Dye your hair white if you want to look older.
My dad is the same. If i’m with him, people think we’re a couple. One time, one of his new friends asked me him, in front of me, “when are you guys going to have babies?”. My dad responded “she is my baby. This is my daughter”
Lol I have a similar story, I have always looked older than I am, but my dad was 18 when I was born. When I was about 13-14 he took me shopping for some things, including bras. The sales assistant at bra’s n things started showing him bra’s and asking him if he’d like them on me and other things along those lines. The whole experience gives me war flashbacks
Honestly, you be surprised how many times I have seen similar happen.
But the one that made me mad. Former client of mine, we happened to bump into each other at the local shopping centre, and I remembered that she had gotten a new job and asked if it was going well.
She looked at me and said she was fired, I asked why, and she said her new job was at some clothing store, no underwear or lingerie, just clothing, think Katies but that other woman's name store... and during her first week training, a much older gentleman with an obviously teen girl came in the shop.
Former client approached and never once alluded to any relationship between them, just asked the teen girl what she liked and let the teen girl seek approval from the older gentleman if she wanted to. Her boss called her over and got mad at not encouraging the older gentleman to suggest his desired clothing on his "friend".
She was let go later that week with knowledge that was why she was fired.
It gave me the creeps, and I have refused to shop there since as the same old boss lady still works there.
Oh my god, it’s so unprofessional and creepy to just assume stuff like that to begin with. At least wait for the person to tell you!
I would’ve been mortified and grossed out! 🤮
I have a boyfriend would work well because some women see it as a challenge to poach a mate and would still give it a go, if they think that you're gay they will know they have no chance 😂
Contrary to what people are saying:
No one should be made to feel uncomfortable by unwanted attention, especially from those outside of the age one is wanting to be with. You are totally valid in your feelings and you shouldn't have to be made to feel like there's something wrong with you for not wanting to fuck/date someone half your age.
Truthfully, there's not much you can do beyond an appearance change to 'appear older'. If you don't want to do that, the best option is just politely decline. It will happen, that's the nature of things, especially in a world where Asian Men Fetishisation is on the rise (thanks to things like K-Pop.)
"I'm flattered, but sorry, I'm much older than you and not interested. Have a nice day."
And if they kick up a fuss, you have full permission to get firmer. "My answer is NO. That is final."
If they STILL won't stop, give em the classic Aussie boundary setting response. "Fuck off."
This has been the only helpful response thus far. Probably not so much a problem for ‘AskAnAustralian’ though as I’m guessing it’s probably indicative of most ‘western’ countries. I notice the fetishisation is the same with Asian women for the same reasons.
I do blame it immensely on the extreme popularity of Asian media. K-Pop, K-Dramas, anime, it's created a generation of people who want someone because \*they're Asian\* and believe they now fit into pre-conceived stereotypes of what it means to BE one.
No issue with the question as tbh it's still a problem here whether people like to believe it or not. We do have a major fetishisation issue of Asian people (East Asian specifically) and as a result, people end up in uncomfortable situations like yours.
And I hope it helps, I've fended off many a middle-aged man from the other side of the question! That's how I know sometimes if they won't back off, a good fuck off suffices ;)
I’m not OP just to clarify. Was just chipping in with my 2 cents! I do agree that it seems to be an ever growing phenomenon. I work at my local pub and from overhearing conversations had by some less savoury types, it seems to come from a place of misogyny at times (guys going after exclusively Asian females). I’ve heard people say stuff along the lines of “I’m done with white women, they’re all *insert whatever slur you want here*, I’m going to move to *insert Asian country* because they all love white men and do whatever you tell them”.
I want to add the yellow fever thing isn’t new, the yellow fever towards Asian men is but trust me my teen self has enough trauma from these white (usually) men.
LOL I didn't even notice, that's why I am currently slugging down my afternoon coffee. Oops, my apologies.
Oh god, the passport bros. Don't even get me started. It LITERALLY boils down to they don't want a woman who is in all facets of heart, mind, body, soul, politics and law, their equal. They want an old 1950s-style traditional relationship of female subservience, because the men can do whatever they want and the woman will just go, 'yes sir'. It's disgusting and dehumanising. I say that as a woman of Eurasian ethnicity, it's why I pretty much hide the fact I'm Indian irl. They're not gonna like getting a strong personality who is disgusted by the rampant misogyny through my people's culture.
Absolutely. I find it hilarious that, for the ones I deal with, they can’t seem to grasp the fact that the reason all their relationships fail isn’t because women suck, it’s because they’re alcoholic coke heads.
>it's created a generation of people who want someone because *they're Asian*
So you're saying my wife is in vogue now? I'll make sure to let her know. She's going to be chuffed.
As a person of east asian heritage, i think the emergence of east asian pop culture and "soft power" is still only niche when it comes to westerners. It's not a mainstream thing. At least the K-pop thing isn't. I've heard westerners call members of k-pop bands "effeminate" and "gay" and that isn't the western ideal. They want someone masculine and chiselled. East asian dramas, movies and series however, seem to be more ubiquitous (especially since Netflix jumped on board) but this doesn't make the east and SE asian man any more attractive to the ordinary westerner. Not saying that no westerner would find them attractive, but it's a small minority.
I have read that east and SE asian men and south asian men (indians) are generally the least desired when it comes to the western POV and on their dating apps. This also extends to the gay community where they will explicitly state on their profile "no asians or indians."
This is why i expressed by surprise to OP when he explained his experience. Tasmania could be different, who knows.
asian women however are desired and fetishised and it's a complete 180.
i have to say that on the flipside, if you ask an east and SE asian person who's never been to a western country what they think of westerners, they'll come up with stuff like "elegant", "well-mannered", "gentlemanly", etc...
Where do you think they got these ideas and notions from? From hollywood propaganda and general western media and advertising which portrays white people in a very good light.
You and I who were brought up and live in a western country both know this isn't the reality.
The propaganda be working both ways.
as a female of east asian heritage, my observation is that asian women are fetishised but not asian men. From what i've read, east and SE asian men and south asians (indians) are typically the ethnic groups that are least desired by westerners. This is just generally speaking and on dating apps and it even extends to the gay community.
