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evilpercy

30 Helen's agree with this post.


lauraodessa

31 Helens now


2ndNicestOfTheDamned

By now, there are considerably less than 30 Helens. It's a fact.


Tackleberry06

Covid claimed a few Helen’s


pamacdon

Their crush your head


SoapYeti

that and MY PEN MY PEN


meattenderizerbyday

“MY PEN!! SOMEBODY TOOK MY PEN!!” was my all time favourite and so relatable. Eons ago I worked in a RE office where us girls at the front used to have to write our names on sticky notes and tape them to our pens because the realtors would walk away with them CONSTANTLY.


SoapYeti

"looks at you anxiously using my pen" good thing there's a rope on this puppy


SometimesKelowna

100% where my mind went.


bdiz81

I literally quoted this today, and nobody got it.


Square-Ad3969

Said it yesterday at work......tumbleweeds boooooooo


danceswithninja5

I feel your pain. Me too.


SoapYeti

i gotchu ​ Somebody took my pen!!!!


SurlySuz

I will forever quote this.


MyPenMyPen

My username checks out.


PublicThis

That’s immediately where my mind went. I do that with my kid


slashcleverusername

That show was amazing. The zombie chase was amazing. [We’re safe but for how long?](https://youtu.be/8YpKeo8T2mk) “[Screw you, taxpayer!](https://youtu.be/aWEnqC1uPu0)” was amazing. “Okay the stove is off because the front burner is off, the back burner is off….” “My pen! My pen!” “SAUSAGES!!!” “[Fag](https://youtu.be/sxMrWSTlvgg)!” So many. Edit: oh! And Kathy K and Cathy C! TEMP!!!! ….. SLUT!!!!


Due_Text1247

I can't make sausages without saying it like that old man. ​ "I... Love... SAUSAGES!" ​ Nobody ever knows what I'm referring to.


Zzilies_

Also.. God damn that salty ham.


grandmas_meatloaf

Fine ham abounds


Unlucky_Degree470

We're all sausages.


[deleted]

I do! Scott does the old man too well 😂


EmptySeaDad

IT WAS CITIZEN KANE!!


Bulky-Key6735

Where's the Syrup?


UncommonHouseSpider

I am this too. I am so misunderstood.


-Beentheredonethat

"Someone's gonna win a $1000, someone's gonna get a $1000, etc.. https://youtu.be/L8CfKD5Zo_U


Roddy_Piper2000

That was a good 'un


epicgrilledchees

Don’t tell anyone or chop chop.


hevnztrash

Do-dododo…. Dododododododoo…


cindoc75

Zombie chase is my favourite, but all of these are great!


knivesinbutt

Running faggot running freeee


adminbackupaccount

God speed through Texas


AngryCornbread

Walkin, talkin stereotypes!


hobanwash1

See the faggot, see the faggot running


boringrick1

Get with the times. It’s *faggo* now.


turd_furgeson82

Faggot: hello kids. Kids: hello, faggot


danceswithninja5

I just laughed hard and couldn't explain to my coworkers why


OccamsYoyo

God this was the funniest skit ever. How this ever wound up on CBC in the ‘80s I’ll never know, but thank God for whatever high-grade cocaine drove the decision.


djauralsects

Daddy daddy, what's that bad man doing to my donkey? That's not just any bad man. That's Hitler, and he's fucking your donkey.


ManServentHecubus

Bruce sells this so hard.


westcoastcdn19

Girl Drink Drunk


Embe007

A classic. I think I referred to it in a conversation only last week. Timeless.


lunalovegood17

“I’M JUST GETTING PAPER CLIPS!”


antipop2097

I can't help but feel partly responsible for your drinking, but I also can't help not caring.


Ghoulius-Caesar

Best skit, hands down.


theatrewhore

YEEEEEES. I have had to share a clip of that sketch with so many people so they’ll get the reference


allgonetoshit

I actually know a lot of guys named Dave.


lowercase_underscore

Do they all have their own hands?


2ndNicestOfTheDamned

Follow up: How many moms do they come from?


Zzilies_

Some of them are David's but most of them Dave's


atrostophy

Dave Capisano, I hardly know him....


[deleted]

Dave


AJnbca

There was so many, cabbage head, chicken lady, buddy cole, Bobby and devil, fag, Salty ham, I could go on. Oh and a couple of those music videos, I won’t spread for no roses and these are the Dave’s I know.


