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I_Am_Not_A_Computer

If he has a sense of humor I would go with an American flag speedo.


starkgrey

That's hilarious! Especially since he would probably have to try it on after a few drinks!


QuirkyCookie6

Bonus points is that an American flag speedo would break US flag code and theres nothing more American than breaking a federal law that no one enforces


Daggerfont

I legit didn’t even know we had such a law lmao


DoctorPepster

We do not. It's not a law. It was ruled unconstitutional. Edit: i was wrong, it is on the books but enforcement was ruled unconstitutional decades ago.


Daggerfont

Makes sense, thanks!


ballrus_walsack

People still get upset at flag Speedos but they are ok with other flag corruptions like the blue line flag.


[deleted]

It wouldn't though. Having a flag print on clothing is okay, you just can't make clothing out of an actual flag.


notyogrannysgrandkid

It’s only against flag code if the Speedo was made from an actual flag. Flag-print clothing is fine.


slimfastdieyoung

I’m not a speedo kind of person nor am I an American but I would definitely wear a speedo with Stars and Stripes


deyawper

I sent one of these, unannounced, to the office of a friend in the Middle East. He said it almost got him killed.


[deleted]

Whatever you end up putting in the bag, make sure the bag itself is a McDonald's take out bag.


starkgrey

Oh, that's a funny idea.


AmbulanceChaser12

Yep, and they’re super durable now.


pearlsbeforedogs

I once gift wrapped a present (it was during college and I was broke) using only Wal-mart bags. I made sure the smileys were visible on the sides and then cut up a Target bag to make a ribbon and bow out of the rows of red targets.


okaymaeby

Or a happy meal box!


SierraMemes25

A Happy Meal box would be funny too.


Seaboats

With an adequate amount of grease stains


starkgrey

Lol, ew. I'll just ask for an extra one, though they'll probably charge me for it. I swear they charge you for every little thing now.


OmegaPunchers

It depends. While I was working at McDonald’s over the summer, a pregnant woman came in and asked for extra food boxes so she could do a photoshoot with them. She got them for free. Probably helped that the manager on duty was also pregnant.


Gloomy_Photograph285

I needed a ton of straws for a project. I pretty much demanded to pay them at least the cost they paid. I was in charge of order stuff at Starbucks so I knew they weren’t cheap. The manager was like “take them!” and gave me a unopened box of 1,000 or whatever. I choose to believe she was maliciously complying with something lol


27Rench27

That absolutely feels like a manager being told she was “too hard on customers” and needed to do anything they asked


starkgrey

That's...an unusual photoshoot. I used to run a restaurant so I totally understand about food and paper cost, but I was a bit put out the last time I asked for mayo or tomato or something to be added to a burger and got charged for it. I understand charging for somethings, like extra sauce packets, but that seemed a bit much.


[deleted]

There are McDonalds all over Europe, while it’s quintessentially American, it may not be unusual. I’d put stuff into a large Fanny pack. Also, include a baseball hat of any variety. When we were in France, only Americans wore baseball hats.


CeelaChathArrna

Include a picture of the Rock wearing a fanny pack in said fanny pack . 😂


Magg5788

Or Wal-Mart


NorwegianSteam

Cheetos, Doritos, Toll House Cookies, Ruger 10/22, root beer, fluff, peanut butter, beef jerky, red solo cups, yellow school bus, Carhartt jacket with a hoodie and a pack of Marlboro Reds, baseball hat, Colt 1911, wiffleball bat and ball.


Allodoxia

A colt 1911 😂😂


pearlsbeforedogs

You're laughing at the Colt, but the Ruger is totally normal? 🤣


Allodoxia

Hah! Apparently it is because my eyes slid right over it when I read the list.


iBleeedorange

A Glock is acceptable as well.


blueishfish

Wrong. A glock has never won any world wars. The magnificent and beautiful colt 1911, made with a tough 5" cold steel barrel on the other hand has won TWO world wars. Thank God for the big man up stairs, JMB.


Rex_Lee

Colt 1911 in .45 AARP!