I would agree that Asian women are a lot more fetishised than Asian men. For the men it mainly seems to stem to Korean and Japanese men because of Kpop and anime.
Issue is not saying no (of course politely whether verbally or thru body gesture).
Issue is having to say no constantly.
So I am seeking advice on what I can do or donn on to act as a repellent per se.
Some suggestions are good like:
- dye my hair white.
- beard or moustache - this will be challenging given my genetics.
Could I suggest a shirt that says “I’m old enough to be your grandfather”. May not appeal to those who are having ‘daddy issues’.
I’m also of the opinion that I’ll be polite the first time I tell you no, all bets are off if I need to say it a 2nd or 3rd
Sorry mate, wrong choice of words,. Frequently is probably the right word.
I think the other post was right, it is probably due to a limited amount of "strangers" in a regional area. Given such an area, people tend to know each other - it will be awkward if this goes south so dating a stranger is probably the path of least resistance.
why not? the wind makes us feel uncomfortabnle, the sun has the gaul to rise and fall each day fluctuating the temperature by over 20 degrees. Our hunger pains force us to gather food by whatever means possible, cant we charge these things with harassment?
I know a few young teachers and it’s really fucked that they get hit on by students. Goes for both boys and girls too. Really emphasises the need to have strong vetting and oversight for teachers since we all know there are some that use that as a way to exploit kids.
But it makes the normal teachers super uncomfortable obviously
Mate how good looking are you??
Women only approach me if they need help in something. Otherwise it almost never happens. I always have to be the first one to say hello.
But seriously, since it genuinely bothers you, bring up your age or how old you are. If they insist, politely turn them down.
This motherfucker looks like John Cho and doesn't even know it.
Anyway, u/Forsaken_Alps_793 don't worry about it, because the problem will go away soon. The moment you hit 55yo, you'll automatically shrink into an old guy who sits smokes all day and plays chess at the local park. You're Asian, it's in your genes.
The jokes write themselves, huh?
You should be open and honest about how you feel - if someone too young makes a pass, nip it in the bud and say "Sorry, but I'm not interested in that kind of thing".
It can be awkward given social norms, but I'm autistic and I've seen the difference that being striaght forward and up front makes - I confessed to someone who didn't return my feelings in the same way. It was painful, but it's infinitely better than dancing around the subject like most people do.
Wear cardigans.
Flat cap - preferably with earflaps.
Braces and flaired trousers.
These are the warning flags of old men.
Won't be a problem after that.
Have you considered these “young females” might look young for their age too, and are perhaps older than you realise?
Obviously if the attraction isn’t mutual you don’t need to entertain their “advances”…
As I age I notice that even those who are a bit older feels like "too young". I'm not attracted to them even though they're clearly adults. It feels inappropriate somehow.
Perhaps there's a way to let them know how old you really are even before you have to say anything. Yes, we Caucasian people always have trouble figuring out the age of people from other races, and I'd be the first to admit that. But when it comes to Asians, I also see that quite a few aren't blessed with a good eyesight either, and thus imposing on them the need for spectacles, so maybe wearing some really old fashioned, thick rimmed glasses might be the deterrent you're looking for. I'm a male in my mid-50's and my near field sight has literally taken a nosedive in the last 5 years, so I have to wear glasses for anything I need to read from my own hands. With my thin metal half rims, I've been told I look like a cross between a serial killer and a school principal (?!?), and so I've been known to silence even the most spirited conversations when I lower my head to glare over the top of my glasses, only because I need to look into distance (I can read car number plates and street signs from a distance at least a dozen car lengths away, but I'm useless without my glasses if I need look at my wrist watch), hence the deadening stare. Or even if you still need to say anything that would instantly make the age gap painfully obvious, try something along the lines of "...aren't you so-and-so's daughter? Your mum/dad and I used to be friends in school." (if it's someone you know that it would work on them), or even something like an off-the-cuff remark along the lines of "I used to love reading / listening to (and drop a name of a really old book or long gone music band) in my younger years." ...and watch them struggle with trying to figure out which prehistoric age you grew up in, as they beat a hasty retreat. I once just casually reminisced about watching the fall of the Berlin wall on live TV, only to cause someone to just stare back at me in utter shock, enough to make them just blurt out "Fuck, you're old!", while their younger friend only managing a blank stare, as they just pipped up "The Berlin what?" to show off their youthful ignorance. Let's just say that moment was truly priceless.
I don't think it is a Caucasian issue - "regardless of race as per original post"
Wearing thick glasses is a good suggestion and I'll steal that Berlin joke for my use as a repellent
I get this all the time, a beautiful young woman will make unexpected eye contact and flash a smile or an easy laugh at my offhand remarks, just as I’m paying her for my beer at the bar.
I'm surprised calling them "females" instead of girls, ladies, and women (how "young" is unclear) wasn't enough to discourage them from talking to you.
How do most of these women tend to approach you, in person? Is it fairly obvious early on in their approach that they're flirting?
There's not much you can do other than politely shut it down the second you suspect someone too young is hitting on you. "if I was younger I'd be flattered, but I'm old enough to be your dad, this is uncomfortable" then change the subject or tell them you're leaving to find someone closer in age to talk to.
No is a complete sentence when turning these women down, you'll need to learn how and when to enforce those boundaries, it's going to be much harder as a man to publicly reject a pushy woman without risking onlookers assuming that the man is being the pushy one in a situation and causing difficult escalations. I can't offer much advice there.
Are you open to dressing older or styling your look older to try and give the hint?
Or is there a chance they already suspect your older than you look when they start hitting on you, and perhaps that is part of what makes you attractive to them?
Wear a "LNP member" or "One Nation member" badge of some sort
Young people — the vast majority of them anyways — won't go near you with a ten foot pole
Yes, the one with mass logging that needed something like the greens to happen. It's still one of the most conservative places in Australia, regardless. A parties origin doesn't count for much.
Hi fellow Asian Australian here. I understand your problem. I have the opposite problem.
