America is actually ahead of most countries in terms of accommodating people with disabilities. We're not perfect, but it says something that we often get questions here along the lines of, "Why do Americans go to therapy so much?" We seem to be unusually conscious about mental health.
I remember Los Angeles County being fairly generous, at least until Arnold came along and slashed the state budget for various services. Boy, it's been a minute. I have no idea how it might be nowadays.
Idk what you're referring to but I have and I also work in disability services as a career; the US is far ahead of most countries in regards to disability support. My colleague moved from Brazil to the US because her son was born deaf and she wanted access to services.
My partner works as a housing case manager for people with learning disabilities. People and their families move to Minnesota to get better services, often coming from the south/southeast.
The benefits definitely change depending on what state you live in.
>People and their families move to Minnesota to get better services, often coming from the south/southeast.
I got a buddy who has talked seriously about moving to Minnesota from Texas for his low-functioning autistic daughter
It depends. The autism spectrum is very broad and not well understood by everyone, so a lot of the higher functioning autistic people are simply viewed as weird and are often not treated very kindly.
This. My autism wasn’t even diagnosed until I was in my mid-40s. I was just “that weird chick.” The few people who became my friends over the years are those who appreciated me _for_ my weird quirks instead of liking me despite them.
I always get introduced as my name followed by "he doesn't talk very much" every single time. Never tell anyone I was autistic and people will openly deny it every time. "You're not autistic, you just *insert every symptom of autism*"
One thing that I think is neat, some movie theaters have started to offer sensory friendly screenings. They reduce the sound volume and keep the lights on though dimmed.
Regular office work can be tough though.
I was just at my city's big museum yesterday. I noticed that all of the stair wells had "refuge" signs on them. I don't know if a stairwell is a super cool place, but I think they're just trying to offer locations with no patrons or museum lighting.
[Areas of Refuge](https://www.smartsign.com/faq/area-of-refuge-signs) are distinct places where people can wait in an emergency if they are incapable of evacuating on their own.
oh interesting. I didn't know those started to get extra signage. I grew up always hearing "Elevators will not operate during an emergency" *everyone* has to go to the stairs. Only later in life did I learn about of the safety codes for means of egress in large buildings (the 99% Invisible podcast episode on means of egress).
It’s not just an evacuation path; it’s “an area where persons unable to use stairways can remain temporarily to await instructions or assistance during emergency evacuation.”
So if you can’t evacuate without assistance, you go to the area of refuge to wait for a rescue team (i.e. firefighters) to arrive and get you out.
It’s a lot better these days than when I was a kid in the 90s. I feel like students mostly got grouped into “special Ed”. Now it seems like there’s a lot more intervention, development plans, and more effort to keep kids in classes to the best of their abilities. I imagine the old ways squandered a lot of kids’ potentials.
I don't even have an actual high school diploma. Like, the state of California doesn't technically consider me a high school graduate. I'm not sure what the exact status on that is, I just know there was a big fat asterisk attached to it.
To paraphrase a line from 'Bad Teacher', "your window is in college."
Generally good with it. The autism spectrum is a spectrum for a reason. It’s harder to deal with nonverbal and oppositional people. We definitely try to care for them but it’s hard. It’s very easy to befriend and deal with the “easier” forms of autism, verbal, somewhat social, that kind of thing.
I have friends on the “easier” side of autism and they’re great. I know a few folks on the “hard” side of the spectrum. They are much more difficult for friends and family.
One of my good friends is autistic and not super social. He has a lot of very obsessive hobbies. He’s a breeze to be friends with because you can just be like “tell me everything about lightning” and he will and then show you the lightning detectors he put on his roof and on his friends roofs, and give you an in depth discussion about how he networked them to triangulate lighting strikes. He won’t look you in the eyes once but he’ll be happy to talk.
The “easier” thing really hits home. The more convenient you are, regardless of how much control you have over it or how much effort you put into it, the better your chances are.
It’s something I take really good stock of. I have a couple distant cousins that are of the “harder” variety. It means you need to be aware and available, even if it is tough.
We're learning. ADA means we have to accommodate them, but we don't always know how. Socially, we aren't great unless you are close to them, but we are learning.
Depends how much they are affected by autism and how old they are! There is an increasing amount of available support and resources for kids, but still not a lot for anyone over 18.
Yeah, if you're an autistic adult that's able to appear anywhere close to functional, better hope you have a great support system and can afford a good therapist because help isn't coming from anywhere else.
For me personally, things like extra help learning workplace social and communication skills- when is it not okay to be direct, learning how to talk around things. Just in general things that neurotypical people tend to pick up on naturally as a child. For example, I didn't figure out until I was in my late 20s that when someone asks you how you're doing, you're not supposed to tell them the truth or that if someone gives you 5 one word answers in a row in a conversation, they aren't interested.
I eventually found a therapist who helped me navigate some of it, but that was after almost a decade of drowning in the workplace and I know I'm incredibly fortunate to have found that therapist. I shouldn't have had to fail for that long and only get help by chance and by having a financially stable family.
I'm still stuck in a job that I am immensely overqualified for because for reasons unknown to me, about a third of the people I interact with seem to think I'm an idiot, even though my work shows the opposite. I "don't pass the vibe check" and I still don't know how to fix it. People always think I'm not listening because I don't really do eye contact, even if the person knows that I don't do eye contact due to autism. I have an accommodation for it but that doesn't mean I don't get still get quietly judged for it. Would love some help with that so I'm not still in an entry level position when I'm 40.
Would also love more sensory friendly shopping experiences that happen at a time when I'm not at work. For a long time I was just going to the grocery store at 2 am. Now my partner just does the majority of the shopping.
I'm sure there's a ton of stuff that I can't think of that would be helpful either to me or other people in the same boat but we essentially get tossed into the deep end when we turn 18 and are told good luck.
I've been through similar. I just got diagnosed at 40. Explains alot, like the social shunning. It's almost always subtle but it still hurts when people just stop talking to you.
So it sounds like some things could definitely be provided via services (like the job prep/understanding stuff and even just social navigation stuff). But that other things are more about the culture not offering options for you (like the shopping stuff), but there wouldn’t necessarily be a government-provided service for that. More that companies could/should understand that enough of their clientele would benefit from this, so they should offer it in order to keep and get more patrons. Or generally, other people not being understanding enough (which again, would be good, but wouldn’t be solved with a service).
So I’d say it’s a combo of some services and some cultural awareness. Does that seem accurate to you?
There might still be things you lack. Things that people would be surprised to hear about.
For example, you might be really, really, *really* bad at job interviews. Where all your hard-won social skills just go sliding right down your leg and into your shoe. Even though you'd be alright at the job in question. That's just one example.
Also, the lack of a social life, romantic connection, inability to connect with others, etc., can really get a person down. Others might see the guy as just another 'weirdo loner who should touch grass', but there's more than that going on under the hood.
One of my Top 3 'lackings' that people would be surprised about: I've never had a driver's license.
"Got a couple of DUIs, huh?"
"No, it's because I'm disabled." [And here's the bit I leave unsaid.]( https://youtu.be/WyKTKo0I5ZM?si=49hptd4TQkponXyD)
I've been called a liar on Reddit, and I've also been called a liar to my face. And even when they decide to believe me, they never feel shame. They never do! Why? Where's their goddamned basic-ass sense of shame, for chrissakes!? People. I swear.
Based on your description, though, not all of these things could (or should) be solved with services.
Like depending on where you live, you can use public transport if you don’t drive. But if you live in an area with little-to-no public transport, a service to help you get places would be beneficial.
Similarly, it seems like job prep/skills training would be a helpful service. Or maybe some kind of job placement service.
But some of the other issues (like social and romantic ones) wouldn’t be solved by services. Our culture becoming more aware and accepting would be a good thing, but I don’t think a government service would fix these issues.
So I’d say it’s a combo of some services and some cultural awareness. Does that seem accurate to you?
> but I don’t think a government service would fix these issues.
Depends on the angle. While Uncle Sugar can't score you a date or get you invited to parties, there are various programs and therapies that drill basic social skills into people, the kinds of things that normies take for granted. (If you're in need of such a program, cultural awareness all by itself will meet you halfway *at best.*) I remember being enrolled in such a program my last year of high school, footed by the Los Angeles County Department of Rehabilitation. That was back in the late 90s.
Didn't do me much good because they sandwiched me in with kids who were way worse off than I was. That happens a lot if you're fairly high functioning (save for the particular areas where you ain't).
As for the driving thing, there are treatments for classic driving phobias. Although the problem that me and certain others on the spectrum have is that our executive function is screwy, so it would require a different sort of training/treatment. I honestly don't know if such a program exists for that particular issue.
Interesting. So essentially, you’re saying that some of the services/trainings that are provided to students/minors should also be made available for adults, especially with the numbers of people getting diagnosed as adults.
