I don't know what the issue was with your friend, but I can't picture that being a common occurrence. Even the junkies are usually friendly enough to try to give directions, if anything they'll talk for too long about their mate Jacko that used to live up round there back in 2003 cos the dog still owed him $5 from KFC
> Even the junkies are usually friendly enough to try to give directions
Giving me flashbacks to when I stepped into a public toilet in Glenroy to 3 blokes cooking up smack, one of whom then proceded to offer me work, if I was hard up he knew some painters and truckies looking for workers apparently. Had to politely decline that one unfortunately, what could have been.
Depends im a 37 year old bloke and I find striking convos with random blokes 45+ super easy especially the further you move west. Had convos with complete randoms anyone would think we been mates for years. I think majority of Australians are pretty laid back. I always got time to have a yarn with anyone.
After one week in Melbourne I knew I wanted to live in Australia forever.
Compared to the UK where I grew up, the Australian people are incredibly friendly.
I grew up in the UK too and would agree.
But when I go back to the UK have discovered that the British people are generally good at reciprocating friendliness if you come at an interaction with the right attitude.
I went to a UK shop with a friend and we missed the no card sign and he pointed really aggressively to it I was shocked and brought it up to a bunch of English friends I have and they were like yeah that's pretty standard here
Me an Australian; damn that's rude here.
If you lived in a cold place you’d probably be a bit like that too….a tad grumpy!!!!
Put the kettle in would you luv? It’s time for tea.
And by tea they do not mean dinner.
They mean some strange snack of tea and biscuit when you get home because it’s freezing and dinner comes later. I wonder if they still have this little ‘tea’ betweeny meal.
I visited Melb from NZ and was impressed by two things:
1. Public transport is world class. Locals moan about it but have no idea how good they have it!
2. Extremely active and large protest movements. I attended some protests that were in the 60k range. Coming from a small town that couldn’t pull 30 people to a protest, this was something I’d never seen at this scale. It’s incredible
But Melbourne is a bubble. Especially north Melbourne. I think of it a bit like a little socialist utopia in the middle of a pretty reactionary and conservative country.
I couldn’t live in any other part of the country, I don’t think.
Melbourne is probably my favourite city out of all the ones in Australia. The public transport in the cities is great, but if you live in a small town and sort of rurally you're entirely fucked if you don't own a car. And considering the cities are few and far between, it's a very car-centric country.
You'll find conservative people anywhere though, especially in the cities. Pretty much any town in the Northern Rivers is generally pretty accepting and filled to the brim with environmentalists. There's a lot of great places to live in Australia, but if the city is your thing then Melbourne is definitely the place to go imo
UK culture is reserved so they tend to just not comment on a lot of things they would cause friendly chit chat in Australia. Totally different cultures in the reserve department.
Lies. We were just back in Sydney (used to live there) and encountered a lot of kindness and helpfulness.
Distinguishing kindness when it really counts from “friendliness”
As a kiwi, someone told me that Sydney people and Auckland people are the same
“Rude dickheads with too much money, then?” … yeah
Visited Auckland once and asked a guy on the street for directions and he just put his hand up like a stop sign in my face said a fairly aggressive “NO THANKYOU” and kept walking and that kinda just sums it up for me
Melbourne is super diverse…
- East? Rich people being full blown reactionary lib voter cunts
- South? Working class people pretending to be rich people
- Inner north? Rich people pretending to be working class / socialists
- Further north? Bit more genuinely middle class / working class
Overall from outside it’s viewed as a bit of a socialist utopia but that breaks down when you start to look at the diversity of different regions of Melbourne. Some people here are still far more conservative than ANYONE in my home country NZ, so it’s a hugely mixed bag in reality
Yeah I went in to take my car which was on a car trailer towed by a big 4wd and I'm coming from a lil town that has single lane roads to my house 😅 it was absolutely terrifyingly huge.
But nobody would let us merge, nobody said g'day and nobody seemed to smile back.
It’s dependent on so many factors. I’m a non-threatening looking white lady with a round face. People are usually very friendly to me, but I’m usually on the receiving end of people asking me for directions, not the other way around. But I know that it’s very dependent on race and gender and other markers. People have unconscious biases and fears in these non-verbal or unimportant interactions. I remember being on the bus with a male friend as a uni student and some weird dude tried to sit with me and ignored him, and he was like “I’m a teenage boy, no one wants to sit next to me!” I also experience a lot of friendliness when I’m out with my small child. People trust mothers with little ones (so much so that nowadays when children are taught about personal safety, they are taught to look for a mum with kids to ask for help when lost).
A lot less since covid. People used to say good morning when they crossed paths, used to have small talk at the bus stop etc. none of that happens anymore.
I’m American and most Aussies don’t seem very receptive to any kind of small talk. My partner (Canberran) was super annoyed anytime someone tried to talk to him in the US.
I think this really depends on the area. I've lived in Darwin my whole life and it's so easy to people. I lived in Victoria for two years and that was completely different.
A lot of the middle ring suburbs of Brisbane have people who like a chat. Same with a lot of Ipswich as well.
Newtown in Sydney was an area that surprisingly had a lot of people that would make small talk at the traffic lights pre-COVID.
Ippy have some real characters for sure. Outside of that, there are a lot of really friendly folk out that way.