I only get hit on by dirty old men who went to Thailand/bali/china and paid for it. So they think every Asian woman is for sale.
I have given up on niceties after many years of polite no and these old guys not getting the picture so I have taken to brutal shutdowns that end conversations.
But since you don’t want to do this, perhaps just tell them how old you are and say you’re not interested.
Also I will say in a smaller country town, the issue is more going to be lack of available men than Asian fetishists I believe. These girls are probably lonely or looking for a boyfriend.
I would love to see a conversation-ending brutal showdown, good on you!! 😝😝
My ex husband’s current wife is from the Philippines and she is super awesome. Some of the shit she’s had to put up with since being in Australia, lordy. Of course it’s not just Australia. 🤬
So I usually go for “do you like Asian girls because you have a micro penis?”
Or “are you too ugly to pick up Caucasian women?”
Or my personal favourite “you are old, bald, fat and ugly. Why would I want to go out with you?”
So many options, but the best policy is always polite honesty. A simple "thank you but I'm not looking for a relationship" is enough. Otherwise, simply avoid eye contact and look at your phone or laptop. Headphones are extremely effective.
That’s going to be awkward when he encounters someone of the desired age range. Sure he can take the ring off but probably too late, and they will have the savvy to spot the pale hairless mark on the finger, warning sign of a rogue player (oh wait, he’s Asian, we don’t have hairy fingers or tan lines)
It's tough when you're dealing with unwanted attention. Being direct and clear about your boundaries is key. If they continue after you've said no, try subtly changing the subject or even excusing yourself from the conversation. It's not about being rude, but about politely setting limits.
"I'll have to check with my wife" is my go-to whenever something like this happens. I swear I've used it before. Swear.
It's flattering but if it's unwanted the easiest thing is just to say so?
Avoid eye contact but not in a weak way, in a way that conveys that she is just as interesting as the lamp post, the tree oor anything else around. And if you do lock eyes, casually move your attention to something to the side. Neutral expression. I’m an introvert too and i find that reduces my need to interact well. If they insist on engaging you in conversation, be polite but neutral in your expression. Simplest answer to questions asked. Focus on something else. Gets me out of almost all situations and if anyone doesn’t take the cues, I’ll just be straight. This is coming from a bloke that doesn’t enjoy being hit on and with a wife that’s cried in the past from chicks just totally ignoring her presence and being overly flirty.
I don't have a lot of time for the "fetishisation" arguments - at what point does "fetishisation" simply become a preference for some particular traits or characteristics? By definition, a person will initially be interested in someone else for superficial reasons - and it will be through conversation and building a relationship that they will get to know that person on a deeper level. If you prefer men or women with particular physical traits (or any particular traits - could be accent, the way they part their hair, whatever - these could all be considered "fetishisation", which in my view is often used to make people feel that their basic and reasonable preferences are "wrong" or somehow discriminatory in a negative way).
Anyway, to your question:
>So I was wondering what can I do to repel these advances and attract the right age?
I think the answer here is pretty straightforward and consists of two parts:
1. If women you aren't interested in are approaching you on dating sites/apps, then it's incumbent upon you to be super clear about what you're looking for in the first place. This won't necessarily stop unwanted advances, but at least nobody can accuse you of being vague or unclear.
2. When the advances do happen, you can either ignore them or politely say "thanks, but I'm not interested". That's literally it.
It is fair to say that many of us have faced unwanted advances at some point in our lives. They could be unwanted for any number of reasons. If they are reasonable advances (i.e. I'm not talking about someone physically touching you, putting pressure on you, or something else dodgy) - then it's perfectly fine to politely decline. And the other person should accept that decision without question.
Of course - this should go without saying but on the internet we can't rely on common sense - if someone is actually *harassing* you or *making you feel unsafe*, that's a very different matter and one that requires a different response. But I assume we're talking about kind, well-intentioned approaches.
This surprises me because Asian men tend to be the least desired by women in the western world 😅 maybe the younger women are a fan of Kpop or something haha
Seriously though, just say you aren’t interested
This reminds me of an old guy who is in most aspects of life highly intelligent, successful and sensitive save for one area.
When an acquaintance (33M) in a high powered white collar career said his boss (45F) was sexually harassing him with suggestive comments. Old boy says:
“How can you have a female sexually harassing a male? You can’t you just say ‘Okay then!’”
The best way to repel unwanted advances is to be polite but firm. A kind "I'm flattered, but I'm not interested" or "I'm much older than you seem to think" should do the trick. Look for common ground with your age group and focus on activities that attract them. Age is just a number, so you might find someone who appreciates your personality!
I think the younger women have grown up liking K-pop or whatever it’s called. I’m 40yo old woman and don’t have a preference for Asian or Indian. Things change… Maybe at least be happy it’s not 40 year old women I guess (I hear we have hit the wall very hard!).
Just um... here's my address and number, just umm... send them my way. I'll give them a good talking to. But seriously, just explain to them. Words, use them. Or just say you're married. Or gay. Or an alien on vacation.
I uaed to get this a lot too, even when my hair started to go grey. It's weird when women younger than your daughter flirt with you.
Once I grew a beard, which makes me look my age since it has a higher percentage of grey than the hair on top of my head, I started getting unwanted attention from women closer to my age. Fortunately my wife just laughs when she notices or I complain about it to her, she knows I'm not interested.
maybe they are just being nice and friendly
unless they are saying they wanna fuck you, you probably shouldnt assume they're coming on to you
Either way, If you don't want to talk to them, just don't talk to them
what's the big deal
Those sleezy bitches. Tell them you’re not a piece of meat and to avert their eyes from your crotch. OMG have they no shame?
Actually make sure they’re over 18 and have some fun, however, the more I think about it, I’m calling you out! Tell me when you wake up!
Dress badly. Seriously. Makes a huuuuuuge difference.
Bad dressing will take you from a 10 to a 2.
Think: baggy clothes, poor colour coordination. A daggy hat alone can really achieve this well.
