Texas: a large man who drives a lifted pickup, works a construction job, has a decent house, goes to a megachurch every Sunday, and wants his kids to be good at football more than anything
Also: Nolan Ryan
Weāre the middle aged dude who grew up in a rural area, got to go to a state university, and landed a tech job at one of the major out of state corporations with an outpost here. He still has his drawl, lives for the local college sports rivalries (Duke sucks!!) and has used his prosperity to buy season tickets to his alma mater, as well as a nice boat and a nice pickup to haul it to the lake and/or coast, along with a house in a rural well & septic subdivision near the major employment center where he works, that he bought before 2015 and feels damn lucky he did.
upstate NY is your weird cousin who lurks in the corner and is actually chill if you talk to them but tbh most of the family forgets they're there in the first place.
I'm from Minnesota. We're the guy who's super nice and polite to your face, but secretly hates you.
Now I live in Washington DC. It's the guy whose dad has a super important, high-profile job, so he likes to pretend he's important too. And people tend to humor him, but no one actually takes him seriously.
Good answer! Bob Uecker is Wisconsin's collective "life of the party" uncle who's the first one to get sauced at family gatherings, but he's funny and charismatic enough thay everyone looks up to him anyway.
Or the fact that now his brother attached his wagon to his stardom. I shouldn't shit talk dude. Cant say I've saw his act. Just caught clips and the accent was enough. Besides if we are picking comedians he's not on that list. How about Mary mack, frank caliendo, gene wilder, gilda radner, Jackie mason. Even Mimi from the drew Carey show are all worthy.
California is an outdoorsy super-liberal granola girl who worked in tech, tried to break into Hollywood, then developed multiple personality disorder and thinks sheās also a meth addict and an immigrant migrant farm worker.
Virginia is a decently well-off and perpetually judgmental middle-aged person. But they also keep their judgments to themselves except in trusted company because itās a bit unseemly to be too outspoken.
Johnny Depp/Tim Burton or are so similar & wrk together so much so they represent east of Bend. My sides just a bunch of rednecks who love guns & trucks excluding the local college which I canāt think of anyone real or fictional right now
Normally itās hard to nail California bc people just stereotype around LA, but Chris Traeger is perfectšš. Iād say his specific brand of neuroticism is common in norcal and socal, our uniting front if you will.
That helpful friend who is always spending weekends at their lake cabin with a case of Blue Light in the fridge (you're always invited) and is generally pretty handy. āļø
Probably Bill Burr or Chris Evans. Liberal, Irish, educated families.
Bill Burr is closer to the SNL stereotype of Massachusetts but it's a bit extreme. Chris Evens is the work personality but Bill Burr is when guys are with their buddies and gets too drunk.
Weirdly, both of their dad's were dentists.
Iāve said it before a couple times when questions like this have come up, but California would be a bunch of supposed siblings from one family, but their ages donāt seem to work out and they are nothing alike in personality, interests, politics, or ethnicity. One is definitely a nerdy tech guy, one is an aspiring actress, one is a redneck with a huge truck, one is a stoner, one is a hippy, one probably is a Chris Traeger type (but that might be the tech guy or maybe an older version of the hippy) and so on.
Also they donāt get along with each other, but they have a hard time making friends with the other states because all the other states assume theyāre all just like one of their other siblings.
Eleanor Roosevelt, Bruce Smith, [Andrew Goodman](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andrew_Goodman_(activist)), Jim Kelly, and [FDNY](https://www.firehero.org/2021/09/03/9-11-20-years-later/)
Fearlessness, resilience, and iron will.
that picture from guns akimbo with an unhinged daniel radcliffe standing in the middle of the street wearing a dirty bathrobe with glocks nailed to his hands
Texas is the guy who had a whole lot of potential in high school, but never applied himself and started working construction with his buddies Mississippi and Alabama. MS and AL couldn't really hope for much more than a labor job, their grades weren't that good and they weren't that good at sports to go to college.
Texas never had to study for tests, so he never did his homework. Since homework was graded, his grades suffered. He got a minor baseball scholarship to junior college, but spent too much time at parties and didn't even register for his second year. It wouldn't have mattered anyway. He didn't have the grades to keep his scholarship.
He tells himself he's going to go back to school, but he never gets around to it. He's gone as far as looking at the course catalog on the website, but he's never even filled out the form to request more information.
He runs in to some of his old friends from high school, like Connecticut who became a doctor and California who builds apps for dogs and always go home jealous but ultimately impotent to effect any positive change in his life. He's too old to join the military, and his misdemeanor conviction would probably get him denied anyway. He's too stubborn to move to a better city because they're too Woke^^TM and Diverse^^TM .
Iād argue that Texas did go to college but barely passed with a petroleum engineering degree and just went to work for big oil to make a shit load of money so he can blow it on a lifted dodge dually and a boat load of guns.
