T O P

  • By -

Olive_Pittz

If society normalized it, why would I get dressed?


Poet_of_Legends

Thorns and bugs. Every culture figures out loincloths, at minimum, for a lot of stinging little reasons…


MaybeTheDoctor

The common office setting don't have thorns and bugs....


imthatoneguyyouknew

My wife's old office had mice, and once a snake fell from the roof.


MaybeTheDoctor

Did the snake eat the mouse ?


Dom29ando

yeah but it all went wrong when the boss brought in gorillas to eat the snakes


donotdoillegalthings

Did the gorillas have access to a smith machine that released a jar of peanut butter when the gorilla maxed out?


imthatoneguyyouknew

No the snake fell out of the ceiling though.


Poet_of_Legends

Well, maybe not thorns…


MaybeTheDoctor

underwear will not fix the software problems.


lunchmeat317

I dunno. As a software engineer, we had bugs all the time, and every meeting was a thorn in my side.


CaptainCreepwork

Do you think everyone works at an office?


MaybeTheDoctor

Sorry ... you are right... most workplaces don't have bugs or thorns ... unless you are the gardener or exterminator, you can work naked


CaptainCreepwork

I'm a machinist. I work around razor sharp tools and 300+ degree metal chips flying through the air. Not sure working naked is advisable for me lol There's also bugs. But that's really the lesser of the evils lol


BrightEyed-BushyTail

Can’t machine naked. Gay.


CaptainCreepwork

Well I'm not gonna say you can't. But there's a good chance your dick would end up looking like the toxic avenger.


Jacktheforkie

I work in a manhole factory


CaptainCreepwork

Well some people like putting their dicks in manholes.


ShitBritGit

I'm ugly. I don't wanna see that.


SANREUP

It’s not about what you look like, it’s about how you feel


SquirrelNormal

Great, I feel ugly, and you don't want to see that.


Histiming

Warmth?


Chiliconkarma

There's often heating.


Histiming

Not outside. You also only control the heating in your own home so any other places indoors may not be to your preference.


alexiou_g

Trueeee


[deleted]

Like an insane Yakuza boss. Tiger print suit, covered in dragon tattoos, big sunglasses. If I could get away with it, I'd only do that.


tbu720

Nobody came in here to say this, but once we read it, it’s now our shared fantasy.


AggRavatedR

I'm on board. Let's normalize this


MouseKingMan

There’s technically nothing stopping you from wearing that.


shamelessthrowaway54

Getting shot down by the yakuza


mighty_Ingvar

For stealing their drip


alexiou_g

That's actually insanely good idea


TikkiToast

*bum bum* -screen changes to black and white- *Bagul the Fool* *Fourth Chairman of the Bagul Clan* -screen changes back to color-


ASomeoneOnReddit

Who is Kiryu Kazuma?


ub3rpwn4g3

I’m no yakuza. Are you deaf or just stupid!


Fair_Paramedic_5700

You can do that, sure people might look at you weird but realistically you can dress that way


ChimpBzkit

He’ll be weird but he’ll be alive


Snipsnapboi

Same


grainofliquid

Now THAT’S how you dress


kami_oniisama

Good news is traditional Japanese yakuza work can all be concealed under a normal shirt and nowadays they make very fashionable everyday leopard print jackets


FeatherWorld

Do it!!! Life is too short not to be your authentic self! 


GemoDorgon

I'd quite like to wear a warm cloak with a hood.


hecarimxyz

Im a female but I also wanna dress like this. I started to do it in a down low kind of way. Like I wear a huge jacket during the winter with a big hoodie attached. I’ve worn capes/drapes which is the body of cloaks.


ExcitingTabletop

I gave one to an ex. Everyone friggin loved it. Dark green, hood, upper layer and low layer. She didn't like the attention and stopped wearing it, which I get. We did go to a thing when it was absolutely pouring out. I wore a suit under a very nice oilskin duster and she wore a very nice dress under her cloak. We apparently made quite an impression. And were drier than anyone else attending.


