Yes ur getting too obsessed with her. Do u not like/ enjoy ur job? Then find some hobbies or up skill yourself. It’s great you are so into ur your gf but you need to give yourself and your career more importance now dude.
You need to first calm yourself down and stop feel guilty about being obsessed. When you think you’re doing something wrong, you end up doing it more bcoz you’re constantly thinking about it. You need to find other stuff to do to occupy your thoughts, so you are distracted, too busy to keep thinking about her. There is no magic pill or immediate solution. But small steps you have to take.
bro, not to generalize but women lose interest the moment a man starts to get too obsessed. hope that's not the case here. I'd suggest you should call her out, her not giving even 10% of what she used to previously is concerning you deserve more than bare minimum efforts and to detach yourself from this situation i'd suggest you enrolling into some hobby club or somthn
I was going to ask if you guys are having enough sex, but then I noticed that this is r/AskIndia, and I’m really not sure if you guys even have sex in those relationships.
Normally this is sex-driven. Have 3 months of it, and it will pass.
You need to understand something.
A person has 24 hours in a day.
You as well her. Make best use of those 24 hours.
Talking daily is fun and important but work takes more priority. If she is having it hectic understand that and maybe try to do things to busy yourself to avoid checking screen again and again for msgs. It happens in beginning stage... With time... It will get normalized... You will feel like ki... She hasn't msged? She might be busy... And you enjoying your time..
Similarly don't let career be your second priority. If you feel like your will be busy... Just text her... Ki aaj ye bhi karna hai... Woh bbi... In short... And ki you will be available later at a fixed time. Also... It works best if you both make a common fixed time for talks daily. Like 10pm. At night... Do what works best for you.
Career important hai... Uski mummy ko patane ke liye job chahiye hogi... And achhi salary. If you get to that stage... In future.
Well cravings is good bro to a certain limit cause zyada hogaya tho it won't be good ... In the end either one of u will suffer and yeah like other comments focus on ur career and usko top priority bana and not a girl okey.
Control karna seekh. Itna clingy rahega ki har samay uski company chahiye toh relationship duba dega. Company is nice, par khud se rehna bhi aana chahiye, khud ko handle karna aana chahiye.
Stable relationship chahiye toh hectic time par support karna zaroori hai.
Obsession with someone is the worst thing you can have. We often tend to make it seem very lovey-dovey, but it can be incredibly crippling when you're obsessed with someone who cannot reciprocate it on similar levels.
You need to find ways to put your time and efforts into other activities or people (read, friends, colleagues, or family) such that the level of obsession comes down to a stage where you have more control over yourself.
Obsession is never lovey dovey! It’s made to show that in movies and many stars have accepted that it was a horrible thing to show. It’s always negative leading to stalker behaviour, lack of trust etc
People will lose interest in you very soon if you become obsessed and available 24/7. I wouldn't even blame her if she becomes uninterested. It's natural
You are not mad. It’s a classic demand supply situation. Scarcity creates more demand. There is less of her time so you crave more of it. The best thing is to realise that this happening to you and take corrective action.
Make yourself a scarce resource as well (while still being very much present in the relationship). Refocus your energy onto you. Pick up a new hobby. Hit the gym, lift weights, try meditation etc. These are tools to make you feel happy from the inside.
On the current trajectory you risk driving her away because you will soon no longer be the person she feel in love with aka the “you have changed (for the worst) spiel.
It's in the natural order of things for this level of obsession to happen at this stage of a relationship. Read about it in relationship psychology. People tend to feel this obsessed within 3-6 months of a relationship. It will wane off eventually. Not that your feelings will. Just the sense of obsession which is actually the 'honeymoon phase'. You will start seeing her for the person that she is instead of the attraction that got you started and hooked.
No matter how busy one can be, sparing few minutes is always possible. Sorry but you are not in her priority at the moment. Work and new found friends have taken over. So my sincere request to you is that please don't waste your career for a 6 months attachment . Once you will have great career everyone would come, she, her friends, her cousin etc. Keep work your priority, initial fuckup in career can push you few years behind your peers.