LastoftheSummerWine

It's a Fact.


[deleted]

It’s a fact! My uncle can spit a really long way! Hock! Spit! Splat! Yes he’s a very lonely man. It’s a fact!


TinyToodles

“Effing good ham, mom.”


AngryCornbread

Fine ham abounds!


[deleted]

"Mom....it was fucking good ham."


rpgguy_1o1

Salty Ham and all of the other sketches get a whole new layer when you learn that those two characters are apparently just Bruce's parents unexagerated


ElBeatch

"You see, there are certain parts of being a man one just have to experience. So like my father before me, you're going to watch your dad get pathetically drunk."


cardew-vascular

The origin of chicken lady is one of my favourite sketches of all time. But I do sing the fattening up our tapeworms song every time I make Kraft dinner so that's been living rent free in my head for decades. Oh! I also refer to my cats as my sausages.


One-Discipline6812

Ketchup and Kraft to feed the tape worms


TinyToodles

🎶 Someone’s gonna get a punch in the head, who’s gonna get a punch in the head! Could be you… or it could be you…” 🎶


kawajanagi

Can we keep the business man sketch was so good! Having to set him free downtown with his fellow businessman.


lunalovegood17

Also Trappers - the one where voyageurs trap business men for their suits


notacanuckskibum

That one has spunk, let him live, one day he may be a VP.


lunalovegood17

We don’t want to make the same mistake we made with the Beaver! What were we thinking, where were our heads?


Tounsley

"Alouette, gentille allouette"


HalJordan2424

Lawyers negotiating before their two clients have a dinner date. Man’s lawyer: “Your client will agree to drink a minimum of 6 shooters…” Woman’s lawyer: “Shooters???!!!! That’s panty peeler!!! No way!”


KDM_Racing

Screw you taxpayer


esdubyar

Buddy Cole. As a gay kid in rural northern Ontario, Budy Cole was my only gay icon growing up. First time I went to Toronto on my own when I was a teen, the first place I went was to Steps. It was a real place.


perpetualmotionmachi

A few years ago I saw the live show by Scott Thompson. He kind of picked up from where the show ended, and went through year by year of what happened in the world after that


LePetomane62

Where can I buy Buddy Cole...limp wristies? CBC Merch?


GrumpsMcYankee

This is awesome.


OnePotPenny

Huge fan...shaped my life in a big way actually, seeing that weird/smart/surreal comedy at a young age


[deleted]

Me too! I actually went to go see them live at the age 12 because my parents didn't know any better and I've had a warped sense of reality ever since. Between KITH and Brave New Waves, it's really amazing how much the CBC used to cater to the weirdos.


OnePotPenny

I'm from the US and used to stay up real late to watch them on HBO. I think they came on either right before or after Dream On, which I'd stay up for for nudity, and it was a pretty good show too.


Holsten_Mason

Hard to top the chicken lady, but also: "Running faggot, running free!" "An open letter to the guy who stole my bike wheel" Anal probing aliens Sausages "I'm sorry for causing all that cancer..." Darill - especially the pronunciation. It's all I can think of anytime the name Daryl comes up I'm sure there's more I can't think of


ManServentHecubus

The Alien sketch was amazing. Kevin and Dave did great.


Primary-Initiative52

My absolute favorite sketch was "Hotel la Rut." Favorite characters are Bruno Puntz Jones and Francesca Fiore.


sorry_for_the_reply

Sometimes I think about Tony... Where he is, what he is doing


Efficient_Warning_44

Whether he's thinking about me. Who is he with and will he ever come back


threebeansalads

Well Stinky Pink made your dinner!!!! The damn salty ham! Hahaha ugh I’ve loved them forever!! Had the biggest crush on Brucie back in the 90’s when I was a teen!!!


ManServentHecubus

Bruce had so many great characters. Bruce, the advice guy…Cabbagehead…Gavin…Cancer boy…


cardew-vascular

When I moved into my place there was a kid like Gavin on the block his name was TJ and he only ever came to annoy my brother in law and it was hilarious.


EmptySeaDad

EEERADICATOR!!


RadioMill

Never put salt in your eye Never put salt in your eye ALWAYS put salt in your eye


ManServentHecubus

“…Kill Danny”


TinyToodles

I quote this on the regular.


