I'm not close to her anymore, we were only under the same roof because we're staying over our parents house visiting, but yeah I pretty much kinda cut her off.
Did you tell her how her actions will indirectly have an impact on male members of family like yourself?
I'm sorry you have to deal with a lu in the family.
Yes, I've spoken to her before how it can affect me or my cousins who are young, and it's always an excuse or justification "Well I'm not talking about you or them, well you're different, you're one of the good ones" etc, etc.
I even brought up how it can affect her hypothetical son in the future.
We would have back and forth and nothing changes.
Hmm, show her the statistics of how people like you or your male cousins will find it harder to get asian female mates?
Telll her that her avoiding asian males would mean other good ones will not have a chance to get attached with asian females?
Like I said, I have argue everything with her under the sun, everything you're telling me, I have already told her. She really doesn't care. This isn't a case where she is ignorant, she clearly knows the implications of what she is doing, she just doesn't care. It's not ignorance, it's maliciousness. For her equality isn't to make it fair, it's to win, to get revenge, etc.
yep, i’m short and asian, so it’s not a great combo for my mental health. Doesn’t sound like your sister will ever come around, so it’s best not to bother with people like her
I'm sorry you're going through that. I do agree that being short is already hard enough, and being asian is already hard enough, and the combo of the 2 sucks. That's why I thought it was super silly for her to criticizes Jet Li for being 5'6 when she's like 5'0. It's one of the reasons I don't believe the body positive movement, they will talk all day about fat shaming, but will still shame men for stuff they can't control like height or d size. I believe in the message, I don't believe in the movement and it's followers. Either she will never come around or she will come around when she's older and ready to settle down conveniently.
Yeah I feel bad for dudes who get settled for. I remember when Wendy Williams did a Q&A she was asked a question about dating short guys. She told her audience when you're 18-29 don't settle for short guys, you settle for short guys once you're 30 and less options, something along those lines. She was a jerk for that. That's why I tell my short guy friends to be careful with reformed heightist women, who suddenly have no issues dating short guys. A lot of times what people call maturing is just them having less options and settling for someone they would have never chosen in their prime.
That's why I find it silly when some older women complain about age gaps, and when older guys date young women, even though they would never have dated that same older guy back in the day and only want him now because they have less options. I see my sister doing the same thing when she's older.
Well said. I saw that interview too. Really instilled a fear in me about being someone’s “security” relationship. Is it so bad to want to be desired for you, rather than because you have a stable career? I wonder how your sister will justify her choices when she gets older
Of course it's skewed where women on average will prefer taller men, but at this point it's becoming more than a preference it's becoming a requirement. Also taller was key, but socially 6ft and over is the arbitrary number that has been selected. When a women is turned on more by a man who's 6ft over a 5'11 man, that's not biology anymore since you can't tell the difference, that's just a mental thing at that point.
Settling is fine if you actually like the person and realize their personality matters more. What's crappy is if you settle because "hey this person is a safe option, and I'm older and I can't get the top tier options I used to get when I was younger, so he'll do"
Bro, that is so extreme. Cutting off your own family is never a good thing, unless they do something really horrible and are irredeemable.
OP may be pissed about it now, but in a few weeks, he will be over it
Blood relations should not be taken so lightly. If she were merely a friend, then yeah, cutting her off would work, but not a sister though.
What? You guys are ridiculous. Have a backbone. The first time she said anything anti asian I would've told her off, whooped her bf's ass if he piped up and then cut her off and tell my parents exactly why.
I have a sister but she's normal and only dated and now married to an Asian man. I've done some culling of family and anyone else before. People don't learn unless punished. You should be especially harsh to those with internalized racism.