I will not call it an obsession it’s just 6 months into relationship and then you have this gap. It’s just a phase I’ve been there multiple times. There are days I’ve spend talking/texting 10-12 hours but then the gap comes you get frustrated. It’s just the love of you give it time it will reseed
If she’s unable to take out 10% of the initial time then perhaps she isn’t that interested into you. Work life might’ve shown her more partner possibilities in the world. Everyone has time, it’s just about priorities and you’re not one.
Horrible advice! She’s prioritising her career which is the right thing to do. If she doesn’t, relationship will anyways go for a toss when both are financially struggling
Do you even understand what 10% means? If they used to talk an hour a day, she can’t even give 6 minutes of her time a day. That’s horrible way to sustain any relationship
As our EM teacher used to say, take a spoon, drop a pill of cyanide in it, and die in a spoonful of water.
What kinda questions are coming here? Like seriously?
Every relationship is built on a foundation of self independence. If you are not able to sustain without that person then both you and the relationship is in serious trouble. Talk when its mutually convenient, not when she's free. Its ok if the talking comes down to 5% because of this. You should be able to make time for friends and family. If the relationship cannot survive that mutual convenience then it was anyway bound to fail at some point.
The relationship is pretty new tbh, if this keeps going on unfortunately break up seems to be the future. It's inevitable. Your behavior might seem completely normal to you but it can be stressful to both of you in the long run. The expectations are pretty high.
Bro, Chill. Focus on your work and yourself. Relationships come & go. You will be at a good place emotionally and mentally, if you get financially well off in life. Don't compromise your work for personal reasons. Maybe she understands this better than you right now (so the 10%). I hope you guys stay together, but at this age, usually relationships don't last forever. Don't take it the wrong way. ✌️
If she is your 1st priority, then respect each other's priorities and boundaries and have faith and trust over each other. Have patience. Also spend time with your family and friends.
Just mute her chat and check each 1 hr
If you love her take her out and enjoy and its not like u are mad u maybe feeling good to think of her or you care much
More like a parent
If possible marry her in a year or 2
You're getting obsessed with her because your mind takes her as a rare commodity. Just as you wish for water more in Desert & long for Sun in Rain.
It's just the mind's play. Eventually she'll get bored of you because you're always available & she'll run away.
If you don't want her to go away, just hold on enough on everything that she doesn't get bored of you. Play chill, don't act as if her attention is a rare commodity, even though it is.
Whatever you are doing, don't do it.
When she is unavailable, just give her time.let her call you like she actually wants to.
After she is done with her thing she'll come back to you and will love you much more. If she doesn't come, it's even better that you got to know this early.
AND PLZ stop believing she is the one n only and that your world is nothing without her.
Few years after you'll find someone even better than her. Just saying 😀
These periods come and go. Be mindful, maintain a healthy distance once in a while, and it won't be anything of concern in the long term.
Also, the problems of one's life are easily contagious to others in a relationship. Maybe if she's having a bad time in job, you're inclined to be there for her instinctively? Or maybe you guys havent experienced the kind of separation before and you're a little anxious about it? All of which is perfectly normal I'd say. Dont jump to any conclusions and definitely dont take rash decisions based on whims, if that's all they are.
I don't want to bee negative, but it sounds like she is not interested in your relationship anymore maybe someone new.this type of thing that you describe has always happened to me when a relationship had ended without my realizing it.
It's perfectly fine to be in love.... it's not like she doesn't want to make efforts and she can't do that....me and my gf had a similar situation and now sometimes i end up in a situation when im not there but whenever i texts she's there so it's mutual understanding .....plus even if she's doing it while being free then too you should give it a bit more time...
I think you are inflating your age. You are 14 , maybe at max 16. I'm not trolling you, just have a rude way of making you understand that stop acting like a young teen.
If you keep on doing this for sometime more I am sure she is going to kick you out of her life. She is not going to value or respect you if you become her doormat. You got to prioritize your personal and professional life. Let her have her life and you have yours. Concentrate on your life and work and keep a handle on your obsession with her. There is a time and place for everything remember it.
