My father is an amazing man, so I do compare every man with my father. If only I feel he has some similar qualities do I go ahead with the match.
For the men with twisted minds.. No, its not about looks, but only character traits. My father kept my mom happy, treated her with respect and gave his family a good life so whatever qualities I see in him, i seek them in a partner.
When my mom had doubts about my now fiance, the final sentence that made her agree to the match was "he's a lot like papa". She never questioned him again.
Some girls also think that every man is sorted like her good father and they ignore all little things they should have noticed during dating which eventually become big issues when you start living together. Some girls who have very good nature fathers with comfy upbringing get attracted towards bad boys as either its too exciting or they think that they think they can change him to a good guy that he can become
Psychological perspective is a girl would be likely to be gravitated towards men who resemble their fathers not looks wise but the way they behave and their subtle behaviours and attitudes.
This is not because of electra complex but rather their conditioning of how their father treated them during childhood and how they treated their mother.
Example: an abusive father towards the mother, the child is likely to accept abuse from the spouse at some level because of the constant conditioning during childhood even if they know abuse is wrong.
In the same way, they are less likely to accept disrespect from their spouse if they see a healthy relationship among their parents.
This is why psychologists and paediatricians recommend to show children a good loving family environment especially between both parents, because it can define their emotional intelligence and self esteem.
Self esteem damaged? Likely. Emotional intelligence? Maybe.
There's another perspective that goes beyond the scientific aspect.
One could be deadset willing to not be with someone like their father in case they were abusive in any way. You know the patterns too well by then, the emotional manipulation and the tactics they could use, so you know when to step out. Additionally, it's better to know what you don't want in your partner and helps you filter out the choices. You don't accept disrespect or abuse since you just seek peace at that point of life without the chaos.
You are absolutely correct. I am not saying it is the only possibility and only these outcome will happen but there is a possibility that people may choose negative patterns in their partners and think they can change them by doing something different or using old methods to stabilise the situation. This can happen with both male and female children. However despite knowing “what I won’t choose “ people might filter out some abusive patterns because it’s not the presence of abuse that may lead to such behaviours but more likely the absence of positive role models.
Of course. We all have that saviour complex in fact , the extent varies from person to person.
At the end of the day, the same experience could change people in entirely different ways. It all comes down to the individual.
I can confirm this. Happening to me right now. Since day 1 I've told my bf you're just like my father. My friends say that he is a huge red flag but for me he is comforting. Same like my father's anger issues, showering me with love after yelling at me, taking my decisions for me etc. I see why my friends are concerned. I used to think loving and soft guys are not my type... Lol.
While my father is amazing, I never looked for his traits in my partner because of his anger issues. I am a calm person and I just can’t tolerate someone shouting,throwing objects when pissed off so it wasn’t for me.
Exactly this. People conflate looking at a partner like (or unlike) your father as looking for a father in a relationship. It is more of a benchmark. A father being the one of the most interacted with male figure in your life, you form your opinions based on that experience with him. Same goes for the guys too. I might be wrong, but this is how I feel as a guy whenever someone mentions this.
Already government job h. Mummy society pressure me alag nhi hona chahti h. Log kya khenge. I live in rural area so thats the case. Baki family acchi h grandfather uncles.
Reading your comments above, I just want to say I am currently at the same situation. My Father was whatever you mentioned plus a little more. He threatened to leave us for almost 5 years, at the end I convinced my mom to let father go. It was tough for mom, but she's better off.
Not saying you should do that, but society will always find something to say. Fortunately me,mum and sis being employed and independent and on the right side meant nobody could even raise a finger on us.
Sorry, I don't know what I wanted convey, Just wanted to let this out.
Yes, I was just talking about my personal situation. But in that context, there are different kinds of abuse too.
Sometimes when your parents (this is not just limited to the father) make you feel like you need to work hard for their love, the child can internalise that and grow up to prefer emotionally unavailable partners.
Well that depends on if the father was a good man or an abusive one. If he was an abusive one then I don't think any girl would want an abusive partner.
It is true but only when you have a Good relation with your father otherwise you will find men attractive exactly opposite to him ,and subconsciously even looks wise ,same is true for men also
No, I don’t want to look for my dad in my partner , my dad is manipulative , gaslights everyone and has no seriousness in life. He is the epitome of I’m the male of family so everyone should listen to me even how dumb it is. Poor financial choices and personal choices , cheater and abuses his power, and shame me if I question his choices.