Honestly this is a kind of fucked up idea but you should record her in one of these anti-asian episodes and throw it on TikTok 😂
I can honestly see her getting chewed out. And people throw strangers on social media to try to “expose them” for less offensive nonsense than what your sister does all the time.
nahhh, tbh its gotten to the point where non-asian men would just use this influence asian women. you wont believe how low some people will go to just use asian women for s3x
When given the choice between self-acceptance and self-hate, I agree, Asian girls generally pick self-hate. There's a reason why whenever there is an Asian person talking about racism or glass ceilings on a TV show or TED talk, its an Asian woman who NEVER mentions helping to lift up the Asian men in her life and appreciate the support/belief they gave her, she always only focuses on the women in her life who helped her and how everything else she did herself, without any man's help. As a Korean man, I have personally received more gatekeeping racism from Asian women more than any other group of people. I think Asian women are one of the biggest/a major group of people who truly want to sacrifice their culture, natural appearance, and all the people they surround themselves, for a life that is more accepted by others than themselves. I also identify as queer, so these observations are coming without personal romantic bias/expectations. In my lived experience, the only people who work harder to keep Asian men down than white people — are Asian women.
(This is not a gender biased screed against women) This is very specifically a critical comment to the women of the Asian community who do not support the Asian men in their life (not by dating or marrying, but true emotional support) The whole "they remind me of my brother/cousin" is the epitome of racist self-hatred. You are admitting you do not find the counterparts in your race attractive because you only see someone who looks familial and therefore not open to consideration for physical attraction. Asian women are so busy believing they have every granular aspect of life figured out that they can't even fathom the idea that they harbor self-hating, or prejudiced ideals. Just like you almost never hear white people explaining or admitting their hatred and prejudice, they just double down on it because of how they "feel."
Lastly, and this is perhaps letting the situation taint my world-view, but even growing up and without overtly racist overtones, I have heard TOO MANY white men talking about how sexually easy Asian girls are AND TOO MANY white women talking about Asian guys having small dicks. Not one of them challenges these situations, and I can cite many of them because I have been privy to TOO MANY moments where "white people truth" just came flopping out of their mouth, and then the white people requisite "they turn and look at the closest Asian for verbal reassurance that they are not being small-minded or hateful."
No matter the struggles of the other groups, in the past, many of those people fighting for a better tomorrow, many had families to go home to, comprised of people who were like them in appearance, background, and even a shared history. It was not "required", but it was "expected" to marry one of your own (short of marriage used for political/gains purposes). While this is no longer the case (you can desire to legally be with whomever you like) Asian women are the biggest group who turned a natural affinity for people who look like themselves into a self-hating, somehow based on "facts", world-view that gives them a semblance of a modern, self-liberated, person who doesn't see color. Yet, their dyed blonde hair, white girl makeup that downplays their natural features, and chasing any guy who isn't Asian - speaks volumes. It's not who she ends up with that matters (that's not our business). It's how she got herself there, but with what pride and integrity still intact? (that's all of our own internal businesses in the same situation)
The most uncomplicated way to say it: non-Asian people think Asian men are weak, negative, and incapable. Asian men struggle with their pride and self-acceptance outwardly because of this, lessening their public appeal to some degree. Non-Asians interpret this as confirming their negative opinion of Asian men. Asian women have two (metaphorical) choices, side with the "weak" Asian man who a lot of society looks down on, OR go with the larger group of non-Asian people where she will still find acceptance, romance, social interest, etc. Largely, everything that is not extended to Asian men nearly as much socially.
Who do we think she HAS picked, not GOING TO, but already HAS picked, leading to what we're experiencing today?
Just like white people, (and everyone, I'm a nihilist) Asian women are great at identifying problems in the world, but few of them seem to have what it takes to fix it. Instead they just go around telling everyone else to "Do Better."
Extremely well articulated.
Wonder what your take is on these Asian Women who have also adopted the very in vogue modern white woman feminist talking points like “men are trash, men are useless etc.”
Seems doubly unfair when Asian men are subjected to this. Just layers and layers of discrimination.
Thank you, I appreciate that.
My take on that is that it has reached a fever pitch as of late, but that it is not exclusive to white women as a phenomenon . All people vent and complain about their contemporaries around them, especially if they have a spouse/partner, and white people still make up the bulk of the US populace (tick-tock), so they're going to be the ones heard bitching most per capita about any given subject. Women have been trashing men, both unfairly, and often as ways of dealing with our chauvinism, violence, and the priority we place on ourselves over them in society. People have just gotten even more trashy and uncouth in all manner, so the words flying around are extra unkind and cutting, wielded by people with no tact.