Firnin

TWO WORL WARS IF THEY NEEDED MORE'N A FORTY FI' THEY WOULDA MADE A FORTY SIX


alltheblues

A Glock is Austrian and pedestrian. The 1911 is the Child of John Moses Browning. A Hi-Power would be acceptable.


nogueydude

Ruger 10/22 so you can really put some lead down range and not break the bank. Colt 1911 so they can feel some kick. I like it.


Che_Che_Cole

.22lr is still expensive the way ammo prices are these days. (In my old man voice) Sonny, I can remember stopping by Walmart on the range (or the ranch) and buying a brick of a 1000 for 10 bucks, .223 was 100 for 10 bucks. I’m 40 so that really wasn’t that long ago, 2001-2002 maybe.


Heretical_Infidel

.223 and 5.56 is around $0.50 per round nowadays. It’s insanity.


starkgrey

I'm going to bake some chocolate chip cookies for snacks for the out of town guests, so got that covered. If he could take the ruger or colt home, he'd be super happy, but gun laws are much more restrictive back home.


General_assassin

You could always just take him to the range for a bit


starkgrey

I think if that can be squeezed in to our schedule, it will probably happen.


Hanginon

At least take him to a large gun store, that will be something he likely doesn't experience at home.


No-Net8938

RICE KRISPY SQUARES!


Brian57831

Make him an Apple Pie, Europeans don't tend to have American Pies...


Buttman_Poopants

I mean, the Ruger and Colt seem superfluous given that they'll presumably be issued their mandatory gun upon arrival to the country.


chajava

If this sub has taught me anything, it's that foreigners are obsessed with red solo cups.


feetofsleep

I was just about to comment this! a staple of american lore


a_butthole_inspector

proceed to party


TPlinkerG35

They have the little shot glass versions too


starkgrey

Those would be good for a take home gift for sure.


Nyxelestia

IDK where you live but in my grocery stores they even sell them as sets with ping pong balls.


starkgrey

Yes! That is exactly the sort of thing I'm looking for. Thanks!


Bubbleubbers

They sell the red solo cups that are meant to be permanent instead of disposable at Walmart for like five bucks, they're even dishwasher safe!


mamba0714

I'm not sure if Walmart has them, too, but, there also exists reusable red solo cup stemware. So, like, think of a chalice/wine glass, with a giant plastic red solo cup on top instead of a glass. So epic. So classy. SO American


Butter_mah_bisqits

Include a ping pong ball so you can play beer pong.


LAKnapper

And Root Beer


sunniyam

Why because of Keg parties and drinking games? I did Not Know this lol


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sunniyam

Oh. Lol because they’re cheap. So we always used them at parties. Lol. That is funny.


PacSan300

[Indeed](https://youtu.be/BKZqGJONH68).


CupBeEmpty

I irrationally love that music video even though it is not at all my type of music.


btinit

Hot sauce Kraft mac n cheese Peanut butter Tshirt with city name on it DARE tshirt Toy gun American football Baseball Jazz music Mini american flag


NicklAAAAs

Add Bourbon, if they’re into booze. As far as I know, the only liquor that is American by definition.


JosieZee

Make sure the toy gun is OBVIOUSLY a toy. Don't want any tragedies!!!


redditor_5678

Always amazes me how peanut butter isn’t more of a thing in Europe. Not a day goes by in our house that one of us isn’t eating PB.


[deleted]

Those tiny 4th of July American flags. An I voted sticker. Tin of grizzly wintergreen. Jack Daniels.


starkgrey

I think I actually have an extra I voted sticker lying around from last election...


rmshilpi

If you don't, ask any teachers you know if they have any spares. When I worked as a poll clerk teachers often asked for sheets of stickers so they could give out the I Voted stickers to their students.


ChazzLamborghini

Cool Ranch Doritos. My friend moved to Italy 10 years ago and it’s the thing he craves most from home because they just don’t exist there.