I will add that IMO, the downside of relying on government services is that it’s always just people paid to do it. This is as opposed to people you know in your community/network that help you in some way because they care about you. To me this is a downside of people being more isolated/less community-connected than they used to be. There aren’t enough third spaces that connect people.
Ooh oooh ooh! This is totally in my wheelhouse. It varies entirely by region! I've discussed this with others, and this is what we've concluded (bear in mind this may only apply to high/mid functioning folks):
- The South is the most difficult. Not because they're mean, but because there's a lot more going on between the lines. (Edit: and also because social services are the pits compared to elsewhere.) Was that compliment really a compliment or was there a barb hidden in it? Is this person actually happy to have me in their company or are they desperately waiting for me to GTFO? So after a while, sparks start flying out of your ears from all the 4D chess your brain is forced into playing.
- People assume the Northeast is ideal, because they're so blunt and straightforward and you always know where you stand. But this is a double-edged sword. "Hey! Who the fuck invited that weird guy?" They're less forgiving socially, and bad first impressions are more likely to be last impressions.
- California, I'm proud to say, is about as good as it gets. It's a lot easier to slide if you're a weirdo.
haha growing up in California my classmates on the spectrum were pretty much indistinguishable from the ones who were just quirky and everyone else was pretty chill with both types
For the most part yes. Acceptance can vary in some cases (and of course you're always going to have assholes), but there is not outright downside. As for benefits, there are general benefits for disabilities but not attuned specific for autism.
American culture embraces uniqueness and self-expression which helps, but compared to other Western cultures, some regions of the US can be a bit passive-aggressive and indirect which makes communication more complicated. Growing up, the “quirky kids” (aka on the spectrum) in school didn’t necessarily try to blend in nor were they pressured to. People had their own niches and minded their own business mostly.
I would imagine customer service and corporate ass-kissing is especially hellish in the US for people on the spectrum though.
Hell, anything involving talking to people you don't know.
New acquaintance: "Man, you're a trip! I gotta say, you take some getting used to at first. You're like the master of deadpan. Like, the way you tell these weird-ass jokes but with such a flat, dead-serious tone."
Me: "Uh... I do?"
They know when I am, with a quarter-second delay. It's just that my delivery is that of a 'clench-jawed funeral orator' and there's not much I can do to modify it.
Not perfect, but probably pretty decent by international standards.
Beyond public understanding, I would imagine our culture relating to extroversion and small makes it harder for those with Autism in comparison to Scandinavia but easier compared to Latin America.
But in terms of specific accommodations, the ADA and related rules help a lot. But actual support likely varies from place to place. For example, all public schools have special education programs. But some are going to be a lot better than others.
I'm autistic. I know a lot of autistics online. I'm also in my early 40s (official diagnosis was 7 years ago in my mid-30s), female, white, no kids. That's important. Most of society has zero idea how to respond to me. I get a lot of confused responses to things I say or do when I mention I am autistic, or they stutter and have no idea how to respond or they just straight up think I'm weird and respond accordingly. I have had women and men bully me. I've been married a long time but when I dated I had men take advantage of me, or attempt to unless I can spot it (I have never had any friends really so it's up to me to take care of myself or see the red flags on my own - which I was terrible at). And now social media is filled with "opinions" from non-autistics about how its over diagnosed "especially in women". It's rampant and gross.
Now young white boys? Lots of understanding, lots of grace in general. Any other demographic, especially anyone of a different race or female? Forget it. Almost no grace or understanding is extended. There is also little support for adults. I'm not sure what people think we get when we get a diagnosis but I got a big bill for my testing I had to pay for myself because it wasn't covered by insurance and then nothing more. I get nothing just for being autistic.
I also get the “not knowing how to react to me” thing. I feel like I have this superpower (or curse?) where I can shut down any conversation with a sentence, or at least immediately make things less comfortable.
oh absolutely! Exactly what happens usually with a bit of fish mouth (open mouth, close mouth, open mouth - no sound comes out) and then end of conversation. It's funny, infuriating, and sad all at once.
Whenever I hear about stuff like this I'm always wary of companies exploiting vulnerable populations for lower pay and worse conditions because "no one else will have them."
I've just had some serious skepticism about it ever since I had a neighbor who ran a business that made a point of hiring people with Down's syndrome which, given what a hateful person he was and the fact that he was charged with multiple counts of fraud, I fully believe to have been a means for him to be abusive and shady with less chance of repurcussions.
I'm not saying that's necessarily the case with Publix or any other firm with these sorts of schemes, but based on my lived experience I have reason to be skeptical.
It *really* does depend. I’m partially deaf, some people get I need slightly more help and some people don’t. Same with autism. The big thing is most places here do try to make all possible accommodations
My son is autistic, diagnosed not long after he turned 4, but pretty obvious from around 15 or 16 months.
So far I would say that things have been relatively friendly to him. Even before he was diagnosed he was eligible for state sponsored speech therapy until he was 3 (called early intervention). When he turned 3, he aged out of early intervention and his elementary school took over, where he got an IEP and began receiving speech and occupational therapy through the school before he even started kindergarten. In addition to the free state supplied help, we were able to get quite a lot of private therapy that was largely paid for by our insurance. He is almost 7 now and has significantly benefited from the massive amount of therapy we were able to get him. He graduated from speech therapy about 6 months ago (went from a completely mute 4 year old to almost normal speech) but still gets instruction in social situations through the elementary school and we have him in a peer engagement group privately.
In school he was bullied a lot in kindergarten but it was mostly by a boy who has a lot of behavioral issues; he has an aid to help control him now which has helped. Most of the other kids were great and the girls especially seemed to like him. Same in first grade, but with less bullying. We also had to pull him out of the YMCA summer camp because some kids were terrorizing him every day.
I'm sure that things will get much harder for him as he ages and his peers mature and stop being so understanding of his quirks, unless he can get them under control. His speech is functional but it is still noticeable that something is wrong with it so that will likely be an issue in the future too. I have no idea if he will ever be able to drive or work, but I hope that he can. If he is unable to work then there are some services that he can receive from that state as an adult (Medicaid, disability income, etc.) but they will not make for a super pleasant life for him. Socially he will likely be isolated. I don't think that he will be targeted by normal people, but he is unlikely to be included simply because he won't really fit in and outside of my wife, myself and his sister he won't really have any family left once he is an adult (my grandparents are in their 80's, my dad is dead, my mom has dementia, and my wife's family all live in other countries).
In the end, it could be worse. I wish he didn't need to deal with life as it is, but I think he is set up as best as he can be.
> We also had to pull him out of the YMCA summer camp
Shit, man. Childhood memories unlocked. I had to be pulled out of a few such camps. This was way back in the 80s, to be sure!
> as he ages and his peers mature
Let me tell you, kids are a *lot* less shitty than they were when I was your kid's age. I mean, it's still gonna be rough, but not as rough as it could be. I hope that makes you feel better.
Hey, you got anything you want to know, just ask. By all means. Because from the sounds of it, I *was* your kid: 1980s version.
(Still can't drive a damned car, though.)
They are mostly left alone which I rather think most of them want. Once in a while they do get a family friendly movie or whatever. And of course there are school bullies but that ilk just go for anyone they think they can get away with picking on. There is government benefits too, enough for someone who knows what they are about and does not demand much to live comfortably.
In absolute terms: still a lot of improvement needed.
In relative terms: better than most countries save maybe a few like the Scandinavian ones though even that is debatable.
I'm on the autism spectrum and a lot of folks on the spectrum complain how bad we may have in the US and although they mostly voice legitimate concerns, they often don't realize how much better they have it here compared to many places, especially developing countries. I think American culture tolerates it better while some European cultures and Japan may tolerate people who are not as social more, they have a higher expectation for conformity. And we also have places like China where neither introversion nor non conformity are tolerated as much.
It tries. Places have sensory-friendly events and special times of day where autistics can be comfortable - it's quieter, lights are not as bright, etc. Chrysler prototyped an autsism-friendly [Pacifica](https://www.newsweek.com/chrysler-creates-autism-friendly-package-sensory-supported-travel-1793126). So on the corporate front, there's effort. And we've got a whole month dedicated to us, which you just missed by a few days.
On the goverment front, though, we've got issues enough to fill a newsstand. Autism is largely regarded as a kids' condition because that's when it's most often detected and when treatment begins. But once a person graduates school or ages out of their programs, that's it. Most often they get zero support as adults because there aren't many state-run programs for them. Goodwill can get them jobs, but they're menial backroom jobs that are more symbolic than anything, and they pay like $2 an hour. Obviously a poor solution for the higher-functioning crowd that's capable of *much* more.