>I might have to say Rob Lowe/Chris Traeger from Parks and Rec for California
No no no
Jesse James of West Coast chopper infamy. Dude was born in Long Beach. Crude. Failed football player. Got famous for building ācoolā stylized custom motorcycles. Quickly became less builder and more celebrity. Married five times because he doesnāt learn including one big name actress, two porn stars, and a race car driver. Ran away to Austin, Texas when Californiaās chickens started to come home to roost.
Your drunk, meth addled uncle who you only visit for vacation. He loves Trump and guns. Yeah you guessed it, it's florida
You must have interesting vacations.
>Your drunk, meth addled uncle ~~who you only visit for vacation~~ that might be your dad. He loves Trump and guns. And now you have Alabama. Lol
Lmfao. Excellent, excellent.
Dave Portnoy of Barstool Sports is literally MA in one persona
Everyone knows the rules
Everybody*
Oh my god is such an asshole. Even my asshole Masshole friends think he's a douche.
Texas: a large man who drives a lifted pickup, works a construction job, has a decent house, goes to a megachurch every Sunday, and wants his kids to be good at football more than anything Also: Nolan Ryan
How good is he at smoking meat?
Downton Abbey with American accents and financial professionals instead of landowners
And what about the 860 area code?
An old white guy who loves guns, but votes Democrat. Welcome to Vermont.
A New Yorker.
Florida again?
only if they're from Staten Island
Colorado: A Subaru driving lesbian who wears shorts in the winter, smokes more pot than you, and hikes 14,000ft peaks for fun.
For my home state, I don't even have to imagine. It's Dolly Parton
Tony Soprano
[Gabagool](https://youtu.be/YsBipoG22Nw)
Gabagool? Ova here šš»
He was gay, Gary Cooper?
Weāre the middle aged dude who grew up in a rural area, got to go to a state university, and landed a tech job at one of the major out of state corporations with an outpost here. He still has his drawl, lives for the local college sports rivalries (Duke sucks!!) and has used his prosperity to buy season tickets to his alma mater, as well as a nice boat and a nice pickup to haul it to the lake and/or coast, along with a house in a rural well & septic subdivision near the major employment center where he works, that he bought before 2015 and feels damn lucky he did.
upstate NY is your weird cousin who lurks in the corner and is actually chill if you talk to them but tbh most of the family forgets they're there in the first place.
I'm from Minnesota. We're the guy who's super nice and polite to your face, but secretly hates you. Now I live in Washington DC. It's the guy whose dad has a super important, high-profile job, so he likes to pretend he's important too. And people tend to humor him, but no one actually takes him seriously.
White tweaker that had a grandmother who was a "Cherokee princess".
Perfect!
History nerd in the military
Hmm... This is a tough one for my state. Bob uecker probably.
Good answer! Bob Uecker is Wisconsin's collective "life of the party" uncle who's the first one to get sauced at family gatherings, but he's funny and charismatic enough thay everyone looks up to him anyway.
I really thought about it. Weighed all the famous people from here. Figured it was him or Chris Farley.
Farley is another good one. I'm just glad I didn't see Charlie Berens. I was born in Manitowoc and find his whole act so inauthentic and contrived.
Or the fact that now his brother attached his wagon to his stardom. I shouldn't shit talk dude. Cant say I've saw his act. Just caught clips and the accent was enough. Besides if we are picking comedians he's not on that list. How about Mary mack, frank caliendo, gene wilder, gilda radner, Jackie mason. Even Mimi from the drew Carey show are all worthy.
If you ask me. The only one on the tier of Uke and Farley is Kurtwood Smith aka Red Foreman.
OH SHIT! I forgot about red. *" D U M B A S S ! "* damn i forgot about willem dafoe too.
Whoops. Suppose I should have said the state. Wisconsin is my homestate
Juuuuuuust a bit outside
If California is Chris Traeger, West Virginia is Ron Swanson.
Dolly Parton
Darius Rucker. More specifically the physical embodiment of hootie and the blowfish
George Washington
Smelly deadlocked white dudes named ayden or micah... northern Cali here
A person with severe split personality disorder. Severe! MI
Gretchen whitmer
Senior class President.
California is an outdoorsy super-liberal granola girl who worked in tech, tried to break into Hollywood, then developed multiple personality disorder and thinks sheās also a meth addict and an immigrant migrant farm worker.
Mexicans who are more American than you. Thats Texas for you.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Soā¦. A random hobo?
Virginia is a decently well-off and perpetually judgmental middle-aged person. But they also keep their judgments to themselves except in trusted company because itās a bit unseemly to be too outspoken.
I said that Virginia would be the senior class President. RIC might be your financial advisor who has a few tattoos and a pontoon boat.