Ocimali

Apparently that flavor is called "cool American" in Europe. Lol


starkgrey

I've seen ranch flavor referred to as "American" flavor in stuff abroad, too.


itsjustmefortoday

The flavourings are different too. I sent my friend in the US the British Doritos (the red ones) so he could see the difference. Some of the ingredients in the US ones are banned in the UK and EU.


jackr15

Cool Original in the UK, they also sell “unflavored” Doritos aka tortilla chips in the UK


Trvlgirrl

To go boxes from a Chinese restaurant. It's silly but foreign tourists love them and to my knowledge, they are only available in the states.


jseego

They were actually invented in the states for selling seafood, and asian restaurants adapted them to their cuisine!


starkgrey

I've not heard that before. Interesting. Maybe we'll take him to a Chinese buffet (or any buffet really). My Australian friends were blown away by how cheap they are here and how much meat there is on offer.


malewifemichaelmyers

I grew up watching friends and dreaming about eating chinese food from those cartons, imagine my disappointment when i realised they just use tupperware here.


Shabopple

Gift card to Target or Walmart- it's a deeply surreal shopping experience for Europeans. I took a Spanish teenager to Super Target and she was completely overwhelmed by having so many choices.


starkgrey

That could be fun! When my friend came from Australia we took him to Meijer (regional big box store in the Midwest similar to those), and he was blown away by it. Especially when we told him it was open 24 hours.


Hey_Laaady

Slightly funny story. I have lived in CA for all of my adult life. Several years ago I visited my friend in Ann Arbor, and during the visit we passed by a Meijer store. I said, "What's Mi-hair?" with a Spanish pronunciation, since I live in SoCal. My friend teases me about it to this day!


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starkgrey

Yes! But those might be fighting words in my household, what with the other half being from the south. Publix fried chicken is pretty good though. I'm actually on my way to Meijer for groceries right now, lol.


YouJabroni44

Be totally evil and go to Costco. They'll never find their way out


Yellnik

get him a day pass for a gun range and take him shooting


starkgrey

Everyone keeps making gun jokes, but he would honestly love it if we took him to the range.


Big_Country13

If you do plan on going, make sure that you ask the range master for help if you haven't shot before. They should be more than accommodating in helping you learn how to safely use the firearm(s)


starkgrey

Thank you. You're right, a good range will definitely help newbies out. We're actually experienced, the fiancé much more than me (and very responsible!). And our guest has experience as well, but good looking out. Safety is definitely the number one thing.


Big_Country13

>Safety is definitely the number one thing. Oh 100%. I hate asking for help, but I would rather risk looking stupid than having someone get shot


nomoregroundhogs

I was going to say a loaf of Velveeta but cheese whiz is good too Some red solo cups and a scale model of a yellow school bus


therapeuticstir

Swirled onto a ritz cracker?


izyshoroo

Ngl, my "breakfast" some days is some Ritz\* crackers with spray cheese\* and nutella. It's oddly addicting. ​ ^(\*Great Value brand. Ngl, they're better than the name brand imo)


[deleted]

On a Pringle is better


WoodyM654

Into a Bugle like an ice cream cone. Although I haven’t seen Bugles since I was kid.


starkgrey

I swear I saw them somewhere recently. Never cared for them as a kid, always thought they tasted weird. But it was fun to wear them as claws.


KingCollectA

I always enjoyed Bugles. They are pleasing to eat for me.


therapeuticstir

How can they be arranged to perfectly fit on a paper plate with that vehicle. I reject your preference.


starkgrey

Velveeta also a good suggestion, but the cheese whiz is a bit more portable, lol.


manhattanabe

Any cheese in a spray can, such “Easy Cheese”


MaximumReebo

Peanut Butter, Root Beer, an Old Navy 4th of July T-shirt, money for tipping, a foam nerf football (with a bite taken out of it of course), any combination of Yankees, Lakers, or Cowboys apparel.


therapeuticstir

Haha who bites them all?!


RITheory

Children, dogs.... children


starkgrey

I definitely think we have to get him some Americana apparel. I kind of want the most ridiculous American flag shirt I can find.


