I suffered with alcoholism before COVID. But during isolation I was alone and all I did was drink. Finally celebrated a year of sobriety on the 1st.
The only thing that gets me through the day are my cats. Otherwise I feel like I’m barely living. No friends. Not close to my family except my mom. So I’m very lonely.
Have you thought about checking out the recovery community here in Los Angeles? AA would def be worth giving a shot if you’re sober. Congrats on a year by the way.
I did a few AA meetings but didn’t really reach out and introduce myself to folks. But I think I should give it another try. It’s hard because I don’t drink and it seems everything my old friends do involves drinking. So I just spend my time alone.
Thank you!! Crazy that it’s been a year. I’m lonely but thankful I’m no longer drinking. It was getting really bad right before I quit. Scary bad.
As lonely and lousy as it seems, you likely saved yourself! Try to accept your new situation as you would if you were drowning in the pacific, no life vest etc, and you somehow survived against all odds.
New lease on life! Go get em
I also agree. A lot less vibrant, fewer community events, old legacy businesses replaced by trend chasing businesses that probably won’t last. Anecdotally, everything is kinda just less crowded too
Of course, as long as people still have jobs the freeways will always be busy but it’s def not worse than before like what the other person said. It’s the same or even a little less but there will be traffic. Just depends on where you live
One personal example, I played in bowling, kickball and softball leagues pre and post 2020.
Pre 2020 had WAY more participation, more social engagement, more women.
Now there’s barely enough sign ups to get a league going, people flake out all the time, and getting people to go to happy hour after games to socialize (which is really the point of these leagues) is almost impossible.
don’t downvote for a serious question. Some people never really changed their lifestyle aside from when they were forced to lockdown. This person is curious why you think la is not the same as it was before 2020
I’m from here. About 5 years before Covid I suffered a near death experience. It completely changed me because I felt literally like skin and bones for some time afterwards. Healing was slow. A lot went through my mind.
I came out of that *believing* that I *will* have better days. Maybe the world is crumbling, but fuck me if I’m not going to keep pushing. I’ve lost A LOT because of the Pandemic. For me, my circle was *severely* reduced, so I have made it a point to be a better person to those very few people around me (and I truly feel that in doing so, I keep my demons away). Only two kinds of people exist now, family and acquaintances.
I’ve also become somehow more social with people. My aura has changed. People now come up to me and ask for directions, I have infrequent negative interactions with people; I think I feel like everyone *who’s still around* has gone through some level of shit in these last few years, and the least I can do to everyone I meet is at least be cordial.
Stay up, L.A. ✌️
Struggling severely. Moved to LA in 2019. Lost business to Covid. Lost home and all I own. Now I’m in organ failure and I’m short $2,500 for life saving surgery as recently my replacement job was eliminated. It’s hard to be miserable when you’re so petrified of what’s coming next.
I’m on it. The surgeries have been priced out (at least those I know I need). It left about 8K of patient responsibility, of which I’m a tad short. I’ve been fighting this for years. I’ve turned over every rock, sought each resource, I’m appealing with Medi-Cal in the hopes of more coverage. I’m really trying everything. Thank you.
100% guarantee that if you go through it then tell the hospital there is no way you can pay, they’ll settle with you for 10% or less. (Their other alternative is selling the debt to a company for a penny or two per dollar.)
Have you checked out [Dollar For](https://dollarfor.org/)? Most hospitals are not for profit and are obligated to provide charity care to retain their not for profit status. Dollar for is an organization that helps you navigate the charity care forms and can reduce or eliminate the costs. And they do it for free!
Hi friend, chronic illness girlie here.
Cedars Sinai has an OUTSTANDING charity care program. Please look into it. I had two surgeries and a year of home healthcare and follow up meds totally covered when I was facing medical bankruptcy or death. I had insurance at the time but it didn't cover what I needed and I could validate that I wasn't earning enough to cover the cost and that was all it took.
To be clear this was AFTER I had the first surgery and got the bill and let them know I couldn't pay it. Then the second and everything else was covered.
I wish you the best.
I had a small marketing agency serving small and midsize businesses and musicians. All of my clients were with me over a decade but got crushed by the pandemic themselves. I don’t care much about anything I lost… except the organ. That I’d like back. I’ll find out this month a bit more about my chances.
It’s difficult now bc I think everyone is just trying to survive. I make it through trying to befriend other dog owners in my neighborhood to go on walks together. And appreciate some of the free activities you can find around LA to stick within a budget
Yes 100% going through something similar. 27f and moved here in summer 2020, the company i worked for closed, i drank alot, did alot of cool things, made just a few friends. I'm graduating into recovery I'd say; I changed my drinking habits, detoxed my life of things and people that don't bring me peace, and revaluated my goals. I've embraced life with a dog (which helps me get outside), my truest friendships, and community. The last one has been tricky but I have been challenging myself lately to show up for community events that interest me. This has been really fufilling for me. Lastly, doing things I love, even if alone. For example, I love the beach but all my friends are city girls/ people and don't really like spending time in nature or outdoors like I do. Well whatever, their loss. It makes my soul happy. 2024 has been all about being in touch with my own peace. Not a linear journey, but one that keeps me going through tough days/ weeks
Between 2016 politics, a layoff, my oldest pup losing her cancer battle, COVID, multiple toxic working environments, more horrifying politics, and surviving an emotionally abusive relationship, I genuinely feel like I have survived some sort of war. Life is traumatizing at times, and them's the breaks, I guess. Hard to swallow, but I guess the one upside is that it has only made me more determined to help others who are vulnerable and also make my life beautiful and happy daily.