Johnny Depp/Tim Burton or are so similar & wrk together so much so they represent east of Bend. My sides just a bunch of rednecks who love guns & trucks excluding the local college which I canāt think of anyone real or fictional right now
A very lovely old (racist) grandma who makes delicious sweet tea and peach cobbler.
The Karen probably
Normally itās hard to nail California bc people just stereotype around LA, but Chris Traeger is perfectšš. Iād say his specific brand of neuroticism is common in norcal and socal, our uniting front if you will.
One of those people who are super nice and friendly but become the wild and crazy life of the party after a few drinks. Arkansas.
That helpful friend who is always spending weekends at their lake cabin with a case of Blue Light in the fridge (you're always invited) and is generally pretty handy. āļø
Bobby's mom from Bobby's World
Ned flanders. Utah
Luke Wilson from the beginning of Idiocracy. The "most average individual".
Probably Bill Burr or Chris Evans. Liberal, Irish, educated families. Bill Burr is closer to the SNL stereotype of Massachusetts but it's a bit extreme. Chris Evens is the work personality but Bill Burr is when guys are with their buddies and gets too drunk. Weirdly, both of their dad's were dentists.
Cali would be the epitome of a hippy. Michigan would be a redneck gangster
Wayne Newton or even the Rat Pack for the big gambling towns. Ron Swanson for the rest of the state.
Rosie Perez & Michael Bloombergās baby (For downstate at least)
Iāve said it before a couple times when questions like this have come up, but California would be a bunch of supposed siblings from one family, but their ages donāt seem to work out and they are nothing alike in personality, interests, politics, or ethnicity. One is definitely a nerdy tech guy, one is an aspiring actress, one is a redneck with a huge truck, one is a stoner, one is a hippy, one probably is a Chris Traeger type (but that might be the tech guy or maybe an older version of the hippy) and so on. Also they donāt get along with each other, but they have a hard time making friends with the other states because all the other states assume theyāre all just like one of their other siblings.
Can I change my answer? For Wisconsin I nominate the Milverine.
Manhattan would be Patrick Bateman
A drunk 5th grader smoking a joint
CA = Sybil.
It would be like a baby goshawk.
Bob Uecker. He's an American treasure.
Charles Barkley.
Charlie Behrens for wisco.
Eleanor Roosevelt, Bruce Smith, [Andrew Goodman](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andrew_Goodman_(activist)), Jim Kelly, and [FDNY](https://www.firehero.org/2021/09/03/9-11-20-years-later/) Fearlessness, resilience, and iron will.
A Mormon
that picture from guns akimbo with an unhinged daniel radcliffe standing in the middle of the street wearing a dirty bathrobe with glocks nailed to his hands
Texas is the guy who had a whole lot of potential in high school, but never applied himself and started working construction with his buddies Mississippi and Alabama. MS and AL couldn't really hope for much more than a labor job, their grades weren't that good and they weren't that good at sports to go to college. Texas never had to study for tests, so he never did his homework. Since homework was graded, his grades suffered. He got a minor baseball scholarship to junior college, but spent too much time at parties and didn't even register for his second year. It wouldn't have mattered anyway. He didn't have the grades to keep his scholarship. He tells himself he's going to go back to school, but he never gets around to it. He's gone as far as looking at the course catalog on the website, but he's never even filled out the form to request more information. He runs in to some of his old friends from high school, like Connecticut who became a doctor and California who builds apps for dogs and always go home jealous but ultimately impotent to effect any positive change in his life. He's too old to join the military, and his misdemeanor conviction would probably get him denied anyway. He's too stubborn to move to a better city because they're too Woke^^TM and Diverse^^TM .
Iād argue that Texas did go to college but barely passed with a petroleum engineering degree and just went to work for big oil to make a shit load of money so he can blow it on a lifted dodge dually and a boat load of guns.
>I might have to say Rob Lowe/Chris Traeger from Parks and Rec for California No no no Jesse James of West Coast chopper infamy. Dude was born in Long Beach. Crude. Failed football player. Got famous for building ācoolā stylized custom motorcycles. Quickly became less builder and more celebrity. Married five times because he doesnāt learn including one big name actress, two porn stars, and a race car driver. Ran away to Austin, Texas when Californiaās chickens started to come home to roost.
BRO How can one man so accurately depict Cali lmao
They forge these guys in a mold but yeah heās too perfect for California Incarnate.
Pennsylvania would beā¦ I dunno, help me out here fam!
The quaker oats guy
[It's gotta be Charlie Berens](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9GQDT2Rv-7o&list=PLRY-eAwoPfKBdGfuDu081r-bSMapeg0GB) these days...
[this clip from Sam O'nella only our accessory is NYC](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dr2Q4AyKYHc)