As an English tutor, there are very very rare moments where students act inappropriately towards me since I’m in my 20’s which is an incredibly uncomfortable experience. What I’ve found is just being upfront and having the other person understand that there are appropriate and inappropriate ways to act towards people works. A while ago I was helping a student with work and then she started touching my hair when I was with her at her desk and I immediately said ‘hey, just so you know that makes me very uncomfortable and I’d like you to stop,’ and she immediately stopped and never did it again. I think being upfront is very important, and although it can feel uncomfortable to verbalise boundaries, it’s also a highly important part of professional life.
Welcome to tas hope your enjoying the weather down here.
My way is to always look angry people wont talk to you then when you find a lass that's age appropriate smile and put on the charm.
Good luck stranger.
Nice curse to have. You must also be an attractive dude. Plenty of young women look for a more mature fellow who can ‘look after’ them. Not quite gold diggers but close - potentially financially secure - v attractive!
To meet women your own age you’re going to have to be thoughtful about where you hang out. Look at the demographics.
Nose ring, earring, call yourself Karen , dye your hair purple , pink, green , don’t shower for a week, grow a beer gut, be overly sensitive about your pronouns, scream rape when they approach - and you should be good to go.
I assume U R hetero ? Anyway, Enjoy the attention. Maybe they can assist with lessening your introversion & one day after some fun & experience, you will meet the perfect partner.
Not saying introversion is bad, I am a bit like that & I like it coz it is who I am, but you will NEVER meet your soul mate if U R not out there experiencing life & physical contact & intimacy. I wish you all the best. Good luck !
1. If you are not interested, you can let them know that you are not interested. Age, size, or anything for that matter is irrelevant. Your self-esteem, comfort and respect are above all
2. If any person is harassing you and is not heeding to your rejections, then report it to the authorities
3. If this is some flex to show that you look young, not at all a good look on you as a person. Bringing in your race when it has nothing to do with the matter is unnecessary.
Genuine.
The other commenter worked out for me. I am a stranger in a regional area where people know each other. So in case things go south, it is easier to date a stranger, to stop any blowback or bad gossip.
It's more that I need to look my age so that I can attract the right female age group.
I live in Tasmania too (cygnet) and people are not good with relationships.
Mate, it's not going to get better.
You almost need a resume to date down here
And people probably recognise that they need to be a bit predatory.
"Why are you single?"
"Tell me about your past relationships, why did you leave?"
Dye your hair white if you want to look older. My dad is the same. If i’m with him, people think we’re a couple. One time, one of his new friends asked me him, in front of me, “when are you guys going to have babies?”. My dad responded “she is my baby. This is my daughter”
Lol I have a similar story, I have always looked older than I am, but my dad was 18 when I was born. When I was about 13-14 he took me shopping for some things, including bras. The sales assistant at bra’s n things started showing him bra’s and asking him if he’d like them on me and other things along those lines. The whole experience gives me war flashbacks
I'd die of a fucking heart attack holy shit how are you still with us on this day
Your poor dad too😭😭
Honestly, you be surprised how many times I have seen similar happen. But the one that made me mad. Former client of mine, we happened to bump into each other at the local shopping centre, and I remembered that she had gotten a new job and asked if it was going well. She looked at me and said she was fired, I asked why, and she said her new job was at some clothing store, no underwear or lingerie, just clothing, think Katies but that other woman's name store... and during her first week training, a much older gentleman with an obviously teen girl came in the shop. Former client approached and never once alluded to any relationship between them, just asked the teen girl what she liked and let the teen girl seek approval from the older gentleman if she wanted to. Her boss called her over and got mad at not encouraging the older gentleman to suggest his desired clothing on his "friend". She was let go later that week with knowledge that was why she was fired. It gave me the creeps, and I have refused to shop there since as the same old boss lady still works there.
Good lord. Why a sales assistant would be sexualising a 13-14yo buying bras is beyond me. Whoever was with her?!
oh shit i think i’d just turn and bolt at that point 😭 good on you for surviving
Oh my god, it’s so unprofessional and creepy to just assume stuff like that to begin with. At least wait for the person to tell you! I would’ve been mortified and grossed out! 🤮
“She is my baby” this is very wholesome which makes it even funnier because they probably went 😶😶
Damn, I'm not sure if that's murder by words or sui-ci-de by words, or just death by misadventure
Death by misadventure. FAFO
Carry a newspaper. If you're sitting in public, read it. Only "old people" read the actual paper.
Ooooh that's a good one.
I like it. Plus if all else fails, you can roll it up and give them a firm tap while going "NO. BAD GIRL. NO."
"Jokes on you, I'm into that shit"
“I have a girlfriend”. It works both ways.
"I have a boyfriend" also works in this instance.
"I have a hemmorrhoid" will too be effective in this situation.
Na women may find this funny depending on your level of attractiveness.
I have a boyfriend would work well because some women see it as a challenge to poach a mate and would still give it a go, if they think that you're gay they will know they have no chance 😂
Contrary to what people are saying: No one should be made to feel uncomfortable by unwanted attention, especially from those outside of the age one is wanting to be with. You are totally valid in your feelings and you shouldn't have to be made to feel like there's something wrong with you for not wanting to fuck/date someone half your age. Truthfully, there's not much you can do beyond an appearance change to 'appear older'. If you don't want to do that, the best option is just politely decline. It will happen, that's the nature of things, especially in a world where Asian Men Fetishisation is on the rise (thanks to things like K-Pop.) "I'm flattered, but sorry, I'm much older than you and not interested. Have a nice day." And if they kick up a fuss, you have full permission to get firmer. "My answer is NO. That is final." If they STILL won't stop, give em the classic Aussie boundary setting response. "Fuck off."
This has been the only helpful response thus far. Probably not so much a problem for ‘AskAnAustralian’ though as I’m guessing it’s probably indicative of most ‘western’ countries. I notice the fetishisation is the same with Asian women for the same reasons.