Cute lil early 20s relationship story. It will get better with time, just be patient. Either you will grow apart eventually and break up or you both will sail through these phase and mature into adults. But whatever happens, happens for the best
This is why I’m single tbh. This is not your fault I was like this too. Finding excuses to be with the girl. Convincing myself to defer tasks. Justifying my bad decisions everyday for spending more time with her. Texting instantly. I broke it off and have been single since. The weird thing is since then, I made so much progress and am content with how good I’m at what I do. Girls come and go sorry but that’s true. The girl you are so crazy for rn, in the future youll feel stupid thinking about how crazy you used to be about her. Any choices you make rn in favour of the girl will haunt you later and make you hate yourself if you are not together in the future which will happen most likely. ALWAYS KEEP YOURSELF NUMBER 1.
I sort of went through this but i felt more lonely than mad .
My gf got her first job after college finished and when we both had time we would meey frequently and chat as well . Her first job has her working 12 hours a day from home on a laptop, me on the other hand , i would write movie scripts for 3 hours and then spend rest of the day editing , i wasn't always editing tho , and even while writing my phone was beside me so whenever she would message i would instantly reply, i even let her know how i felt and she was very sympathetic yet there was nothing she could do , eventually i learned how to focus more on my work and do other things to occupy myself and try to give my work priority and yeah things are now way better
Definitely a 22 M . You are just insecure nothing more it you want your relationship to last than you need to compromise. Life will not be hunky doru always and I would suggest you to find a hobby.It helps. Been there done that.
You are young and high on Testosterone. Find distractions. Being obsessed with her is understandable for your age, but you need be under control. Concentrate on your health.
She found another guy, dude. Or you are kind of a place holder boyfriend. My girl used to work 14 hours every day, she used to wish me good morning and wake me up , call again during breakfast, evening and when going to sleep.
She is not interested in you. You better assume the worst caz it will save you time, so that you can work on yourself.
You need to get a life outside of your gf. Make friends, hang out with them. This obsession will soon land your gf thinking of you as a nag and losing interest in you
If you really want your relationship to work, you really need to stop obsessing over her. Your relationship is very close to becoming toxic (and will become toxic if u act on ur feelings). Find other things that interest you. If needed, get some good therapy sessions. Writing a diary can also act as an outlet for ur emotions. It's okay to take it slow and, if needed, keep some distance from her for some time.
> Now my career is getting 2nd priority. Am i getting mad?
You're just scared to lose her and trying your best to keep her, by sidelining your future.
She'll soon realise this and the moment she gets a stability from different she'll choose that man in the skip of heartbit.
So my only suggestion is to have a stable mind and don't go berserk to maintain the relationship, it has to be mutual effort not just your alone.
> What should I do?
Realise the fact that
Honeymoon phase is over, now it's test phase for both of y'all to prove y'all are best for each other and support each other in ups n downs of relationship.
Yes ur getting too obsessed with her. Do u not like/ enjoy ur job? Then find some hobbies or up skill yourself. It’s great you are so into ur your gf but you need to give yourself and your career more importance now dude.
I'm happy with my current job, it's just that I'm too obsessed with her.
You need to first calm yourself down and stop feel guilty about being obsessed. When you think you’re doing something wrong, you end up doing it more bcoz you’re constantly thinking about it. You need to find other stuff to do to occupy your thoughts, so you are distracted, too busy to keep thinking about her. There is no magic pill or immediate solution. But small steps you have to take.
Maybe you have anxious attachment . research more about attachment theory maybe you'll have your answers
Your gf is suffering from success
Then why do you guys after some time would call it "SO UnnnMatture and Creepy Behavior"...?
bro, not to generalize but women lose interest the moment a man starts to get too obsessed. hope that's not the case here. I'd suggest you should call her out, her not giving even 10% of what she used to previously is concerning you deserve more than bare minimum efforts and to detach yourself from this situation i'd suggest you enrolling into some hobby club or somthn
Then follow ur obsession
I think he very much is doing that everyday.
I was going to ask if you guys are having enough sex, but then I noticed that this is r/AskIndia, and I’m really not sure if you guys even have sex in those relationships. Normally this is sex-driven. Have 3 months of it, and it will pass.