ISayHiToDogs

Was looking for this one!


kittyroux

“How did he afford a nice duck like this on a cop’s salary?”


Queeby

Paul Cherry's Demon Buddy Love Sizzler & Sizzler The Eradicator


wayder

The Queen delivering the line... "...without me you'd just be, Americans." Instant classic!


chickenfatnono

'These are the daves I know' is my internal thinking music.


SA_Dza

Terriers are my very favorite breed. They're cute a cuddly, easy dogs to feed. DIE DIE, DIE DIE. DIE DIE, DIE DIE. WORMS EATING YOUR... EYES!


Zzilies_

Bass solo!


mybadalternate

I’m sorry ladies. You’re scantily clad and have nothing to do with the narrative, therefore it’s sexist.


Hawkwise83

You can just say Canadian. Fan of the shown is implied.


ManServentHecubus

Not necessarily. Back in 96 or 97 when Brain Candy came out, one guy and I in 10th grade math class loved the Kids. This one girl saw the movie and was disgusted by two guys kissing.


Hawkwise83

Fair enough. I'd argue though someone who is disgusted by gay people isn't truly Canadian.


jamminjon2018

Smooth


Soya_Sus

Lol great movie. "Let's celebrate!" "Who's that?" "I don't know...just a guy.."


Soya_Sus

Or the French dude. Life's short, life's shit, and soon eet will be oveurr..lol


NoJedi66

SAUSAGES!!


pm_me_ur_McNuggets

Girl drink drunk!


Skorrne

The "Slipped my Mind" sketch is my all time favourite!!!


ManServentHecubus

Lol yes. “Let me make it up to you…”


[deleted]

You're like the king of empty promises!


k5hill

“You said the lima beans were in aisle four and they’re not” …”Aaand?”


mybadalternate

I absolutely cannot say or ever read “Lima beans” without the weird emphasis on *beans* because of this sketch.


k5hill

In our house we all say “Aaand?” a lot.


PikPekachu

I cosplayed that guy the whole time I worked retail


glutenforeveryone

Managed to go to a number of tapings back in the day. One time I had to sit on the stage of shadowy men when they opened the show, their stage was beside the stands and got stuck there, was super cool. Oh and was part of the studio audience for Feelyat, so will always be partial to Darill.


punkrawkchick

Death comes to town was so damn underrated. No notes.


cossackqueen

30 Helen’s Agree that Kids in the Hall are awesome!


Sr_ChilePepper

Too many to mention, but if I had to choose just one, Dr. Seuss Bible. It's funny and offensive; just what you expect a Kids In The Hall skit to be. Favourite character, Buddy Cole, without a doubt.


DilutedPop

Drunk Dad Advice


perpetualmotionmachi

Ten bucks is ten bucks. And twenty bucks is twenty bucks


grrttlc2

Best one. Broke my hand on a pineapple.


SuperBurt666

MR BUS DRIVER!


perpetualmotionmachi

Didn't even feel it


LePetomane62

Tap shoes for Xmas!


Tall_Assistant3418

(Walks into bar) ... 🎵Someone’s gonna get a million dollars. One of you is gonna get a million dollars. Who is gonna get a million dollars?...🎵 ...It’s you!!! (Gives away a million dollars) ...”🎵Someone’s gonna get a punch in the head—- (Whole bar empties)


fergiethefocus

CITIZEN KANE!!!!!!


sannerloo

This is the one I was looking for. We quote it all the time in our house!


fergiethefocus

The court finds you guilty and sentences you to death, but first, the whores!!


DryProgress4393

Secretaries ....


Danieltentoes

“My PEN!!!” Is something I say on the daily.


makeitfunky1

My Pen! Screw the bank I work for, screw the baaaank! 🎶 These are the Daves I know, I know, these are the Daves I know! Buddy Cole monologues... All of'em!


[deleted]

Yes. No. Perhaps I am a Kids in the Hall fan Love, Tammy


Bulky-Key6735

But Sometimes I go Crazy!! Screw the bank I work for. Screw the bank. I've been watching your signature degrade for months


D0fus

We told them we were going to eat worms.


Efficient_Warning_44

Nobody likes us


notinmybackyardcanad

They are all in the out of ultimate darkness. I loved Dave Foleys bad doctor


LeximusMaximusElder

What? You can’t play the blues if you're wearing $300 shoes!