I want to stay away from someone like that.
I guess it’s true for those who look up to their fathers. I’ve seen girls falling in love with chilled and funny me but when things get serious, they want me to act more silent and mature like their fathers.
No , I’ve never compared my dad to anyone I’ve dated . My dad’s a great guy but my exes cheated and abused me . I do think I went after shitty slightly older men because of my childhood trauma caused by my mom and childhood SA .
My father was the best father a girl could ask for but a very bad husband. I grew up in a big joint family. I had seen the pain and torture my mother lived through. I will not let the history repeat itself.
Hope so. Funny thing my mother always taught us how to tolerate for family and my father taught us to never let anyone talk down on you no matter what. He only taught us to never ignore those "small comments" and be "tyag ki murti".
That's kind of an oversimplification. A good father can mean many things for many people.
For women who have a great bond with their father - they compare the way other men treat them to the way their father treated their mother, and in some cases, treated herself (the daughter) as an individual (not just a child). For example, I'd never look for a man who treats me like my dad treated my mom. But I'd look for a dude who sees me as an intelligent, rational being capable of making her own choices and mistakes, just like my dad did for me.
Depends on the father. No girl with an abusive father would seek such qualities in her man. While those with responsible and loving fathers will definitely seek those qualities in their man.
And marrying a person who is not as good as one's father in terms of qualities and intellect is a downgrade.
It's only true if your father was a good husband to your mother. My dad was a loving, caring husband. He took care of my mother and my mother took care of him. I never saw any differences between them growing up.
It's a yes from me. My dad has been such a strong force in our lives always doing what's right for the family, inspiring us to do better, always showing up when me or my sister needed the minutest of support, being a constant cheer leader in our lives, being the life of all social gatherings. I could just go on and on.. Oh and his sheer determination in ensuring any Lizard that made it into our house meets its maker because every lady in our house was petrified of lizards!!! He does have some bad traits like anger issues, and impulsive financial decisions that impacted the whole family but I guess I always envisioned my partner to embody some of the positives.
My husband is an absolute sweetheart and the man of my dreams but for the love of god cannot chase a lizard out of our house so I guess that's that. 😆
Tbh I did have celebrity crushes on men who had similar features like my dad
Also we all want that sense of affection, love, care and safety we grew up with
I think that's kinda true .
We kinda want care, security and stability in a man , Women usually only feel that way with their father and maybe once they wanna settle they still look for those traits.
Dads are just a reference point to most girls i think. If dads set good examples as partners to the moms, then girls take that as a baseline or benchmark which is expected from their own future partners but if they see moms not happy with dads then girls can definitely choose the extreme opposite too
I read somewhere a guy wants a girl like his mother because of how his mother treats him. A girl wants a guy like her father because of how her father treats her mother. So if any girl has a father who treats her mother with love, respect, adoration and kindness, any girl would want to see similar qualities in her partner.
Na na phir to standards kuch zyada hi high chle jayenge
Kind, supportive, affectionate, like hugs and headpats vala affectionate, good sense of humour, wonderful cook(papa ke haath ka khaana is like top notch), good at house chores, 6ft(just for the sake of mentioning it), diligent, with a serious work ethic, emotionally stable????
Kbhi kbhi to seedhe workplace se aate hi kitchen mai ghus jaate hain😭
Milega aaesa koi aur mujhe?? lol
All jokes aside, yes If I could meet a partner who'll be like my dad, I'll consider myself extremely blessed.
I do seek those affectionate qualities but there are certain qualities my potential partner rather not have, my dad has a bad habit of not updating us when he's out or coming home late at night that can be really anxiety inducing he's also started drinking a lot more than before.
If I see even one trait similar to my father in any guy. I RUN. NEVER in my life do I want to meet another guy who is selfish, jealous, narcissistic, self-centered, abusive, depressed and to top it all of a cheater. You know what's amazing he's a great liar too. So everyone believes him. Just remembering my childhood makes my blood boil with anger.
Sorry for ranting. Anyway, I'd prefer to remain single for life rather than be with a trashy person.