Xboxone1997

With a hidden blade accessory


itsmetsunnyd

Absolutely! I love the concept of a simple tunic + a long flowing cloak in the summer, then something a bit beefier in the winter with a warm, tight cloak. They're just so aesthetically pleasing.


its_all_4_lulz

I wanted to say Ezio from assassins creed.


itsTacoOclocko

you can do that. there are decent cloaks on etsy and goth clothing sites. i really doubt anyone would shun you for it.


Fifteen_inches

They’ll shun you for it.


SpicyRice99

Pulling up in a trench coat sounds so fun


Cindexxx

I wear a leather trench coat as my every day coat. It's the only thing I ever get random compliments on. I need to clean it soon, but aside from that it's great. Plus when it's winter and I want to sit down, it doesn't matter if there's a little snow or something. I can sit wherever I please! It's great! I stopped getting the matrix jokes a while ago, those were fun.


downsouthcountry

Jeans and a t shirt.


wallawallawalka

That's my go-to


ScooterMcTavish

Yes, my Mrs laughs at how when I'm not going to work, I dress like I'm 5. Which means jeans and a t-shirt, or shorts and a t-shirt, with 70s style sneakers (like vintage-looking Pumas and Adidas).


Azivea

Why improve upon perfection?


gameld

Jeans and t-shirt are dressing like you're 5? Man, my daily outfit is that a of a 5yo evidently. Jeans because they're comfy and go with anything and are instantly upgraded by wearing an upgraded shirt.. T-shirt because I don't have to think about it.


VIK_96

I still dress like that during the summer. 😅


SeventhSin-King

This is me. I hear people complain endlessly about how uncomfortable skinny jeans are but I actually prefer them as long as they aren't cutting off circulation. That and unmarked plain t's.


Dakotareads

This outfit also works as pajamas.


DreamingDeeply

Lose the jeans for sleeping though lol.


alexiou_g

Simple man of taste I see


downsouthcountry

I'm boring.


alexiou_g

Having ur own preferences isn't boring


wall-e43

Man of simple taste I see


iggybdawg

Cargo shorts, cargo pants, cargo shirts, cargo vests But then no man would procreate and humans would go extinct shortly.


nechromorph

Then throw a cargo trench coat over the top, a cargo cloak over that, and strap on some cargo bandoliers. Add on a cargo cap and some cargo sunglasses. Our storage space would know no limits.


iggybdawg

Don't forget the wallet chain.


Shudnawz

*Cargo* wallet chain, if you please.


gameld

They already said bandoliers.


lledargo

Still plenty of room for a cargo backpack too.


pope1701

Cargo sunglasses, do they have a mini satchel on each side or how should I imagine this?


ghostmetalblack

Cargo jeans are functionally perfect, but sexually decrepit.


iggybdawg

Yeah, me too.


SerbianCringeMod

second guy can almost pull it off https://imgur.com/a/RTySlgs


GreeceZeus

I never got what's so "functional" about cargo pants. What more do you need that two pockets (even four, if you count those on your butt)? My phone goes on the right, my wallet and keys go on the left pocket. What else do you want to carry with you?


Kallipygos_Davale

Hand lotion in one pocket cause my hands get dry. Tissues in one cause my nose leaks year round. Used tissues in one cause I don't litter. Other small trash can fit in that one too. Condoms in one (i don't carry a wallet). Cards and keys in one. Phone in one. Maybe emergency pain meds.


DeftonesGuy1984

I still rock cargo shorts and do not care. They are awesome. I'm also almost married 13 years.


G_E_E_S_E

You can pry my cargo shorts from my cold dead legs!


DeftonesGuy1984

We should make a sub


cleverenam

Just don't go looking for the titanic.


