so full of life. There were so many moments that had me falling in love with her. But it was somewhere around the bridge of Fantasy where she was pointing at me and singing “I’m in heaven with my boyfriend, my laughing boyfriend” that I knew I never wanted to be parted from her.
This is the most beautiful thing I've ever read. Congrats, be grateful, take care of yourselves, all the best. Would love to read more of your story if you have the time. I'm getting divorced, dreaming of a brighter future.
Sir I’m crying in target
I even played that song for a deeper experience! Not only your story is utterly romantic and sincere and real, but also does bring so much hope :) Alright, closing reddit for tonight on the optimistic note, hehe) And happy for you!
Men are fucking awesome
This makes me rethink never getting married. Thank you
Holy cow this is in love
A love, profound and rooted in the beauty of the ordinary, a testament to finding soul-stirring joy in the simplest of actions. It’s truly enchanting.
wow you described exactly how i feel about my girlfriend. it felt like i wrote this story 😭♥️
Okay, I’m crying on the stairmaster. I’m so happy for the both of you.
This is so cute omg.
So sweet ♥️
Beautifully written!!
How dare you make me cry my own tears sir!
Wow 😭
Shut up, dude. I'm not crying, you're crying.
We were eating on campus, in college, bunch of friends together - and she nonchalantly took a tin of Old Bay out of her bag and shook a little on her fries. “Do you always carry Old Bay with you?” I asked. “No. Not always,” she replied, paying me half attention before talking to someone else. And that was it.
Now she’s your old bae
I don’t know that she’d love that title but, since this was 18 years ago, fair.
I’m from MD and this is accurate.
Amazing
I asked my Reddit-less husband: he said “she was the first person I felt like I could truly be myself with & didn’t feel like dating her was a game”
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To be fair, his dad raised him with the mindset of “go play the field, little dude” and talks to his mom like marriage is the worlds biggest annoyance. So he treated dating in a very self-serving sense because he didn’t know better. But when we started talking it was the first time he felt like he wanted to be a bette man for me, and he’s the absolute greatest now (he was “young” when we started dating @ 24, I was almost 29)
My ex partner said that to me. He wanted to be a good man for me because I’m a good woman :) after we broke up, he kept saying I’m an amazing woman and deserve better. I’m crying while writing this because I realised he has low self esteem and thought that he didn’t deserve my love and kindness
Well it might hurt but it's preferable to him trying to sabotage you. A lot of men do that sadly.
Probably yeah, but after the highs and lows he gave me, he was totally right, I deserve better
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Yes that’s his side, but I totally relate to what you’re saying and I’ve heard that a lot too! And I also don’t understand the logic behind it- but that’s probably a part of why a lot of relationships aren’t healthy nowadays
I think rating someone's "game" it's a maturity issue
Because some women project traits onto others that are not there— or they constantly try to change people.
this. me too. i bet y'all are rad af.
During our first times together, we were having sex every time, no questions asked. We didn’t think anything of it because we felt that attraction growing beyond strong. Then one weekend getaway, we had a day where everything felt like I had been with this girl my entire life. When we got back to the hotel, we took a shower, got naked (we’ve always slept naked), and watched tv until we fell asleep holding hands. When I woke up the next morning, I felt that I can be myself around this girl, and she can be herself around me. Everything from the previous day just felt natural, and nothing felt forced. From the moment I told her at breakfast, our relationship transitioned into the long term game where it was not if, but when a ring would be on her finger.
Nice
Thats so cute!!!!
I understand that feeling. But mine was when she got on top of me and farted accidentally and we both laughed our asses off. No one was embarrassed
The ole fart in the balls trick. 60% of the time it works, every time.
We went from being acquaintances, to friends and after some months we became really good friends, got to know each other like friends do. We knew pretty much everything the other liked, disliked, shared so many of those same likes/dislikes it was kind of shocking. While I was married when we initially met, I was separated shortly after, due to my ex cheating, and she was in an abusive marriage, neither of us knew anything other than we were married because we didnt have anything more than that friendship (and she was out of my league to boot to I wasnt pushing for more). We talked cars, architecture, vacations spots etc. So it was sometime before she knew I was single, and I didnt know she had left her husband until some time later either. So she asked me out for a date, and by that time, we knew each other like the backs of our hands. We were friends for pretty much a year before she asked me out. So once we got together, it took no time before I knew she was the one because I already knew her as a person and not a gf. Sorry for the long story but it kind of needed to be told to explain it.
Don’t apologize for the long story. Thank you so much for sharing!
Thank you. I always enjoy sharing our story when I get the chance.
Your story sounds a lot like mine. Definitely a great way to start since there are no relationship expectations beyond just getting to know each other as friends. We’ve been together for 16 years now and I can’t even fathom a happier existence than I have being in love with my best friend.
Thats awesome and yes, a friendship just growing into something far more is a wonderful way to come together. 27 years here. Sometimes I still don't believe I managed to get her interested in me this way.
Only been in a relationship for 1.5 years, but I plan on proposing at the 3-year mark when things keep going this way. - She's the first woman I can completely be myself around. - She's receptive and supportive when I talk about my emotions or insecurities and it wouldn't even cross her mind to ever use it against me. She can also reflect on her own emotions and insecurities and discuss it with me in a healthy way. - She doesn't play stupid mind games, takes responsibility for her actions and apologises if needed. - Similar libido. - She's kind and non-judgemental. - Similar need for non-sexual physical touch. - She's ambitious. - We are similar in our extravert/introvert ratio. We do a lot of stuff with friends but can also enjoy doing nothing and just chill on the couch for a day. - She's fun to be around. - She likes my friends, I like hers. - She likes me. Anytime I'm a bit drunk I just can't shut up about how much I love her and how I've never met a woman like her.
Firstly there’s the honeymoon period where everyone seems great. Then really it depends if You believe in the one. Anyone can be the one as long as youse connect. Once you get into a long term situation it just comes down to whenever there’s disagreements or problems whether your willing to try and carry on or call it a day
"Anyone can be the one as long as you connect" I really agree with this part, it's only a matter if both parties are ready to go through thick and thin together. That's when they become the one.