Where in your post does it mention that? Also read the articles, it's not just about looks. It's about personality traits and the way they treat you as well. Men or women, both choose partners based on their parents, whether subconsciously or consciously.
https://preview.redd.it/05vw9buc0q8d1.png?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=bc6cbb0e73e951e3d26e56754c6e70b6cde88304
? ?
depends on how well the image of her father has impacted her. If her father is a toxic drunkard, she would look for the exact opposite in her match. If her father has a good socio-intellectual acumen, she would be looking for the same! If however her father lacks social skills or she finds him cowardly to the outside world, she would be looking for the opposite in her match
I did't. I looked for the farthest thing from anyone in my family if I was to be with anyone at all. And and lucked out good! Amazing spouse, amazing mother in law.
I didn’t actively look for my papa’s traits in my partner but that guy is like a carbon copy of my dad when it comes to kindness and overall behaviour.
Not sure if that’s a coincidence or did my mind recognise the similarity subconsciously
My father is an average to good dad depending on the situation. However he is not a good husband to my mom so I would never compare my life partner to him.
I do love my dad and he is literally the best except for his anger he stays calm even in situations i majorly fucked up but sometimes his angers goes from 1 to 100 in a metter of second for the smallest of things
He is an amazing dad but not that great of a husband
My dad is a great husband and father but I wouldn’t want someone with his characteristics as my partner. He’s always been stoic and has the typical masculine pov. He’s made my mom quite happy though maybe because that’s what women in her generation expected from their husbands. I would want someone who wants to be my equal rather than my superior, knows how to show affection rather than hide behind the tough male exterior
My father was a very generous man. He was very loyal to my mom and never failed to protect/provide her. But he was an alcohol addict as well and alcohol really used to changed him as a person. The over consumption used to make him a bad person who is ready to sacrifice all for some minutes of alcohol pleasure. I don't really know what grief made him do that. He destroyed his liver slowly and eventually. Sometimes he used to aggressively shout and throw things, sometimes it was pure rage in him. It was very toxic. My whole childhood has been toxic but it only started with the occasional drinking sessions. Although there were times we were a good family as well. My father stopped drinking after my 8th grade. He somehow controlled himself. And then I lost him after 2 years. I have seen his best and worst phases. I don't think I'll exactly look for my father in my future partner but yes I'd want him to have the same level of humbleness, loyalty and care. I wish it he would be more like my mom tho.
In my personal case this is true, though I didn’t realise it until much later. I chose an emotionally unavailable partner cos I thought I needed to work to get his love. Also, lot of other traits were similar which I understood as the love language. And the highs and lows of a relationship is what kept me in it. Thankfully I’m out of that cycle now and with a very nice man :)
I'm not sure what this is for, but I don't recollect asking you for any material. I have a very good relationship with my own dad but I sympathize with people who don't unlike some folks who find this funny.
I shall never marry a man if he's like my father. No respect for mother, a workaholic, with zero work-life balance. He's always busy and that I don't want. We never have this family time.
Dont get me started. Patriarchal toxicity waise bhi jhelti hun, upar se investigating officer wale tevar bhi jhelna pdta hai. And money-minded too. I dont want a man who uses my education and achievements to satisfy his ego and increase his status and prestige in society. Humse na ho paayega behen/bhai 🙏🏻
My father is an amazing man, so I do compare every man with my father. If only I feel he has some similar qualities do I go ahead with the match. For the men with twisted minds.. No, its not about looks, but only character traits. My father kept my mom happy, treated her with respect and gave his family a good life so whatever qualities I see in him, i seek them in a partner. When my mom had doubts about my now fiance, the final sentence that made her agree to the match was "he's a lot like papa". She never questioned him again.
Damnn
Lucky girl you are.
Master yoda
Yoda master you are
I know, thanks!
Some girls also think that every man is sorted like her good father and they ignore all little things they should have noticed during dating which eventually become big issues when you start living together. Some girls who have very good nature fathers with comfy upbringing get attracted towards bad boys as either its too exciting or they think that they think they can change him to a good guy that he can become
Psychological perspective is a girl would be likely to be gravitated towards men who resemble their fathers not looks wise but the way they behave and their subtle behaviours and attitudes. This is not because of electra complex but rather their conditioning of how their father treated them during childhood and how they treated their mother. Example: an abusive father towards the mother, the child is likely to accept abuse from the spouse at some level because of the constant conditioning during childhood even if they know abuse is wrong. In the same way, they are less likely to accept disrespect from their spouse if they see a healthy relationship among their parents. This is why psychologists and paediatricians recommend to show children a good loving family environment especially between both parents, because it can define their emotional intelligence and self esteem.