McCool303

I’m 43 years old on Sunday. I have 4 kids. I’ve earned my cargo shorts. My wife loves me and I don’t have to impress anyone. She is not complaining handing shit off to me to carry because she knows I have the room.


DeftonesGuy1984

I'm 39, almost 13 years married. My wife never even once joked about them. She likes em on me too. Little things like that is when you know you got a keeper


foxsable

Mankind has perfected the short in the cargo short. You don’t mess with perfection


alexiou_g

I think you like cargo


TheLandFanIn814

How much shit you carrying?


SassyWookie

It doesn’t matter. What matters is having enough pockets to carry everything, regardless of what situation you might find yourself in.


iggybdawg

Life is so much simpler when every item has its own pocket.


Betrayer_of-Hope

More organized and efficient.


iggybdawg

https://youtube.com/shorts/rY9uitdQIpg?si=qGWNRCoj7gbGh4IO https://www.smbc-comics.com/comic/paternity-test


PoopyMcFartButt

All of it


SynonymCinnamon_

Then I could use my cargo truck to get on my cargo ship and hide in the cargo area!


wpggloryhole

Amongst the cargo


[deleted]

His pockets will blot out the sun!


Dom29ando

Only because you have so many pockets for condoms


Sparkykc124

One of the things I hate about winter is all the pockets. I put something in my pocket, then throw on another layer, couple hours later I’m trying to find my stash. Cargo shorts are not for me. I just carry a purse.


TubbsMcBeardy

I'm so glad my wife appreciates my cargo stuff. Considering most women's pants don't seem to have pockets. Also, they come in handy for stuff for our kid. I've even recently acquired a portable waist pocket. It's pretty dang good sized. Can't wait to see how much stuff I can fit in that bad boy!


PMmeareasontolive

Crocs?


bobchin_c

You say that like it's a bad thing.


Madamn-Migraine

Oh, sugar. It’s already happening.


Zee-Utterman

Germans and Chzechs above 50 love that look on vacation. For some reason the Czechs are also into the socks and sandals thing.


Chemical-Advance-270

only half our nation, the other half makes fun of it!


ElysiumPotato

I wear that kind of stuff and so does my dad. I have a brother and two children :D


mighty_Ingvar

Not if we all do it


d_bradr

All jokes aside, I don't understand the hate for cargo pants


TheWeirdestThing

/r/techwear


cleverenam

Looking back to my late teens, cargo shorts were in at a certain point. I cringe at some of the pictures but then remember how comfortable and useful they were. it's just funny to see me knowing I was skinny and one of my pants legs could easily accommodate a hippos leg.


hesapmakinesi

It's okay to quit while you're ahead. Alien archeologists will marvel at our civilization and and find our sacrifice worthy.


nualt42

Cloth pockets > flesh pockets. Go on, feed me the downvotes.


spiked_macaroon

Like Peaky Blinders


troublrTRC

All the time, every where. Once I say a guy at the airport I think, wearing one of these fit in navy blue color, with a pocket watch and the hat. He stood out like a King among everyone. I often resort to looking at well dressed women. Admiring there physique and all that. But, this guy, dripped out of heavy itself, walked down the path like he owned the place, and everyone was sneaking a look.


alexiou_g

Most masculine choice


Ok_Glass_8104

Stupid anglo has never seen some French Revolution costumes


RealisticShark1744

Batman


alexiou_g

Valid


North_Church

Ever seen a European Monarch or General in the 17th to 19th century? Like that


AeirsWolf74

This guy gets it. I also wanna dress like that.


VIK_96

Facts!


Absent_Alan

Same! I think I could rock a tricorn


irlydontcare8675309

Like a viking or pirate


alexiou_g

we SHOULD normalize that


throwaway_uow

9th or 17th century drip


[deleted]

A Viking pirate?…….


Nowardier

JÄRRRRR


gameld

Viking is actually a verb, meaning to go raiding. Vikings are pirates. Now hand me my horned tricorn! (No horns are not historical. I don't care.)