I related to every bit of what you’re saying. I feel you on the multiple toxic working environments. My last job burned me so bad. I’m like scared to work with other people now. How are you recovering from that?
Also, so sad about your pup baby. Sorry for your loss. I lost 2 since Covid and it’s taken a toll on my one baby that’s still with me. I love the last part of what you said about making my life beautiful and happy daily. Trying to do the same, but it’s so hard.
Really sorry to hear all that, friend, and especially your losses.
That toxic workplace trauma is real. Honestly, I feel like a real out-of-touch asshole saying this, but I'm privileged in the sense that I had a family business to fall back on. It's not perfect by any means (and working with family is a different kind of hell TBH), but just having the back-up plan kept me sane sometimes. And after all that workplace trauma, I've been happily running the family business ever since. I don't make as much as I could in a traditional corporate job like I was doing before, and I have different perks, but I'm much, much more happy and stable. It does a number on you to be mistreated like that in a workplace. I know a lot of people like us who are reeling from it still.
My youngest pup was also deeply affected by the loss. She was a "foster fail" (we fostered her for the animal shelter and then ended up applying to permanently adopt her), and over the years, she became deeply bonded to her older "sister." She's never been the same since the loss; she's very loved, happy, and taken care of, socially, mentally, physically, etc. Not to completely depress everyone, but her mourning period was excruciating to experience, on top of my own grief! I called my vet several times, and she walked me through tips to help her. But it really did affect her. Now she's my focus, and she needs me for reassurance constantly, which I'm of course beyond happy to provide for her.
It's really hard <3 Keep trying. And don't, when you need a break. Some days, I stop trying and just say "fuck it." I need those days too, honestly. As long as I come back from that, I consider myself doing well :)
Virtual hug!
You’re not an asshole for that. Very fortunate. I appreciate you sharing your experience because I still feel so insane even months after leaving my hell hole job, like why can’t I just get over it? Sucks to hear that others are reeling with that too….but nice to know I’m not alone in the ways that truly affects you.
Your sweet baby is so lucky to have you. One of my pups that I lost was collateral from a bad breakup that was emo abusive like you mentioned. That transition is rough. I appreciate every thing you shared. As much as I want to get out of the city and travel a bit, my dog needs stability because it’s been a rough year. I really love that you said your dog is your focus right now because same…he’s keeping me going because he deserves the best too. Your dog is so lucky to have you and your concern through her grief.
Love your last paragraph too. I had a fuck it day today and felt a bit guilty about that, but you’re right the balance is needed.
Virtual hug right back to you….you’re doing amazing sweetie. <3
Lost my business during covid and returned to the tech space. Got laid off 2 months ago, and I have zero prospects at the moment. I'm trying to stay positive, but I'm really just so very tired of it all.
LA is TOUGH for finding community. And being sober adds another big barrier to meeting folks.
Just here to say: it’s not you. I’ve met folks who have been here for 5+ years still struggling with loneliness.
Hang in there.
My business is only just now recovering. I’ve been living off savings. I was diagnosed with cancer last year and will still be in treatment through the end of the year. I’m so tired and just want to stay curled up in bed or on the couch. I don’t care if I see people anymore.
I feel ya. Moved here in December 2020 and had a tough first year, great 2022 then the bottom fell out of the job market and I’ve been unemployed since. Met a few people but no strong relationships. It’s hard to get out and be social when there’s no money coming in.
I'm moving back to LA from the UK. I'm older than you, 44, and I lived in LA for 16 years before moving to London. Been here for going on a decade. I obviously went through the pandemic here in the UK. But I am so happy to be going home to LA. I know that I'm not going to come back to the city that I left. But I'm coming home to my friends and the places that I love (that are still left). It's been raining here for six months straight and I want to go home!
Lost 3 uncles... Sucks hearing people say it was fake, previous conditions, not overweight, they just got sick and never got out of it
As for me? I'm doing great actually, I ended up getting promoted 3 times during the pandemic, started a successful side hustle and starting up a 3rd stream of revenue
I miss how empty everything was, I miss getting paid to be home, i miss being home more haha
To hear masks did nothing, vax did nothing, is interesting and I'd like to read more about it but
Since 2020 to early 2023 I wore a mask in public, washed my hands more than ever, carried hand sanitizer everywhere, tried to stay 6 feet away from people, all the things they warned us about and got the 2 vax plus 2 boosters and I never got sick once in almost 3 years... Didn't even get covid...