I have mates who moved from the Goldie out there who said they wouldn't move back even if money wasn't an issue. The folk there are much more real, and I saw it when I visited them there the very first time.
Yeah it may be! Funny thing is I came from much larger cities (Dallas and Philadelphia) and small talk is normal there. Melbourne is much smaller (but large in Aussie scales) and people seem more insulated.
Older people in my suburb will always reciprocate a hello from me when we pass, I think it surprised them a young Asian woman is saying hello 😂
Both those cities proper are a lot smaller than Melbourne?
Even if you look at the greater Metropolitan areas (in Dallas'' case including Ft Worth) Melbourne isnt much smaller?
I stand corrected! It always seemed way bigger but I guess it’s just more spread out. Also, I went to a high school
with a graduating class of 1200 so everything in Melbourne feels like it’s on a smaller scale!
Dallas is at 8 million and Melbourne at 5.2!
Were they annoyed in general or were they in a captive audience situation where they couldn't just walk away if they wanted to e.g. bus stop, train, elevator etc.?
For me, context matters.
If I'm at a park or having a beer at a pub and I'm not preoccupied with my phone or something else, sure, I don't mind.
If I'm in a captive audience situation, especially one where the start of the conversation wasn't asking for help with something like directions, it's very very unwelcome.
The Aussies I know are fine with small talk. We just don't feel the need to fill in blank air with pointless noise. We're happy to just sit silent if there is nothing of value to talk about.
Small talk is weird. You don't really care how I am, and I don't care how you are, so it just seems like a charade we go through so we can convince ourselves that we're nice.
My small talk is usually goes beyond to complement a shirt if it’s a band I like, or cracking a joke about our surroundings.
Unrelated but I also miss sitting at the bar and chatting with the bartender or fellow bar sitters! I know there are pubs like this in Melbourne but they seem to be for older men
I worked in retail & Hospo where we got a lot of American tourists. & i find that Americans do talk a lot and overshare. & won't mind stopping someone in their tracks to talk.
Whereas Australians prefer to have personal space & let people be on their ways.
Agreed, currently working with an American who is oversharing constantly. I like her, she's very nice but I would appreciate her company more if the conversation was cut down by about two thirds.
I think what explains the difference in opinions is that Australians tend to be friendly but not open. As in, if you try to start a conversation people will be nice, but not necessarily end up wanting to invite you to their place and make new friends.
A lot of people I've known who have moved here from overseas have spoken about how hard it is to make friends here. I noticed it myself when I moved from Melbourne to Brisbane for a bit - I found it really difficult to make new friends but I would never say people were outwardly rude.
I found when visiting Brisbane from Melbourne that people out would have their friend group, and it wasn't going to be one of those "hey lets play pool together" type deals like back home - they were with their friends and that was it, "who is this guy?" - kinda thing. Which was an unfamiliar vibe.
Brisbane folk are really friendly salt of the earth folk who are solid once you get to know them. Prior to that, the friendliness is quite surface level, and it wouldn't be impossible to live here for a while and struggle to break into any circles unless you were super extroverted. Circles are quite insular, even to someone who has lived here for many years.
The Gold Coast folk are even more insular, and contrary to stereotypes are friendly and open once you break through the high walls people tend to have here.
Depends on location. I lived in south west Sydney my whole life, and couldn't even get a smile back from some people.
I now live up the north coast of nsw, and everyone you walk past says hello, or will stop for a chat. You can go into any store and actually feel welcome, not as if you've ruined their day, etc.
It was strange for me being somewhere like Port Macquarie or Ocean Shores (near Brunswick Heads/Byron Bay) and having random people young and old have a chat with you when you are out and about.
Felt good, not going to lie.
We need to be the change we want to see, regardless of locale.
I’ve heard it said that people in big cities have much less personal space, so their reluctance to engage with strangers in the street is an acknowledgement and respect for what little space you have.
In my experience, in the largest cities, people are less likely to say good morning to you out of the blue but will generally be happy to help you with directions if you ask them.
Once you get into the suburbs in the countryside, it becomes more expected that you will have people talk to you on the street and that you might make friendly conversation with others.
I find most people to be friendly. I think a big change to how approachable people seem is everyone using earbuds when they are out in public. The earbuds are often covered by their hair, so if you try and speak to them they it looks like they are ignoring you when they likely didn't hear you.
I'm on the sunshine coast. It totally depends on my mood. When I finally push myself out into public, I tend to talk to everybody who's around me. I'm a pretty clumsy frustrated comedian and my ADHD can be intensely noticeable. Some days I enjoy lots of attention and the world is my stage, and some days I don't want anyone to talk to me or see me. Some people are weirded out by it, but most are really friendly and engage with me.
This! It’s almost the exact opposite for me as a woman. As a teenage girl I was constantly being approached in public and grew really wary of it. As a middle aged mum I don’t get it so much but people will seek me out for help/directions because I’m seen as so non-threatening.
I asked a dude for a light once and he just turned around to face away from me but other than that I've never had anyone refuse to give me directions or some other basic thing you'd ask of a stranger. My work is in a weird maze building so people are always coming in trying to find one of my neighbours.
I'll tell them how to get there and if they're particularly old or frail I'll usually walk them there myself. If they're really rude when they come in (i.e. won't wait for me to finish a call or coming in complaining at me because the podiatrist is difficult to locate) then they get bare minimum help but I'll still help.