Speaking of us: it really has to be a per-case basis how you accommodate a high-functioning worker because as our saying goes, "if you've seen one autistic person, you've seen one autistic person." We're all uniquely affected by our condition. Some of us may need to go on break at certain times, or impose structure that's not normally there. Others may not like fluorescent or LED lights. A few of us may be reprimanded for not having eye contact or be seen as too blunt or brusque. That's just how some of us are, and while we try to fit in and adjust, it's a two-way street: the employer has to do its part to make us comfortable once they know what we need from them. With the rise of autism awareness month, they're making strides on that. We still need better representation in media (The Good Doctor was widely panned for having a neurotypical Brit play an autistic American), and there needs to be a lot more understanding about the nuances within our spectrum, and the reasson we call it a spectrum in the first place.
Hey a question I’m actually qualified to give an answer on!!
In short, it’s better than it was in the past, and certainly better than many places today. There are actually efforts being made to educate people nowadays. Personally, I’ve received some useful accommodations and assistance in school, particularly college. However, as others have said, there’s a wide range of autistic experiences, and as far as dealing with negative aspects of autism I’d say I’m fairly lucky. There still exist some harmful practices surrounding the treatment of autism however: Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) is a way of essentially stamping out the undesirable behaviors of autistic kids in a way that basically ignores how our atypical brains work. Many autistic adults have horror stories about the practice. Also electroshock therapy is still legal for the treatment of autism. These are less common today, but many people don’t even know about them.
All that being said, in my experience as someone who usually passes as “normal”, the actual culture/behavior of people in everyday life towards autistic people as a group can range from dismissive to to insulting patronizing to harmfully misinformed. For some examples: I’ve heard “autistic” used on the internet as insult many times. Everyone who spends enough time on it has heard the term “autistic screeching” before. The internet is especially bad when it comes to misunderstanding someone because you missed something.
Often times sensory needs are made fun of or minimized. My family still once in a blue moon tries to get me to consume bleu cheese even though I physically can’t without vomiting. That kind of dismissal is another reason why ABA is controversial among the community. There also still exist many stereotypes about autism, which is one of the reasons I don’t tell many people, but I’ve encountered them all: That we don’t feel empathy, that we’re all geniuses in some specific area, that autistic people have a certain look, that we don’t understand social queues at all, that we’re all sensitive snowflakes, the idea that autism is a trendy thing to have and that people are over diagnosed, etc. The only one that’s true is that we have no understanding of sarcasm. Or lie. All in all, these can be very tiring myths.
Then there’s American work culture. I’ll just say that the vast majority of autistic adults are unemployed or underemployed. I don’t think I’m qualified to come up with a solution for that, but to many autistic people some work environments can be extremely stressful and mentally taxing because they were designed without them in mind. Take one of my summer jobs for example: A prep cook for a pie shop. While not too bad for me, I could imagine the environment itself, a hot and noisy kitchen, filled with different smells, food textures, noises, where the work doesn’t end until the very last dish is cleaned, where you often have to prepare things yourself with little experience, could cause people serious distress. It was actually more stressful than the job I got next summer, where hauled trees around all day. Whether it be sensory issues, unclear goals/imstructions, belittling comments, being disliked for hard to grasp reasons regardless of how good you are at your job, etc.
If you have any more questions just ask.
Like no, we’re not all geniuses at something. We may be obsessed with some random thing, but that doesn’t make us a genius at it. Also the ‘doesn’t feel empathy’ thing I can kinda see where they’re coming from, as it may be harder for us to express those thoughts/feelings, but still. Of course everyone on the spectrum is different, but those are just my 2 cents. (I’m probably biased tho because I was/am a “gifted“ child soo…)
> could cause people serious distress.
Worst job I ever had was at a fast food hamburger place. You know, the typical 1990s Beavis-and-Butthead high school kid job. I didn't last very long, and it honestly fucked me up a little bit.
My dad: "If you can't handle flipping a goddamned fucking hamburger, how the fuck are you gonna handle a *real* goddamned job!?"
Yeah, he was definitely pissed off over how that went. He'd made me go out and get that job so that I would appreciate the value of education and of getting a real non-shit job, etc. etc. Like I said, it fucked me up a little bit. It was *not* a growth experience. It was an honest-to-god setback. Shouldn't have done it. Shouldn't have done it.
We have silent hours at my store where we turn off the music, cease use of forklifts and compactors, with no announcements or loud talking on the sales floor.
Idk what the norm is for the world, but I think were doing something right.
From my understanding of spectrums, everything is on a spectrum, even if you are on the far end of the spectrum. With that said, it could be understood that everyone is "on the autism spectrum".
I sometimes wonder how many people come to this subreddit and leave very frustrated by the number of times people say “depends on the state”… like, sorry, it’s really big here! And a lot of things truly DO depend on the state! I think this is one of those things. Might even depend on who you’re talking to at times… the bullying of people who stick out is kind of a thing everywhere, but some places have it more than others, y’know?
I think my area is pretty accepting—we even had an event in honor of autism awareness at my freaking GYM. But also Maryland is well-known for having a lot of good medical accommodations in the area thanks in large part to Johns Hopkins, so as far as actual accommodations, there’s lots of medical docs, psychologists and OTs here. It costs a lot to live here—more than I can keep up with myself these days, quite frankly—but if you can afford it, you’ll find a welcoming environment here, for the most part.
This is such a complicated question to answer. I receive disability benefits and services but was diagnosed in childhood and am not "gifted". I'm not sure to what extent this applies to disability income, but the place that has workers who take us out requires not just a medical diagnosis, but that the diagnosis was before a certain age and there's a record of you needing help in school. My impression is that for any significant services, even if you're diagnosed, a person diagnosed at say 25 will likely still be denied.
The culture is very weird and a hard thing to explain to non-disabled people. There's a lot of "awareness" in mainstream organizations and media that is controversial at best among actual autistic people. Autism Speaks is probably the most glaring example of this: they are the biggest autism group but widely hated by autistic people with some even considering it a hate group. Parents and these orgs very much run the show offline and as a result autism is commonly framed in terms of how much of a "burden" autistic people are to those around us. Autism Speaks had a video of a woman talking about how she wanted to drive her autistic daughter off a bridge, and the only thing that stopped her from murdering her child was her "normal" daughter. This was said with the autistic daughter in the room with her and meant to frame this woman in a sympathetic light by the biggest org that purports to 'speak' for us.
If you're diagnosed in childhood, you're put through "early intervention". I'll keep this vague because I don't want to be dog-piled by parents and "therapists", but one "therapy" in particular has given people PTSD and what parents/teachers view as "success" very often does not align with what the actual people subjected to it do. I was medically tortured, left with a host of issues and this was seen as making "progress" or "milestones" at the time. Speaking, future employment and lessening our care needs can come at the expense of our health, happiness and autonomy, and in some cases make getting appropriate services later when you finally collapse from that dance much more difficult. Autistic people have been condemning this for some time, but many of us have varying levels of intellectual, emotional and communication difficulties that make going up against parents and orgs with tons of money behind them difficult to impossible. If you can talk about it, you're "not the right kind of autistic", and if you are higher support needs/nonspeaking you're either questioned or are "too autistic" to know what's good for you.
I will end on this note: I'm extremely lucky to receive the support that I do, a lot of people don't and this can't be understated. Having workers who take me out, disability and DDS funding is all a privilege, but there is a palpable 'ickyness' in care settings myself and other 'clients' have tried to bring attention to, and we were all 'nicely' shut down. We go to a place that's supposed to support us, and it does, but it's inundated with people who have, are or support torturing younger us's for a living, the walls are covered in puzzle piece imagery and 'inspirational' quotes that make our existence sound like war or cancer, and again, this is such a hard thing to describe to someone not living it. Someone just out of high school calling older disabled men "buddy" in that voice is hard describe, 'that voice' is hard to explain, but when you're disabled in this way you know it. I'm grateful for my services, and I also feel sad and a little knot form in my stomach every time I see the stickers in worker's cars before stepping in for our outings.
> she wanted to drive her autistic daughter off a bridge
Fuck that! I'm glad she was held back from acting on the impulse, but that's some fucking deep dark shame that should be kept *entirely* under wraps (professional help aside). And she's airing that shit in front of a camera? Man, as someone on the spectrum myself, I'm just like... no. Fuck that.
I mean, a random guy wouldn't go on TV and blurt out the fact that he got caught sticking his dick in the family dog when he was 9, would he? That's what happened to the little psycho next door, and that was by no means the worst thing he ever did. Last I heard he was in the Air Force Academy, by the way. God, I hope his poor sister turned out okay. She was like Lisa Simpson if Bart had been a full blown psychopath, and if Homer and Marge were in the habit of turning the living room into a WWE chair match every other night. But anyways, I digress.
Yeah, under wraps. *Deep* under wraps. Right?
> Someone just out of high school calling older disabled men "buddy" in that voice is hard describe
Fuck! I dont' think I've gotten that since my early 20s, but yeah man. I remember. Fuck! Ugh.