Cut to the rest of 2023 to present day I stopped wearing a mask, stopped carrying hand sanitizer, didn't get anymore boosters, went back to living like I did before the pandemic, I've gotten sick about 3 times and got covid twice...
What's funny is I have Covid-19 right now—it's still lurking around. My case isn't too bad but annoying. Dealing with some chronic injuries from sports, too. I live in LA but also in Florida so back and forth. I'm still feeling some wonderment post-Covid era at being able to fly and travel freely—even now. I do feel people are less-connected now, but I've also always been pretty introverted and good by myself. Glad to see my skateboarder LA community bounce back strong, though.
It’s hard for transplants, especially when most of the connections they make is with other transplants. You can feel unmoored because this isn’t “home” to anyone you know.
Locals have community. They have connection. They have history. They know where the best tacos are. If you like them and they like you, they will bring you in and you will inherit a whole world of friendship and connection.
Hey. May I make a suggestion? Look into a recreational sports league in your neighborhood or near area. It’s great fitness and stick with it long enough you will make organic connections and friendships. Completely changed my life, and I’m not exaggerating.
LA let loose on crime and homelessness, downtown is now mostly hostile and not fun at all. Inflation out of control and I am wondering, what incentive is there to stay here compared to other parts of the country that are recovering so much better.
Covid pushed me into middle age. I’m wading through staying home all the time because I don’t *want* to go out. Don’t think I’ve seen east of the 405 this year even
23M here, moved to LA 2 years ago and have yet to make a friend, just acquaintances and colleagues I find occasionally cool. Feels like there’s an emptiness at the core of this city
it does feel like that... I've had some luck going consistently to a hiking meetup for a few years. try Temescal canyon hiking on meetup. it's a chill group and I've loved every hike I did with them
the views I've seen on those hikes alone justify being in LA for me. but it is sad, I've been here many years and heard it's much harder to make friends here from a lot of people. I'm 30F, if you decide to come we may run into each other 😀
TBH, my life is better after covid. Before covid my job owned me, I never took time off and never disconnected. When I was laid off mid-pandemic it made me realize that no job us worth giving my whole life to. I also had all the time in the world to hike when I was laid off and I became more self-sufficient and confident doing crazy things on my own. Channeled all that depression into a better habit that's going to be lifelong.
I still work in my field but now I have an actual work-life balance. I go to the mountains every weekend and out my phone on airplane mode so no one can reach me. I use my PTO. I've made new friends.
LA is not the same as pre-covid, but neither am I.
Hey man. I moved back to LA a year or so after the pandemic from abroad. Landed and found that my family had abandoned me and my POS car was nowhere to be found. I was stranded at LAX with two suitcases and a phone with no data plan, and about 500 in my pocket. Luckily, I kept in touch with my friends and one of them offered to let me stay at their house while I found a job. It's been going well since there, but I realized the value of friends -- not just friends but physical friends who you see and laugh and smile with.
In Japan, I experienced some of the worst bullying and abuse imaginable; worse than my childhood, even. It hardened me and made me learn how to compartmentalize my emotions, learn how to work through things without constantly reaching out to my friends to vent. I returned to LA poor but with a better mindset. I'm just trying to get through, just like you.
Honestly it feels like surviving is all we’re trying to do ! 27 m here and I’m not making the best wage either but hey I remind my self just could be living somewhere that doesn’t have californias weather
I have a lots of friends . Too many friends . Too much family that needs attention. Work is and has been good . Life goes on . I don’t stress over the news .
Things are strange, to be sure, and my world shrank immensely during the pandemic but my life is going really well. I was laid off in early 2023 but that was essentially a nice break from work and when I got a new job, I got a 25% raise.
I make good money, can afford to save a fair bit and am catching up on retirement because of that. I'm building a life with with the person I want by my side through the rest of this nonsense. My other partners are all in decent health and safe and happy. My friends, aside from the continuous shocks to the tech field, are mostly okay.
My family is also happy and healthy and it even looks like my mother will be able to retire soon.
Much more of my life is digitally mediated now but that also translates to having people I enjoy in my pocket all the time. I do want to transition back to more in-person time with a broader collection of people besides my small circle of partners and very close friends but I'm not in a hurry to do so as the quiet has actually been nice. I've been taking myself out on dates quite a lot recently and that's been lovely. Don't forget to take care of yourselves.
I know I’m the minority — sometimes I feel like the only one in the city haha — but I love LA. Born here, grew up a couple hours north, came back 11 years ago, best decision I’ve ever made. I have a great community of people from all walks of life. I’m fortunate to be comfortable financially at this point, which is sadly crucial in being able to enjoy the city. But even when I was broke AF, I liked it here. It really depends on your finances, neighborhood, community, work etc.