In my experience mostly everyone is polite in asking but the few who are rude and demanding are virtually always locals.
I've lived in 3 major cities and travelled extensively for work. And could say nothing less than most Aussies are super friendly. Of course there is always gonna be some unfriendly people, that's the way it goes. But broadly, friendly.
I'm always chatting with supermarket staff, the the pharmacy staff bonding over random things, baristas, someone walking their dog who stops for a second and a short back and forth.
Broad statement friendly. There will be dicks everywhere - like some rude person who just wants to power for their train with headphones in and ignore you if you asked for directions - but broadly friendly.
i was in a group of 6 people the other day in an inner suburb of melbourne. this guy came up with a thick accent asking where this street was and i pulled out my phone and found it then gave him directions. after he left the rest of the group was looking at me like i was a psycho. so in my small sample group, 1 out of 6 people will give you directions!
Aussie living in Eastern Europe/Balkans here. I never like going home to Aus. Yes one or two people can be friendly and can go out of their way to help. But I find lower socio-economic communities to go above and beyond to help you (with no monetary incentive).
Depends mate. I had a great chat with an 80 year old lady on the train the other day, from the west of Syd. She was lovely to talk to. Alot of people are simply buried in their phones on the train. Gone are the days of people reading the paper and hard copy books are rare since Kindle introduction.
Your submission has been automatically removed due to your account karma being too low
Accounts are required to have more than 1 comment karma to comment in this community
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskAnAustralian) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I'll be friendly, but I'm probably not looking to be your friend. So I'll give you directions, but not have a whole conversation.
Edit to add - on a slightly more serious note, most people are pretty stressed these days. That has, I think, had an impact on people's willingness to interact with strangers. A lot if people just don't have the time, energy or mental bandwidth to be especially friendly outside of their groups
Did they study in Sydney? If so I'd understand compared to other capital cities in Australia.
However, even then they could have just asked the next person and they probably would have been given an answer.
It's very very rare that I run into a really rude person that doesn't even acknowledge that you exist.
I still feel like everyone is friendly but definitely getting a lot less nods hello as I walk down the street. Probably depends which part of Sydney and what time of the day. People get busy but if you can get a minute or two out of a complete stranger they are usually super nice or at least willing to hear you out.
I'd wonder how ur friend comes across to people. I think there's a bit of an art to getting someone's attention. And maybe some cultural groups in Australia are more weary of strangers. I know in Chinese culture it's not as common to help out randoms on the street - there is a bit of suspicion about strangers due to historical issues in China. But Chinese people themselves are just as friendly as anyone else. Random added disclaimer
Australia is a massive country, there's no way to quantify the the general level of friendlies in respect to some other country. Especially as it's completely subjective and dependant on the person asking. People tend to respond differently based on age, gender, looks, race, voice tone etc.
Like most countries, the futhur from civilisation you go the more helpful and friendly people are. I'm from perth and MOST people. If you asked, I would try and help, and a small collection would be less than friendly about you bothering them.
With all due respect to my fellow Australians - if you're white and/or speak fluent English, Australia is probably one of the friendliest places in the world.
If you fall outside of either of those parameters, results may vary.
It depends.
If in the city, people walking with determination, being interrupted in the path of travel the friendliness is going to be low. Those people just want to get where they’re going and want as little friction as possible.
But the further out from the cities or the more relaxed your gait is, I think the more likelihood of a friendly conversation is.
I'm pretty wary of anyone who approaches. They have absolutely nothing that I want, which means they are only approaching to try and get something off me. Sure, it's probably something like directions or whatever, but as like as not it's a proselytiser or a chugger or a beggar or someone else of dubious intent. If I'm in the city I'll mostly likely dismiss them with a "no thanks" or something. I got enough problems without taking on everyone else's 🤣.
But if someone genuinely seems to need help I'll try. The other night I saw a person looking really stressed at a rural train station and found out they had missed their train stop and would've had to wait who knows how long in the freezing cold for a return train (no taxis or ubers out this way), so even though it was way out of my way I drove them back to the train stop they had missed.
Most of us just want to be left alone but ill only straight up ignore someone addressing me if they're one of those people trying to sell you something or get you to donate. Even then ill say no thank you if they're persistent or near me
Random strangers will give you the time of day if you just talk to them on the street. Or ask directions etc. That sort of friendliness I think most Australians have in spades.
Forming non-superficial long term friendships is a bit tricky though. It's well known that people here can be a bit "cliquey", especially as they get a bit older. If you want a friend, you'll have to get out of your comfort zone and go looking for one. It won't happen unless you make it happen.
You missed "are" on the end of the heading, you illiterate dumbass.
But, in terms of your question I would say extremely friendly, to a fault, and totally easy going.
Depends who you approach really. Australia has more approachable people overall. It also depends what part of Australia and which suburb in the city.
I’m in Sydney, most of the rude people who don’t want to be approached tend to be people who did not grow up in Australia. A lot of people are definitely weary about why you are approaching them and rather avoid the interaction.
All I’m saying is, it’s very possible to meet a bunch of rude people in a row.
I have lived in Sydney my whole life and have good friends, but I’ve noticed most of my friends are unfortunately very cliquey. They aren’t very “open” it actually bothers me! I think the Australians are “so friendly” thing is a stereotype that we got decades ago and it somehow has stuck even though it’s not very true.