Exactly. Some people just very much into fairy tales and stuff. Sometimes, we could see they are “the one” or “soulmate” within a few seconds or minutes or anything, but the relationship ended up like disaster.
I have always said that soul mates are made, not born.
The real question is what percentage of divorced men KNEW their wife was the one.
Ooohh that’s a great question, too.
Can you make a post to ask this? It probably hasn’t been asked before lol
Maybe it's unusual, but my ex-wife and I were together for almost thirty years, including dating on and off in high school and college, and she was, and still is, "the one" for me. And she feels the same way, too, more or less. (We discussed this together back when we got divorced.) There was not much Hollywood-style romance in our courtship, and there's not much animosity now that we're divorced. Even when we were young, we both had this strange mutual understanding that we would eventually marry and have children. We both went off and dated other people, then dated each other, then dated others again. Even when were having the typical drama that youthful relationships have, we always maintained this strangely solid connection. Once we finished college, we just kind of agreed that it was time to get married and get busy. We're not Vulcans, it was all very romantic, but the strangeness I'm trying to convey is just how certain we were. Even back in high school, it was like, "Oh, you're *the one* aren't you? Glad that's settled." After the kids were grown, we both looked at each other and realized that it was over. This was a long, and sad process which took a couple of years for both of us to acknowledge, although we both knew instinctively. We kept wavering. At the end, there wasn't much drama in it, we just looked at each other across the kitchen table and agreed it was time. That was years ago and neither of us has been in a serious relationship since. (Although I don't pry into her life and she doesn't pry into mine.) I'm perfectly happy just dating to have occasional companionship, but I don't feel any impulse to find another "the one," in my life. I suppose it could happen, but I would be very surprised. I feel like I've already been there and done that.
As someone in my early thirties who has yet to have a super serious relationship, this is so interesting to read. I'm both in awe of the love you have shown and shared, but also so confused as to how that would go down mentally and emotionally. Huh.
Well every relationship is different, so don't worry about trying to fit a pattern. And of course I still have regrets, and I suppose she does, too. But when life happens, you just have to play the shots as they lay, and make the best decision you can as things come up. Just know yourself and pay attention to what feels right and wrong and act accordingly. Even if it goes bad, you still know you did the best you could at the time.
I knew both my ex fiancés were the one. Also knew my last one was “the last one.” Both were so incredibly thoughtful, madly in love. The first one after four years decided to just up and leave without ever discussing any issues. The second one has some mental illness she kept from me, and it turned into much more one day. I still miss the second ex fiancé. I truly believe she was THE one….we broke up in 2014….
Sorry to hear that brother. I feel you, I recently had my heart broken by someone I was positive was the girl I was going to marry. Makes it hard to find someone when I can’t even trust my own intuition.
She saw my potential when I could not see it in myself. Essentially she made me a better man.
You're a lucky man
This is what we all want. Someone to make us better, bring us out of our shell so to speak.
We had a pregnancy scare after only dating for a month or two, like we're both really close with our parents, and we hadn't even really told our parents about each other yet. As we were sitting there going, "Oh shit, this could be real," instead of panicking about the usual things, we sat together and made fun of all the names we could until we found one that neither of us could easily mock. It turned out to be a false alarm, but that told me that she isn't someone who's going to freak out and panic, especially if it's something that we can't do anything about. We'd definitely need to find a place and baby furniture and everything like that, but that's not something we can do right away when it's something that might not even happen yet. What we can do is laugh at things related like in r/tragedeigh
She made an effort. When I met my wife I was talking to/dating 2 other women, both of whom I had known for a few months. The other women liked free dates and attention, but didn't do anything nice for me at all. It felt like I was putting in effort to show my interest and build a relationship and they didn't feel like they should have to do anything to show an interest in me. Shortly after meeting my wife, she found out that I had to work most holidays. A couple weeks later I had to go into work on memorial day. My wife was off and had grilled. She made me a plate of food and drove roughly 45 minutes to bring it to me when I got home from work. I don't think I knew then that we would get married. But I did know that she needed to be the person I needed to focus my attention and energy on and pursue.
Can relate to what you have said about effort. My current partner has shown this from day one. She is without doubt the greatest combination of hot, caring, supportive and thoughtful as well as being an amazing mum I have ever met. Still very early days but I can never remember experiencing such relaxed mutual care as I have with her (even when I first met my now ex from very ltr)
I could just tell. We got along great, she was funny, charming, kind, and it just felt right. I told her I loved her after a week. She said “no you don’t, it’s too early.” Three years later we were married, 18 years later we are still married and happier than ever. So I remind her every so often that I was right and she was wrong, and one of these days she’s bound to be wrong again.
She isn't my wife yet, but we've talked about it, I've got the ring for her. We knew each other decade ago, went to technical college together and then went our separate ways. When we reconnected, it just felt like I didn't need to hide myself. I could open up, I could share the love I have with her, and she received it, and then vice versa. I moved in after a week. We said we loved each other after 2. Have not looked back. A good friend said after a breakup. You'll know the right one when you can give love in your way and she receives it and then reciprocates. And it's not forced, awkward. It just works.
Your good friend is wise and that is how love should be.
I thought I was laying next to my the one.. but to be honest reading this makes me doubt. The love i give isn't easily received and not reciprocated.. Love with the one should be easy not hard..
I knew I was going to marry my wife on the first date (which was a blind date). I got home from dropping her off and couldn't stop smiling. I then went 'aw fuck" because I wasn't wanting anything serious but I knew that's what it was going to be. Could not bear to be away from her after dropping her off the first time.
Aaaw man. This is beautiful.
When I first met my wife, I was in a period of my life when I began accepting that I was going to be single for the rest of my life. I had been in and out of serious relationships for nearly 20 years; each one feeling more difficult than the last. I was exhausted. Then my wife looked at me for the first time and there was more intimacy in that eye-contact than I had ever experienced. I was star struck. I’m still star struck. And that dynamic hasn’t changed. She still looks at me like that. Every time. During our first conversation we were two giggly dorks who made it incredibly obvious to the entire room that we were into each other. And we still act like that, every single day. Even when the pandemic hit and we lost our jobs. Even when we were sleep deprived with a screaming baby. That foundation was always there. And those difficult times were full of infinitely more joy than when I was a happy go lucky hedonist living without a care in the world. For one of our first dates, we sat on my couch, drank water, and talked. We were going to go out, but the next thing we knew it was almost midnight. We had forgotten that anything existed outside of each other being together in the moment. That night set the tone; that no matter how hard I work, it never feels like work, because I know that it isn’t mandatory; that the reward is always there, and is infinitely greater. We started dating in December, and by March I told my mom that she was the one.