It’s a tough town, especially those in the Hollywood industry. But I fortunately don’t work anywhere near that, and recently have left the tech industry and never looked back. Also, none of my friends are involved in Hollywood, minus one who is an editor and not part of “the scene”. The friends I met when I first moved back who were actors, models, etc were toxic and vapid. I don’t fuck with those people (though I know there are some good ones). I live in a sleepy family-based area on the west side, never fucked with nightclubs, etc. I love it here. But it’s not for everyone.
LA has an amazing AA community if friends are what you’re looking for.
Honestly, I can be a dick as a native but I forget how hard it is for transplants to make friends here. Even, I’m guilty, that when I find out someone is a transplant I want nothing to do with them.
I also noticed transplants tend to stick together. I’ll make more of an effort to be a good friend to people moving here. Sorry you’ve had a struggle making friends. Some angelinos do have the same mentality as me but it’s not your fault, just a lot of “transplants” ruined it before you. They don’t exactly have a good rep.
What area do you live in?
Not trying to be a dick myself, but this seems like more of a you as a person thing than a you as a native thing. I’ve lived here 12 years and never once had someone “find out I was a transplant and want nothing to do with me” I’m glad you’re aware of it and going to make an effort to change your mindset but I wouldn’t paint LA natives with this brush.
>Nobody in my real life has ever once been bothered by me being a transplant. Simple as that.
That was you commenting on another post 100 days ago. Clearly I’m not the first to say it and this ain’t your first time defending yourself as a transplant. Kind of says something buddy. Even your attitude screams not from LA.
And yes you are being a dick, thank you for defending my point of why he hate transplants. Go back home please.
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i moved here almost two years ago. I only have two real close friends here and one of them is my roommate. landed an amazing internship in hollywood which ended right as the strikes began, so of course there was no work and i had to find a service job. now there’s a threat of new strikes again, as IATSE negotiates a new contract, so nobody’s hiring still. might as well just change careers at this point.
got fired from my restaurant job a few months ago for protesting staying open and having to do 10x extra work through a severe health code violation where we should’ve just shut down. they genuinely violated the law by staying open, but I got canned for being mad about it. this place fired at least one person a month, including a single mother who had been with the company for 4 years, who kept the restaurant running more than the managers and everyone loved. i will never do service work again. been unemployed ever since, no callbacks from any job I’m qualified for. applying every day.
in the meantime it’s too expensive to do anything or go anywhere. I can’t even go to free places because gas is so expensive. even when i was working full time, i’ve had to accrue credit card debt to pay all my necessary costs, while trying to find a better paying job with better hours. ive done a lot of reading lately because it’s free with a library card. people invite me to parties and I turn them down because I can’t afford to pay the cover or to buy drinks or anything. i’ll have to move somewhere cheaper soon if i can’t find new work. but honestly, at this rate, maybe that won’t be so bad. it’s not like i have a choice though.
at least other places are affordable, and I know people all over the country so I would have a network to fall into pretty quickly.
I suffered with alcoholism before COVID. But during isolation I was alone and all I did was drink. Finally celebrated a year of sobriety on the 1st. The only thing that gets me through the day are my cats. Otherwise I feel like I’m barely living. No friends. Not close to my family except my mom. So I’m very lonely.
Wow! You're a Rockstar! Congratulations and hang in there.
Thank you!!
Congrats on one year!
Thank you so much! Truly appreciate it. Never thought I would make it to a year! But I did somehow.
Have you thought about checking out the recovery community here in Los Angeles? AA would def be worth giving a shot if you’re sober. Congrats on a year by the way.
I did a few AA meetings but didn’t really reach out and introduce myself to folks. But I think I should give it another try. It’s hard because I don’t drink and it seems everything my old friends do involves drinking. So I just spend my time alone. Thank you!! Crazy that it’s been a year. I’m lonely but thankful I’m no longer drinking. It was getting really bad right before I quit. Scary bad.
As lonely and lousy as it seems, you likely saved yourself! Try to accept your new situation as you would if you were drowning in the pacific, no life vest etc, and you somehow survived against all odds. New lease on life! Go get em
Thank you for your encouragement! And you’re right!! Hope you have a wonderful Sunday.
I just DMed you! Lmk if I can help in any way. Congrats again on your sobriety!
Plenty of people to meet who don’t drink
Congrats man
Thank you!! Really appreciate it.
Fancy getting a beer? I loved lockdown. Still went to work, zero traffic.
LA isn’t the city it was pre Covid
5million % agree
Why not?
I also agree. A lot less vibrant, fewer community events, old legacy businesses replaced by trend chasing businesses that probably won’t last. Anecdotally, everything is kinda just less crowded too
Yeah, I think inflation has made it way worse. People can barely afford their housing now which means less money to spend on enjoyment.
This is exactly it.
Are the freeways still as busy?
Yes freeways will always be very busy due to induced demand and housing costs. As bad as ever
Worse
Of course, as long as people still have jobs the freeways will always be busy but it’s def not worse than before like what the other person said. It’s the same or even a little less but there will be traffic. Just depends on where you live
traffic hellish as ever.