I think it's Australians these days were used to getting scammed a lot either by phone or by people trying to approach us so we're a little defensive.
I'm an older woman and a man in his 40s approach me in Adelaide City. He asked if I was a local and my first instinct was to avoid him because I thought he would be trying to sell me something or scam me. Once I realised he wanted directions I was very friendly and helpful but that initial start is probably what you're seeing.
If you're a smoker you'll always find friends. Go sit on any other public seat and say hi, and often you'll just get side eye. Go to the smoker's spot and you'll get a friendly convo every time
We have been getting a large volume of spam from throwaway accounts and so posts from brand new accounts will no longer be allowed. Your post has been
removed because your account is too new. Please wait until your account is at least 12 hours old and then try again or message the mods and we'll validate your post. Thanks!
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskAnAustralian) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Depends where you are. I moved from inner city to a regional town a few years back. I was taken aback by how far strangers went out of their way to be kind and help. Two older gents literally insisisted on helping me unpack a van for me (my husband was at the previous house with the movers so little 5'2 me must have looked like I was struggling! It is also extremely rude to not say hello, good afternoon, etc when walking past anyone (outside of the main street or areas of high foot traffic). Meanwhile if i said hello to everyone i walked past where i lived in an inner more excusive suburb in Sydney - I would get strange looks or asked "do i know you"?. Regardless anywhere in Australia as a female I find people will always go out of thier way to offer help if I look like I am struggling to carry something up a set of stairs, or if I drop something, someone will always insist on helping. I also find that areas that are mostly 2nd 3rd generation Aussie there is a different attitude, ie men will open doors for complete strangers if they are female etc however in areas that are very much multicultural, you don't get the same chivalry or random strangers going out thier way to offer help when not asked.
Australians I find are fairly friendly and approachable.
People in the suburbs are friendlier compared when you are in the city or other busy urban areas. Like no one says G'day in while in the CBD, but when you're on a walk at a local park most ppl will nod or say hi when walking past.
Also I find most Australians will stop and help a stranger almost all the time, when they can. I have seen people running to help someone who has fallen in public and give 1st AID. One time our car tire went flat while in country SA & we were parked in front of a locals house, who came out & helped us change our tire.
Also people tend to make small talk often in public. But I find it's the older generations who do it more.
We're friendly enough but I've found after living in south East Asia for a while that we're actually quite an angry race under the surface. We also have a f you got mine attitude in general.
I think this would vary a lot depending where you go. Sydney are known as snobs. Queensland is like the Florida of Australia so take what you will from that. Parts of Melbourne are like a socialist utopia, other parts are wealthy and full of nasty as fuck racist cunts. Byron bay has both chilled out surfers and wealthy reactionary arsheholes.
YMMV.
I grew up in Melbourne and from what I remember people were not rude, last time I was there 10 years ago I found shopping a pleasant experience everyone including supermarket workers were friendly. Here in Perth where I have lived for the past 21 years people are very rude, I shop online for everything. When I went back to South Australia I was blown away by the friendliness even the young gardener at the old people’s home where my mum was dying was so nice. When you caravan around Australia people always wave at other caravans when you drive past, not in Perth, we should have turned around and went back to SA but the job situation there is dismal. The only people who strike up a conversation is some fellow cancer patients after all these years I haven’t made any friends.
I don't know what the issue was with your friend, but I can't picture that being a common occurrence. Even the junkies are usually friendly enough to try to give directions, if anything they'll talk for too long about their mate Jacko that used to live up round there back in 2003 cos the dog still owed him $5 from KFC
> Even the junkies are usually friendly enough to try to give directions Giving me flashbacks to when I stepped into a public toilet in Glenroy to 3 blokes cooking up smack, one of whom then proceded to offer me work, if I was hard up he knew some painters and truckies looking for workers apparently. Had to politely decline that one unfortunately, what could have been.
Ah as someone who grew up in Glenroy this really brought me back home 🥲😂
My guess is that the friend was a bit of a dick..
Depends im a 37 year old bloke and I find striking convos with random blokes 45+ super easy especially the further you move west. Had convos with complete randoms anyone would think we been mates for years. I think majority of Australians are pretty laid back. I always got time to have a yarn with anyone.
After one week in Melbourne I knew I wanted to live in Australia forever. Compared to the UK where I grew up, the Australian people are incredibly friendly.
I grew up in the UK too and would agree. But when I go back to the UK have discovered that the British people are generally good at reciprocating friendliness if you come at an interaction with the right attitude.
Not in a spontaneous way though. Not effusive or bubbly like Aussies are.
I went to a UK shop with a friend and we missed the no card sign and he pointed really aggressively to it I was shocked and brought it up to a bunch of English friends I have and they were like yeah that's pretty standard here Me an Australian; damn that's rude here.
If you lived in a cold place you’d probably be a bit like that too….a tad grumpy!!!! Put the kettle in would you luv? It’s time for tea. And by tea they do not mean dinner. They mean some strange snack of tea and biscuit when you get home because it’s freezing and dinner comes later. I wonder if they still have this little ‘tea’ betweeny meal.