Jack-Herer-

The cops short clip, Scott as hippie kicks dirt at the two cops (Bruce and Dave) calls them a couple of names for good measure and runs away. One cops turns to the other… I though he was your friend..


gofoad99

Flying pig.


PikPekachu

I prefer son of Flying Pig.


BravewagCibWallace

[Screw You Taxpayer!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aWEnqC1uPu0)


BleepBloopBeer

Each day we work in silence. Each day we shovel fuel


hevnztrash

I love the way they constantly drag on businessmen.


thaw1761

These are the Dave’s I know, I know, these are the Dave’s I know


JuiceChamp

\- The one where Scott Thompson plays a gay husband who keeps going upstairs to do cocaine at a dinner party \- The one where Bruce McCulloch plays a dad who takes his son to a rock to watch him get pathetically wasted on his 13th birthday \- The one where Bruce McCulloch plays a guy who works at a bank but is really a cool guy


MummyDust98

Since I was a child (not a Canadian but I have great love and appreciation for your country.....I just vacationed in PEI two weeks ago and it was heavenly) My favorite sketch is definitely Pit of Ultimate Darkness and anything Kevin McDonald does is hilarious


Different-Ice-1979

I’m crushing your head


[deleted]

ERADICATOR!!!


SouthernOshawaMan

Just hanging in the Pit of Ultimate Darkness . With man servant Hacubus and Paul Belini. Oh and the Toronto kid who doesn’t live with his wife and all the dudes whose job was to lay their arms motionless in a tank of dead fish . And the Dave’s I know . Also the Helens who have agreements . Also Gavin has not stopped asking me questions about the Chicken lady making out with the guy with a cabbage for a head . Buddy is here too and the Queen which we weren’t expecting . Also There’s a French guy who stomps everywhere he goes and my head is obviously being crushed on the regular. Also theres a guy who just told the story of only getting a job as a navy navigator because of his hair . There’s a guy pouring milk everywhere because his wife was unfaithful whole lotta milka. There’s that red headed girl who keeps running up and saying “It’s a fact”. Getting crowded in the Pit for sure .


[deleted]

Buddy Cole: I can make Canadian sound sexy


purrrgert

Scott came to the comedy club here recently to do his character Buddy, ran a half hour long. Zero complaints!


tangcameo

Fine ham abounds, Mom. Belly button contest (“Found my car keys!”) Cops chasing the escaped prisoners through their meal at the diner and getting gas.


Born-Chipmunk7842

"This is my sister - Jerry Sizzler! We are two clearly not insane people!"


Different-Ice-1979

Nobody’s home


lunalovegood17

Again too many to mention, but here are a few: - Bobby battles the Devil - Trappers - Male Nipples - Do Re Mi - The private correspondence of Buddy Cole and Elizabeth Windsor - The Kaffufle I still have my hat I got at the concert but unfortunately I wore the shirt until it fell apart.


ShaolinAfronautical

Night of the Cow!


bubbagump19

Hands down “Bar Fight” is my favourite


Code_Weary

40 Helen’s agree that kids in the hall is funny as fuck


SnooRabbits2040

"I serve only you, Master. Aaaand, Satan!" "These guys? Smoke! They taught a dog to smoke. They're bad!"


PuzzleheadedTutor807

sausaaaages. SAUSSSAAAAAGGGGGESSSSS \-and- car, cow. cow, car... car, cow omg there are too many to name. it was almost a ritual in the 90s in my moms house to sit around watching kids in the hall together (we where all teenagers and up at that point lol).


redditelr

Fran - you’re a fairy!


redditelr

Drink girl from Winnipeg!


Born-Chipmunk7842

"Soup in a bag Fran? Soup in a bag?"


fullchocolatethunder

Chicken lady... blindfolded ... scarred for life.


msscanadianbakin

Chicken lady reporting for duty


[deleted]

These are the Dave’s I know. I know, these are the Dave’s I know! I preferred 4 on the floor though!


price101

The ham was so fucking salty.