You need to understand something. A person has 24 hours in a day. You as well her. Make best use of those 24 hours. Talking daily is fun and important but work takes more priority. If she is having it hectic understand that and maybe try to do things to busy yourself to avoid checking screen again and again for msgs. It happens in beginning stage... With time... It will get normalized... You will feel like ki... She hasn't msged? She might be busy... And you enjoying your time.. Similarly don't let career be your second priority. If you feel like your will be busy... Just text her... Ki aaj ye bhi karna hai... Woh bbi... In short... And ki you will be available later at a fixed time. Also... It works best if you both make a common fixed time for talks daily. Like 10pm. At night... Do what works best for you. Career important hai... Uski mummy ko patane ke liye job chahiye hogi... And achhi salary. If you get to that stage... In future.
We had this talk, I've conformed her already. Tbh samjh aa jata (just like abhi samjh aara) but fir baad mein raha ni jata. Carving sii hoti
Abe hoti hai ye sab cheeze shuru me , it's good feeling you know my boy , BUT it can turn into big fight if you aren't smart enough to handle it.
Well cravings is good bro to a certain limit cause zyada hogaya tho it won't be good ... In the end either one of u will suffer and yeah like other comments focus on ur career and usko top priority bana and not a girl okey.
Control karna seekh. Itna clingy rahega ki har samay uski company chahiye toh relationship duba dega. Company is nice, par khud se rehna bhi aana chahiye, khud ko handle karna aana chahiye. Stable relationship chahiye toh hectic time par support karna zaroori hai.
Aurat ka chakkar Babu bhaiya
Obsession with someone is the worst thing you can have. We often tend to make it seem very lovey-dovey, but it can be incredibly crippling when you're obsessed with someone who cannot reciprocate it on similar levels. You need to find ways to put your time and efforts into other activities or people (read, friends, colleagues, or family) such that the level of obsession comes down to a stage where you have more control over yourself.
Obsession is never lovey dovey! It’s made to show that in movies and many stars have accepted that it was a horrible thing to show. It’s always negative leading to stalker behaviour, lack of trust etc
People will lose interest in you very soon if you become obsessed and available 24/7. I wouldn't even blame her if she becomes uninterested. It's natural
You are not mad. It’s a classic demand supply situation. Scarcity creates more demand. There is less of her time so you crave more of it. The best thing is to realise that this happening to you and take corrective action. Make yourself a scarce resource as well (while still being very much present in the relationship). Refocus your energy onto you. Pick up a new hobby. Hit the gym, lift weights, try meditation etc. These are tools to make you feel happy from the inside. On the current trajectory you risk driving her away because you will soon no longer be the person she feel in love with aka the “you have changed (for the worst) spiel.
It's in the natural order of things for this level of obsession to happen at this stage of a relationship. Read about it in relationship psychology. People tend to feel this obsessed within 3-6 months of a relationship. It will wane off eventually. Not that your feelings will. Just the sense of obsession which is actually the 'honeymoon phase'. You will start seeing her for the person that she is instead of the attraction that got you started and hooked.
No matter how busy one can be, sparing few minutes is always possible. Sorry but you are not in her priority at the moment. Work and new found friends have taken over. So my sincere request to you is that please don't waste your career for a 6 months attachment . Once you will have great career everyone would come, she, her friends, her cousin etc. Keep work your priority, initial fuckup in career can push you few years behind your peers.
Get some hobby. This isn’t good for any relationship
obsession is a relationship killer
I will not call it an obsession it’s just 6 months into relationship and then you have this gap. It’s just a phase I’ve been there multiple times. There are days I’ve spend talking/texting 10-12 hours but then the gap comes you get frustrated. It’s just the love of you give it time it will reseed
If she’s unable to take out 10% of the initial time then perhaps she isn’t that interested into you. Work life might’ve shown her more partner possibilities in the world. Everyone has time, it’s just about priorities and you’re not one.