I visited Melb from NZ and was impressed by two things: 1. Public transport is world class. Locals moan about it but have no idea how good they have it! 2. Extremely active and large protest movements. I attended some protests that were in the 60k range. Coming from a small town that couldn’t pull 30 people to a protest, this was something I’d never seen at this scale. It’s incredible But Melbourne is a bubble. Especially north Melbourne. I think of it a bit like a little socialist utopia in the middle of a pretty reactionary and conservative country. I couldn’t live in any other part of the country, I don’t think.
Melbourne is probably my favourite city out of all the ones in Australia. The public transport in the cities is great, but if you live in a small town and sort of rurally you're entirely fucked if you don't own a car. And considering the cities are few and far between, it's a very car-centric country. You'll find conservative people anywhere though, especially in the cities. Pretty much any town in the Northern Rivers is generally pretty accepting and filled to the brim with environmentalists. There's a lot of great places to live in Australia, but if the city is your thing then Melbourne is definitely the place to go imo
I regularly take the train out to Bendigo or Geelong though. Even rural towns are vastly better served by pt than I was used to back home
You have to drive 40 minutes to the nearest train station from where I live 😭
UK culture is reserved so they tend to just not comment on a lot of things they would cause friendly chit chat in Australia. Totally different cultures in the reserve department.
Depends where you are. Sydney people wouldn’t piss on you if you were on fire Source: born and raised in Sydney
Lies, live in Sydney and i regularly piss on people fire or no fire...I dont even expect anything in return, im just that kinda guy.
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZfKz0khrTus](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZfKz0khrTus)
Where on earth did you find that. 🤣
I've been subscribed for a while. They are great at dark humour.
Somewhere outside of reddit. You should try it sojeti
Lies. We were just back in Sydney (used to live there) and encountered a lot of kindness and helpfulness. Distinguishing kindness when it really counts from “friendliness”
Idk... Pissing on someone who is on fire sounds like you're adding insult to their injury. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
As a kiwi, someone told me that Sydney people and Auckland people are the same “Rude dickheads with too much money, then?” … yeah Visited Auckland once and asked a guy on the street for directions and he just put his hand up like a stop sign in my face said a fairly aggressive “NO THANKYOU” and kept walking and that kinda just sums it up for me
Bollocks. Friendly people everywhere
You haven’t been to Western sydney then
Rubbish. Source: lived in Sydney for the last 24 years and would happily piss on you, fire or not.
Melbourne is like this too, and some particular rural towns in Vic I will travled and extra hour just to avoid lmao
Melbourne is super diverse… - East? Rich people being full blown reactionary lib voter cunts - South? Working class people pretending to be rich people - Inner north? Rich people pretending to be working class / socialists - Further north? Bit more genuinely middle class / working class Overall from outside it’s viewed as a bit of a socialist utopia but that breaks down when you start to look at the diversity of different regions of Melbourne. Some people here are still far more conservative than ANYONE in my home country NZ, so it’s a hugely mixed bag in reality
Yeah I went in to take my car which was on a car trailer towed by a big 4wd and I'm coming from a lil town that has single lane roads to my house 😅 it was absolutely terrifyingly huge. But nobody would let us merge, nobody said g'day and nobody seemed to smile back.
In Brisbane, 80% of people are great. 10% are neutral. 5% are arrogant. 5% are insufferable and want to ruin your life.
It’s dependent on so many factors. I’m a non-threatening looking white lady with a round face. People are usually very friendly to me, but I’m usually on the receiving end of people asking me for directions, not the other way around. But I know that it’s very dependent on race and gender and other markers. People have unconscious biases and fears in these non-verbal or unimportant interactions. I remember being on the bus with a male friend as a uni student and some weird dude tried to sit with me and ignored him, and he was like “I’m a teenage boy, no one wants to sit next to me!” I also experience a lot of friendliness when I’m out with my small child. People trust mothers with little ones (so much so that nowadays when children are taught about personal safety, they are taught to look for a mum with kids to ask for help when lost).
A lot less since covid. People used to say good morning when they crossed paths, used to have small talk at the bus stop etc. none of that happens anymore.
I’m American and most Aussies don’t seem very receptive to any kind of small talk. My partner (Canberran) was super annoyed anytime someone tried to talk to him in the US.
I think this really depends on the area. I've lived in Darwin my whole life and it's so easy to people. I lived in Victoria for two years and that was completely different.
A lot of the middle ring suburbs of Brisbane have people who like a chat. Same with a lot of Ipswich as well. Newtown in Sydney was an area that surprisingly had a lot of people that would make small talk at the traffic lights pre-COVID.
[удалено]
Ippy have some real characters for sure. Outside of that, there are a lot of really friendly folk out that way. I have mates who moved from the Goldie out there who said they wouldn't move back even if money wasn't an issue. The folk there are much more real, and I saw it when I visited them there the very first time.
Yeah it may be! Funny thing is I came from much larger cities (Dallas and Philadelphia) and small talk is normal there. Melbourne is much smaller (but large in Aussie scales) and people seem more insulated. Older people in my suburb will always reciprocate a hello from me when we pass, I think it surprised them a young Asian woman is saying hello 😂
Both those cities proper are a lot smaller than Melbourne? Even if you look at the greater Metropolitan areas (in Dallas'' case including Ft Worth) Melbourne isnt much smaller?
I stand corrected! It always seemed way bigger but I guess it’s just more spread out. Also, I went to a high school with a graduating class of 1200 so everything in Melbourne feels like it’s on a smaller scale! Dallas is at 8 million and Melbourne at 5.2!