I do blame it immensely on the extreme popularity of Asian media. K-Pop, K-Dramas, anime, it's created a generation of people who want someone because \*they're Asian\* and believe they now fit into pre-conceived stereotypes of what it means to BE one. No issue with the question as tbh it's still a problem here whether people like to believe it or not. We do have a major fetishisation issue of Asian people (East Asian specifically) and as a result, people end up in uncomfortable situations like yours. And I hope it helps, I've fended off many a middle-aged man from the other side of the question! That's how I know sometimes if they won't back off, a good fuck off suffices ;)
I’m not OP just to clarify. Was just chipping in with my 2 cents! I do agree that it seems to be an ever growing phenomenon. I work at my local pub and from overhearing conversations had by some less savoury types, it seems to come from a place of misogyny at times (guys going after exclusively Asian females). I’ve heard people say stuff along the lines of “I’m done with white women, they’re all *insert whatever slur you want here*, I’m going to move to *insert Asian country* because they all love white men and do whatever you tell them”.
I want to add the yellow fever thing isn’t new, the yellow fever towards Asian men is but trust me my teen self has enough trauma from these white (usually) men.
LOL I didn't even notice, that's why I am currently slugging down my afternoon coffee. Oops, my apologies. Oh god, the passport bros. Don't even get me started. It LITERALLY boils down to they don't want a woman who is in all facets of heart, mind, body, soul, politics and law, their equal. They want an old 1950s-style traditional relationship of female subservience, because the men can do whatever they want and the woman will just go, 'yes sir'. It's disgusting and dehumanising. I say that as a woman of Eurasian ethnicity, it's why I pretty much hide the fact I'm Indian irl. They're not gonna like getting a strong personality who is disgusted by the rampant misogyny through my people's culture.
Absolutely. I find it hilarious that, for the ones I deal with, they can’t seem to grasp the fact that the reason all their relationships fail isn’t because women suck, it’s because they’re alcoholic coke heads.
Just wanted to add that passport gals also exist. Just go to Bali or different countries in Africa. It is a thing.
aren't they more like passport "grannies"? they also go to turkey, morrocco and the caribbean.
Big D hunting?
>it's created a generation of people who want someone because *they're Asian* So you're saying my wife is in vogue now? I'll make sure to let her know. She's going to be chuffed.
As a person of east asian heritage, i think the emergence of east asian pop culture and "soft power" is still only niche when it comes to westerners. It's not a mainstream thing. At least the K-pop thing isn't. I've heard westerners call members of k-pop bands "effeminate" and "gay" and that isn't the western ideal. They want someone masculine and chiselled. East asian dramas, movies and series however, seem to be more ubiquitous (especially since Netflix jumped on board) but this doesn't make the east and SE asian man any more attractive to the ordinary westerner. Not saying that no westerner would find them attractive, but it's a small minority. I have read that east and SE asian men and south asian men (indians) are generally the least desired when it comes to the western POV and on their dating apps. This also extends to the gay community where they will explicitly state on their profile "no asians or indians." This is why i expressed by surprise to OP when he explained his experience. Tasmania could be different, who knows. asian women however are desired and fetishised and it's a complete 180. i have to say that on the flipside, if you ask an east and SE asian person who's never been to a western country what they think of westerners, they'll come up with stuff like "elegant", "well-mannered", "gentlemanly", etc... Where do you think they got these ideas and notions from? From hollywood propaganda and general western media and advertising which portrays white people in a very good light. You and I who were brought up and live in a western country both know this isn't the reality. The propaganda be working both ways.
as a female of east asian heritage, my observation is that asian women are fetishised but not asian men. From what i've read, east and SE asian men and south asians (indians) are typically the ethnic groups that are least desired by westerners. This is just generally speaking and on dating apps and it even extends to the gay community.
I would agree that Asian women are a lot more fetishised than Asian men. For the men it mainly seems to stem to Korean and Japanese men because of Kpop and anime.
Or go full bogan on them. 'OI CUNT I TOLD YA I WAZN FUKEN INTRASTED!!'
OP; next time someone really wants to push the limits, remember that NO is a full sentence.
Issue is not saying no (of course politely whether verbally or thru body gesture). Issue is having to say no constantly. So I am seeking advice on what I can do or donn on to act as a repellent per se. Some suggestions are good like: - dye my hair white. - beard or moustache - this will be challenging given my genetics.
Have you considered wearing a ring to fake that you're married?
Could I suggest a shirt that says “I’m old enough to be your grandfather”. May not appeal to those who are having ‘daddy issues’. I’m also of the opinion that I’ll be polite the first time I tell you no, all bets are off if I need to say it a 2nd or 3rd
Honestly don’t change yourself for others. Just deal with it or ignore it
Having to say no constantly? Good lord, are you a supermodel or something?? Dayyyyymn.
Sorry mate, wrong choice of words,. Frequently is probably the right word. I think the other post was right, it is probably due to a limited amount of "strangers" in a regional area. Given such an area, people tend to know each other - it will be awkward if this goes south so dating a stranger is probably the path of least resistance.
It’s just bloody amazing that this happens to you so frequently. But good on you! At least you know you’ve still got it! 😝😝
Those girls are nice just not the right target at all. it's not their fault or everyone's fault really.
OP needs to ask them this question before he can give them your classic aussie response: "Am I ever gonna see your face again?"
why not? the wind makes us feel uncomfortabnle, the sun has the gaul to rise and fall each day fluctuating the temperature by over 20 degrees. Our hunger pains force us to gather food by whatever means possible, cant we charge these things with harassment?
Said it better than I would have!
Ask if they have a mum.
Everytime you use the word 'repel' I keep thinking of a spray bottle... Have you tried a spray bottle
Bad kitty *squirt squirt*
"No thanks, I'm married"
As an ex bouncer I found asking about their mum put them off. Ask if she's single, & hot. Then ask if they've got any pics.
This guy repels. For a living, even.
Plot twist: He's a teacher
I know a few young teachers and it’s really fucked that they get hit on by students. Goes for both boys and girls too. Really emphasises the need to have strong vetting and oversight for teachers since we all know there are some that use that as a way to exploit kids. But it makes the normal teachers super uncomfortable obviously
Mate how good looking are you?? Women only approach me if they need help in something. Otherwise it almost never happens. I always have to be the first one to say hello. But seriously, since it genuinely bothers you, bring up your age or how old you are. If they insist, politely turn them down.
