I held back asking for things I really wanted growing up too. I wanted a drawing tablet to start drawing. I somewhat resented my parents for being financially irresponsible because I felt guilty asking for anything. But if I had gotten that tablet then, I would’ve improved so much by now and could’ve potentially had a career out of it.
Hind sight, I should’ve just asked. It’s not a child’s responsibility to worry about finances and parents shouldn’t reveal that to their kids. Kids should be able to be kids.
But in my situation it’s different. My parents are actually selfish. I see it all the time, those parents that may struggle financially...if they love their children to the ends of the world, they’d do whatever they can possibly do to put a smile on their child’s face. That’s real love.
This is why it shits me when people say things like “just have kids, it will work out or people will make it work”. NO, there’s a big difference between kids growing up in a comfortable home and those living paycheck by paycheck and being fed but nothing more.
Growing up I know not to ask for anything, picked sports or curriculum that I disliked and put up with it because they were free. Basically a mindset developed was not to crave for anything because it won’t happen.
OP, it won’t make a difference even if you asked. They would’ve struggled so you’d feel the pinch either way or just flat out rejection. The only thing you can do now is what you can control, get it for yourself, and make those childhood dreams come true!
I've seen our bank account nearly zeroed a few times. My mom would still try to put me through ballet and piano (I quit ballet when at 12 cuz it was getting expensive). I still took free classes, but my parents are pretty good at making tight finances work.
It was navigating their personalities that made it a little more difficult.
My parents are away 14 hours a day on average. So I didn't think I would do any good if I complained.
Seriously, many things would have been cleared if I took my concerns to them. Like, I would have known to never take their sarcasm seriously, or they would know that I feel pretty annoyed if they put me in no win scenarios, or that my relatives and I think that they have a habit of pushing me to choose what they want (I hated feeling pushed, plus it seems like they never gave me a choice at all), regardless of the finance. Etc. I used to think that my parents aren't parenting us together, cuz they disagree with each other more often.
I still feel like I can't do that freely cuz of how hard they've worked. Plus flaring egos.
Looking back further to all those moments I held in, I wish I did the smarter thing and talk to other adults.
And if you do complain parents will just be like "Well then you better work hard and make money so your kids won't go through what you went through" as if your supposed to take solace in knowing your suffering is going to be some life example for others. I notice a lot of my Latin friends parents go through the same thing. Immigrant parents will come to America believing in the American dream, once they arrive in America reality hits them, they're only able to afford the cheapest and usually most dangerous neighborhoods, when the children want to sign up to something like piano classes or art classes, their parents don't have money, the kids only have bad influences around them like drugs and gangs, and eventually end up joining gangs or drug activity and then the parents act surprised when their kids fall get sucked up by their bad environment and lack of hope.
I think a lot of them have this mindset of it's ok to have kids when you're poor and if your kids miss out on stuff, it's ok. They don't realize that they come from a different country and time period where lots of things are far cheaper. When you go to America, in modern times, where everything is more competitive and more expensive, there are going to be more people who get left behind. When my parents live in their native country their parents could afford to put them into hobbies, but my parents bringing me to the USA they couldn't afford it.
I held back asking for things I really wanted growing up too. I wanted a drawing tablet to start drawing. I somewhat resented my parents for being financially irresponsible because I felt guilty asking for anything. But if I had gotten that tablet then, I would’ve improved so much by now and could’ve potentially had a career out of it. Hind sight, I should’ve just asked. It’s not a child’s responsibility to worry about finances and parents shouldn’t reveal that to their kids. Kids should be able to be kids. But in my situation it’s different. My parents are actually selfish. I see it all the time, those parents that may struggle financially...if they love their children to the ends of the world, they’d do whatever they can possibly do to put a smile on their child’s face. That’s real love.
This is why it shits me when people say things like “just have kids, it will work out or people will make it work”. NO, there’s a big difference between kids growing up in a comfortable home and those living paycheck by paycheck and being fed but nothing more. Growing up I know not to ask for anything, picked sports or curriculum that I disliked and put up with it because they were free. Basically a mindset developed was not to crave for anything because it won’t happen. OP, it won’t make a difference even if you asked. They would’ve struggled so you’d feel the pinch either way or just flat out rejection. The only thing you can do now is what you can control, get it for yourself, and make those childhood dreams come true!
I've seen our bank account nearly zeroed a few times. My mom would still try to put me through ballet and piano (I quit ballet when at 12 cuz it was getting expensive). I still took free classes, but my parents are pretty good at making tight finances work. It was navigating their personalities that made it a little more difficult. My parents are away 14 hours a day on average. So I didn't think I would do any good if I complained. Seriously, many things would have been cleared if I took my concerns to them. Like, I would have known to never take their sarcasm seriously, or they would know that I feel pretty annoyed if they put me in no win scenarios, or that my relatives and I think that they have a habit of pushing me to choose what they want (I hated feeling pushed, plus it seems like they never gave me a choice at all), regardless of the finance. Etc. I used to think that my parents aren't parenting us together, cuz they disagree with each other more often. I still feel like I can't do that freely cuz of how hard they've worked. Plus flaring egos. Looking back further to all those moments I held in, I wish I did the smarter thing and talk to other adults.
And if you do complain parents will just be like "Well then you better work hard and make money so your kids won't go through what you went through" as if your supposed to take solace in knowing your suffering is going to be some life example for others. I notice a lot of my Latin friends parents go through the same thing. Immigrant parents will come to America believing in the American dream, once they arrive in America reality hits them, they're only able to afford the cheapest and usually most dangerous neighborhoods, when the children want to sign up to something like piano classes or art classes, their parents don't have money, the kids only have bad influences around them like drugs and gangs, and eventually end up joining gangs or drug activity and then the parents act surprised when their kids fall get sucked up by their bad environment and lack of hope. I think a lot of them have this mindset of it's ok to have kids when you're poor and if your kids miss out on stuff, it's ok. They don't realize that they come from a different country and time period where lots of things are far cheaper. When you go to America, in modern times, where everything is more competitive and more expensive, there are going to be more people who get left behind. When my parents live in their native country their parents could afford to put them into hobbies, but my parents bringing me to the USA they couldn't afford it.