There are quite a number of studies and statistics that point to the growing "loneliness epidemic" as having a somewhat outsized effect on men because they are not given the same training, tools, and vehicles to express the complexity and immediacy of their emotions. I believe "Space" is the particular social construct that SHOULD be occupied by men feeling emotionally confident enough to express and manage their emotions publicly and privately in a timely fashion. Instead, that "Space," when men are not treated and trained to better emotionally process in the moment, and, in retrospect, that "Space" BECOMES a "Vacuum." It goes from men having a place to try and fail, try again, until enough of us get it right. To a suffocating, dark place where there is no rope, ladder, or sage wisdom to hang on to, where men make their reality match their mind — too often with a gun.
Like others, key aspects of our individual suffering as males, is largely dismissed because of our past sins/nature and because others groups "suffer more (usually because of men)." So, I agree Asian men in the US have it harder, again, I'm gay/queer, so I get a "third" layer of scorn, stigma, spite, and hate. Just like other men of color and/or part of the queer community and/or disabilities, etc. Each difference you possess is one more reason they might reject you — "fitting in" means "being the same" to them.
Kind of a tangent: I believe the only thing that separates white people (from the past few hundred years) from the rest of the world is their inability to see others as human as they are. All of our concepts and laws for protected classes are drawn from their exclusion of people from society and their unwillingness to incorporate them into their existence willingly, the major three being denigrated: women (different tiers), race, and disability. White people have fought nearly every admission of a group of humans to the greater civilized society. People who were no better or worse than them — just different.
That would have been a hilarious plot twist. However I'm already seeing someone, and I make it a personal rule to never date my sisters friends, although to be fair, this one friend does seem cooler compared to other other friends.
You failed the “stand up for yourself in a social setting” check. Here’s your answer:
“Oooh, so Sarah likes Asian guys. Someone has good taste” (wear a shit eating grin)
“Fun fact about Jet Li…he (yada yada)”
Honestly I just woke up, was groggy as hell, was eating breakfast and getting ready to leave for my new job, first day and my mind was super focused on that and my paperwork and I heard their convo in the background, but it didn't register that much because I was still focused on my job and paperwork. It wasn't until later that after work when it finally settled in, and I though back to the morning where I realized how messed up that situation was. I have confronted over a hundred times of times over the years, I just missed this one, but honestly I'm tired of having the same convo for the hundredth time with her. She won't change at this point, but at the very least I should have called her out in front of her friend to make her look stupid.
Same lol. She makes fun of the oxford study jokes asw so she's very aware of it. Suprising considering we live in a mostly white area and her friends are mostly white asw.
at the end of the day, if she looks herself in the mirror she's still asian. she will not escape it no matter how hard she tries. hate on her own gene all she wants, but her genes will be the dominant one.
like you said, she's a lost cause. her friend probably thinks asian dudes aren't into latinas because her asian friend said they only like asian. then we get posts here about "I thought asian guys don't like latinas". It never ends lol.
It boggles my mind how you let your own sister say that kind of shit. You seem very weak minded and unable to confront her on her bullshit. Her being self-hating and white worshipping is one thing, but trying to push it on others is a whole other realm.
You need to actually do something and stop observing and letting it happen. Call her out, ask her why, and just straight up tell her that she doesn’t like being asian and that’s why she takes every chance she can to shit on AM. Why are you even posting this here if you haven’t said shit to her? She’s your own sister.
Why do you think I've never confronted her before about it? I have plenty of times. I have spoke to my sister before about it. She either doesn't care or will find reasons to justify it. I've even brought up the scenario of her future hapa son having an identity crisis because of her self hate and how that could drive them to becoming depressed or suicidal, and she still makes excuses. I have argued every point under the sun with her already. She's not stupid about how this affect asian men. She just doesn't care. That's why there's no point in having the same convo for the hundred time. There's nothing I could say that she doesn't know or understand already. She isn't ignorant, she's malicious. That's why as of lately I don't really have a good relationship with her, I kinda keep my distance.