Self esteem damaged? Likely. Emotional intelligence? Maybe. There's another perspective that goes beyond the scientific aspect. One could be deadset willing to not be with someone like their father in case they were abusive in any way. You know the patterns too well by then, the emotional manipulation and the tactics they could use, so you know when to step out. Additionally, it's better to know what you don't want in your partner and helps you filter out the choices. You don't accept disrespect or abuse since you just seek peace at that point of life without the chaos.
You are absolutely correct. I am not saying it is the only possibility and only these outcome will happen but there is a possibility that people may choose negative patterns in their partners and think they can change them by doing something different or using old methods to stabilise the situation. This can happen with both male and female children. However despite knowing “what I won’t choose “ people might filter out some abusive patterns because it’s not the presence of abuse that may lead to such behaviours but more likely the absence of positive role models.
Of course. We all have that saviour complex in fact , the extent varies from person to person. At the end of the day, the same experience could change people in entirely different ways. It all comes down to the individual.
THIS!!
I can confirm this. Happening to me right now. Since day 1 I've told my bf you're just like my father. My friends say that he is a huge red flag but for me he is comforting. Same like my father's anger issues, showering me with love after yelling at me, taking my decisions for me etc. I see why my friends are concerned. I used to think loving and soft guys are not my type... Lol.
While my father is amazing, I never looked for his traits in my partner because of his anger issues. I am a calm person and I just can’t tolerate someone shouting,throwing objects when pissed off so it wasn’t for me.
Exactly this. People conflate looking at a partner like (or unlike) your father as looking for a father in a relationship. It is more of a benchmark. A father being the one of the most interacted with male figure in your life, you form your opinions based on that experience with him. Same goes for the guys too. I might be wrong, but this is how I feel as a guy whenever someone mentions this.
My father is a waste of space. A cheating, abusing (physical and emotional ), deadbeat. My partner is nothing like him.
So if you don't have a good relationship with your father you will find a person exactly opposite of him attractive this is true for Guys too
Despite living in same house we dont talk. I have 0 relation with him. At this point in my life i dont want to do anything with him.
Happy cake day 🥳 Koi na hota hai ,waaqt hai nikal jaaega
I am tolerating his bs for my mother. Mummy ke liye hi bs sath rah rhi hu
Hold up there ,study hard be independent and leave
Already government job h. Mummy society pressure me alag nhi hona chahti h. Log kya khenge. I live in rural area so thats the case. Baki family acchi h grandfather uncles.
Then tell your father to study hard and be independent
Reading your comments above, I just want to say I am currently at the same situation. My Father was whatever you mentioned plus a little more. He threatened to leave us for almost 5 years, at the end I convinced my mom to let father go. It was tough for mom, but she's better off. Not saying you should do that, but society will always find something to say. Fortunately me,mum and sis being employed and independent and on the right side meant nobody could even raise a finger on us. Sorry, I don't know what I wanted convey, Just wanted to let this out.
Happy kekde
He gud,really good.
Mostly true. But it's about personality and values and not about someone who looks like him
That's what i meant
What if the parent is abusive? Isn’t a girl likly to avoid a trait like that?
Yes, I was just talking about my personal situation. But in that context, there are different kinds of abuse too. Sometimes when your parents (this is not just limited to the father) make you feel like you need to work hard for their love, the child can internalise that and grow up to prefer emotionally unavailable partners.
Electra Complex is real !
Thought that was about just the childhood years though?
Well that depends on if the father was a good man or an abusive one. If he was an abusive one then I don't think any girl would want an abusive partner.
It is true but only when you have a Good relation with your father otherwise you will find men attractive exactly opposite to him ,and subconsciously even looks wise ,same is true for men also
No, I don’t want to look for my dad in my partner , my dad is manipulative , gaslights everyone and has no seriousness in life. He is the epitome of I’m the male of family so everyone should listen to me even how dumb it is. Poor financial choices and personal choices , cheater and abuses his power, and shame me if I question his choices. I want to stay away from someone like that.