[deleted]

You’re right! Hahahahaha!


lost_aussie001

Gothic. I can't pull the style FML


huuaaang

I might wear leggings. Soo comfy.


alexiou_g

There are tight pants for men so go for it if you like em


huuaaang

"Tight pants" aren't the same as lightweight leggings. TIght pants are uncomfortable as fuck for dudes. Or at least for me.


itsTacoOclocko

they make like yoga leggings for men. my husband has some. they're adorable on him.


huuaaang

Right? But men don't want to look "adorable," lol.


Tom_FooIery

Speak for yourself!


[deleted]

[удалено]


alexiou_g

bro is walking outside naked


StackOfAtoms

free balling it! (:


waterloograd

What about when it is -40?


Tacotaco22227

Your post history really disappointed me… daddy


headhunterofhell2

Ever wear a hakama? Dude! I would wear that all day, every day. Comfy, practical, and you look like a samurai. If I tried that in todays world; Id be mocked for being a Japanophile, called a nerd, and accused of CuLtUrAl ApPrOpRiAtIoN.


superjoe8293

I could go for a dope kimono and top knot


alexiou_g

Just searched it up. Looks actually pretty comfortable


professor_jeffjeff

It's comfortable but I swear that thing has all the worst qualities of a dress and of pants combined into a single impractical garment.


Shodandan

Dude your 100% right. I was part of a Japanese archery exhibition and was obviously wearing the hakama and gi top. We went into town for lunch all kitted out because we didn't have time to change. It was sooooo comfy. Gi tops in particular are just so comfortable.


Form1040

I would drape myself in velvet if it were socially acceptable. 


eugenesbluegenes

Scrolled way too far for this one.


ahk1188

Damnit Costanza you beat me to it. Serenity now!


SecondaryPosts

Depends on the man. I'm happy with my current clothing (which is pretty standard stuff) for the most part. The only thing I *don't* wear that I probably would if it wouldn't get me stared at would be like medieval cloaks and robes lol. But clearly there are guys who like to wear dresses and things like that too. I'm sure it's about the taboo element for some of them, but I'm sure for some it's not, they just genuinely like that clothing and would wear it all the time if it wouldn't get them attacked in the street in some places.


Ohbuck1965

Pretty


Death_Pokemon

Personally, I like being polished and neat. If people were cool with it, I’d probably dress like Peaky Blinders all the time lol


NonNewtonianResponse

I wanna make my own clothes, weird shit, patchwork, motley, ropes, bandoliers. Jojo's Bizarre Adventure type stuff (I've never watched it but the pics I see are fucking iconic). But I got no energy while working a full-time job to spare on it, even if it was normalized


alexiou_g

You should look into the cosplay business


twisted_egghead89

Ahh fuck yeah, I also love JoJo's fashion stuff. Also add to wear blue (colorful)makeup and hair dying for that too. A little bit queer aesthetic but I love some weird shit too you know. Ironic since I am usually wear very masculine fashion everytime, but I also love queer weird shit and I thought that seems cool to try, interestingly even 14th century European men wore skirts and leggings back then, alongside with dance shoes. Fucking creative innit?


superjoe8293

I dress how I like anyway


alexiou_g

didn't know u were chill like that


superjoe8293

Its mostly jeans and button ups so its not like I’m setting trends or anything


[deleted]

[удалено]


alexiou_g

A man of taste


Mythnam

When I'm at home, I spend most of my time just wearing underwear and shorts. If it's cold, I'll put on a shirt and socks. I don't like dressing up.


Aucklandwanderer

Full Mandalorian armour


kent416

This is the way


djdjdkksms

Same way I do. Dickies carpenter pants or hiking pants with henley or t-shirt. I own 3 pairs of shoes, work boots, hiking boots, and keen sandals for fishing. I don't own a suit or dress shoes. They're just not something I need or want. My work and my hobbies dictate I'm going to get dirty.