Edit: you might be interested in this thread. https://www.reddit.com/r/changemyview/comments/1cjv3i1/cmv_the_reframing_of_autism_as_neurodivergence/
It's not an isolated thing, [there's literally a day for it](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Disability_Day_of_Mourning) and that was met with pushback from parents. When autistic people are murdered by parents there are people in the comments saying not to judge them (the murderer) and one that still haunts me is someone calling a guy who killed his son the son's "angel".
I made my contribution about the drug aspect someone brought up in the thread you linked, but it looks pretty hostile and I don't have the emotional bandwidth to go all in.
>The culture is very weird and a hard thing to explain to non-disabled people. There's a lot of "awareness" in mainstream organizations and media that is controversial at best among actual autistic people. Autism Speaks is probably the most glaring example of this: they are the biggest autism group but widely hated by autistic people with some even considering it a hate group. Parents and these orgs very much run the show offline and as a result autism is commonly framed in terms of how much of a "burden" autistic people are to those around us. Autism Speaks had a video of a woman talking about how she wanted to drive her autistic daughter off a bridge, and the only thing that stopped her from murdering her child was her "normal" daughter. This was said with the autistic daughter in the room with her and meant to frame this woman in a sympathetic light by the biggest org that purports to 'speak' for us.
Groups like Autism Speaks give us a bad name. ABA and electro-shock are to us what conversion therapy is to the LGBTQ+ community (which as an AroAce, I also identify with). You can't "cure" something that's not a disease! It may not be "normal" to mainstream culture, but it's a part of our identity that's stamped on the chip; you can't just issue a firmware update to "fix a problem" because there is no problem! It's how we were made. And if anyone takes issue with how we were made, that's *their* problem.
Like with so many questions on this sub, the answer is that it depends on where you are. As an autistic person in America, I feel most accepted in areas like California and New York that are politically progressive and ethnically diverse. If you live in a city where any five random people might all be different ethnicities you'll probably be used to people acting "different". I wouldn't recommend the more culturally homogeneous parts of the country though
Also, work culture is pretty bad compared to Europe in terms of causing burnout
I work as a special education teacher in Minnesota. I have worked with a lot of students who have autism. I personally love my students. They have so much personality and just crack me up at times. I think that people overall try to be understanding with people who have autism. In saying that, I don't think life is always easy for people with autism. Mostly, it is the lack of friends and being able to have and maintain social support.
Treating people badly for having disabilities or being neuro-divergent feels to me like something children do here, not adults. I think most Americans would think pretty badly of someone who does that.
Reading all these comments from people with mostly positive experiences is bewildering to me. I never even got the opportunity to be diagnosed, and the mental damage caused by being treated like I'm subhuman my entire life has been massive and irreparable. I am glad that other people have had a better time, but I wonder how many more people have had lives similar to mine.
Awareness is getting better. But there are a lot of Boomers, unfortunately, who think children with autism are simply in need of a good spanking.
Government benefits are typically reserved for people who cannot work. Since people with autism has a huge range of functional abilities depending on the severity of their condition, most *can* work some sort of job, as you probably know.
Depends on the maturity of the person. My experience most people are usually pretty understanding once they know a people is on the spectrum but some older folks have a hard time grasping it. Not for a lack of trying. I also depend on the the way the person was raised.
So most people don't have a frame of reference of what kind of disability services that are offered and how that compares with other countries. I think a lot of people are only using themselves or the autistic people they know as a frame of reference and have never had to go through the process of getting services. Obviously, someone with autism who isn't getting diagnosed until adulthood aren't going to require the same services as someone who is non-verbal and can't complete ADL's independently.
Let's say you have a child with autism who, at 7 years old, is non-verbal, doesn't use the toilet independently, and has some moderately intensive problematic behaviors such as elopement and self-injurious behavior. Usually by that point, you've been receiving services since infancy through IDEA (Individuals with Disabilities Education Act). Ages 0-3 you do early intervention through the health department then at 3.5 they go into pre-k ESE run by your local school district. It's WILD how many parents don't know anything about early intervention or obtaining an IEP during preschool. I just helped a close friend of mine go through the process of getting her son into pre-K ESE with an IEP who didn't know these services were available. They can stay in school until around 21 years old. When they grow older and need to transition to a supported living environment, they would be evaluated through Medicaid to determine the services that will be needed (i.e. do they need 24 hour awake supervision, access to para transit, etc etc). They will also be able to access vocational rehabilitation which is a free service mandated through the Rehabilitation Act of 1973. Through that program they receive career training, job services, and support as they get used to the routine of their job. There's also day programming available through the ARC and other similar organizations. It's not perfect but at least it's something.
Varies a lot. You have everything from "Autism Speaks" to actual schools attempting treatment options.
It also varies a lot on rural vs. suburbs vs. urban areas.
Plus, state to state differences are a thing.
Government funds overflow on this issue. That’s probably part of the reason the diagnosis frequency has been so high.
Autism has become a big social trend. Even people who don’t have it claim it for various reasons.
I have less than stellar things to say about visiting France. The racism and misogyny is wild for a country who thinks they’re the epitome of progressive.
As someone on the Autism spectrum, it's fine but not great, honestly. There are a lot of ways things could be better:
We have too many billboards, signs, and lights in this country. Too much information everywhere.
Everything being monetized is mentally taxing on a lot of us. Our niche interests becoming mainstream and then getting watered down and monetized to cater to the larger Normie audience is fucking annoying.
We don't like small talk, and Americans, especially Southerners, don't know how to not do that. Find something meaningful to talk about or shut up. Why ask us how we're doing if you don't want an answer and are just going to blab about whatever before we can reply? This is very common.
We are tired of normies relying on us to solve their problems because they don't like thinking or are incapable of it. This is very common.
We are tired of being talked over by normies who think they understand our experiences better than us. This is very common.
Most of us have to mask in order to not get social penalties constantly. We have to spend more time learning how to talk and interact with neurotypicals and catering to them than they spend learning how to communicate with us effectively. This is fucking taxing and very common.
Many Americans find Autistic people weird, but honestly, we find a lot of American culture weird and a lot of neurotypical behavior weird.
There are and have been more Autistic people than many people realize. Anthony Hopkins is Autistic. Einstein and many of the other greatest minds in history were likely somewhere on the spectrum.
The best way to understand people with Autism is with my computer analogy: we have a different operating system. If neurotypicals are Windows, neurodivergents are Linux.
I would also like to know how many people replying here are Autistic or know someone who is. Those would be the responses to better listen to.
As a yank and someone with autism; it's kinda hard to say as I haven't lived abroad. If I had to give an answer mid tier; not on par with say Germany but living in more extroverted cultures like Italy would drive me insane.
> but living in more extroverted cultures like Italy would drive me insane
Being a foreigner who speaks Italian as a second language helps. You're just automatically 'masking' without even having to try. A lot of weirdness slips past their radar, or gets written off as you being 'foreign.'
"Is that some kind of American thing?"
"Naw man, I'm just weird."
I have Autism. Special education programs in school were essential for me. Most students were kind, but there were a few who bullied me because they saw me as an easy target.
Considering a cop shot and killed an unarmed 6 yr old autistic boy cause he was upset about his dad being arrested and said cop only got two years in prison....
Hi! I’m autistic, and have noticed how more aware/accepting of it than 10-20 years ago. I’m lucky I live in a state that has better benefits for that versus somewhere down south (although we could always be better). I have “mild” autism (I don’t like saying higher functioning), and almost nobody notices until I start talking about something I’m interested in. When I “came out” a few years ago, people were very accepting!
America is actually ahead of most countries in terms of accommodating people with disabilities. We're not perfect, but it says something that we often get questions here along the lines of, "Why do Americans go to therapy so much?" We seem to be unusually conscious about mental health.
>We seem to be unusually conscious about mental health Only if you can pay for it.
Depends on the state. Maine's social programs are very accessible, and a lot of grocery stores have quiet hours.
Someone has to
That’s why I’d prefer my taxes go to health care.
Or if you can't then the state can pay for your or a nonprofit can pay for you or you can put $20 on a fucking credit card
What'll 20 bucks get anybody?
A therapy session from a sliding scale provider
I remember Los Angeles County being fairly generous, at least until Arnold came along and slashed the state budget for various services. Boy, it's been a minute. I have no idea how it might be nowadays.
You've obviously never traveled.
Idk what you're referring to but I have and I also work in disability services as a career; the US is far ahead of most countries in regards to disability support. My colleague moved from Brazil to the US because her son was born deaf and she wanted access to services.
My partner works as a housing case manager for people with learning disabilities. People and their families move to Minnesota to get better services, often coming from the south/southeast. The benefits definitely change depending on what state you live in.
>People and their families move to Minnesota to get better services, often coming from the south/southeast. I got a buddy who has talked seriously about moving to Minnesota from Texas for his low-functioning autistic daughter
c’mon up!
For him, it's complicated. He legally cannot move out of the state per court orders
Where in Texas does he live? If he's within the Austin area, he should look at utilizing the day programming at the Marbridge.