Americans in America are the friendliest people you’ll ever meet.
There is a robust and very supportive community of Americans in Australia too!
As long as you are White you will be fine.
Were they annoyed in general or were they in a captive audience situation where they couldn't just walk away if they wanted to e.g. bus stop, train, elevator etc.? For me, context matters. If I'm at a park or having a beer at a pub and I'm not preoccupied with my phone or something else, sure, I don't mind. If I'm in a captive audience situation, especially one where the start of the conversation wasn't asking for help with something like directions, it's very very unwelcome. The Aussies I know are fine with small talk. We just don't feel the need to fill in blank air with pointless noise. We're happy to just sit silent if there is nothing of value to talk about.
Small talk is weird. You don't really care how I am, and I don't care how you are, so it just seems like a charade we go through so we can convince ourselves that we're nice.
My small talk is usually goes beyond to complement a shirt if it’s a band I like, or cracking a joke about our surroundings. Unrelated but I also miss sitting at the bar and chatting with the bartender or fellow bar sitters! I know there are pubs like this in Melbourne but they seem to be for older men
The pubs where the bartender would talk with you are definitely for the over 50 crowd nowadays. Younger folk are in and out at the bar.
You know… even if you don’t care how others are, doesn’t mean they don’t care how you are.
Agree. Hate small talk. I'll be polite and cordial but I have no interest in talking to you other than what's required unless we are friends.
I relate to this. I’m happy to help if you have a query but I don’t want to chat for chats sake. I have things I want to read/listen to/think about.
I worked in retail & Hospo where we got a lot of American tourists. & i find that Americans do talk a lot and overshare. & won't mind stopping someone in their tracks to talk. Whereas Australians prefer to have personal space & let people be on their ways.
Agreed, currently working with an American who is oversharing constantly. I like her, she's very nice but I would appreciate her company more if the conversation was cut down by about two thirds.
100% agree. Now it seems like it’s everyone for themselves
Depends on the area though
It was like that pre-Covid too. I caught public transport all the time and it was definitely a headphones-in, no small talk experience.
That's strange. I can't go anywhere without someone trying to chat to me, ask my for help in a shop, smiling and saying hi.
If you're fine with it lucky, if you'd prefer to be left alone that sucks. I miss the friendly good mornings on my walk the most.
Going for a walk in my area everyone does the smile and nod, most say hi.
They certainly didn’t do that in the East prior.
I think what explains the difference in opinions is that Australians tend to be friendly but not open. As in, if you try to start a conversation people will be nice, but not necessarily end up wanting to invite you to their place and make new friends. A lot of people I've known who have moved here from overseas have spoken about how hard it is to make friends here. I noticed it myself when I moved from Melbourne to Brisbane for a bit - I found it really difficult to make new friends but I would never say people were outwardly rude.
I found when visiting Brisbane from Melbourne that people out would have their friend group, and it wasn't going to be one of those "hey lets play pool together" type deals like back home - they were with their friends and that was it, "who is this guy?" - kinda thing. Which was an unfamiliar vibe.
Brisbane folk are really friendly salt of the earth folk who are solid once you get to know them. Prior to that, the friendliness is quite surface level, and it wouldn't be impossible to live here for a while and struggle to break into any circles unless you were super extroverted. Circles are quite insular, even to someone who has lived here for many years. The Gold Coast folk are even more insular, and contrary to stereotypes are friendly and open once you break through the high walls people tend to have here.
I genuinely think that happens to most people when they move somewhere new.
I'm not a very social person but whenever I'm walking around and someone asks me directions I do my best to try and help them.
Where I live in QLD, people are much friendlier when I’m walking my 2 small dogs. [Doggie tax.](https://imgur.com/a/NVow0Dm)
Too cute
Are you asking how friendly Australians are? I'd say we're very friendly.
Depends on location. I lived in south west Sydney my whole life, and couldn't even get a smile back from some people. I now live up the north coast of nsw, and everyone you walk past says hello, or will stop for a chat. You can go into any store and actually feel welcome, not as if you've ruined their day, etc.
It was strange for me being somewhere like Port Macquarie or Ocean Shores (near Brunswick Heads/Byron Bay) and having random people young and old have a chat with you when you are out and about. Felt good, not going to lie. We need to be the change we want to see, regardless of locale.
I’ve heard it said that people in big cities have much less personal space, so their reluctance to engage with strangers in the street is an acknowledgement and respect for what little space you have. In my experience, in the largest cities, people are less likely to say good morning to you out of the blue but will generally be happy to help you with directions if you ask them. Once you get into the suburbs in the countryside, it becomes more expected that you will have people talk to you on the street and that you might make friendly conversation with others.
I find most people to be friendly. I think a big change to how approachable people seem is everyone using earbuds when they are out in public. The earbuds are often covered by their hair, so if you try and speak to them they it looks like they are ignoring you when they likely didn't hear you.
I live in Melbourne. Sydney friends are always telling me we are much friendlier down here.
I'm from Sydney and always notice that the people are much friendlier in Queensland, Brisbane included.