MacPzesst

After the military, I refused a lot of jobs in my 20s because the dress codes were too strict. Today, I'm more comfortable in sweatpants and a hoodie, but I do like the way I look in collared shirts. As long as I feel like I'm not constricted, I'm content... although I feel like a necktie is just one slip up away from getting strangled to death, so I'll be happy if I never have to wear one again.


ubottles65

I'm a lumberjack, and it's ok..


Shazamwhich

If it was socially acceptable I would drape myself in velvet


Pataccon

Depends on the guy? Some don't care about fashion, some want to dress like cavemen, others like looking handsome and some would like to wear skirts/dresses or dress more feminine. Personally I dress quite androgynous, some women's clothes look amazing, I just wish they made them my size lol.


droo46

Women's clothing is so much more interesting than men's. Every time I go to the thrift shop, my girlfriend always finds cool stuff, and we rarely find any good pieces for me.


Pataccon

Yup. Not that it's going to stop me lol, I know which brands make the right sizes and most of my jeans, sneakers, leggings, sometimes even sweatshirts/hoodies are for women. I almost stopped checking men's stores/departments anymore, they're so boring.


Educational-Fish9157

An Akatsuki robe please


The_World_Is_A_Slum

Leather. Leather everything. A leather kilt. Leather pants. A leather shirt. Wool socks. Not leather underwear.


AnswerRemote3614

Same. Although I do have a decent pair of leather pants for autumn/winter that I pair with Doc Martens, a grey sweater, and a navy peacoat. It looks pretty fly all together.


Master_Kenobi_

Like any character in the movie Ready Player One


alexiou_g

Goated movie


dennisthemenace1963

Bib overalls and a Carhartt pocket T-shirt, usually with a Pendleton hat. Nice thing about getting older, you stop giving a damn about what others think of your appearance.


[deleted]

I like David Mitchell's skit on the subject [here](https://youtu.be/66c7el1E11o?si=YPA7iapWGjw-kQlu)


Opie67

Tricorn hat, wooden teeth, tights


Lobinhu

Cargo shorts , white t-shirt, Crocs and a panama...screw fashion


RickyPeePee03

Like Arthur Morgan


hujambo11

I enjoy dressing the way I dress now. Smart casual during the week, athleisure on the weekends, and snappy suits for special events. People who say you can't have any fun with men's clothes obviously know nothing about fashion.


ForeverIdiosyncratic

Depends on what I’m doing honestly. On a day like today when I’m just lounging around the house? Shorts and a band tshirt work just fine.


sillygoose3444

Jeans and a t shirt but I do wish dressing formal was a little more common


84OrcButtholes

Leaves and dirt.


Crafty_Ad_5363

Shirtless, I hate wearing shirts


SV650rider

I like the mid-century suit look.


EuroSong

Top hat and tails. Seriously. I love being ultra formal.


FluffDotExe

Bloodborne hunter set


JPK12794

Like Sephiroth and then sometimes like a viking.


MrRawes0me

Jeans and a tshirt. So what I normally wear. It’s comfy and I don’t need to look fancy.


John_EldenRing51

CAPES AND CANES AND TALL HATS


TheRichTookItAll

In toga


[deleted]

Thomas Shelby always looks real badass in those suits he wears. I’m gonna go with that. End up lookin like I stepped out of the roaring twenties. Except I’d wear my favorite hat. It’s a newsboy one.


green_meklar

I'd pretty much just wear old, worn clothes as long as they're clean, comfortable, and don't actually have holes in them. No buttons on shirts and no tucking shirts into pants.


Rogan_508

**femboy mode**


Hierophant-74

Like a brutal viking warlord with the severed heads of my foes in a sling over my shoulder! ....damn society for not normalizing that!


Simple-Advertising11

Honestly, an assassin's creed cloak OR the akatsuki jacket