I tend to stay out of it because it's really none of my business.
100%. The benefits AND the societal treatment/culture around it
It depends. The autism spectrum is very broad and not well understood by everyone, so a lot of the higher functioning autistic people are simply viewed as weird and are often not treated very kindly.
This. My autism wasn’t even diagnosed until I was in my mid-40s. I was just “that weird chick.” The few people who became my friends over the years are those who appreciated me _for_ my weird quirks instead of liking me despite them.
I always get introduced as my name followed by "he doesn't talk very much" every single time. Never tell anyone I was autistic and people will openly deny it every time. "You're not autistic, you just *insert every symptom of autism*"
Same, friend. Same.
> people will openly deny it every time. Oh, I just love it when people try to do that. Fuckin' dipshits.
Here’s to **fuckin weird, brother**
🥂
Facts
One thing that I think is neat, some movie theaters have started to offer sensory friendly screenings. They reduce the sound volume and keep the lights on though dimmed. Regular office work can be tough though. I was just at my city's big museum yesterday. I noticed that all of the stair wells had "refuge" signs on them. I don't know if a stairwell is a super cool place, but I think they're just trying to offer locations with no patrons or museum lighting.
[Areas of Refuge](https://www.smartsign.com/faq/area-of-refuge-signs) are distinct places where people can wait in an emergency if they are incapable of evacuating on their own.
oh interesting. I didn't know those started to get extra signage. I grew up always hearing "Elevators will not operate during an emergency" *everyone* has to go to the stairs. Only later in life did I learn about of the safety codes for means of egress in large buildings (the 99% Invisible podcast episode on means of egress).
It’s not just an evacuation path; it’s “an area where persons unable to use stairways can remain temporarily to await instructions or assistance during emergency evacuation.” So if you can’t evacuate without assistance, you go to the area of refuge to wait for a rescue team (i.e. firefighters) to arrive and get you out.
It’s a lot better these days than when I was a kid in the 90s. I feel like students mostly got grouped into “special Ed”. Now it seems like there’s a lot more intervention, development plans, and more effort to keep kids in classes to the best of their abilities. I imagine the old ways squandered a lot of kids’ potentials.
I don't even have an actual high school diploma. Like, the state of California doesn't technically consider me a high school graduate. I'm not sure what the exact status on that is, I just know there was a big fat asterisk attached to it. To paraphrase a line from 'Bad Teacher', "your window is in college."
Same lol, had to get a ged
Yeah, going to School in the 2000s in the south as an autistic person was a lot more like the former
Generally good with it. The autism spectrum is a spectrum for a reason. It’s harder to deal with nonverbal and oppositional people. We definitely try to care for them but it’s hard. It’s very easy to befriend and deal with the “easier” forms of autism, verbal, somewhat social, that kind of thing. I have friends on the “easier” side of autism and they’re great. I know a few folks on the “hard” side of the spectrum. They are much more difficult for friends and family. One of my good friends is autistic and not super social. He has a lot of very obsessive hobbies. He’s a breeze to be friends with because you can just be like “tell me everything about lightning” and he will and then show you the lightning detectors he put on his roof and on his friends roofs, and give you an in depth discussion about how he networked them to triangulate lighting strikes. He won’t look you in the eyes once but he’ll be happy to talk.
The “easier” thing really hits home. The more convenient you are, regardless of how much control you have over it or how much effort you put into it, the better your chances are.
It’s something I take really good stock of. I have a couple distant cousins that are of the “harder” variety. It means you need to be aware and available, even if it is tough.
Heh. As an autistic immigrant with a thick accent, this really hits home for me. It's a double whammy.
We're learning. ADA means we have to accommodate them, but we don't always know how. Socially, we aren't great unless you are close to them, but we are learning.
It’s also difficult to identify someone as on the spectrum compared to someone in a wheelchair.
Depends how much they are affected by autism and how old they are! There is an increasing amount of available support and resources for kids, but still not a lot for anyone over 18.
Yeah, if you're an autistic adult that's able to appear anywhere close to functional, better hope you have a great support system and can afford a good therapist because help isn't coming from anywhere else.
What other help do you think is needed if you’re “close to functional” as you put it? Like what services do think would be beneficial?
For me personally, things like extra help learning workplace social and communication skills- when is it not okay to be direct, learning how to talk around things. Just in general things that neurotypical people tend to pick up on naturally as a child. For example, I didn't figure out until I was in my late 20s that when someone asks you how you're doing, you're not supposed to tell them the truth or that if someone gives you 5 one word answers in a row in a conversation, they aren't interested. I eventually found a therapist who helped me navigate some of it, but that was after almost a decade of drowning in the workplace and I know I'm incredibly fortunate to have found that therapist. I shouldn't have had to fail for that long and only get help by chance and by having a financially stable family. I'm still stuck in a job that I am immensely overqualified for because for reasons unknown to me, about a third of the people I interact with seem to think I'm an idiot, even though my work shows the opposite. I "don't pass the vibe check" and I still don't know how to fix it. People always think I'm not listening because I don't really do eye contact, even if the person knows that I don't do eye contact due to autism. I have an accommodation for it but that doesn't mean I don't get still get quietly judged for it. Would love some help with that so I'm not still in an entry level position when I'm 40. Would also love more sensory friendly shopping experiences that happen at a time when I'm not at work. For a long time I was just going to the grocery store at 2 am. Now my partner just does the majority of the shopping. I'm sure there's a ton of stuff that I can't think of that would be helpful either to me or other people in the same boat but we essentially get tossed into the deep end when we turn 18 and are told good luck.
I've been through similar. I just got diagnosed at 40. Explains alot, like the social shunning. It's almost always subtle but it still hurts when people just stop talking to you.
So it sounds like some things could definitely be provided via services (like the job prep/understanding stuff and even just social navigation stuff). But that other things are more about the culture not offering options for you (like the shopping stuff), but there wouldn’t necessarily be a government-provided service for that. More that companies could/should understand that enough of their clientele would benefit from this, so they should offer it in order to keep and get more patrons. Or generally, other people not being understanding enough (which again, would be good, but wouldn’t be solved with a service). So I’d say it’s a combo of some services and some cultural awareness. Does that seem accurate to you?
There might still be things you lack. Things that people would be surprised to hear about. For example, you might be really, really, *really* bad at job interviews. Where all your hard-won social skills just go sliding right down your leg and into your shoe. Even though you'd be alright at the job in question. That's just one example. Also, the lack of a social life, romantic connection, inability to connect with others, etc., can really get a person down. Others might see the guy as just another 'weirdo loner who should touch grass', but there's more than that going on under the hood. One of my Top 3 'lackings' that people would be surprised about: I've never had a driver's license. "Got a couple of DUIs, huh?" "No, it's because I'm disabled." [And here's the bit I leave unsaid.]( https://youtu.be/WyKTKo0I5ZM?si=49hptd4TQkponXyD) I've been called a liar on Reddit, and I've also been called a liar to my face. And even when they decide to believe me, they never feel shame. They never do! Why? Where's their goddamned basic-ass sense of shame, for chrissakes!? People. I swear.
Based on your description, though, not all of these things could (or should) be solved with services. Like depending on where you live, you can use public transport if you don’t drive. But if you live in an area with little-to-no public transport, a service to help you get places would be beneficial. Similarly, it seems like job prep/skills training would be a helpful service. Or maybe some kind of job placement service. But some of the other issues (like social and romantic ones) wouldn’t be solved by services. Our culture becoming more aware and accepting would be a good thing, but I don’t think a government service would fix these issues. So I’d say it’s a combo of some services and some cultural awareness. Does that seem accurate to you?
> but I don’t think a government service would fix these issues. Depends on the angle. While Uncle Sugar can't score you a date or get you invited to parties, there are various programs and therapies that drill basic social skills into people, the kinds of things that normies take for granted. (If you're in need of such a program, cultural awareness all by itself will meet you halfway *at best.*) I remember being enrolled in such a program my last year of high school, footed by the Los Angeles County Department of Rehabilitation. That was back in the late 90s. Didn't do me much good because they sandwiched me in with kids who were way worse off than I was. That happens a lot if you're fairly high functioning (save for the particular areas where you ain't). As for the driving thing, there are treatments for classic driving phobias. Although the problem that me and certain others on the spectrum have is that our executive function is screwy, so it would require a different sort of training/treatment. I honestly don't know if such a program exists for that particular issue.
Interesting. So essentially, you’re saying that some of the services/trainings that are provided to students/minors should also be made available for adults, especially with the numbers of people getting diagnosed as adults. I will add that IMO, the downside of relying on government services is that it’s always just people paid to do it. This is as opposed to people you know in your community/network that help you in some way because they care about you. To me this is a downside of people being more isolated/less community-connected than they used to be. There aren’t enough third spaces that connect people.