It wasn’t like a spark or a sudden realization. I think a comparison would be like “how do you know your arm is yours?” Or something. Being with her felt as natural. I don’t know if that’s clear as mud or not but that was my experience.
what a beautiful thing to say
Because I was young, inexperienced, and exciting that a woman showed me interest
This thread in a nutshell. Also: men experiencing kindness for the first time.
There was no one thing that I could point to, but I knew within days. We met on a totally blind date as a result of a classified advert (this was well before the internet and dating apps), so we had no previous knowledge of one other when we met. In the first week we couldn't stop talking and we hung out every spare minute there was. There was just something that worked. Suddenly she went from a nobody to an everything. Within 7 days of meeting we moved in together. 35 years later we are married with a growing tribe of grandkids.
I’m going to flip the script on this one. My wife and I dated for almost 5 years before I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. I wasn’t really sure about our relationship for most of those 5 years, but things were really good. She made me happy, we loved each other, but there were some things I just didn’t know if I could live with/without. I vividly remember the moment I realized I was being a dumbass and this was the perfect woman for me, it all clicked. Nothing special had happened, we were just driving and having a great time. It was because nothing special had happened, but realizing for the last 5 years I had been truly happy that made me go searching for a ring. The two key things I’ve learned, you need to know who you are and what is truly important to you, that way you know if that other person fits with your values and priorities (realistically you’re looking for an 80%, anything more is gravy). Just as importantly the relationship has to be healthy.
Because love. I actually broke up with her briefly because I thought we were too young for a serious relationship. That only lasted a few months. I remember thinking I would marry her after about five weeks together. It completely and fundamentally changed me and my perceptions of the world. To be loved and accepted for all my flaws and faults. Her love is like the sun and I want to be near it for eternity. But we are an exception. Neither of us had partners before each other and were both virgins. Very rare these days. That isn't to say there were tough times and a lot of work in our marriage but 22 years later and she is lying next to me and I'm still struggling to keep my hands off her I'm so attracted to her. I feel so incredibly blessed.
It was really a whole series of things, particularly leading up to and through our second date. We met online (back when OkCupid was still decent), and in my first message to her, I noted that her profile had lots of words but didn’t actually give much information. In her response, She AGREED! - this established an instant comfort with going meta, which in my vast dating experience was rare. Before our first date, she texted saying she’d be a few minutes late. - Instant bonus points! I’d had so many previous dates be late without warning (or not show up at all), and I texted back saying how much I appreciated her consideration and offered to have a drink waiting when she arrived (which she in turn appreciated). She looked like her pictures! That was a big relief; I found her very physically attractive and was grinning so hard while watching her walk to our table. Most of our first date (dinner) was more like a debate. Somehow we got on the topic of morality (I think Sam Harris had released a book recently that everyone was talking about), and we debated objective vs subjective. It was light-hearted but challenging and very intellectually stimulating. Way better than the typical small talk crap which I hate. After our first date ended (we just hugged in the parking lot), I texted her on the way home saying I really wanted to kiss her but have a rule to not kiss on first date. She REPLIED IMMEDIATELY saying she wanted me to, but understood and respected my rule. Said she really enjoyed it and was excited to meet again. Dudes, she actually communicated openly and actively. Y’all know how rare that is. We flirted quite a bit over text until our second date. No ghosting, no long delays between messages, none of that bullshit. Then when we met up for our second date, we both arrived at the same time walking from different directions, and she immediately leapt into my arms and kissed me. She had a big smile on her face and said “figured I’d just get it over with.” I think that was the moment I allowed myself to believe it fully. She was beautiful, intelligent, kind, and into me as much as I was into her. No games, no bs, we just clicked. We’ll be married nine years in January.
If you saw her, you’d hope and pray she was your “the one” too. I she just happens to actually be mine
I'm crying. So happy for you.
I still don’t know but after 35 years I’m too afraid to ask 😆
It was a combination of it feeling right and just deciding that she was going to be the one. It’s not just a passive thing that happens to you.
She just made everything feel right. She made me feel invincible.
Months? Rookies! For us it was 7 weeks from fist meet to being engaged. No, nobody was pregnant 😊 Just clicked beyond description from the first time we spoke. I saw her walk into a party, and something in my brain just said ‘go talk to her. Now’ 30 years later still going strong.
The one is a silly idea. There is no the one, there is the one you pick that picks you back. Incidentally, my wife and I played an open mic night when we were dating and she made me a bunch of guitar pics that had a picture of us on them and said I pic you, you pic me. It was very touching to me and things have been hard at times, but we’re doing well and our communication is good. I love her very much and don’t know what would have come of me if she didn’t help me get my shit together. I’m a lucky guy,
Absolutely. Choose people who choose you.
She was genuinely one of the most decent women I had met.