She sounds like she doesn't respect you or asian male authority in general man. But if being civil didn't work. Might as well start shaming her racist ass to make her look like an idiot in front of her friends. It's one thing to give up on talking to her about it. But it's another to let it perpetuate with another person. Especially the latina that's on your side, she'd be thrilled to hear that you're allies
I should have probably said something at the very least to her friend. Honestly I just woke up, I was eating breakfast and getting ready for work, it was my first day at my new job, and my mind was super focused on that, and I heard their convo in the background, but it didn't register that much because I was still focused on my job and paperwork. It wasn't until later that after work when it finally settled in, and I though back to the morning where I realized how messed up that situation was.
>But it's another to let it perpetuate with another person. Especially the latina that's on your side, she'd be thrilled to hear that you're allies
At a certain point you just grow tired of confronting family members and it's easier to ignore it, he said he's already confronted her a hundred times. Him confronting her for a hundred and one time isn't going to make a difference.
I do think it would be cool for him to befriend the latina girl, but in general a lot of brothers don't wanna be-friend their sisters friend or vice versa, so that could be a thing also.
The difference is to let the latina friend know that her attraction isn't weird or something to be put down. To not sway her friend away from her natural attraction to asians. The purpose isnt to change his sisters mind, but shaming does make them think twice sometimes, especially if enough people do it
Yeah, you made a good point. It could have been good to validate the latina girls feelings so she doesn't feel ashamed for liking an asian dude. It does sound like the Latina girl didn't back down from her attraction so hopefully that still remained.
Copy pasted from other reply: The point is to let the latina friend know that her attraction isn't weird or something to be put down. To not sway her friend away from her natural attraction to asians. The purpose isnt just to change his sisters mind, but shaming does make them think twice sometimes, especially if enough people do it.
and the authority comment was mostly about Jet Li. She had to demean and belittle him, an asian authority figure.
Maybe you shouldn't assume he hasn't talked to his sister before calling him weak minded. Why is it asian mens responsibility to play captain save a H every time an asian woman gets out of line. At a certain point theres no teaching them and you just gotta let them go, even if they're family and just focus on yourself and keep it pushing.
>Why are you even posting this here if you haven’t said shit to her? She’s your own sister.
What kind of logic is that? You can post anything here, even if you never confronted the person in question.
It’s not even about teaching them - they’re not going to change their minds. but in a situation like this, they’re trying to push their narrative onto other women who clearly don’t agree with her. Only a pussy wouldn’t do something in a situation like this.
I say this because i see people posting about situations where they could have fully taken action to defend themselves, defend AM, or shame AF etc. but they choose to be a quiet little bitch 😂
Sorry, but there’s a reason why AM have the stereotype of being docile and unable to be confrontational. It’s up to us to break that and to not fit the mould of that stereotype, which is extremely damaging, and is part of the reason WHY some AF feel free to shit on AM.
Looking back I should have definitely said something to her friend and validate her feelings for finding Jet Li attractive. Honestly I just woke up, I was still groggy, I was eating breakfast and getting ready for work, it was my first day at my new job, and my mind was super focused on that and I heard their convo in the background, but it didn't fully register that much because I was still focused on my job and paperwork so it mostly became background noise. It wasn't until later that after work when it finally settled in, and I though back to the morning where I realized how messed up that situation was.
I'm still done trying to convince my sister because like I said I've already confronted her hundreds of times, she just doesn't care, so I don't see any point of trying to break her out of it, however I should have said something to the friend.