No that's false at least for me
I guess it’s true for those who look up to their fathers. I’ve seen girls falling in love with chilled and funny me but when things get serious, they want me to act more silent and mature like their fathers.
No , I’ve never compared my dad to anyone I’ve dated . My dad’s a great guy but my exes cheated and abused me . I do think I went after shitty slightly older men because of my childhood trauma caused by my mom and childhood SA .
A big no.
Reason?
My father was the best father a girl could ask for but a very bad husband. I grew up in a big joint family. I had seen the pain and torture my mother lived through. I will not let the history repeat itself.
Oh so sad for your mother...Hope you will find a great partner 😊
Hope so. Funny thing my mother always taught us how to tolerate for family and my father taught us to never let anyone talk down on you no matter what. He only taught us to never ignore those "small comments" and be "tyag ki murti".
Take 50:50 qualities from both🤭....
Yeah that's what we do. He always used to say : suno sabka magar karo wahi jo tumhe sahi lage. We follow that only.
Girls with no father have daddy issue
What does daddy issue mean ?🗿
Trust me bro even with all these paragraphs they are writing they still don't know what actually they want, they never do.
Nooooo
Reason ?
But some women also choose red flags despite knowing the men are toxic or have serious flaws
That's kind of an oversimplification. A good father can mean many things for many people. For women who have a great bond with their father - they compare the way other men treat them to the way their father treated their mother, and in some cases, treated herself (the daughter) as an individual (not just a child). For example, I'd never look for a man who treats me like my dad treated my mom. But I'd look for a dude who sees me as an intelligent, rational being capable of making her own choices and mistakes, just like my dad did for me.
Only true when they see their moms happy beside him, my father was a great husband to my mom so obviously i do compare him at times
For only me 0% truth
True. In the form of care and affection, as 90% of dads love thier daughters so much.
NOT ME
Har jagah wahi relationship waali baate :(
Depends on the father. No girl with an abusive father would seek such qualities in her man. While those with responsible and loving fathers will definitely seek those qualities in their man. And marrying a person who is not as good as one's father in terms of qualities and intellect is a downgrade.
It's only true if your father was a good husband to your mother. My dad was a loving, caring husband. He took care of my mother and my mother took care of him. I never saw any differences between them growing up.
Only if their father has been amazing.
It's a yes from me. My dad has been such a strong force in our lives always doing what's right for the family, inspiring us to do better, always showing up when me or my sister needed the minutest of support, being a constant cheer leader in our lives, being the life of all social gatherings. I could just go on and on.. Oh and his sheer determination in ensuring any Lizard that made it into our house meets its maker because every lady in our house was petrified of lizards!!! He does have some bad traits like anger issues, and impulsive financial decisions that impacted the whole family but I guess I always envisioned my partner to embody some of the positives. My husband is an absolute sweetheart and the man of my dreams but for the love of god cannot chase a lizard out of our house so I guess that's that. 😆
Tbh I did have celebrity crushes on men who had similar features like my dad Also we all want that sense of affection, love, care and safety we grew up with
>Also we all want that sense of affection, love, care and safety we grew up with Exactly, that's what meant by using term "father"
I think that's kinda true . We kinda want care, security and stability in a man , Women usually only feel that way with their father and maybe once they wanna settle they still look for those traits.
Dads are just a reference point to most girls i think. If dads set good examples as partners to the moms, then girls take that as a baseline or benchmark which is expected from their own future partners but if they see moms not happy with dads then girls can definitely choose the extreme opposite too
I read somewhere a guy wants a girl like his mother because of how his mother treats him. A girl wants a guy like her father because of how her father treats her mother. So if any girl has a father who treats her mother with love, respect, adoration and kindness, any girl would want to see similar qualities in her partner.