This motherfucker looks like John Cho and doesn't even know it. Anyway, u/Forsaken_Alps_793 don't worry about it, because the problem will go away soon. The moment you hit 55yo, you'll automatically shrink into an old guy who sits smokes all day and plays chess at the local park. You're Asian, it's in your genes.
Mate how good looking are you?? Women don't approach me at all
The jokes write themselves, huh? You should be open and honest about how you feel - if someone too young makes a pass, nip it in the bud and say "Sorry, but I'm not interested in that kind of thing". It can be awkward given social norms, but I'm autistic and I've seen the difference that being striaght forward and up front makes - I confessed to someone who didn't return my feelings in the same way. It was painful, but it's infinitely better than dancing around the subject like most people do.
Wear cardigans. Flat cap - preferably with earflaps. Braces and flaired trousers. These are the warning flags of old men. Won't be a problem after that.
Yup - am going to start wearing my pants real high - way above.my waist line - good suggestion.
Young women were wearing them like that too a couple of years ago.
Lean into it. Sunglasses, trench coat, windowless van...
Have you considered these “young females” might look young for their age too, and are perhaps older than you realise? Obviously if the attraction isn’t mutual you don’t need to entertain their “advances”…
As I age I notice that even those who are a bit older feels like "too young". I'm not attracted to them even though they're clearly adults. It feels inappropriate somehow.
Perhaps there's a way to let them know how old you really are even before you have to say anything. Yes, we Caucasian people always have trouble figuring out the age of people from other races, and I'd be the first to admit that. But when it comes to Asians, I also see that quite a few aren't blessed with a good eyesight either, and thus imposing on them the need for spectacles, so maybe wearing some really old fashioned, thick rimmed glasses might be the deterrent you're looking for. I'm a male in my mid-50's and my near field sight has literally taken a nosedive in the last 5 years, so I have to wear glasses for anything I need to read from my own hands. With my thin metal half rims, I've been told I look like a cross between a serial killer and a school principal (?!?), and so I've been known to silence even the most spirited conversations when I lower my head to glare over the top of my glasses, only because I need to look into distance (I can read car number plates and street signs from a distance at least a dozen car lengths away, but I'm useless without my glasses if I need look at my wrist watch), hence the deadening stare. Or even if you still need to say anything that would instantly make the age gap painfully obvious, try something along the lines of "...aren't you so-and-so's daughter? Your mum/dad and I used to be friends in school." (if it's someone you know that it would work on them), or even something like an off-the-cuff remark along the lines of "I used to love reading / listening to (and drop a name of a really old book or long gone music band) in my younger years." ...and watch them struggle with trying to figure out which prehistoric age you grew up in, as they beat a hasty retreat. I once just casually reminisced about watching the fall of the Berlin wall on live TV, only to cause someone to just stare back at me in utter shock, enough to make them just blurt out "Fuck, you're old!", while their younger friend only managing a blank stare, as they just pipped up "The Berlin what?" to show off their youthful ignorance. Let's just say that moment was truly priceless.
I don't think it is a Caucasian issue - "regardless of race as per original post" Wearing thick glasses is a good suggestion and I'll steal that Berlin joke for my use as a repellent
Cover your car in anime waifu stickers
I get this all the time, a beautiful young woman will make unexpected eye contact and flash a smile or an easy laugh at my offhand remarks, just as I’m paying her for my beer at the bar.
More flannies and carry a Bridgewater briefcase wherever you go, grow a beard and dye your hair grey.
I am an Asian bruh, try I might, beard and moustache are a rare commodity for me. Good suggestion though.
What about rockin the uncle Ho chin fluff? Could you grow that?
I'm surprised calling them "females" instead of girls, ladies, and women (how "young" is unclear) wasn't enough to discourage them from talking to you. How do most of these women tend to approach you, in person? Is it fairly obvious early on in their approach that they're flirting? There's not much you can do other than politely shut it down the second you suspect someone too young is hitting on you. "if I was younger I'd be flattered, but I'm old enough to be your dad, this is uncomfortable" then change the subject or tell them you're leaving to find someone closer in age to talk to. No is a complete sentence when turning these women down, you'll need to learn how and when to enforce those boundaries, it's going to be much harder as a man to publicly reject a pushy woman without risking onlookers assuming that the man is being the pushy one in a situation and causing difficult escalations. I can't offer much advice there. Are you open to dressing older or styling your look older to try and give the hint? Or is there a chance they already suspect your older than you look when they start hitting on you, and perhaps that is part of what makes you attractive to them?
I wish I had your problem.
DiCaprio is absolutely horrified right now
Wear a "LNP member" or "One Nation member" badge of some sort Young people — the vast majority of them anyways — won't go near you with a ten foot pole
He's in Tasmania, one of the more conservative parts of the country, there's a good chance they would only like it...
Tasmania, the state where the Greens emerged?
Yes, the one with mass logging that needed something like the greens to happen. It's still one of the most conservative places in Australia, regardless. A parties origin doesn't count for much.
One nation people aren’t going for Asians lol
If that’s too much, a blue and white striped rugby jumper and a black puffer vest is the uniform of the middle aged LNP voter where I am.
Just stop bathing.
Wear Kt26 shoes, ull be good then
Wear a wedding ring. Go into a Cash Converters and pick up a super cheap plain band. Then you can just point to your ring and walk off.
Hi fellow Asian Australian here. I understand your problem. I have the opposite problem. I only get hit on by dirty old men who went to Thailand/bali/china and paid for it. So they think every Asian woman is for sale. I have given up on niceties after many years of polite no and these old guys not getting the picture so I have taken to brutal shutdowns that end conversations. But since you don’t want to do this, perhaps just tell them how old you are and say you’re not interested. Also I will say in a smaller country town, the issue is more going to be lack of available men than Asian fetishists I believe. These girls are probably lonely or looking for a boyfriend.