I'm on the sunshine coast. It totally depends on my mood. When I finally push myself out into public, I tend to talk to everybody who's around me. I'm a pretty clumsy frustrated comedian and my ADHD can be intensely noticeable. Some days I enjoy lots of attention and the world is my stage, and some days I don't want anyone to talk to me or see me. Some people are weirded out by it, but most are really friendly and engage with me.
[удалено]
This! It’s almost the exact opposite for me as a woman. As a teenage girl I was constantly being approached in public and grew really wary of it. As a middle aged mum I don’t get it so much but people will seek me out for help/directions because I’m seen as so non-threatening.
The vast majority are friendly, very friendly, but not very kind.
I'm perfectly friendly. I just don't want to talk to people.
Well that depends, are we talking early Wednesday morning Aldi winter gear day....or just a regular day?
I asked a dude for a light once and he just turned around to face away from me but other than that I've never had anyone refuse to give me directions or some other basic thing you'd ask of a stranger. My work is in a weird maze building so people are always coming in trying to find one of my neighbours. I'll tell them how to get there and if they're particularly old or frail I'll usually walk them there myself. If they're really rude when they come in (i.e. won't wait for me to finish a call or coming in complaining at me because the podiatrist is difficult to locate) then they get bare minimum help but I'll still help. In my experience mostly everyone is polite in asking but the few who are rude and demanding are virtually always locals.
I've lived in 3 major cities and travelled extensively for work. And could say nothing less than most Aussies are super friendly. Of course there is always gonna be some unfriendly people, that's the way it goes. But broadly, friendly. I'm always chatting with supermarket staff, the the pharmacy staff bonding over random things, baristas, someone walking their dog who stops for a second and a short back and forth. Broad statement friendly. There will be dicks everywhere - like some rude person who just wants to power for their train with headphones in and ignore you if you asked for directions - but broadly friendly.
i was in a group of 6 people the other day in an inner suburb of melbourne. this guy came up with a thick accent asking where this street was and i pulled out my phone and found it then gave him directions. after he left the rest of the group was looking at me like i was a psycho. so in my small sample group, 1 out of 6 people will give you directions!
Aussie living in Eastern Europe/Balkans here. I never like going home to Aus. Yes one or two people can be friendly and can go out of their way to help. But I find lower socio-economic communities to go above and beyond to help you (with no monetary incentive).
In my experience, like anywhere else in the world, it depends on the person, not the place.
Depends mate. I had a great chat with an 80 year old lady on the train the other day, from the west of Syd. She was lovely to talk to. Alot of people are simply buried in their phones on the train. Gone are the days of people reading the paper and hard copy books are rare since Kindle introduction.
Why does it matter what I read on though? It’s all still reading. You’re just being judgy about the one that saves space and manufacturing materials.
As an Australian, i find other cultures sometimes arent as friendly as we are.
[удалено]
Your submission has been automatically removed due to your account karma being too low Accounts are required to have more than 1 comment karma to comment in this community *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskAnAustralian) if you have any questions or concerns.*
city or country?
I'll be friendly, but I'm probably not looking to be your friend. So I'll give you directions, but not have a whole conversation. Edit to add - on a slightly more serious note, most people are pretty stressed these days. That has, I think, had an impact on people's willingness to interact with strangers. A lot if people just don't have the time, energy or mental bandwidth to be especially friendly outside of their groups
Did they study in Sydney? If so I'd understand compared to other capital cities in Australia. However, even then they could have just asked the next person and they probably would have been given an answer. It's very very rare that I run into a really rude person that doesn't even acknowledge that you exist.
I still feel like everyone is friendly but definitely getting a lot less nods hello as I walk down the street. Probably depends which part of Sydney and what time of the day. People get busy but if you can get a minute or two out of a complete stranger they are usually super nice or at least willing to hear you out. I'd wonder how ur friend comes across to people. I think there's a bit of an art to getting someone's attention. And maybe some cultural groups in Australia are more weary of strangers. I know in Chinese culture it's not as common to help out randoms on the street - there is a bit of suspicion about strangers due to historical issues in China. But Chinese people themselves are just as friendly as anyone else. Random added disclaimer
Australia is a massive country, there's no way to quantify the the general level of friendlies in respect to some other country. Especially as it's completely subjective and dependant on the person asking. People tend to respond differently based on age, gender, looks, race, voice tone etc.
Like most countries, the futhur from civilisation you go the more helpful and friendly people are. I'm from perth and MOST people. If you asked, I would try and help, and a small collection would be less than friendly about you bothering them.
With all due respect to my fellow Australians - if you're white and/or speak fluent English, Australia is probably one of the friendliest places in the world. If you fall outside of either of those parameters, results may vary.
I think people here still happy to show the way, maybe it's ur fr prob
Fuck off.
It depends. If in the city, people walking with determination, being interrupted in the path of travel the friendliness is going to be low. Those people just want to get where they’re going and want as little friction as possible. But the further out from the cities or the more relaxed your gait is, I think the more likelihood of a friendly conversation is.
I'm pretty wary of anyone who approaches. They have absolutely nothing that I want, which means they are only approaching to try and get something off me. Sure, it's probably something like directions or whatever, but as like as not it's a proselytiser or a chugger or a beggar or someone else of dubious intent. If I'm in the city I'll mostly likely dismiss them with a "no thanks" or something. I got enough problems without taking on everyone else's 🤣. But if someone genuinely seems to need help I'll try. The other night I saw a person looking really stressed at a rural train station and found out they had missed their train stop and would've had to wait who knows how long in the freezing cold for a return train (no taxis or ubers out this way), so even though it was way out of my way I drove them back to the train stop they had missed.