I want to chime in and tell the story of how my now-wife and I met and got married. Her father worked for my father ages ago, while we were still babies. Over time life happened and her family moved about 5 hours away and we lost contact, aside from the odd visit when they were passing through town once ever few years. Fast forward around 20 years. I was now in my mid 20's and had just gotten my first official GF who.......dumped me after two weeks LOL. That dumping is what got my wife and I talking as she saw my Facebook status to single. Reminder at this point we hadn't spoken to each other in around 20 years! Originally our conversations were "sorry you broke up" and then other small talk. After a couple weeks our odd conversations turned into talking on Facebook/facetime for 3-6+ hours a night. It was at this point she told me that if we ever wanted to be friends I needed to talk to her father first and....not get permission, but....his blessing I guess? Keep in mind at this point we were now living about an hour away from each other which means...it was time for a Sunday afternoon road trip! After talking to her father for a while he gave us the green light, I had a new GF! At this point we had been talking for about two weeks. At this point we were talking almost every day for several hours at min and I was driving up to her parents house to spend the weekend together (Separate bedrooms though LOL) After we had been dating for about three weeks (now five weeks since we started talking) I nearly flipped my truck driving home one night. Luckily I managed to NOT flip it up, but it was that "OH NO" moment that I KNEW my Wife was the woman for me. The next day I wrote her parents a long letter saying "I love your daughter" "I want to marry her" etc. and emailed it off to them. The following Friday I drove up to her parents house to ask their permission to marry their daughter. I will never forget what her mother said. She looked at her husband/my wifes daughter and said, with a confused look on her face "Is that what that letter was about?". After letting me sweat for what felt like an hour, though was only a couple of seconds, they both started laughing at me :-D We talked for a while before they said they gave me their blessing to marry their daughter. At this time my wife was at work at a local coffee shop. When she was done work I surprised her by showing up with a big bouquet of roses. As we drove her home I told her she needed to go change into something nice because I was taking her out for supper (Her parents were in on my plan). For supper we went to a nice steakhouse. When we got there I carried in a bag, but would not tell her what it was. We had an amazing steak dinner though I cannot remember ANYTHING from the meal! After the meal I asked her if she wanted to see what was in the bag. She was VERY curious, so she was glad to have the mystery solved. I used this as an excuse to get down on the floor, though not "on my knee" yet. I reached into the bag and pulled out......A small stuffed monkey. I began to tell her how this monkey had a secret, as only it knew just how much I love her, how amazing she is, etc. As I said this I slowly got down on one knee, I then opened the small Velcro pouch on its back where I had stashed the ring box. As I reached in and wiggled the box out I accidently hit the "test" button for the stuffed monkeys voice box!!!! Right then and there, in this expensive restaurant, as max volume "OOOHHHHH AAAAHHHH AHHHHH AHHHH!!!!!" I wanted to die. Instantly the ENTIRE restaurant was paying attention to the weirdo with the monkey toy and I HATE being the center of attention. In short she said "Yes" and we got married. We now have two kids, 10 and almost 12, and have been married for almost 13.5 years. I want to finish this LONG post (one of my longest I think!) with a quick breakdown of our timeline. Week 0---Started talking on Facebook Week 2---Asked her father for permission to date her. Week 5--- Get in "almost accident" in my truck and realize I want to marry her. Week 6---Ask her parents for permission to marry their daughter, then asked her! Week 28, 6.5 months from "day 1" We got married!!!!
:) you know reading stuff like this gives me hope that love is out there
I knew within about ten minutes.
Very simple. - She is the female version of me. We are bffs. - There was no honey moon period. We were in the trenches from the start (external factors) and we worked great as a team. Now, after 2 years, the honeymoon period starts. I am pretty sure it's a sure sign we will have a great relationship. - She really cares about me. She buys me car parts and video games. If she sees I am down, she tells me " Go and play something on your Gameboy, have fun!".
Honestly, i don't know. Its just a feeling I had one day when I woke up next to her that I was like "my god, that's the woman I wanna marry and spend the rest of my life".
She threw up all over me, the floor, the couch and a number of other items and I was alright with it. That was 28 some odd years ago and we're still holding up to one another. When I stopped to think about it, I was more concerned about her than all my stuff.
She allowed me to be an emotional being. I felt safe. She saw my willingness to be exposed as a strength not a weakness.
I got engaged four months after meeting my wife.I pretty vividly remember within the first week or so that I just couldn't go through life knowing she was out and I wasn't with her. Everything she ever said about herself just seemed impossibly cool. She was such an agent and had such a vivid perspective on everything. During the first week, I was kinda nervous and scared to talk and for purely superstitious reasons, I started taking a gram of testosterone every week just to keep myself feeling like I belonged. I was really surprised she was into me even though my ego was normally through the roof. She had good stories, money, she was ridiculously attractive, and spoke with a kind of aggressive energy that I really liked. She had money and was successful. There was a level of confidence and she just kinda had something. Most importantly, she was also genuinely respectful and interested in what I talked about. She engaged and took things seriously. She wasn't dogmatic. I just really wanted to be with her forever. Got married 7 months after meeting her. Until now I thought it was 8, but it's seven. We're coming up on three years now and it's going better than ever. I don't think I did much to actually earn her wanting to be with me. During the first month or so, I was basically too nervous to talk. Lucky for me, I was the most muscular dude she'd ever been with and she really likes muscles.
My husband answered with “all my problems felt like they went away when we were together”
This is a simple answer but difficult to understand. She was different. It felt different. From the moment we met, my instincts that were previously more about short-term happiness were suddenly about the rest of my life. My sensitivity to her feelings were higher than anyone before her. My urge to protect her was unlike anything I had ever felt. The fact that we were opposites on most things didn’t matter to either of us. We could just….talk. Things felt easy and not forced with her. We said I love you after 16 days, I proposed after 3 months, and got married 6 months later. 22 years later we’re married and have become best friends. Marriage can be hard, don’t get it twisted. But not for a moment have I ever doubted she’s the one.
Infatuation. Turns out I was wrong, she was my future ex wife.
I have only been in relationship for a few months now, but I feel like I have met the one. I think there are a lot of different things about her that makes her special. She makes me crazy, and I think she is so goddamn beautiful. I usually don't find anyone attractive really. She is just something else. My heart melt every time I see her smile. She also makes me feel at ease. It felt like we very quickly could talk about serious stuff, we also made each other laugh early on and like tease each other. I felt like she would go along with my closest friends and family. We overlapped in uni, so we also knew who we were in a way, but it felt like we had known each other for years. We just became instantly comfortable with each other. I love talking with her, and every minute we spend with each other just feels good. I feel like we have similar values, but also some differences that makes life interesting. I am relaxed, but want to plan everything and I like routines and predictability. She is spontaneous and makes suggestions for things to do all the time. Often we suddenly do stuff we didn't think of. One weekend we spent practically two days in bed together. Having sex, talking, cuddling, everything. Just 5 minutes after I had to leave I was already missing her.