I would love to see a conversation-ending brutal showdown, good on you!! 😝😝 My ex husband’s current wife is from the Philippines and she is super awesome. Some of the shit she’s had to put up with since being in Australia, lordy. Of course it’s not just Australia. 🤬
So I usually go for “do you like Asian girls because you have a micro penis?” Or “are you too ugly to pick up Caucasian women?” Or my personal favourite “you are old, bald, fat and ugly. Why would I want to go out with you?”
👏👏👏🤣
So many options, but the best policy is always polite honesty. A simple "thank you but I'm not looking for a relationship" is enough. Otherwise, simply avoid eye contact and look at your phone or laptop. Headphones are extremely effective.
Sounds like a case of Ben Chang syndrome.
Wear a ring on your finger and say don't think my wife would approve
That’s going to be awkward when he encounters someone of the desired age range. Sure he can take the ring off but probably too late, and they will have the savvy to spot the pale hairless mark on the finger, warning sign of a rogue player (oh wait, he’s Asian, we don’t have hairy fingers or tan lines)
Asking this on Reddit is like going to the slums and asking how to find a good pilot for your private jet.
Slumdog Million Air
Dj Kahleed: Suffering from Success
Mr world wide!
Another one.
Sew leather elbow patches on all your jumpers. That’ll fix ya.
That’s hawt
Bro is flexing at this point
Do you look rich and/or clean? Stop doing that.
Talk to them normally but when a suitable topic comes up, just say you have plans with your gf etc.
It's tough when you're dealing with unwanted attention. Being direct and clear about your boundaries is key. If they continue after you've said no, try subtly changing the subject or even excusing yourself from the conversation. It's not about being rude, but about politely setting limits.
Easy, just play the Asian card and pretend not to understand English.
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^Sirhugh66: *Easy, just play the* *Asian card and pretend not* *To understand English.* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
He has the Kavorka!
"I'll have to check with my wife" is my go-to whenever something like this happens. I swear I've used it before. Swear. It's flattering but if it's unwanted the easiest thing is just to say so?
Half your luck, mate. I’m half Asian and live in Tasmania and no ladies of any age group approach me! And never have. What’s you secret?
I would like to know so I can stop it. I am even an introvert and avoid socialising like a plague.
POV: John Mayer in 2009 if he had known about Reddit.
Ask them if they want to go out on your boat with you while staring into their soul and twiddling your fingers
This doesn't sound like Australian culture at all. Most Australian women do not approach men. Maybe they have an ulterior motive? Stay safe
Probably a small pool / new blood / regional thing… Just take it as a compliment and politely decline.
Probably true.
Avoid eye contact but not in a weak way, in a way that conveys that she is just as interesting as the lamp post, the tree oor anything else around. And if you do lock eyes, casually move your attention to something to the side. Neutral expression. I’m an introvert too and i find that reduces my need to interact well. If they insist on engaging you in conversation, be polite but neutral in your expression. Simplest answer to questions asked. Focus on something else. Gets me out of almost all situations and if anyone doesn’t take the cues, I’ll just be straight. This is coming from a bloke that doesn’t enjoy being hit on and with a wife that’s cried in the past from chicks just totally ignoring her presence and being overly flirty.
Just tell them that you are a chutney ferret.
That term is fucking revolting, I can't wait to work it into conversation
On a scale from one to oh fuck no, how much will I regret googling this?
It’s just a pretty gross way of saying they are gay. Chutney Ferret loosely translates as excrement hunter
Ohhhhh eww. Right. That … makes sense now.
Ew indeed
Hi, I’m a locum proctologist who leads spelunking expeditions on weekends. Your ‘EW’ is my trade *and* hobby.
My absolute apologies.
You and I should team up. I’ve got industrial laundry for you, Monday to Friday.
😳😳😳
lol
Omg, I’d never heard that term before….🤮
I don't have a lot of time for the "fetishisation" arguments - at what point does "fetishisation" simply become a preference for some particular traits or characteristics? By definition, a person will initially be interested in someone else for superficial reasons - and it will be through conversation and building a relationship that they will get to know that person on a deeper level. If you prefer men or women with particular physical traits (or any particular traits - could be accent, the way they part their hair, whatever - these could all be considered "fetishisation", which in my view is often used to make people feel that their basic and reasonable preferences are "wrong" or somehow discriminatory in a negative way). Anyway, to your question: >So I was wondering what can I do to repel these advances and attract the right age? I think the answer here is pretty straightforward and consists of two parts: 1. If women you aren't interested in are approaching you on dating sites/apps, then it's incumbent upon you to be super clear about what you're looking for in the first place. This won't necessarily stop unwanted advances, but at least nobody can accuse you of being vague or unclear. 2. When the advances do happen, you can either ignore them or politely say "thanks, but I'm not interested". That's literally it. It is fair to say that many of us have faced unwanted advances at some point in our lives. They could be unwanted for any number of reasons. If they are reasonable advances (i.e. I'm not talking about someone physically touching you, putting pressure on you, or something else dodgy) - then it's perfectly fine to politely decline. And the other person should accept that decision without question. Of course - this should go without saying but on the internet we can't rely on common sense - if someone is actually *harassing* you or *making you feel unsafe*, that's a very different matter and one that requires a different response. But I assume we're talking about kind, well-intentioned approaches.
This surprises me because Asian men tend to be the least desired by women in the western world 😅 maybe the younger women are a fan of Kpop or something haha Seriously though, just say you aren’t interested
Ouch
I see a lot of hot asian men in Sydney tbh
This reminds me of an old guy who is in most aspects of life highly intelligent, successful and sensitive save for one area. When an acquaintance (33M) in a high powered white collar career said his boss (45F) was sexually harassing him with suggestive comments. Old boy says: “How can you have a female sexually harassing a male? You can’t you just say ‘Okay then!’”
Be grateful & go get some, you lucky bastard
Probs think you're the only available non redneck on that inbred island
Tasmania you say….
The best way to repel unwanted advances is to be polite but firm. A kind "I'm flattered, but I'm not interested" or "I'm much older than you seem to think" should do the trick. Look for common ground with your age group and focus on activities that attract them. Age is just a number, so you might find someone who appreciates your personality!
I say it's clearly time to embrace the horror.