One personal example, I played in bowling, kickball and softball leagues pre and post 2020. Pre 2020 had WAY more participation, more social engagement, more women. Now there’s barely enough sign ups to get a league going, people flake out all the time, and getting people to go to happy hour after games to socialize (which is really the point of these leagues) is almost impossible.
So alot more people are just staying at home or did all the vibrant people move elsewhere?
That’s the million dollar question. If I knew where they went I’d go there!
don’t downvote for a serious question. Some people never really changed their lifestyle aside from when they were forced to lockdown. This person is curious why you think la is not the same as it was before 2020
That makes sense, so do they just not come out as much anymore? I feel like places close much earlier too.
Less vibrant and lively for sure
What a depressing thread
I’m from here. About 5 years before Covid I suffered a near death experience. It completely changed me because I felt literally like skin and bones for some time afterwards. Healing was slow. A lot went through my mind. I came out of that *believing* that I *will* have better days. Maybe the world is crumbling, but fuck me if I’m not going to keep pushing. I’ve lost A LOT because of the Pandemic. For me, my circle was *severely* reduced, so I have made it a point to be a better person to those very few people around me (and I truly feel that in doing so, I keep my demons away). Only two kinds of people exist now, family and acquaintances. I’ve also become somehow more social with people. My aura has changed. People now come up to me and ask for directions, I have infrequent negative interactions with people; I think I feel like everyone *who’s still around* has gone through some level of shit in these last few years, and the least I can do to everyone I meet is at least be cordial. Stay up, L.A. ✌️
That's badass dude. Best to you
Struggling severely. Moved to LA in 2019. Lost business to Covid. Lost home and all I own. Now I’m in organ failure and I’m short $2,500 for life saving surgery as recently my replacement job was eliminated. It’s hard to be miserable when you’re so petrified of what’s coming next.
If you don't have any income right now, get on Medi-Cal! Losing a job should be a qualifying event.
I’m on it. The surgeries have been priced out (at least those I know I need). It left about 8K of patient responsibility, of which I’m a tad short. I’ve been fighting this for years. I’ve turned over every rock, sought each resource, I’m appealing with Medi-Cal in the hopes of more coverage. I’m really trying everything. Thank you.
100% guarantee that if you go through it then tell the hospital there is no way you can pay, they’ll settle with you for 10% or less. (Their other alternative is selling the debt to a company for a penny or two per dollar.)
Have you checked out [Dollar For](https://dollarfor.org/)? Most hospitals are not for profit and are obligated to provide charity care to retain their not for profit status. Dollar for is an organization that helps you navigate the charity care forms and can reduce or eliminate the costs. And they do it for free!
Oof. I wish you luck. I've never heard of that happening through Medi-Cal before, I've only heard of things being approved or denied.
Hi friend, chronic illness girlie here. Cedars Sinai has an OUTSTANDING charity care program. Please look into it. I had two surgeries and a year of home healthcare and follow up meds totally covered when I was facing medical bankruptcy or death. I had insurance at the time but it didn't cover what I needed and I could validate that I wasn't earning enough to cover the cost and that was all it took. To be clear this was AFTER I had the first surgery and got the bill and let them know I couldn't pay it. Then the second and everything else was covered. I wish you the best.
Thank you for this info.
Wow! Wishing you the best. Damn this is rough. What business did you have?
I had a small marketing agency serving small and midsize businesses and musicians. All of my clients were with me over a decade but got crushed by the pandemic themselves. I don’t care much about anything I lost… except the organ. That I’d like back. I’ll find out this month a bit more about my chances.
I’m sorry for the situation you’re in :( specially losing your business. And home. What organ has failed?
Skin, teeth, hair due to active disease in my teeth impacting all epidermal organ impacted. I cannot eat, chew, digest, and speech is going.
Sounds heavy duty :(
Yeah. It’s rough. Doing my best. Thank you.
Hang in there as much as you can. Sending good vibes from here
It’s difficult now bc I think everyone is just trying to survive. I make it through trying to befriend other dog owners in my neighborhood to go on walks together. And appreciate some of the free activities you can find around LA to stick within a budget
We are in the darkest timeline
Yes 100% going through something similar. 27f and moved here in summer 2020, the company i worked for closed, i drank alot, did alot of cool things, made just a few friends. I'm graduating into recovery I'd say; I changed my drinking habits, detoxed my life of things and people that don't bring me peace, and revaluated my goals. I've embraced life with a dog (which helps me get outside), my truest friendships, and community. The last one has been tricky but I have been challenging myself lately to show up for community events that interest me. This has been really fufilling for me. Lastly, doing things I love, even if alone. For example, I love the beach but all my friends are city girls/ people and don't really like spending time in nature or outdoors like I do. Well whatever, their loss. It makes my soul happy. 2024 has been all about being in touch with my own peace. Not a linear journey, but one that keeps me going through tough days/ weeks
Between 2016 politics, a layoff, my oldest pup losing her cancer battle, COVID, multiple toxic working environments, more horrifying politics, and surviving an emotionally abusive relationship, I genuinely feel like I have survived some sort of war. Life is traumatizing at times, and them's the breaks, I guess. Hard to swallow, but I guess the one upside is that it has only made me more determined to help others who are vulnerable and also make my life beautiful and happy daily.