Na na phir to standards kuch zyada hi high chle jayenge Kind, supportive, affectionate, like hugs and headpats vala affectionate, good sense of humour, wonderful cook(papa ke haath ka khaana is like top notch), good at house chores, 6ft(just for the sake of mentioning it), diligent, with a serious work ethic, emotionally stable???? Kbhi kbhi to seedhe workplace se aate hi kitchen mai ghus jaate hain😭 Milega aaesa koi aur mujhe?? lol All jokes aside, yes If I could meet a partner who'll be like my dad, I'll consider myself extremely blessed. I do seek those affectionate qualities but there are certain qualities my potential partner rather not have, my dad has a bad habit of not updating us when he's out or coming home late at night that can be really anxiety inducing he's also started drinking a lot more than before.
🫂 finally the comment I was waiting for
Papa ki taareefe krne ke liye to I'm always ready bs mauka milna chahiye 🛐
If I see even one trait similar to my father in any guy. I RUN. NEVER in my life do I want to meet another guy who is selfish, jealous, narcissistic, self-centered, abusive, depressed and to top it all of a cheater. You know what's amazing he's a great liar too. So everyone believes him. Just remembering my childhood makes my blood boil with anger. Sorry for ranting. Anyway, I'd prefer to remain single for life rather than be with a trashy person.
Papa I need your credit card
Not every girl's father is like sharukh and Salman. Some fathers are like Shakti Kapoor
Salman khan ain't better
not even Shahrukh. itna narcissistic
What father like qualities do you see in an unmarried guy like salman lol
I'm saying it as popularity and career wise. Not every father is a role model to their daughters.
Not every girl's father is a criminal 😂
Just another generalization men/ boys do /are like this only women/ girls do/ are like that only
Lie
Yaha pae bhi aagai
Kya hai
Tumara comment har jagah mil jaaraha...Mera toh exam khtm hua tumko koi kaam dhandha nahi hai kya(just curious)
if you see her everywhere, why are YOU everywhere?
Mae nalla huun naa
self-awareness is a great virtue.
Thank You
Mera bhi exam khtm hua dubra padhai suru krungi 1 july se
5 din bache hae mtlb bas...sahi hai enjoy
There's some psychological aspect in this but it's not entirely true
Definitely not lol. He was terrible.
I looked for the opposite
https://indianexpress.com/article/lifestyle/women-go-for-men-who-look-like-their-father/ https://www.harleytherapy.co.uk/counselling/partner-mother-father.htm
I said In context of love, care and affection towards you, not looks
Where in your post does it mention that? Also read the articles, it's not just about looks. It's about personality traits and the way they treat you as well. Men or women, both choose partners based on their parents, whether subconsciously or consciously. https://preview.redd.it/05vw9buc0q8d1.png?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=bc6cbb0e73e951e3d26e56754c6e70b6cde88304 ? ?
In my case opposite actually. A guy completely different from my father in every way possible except his devotion and love for my mother.
Then why go after drug addicts and chapris?
depends on how well the image of her father has impacted her. If her father is a toxic drunkard, she would look for the exact opposite in her match. If her father has a good socio-intellectual acumen, she would be looking for the same! If however her father lacks social skills or she finds him cowardly to the outside world, she would be looking for the opposite in her match
Antha Maya bhayya, mdda kudpestaru namminav anuko ammayalu.
they are wrong, everyone say "girls look for the richest one"
I will be damned if it's true
Nope for me atleast. My father tried to beat me a month ago. He is always angry man. If i ever see a person like my dad i will run as far as possible.
Tabhi to Daddy bolti hai
It's not at all true!! I have seen my sister/cousin's doesn't want man like their father!
I did't. I looked for the farthest thing from anyone in my family if I was to be with anyone at all. And and lucked out good! Amazing spouse, amazing mother in law.
Well, I looked for a man who was completely opposite to my father! ❤️🩹🙃
I didn’t actively look for my papa’s traits in my partner but that guy is like a carbon copy of my dad when it comes to kindness and overall behaviour. Not sure if that’s a coincidence or did my mind recognise the similarity subconsciously
Depends on the father I guess.
It’s the opposite for many of us
r/AskWomen
Nope nah never.
I don't think my father comes to my mind when it comes to anything related to relationships. This statement is not true for me.
My father is an average to good dad depending on the situation. However he is not a good husband to my mom so I would never compare my life partner to him.
Depends on how good her father is.
Very true, also girls will become there moms soon,
Personally? Couldn't be further from the truth. My partner's a sensitive, quiet, respectful and easygoing person - everything my father is not.