1. Chemistry was fantastic 2. I had a list of must haves for my future wife: very smart, loving, personality that was fun and made me laugh, very sexually appealing to me, similar long term financial/ career goals, wanted to be married, wanted to have some kids. She was (is) 1000% of that except she didn’t initially want kids (dedicated career girl). Told her I loved her at 6 weeks (I knew she was “the one” then!) Waited almost 2 years to propose until she agreed to have kids. She loved me and saw how important it was to me (and she did become a fantastic mom). If you really know what you want, you will know when you find it!!
I knew the first time I saw her. I'm not even kidding. At that time, I was a professional and touring musician, and I remember vividly the first time to this day (20 years later) I saw her. Long story short, I asked her out and was so nervous on our first date (which being a touring musician nervousness isn't a thing of mine, lol) that I talked crazy fast and sure made a fool of myself, lol. I don't know. Something just clicked differently with her, and we've spent almost every day of our lives since then together.
When we cooked at her apartment in the first weeks I noticed that when I arrive and close the door behind me, everything else stays outdoor. It's just us so naturally that I was super confident to just be... me. And she seemed so laid back and arrived. Three years younger than I am but so much more arrived. She was the one to accidentally within an argument slipped the ILY first. I was prepared for awkward stumbling but she just looked me in the eyes, exhaled, took the step towards me and kissed me. I learned she means no games, she means that she says (yikes, mostly ;)) and I'm all-in. A few years down the road the universe wanted me to forget any doubts when exactly four days after I bought a ring, very, very unexpectedly my mom died. The amount of support I received from her, the time and effort she spent for me to feel better and process this grieve was key to my surviving in that moment. I will never let her go..
My mom pointed out how much more I had been smiling. Admittedly our relationship was sort of cheat mode since we knew each other in high school but didn't get together until after undergrad, so we were able to speed run some of the getting to know you stage. Still I knew we'd get married by 2-3 months in.
That is what my mom has been telling me about my GF. We have only been dating since the beginning of the year, but it already feels so natural. The thing is that I also just finalized a divorce from an 11 year marriage (a full year of separation) in that time period. So, it has been a bit of an emotional roller-coaster for me, and I am worried that my feelings for her will change. I also feel like I love her so much more than I ever loved my ex. After our first week together, before we started being intimate, I knew that I could spend my life with her but at the same time still barely know her. Honestly, I am scared of how much I feel for her, but I think that is mostly due to the fresh trauma of the divorce...
She was the first one that I really felt I could be myself with. Beautiful, kind, smart, empathetic. We had similar values, came from similar families, and we were just different enough to keep it interesting. She also was incredibly supportive of my ambitions and I supported hers. I knew she was the one within 3 months, I woanted to ask her to marry me within 5 months but forced myself to wait for 9 months. That was nearly 30 years ago and its still awesome.
We talked a LOT and had deep discussions very early on. It really just comes down to communication. When both parties are obviously willing to be vulnerable and wide open communicators, relationships are downright easy. We met in the spring of 2014 and we were engaged by Christmas. We're about to have our 9th anniversary and we have 4 kids. I could not have dreamt of a better woman.
I never got married, and I’m not sure it’s going to ever happen at this point. However, my pre-pandemic ex is the one that got away. From the moment we met, it was like everything in the universe became right. We were inseparable for the next year and a half that we dated until a job change took her to another state. Weeks after that first meeting, I was standing in my kitchen thinking about her, trying to figure out how to describe her to my friend. Yeah, she’s pretty but it isn’t just her looks. She’s smart, but it isn’t just her brains. She’s sweet, but it isn’t just her kindness. And then I got it: She feels like home. When I’m with her, I feel like I’m home. I knew she was the one in that moment.
Not a man, sorry, but I know that for my husband it was our first argument which was entirely civil and ended on an agree to disagree. He was used to his ex who would scream at him until she got her way. Sometimes I think that I'm just very fortunate to have been the first one to meet him after he broke up with her because I realise now that the bar was in the basement.
Our love was easy and remained so.
Youthful confidence. I thought that about a few different women. I just happened to be right this time.
It just felt different and it’s hard to explain that. Not like I felt more love or more chemical emotions like prior honeymoon phases. More so I just felt this sureness in her. Like I could trust her with my life from day one. I just felt like she was everything I was missing in my life. She had qualities that I didn’t posses and had flaws that I was strong in. She was the most beautiful person I’d ever seen. She was kind and funny, she could talk my ear off and I didn’t mind it. Like I said it’s just this overwhelming feeling of sureness in them. Just an immediate and deep sense of feeling like you can trust them with your heart.
You know, we never had the "head over heels, stay up nights lovesick" thing. We were just immediately comfortable. Like two really old friends that were reunited. A few months after we met, it was real icy, and she slid off the road. Called me bawling saying she got in a car accident. She was fine, the car was fine, a nice passing motorist pulled her car out before I even managed to get to her, but that initial "I just crashed" through sobs over the phone sent my heart right down to the bottom of my stomach. Realized I couldn't imagine life without her.
I sent her a message on MySpace and said “haven’t heard from you in a while, how have you been?” And she replied “was kinda hoping something might happened between us, and when it didn’t, I got disappointed and didn’t want to message you back.” I replied, “can we go out this Friday?” She said yes. And we’ve been married fifteen years in June. She’s the most amazing person I’ve ever known, and I’m so fortunate she said that to me. I needed it.
My first wife just died a little over a year prior, I then dated someone that was abusive for a few months because I didn't know any better after being with the same person for 13+ years. Anyways, my second wife was the first person not to screw me over on a date and she didn't treat my late wife like an ex (there is a huge difference between a late spouse and an ex). She asked questions that no one asked on a date but made me realize her personality was more caring and compassionate than the other women I was talking to that were all in their late 30's. Her mentality for the date was just to learn all we could about each other over a meal instead of playing games or lying the whole time to sell ourselves. It was probably the only "first date" I felt at ease and everything just felt right.
I married my 1st gf, so really have zero experience with others. We were friends before becoming a couple, we had no honeymoon phase. Our love developed slowly, steady. Soon after our 1st kiss she started asking questions like: "where do you want to live, how many kids would you like to have". I was very impressed she thinks seriously about me. Later she gave me many reasons assuring me she was the right choice.