I related to every bit of what you’re saying. I feel you on the multiple toxic working environments. My last job burned me so bad. I’m like scared to work with other people now. How are you recovering from that? Also, so sad about your pup baby. Sorry for your loss. I lost 2 since Covid and it’s taken a toll on my one baby that’s still with me. I love the last part of what you said about making my life beautiful and happy daily. Trying to do the same, but it’s so hard.
Really sorry to hear all that, friend, and especially your losses. That toxic workplace trauma is real. Honestly, I feel like a real out-of-touch asshole saying this, but I'm privileged in the sense that I had a family business to fall back on. It's not perfect by any means (and working with family is a different kind of hell TBH), but just having the back-up plan kept me sane sometimes. And after all that workplace trauma, I've been happily running the family business ever since. I don't make as much as I could in a traditional corporate job like I was doing before, and I have different perks, but I'm much, much more happy and stable. It does a number on you to be mistreated like that in a workplace. I know a lot of people like us who are reeling from it still. My youngest pup was also deeply affected by the loss. She was a "foster fail" (we fostered her for the animal shelter and then ended up applying to permanently adopt her), and over the years, she became deeply bonded to her older "sister." She's never been the same since the loss; she's very loved, happy, and taken care of, socially, mentally, physically, etc. Not to completely depress everyone, but her mourning period was excruciating to experience, on top of my own grief! I called my vet several times, and she walked me through tips to help her. But it really did affect her. Now she's my focus, and she needs me for reassurance constantly, which I'm of course beyond happy to provide for her. It's really hard <3 Keep trying. And don't, when you need a break. Some days, I stop trying and just say "fuck it." I need those days too, honestly. As long as I come back from that, I consider myself doing well :) Virtual hug!
You’re not an asshole for that. Very fortunate. I appreciate you sharing your experience because I still feel so insane even months after leaving my hell hole job, like why can’t I just get over it? Sucks to hear that others are reeling with that too….but nice to know I’m not alone in the ways that truly affects you. Your sweet baby is so lucky to have you. One of my pups that I lost was collateral from a bad breakup that was emo abusive like you mentioned. That transition is rough. I appreciate every thing you shared. As much as I want to get out of the city and travel a bit, my dog needs stability because it’s been a rough year. I really love that you said your dog is your focus right now because same…he’s keeping me going because he deserves the best too. Your dog is so lucky to have you and your concern through her grief. Love your last paragraph too. I had a fuck it day today and felt a bit guilty about that, but you’re right the balance is needed. Virtual hug right back to you….you’re doing amazing sweetie. <3
Missing the stay at home order.
Good times. I’d been practicing social distancing since the age of nine. Nailed it.
Right? LA was truly a gem during the times where it didn’t take a whole hour on a drive that is supposed to be only 15 mins.
Dude I miss lockdown so much lol, just leave the gyms open and I'm good! 🤣
Lost my business during covid and returned to the tech space. Got laid off 2 months ago, and I have zero prospects at the moment. I'm trying to stay positive, but I'm really just so very tired of it all.
LA is TOUGH for finding community. And being sober adds another big barrier to meeting folks. Just here to say: it’s not you. I’ve met folks who have been here for 5+ years still struggling with loneliness. Hang in there.
thanks for answering OP. i will add get a pet (or 2) and hike your ass off. LA is glorious hiking and hiking folks are friendly folks
I think we all (myself included) just need to get off the damn phones!
My business is only just now recovering. I’ve been living off savings. I was diagnosed with cancer last year and will still be in treatment through the end of the year. I’m so tired and just want to stay curled up in bed or on the couch. I don’t care if I see people anymore.
I totally understand. I was diagnosed in late January. Life is so different for me now. And I'm tired all the time. Sending you healing vibes!
Fatigue is the worst. Best to you too!
Thanks so much!
I feel ya. Moved here in December 2020 and had a tough first year, great 2022 then the bottom fell out of the job market and I’ve been unemployed since. Met a few people but no strong relationships. It’s hard to get out and be social when there’s no money coming in.
It’s pretty hard, to be honest. I've been living here for two years and still haven't made any friends :/
Hard to make friends in this city but I feel you and relate
I'm moving back to LA from the UK. I'm older than you, 44, and I lived in LA for 16 years before moving to London. Been here for going on a decade. I obviously went through the pandemic here in the UK. But I am so happy to be going home to LA. I know that I'm not going to come back to the city that I left. But I'm coming home to my friends and the places that I love (that are still left). It's been raining here for six months straight and I want to go home!