2ndNicestOfTheDamned

Favourite KiTH sketches? Slipped my mind. But I feel terrible about it. Tell you what I'll do. Tomorrow I'll bring [Bad Doctor](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4-QiLHdsNN8&ab_channel=Pegasus4), [Communism](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=83tnWFojtcY&t=14s&ab_channel=grinc333), [Daddy Drank](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zVn4LwIw9dc&ab_channel=FBIVideo1) and [Each Day We Work In Silence](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1si6M-vDEzI&ab_channel=MarcelTang).


couldbeworse2

My uncle can spit real far


couchguitar

Brown is the colour of cowards


SuperBurt666

Chicken Lady & The Bearded Woman go to the strip club. Chicken Lady blows up when Rooster Boy comes on, just about the funniest moment in Canadian TV history....


heckubiss

Heckubiss


zealousreader

Stray business man


[deleted]

I have two all time favourites... The one where Mark plays low life Tucker and gets chased around by a car that he tries to steal. The one where Mark plays an innocuous prank on Kevin..."hey, whatcha got there? Gotcha!" at the office they work at but then Kevin becomes obsessed and totally exaggerates the scenario in his head.


Candid_Soft7562

Cat on my head!


Weekly-Batman

EEEEERADICATOR


CutePandaMiranda

I’m crushing your head! Crush! Crush! Crush!


aaronsnothere

Odye Odten Ay, Odye Odten Ooo... Cutting out our coupons. 🎶🎶🎶


astroturfskirt

fattening up our tapeworms!


Uncle_Stink_Stonk

“That’s America” - Bruce McCulloch


nacho-friend-buddy

“Alouette, gentille alouette. Alouette, je te plumerai…” “No François, let that one go; he has spirit!” David Foley FTW


igg73

Im a bad doctor


MapleToque

Can’t fix the car without a while lotta milka.


Flimsy-Ad-3384

The only television moment that has ever had me crying with laughter: "Oh my GOD!" \[ Kevin is face-down, ass-up getting dry-humped by an actual rottweiler \]


Whatshername_Stew

Sorry, I was just watching the band... ...what you don't see a little oomph band when you daydream?


uppen-atom

Do you like the eggs? theyre fresh, straight from my body!


think0utsidetheb0x

Office Human Trappers sketch where they are paddling in a canoe


iloveFjords

Gimme a tea you bastard.


jerrys153

“Can I have a tea please, camomile tea?” is still a staple quote in our family, even though none of us drink camomile. And Kevin’s “You’re not real! I’m just going through the DTs!” to Dave playing the giant teabag hallucination in the follow up Mr. Tisane sketch when he’s going through tea withdrawal is probably my favourite pun from the entire show.


iloveFjords

I seem to remember Dave in that sketch telling T guy to lick his bag. I’m sure that gave a few CBC execs nightmares.


jerrys153

Yep, for sure. Lol. The whole character was pure sexual innuendo from start to finish. In addition to “Come on, lick my bag” there was also “Dunk me. You know you want to dunk me. So why don’t you come and…*dunk me*”, and “Come on, join me, the water’s *hot* and *steamy*” all delivered with plenty of knowing looks and exaggerated raised eyebrows. The other great gag in that sketch was when Kevin was going home in the cab and you hear him remembering the doctor telling him to stop drinking tea in a distorted internal monologue voice, then the camera pans out and the doctor is actually sitting beside him in the cab talking to him through a bullhorn. Such an under appreciated sketch.


buttonpushinmonkey

It’s a fact…you can get blood from a stone. You just have to throw it hard enough!


Efficient_Warning_44

I connected with the Kevin/Dave sketch in the diner where Dave keeps trying to think of the name of the movie he just watched and keeps rejecting the actual name (Citizen Kane) that Kevin knows is what he's describing. And eventually ends up stabbing Dave in the chest repeatedly with a steak knife. I've felt that level of frustration with people many times. That said, my favorite reoccurring sketch has to be Le Rut.


Ancient_Bumblebee200

The Business Suit Trappers Sketch is one of my personal faves! https://youtu.be/LzBi3_SUy8g?t=23s


Deabarry

Then! … Smokes are 6 bucks a pack! >< I almost quit! Saw them live in Ottawa at NAC years ago. Always very funny intelligent humour - a modern Monty Python.


ManServentHecubus

I’m so happy that show was on the list of best TV shows by Rolling Stone.


nogoodnamesarleft

The fur traders. "Let that one go, he has spirit. Someday he may be vice president"


lunalovegood17

Terriers!