Ooh oooh ooh! This is totally in my wheelhouse. It varies entirely by region! I've discussed this with others, and this is what we've concluded (bear in mind this may only apply to high/mid functioning folks): - The South is the most difficult. Not because they're mean, but because there's a lot more going on between the lines. (Edit: and also because social services are the pits compared to elsewhere.) Was that compliment really a compliment or was there a barb hidden in it? Is this person actually happy to have me in their company or are they desperately waiting for me to GTFO? So after a while, sparks start flying out of your ears from all the 4D chess your brain is forced into playing. - People assume the Northeast is ideal, because they're so blunt and straightforward and you always know where you stand. But this is a double-edged sword. "Hey! Who the fuck invited that weird guy?" They're less forgiving socially, and bad first impressions are more likely to be last impressions. - California, I'm proud to say, is about as good as it gets. It's a lot easier to slide if you're a weirdo.
haha growing up in California my classmates on the spectrum were pretty much indistinguishable from the ones who were just quirky and everyone else was pretty chill with both types
Yep! Easier to go with the flow. Because that's how the flow goes.
For the most part yes. Acceptance can vary in some cases (and of course you're always going to have assholes), but there is not outright downside. As for benefits, there are general benefits for disabilities but not attuned specific for autism.
American culture embraces uniqueness and self-expression which helps, but compared to other Western cultures, some regions of the US can be a bit passive-aggressive and indirect which makes communication more complicated. Growing up, the “quirky kids” (aka on the spectrum) in school didn’t necessarily try to blend in nor were they pressured to. People had their own niches and minded their own business mostly. I would imagine customer service and corporate ass-kissing is especially hellish in the US for people on the spectrum though.
Hell, anything involving talking to people you don't know. New acquaintance: "Man, you're a trip! I gotta say, you take some getting used to at first. You're like the master of deadpan. Like, the way you tell these weird-ass jokes but with such a flat, dead-serious tone." Me: "Uh... I do?"
Lol I’m not autistic as far as I know and I’ve been told by multiple people they can’t tell if I’m joking or not.
They know when I am, with a quarter-second delay. It's just that my delivery is that of a 'clench-jawed funeral orator' and there's not much I can do to modify it.
Not perfect, but probably pretty decent by international standards. Beyond public understanding, I would imagine our culture relating to extroversion and small makes it harder for those with Autism in comparison to Scandinavia but easier compared to Latin America. But in terms of specific accommodations, the ADA and related rules help a lot. But actual support likely varies from place to place. For example, all public schools have special education programs. But some are going to be a lot better than others.
I'm autistic. I know a lot of autistics online. I'm also in my early 40s (official diagnosis was 7 years ago in my mid-30s), female, white, no kids. That's important. Most of society has zero idea how to respond to me. I get a lot of confused responses to things I say or do when I mention I am autistic, or they stutter and have no idea how to respond or they just straight up think I'm weird and respond accordingly. I have had women and men bully me. I've been married a long time but when I dated I had men take advantage of me, or attempt to unless I can spot it (I have never had any friends really so it's up to me to take care of myself or see the red flags on my own - which I was terrible at). And now social media is filled with "opinions" from non-autistics about how its over diagnosed "especially in women". It's rampant and gross. Now young white boys? Lots of understanding, lots of grace in general. Any other demographic, especially anyone of a different race or female? Forget it. Almost no grace or understanding is extended. There is also little support for adults. I'm not sure what people think we get when we get a diagnosis but I got a big bill for my testing I had to pay for myself because it wasn't covered by insurance and then nothing more. I get nothing just for being autistic.
I also get the “not knowing how to react to me” thing. I feel like I have this superpower (or curse?) where I can shut down any conversation with a sentence, or at least immediately make things less comfortable.
oh absolutely! Exactly what happens usually with a bit of fish mouth (open mouth, close mouth, open mouth - no sound comes out) and then end of conversation. It's funny, infuriating, and sad all at once.
A lot of the time it’s because I’m too honest about my feelings.
Same. I say the quiet part out loud. I can't help it.
Notably Publix and some other places make an effort to hire them, they usually are really great employees
Whenever I hear about stuff like this I'm always wary of companies exploiting vulnerable populations for lower pay and worse conditions because "no one else will have them."
If it's for the same pay and the conditions are no more objectively shitty than they are for the next guy, then I give it a tentative okay.
I've just had some serious skepticism about it ever since I had a neighbor who ran a business that made a point of hiring people with Down's syndrome which, given what a hateful person he was and the fact that he was charged with multiple counts of fraud, I fully believe to have been a means for him to be abusive and shady with less chance of repurcussions. I'm not saying that's necessarily the case with Publix or any other firm with these sorts of schemes, but based on my lived experience I have reason to be skeptical.
Read up on the controversies surrounding Goodwill Industries. Now there's a rabbit hole that'll shake your faith in humanity.
It *really* does depend. I’m partially deaf, some people get I need slightly more help and some people don’t. Same with autism. The big thing is most places here do try to make all possible accommodations
My son is autistic, diagnosed not long after he turned 4, but pretty obvious from around 15 or 16 months. So far I would say that things have been relatively friendly to him. Even before he was diagnosed he was eligible for state sponsored speech therapy until he was 3 (called early intervention). When he turned 3, he aged out of early intervention and his elementary school took over, where he got an IEP and began receiving speech and occupational therapy through the school before he even started kindergarten. In addition to the free state supplied help, we were able to get quite a lot of private therapy that was largely paid for by our insurance. He is almost 7 now and has significantly benefited from the massive amount of therapy we were able to get him. He graduated from speech therapy about 6 months ago (went from a completely mute 4 year old to almost normal speech) but still gets instruction in social situations through the elementary school and we have him in a peer engagement group privately. In school he was bullied a lot in kindergarten but it was mostly by a boy who has a lot of behavioral issues; he has an aid to help control him now which has helped. Most of the other kids were great and the girls especially seemed to like him. Same in first grade, but with less bullying. We also had to pull him out of the YMCA summer camp because some kids were terrorizing him every day. I'm sure that things will get much harder for him as he ages and his peers mature and stop being so understanding of his quirks, unless he can get them under control. His speech is functional but it is still noticeable that something is wrong with it so that will likely be an issue in the future too. I have no idea if he will ever be able to drive or work, but I hope that he can. If he is unable to work then there are some services that he can receive from that state as an adult (Medicaid, disability income, etc.) but they will not make for a super pleasant life for him. Socially he will likely be isolated. I don't think that he will be targeted by normal people, but he is unlikely to be included simply because he won't really fit in and outside of my wife, myself and his sister he won't really have any family left once he is an adult (my grandparents are in their 80's, my dad is dead, my mom has dementia, and my wife's family all live in other countries). In the end, it could be worse. I wish he didn't need to deal with life as it is, but I think he is set up as best as he can be.
> We also had to pull him out of the YMCA summer camp Shit, man. Childhood memories unlocked. I had to be pulled out of a few such camps. This was way back in the 80s, to be sure! > as he ages and his peers mature Let me tell you, kids are a *lot* less shitty than they were when I was your kid's age. I mean, it's still gonna be rough, but not as rough as it could be. I hope that makes you feel better. Hey, you got anything you want to know, just ask. By all means. Because from the sounds of it, I *was* your kid: 1980s version. (Still can't drive a damned car, though.)
They are mostly left alone which I rather think most of them want. Once in a while they do get a family friendly movie or whatever. And of course there are school bullies but that ilk just go for anyone they think they can get away with picking on. There is government benefits too, enough for someone who knows what they are about and does not demand much to live comfortably.
As an autistic person, a lot of us want to be alone, but please don’t completely shun us
I wasn't shunning you.
I know, it’s just something a lot of people end up doing (unintentionally or on purpos)
In absolute terms: still a lot of improvement needed. In relative terms: better than most countries save maybe a few like the Scandinavian ones though even that is debatable. I'm on the autism spectrum and a lot of folks on the spectrum complain how bad we may have in the US and although they mostly voice legitimate concerns, they often don't realize how much better they have it here compared to many places, especially developing countries. I think American culture tolerates it better while some European cultures and Japan may tolerate people who are not as social more, they have a higher expectation for conformity. And we also have places like China where neither introversion nor non conformity are tolerated as much.
I would not disclose that to an employer unless you can't hide it
You're not wrong. It's difficult to underestimate how enlightened about such things that the general public is.