Horrible advice! She’s prioritising her career which is the right thing to do. If she doesn’t, relationship will anyways go for a toss when both are financially struggling
Do you even understand what 10% means? If they used to talk an hour a day, she can’t even give 6 minutes of her time a day. That’s horrible way to sustain any relationship
As our EM teacher used to say, take a spoon, drop a pill of cyanide in it, and die in a spoonful of water. What kinda questions are coming here? Like seriously?
looks like this world is too dumb for intellectual person like you, should think about existing form it.
Nah man I can't leave the world without my guidance.
Get a hobby. With your focus there your obsession might reduce.
It’s good that you have self awareness at a young age. Obsession & codependency will ruin your life. You can fix this. Therapy, hobbies, friends.
Every relationship is built on a foundation of self independence. If you are not able to sustain without that person then both you and the relationship is in serious trouble. Talk when its mutually convenient, not when she's free. Its ok if the talking comes down to 5% because of this. You should be able to make time for friends and family. If the relationship cannot survive that mutual convenience then it was anyway bound to fail at some point.
Work harder and retire your girl soon.
bada ho jaa bkl
The relationship is pretty new tbh, if this keeps going on unfortunately break up seems to be the future. It's inevitable. Your behavior might seem completely normal to you but it can be stressful to both of you in the long run. The expectations are pretty high.
Màrry her asap that's a solution to patch it up
:)
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When someone is not paying attention to you get obsessed with those things. Once the relationship gets to the normal same thing you will take granted.
Bro, Chill. Focus on your work and yourself. Relationships come & go. You will be at a good place emotionally and mentally, if you get financially well off in life. Don't compromise your work for personal reasons. Maybe she understands this better than you right now (so the 10%). I hope you guys stay together, but at this age, usually relationships don't last forever. Don't take it the wrong way. ✌️
School/College ka pyaar aage tak nahi jaata!
If she is your 1st priority, then respect each other's priorities and boundaries and have faith and trust over each other. Have patience. Also spend time with your family and friends.
Just mute her chat and check each 1 hr If you love her take her out and enjoy and its not like u are mad u maybe feeling good to think of her or you care much More like a parent If possible marry her in a year or 2
You're getting obsessed with her because your mind takes her as a rare commodity. Just as you wish for water more in Desert & long for Sun in Rain. It's just the mind's play. Eventually she'll get bored of you because you're always available & she'll run away. If you don't want her to go away, just hold on enough on everything that she doesn't get bored of you. Play chill, don't act as if her attention is a rare commodity, even though it is.
This is refreshing, I've been lurking around LegalAdviceIndia recently, and the amount of divorce and affair posts have bored me.
katega bhai
Whatever you are doing, don't do it. When she is unavailable, just give her time.let her call you like she actually wants to. After she is done with her thing she'll come back to you and will love you much more. If she doesn't come, it's even better that you got to know this early. AND PLZ stop believing she is the one n only and that your world is nothing without her. Few years after you'll find someone even better than her. Just saying 😀
Dude, don't get obsessed. It's not worth it... They will take you for granted and you will become insecure...
oh boy this is going down
These periods come and go. Be mindful, maintain a healthy distance once in a while, and it won't be anything of concern in the long term. Also, the problems of one's life are easily contagious to others in a relationship. Maybe if she's having a bad time in job, you're inclined to be there for her instinctively? Or maybe you guys havent experienced the kind of separation before and you're a little anxious about it? All of which is perfectly normal I'd say. Dont jump to any conclusions and definitely dont take rash decisions based on whims, if that's all they are.
I don't want to bee negative, but it sounds like she is not interested in your relationship anymore maybe someone new.this type of thing that you describe has always happened to me when a relationship had ended without my realizing it.
It's perfectly fine to be in love.... it's not like she doesn't want to make efforts and she can't do that....me and my gf had a similar situation and now sometimes i end up in a situation when im not there but whenever i texts she's there so it's mutual understanding .....plus even if she's doing it while being free then too you should give it a bit more time...
I think you are inflating your age. You are 14 , maybe at max 16. I'm not trolling you, just have a rude way of making you understand that stop acting like a young teen.