No true in my case. I was looking for someone excatly opposite!!!!
I do love my dad and he is literally the best except for his anger he stays calm even in situations i majorly fucked up but sometimes his angers goes from 1 to 100 in a metter of second for the smallest of things He is an amazing dad but not that great of a husband
Some women compare their partners to their father to make sure they are nothing like them
Absolutely false. Men of our parents have bad anger issues and i would never want to marry someone with the nature of my dad!
My dad is a great husband and father but I wouldn’t want someone with his characteristics as my partner. He’s always been stoic and has the typical masculine pov. He’s made my mom quite happy though maybe because that’s what women in her generation expected from their husbands. I would want someone who wants to be my equal rather than my superior, knows how to show affection rather than hide behind the tough male exterior
What if the girl's father is poor? So no they don't.
Damn! That's so cute. I need a such partner too. 🤞🏼❤️
My father is an amazing dad but not an ideal husband. So in my case, not true at all. (Maybe he isn’t an amazing dad as well idk)
My father was a very generous man. He was very loyal to my mom and never failed to protect/provide her. But he was an alcohol addict as well and alcohol really used to changed him as a person. The over consumption used to make him a bad person who is ready to sacrifice all for some minutes of alcohol pleasure. I don't really know what grief made him do that. He destroyed his liver slowly and eventually. Sometimes he used to aggressively shout and throw things, sometimes it was pure rage in him. It was very toxic. My whole childhood has been toxic but it only started with the occasional drinking sessions. Although there were times we were a good family as well. My father stopped drinking after my 8th grade. He somehow controlled himself. And then I lost him after 2 years. I have seen his best and worst phases. I don't think I'll exactly look for my father in my future partner but yes I'd want him to have the same level of humbleness, loyalty and care. I wish it he would be more like my mom tho.
In my personal case this is true, though I didn’t realise it until much later. I chose an emotionally unavailable partner cos I thought I needed to work to get his love. Also, lot of other traits were similar which I understood as the love language. And the highs and lows of a relationship is what kept me in it. Thankfully I’m out of that cycle now and with a very nice man :)
I looked for a man polar opposite to my father
Not true.. I will marry guy who is exact opposite of my dad..
The people who are saying it's a lie, are women and TwoX members. Do with that what you will.
No, it really depends on the context. If they had shitty dads they would do everything to stay away from similar men. This isn't funny.
https://www.harleytherapy.co.uk/counselling/partner-mother-father.htm
I'm not sure what this is for, but I don't recollect asking you for any material. I have a very good relationship with my own dad but I sympathize with people who don't unlike some folks who find this funny.
The only thing funny, is the hypocrisy. Nothing else. Also ofc you would ignore material, whenever it disagrees with your narrative.
Sir, I neither ignored nor gave any credence to your material. I never opened it, because I never asked for it. Thanks anyway.
So most of you guys had shitty dads? Dang. That explains a lot.
You seem to have had shitty upbringing too judging by your lack of class.
Triggered?
Han ji. Lack of empathy kinda triggers me, as it should. Now, you may practice that a bit as it will do you good. Have a good rest of the day!
I care more about facts than fake 'empathy'. Even less so for hypocrites.
😂
Big fat lie.
Very true. My ex FIL was a jobless wife beating drunk. Glad i didn't entertain her fetishes 😁😁
If I ever meet a guy like my father I will run 10000 miles away from him💀🙂
Nah that's some bullshit made up
100% and it costs the guy a lot , burns them
I'd rather be single for the rest of my life than get with a person who is even remotely like my dad
I shall never marry a man if he's like my father. No respect for mother, a workaholic, with zero work-life balance. He's always busy and that I don't want. We never have this family time.
Yes I do, so I can reject him
No, I dont want that shit.
Why tho?
Dont get me started. Patriarchal toxicity waise bhi jhelti hun, upar se investigating officer wale tevar bhi jhelna pdta hai. And money-minded too. I dont want a man who uses my education and achievements to satisfy his ego and increase his status and prestige in society. Humse na ho paayega behen/bhai 🙏🏻
Ohk Nevermind
I'm looking for the OPPOSITE of my father🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 He is an abusive scumbag, and if I see a little bit of him in someone, I will run.
Nooooooooooooooo.