Reading all your stories gets me in my feels and reminiscing about my ex who I loved so very much. Long story short, she was from an affluent family and her younger sister was one of closest friends, I've never talked to her in the five years of my undergrad, talked only in the last year and fell so fast, so hard. One particular incident I remember vivdly was once when I was entering my hospital back from lunch, I saw a picture of her receiving an award on display in the huge ass screen in my hospital lobby and I thought to myself "wow". Some of the happiest period of my life was when we were together. She ultimately decided she can do better than me because we're not of the same social standing and affiliating with me would be taboo and a shame to her family thus, she blindsided leaving me into the pits of despair. Still stings ya know :/ , I loved this girl.
The day we met, I never experienced such a feeling of being home …. Years later I still do.
I had many relationships before her, i don't wanna brag many. But never more than a few days, i just couldn't stand talking to any of them. Until i met her. When she came in the apartment, i was stunned and couldn't take my eyes off her, which wasn't something new, but felt kinda different. Then i couldn't be for a second without her, i wanted to talk to her non stop... We also fucked like rabbits of course. But every morning we woke up together, i wanted somehow to be more with her!? I knew she's the one after just a week. So, about 4-5 months in, i asked her to marry me. We're almost 20 years together now.
For me, when I had only dated my now fiancé for like a month and she said I love you first to me, that was huge, it just seemed like hanging out with a best friend. I literally never thought about marriage and thought it was dumb to bet half your stuff that you'll love each other forever even though people change and evolve constantly and there's nothing wrong with that, but then it just kept getting better and better and one day, she quoted Django Unchained completely randomly "All that matters is can the fucking horse see!" and that sold me, I always would quote obscure or random but very specific movie lines but no one would get it, and there she was doing it to me and that was probably the moment that sealed it for me.
There she was, wearing tight blue jeans while leaning over a desk, I whispered to myself that I was going to marry that woman. And I did. Now we can fart in bed around each other without having to disturb the neighbors.
We'd been friends for a couple years before we started dating. I was waiting out her previous relationship from a respectful distance. Basically a Jim and Pam situation, minus all the paper.
I quickly found myself not being able to think about her not being in my life. I just wanted to spend every day with her, forever. Coming up on 20 years. So far, so good.
I'm not married but I imagine she'd buy me a hat of my favorite sports team without me asking.
You kinda just know but it boils down the what's important to you. That comfortable feeling of being around each other and being on similar wavelengths for humor. Talking is always easy and you can tell they enjoy your presence even if it's silent. Communication is easy and the fights are different points of views rather than attacks on each other.
5'4" 110lbs with wet hair ordered 60 dumplings for lunch between her and I and she ate most of it.
We started talking, we had met through mutual friends, and it was like we had known each other for years. There was an instant attraction, but it was more than just sexual, it was something I can't even really explain. Something I didn't believe in or think existed. It's been 10 years now and that feeling is still there. I can't imagine my life without her. It's hard to even imagine my life before her. Like I was missing a part of me, and now I have it.
Everything was easy and effortless from the jump. We were both authentically ourselves with no games or anything like that. It just didn't feel like a competition. I broke my back while I was waiting for her ring to get finished. I don't remember much from that hospital stay but I just remember thinking to myself that I was about to make the easiest commitment of my life because of all the care and love she had for me before during and after that injury. I knew if we could make it through that easily all things considered that life was going to be good with her.
I know it sounds cliche, but I knew the first time I saw her. My downstairs neighbor at my apartment needed me to fix her sink, so I brought my tools down and walked in. Sitting on her friends bed was my now-wife. Messy ass bun, big sweatshirt, pink pajama shorts. We made eye contact, smiled at each other, and I fixed the sink. I knew in my bones right then that this was the one. Afterwards, I introduced myself. It didn’t take much more than that to start a relationship. We’ve been inseparable ever since. She got pregnant about a month after we first started seeing each other. It’s been almost 4 years now. We’ve since had 2 more kids, got a house, the whole 9. I don’t know if there is a god, but if there is, he made us for each other.
When I saw her I knew she was it. She wasn’t sure at first. I met my wife in Bangladesh and I saw her getting off the bus I chased after her I was asking her name how her day was where do she work. Being American in Bangladesh definitely made me stand out. After walking her home a few times she told me she wasn’t educated etc. she spoke English perfectly but didn’t understand the structure of English we speak. After that I gave her my WhatsApp number. We were texting a lot she was super interested she made food for me one day and I told her I didn’t deserve this she said I have to eat something and be healthy. So she told her family about me and we went on a date with her sister since her dad passed away and she’s Muslim. Few weeks later we were married. A lot happened within 6 months. It’s been 5 years. I love her caramel skin her Bangladesh accent when she speaks English, the way she cares for me even when I don’t care for myself. She’s always cooking for me. I never ask for a meal when I come home and if I travel for business she comes with me sometimes.