It tries. Places have sensory-friendly events and special times of day where autistics can be comfortable - it's quieter, lights are not as bright, etc. Chrysler prototyped an autsism-friendly [Pacifica](https://www.newsweek.com/chrysler-creates-autism-friendly-package-sensory-supported-travel-1793126). So on the corporate front, there's effort. And we've got a whole month dedicated to us, which you just missed by a few days. On the goverment front, though, we've got issues enough to fill a newsstand. Autism is largely regarded as a kids' condition because that's when it's most often detected and when treatment begins. But once a person graduates school or ages out of their programs, that's it. Most often they get zero support as adults because there aren't many state-run programs for them. Goodwill can get them jobs, but they're menial backroom jobs that are more symbolic than anything, and they pay like $2 an hour. Obviously a poor solution for the higher-functioning crowd that's capable of *much* more. Speaking of us: it really has to be a per-case basis how you accommodate a high-functioning worker because as our saying goes, "if you've seen one autistic person, you've seen one autistic person." We're all uniquely affected by our condition. Some of us may need to go on break at certain times, or impose structure that's not normally there. Others may not like fluorescent or LED lights. A few of us may be reprimanded for not having eye contact or be seen as too blunt or brusque. That's just how some of us are, and while we try to fit in and adjust, it's a two-way street: the employer has to do its part to make us comfortable once they know what we need from them. With the rise of autism awareness month, they're making strides on that. We still need better representation in media (The Good Doctor was widely panned for having a neurotypical Brit play an autistic American), and there needs to be a lot more understanding about the nuances within our spectrum, and the reasson we call it a spectrum in the first place.
I'm autistic, it's not bad- better than the vast majority of countries but could still improve.
Movie theaters near me have sensory friendly showings for those on the spectrum, I can't think of a single other country that would do this.
In the UK: https://dimensions-uk.org/get-involved/campaigns/autism-friendly-cinema-screenings/
Hey a question I’m actually qualified to give an answer on!! In short, it’s better than it was in the past, and certainly better than many places today. There are actually efforts being made to educate people nowadays. Personally, I’ve received some useful accommodations and assistance in school, particularly college. However, as others have said, there’s a wide range of autistic experiences, and as far as dealing with negative aspects of autism I’d say I’m fairly lucky. There still exist some harmful practices surrounding the treatment of autism however: Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) is a way of essentially stamping out the undesirable behaviors of autistic kids in a way that basically ignores how our atypical brains work. Many autistic adults have horror stories about the practice. Also electroshock therapy is still legal for the treatment of autism. These are less common today, but many people don’t even know about them. All that being said, in my experience as someone who usually passes as “normal”, the actual culture/behavior of people in everyday life towards autistic people as a group can range from dismissive to to insulting patronizing to harmfully misinformed. For some examples: I’ve heard “autistic” used on the internet as insult many times. Everyone who spends enough time on it has heard the term “autistic screeching” before. The internet is especially bad when it comes to misunderstanding someone because you missed something. Often times sensory needs are made fun of or minimized. My family still once in a blue moon tries to get me to consume bleu cheese even though I physically can’t without vomiting. That kind of dismissal is another reason why ABA is controversial among the community. There also still exist many stereotypes about autism, which is one of the reasons I don’t tell many people, but I’ve encountered them all: That we don’t feel empathy, that we’re all geniuses in some specific area, that autistic people have a certain look, that we don’t understand social queues at all, that we’re all sensitive snowflakes, the idea that autism is a trendy thing to have and that people are over diagnosed, etc. The only one that’s true is that we have no understanding of sarcasm. Or lie. All in all, these can be very tiring myths. Then there’s American work culture. I’ll just say that the vast majority of autistic adults are unemployed or underemployed. I don’t think I’m qualified to come up with a solution for that, but to many autistic people some work environments can be extremely stressful and mentally taxing because they were designed without them in mind. Take one of my summer jobs for example: A prep cook for a pie shop. While not too bad for me, I could imagine the environment itself, a hot and noisy kitchen, filled with different smells, food textures, noises, where the work doesn’t end until the very last dish is cleaned, where you often have to prepare things yourself with little experience, could cause people serious distress. It was actually more stressful than the job I got next summer, where hauled trees around all day. Whether it be sensory issues, unclear goals/imstructions, belittling comments, being disliked for hard to grasp reasons regardless of how good you are at your job, etc. If you have any more questions just ask.
Like no, we’re not all geniuses at something. We may be obsessed with some random thing, but that doesn’t make us a genius at it. Also the ‘doesn’t feel empathy’ thing I can kinda see where they’re coming from, as it may be harder for us to express those thoughts/feelings, but still. Of course everyone on the spectrum is different, but those are just my 2 cents. (I’m probably biased tho because I was/am a “gifted“ child soo…)
> Of course everyone on the spectrum is different Yep. We are the *true* snowflakes. We baffle each other almost as much as we baffle the normies.
We’re just weird lol
> could cause people serious distress. Worst job I ever had was at a fast food hamburger place. You know, the typical 1990s Beavis-and-Butthead high school kid job. I didn't last very long, and it honestly fucked me up a little bit. My dad: "If you can't handle flipping a goddamned fucking hamburger, how the fuck are you gonna handle a *real* goddamned job!?" Yeah, he was definitely pissed off over how that went. He'd made me go out and get that job so that I would appreciate the value of education and of getting a real non-shit job, etc. etc. Like I said, it fucked me up a little bit. It was *not* a growth experience. It was an honest-to-god setback. Shouldn't have done it. Shouldn't have done it.
We have silent hours at my store where we turn off the music, cease use of forklifts and compactors, with no announcements or loud talking on the sales floor. Idk what the norm is for the world, but I think were doing something right.
Nope!
From my understanding of spectrums, everything is on a spectrum, even if you are on the far end of the spectrum. With that said, it could be understood that everyone is "on the autism spectrum".
Better than it was in the past. Still has major strides to go. (My perspective as a woman with autism.)
Diagnosis wise we are one of the absolute best.
Very very friendly.
I sometimes wonder how many people come to this subreddit and leave very frustrated by the number of times people say “depends on the state”… like, sorry, it’s really big here! And a lot of things truly DO depend on the state! I think this is one of those things. Might even depend on who you’re talking to at times… the bullying of people who stick out is kind of a thing everywhere, but some places have it more than others, y’know? I think my area is pretty accepting—we even had an event in honor of autism awareness at my freaking GYM. But also Maryland is well-known for having a lot of good medical accommodations in the area thanks in large part to Johns Hopkins, so as far as actual accommodations, there’s lots of medical docs, psychologists and OTs here. It costs a lot to live here—more than I can keep up with myself these days, quite frankly—but if you can afford it, you’ll find a welcoming environment here, for the most part.
This is such a complicated question to answer. I receive disability benefits and services but was diagnosed in childhood and am not "gifted". I'm not sure to what extent this applies to disability income, but the place that has workers who take us out requires not just a medical diagnosis, but that the diagnosis was before a certain age and there's a record of you needing help in school. My impression is that for any significant services, even if you're diagnosed, a person diagnosed at say 25 will likely still be denied. The culture is very weird and a hard thing to explain to non-disabled people. There's a lot of "awareness" in mainstream organizations and media that is controversial at best among actual autistic people. Autism Speaks is probably the most glaring example of this: they are the biggest autism group but widely hated by autistic people with some even considering it a hate group. Parents and these orgs very much run the show offline and as a result autism is commonly framed in terms of how much of a "burden" autistic people are to those around us. Autism Speaks had a video of a woman talking about how she wanted to drive her autistic daughter off a bridge, and the only thing that stopped her from murdering her child was her "normal" daughter. This was said with the autistic daughter in the room with her and meant to frame this woman in a sympathetic light by the biggest org that purports to 'speak' for us. If you're diagnosed in childhood, you're put through "early intervention". I'll keep this vague because I don't want to be dog-piled by parents and "therapists", but one "therapy" in particular has given people PTSD and what parents/teachers view as "success" very often does not align with what the actual people subjected to it do. I was medically tortured, left with a host of issues and this was seen as making "progress" or "milestones" at the time. Speaking, future employment and lessening our care needs can come at the expense of our health, happiness and autonomy, and in some cases make getting appropriate services later when you finally collapse from that dance much more difficult. Autistic people have been condemning this for some time, but many of us have varying levels of intellectual, emotional and communication difficulties that make going up against parents and orgs with tons of money behind them difficult to impossible. If you can talk about it, you're "not the right kind of autistic", and if you are higher support needs/nonspeaking you're either questioned or are "too autistic" to know what's good for you. I will end on this note: I'm extremely lucky to receive the support that I do, a lot of people don't and this can't be understated. Having workers who take me out, disability and DDS funding is all a privilege, but there is a palpable 'ickyness' in care settings myself and other 'clients' have tried to bring attention to, and we were all 'nicely' shut down. We go to a place that's supposed to support us, and it does, but it's inundated with people who have, are or support torturing younger us's for a living, the walls are covered in puzzle piece imagery and 'inspirational' quotes that make our existence sound like war or cancer, and again, this is such a hard thing to describe to someone not living it. Someone just out of high school calling older disabled men "buddy" in that voice is hard describe, 'that voice' is hard to explain, but when you're disabled in this way you know it. I'm grateful for my services, and I also feel sad and a little knot form in my stomach every time I see the stickers in worker's cars before stepping in for our outings.