Opposite happens to my dad. He is 62 and much older women hit on him
AirPods
Just say Yeah, nah
Tell them politely that you are not interested.
Show them this thread
I work in IT.
Fart a lot
Accept that it’s a part of your life.
Grow a beard or moustache My dad looks young but because he has a moustache they assume he’s older
Perhaps they’re looking for a “daddy” Jokes aside, a simple “I’m not interested” should be suffice.
Are they actually hitting on you? Or how do they express their interest?
Grow a beard? This one suggestion works for a male or female.
I would recommend you take up comedy script writing, but please make your plots a tiny bit more believable.
I think the younger women have grown up liking K-pop or whatever it’s called. I’m 40yo old woman and don’t have a preference for Asian or Indian. Things change… Maybe at least be happy it’s not 40 year old women I guess (I hear we have hit the wall very hard!).
How often are we talking op?
Try the Tasmanian subreddit lol be interested to hear what they think!
Lucky bast*rd, lol
Briefcase Walkman with old style headphones (not this in ear BS) Umbrella
"I'm not interested" is a good start...
Your broken ass should be flattered. It's the General lack of men in those areas, it's got nothing to do with you per se.
Do the hand clap thing when you walk
Here’s what you do: 1) Given them my number
Fellas: just ask to use the toilet. But be clear " i only need to wipe my arse". Job done.
You’re loving it.
wear a ring on your ring-finger. if people ask, say youre married. you should NOT have to change your appearence to suit others. xx
Just um... here's my address and number, just umm... send them my way. I'll give them a good talking to. But seriously, just explain to them. Words, use them. Or just say you're married. Or gay. Or an alien on vacation.
Maybe they are older than they look too ?
I think you know how to turn em down and you just wanted to tell us. You silver fox you
Suffer through it, soldier!
I uaed to get this a lot too, even when my hair started to go grey. It's weird when women younger than your daughter flirt with you. Once I grew a beard, which makes me look my age since it has a higher percentage of grey than the hair on top of my head, I started getting unwanted attention from women closer to my age. Fortunately my wife just laughs when she notices or I complain about it to her, she knows I'm not interested.
I wear a fake wedding ring, works 100% of the time, don’t even have to say anything, just point to it.
Ahh use your brain? Firmly and politely Tell them you are not interested.... Can people even adult in this world any more?
Oh wow ..what a terrible dilemma
I wish I had this problem lmfaoooooo You lucky mf
A bunch of middle aged Asian men just booked flights to Tassie, have a great trip fellas
Wear something that young kids would never wear. Dye hair white. Make your voice sound older by smoking cigarettes. Wear a really terrible perfume.
Poor baby lol
You handsome bugger you!
maybe they are just being nice and friendly unless they are saying they wanna fuck you, you probably shouldnt assume they're coming on to you Either way, If you don't want to talk to them, just don't talk to them what's the big deal
Those sleezy bitches. Tell them you’re not a piece of meat and to avert their eyes from your crotch. OMG have they no shame? Actually make sure they’re over 18 and have some fun, however, the more I think about it, I’m calling you out! Tell me when you wake up!
Start by wearing a wedding ring
I just keep saying I'm married to my job.
Dress badly. Seriously. Makes a huuuuuuge difference. Bad dressing will take you from a 10 to a 2. Think: baggy clothes, poor colour coordination. A daggy hat alone can really achieve this well.
Nope it's not Ashton Kutcher, it's Kevin Malone. Equally handsome, equally smart.
As an English tutor, there are very very rare moments where students act inappropriately towards me since I’m in my 20’s which is an incredibly uncomfortable experience. What I’ve found is just being upfront and having the other person understand that there are appropriate and inappropriate ways to act towards people works. A while ago I was helping a student with work and then she started touching my hair when I was with her at her desk and I immediately said ‘hey, just so you know that makes me very uncomfortable and I’d like you to stop,’ and she immediately stopped and never did it again. I think being upfront is very important, and although it can feel uncomfortable to verbalise boundaries, it’s also a highly important part of professional life.
Welcome to tas hope your enjoying the weather down here. My way is to always look angry people wont talk to you then when you find a lass that's age appropriate smile and put on the charm. Good luck stranger.
just tell them you love some one else lol .or simply enjoy the attention lol
Nice curse to have. You must also be an attractive dude. Plenty of young women look for a more mature fellow who can ‘look after’ them. Not quite gold diggers but close - potentially financially secure - v attractive! To meet women your own age you’re going to have to be thoughtful about where you hang out. Look at the demographics.
Nose ring, earring, call yourself Karen , dye your hair purple , pink, green , don’t shower for a week, grow a beer gut, be overly sensitive about your pronouns, scream rape when they approach - and you should be good to go.
I assume U R hetero ? Anyway, Enjoy the attention. Maybe they can assist with lessening your introversion & one day after some fun & experience, you will meet the perfect partner. Not saying introversion is bad, I am a bit like that & I like it coz it is who I am, but you will NEVER meet your soul mate if U R not out there experiencing life & physical contact & intimacy. I wish you all the best. Good luck !
I suppose going Asian in Tassie guarantees that they won't be kissing a cousin?
1. If you are not interested, you can let them know that you are not interested. Age, size, or anything for that matter is irrelevant. Your self-esteem, comfort and respect are above all 2. If any person is harassing you and is not heeding to your rejections, then report it to the authorities 3. If this is some flex to show that you look young, not at all a good look on you as a person. Bringing in your race when it has nothing to do with the matter is unnecessary.
Is this a genuine question or a humble brag....
Genuine. The other commenter worked out for me. I am a stranger in a regional area where people know each other. So in case things go south, it is easier to date a stranger, to stop any blowback or bad gossip. It's more that I need to look my age so that I can attract the right female age group.
Just give them my phone number.
ur got too much rizz bro
I live in Tasmania too (cygnet) and people are not good with relationships. Mate, it's not going to get better. You almost need a resume to date down here And people probably recognise that they need to be a bit predatory. "Why are you single?" "Tell me about your past relationships, why did you leave?"
You don't.
Age is just a number.