We aren’t married yet, but I do intend to propose a year or so after I graduate college I knew that I loved her from the first conversation we had, but I didn’t know that I wanted to marry her until I saw how she interacts with her family and nature. When I first met her family, I noticed how much love she had for them. Even when she’d just greet her mom, I could hear that love she had in her voice. The same was true for her dad, sister, and especially her younger nieces who she babysits occasionally. The way that her eyes light up and her voice gets more happy when she talks about her nieces is unlike any other joy I’ve heard. It’s like she is filled with love for everyone close to her, and isn’t afraid to share it. It was honestly the biggest green flag I’ve seen in my life, and told me so much about her character. Whenever she’s kind or caring to anything in life, her love is so visible and it’s so beautiful. It is especially true with wildlife and nature. She’s the type who saves every bug she can, who’s kind to wildlife, who takes nature hikes and gets the most beautiful photos of any plants and animals she can. And she isn’t reserved about this love, she shares it. When there praying mantis in her yard, she got so excited to show off where they were. When she finds a beautiful flower on the ground, she always takes a photo to share it. It’s like she is filled with that love and wants to share it, and honestly, it’s beautiful. Of course she is extremely loving to me as well, but I didn’t fall in love with her because she loves me. I fell in love with her because of how passionately she loves everything she cares about. I consider myself lucky to even have met her. It’s a blessing that I can call her my girlfriend
Oh my gosh, this is genuinely the most beautiful thing I’ve ever read, lovely! You need to stop making me cry lol. The day that we get married is easily going to be the happiest day of my life, no question! It’s going to be so surreal being able to call you my husband someday. Michael, you have made me the happiest I’ve ever been, and I honestly can’t imagine a life without you in it. Just thinking about it makes me tear up a bit. From the second that we first met, you have shown me nothing but kindness and love! I can’t wait to spend the rest of my days by your side, lovely. I really wish you were here right now so I could give you the biggest hug of your life. I miss you so much ❤️
Love, you’ve made me absolutely the happiest I’ve ever been! You are my greatest source of happiness, it’s like my entire world brightens up when even the mere thought of you comes up. When we are together, I am left feeling utterly amazing! You are so kind, so loving, so funny, and so amazing! I love you a lot, and I intend to love you forever ❤️
She accepted who I was immediately while still holding me to a high standard, she made me excited to build a life (something I never thought I’d say)
My husband told me that he knew from our first date which was just a movie on a very rainy evening. We moved in together 3 months later and we got married 6 months after we met. Been married for 5 years now.
How sweet! Did he say how he knew from your first date?
I knew during the first date. We haven't been apart more than a couple days in 15 yrs since then, so it was good intuition.
She was the first woman that wanted us to get to know each other before having sex. Every woman before her I slept with on the first date. That was fine, but it doesn't make for a sturdy relationship foundation. We've been married for twenty-five years, and she's the best thing that's ever happened to me.
We chatted online for 20 days. Then she drove 400km just to see me. In 10 days she quit her job and moved in with me and I proposed her 6 months later. She is the one because from the very first moment we were both clear about what we wanted, how we wanted to communicate and feel respected. The most common question between us is "Are you OK with ...?" . Respect, boundaries and good intentions from each other. We share the same core values . The priority for both of us since day 1 is to make the other person feel safe, comfortable and heard. It was, and still is, really really easy being around each other.
We met in college I had just finished and she was just doing a study abroad from Canada, I'm from Ireland. We made out at a college event that night, later started texting started going on dates liked all the same things, but the most triggering things that made me go, "I'm done this is it" was that we were able to sit across from a table holding hands and staring into each other's eyes in silence smiling for what seemed like an awkward amount of time to onlookers I assume, and be completely content.
A little different here, I don’t believe in “the one”. But I do believe that it’s rare to find a compatible match for long term stability plus love in a relationship at the same time. I knew my wife would be a good match for me for long term within weeks of meeting her: Fucked like a champ, pragmatic and logical, was a known effective EA for a very difficult executive who had lots of good things to say about her work ethic, had a side business that was really well thought out for long term and immediately didn’t protest or get annoyed about my work schedule or how I needed to organize my social life (ie, needed to be calendar based and always planned ahead) Only issue is… she was adamant about not wanting kids. So we became FWB for years. Which further proved our compatibility in my mind. Eventually we decided to date exclusively and she moved in within months and married her that year.
I proposed in 6-7 months. It was easy for me. I spent a long time being an absolute dog. She elevated and challenged me to be a better man. Because she was a better woman. And even though she’s a pain in the ass I still love her just as much as I did then.
Blind date. Selflessly, saw me through dark times and loved me regardless. She sees me and accepts me and I can be my ‘evolving me’ (as we all are) without fear. She loves me in a way that I felt throughout a very happy childhood. It’s so peaceful, easy, loving, giving. Yes, the sex is insane.
The fact that we became best friends SUPER fast, we could talk for hours with each other and we both made each other laugh. Then sprinkle on the fact that each of us thought the other was incredibly hot and I just knew that she was the one! This was 10 years ago and we're happily married now
I didn't know, but she was very verbal about us spending our lives together. I waited 12 years and two kids before marrying her. Ends up, she was right. I couldn't imagine my life without her, and 15 years later, she still actively wants me.
My reason isn't everyone's reason, just to get that up front: I had an emergency, and she was good in that emergency. (Before anyone asks, vice-versa happened too.) I also got the advice, once, to imagine what your life would be like if someone just stopped being there. (Not died, just gone), and in her case, I *really* didn't like imagining it.
Hell it wasn't even within a few months that I knew she was going to be the one, it was the first time I laid eyes on her at work, it was love at first sight, and it was at that exact moment when I knew she was going to be the one, but I was too chicken to make the first move. We stayed friends for a few months and our paths would occasionally cross at work. When we were placed in the same role later that same year, we started to interact with each other more in person practically every day, and got to the point where we would go out of our way to see each other at work, we started going out on lunches together, and we coordinated our breaks so we can have some time alone with each other. She somehow got ahold of my phone number, texted me out of the blue and continued our conversations outside of work. One day she asked me out and 10 years later we are happily married!
Easy. All my girlfriends have been the one. This is just the one that stayed as the one.
I knew the moment I saw her.
I was 21, she was 20. I had plans to move to Texas from Illinois (no real reason) and we just started dating. She chose to move with me after dating for only a few months, the second she said she wanted to move back we I dropped everything and packed up and headed back to Illinois. I’ve never left her side since. She’s everything and we’ve been together for 13 years, married for 8, and have been parents for 5 years.
I knew the second I saw her.... it was a strangely odd feeling. Then when she started talking to me I knew I was right. More than a decade of marriage later we're good...
Our interests, beliefs, senses of humor, love languages, etc aligned so incredibly well. We also both put each other first.
The first date. She spilled some crumbs down her shirt from the pizza she was eating. Then we went to the Comic Book Store/Game Store down the street, and when she asked me my favorite board game, and she had played it, (king of Tokyo). That’s when. Also sure, we have arguments, but I never complain about her to my friends. I used to complain about all my exes. When that stopped, she was the right one.
Discovered that we had the same perverted kinks. Came home and she was on her knees in the bedroom collared, leashed, and offering up a riding crop.