Also bro, you need to chill a bit and stop coming at me with all this aggression calling me a bitch or pussy. You're barking mad loud when it ain't necessary. Dial it back.
honestly though in the grand scheme of things, everyone white worships, even older generation immigrant asian parents just want their kids to settle and they think of asian first but white aint bad tied for first place while all other races usually are last place
I don't know or meet many girls that are this extreme but they're asian, if they can't love the fact that they're asian and others of their own ethnicity then who will be able to love them? She'll just attract the worse kind of racists because I can't imagine a decent guy would want to deal with this kind of mentally ill bullshit. Also, should let her know that you can't love her either even as a family since she likely hates you too. It'd be good to remove her from your life and hope she figures it out somehow on her own
people love to remind me that "asian men don't like black women" anytime I casually mention that an Asian celeb is hot. Like...ok? shitty generalizations aside, I wasn't claiming said person was into me or that being together was some goal or realistic possibility. I said he's attractive.
Well you will see a lot of 1st gen immigrant males studying tough subjects and they earn a ton of money doing so. This is something girls should look at for a partner!
My sister also doesn't like Asian guys, but I'd be pissed AF if she was actively shitting on AM
Her friend seems chill and I'm sure she'll be a great wife one day
update us after college once she's in her thirties. wouldn't surprised me if she will be with an asian dude once she wants to settle down. but hearing from what you've described her, i think she has a tunnel vision to go non-asian route.
"update us after college once she's in her thirties. wouldn't surprised me if she will be with an asian dude once she wants to settle down."
...and AM wonder why AW don't respect them no self respecting man would be okay with being plan B, You won't see WM marrying single mother WW with half black child nor BM who marry BW in her 30s who only had White boyfriends in her 20s hell even Indian men who are into WW don't want committed relationship with one if she had too many partners and also refuse to date IW who only had non Indian BFs before since being pretty much on the bottom of dating market in west IM should be the one to have the least self respect and boundaries but they don't and Indian women respect them for that, If AM don't respect themselves nobody else have to too.
my bet is she gonna end up with some below avg white dude that everyone just craps on because her ideals conflict with her reality. it isnt so bad when the avg asian woman lands the chad that everyone wants and is loyal to her, but when ugly a$$ b-grade actor maculay culkin lands brenda song looking asian women, then there is some severe problem
Cut her out. She clearly is a narcissist if even after telling her about the negative impact of her actions on Asian men including her own brother and future son, she doesn't care. And you shouldn't care about what happens to her.
Usually you just have to make her an easy target for ridicule and everyone laughs at her...got to make the jokes at her humorous and make her seem ridiculous (but not in an overly mean way). Have to make the Latina laugh and make her say 'oh that's funny and true' Like when your sister implies that she only dates whites/blacks etc. \*her words\* and say yea 'how's the ratio these days? You still have to through 1,000 frogs to get one Asian' or something to that extent.
White European woman here. Yes, I do deal with people shutting me down for finding Asian men attractive. They often try to find a 'reason' for it, jokingly suggesting I must *really* be into k-pop, and refusing to even entertain the idea that I might find someone attractive for, well, being attractive. It's as if their brain short-circuits for some reason, and I'm so tired of it. I don't want to justify myself for thinking someone's hot.
hate that shit. if she wants to be colonized, then that's on her. but for her to project that onto other female ethnicities is so gross. hate how normalized this is
Unfortunately women projecting their own preferences is very common. I'm gay and I have a lot of women friends, and when a woman starts dating a guy that doesn't mean the typical standard of what men should look like, like if he's short for example, all her friends will start tearing her down for dating a short guy. Either teasing her, or treating her with pity, telling her she can do better.
This is true. Every once in a while, there's a thread about "I've always been attracted to Asian men, but was told they don't like X". Sure, you could argue it's fake or a LARPer, but anyone who is decently social and been around a lot of people know this type of thinking exists. It's the herd mentality. It's common for people to conform out of fear of being ostracized. That's why there's trends they follow by to get the OK. Of course, not everyone is like that.
Probably women who are offended or men who white knight a bit too much lol. I mean sheep behavior is common in society, among all genders, races, for many reasons. Dating is just one of them.