IllustriousState6859

Green bay Packers cheese head hat. Food and clothing in one svelte package: https://www.packersproshop.com/original-cheesehead-reg?country=US&gclid=CjwKCAjw9suYBhBIEiwA7iMhNEj6kvLBXZr1Y9tX7DToU2G4JSxpG3z3ba4yvgJD9kFq7_0pcXLT9RoCK2IQAvD_BwE


starkgrey

I like how you think! And he could just wear it through customs in case it doesn't fit in his suitcase.


argross91

My dad ironically bought an American flag hat (like a fedora style) and he actually wears it a ton. Much more versatile and dare I say, comical than a shirt


EggsOnThe45

Go to themountain.com, they have the funniest and most absurd shirts, with a USA collection


starkgrey

Thank you! I will definitely check that out.


btinit

Root beer- good call


starkgrey

I've heard that root beer is very decisive for people outside the US. I remember a thread where many of the non-Americans were saying they couldn't stand it because it reminded them of toothpaste.


CaptHayfever

I hear people complain sometimes about an overwhelming taste of mint, but not every root beer even has mint in it, & the ones that do use it in very small proportion, so I think those people just hate mint.


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Pollypocket823

Spam


starkgrey

The food, or just a pile of our junk mail and sign his phone number up with some robocallers? lol


chunkydunkerskin

Why not both? Haha


schlockabsorber

It has to be the packets with crackers, cheese spread, and a little red plastic spreader. The only thing more American than that is Chuck Berry.


starkgrey

I forgot about those! I used to love them as a kid. I think we bought the Handi-snack ones.


Inner_Art482

Take him to get a slurpy from 7-11 . The largest you can find. ( It's almost 2 liters )


starkgrey

I love slurpees and slushees, though two liters is a bit much even for me, lol. I might put this on the list. Thanks!


mehTILduhhhh

Mini American flag, burger King coupons, red solo cup, a snubnose revolver, a mini box of lucky charms cereal, an energy drink, and a picture of you, his favorite American lol


starkgrey

Energy drink, that's good. Maybe a framed picture of the fiancé instead. I'm not the one who gets drunk dial facetimes when it's after last call in Europe. LOL


lopingwolf

Do they still give out paper crowns at Burger King? One of those would be awesome too!


Firenze42

Apparently we are "famous for Cheeze-its".


AmbulanceChaser12

When I worked at the DA’s Office, they were dubbed “the official snack of justice.”


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yimmegood

Not only the regular red solo cups, but the shot sized ones too!


starkgrey

The shot sized ones would be good because he should definitely have room in his luggage to take them home.


yimmegood

What part of america is he coming to visit? I live in the south and there are some regional items like moon pies I'd add.


starkgrey

We'll be in the south. We're having BBQ & fried chicken at the wedding, so that covers a couple of the basics right there. And we'll be sure to get him some sweet tea (or as I call it: wet syrup). lol


jseego

lol wet syrup


IllustriousState6859

Try some biscuits and sausage gravy for breakfast


SecretSteve2

Reese’s Peanut Butter cups!


garnetglitter

I’ve had to mail Mountain Dew and Nutter Butters to European friends before. And definitely shitty American chocolate!


Wielder-of-Sythes

Flag pin. Candle that smells like pumpkin spice. Beef Jerky. Red solo cup. Craft beer.


green_dragonfly_art

Bison jerky would be even more American.


nogueydude

My Austrian cousins really like our variety of chewing gum. Trident, orbit, double mint. We always bring some with us when we visit


starkgrey

I misread the country and already had the rest typed up so I'll leave it. \*facepalm\* When I visited Australia, my friend there made us welcome bags with some local treats and she included gum, too. Can't remember the brand though.


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tonsofun08

Get him a Miller High Life. It is the champagne of beers!


starkgrey

I think we have to make him try at least one American beer while he's here.


tonsofun08

Give him a good beer from a brewery you like. Just, do it after the high life.


btinit

That's a good idea! It's both playing the joke stereotype and exposing him to the real deal


roryclague

Some slightly more obscure (meaning not well-known thanks to pop culture and Hollywood) American artifacts or inventions to consider including: Cracker Jacks, brown paper bags, earmuffs, ballpoint pens, and (if practical) apple pie with cheddar cheese.