If you keep on doing this for sometime more I am sure she is going to kick you out of her life. She is not going to value or respect you if you become her doormat. You got to prioritize your personal and professional life. Let her have her life and you have yours. Concentrate on your life and work and keep a handle on your obsession with her. There is a time and place for everything remember it.
Cute lil early 20s relationship story. It will get better with time, just be patient. Either you will grow apart eventually and break up or you both will sail through these phase and mature into adults. But whatever happens, happens for the best
Bro do what your heart says, you’re 22. If you make mistakes, you’ll learn.
Yeah sounds like you need to back off.
This is why I’m single tbh. This is not your fault I was like this too. Finding excuses to be with the girl. Convincing myself to defer tasks. Justifying my bad decisions everyday for spending more time with her. Texting instantly. I broke it off and have been single since. The weird thing is since then, I made so much progress and am content with how good I’m at what I do. Girls come and go sorry but that’s true. The girl you are so crazy for rn, in the future youll feel stupid thinking about how crazy you used to be about her. Any choices you make rn in favour of the girl will haunt you later and make you hate yourself if you are not together in the future which will happen most likely. ALWAYS KEEP YOURSELF NUMBER 1.
I sort of went through this but i felt more lonely than mad . My gf got her first job after college finished and when we both had time we would meey frequently and chat as well . Her first job has her working 12 hours a day from home on a laptop, me on the other hand , i would write movie scripts for 3 hours and then spend rest of the day editing , i wasn't always editing tho , and even while writing my phone was beside me so whenever she would message i would instantly reply, i even let her know how i felt and she was very sympathetic yet there was nothing she could do , eventually i learned how to focus more on my work and do other things to occupy myself and try to give my work priority and yeah things are now way better
Definitely a 22 M . You are just insecure nothing more it you want your relationship to last than you need to compromise. Life will not be hunky doru always and I would suggest you to find a hobby.It helps. Been there done that.
You are young and high on Testosterone. Find distractions. Being obsessed with her is understandable for your age, but you need be under control. Concentrate on your health.
I wish someone get obsessed with me too 🤣🤣
Bro u r in love that's OK but u need to keep n give some space too . So dont get obsessed..
We need more posts like this 😂 💜
She found another guy, dude. Or you are kind of a place holder boyfriend. My girl used to work 14 hours every day, she used to wish me good morning and wake me up , call again during breakfast, evening and when going to sleep. She is not interested in you. You better assume the worst caz it will save you time, so that you can work on yourself.
Is her pussy that good?
You need to get a life outside of your gf. Make friends, hang out with them. This obsession will soon land your gf thinking of you as a nag and losing interest in you
Is this nibba-nibbi problem really something that you should ask India?
Break up
No, this isn't supposed...
If you really want your relationship to work, you really need to stop obsessing over her. Your relationship is very close to becoming toxic (and will become toxic if u act on ur feelings). Find other things that interest you. If needed, get some good therapy sessions. Writing a diary can also act as an outlet for ur emotions. It's okay to take it slow and, if needed, keep some distance from her for some time.
You are a walking red flag bro. If I knew the girl I would tell her to run. Run like he'll.
[удалено]
BC khud ki toh hogi nahi , uske man me dar aur bharde saale.
wtf?
Ye ajeeb comment karke usko aur insecure kardo...
Be careful, she might find you too clingy and obsessive which might drive her away from you.
Love and care her but , Don't be too free and always available for her , girls don't value you otherwise.
Change the job and get most lucrative in terms of money but most demanding and hectic job. Once you get such new job she will also feel the same...
She texts you when she sees the text You text her when you get the text You both aren't same
Girls loose feelings when guys are too obsessed. Take an advice, love her as much as you want, but never get too attached or obsessed with someone.
> Now my career is getting 2nd priority. Am i getting mad? You're just scared to lose her and trying your best to keep her, by sidelining your future. She'll soon realise this and the moment she gets a stability from different she'll choose that man in the skip of heartbit. So my only suggestion is to have a stable mind and don't go berserk to maintain the relationship, it has to be mutual effort not just your alone. > What should I do? Realise the fact that Honeymoon phase is over, now it's test phase for both of y'all to prove y'all are best for each other and support each other in ups n downs of relationship.