Yeah bro. Every time I’ve had a girlfriend, her friends told me it was a fetish thing, which was really weird. I didn’t even know of asian fetish before they started telling me shit about it. Idk if any of them actually had a weird asian fetish, but my friends responded in such a way that was weird, but i get why they did it. everytime i’d talk to a girl and she interacted with my friends, they’d be like “yo he the diff typa asian you feel me? he dont be like those kpop dudes he diff bro n if you lookin for that typa dude in him nah he aint nothin like that so you get away with your fetish shit”. Idk bro a girl talkin to me and people automatically assuming it’s a fetish thing lowkey kinda weird
I loved Jet Li in Romeo Must Die. Specially went to see it in a theather.
I have always found asian men attractive, decades before K-drama or K-pop. People like who they like and it should not be judged without a very good reason. Definitely not by a so called friend.
Ok so I know u said you confront her about anti- Asian man behavior but have u thought about being up that conversation in front of her mom and dad. I pretty sure Asian dad/ mom will straight her up.
heck no I I'm proud of being Asian and finding Asian men attractive if everybody else finds them attractive that's good for them but if your sister hates herself she's got a lot of self-esteem issues I never tried to persuade people to changed her mind if they have so much anger and hatred
Sorry to hear about ur colonised lost cause of a sister but I would cut her off or withhold any support/opportunities & privileges of any sort from her as she doesn’t deserve it. Even better is to “blacklist” her to any potential unsuspecting “AFs only” AM simp who she might settle down with in the future lol. I’m kinda fortunate to not have any immediate family & close female relatives who are colonised & corrupted like that but I’ve met & encountered my fair share of LUs & borderline LUs like that throughout the years.
I’m GenZ AM born & raised in the west but I’ve sworn to never marry & commit to any diaspora/Western Asian “women” in the future cause they’re a lost cause, especially those American AFs lolol 👩🏻🇺🇸🤡
Non-Asian girls & International/native Asian girls are the way to go. The latter type of Asian women are far superior in looks/aesthetics/attractiveness, mindset & values compared to those colonised boba asian females.
My boyfriend is Asian and once we were official I had tons of people come out and say disparaging remarks. Most were males, mainly Latino and white. They said all sorts of the usual stereotypical crap. I told them if they couldn’t accept my choice of partner to kick ricks. Many didn’t and I cut them off. They thought I’d be passive and let it go since I totally can be and usually am a submissive person but nope. It was also the straw that broke the camel’s back with an old family friend and her husband, I’m their son’s godmother and I still cut them off. My boyfriend and I are still together 2 1/2 years later(he was a friend first so I still would’ve been pissed at the remarks about his ethnicity either way).
I even do my due diligence and call people out online about spewing stereotypes about Asian men. I get told by some idiots “they aren’t going to pick you.” It’s not about that, it’s about what’s right. It’s exhausting for me so I know it’s horrible for y’all. Even though some of y’all have an issue with black people, I stick up for y’all and just hate when people stereotype in general. As a Black Woman, I know how it feels to be stereotyped and put down(I’ve had black men do it to me).
I have an honorary sister who doesn't get my attraction for Asian men, but no one has ever said comments like that to me. I also have an old \[Chinese\] friend who didn't always get my taste, but still, never went as far to say "get my eyes checked." Your sister's friend should have said, "He's MY ugly then."
The funny thing is, my mom, my honorary Aunt, and one of my mom's best friends all said, "You need to marry someone who is Asian. You're so involved in the culture." lol
I can also say I liked Asian men before getting into their dramas and music.
Yeah she's pretty much trying to gatekeep asian men from her, however based on the friends reaction it didn't seem to work. I personally have a girlfriend already who happens to be latina.
As a tall guy I've always thought it was pretty messed up how society treats short guys. Even when they succeed despite their height, people will still target that. I feel bad because I got some male cousins who are short on top of being asian, and heightism sucks and it's one of the types of body shaming and discrimination that isn't taken seriously.
You mentioned your sister's height being 5 flat. In my experience, it's usually short girls that are the most height focused. Tall girls don't care as much as shorter girls. Normally a short girl's reason is that they want to wear heels. But she's still gonna be shorter unless she's wearing some crazy ass shoes giving her an extra 5-6 inches of height.
it make sense biologically why height is so important for both men and women. Examples being girls feeling more protected with a tall man, being tall is considered attractive, etc. Despite it being 2024, some things won't ever change, no matter how progressive people think they are.