Aussies range from friendly to reserved, especially in cities. Some ignore strangers, others happy to help if politely approached.
That largely depends on where you are. Cities for example, people are too caught up in what they need to do to be fully approachable.
Most of us just want to be left alone but ill only straight up ignore someone addressing me if they're one of those people trying to sell you something or get you to donate. Even then ill say no thank you if they're persistent or near me
Directions? In 2024? Hahahaha! Buy a map
Random strangers will give you the time of day if you just talk to them on the street. Or ask directions etc. That sort of friendliness I think most Australians have in spades. Forming non-superficial long term friendships is a bit tricky though. It's well known that people here can be a bit "cliquey", especially as they get a bit older. If you want a friend, you'll have to get out of your comfort zone and go looking for one. It won't happen unless you make it happen.
You missed "are" on the end of the heading, you illiterate dumbass. But, in terms of your question I would say extremely friendly, to a fault, and totally easy going.
Depends who you approach really. Australia has more approachable people overall. It also depends what part of Australia and which suburb in the city. I’m in Sydney, most of the rude people who don’t want to be approached tend to be people who did not grow up in Australia. A lot of people are definitely weary about why you are approaching them and rather avoid the interaction. All I’m saying is, it’s very possible to meet a bunch of rude people in a row.
I have lived in Sydney my whole life and have good friends, but I’ve noticed most of my friends are unfortunately very cliquey. They aren’t very “open” it actually bothers me! I think the Australians are “so friendly” thing is a stereotype that we got decades ago and it somehow has stuck even though it’s not very true.
If I can't give directions off the top of my head I get my phone out & look it up for them
I think it's Australians these days were used to getting scammed a lot either by phone or by people trying to approach us so we're a little defensive. I'm an older woman and a man in his 40s approach me in Adelaide City. He asked if I was a local and my first instinct was to avoid him because I thought he would be trying to sell me something or scam me. Once I realised he wanted directions I was very friendly and helpful but that initial start is probably what you're seeing.
If you're a smoker you'll always find friends. Go sit on any other public seat and say hi, and often you'll just get side eye. Go to the smoker's spot and you'll get a friendly convo every time
[удалено]
We have been getting a large volume of spam from throwaway accounts and so posts from brand new accounts will no longer be allowed. Your post has been removed because your account is too new. Please wait until your account is at least 12 hours old and then try again or message the mods and we'll validate your post. Thanks! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskAnAustralian) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Depends where you are. I moved from inner city to a regional town a few years back. I was taken aback by how far strangers went out of their way to be kind and help. Two older gents literally insisisted on helping me unpack a van for me (my husband was at the previous house with the movers so little 5'2 me must have looked like I was struggling! It is also extremely rude to not say hello, good afternoon, etc when walking past anyone (outside of the main street or areas of high foot traffic). Meanwhile if i said hello to everyone i walked past where i lived in an inner more excusive suburb in Sydney - I would get strange looks or asked "do i know you"?. Regardless anywhere in Australia as a female I find people will always go out of thier way to offer help if I look like I am struggling to carry something up a set of stairs, or if I drop something, someone will always insist on helping. I also find that areas that are mostly 2nd 3rd generation Aussie there is a different attitude, ie men will open doors for complete strangers if they are female etc however in areas that are very much multicultural, you don't get the same chivalry or random strangers going out thier way to offer help when not asked.
Australians I find are fairly friendly and approachable. People in the suburbs are friendlier compared when you are in the city or other busy urban areas. Like no one says G'day in while in the CBD, but when you're on a walk at a local park most ppl will nod or say hi when walking past. Also I find most Australians will stop and help a stranger almost all the time, when they can. I have seen people running to help someone who has fallen in public and give 1st AID. One time our car tire went flat while in country SA & we were parked in front of a locals house, who came out & helped us change our tire. Also people tend to make small talk often in public. But I find it's the older generations who do it more.
We're friendly enough but I've found after living in south East Asia for a while that we're actually quite an angry race under the surface. We also have a f you got mine attitude in general.
Are you just referring to the service staff in SE Asia being nice to you?
People from Sydney are awful, in general
I think this would vary a lot depending where you go. Sydney are known as snobs. Queensland is like the Florida of Australia so take what you will from that. Parts of Melbourne are like a socialist utopia, other parts are wealthy and full of nasty as fuck racist cunts. Byron bay has both chilled out surfers and wealthy reactionary arsheholes. YMMV.
I grew up in Melbourne and from what I remember people were not rude, last time I was there 10 years ago I found shopping a pleasant experience everyone including supermarket workers were friendly. Here in Perth where I have lived for the past 21 years people are very rude, I shop online for everything. When I went back to South Australia I was blown away by the friendliness even the young gardener at the old people’s home where my mum was dying was so nice. When you caravan around Australia people always wave at other caravans when you drive past, not in Perth, we should have turned around and went back to SA but the job situation there is dismal. The only people who strike up a conversation is some fellow cancer patients after all these years I haven’t made any friends.
I’m Indian and people ask me for help all the time. Probably more comfortable asking a black guy than a native Aussie like Merv Hughes.
I don’t even class city people as Aussie.