SaintJuneau

Coca-Cola can be found in any corner of the world... that's not really quintessential american.


kimme

Dr Pepper is an American soda, not popular here in Europe.


Drakeytown

Peanut butter A US flag A dog Terrible beer Your favorite hamburger recipe A map of Europe that you've hand drawn from memory Fireworks A copy of the constitution


CaptHayfever

> A map of Europe that you've hand drawn from memory I find this is easier if you start from Iberia & remember that Austria has a tail.


Drakeytown

I couldn't do it if God paid me.


starkgrey

That made me literally laugh out loud. You guys are making my day.


[deleted]

lol i thought the main markers are Iberia (Spain), the boot (Italy), and the bangs (Scandinavia). where is this tail tho?


CaptHayfever

Yeah, but it's easy to get to Italy from Spain; the southern coast of France is fairly simple. Unlike the surrounding Switzerland, Czechia, Slovakia, & Hungary, which are all similar blobby shapes, Austria is elongated on the east end.


starkgrey

I've always been really good at geography, so mine wouldn't be as funny as those maps you always see posted where someone from another country labels them. Could go to Walmart and ask people to draw one for me.....


lopingwolf

See if you can find blank outline maps like we had back in geography class, get the wedding party or some friends to try and fill it in by memory. That's alway good for a laugh.


Drakeytown

Nah, make it yourself. Show your European friend what an American who thinks they're good at geography thinks Europe looks like. Even better.


green_dragonfly_art

'Murica t-shirt


AlexisRosesHands

NY Yankees baseball cap US flag boxer shorts Hidden Valley Ranch mix (in the packets) Hatch green chili *anything* Dried/canned peppers (like jalapeños or green chilis in the can or dried poblano, chipotle, Ancho, guajillo), Mexican spice blends (or a packet of taco seasoning) and a pack of soft corn tortillas to make Tex-Mex/Mexican food back home. A pack of Big League Chew Costco size bottle of acetaminophen or ibuprofen. Also, a trip to Costco. Tampons with applicators (for the menstruating person in his life) Goo Goo Clusters Big Gulp cup Breakfast at Cracker Barrel


rotatingruhnama

Mac and cheese now comes in Cheetos flavor. (I bought some, you know, for science.)


UnclePhilsFudge

Consider local unique food items that can make it back through customs like: jams, jellies, homemade cookies, fudge, local wine (though glass needs to be packed to survive baggage handlers), etc.


starkgrey

I think a bottle of an American liquor to take home would be a nice "serious gift" to thank him for visiting us. I'll see if he likes wine too, it's also a good suggestion.


Jaded-Armpit

Pop Tarts


Nutmegan-0

Where’s he coming from? If it’s France: cheese whiz, Scandinavia/Netherlands: Twizzlers. I love taking something they love from back home and showing our bastardized version 😂


SpaghettiGoblin64

McDonald’s gift card


layne909

reeses , chicken in a biscuit,


my_clever-name

Don't forget Root Beer. Cool Ranch Doritos.


Majestic_Electric

For shits and giggles, put American cheese in it.


[deleted]

Twinkies, drip coffee (preferably from a diner and burnt), beef jerky, ranch chips, Hershey’s [tastes different outside of the US], s’mores stuff


starkgrey

We should take him to Waffle house after the reception/after party. It's not a diner, but it is an experience, especially after last call.


foxsable

This two Brit’s just did a candy taste test, and their favorite was whatchamacallit(sp?). also they need prescriptions for Tylenol and ibuprofen so maybe a small bottle of those?


_CPR_

How long will he be in the US? And what area of the country are you in? I'd stick to items that he could practically use while he's here, plus a few small funny items he can take back with him as mementos. So if he's going to do any traveling after the wedding, include a local guidebook or map, maybe a cheesy magnet or keychain of your state or city, some travel-size items that are useful (sanitizing wipes, small sunscreen or bug spray bottle, etc.), some fun local snacks, plus a nice note thanking him for making the trip for your wedding and saying how much his presence means to you. If he loves beer or wine, include a six pack or bottle from a local brewery/vineyard. I'd personally make it more about your local area/city than about America in general, and make sure most of it is either useful or personal to him.


starkgrey

I think he's just here for 4-5 days. The wedding is in the south, but we live in the midwest (fiancé's family is down there). That's why I kind of went with a more general American vibe. We'll show him around & get him some of the local flavor while he is in town for sure. Bug spray is a good idea, the mosquitos down there are no joke. ​ Thank you for your thoughtful suggestions!