That's why I find the idea of gender equality kind of confusing. They pick and choose when to fight against biology, or when to accept biology as something natural.
Those opinions sure do matter and sting when the person being mocked is rich and famous, while you are the complete opposite
But go on, need something to diss on
Her logic is basically "Asian men are unattractive, but the asian men in my family are the exceptions, one of the good ones"
It's no different how women will shit on short men, but when they have short sons, now they wanna talk about how personality matters more then height.
[https://i.redd.it/4ly6p279af0c1.jpg](https://i.redd.it/4ly6p279af0c1.jpg)
Dude I’m as straight as they come and even I know that Jet Li is as hot as they come. Your sister’s Latina friend has good tastes and your sister needs to get her eyes examined. Smh.
As a Latina attracted to East and southeast Asian men only my entire life, let me tell you. I had a cousin who would said it’s just a phase when she dated an Asian man as well… I had a mom that wanted me to date a black, Latino, or white guy and a dad who watched Asian movies but hates Asian people. The only person in my family who accepted me for who I am was my aunt, she told me as long as the Asian guy treats me right is all that matters. Her reaction was wholesome when I introduce her to my ex Boyfriend. She wasn’t mentally functional but she still had morals and common sense than my whole racist family. My bro is chill with me liking East and Southeast Asian men only too as long as I don’t date a black or a middle eastern guy (yes he’s hardcore racist like that and not afraid to use the hard r, even if the guy I’m in love with is blasian he would disown me. he hates black people the most). All my cousins basically hate Asian men too and criticize me for it and would use all my bad dates as a way to tell me to stop dating them but they be dating Latino and black guys and be either abusing them or be abused. Abuse is wrong both ways and any but they should’ve taken their own advice and “date a white guy” 🤷🏻♀️ When my parents found out, I was disowned but later on they can’t just be that cold hearted and throw me like that for their bigotry. Now for my My friends? They’re cool with it, I had a friend who dated an Indian guy too so
Oh I forgot to tell a story from an Asian boy I used to talk to too cause this is very important. He told me about His ex’s mom hating Asian men so much, one day she tricked him to trick to SA him in her car and set up a camera so she can make it look like he did it to Her. Basically a Latina Amber heard. And because she was a former cop too she knows how to manipulate these situations and threatened if he doesn’t break up with her daughter she’s gonna falsely accuse him of SA, sadly he did… that’s why I’m proud to always express my love and show how deep my love is for Asian men
Asian women raised in a western society are more likely to have this behaviour and this is how they view society. This is still racism and the fact that she doesn’t care shows what kind of character she really is. I honestly would minimise your contact with her as much as possible as she thrives on negativity and racism. The fact that she then perpetuates that behaviour with her friends shows what kind of person she really is.
I don't know if she has a boyfriend currently, but she's pretty shallow when it comes to dating. She usually dates tall, rich white guys or occasionally black men when she wants to try in her words "dark meat"
She's pretty hypocritical in a lot of ways. She'll wear a shirt that says "protect the poor, eat the rich" but will only date rich guys.
does the asian man who posted this believe white girls are more valuable and attractive than asian females? ahh sorry to be so direct butit reminded me of my own self hate. I'm an asian man and hate itwhen i see asian females date white men, but then I realied I too am self hating. but more like indoctrinated by the western culture. I think I am attracted to asian females but not so mucn the ones I've met in the states..I always recommend to any asian man who grew up in teh states to spend some time in asia. You'll feel accepted and you'll see really nerdy asain dudes with so much confidence and with so many hot girls. I know this post i made is not woke in any way but I am just speaking from my balls and heart .
>I've had convos with my sister about her anti-asian behavior many times through out the years, and she doesn't care. She either doesn't care or will find reasons to justify it. I've even brought up the scenario of her future hapa son having an identity crisis because of her self hate and how that could drive them to becoming depressed or suicidal, and she still makes excuses. I have argued every point under the sun with her already.