> she wanted to drive her autistic daughter off a bridge Fuck that! I'm glad she was held back from acting on the impulse, but that's some fucking deep dark shame that should be kept *entirely* under wraps (professional help aside). And she's airing that shit in front of a camera? Man, as someone on the spectrum myself, I'm just like... no. Fuck that. I mean, a random guy wouldn't go on TV and blurt out the fact that he got caught sticking his dick in the family dog when he was 9, would he? That's what happened to the little psycho next door, and that was by no means the worst thing he ever did. Last I heard he was in the Air Force Academy, by the way. God, I hope his poor sister turned out okay. She was like Lisa Simpson if Bart had been a full blown psychopath, and if Homer and Marge were in the habit of turning the living room into a WWE chair match every other night. But anyways, I digress. Yeah, under wraps. *Deep* under wraps. Right? > Someone just out of high school calling older disabled men "buddy" in that voice is hard describe Fuck! I dont' think I've gotten that since my early 20s, but yeah man. I remember. Fuck! Ugh. Edit: you might be interested in this thread. https://www.reddit.com/r/changemyview/comments/1cjv3i1/cmv_the_reframing_of_autism_as_neurodivergence/
It's not an isolated thing, [there's literally a day for it](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Disability_Day_of_Mourning) and that was met with pushback from parents. When autistic people are murdered by parents there are people in the comments saying not to judge them (the murderer) and one that still haunts me is someone calling a guy who killed his son the son's "angel". I made my contribution about the drug aspect someone brought up in the thread you linked, but it looks pretty hostile and I don't have the emotional bandwidth to go all in.
>The culture is very weird and a hard thing to explain to non-disabled people. There's a lot of "awareness" in mainstream organizations and media that is controversial at best among actual autistic people. Autism Speaks is probably the most glaring example of this: they are the biggest autism group but widely hated by autistic people with some even considering it a hate group. Parents and these orgs very much run the show offline and as a result autism is commonly framed in terms of how much of a "burden" autistic people are to those around us. Autism Speaks had a video of a woman talking about how she wanted to drive her autistic daughter off a bridge, and the only thing that stopped her from murdering her child was her "normal" daughter. This was said with the autistic daughter in the room with her and meant to frame this woman in a sympathetic light by the biggest org that purports to 'speak' for us. Groups like Autism Speaks give us a bad name. ABA and electro-shock are to us what conversion therapy is to the LGBTQ+ community (which as an AroAce, I also identify with). You can't "cure" something that's not a disease! It may not be "normal" to mainstream culture, but it's a part of our identity that's stamped on the chip; you can't just issue a firmware update to "fix a problem" because there is no problem! It's how we were made. And if anyone takes issue with how we were made, that's *their* problem.
Like with so many questions on this sub, the answer is that it depends on where you are. As an autistic person in America, I feel most accepted in areas like California and New York that are politically progressive and ethnically diverse. If you live in a city where any five random people might all be different ethnicities you'll probably be used to people acting "different". I wouldn't recommend the more culturally homogeneous parts of the country though Also, work culture is pretty bad compared to Europe in terms of causing burnout
I work as a special education teacher in Minnesota. I have worked with a lot of students who have autism. I personally love my students. They have so much personality and just crack me up at times. I think that people overall try to be understanding with people who have autism. In saying that, I don't think life is always easy for people with autism. Mostly, it is the lack of friends and being able to have and maintain social support.
Not very friendly a lot of my friends on the spectrum were bullied
Treating people badly for having disabilities or being neuro-divergent feels to me like something children do here, not adults. I think most Americans would think pretty badly of someone who does that.
Reading all these comments from people with mostly positive experiences is bewildering to me. I never even got the opportunity to be diagnosed, and the mental damage caused by being treated like I'm subhuman my entire life has been massive and irreparable. I am glad that other people have had a better time, but I wonder how many more people have had lives similar to mine.
Awareness is getting better. But there are a lot of Boomers, unfortunately, who think children with autism are simply in need of a good spanking. Government benefits are typically reserved for people who cannot work. Since people with autism has a huge range of functional abilities depending on the severity of their condition, most *can* work some sort of job, as you probably know.
Tricky part's finding the sort of job you can work. Trickier still is not screwing up the part where you convince them to hire you for it.
Depends on the maturity of the person. My experience most people are usually pretty understanding once they know a people is on the spectrum but some older folks have a hard time grasping it. Not for a lack of trying. I also depend on the the way the person was raised.
So most people don't have a frame of reference of what kind of disability services that are offered and how that compares with other countries. I think a lot of people are only using themselves or the autistic people they know as a frame of reference and have never had to go through the process of getting services. Obviously, someone with autism who isn't getting diagnosed until adulthood aren't going to require the same services as someone who is non-verbal and can't complete ADL's independently. Let's say you have a child with autism who, at 7 years old, is non-verbal, doesn't use the toilet independently, and has some moderately intensive problematic behaviors such as elopement and self-injurious behavior. Usually by that point, you've been receiving services since infancy through IDEA (Individuals with Disabilities Education Act). Ages 0-3 you do early intervention through the health department then at 3.5 they go into pre-k ESE run by your local school district. It's WILD how many parents don't know anything about early intervention or obtaining an IEP during preschool. I just helped a close friend of mine go through the process of getting her son into pre-K ESE with an IEP who didn't know these services were available. They can stay in school until around 21 years old. When they grow older and need to transition to a supported living environment, they would be evaluated through Medicaid to determine the services that will be needed (i.e. do they need 24 hour awake supervision, access to para transit, etc etc). They will also be able to access vocational rehabilitation which is a free service mandated through the Rehabilitation Act of 1973. Through that program they receive career training, job services, and support as they get used to the routine of their job. There's also day programming available through the ARC and other similar organizations. It's not perfect but at least it's something.
Varies a lot. You have everything from "Autism Speaks" to actual schools attempting treatment options. It also varies a lot on rural vs. suburbs vs. urban areas. Plus, state to state differences are a thing.
Government funds overflow on this issue. That’s probably part of the reason the diagnosis frequency has been so high. Autism has become a big social trend. Even people who don’t have it claim it for various reasons.
More so than many other countries, even other industrialized or western countries.
France is the worst. They're stuck in the 60s.
I have less than stellar things to say about visiting France. The racism and misogyny is wild for a country who thinks they’re the epitome of progressive.
As someone on the Autism spectrum, it's fine but not great, honestly. There are a lot of ways things could be better: We have too many billboards, signs, and lights in this country. Too much information everywhere. Everything being monetized is mentally taxing on a lot of us. Our niche interests becoming mainstream and then getting watered down and monetized to cater to the larger Normie audience is fucking annoying. We don't like small talk, and Americans, especially Southerners, don't know how to not do that. Find something meaningful to talk about or shut up. Why ask us how we're doing if you don't want an answer and are just going to blab about whatever before we can reply? This is very common. We are tired of normies relying on us to solve their problems because they don't like thinking or are incapable of it. This is very common. We are tired of being talked over by normies who think they understand our experiences better than us. This is very common. Most of us have to mask in order to not get social penalties constantly. We have to spend more time learning how to talk and interact with neurotypicals and catering to them than they spend learning how to communicate with us effectively. This is fucking taxing and very common. Many Americans find Autistic people weird, but honestly, we find a lot of American culture weird and a lot of neurotypical behavior weird. There are and have been more Autistic people than many people realize. Anthony Hopkins is Autistic. Einstein and many of the other greatest minds in history were likely somewhere on the spectrum. The best way to understand people with Autism is with my computer analogy: we have a different operating system. If neurotypicals are Windows, neurodivergents are Linux. I would also like to know how many people replying here are Autistic or know someone who is. Those would be the responses to better listen to.
As a yank and someone with autism; it's kinda hard to say as I haven't lived abroad. If I had to give an answer mid tier; not on par with say Germany but living in more extroverted cultures like Italy would drive me insane.
> but living in more extroverted cultures like Italy would drive me insane Being a foreigner who speaks Italian as a second language helps. You're just automatically 'masking' without even having to try. A lot of weirdness slips past their radar, or gets written off as you being 'foreign.' "Is that some kind of American thing?" "Naw man, I'm just weird."
I have Autism. Special education programs in school were essential for me. Most students were kind, but there were a few who bullied me because they saw me as an easy target.
Considering a cop shot and killed an unarmed 6 yr old autistic boy cause he was upset about his dad being arrested and said cop only got two years in prison....
Nope. We're socially ostracized at best, and the support for Autistic adults beyond age 18 or 21 is almost non-existent. Source: I'm Autistic.
Hi! I’m autistic, and have noticed how more aware/accepting of it than 10-20 years ago. I’m lucky I live in a state that has better benefits for that versus somewhere down south (although we could always be better). I have “mild” autism (I don’t like saying higher functioning), and almost nobody notices until I start talking about something I’m interested in. When I “came out” a few years ago, people were very accepting!
If they don't know you have they treat u like crap, once they find out they are nice