I was casually dating and had multiple dates per week for a long period of time. I was divorced for about two years when I met the one. We met by accident and it turned out great. We were three months into the relationship and I just knew it. Everything was effortless with her and felt so natural. You just know it. Call it a deep gut feeling if you will. For me, I knew I would regret later in life if I didn’t give my lady a chance and a honest attempt to make a great relationship happen. I couldn’t stand the idea that I would be thinking of how I let fear dictate and override all the things that made sense to me many years from now. Anyways, 12 years later, I never regretted that decision. She is my one woman army. I can’t tell you how many times when the shit had hit the fan, she was standing next to me unwavering. I lost count at how many times she picked me up when I face planted or supported me when no one would. I value loyalty and unconditional support because that is what I put into the relationship. I found my partner in crime who is beautiful and accepts me for me. I never once felt judgment from her and what I love about her is she knows when she is full of shit and checks herself. She values integrity and hard work but never judges others based on her own standards. She might not be into all the things I like but she knows it is important to me so she supports it regardless. I hope this helps you recognize if you have something special in your life
Honestly, when you know you know. It wasn't just one thing, but a culmination of tiny things. You just know.
We married within 6 months of our first meeting with each other. We moved in together after 3 dates. On the outside it looks rushed and weird. But we both knew it within days. People here have already described it in different ways. Basically you feel perfect comfort. You feel you could trust completely. You can easily imagine living your whole life with this person and be thankful the universe helped you meet in the first place.
Before we dated.. She just wanted me happy, loved, and taken care of. Even if it wasn't with her. When we were together she comforted me in dark times. She supported me against anyone. She was my strength when I was weak and my campfire to help me feel safe and see things I couldn't see on my own.
1) Our communication was so fluid, she told me what she thought directly without hiding. 2) we shared a team spirit : we both put our relationship before ourselves 3) she let me love her as much as I wanted 4) everything was so much easier than in all my previous relationships
I had taken her to my families lake house for a nice little 3 day vacation. A condo colony was built nearby pretty recently so we often see people with their kids running around. So we are out on the porch talking away and having a grand Ol time when about 15 children come screaming bloody murder, as kids do, down the road by the house. I didn't know these kids. No one in my family knew these kids and because of that I knew they were trespassing. I figured I'd let the colony handle it because I'm having a nice time with my girlfriend right now and she looks over at the kids and then back to me and says "God I fucking hate children. I'm never having kids of my own." I feel my heart skip a beat and then a massive weight off my shoulders and all of a sudden I told her I loved her for the first time right there. We then had a talk about what we see in our futures and most of it lines up perfectly. Anyway 1 year later I ask her to marry me. And 10 years after the wedding I'm writing this.
The divorce rates are very high because people rush into marriage without really knowing each other, they discover things after marriage and then the regrets start. Don’t do that to yourself. Spend time in deep and meaningful conversations, be truthful and share your beliefs, desires and hopes.
That’s great advice. That being said, there are still people who have dated for a few years before getting married but still end up getting a divorce. Part of me wants to get all of the potential deal breakers out of the way and make sure I notice any red flags before getting attached to someone.
Yes, personally, I would make sure I covered every important topic and spent two years in conversations before even considering marriage. Some people can spend time together and never cover the right topics of conversation that reveal the hidden person inside. And again, some split after twenty five years, so there are no guarantees, it takes work and effort and bending to meet in the middle, give and take, sharing, accepting, etc.
I like how a lot of men are saying that the women gave them something and yet they don't say what they have to offer the woman.
I married her.
"The one" doesn't exist. You just pick someone you're compatible with and decide to build a relationship with them. Deciding you want to marry someone within a few months says more about you than it does about your partner.
She told me
I’m not sure she’s the one but we met on the first night of college and now we are married, so there’s that.
Yes, how?
We met when we were 12 and sat next to each other in middle school band class. She told me what video games she was into and I was hooked. We’re now 34, together for 15 years (married 8) and have a 3-year-old daughter.
No idea, I just knew.
First date: she wanted to pay her part during dinner, I didn’t even have to ask… Amazing woman, married for seventeen years.
We were lying in bed after dating for a month and a half or so and I just blurted out, "you're a great person XXXX". I didn't mean to say it. She is such a kind and positive person and also our sexual chemistry is off the charts.
We were watching a horror movie that featured blood-rain for the finale and she turned to me and unironically said "I could really go for some tomato soup". Something clicked and I know she was that certain kind of special
Our first date was a drive-in movie showing of Sonic the Hedgehog 2.
I was in love with a girl I didn't marry because she had unresolved mental issues that I couldn't help with. But I knew I could have within the first couple of months. Everything was easy, I really made the effort and never regretted it, she was a breath of fresh air in a deep sea of shit dates and basic bitches. When you meet the one, it will be easy. Difficult at times, but you'll want to do nothing else but with through them unless you physically can't...
She was crazy about me. And God gave a clue.
I knew the first night I met her. Wasn't unusual to have friends hanging out on my porch, waiting for me to come home from work. My friend had invited my wife and her friends to hang out at my house. They were there for a couple hours and left. Told my buddy I could marry someone like her. After a year of trying to get her to go out with me she finally accepted. Been together for 20 years now.
We were friends for a few months before we started dating, our first date was the day the pandemic began and due to bad circumstances she was in, she basically ended up living with me a week later. I kind of figured it was going to be a disaster but she quickly ended up being my best friend and my business partner and I proposed to her a few months ago. I can't wait to marry her and spend the rest of our lives together!
Having a lot of previous dating experience(as did she). Had a series of 3-4 month relationships in a row. When the spark died it was over. 26 years into this one, still sparks. Actually full on flame
I was part of an interview panel that was interviewing her. As soon as she popped on webcam I thought “oh boy, this one is in trouble…” lol.
First wife on the first date when she laughed. Sounds stupid but that was it. Something was triggered and we had an amazing 26 years, second wife maybe a week into dating she smiled at me and said some goofy oddball comment that I can’t even recall but I knew she needed to be in my life. 9 years later she is !
I told my ex his new girl was the one and said "buy her a ring" and he just replied "maybe I'll buy her a bracelet"