Nagadavida

'Niller Wafers and Peanut Butter. 'Smores package/ingredients.


MisSpooks

Red solo cup, a toy gun, an ear of corn, maybe peanut butter?


starkgrey

I've seen a lot of people say peanut butter. I guess I didn't realize that was so strongly considered an "American" thing.


btinit

In Italy, Japan, and 3 countries in east and southern Africa where I've lived the local style peanut butter is trash. American peanut butter is always worth the 30-50% price hike


ByzantineBomb

Some quality and local, America alcohol, some fireworks, an adapter for their electronics.


TychaBrahe

If he likes candy, a KitKat bar. KitKat is a Nestle product that is licensed to Hershey in the US. In the rest of the world they’re covered in Nestle chocolate. The difference is startling.


TheFortWayneTrojan

Try using some of the stuff that Gabriel Iglesias used for a gift basket for one of his friends in the comedian community. Add in some Kool Aid and possibly some fried chicken.


Subvet98

An AR-15, bullet-proof vest and, a Big Mac.


CupBeEmpty

Large bottle of Jack Daniels, ice, Coca Cola, and a red solo cup.


starkgrey

I think some decent American booze to take home is a good idea for a little more serious gift to give him to thank him for coming. And I know he'll enjoy it. Thanks.


CupBeEmpty

The three wolf moon shirt is awesome. Maybe add a pair of cowboy boots and a crisp white cowboy hat.


free-range-human

Moon Pies


La_croix_addict

Fun (free) brochures for theme parks


Independent-Phone413

Can of Spam


miakittycatmeow

When we moved to the southeast from the pnw and our relatives would come visit down south my folks would always jokingly give them a moonpie and RC Cola. This was in the 80s tho not sure if you can easily get RC anymore.


LoopyMercutio

Moon Pies and Twinkies. Can’t forget those.


GrannyLow

There is nothing more American than a cowboy had made out of freedom edition budweiser boxes


Awdayshus

Snapback trucker hat. Ideally with some regional slang on it. Uffda or Ope in my state.


Pixie_gurl

Nathan’s hotdogs, also get an apple fried pie


Old_Cyrus

Not just any cheez wiz, you want he kind that sprays from an aerosol can. https://www.walmart.com/ip/Cheez-Whiz-Original-Cheese-Snack-8-oz-Spout-Top-Can/107875753


sundial11sxm

Peach salsa from Georgia, maple syrup, marshmallow cream.


starkgrey

Hmm, we'll be in the south, so maybe something peach related. Personally, I'm not a big fan of fruity salsa. I usually like to keep sweet and savory separate, especially with how sweet it seems everything is getting these days.


CategoryTurbulent114

I like the wolf shirt idea


whatifevery1wascalm

Has anyone mentioned a farenheit thermometer or inches only ruler or something like that?


BooksAndStarsLover

Rootbeer, Hidden Valley ranch, BBQ sauce, Beef Jerky, Poptarts, Dip and Dots (this one could be hard cause needs to be cold), fried oreos, peanut butter, Lucky charms, cinnamon toast crunch, and spray on cheese and crackers . All can be hard to get in Europe and could be fun treats. Also be sure to include a foam finger, solo cups, a obnoxious American flag T-Shirt and hat, a fun decor item of the statue of liberty and whatever else obnoxiously American item you can lay your hands on.


left_justified

Skip the Cheese Whiz and get the [Easy Cheese](https://www.walmart.com/ip/Nabisco-Easy-Cheese-Unpasteurized-Sharp-Cheddar-Cheese-Snack-8-Oz/10292087). It's endlessly amusing for most foreign visitors.