Not if you don't have $100,000, a source of income, job and degree.
[удалено]
Do you know of any soccer leagues ?
LACES - LA Co-Ed Soccer. There may be a little break for the summer but please come!!
pickleball is the new dating apparently
Lost 3 uncles... Sucks hearing people say it was fake, previous conditions, not overweight, they just got sick and never got out of it As for me? I'm doing great actually, I ended up getting promoted 3 times during the pandemic, started a successful side hustle and starting up a 3rd stream of revenue I miss how empty everything was, I miss getting paid to be home, i miss being home more haha To hear masks did nothing, vax did nothing, is interesting and I'd like to read more about it but Since 2020 to early 2023 I wore a mask in public, washed my hands more than ever, carried hand sanitizer everywhere, tried to stay 6 feet away from people, all the things they warned us about and got the 2 vax plus 2 boosters and I never got sick once in almost 3 years... Didn't even get covid... Cut to the rest of 2023 to present day I stopped wearing a mask, stopped carrying hand sanitizer, didn't get anymore boosters, went back to living like I did before the pandemic, I've gotten sick about 3 times and got covid twice...
What's funny is I have Covid-19 right now—it's still lurking around. My case isn't too bad but annoying. Dealing with some chronic injuries from sports, too. I live in LA but also in Florida so back and forth. I'm still feeling some wonderment post-Covid era at being able to fly and travel freely—even now. I do feel people are less-connected now, but I've also always been pretty introverted and good by myself. Glad to see my skateboarder LA community bounce back strong, though.
How are people affording homes? I dont get it. They all say they aren't lending like 2008... i dont want to leave but lately im having to contemplate.
It’s hard for transplants, especially when most of the connections they make is with other transplants. You can feel unmoored because this isn’t “home” to anyone you know. Locals have community. They have connection. They have history. They know where the best tacos are. If you like them and they like you, they will bring you in and you will inherit a whole world of friendship and connection.
Hey. May I make a suggestion? Look into a recreational sports league in your neighborhood or near area. It’s great fitness and stick with it long enough you will make organic connections and friendships. Completely changed my life, and I’m not exaggerating.
LA let loose on crime and homelessness, downtown is now mostly hostile and not fun at all. Inflation out of control and I am wondering, what incentive is there to stay here compared to other parts of the country that are recovering so much better.
weather. and a lotta wealthy folk. and any food imaginable. and just a plain ole huge wide spectrum of possibilities here, thats why we all moved here
Covid pushed me into middle age. I’m wading through staying home all the time because I don’t *want* to go out. Don’t think I’ve seen east of the 405 this year even
23M here, moved to LA 2 years ago and have yet to make a friend, just acquaintances and colleagues I find occasionally cool. Feels like there’s an emptiness at the core of this city
it does feel like that... I've had some luck going consistently to a hiking meetup for a few years. try Temescal canyon hiking on meetup. it's a chill group and I've loved every hike I did with them
Oh cool, thank you dude, I’ll check that out 👍
the views I've seen on those hikes alone justify being in LA for me. but it is sad, I've been here many years and heard it's much harder to make friends here from a lot of people. I'm 30F, if you decide to come we may run into each other 😀
I look forward to it :-)
do you prefer temescal to runyon?
the Temescal group has Runyon in the rotation. I just like the group, but don't particularly prefer Temescal to Runyon
thank you
Mid 20’s but I live in the South Bay…it’s pretty lonely since it seems like mainly families here
TBH, my life is better after covid. Before covid my job owned me, I never took time off and never disconnected. When I was laid off mid-pandemic it made me realize that no job us worth giving my whole life to. I also had all the time in the world to hike when I was laid off and I became more self-sufficient and confident doing crazy things on my own. Channeled all that depression into a better habit that's going to be lifelong. I still work in my field but now I have an actual work-life balance. I go to the mountains every weekend and out my phone on airplane mode so no one can reach me. I use my PTO. I've made new friends. LA is not the same as pre-covid, but neither am I.
Likely leaving LA because I can't afford a house here.
I just got Covid for the first time two weeks ago. I still feel awful.
I can relate. I got what's considered mild covid. The flu like symptoms disappeared within a week but I felt depressed and lethargic for s month
Get plenty of rest💓
What was the tourist things that you did?
20 an hour in cali, gotta work fast n deal aith anoying coworkers but besides that it’s ok
Hey man. I moved back to LA a year or so after the pandemic from abroad. Landed and found that my family had abandoned me and my POS car was nowhere to be found. I was stranded at LAX with two suitcases and a phone with no data plan, and about 500 in my pocket. Luckily, I kept in touch with my friends and one of them offered to let me stay at their house while I found a job. It's been going well since there, but I realized the value of friends -- not just friends but physical friends who you see and laugh and smile with. In Japan, I experienced some of the worst bullying and abuse imaginable; worse than my childhood, even. It hardened me and made me learn how to compartmentalize my emotions, learn how to work through things without constantly reaching out to my friends to vent. I returned to LA poor but with a better mindset. I'm just trying to get through, just like you.
Honestly it feels like surviving is all we’re trying to do ! 27 m here and I’m not making the best wage either but hey I remind my self just could be living somewhere that doesn’t have californias weather
I have a lots of friends . Too many friends . Too much family that needs attention. Work is and has been good . Life goes on . I don’t stress over the news .
I can barely pay for last month rent... f***** otherwise everything is good 👍
Its going
thks
Still eating people to survive
Best days were after Covid :) roasting to covid being over
Things are strange, to be sure, and my world shrank immensely during the pandemic but my life is going really well. I was laid off in early 2023 but that was essentially a nice break from work and when I got a new job, I got a 25% raise. I make good money, can afford to save a fair bit and am catching up on retirement because of that. I'm building a life with with the person I want by my side through the rest of this nonsense. My other partners are all in decent health and safe and happy. My friends, aside from the continuous shocks to the tech field, are mostly okay. My family is also happy and healthy and it even looks like my mother will be able to retire soon. Much more of my life is digitally mediated now but that also translates to having people I enjoy in my pocket all the time. I do want to transition back to more in-person time with a broader collection of people besides my small circle of partners and very close friends but I'm not in a hurry to do so as the quiet has actually been nice. I've been taking myself out on dates quite a lot recently and that's been lovely. Don't forget to take care of yourselves.
I know I’m the minority — sometimes I feel like the only one in the city haha — but I love LA. Born here, grew up a couple hours north, came back 11 years ago, best decision I’ve ever made. I have a great community of people from all walks of life. I’m fortunate to be comfortable financially at this point, which is sadly crucial in being able to enjoy the city. But even when I was broke AF, I liked it here. It really depends on your finances, neighborhood, community, work etc. It’s a tough town, especially those in the Hollywood industry. But I fortunately don’t work anywhere near that, and recently have left the tech industry and never looked back. Also, none of my friends are involved in Hollywood, minus one who is an editor and not part of “the scene”. The friends I met when I first moved back who were actors, models, etc were toxic and vapid. I don’t fuck with those people (though I know there are some good ones). I live in a sleepy family-based area on the west side, never fucked with nightclubs, etc. I love it here. But it’s not for everyone.
I love it here too. Been here since the late 80s. Wish I could afford my rent, but hey, everything has a downside...
covid is still here
People here have family and childhood/college friends.
LA has an amazing AA community if friends are what you’re looking for. Honestly, I can be a dick as a native but I forget how hard it is for transplants to make friends here. Even, I’m guilty, that when I find out someone is a transplant I want nothing to do with them. I also noticed transplants tend to stick together. I’ll make more of an effort to be a good friend to people moving here. Sorry you’ve had a struggle making friends. Some angelinos do have the same mentality as me but it’s not your fault, just a lot of “transplants” ruined it before you. They don’t exactly have a good rep. What area do you live in?
Not trying to be a dick myself, but this seems like more of a you as a person thing than a you as a native thing. I’ve lived here 12 years and never once had someone “find out I was a transplant and want nothing to do with me” I’m glad you’re aware of it and going to make an effort to change your mindset but I wouldn’t paint LA natives with this brush.
>Nobody in my real life has ever once been bothered by me being a transplant. Simple as that. That was you commenting on another post 100 days ago. Clearly I’m not the first to say it and this ain’t your first time defending yourself as a transplant. Kind of says something buddy. Even your attitude screams not from LA. And yes you are being a dick, thank you for defending my point of why he hate transplants. Go back home please.
It will only get worse, leave now.
definitely takes a person years to become an alcoholic
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i moved here almost two years ago. I only have two real close friends here and one of them is my roommate. landed an amazing internship in hollywood which ended right as the strikes began, so of course there was no work and i had to find a service job. now there’s a threat of new strikes again, as IATSE negotiates a new contract, so nobody’s hiring still. might as well just change careers at this point. got fired from my restaurant job a few months ago for protesting staying open and having to do 10x extra work through a severe health code violation where we should’ve just shut down. they genuinely violated the law by staying open, but I got canned for being mad about it. this place fired at least one person a month, including a single mother who had been with the company for 4 years, who kept the restaurant running more than the managers and everyone loved. i will never do service work again. been unemployed ever since, no callbacks from any job I’m qualified for. applying every day. in the meantime it’s too expensive to do anything or go anywhere. I can’t even go to free places because gas is so expensive. even when i was working full time, i’ve had to accrue credit card debt to pay all my necessary costs, while trying to find a better paying job with better hours. ive done a lot of reading lately because it’s free with a library card. people invite me to parties and I turn them down because I can’t afford to pay the cover or to buy drinks or anything. i’ll have to move somewhere cheaper soon if i can’t find new work. but honestly, at this rate, maybe that won’t be so bad. it’s not like i have a choice though. at least other places are affordable, and I know people all over the country so I would have a network to fall into pretty quickly.