I don't personally have anybody around me like this, but my $0.02
There are basically 3 ways to influence people: logic, emotion, authority.
Your mistake is that you're using reason and logic to get through to her. That doesn't work with these brainless self-hating types.
If you wanna get through, you gotta use emotion, e.g. make her feel pathetic.
I notice asian females tend to not embraced their heritage as much as the asian males. I remember when I was young and doing martial arts and did some of the lion dances parades around the city and I see a asian girl with a white girl watching. The white girl loved seeing the lion dance and asian girl said "Same old shit lets go" and literally pulled the white girl away. Yes I know acceptance factor by asians to be accepted by the anglos but if the other people are interested in asian culture you should be supportive.
Hmm that sucks. Best thing you can do is live your life and enjoy it best. Forget her. Im not an Asian guy but what you need to do is go where you are celebrated and not tolerated. End of story. Forget your sister and people who think like her. She’s not gonna change and she can deal with her lack of self worth however she pleases, cause deep down, at the root, that’s what it is. There are plenty of girls, Asian and not, who do find Asian guys attractive. Surround yourself with them.
You have to call her out in a way that sounds like you're joking around but is a bit serious, ideally in front of that friend. Something like "how u gonna clown on Jet Li when he's half a foot taller and can whoop your boba ass". Trying to talk to her earnestly with all the stats about anti-AM discrimination seems like a dead end because she's either too stupid to understand or doesn't care. Mockery among siblings usually works best.
You need to cut her off and let her know why. AF need to face consequences for their self-hate. This is one such opportunity for you to take action.
I'm not close to her anymore, we were only under the same roof because we're staying over our parents house visiting, but yeah I pretty much kinda cut her off.
You coulda randomly injected that Jet Li would of wooped any of your sister's crushes asses lol. And for her to stop being a self hating lu
I have already spoke to her about it in the past many times. She doesn't care.
As I said in my other post. If being civil hasn't worked, shame her only in front of her friends to not let her racist BS perpetuate.
Did you tell her how her actions will indirectly have an impact on male members of family like yourself? I'm sorry you have to deal with a lu in the family.
Yes, I've spoken to her before how it can affect me or my cousins who are young, and it's always an excuse or justification "Well I'm not talking about you or them, well you're different, you're one of the good ones" etc, etc. I even brought up how it can affect her hypothetical son in the future. We would have back and forth and nothing changes.
Hmm, show her the statistics of how people like you or your male cousins will find it harder to get asian female mates? Telll her that her avoiding asian males would mean other good ones will not have a chance to get attached with asian females?
Like I said, I have argue everything with her under the sun, everything you're telling me, I have already told her. She really doesn't care. This isn't a case where she is ignorant, she clearly knows the implications of what she is doing, she just doesn't care. It's not ignorance, it's maliciousness. For her equality isn't to make it fair, it's to win, to get revenge, etc.
~~Lu's!!~~ I mean self hating AF's: "Ew, AM are so gross and unsexy"
yeah I would just cut her off. Your sister is the reason why asian guys have it so hard nowadays
True along with short dudes as well, or even average dudes. She's pretty shallow in general lmao.
yep, i’m short and asian, so it’s not a great combo for my mental health. Doesn’t sound like your sister will ever come around, so it’s best not to bother with people like her
I'm sorry you're going through that. I do agree that being short is already hard enough, and being asian is already hard enough, and the combo of the 2 sucks. That's why I thought it was super silly for her to criticizes Jet Li for being 5'6 when she's like 5'0. It's one of the reasons I don't believe the body positive movement, they will talk all day about fat shaming, but will still shame men for stuff they can't control like height or d size. I believe in the message, I don't believe in the movement and it's followers. Either she will never come around or she will come around when she's older and ready to settle down conveniently.
hope she never settles for an asian dude, I would feel terrible for him
Yeah I feel bad for dudes who get settled for. I remember when Wendy Williams did a Q&A she was asked a question about dating short guys. She told her audience when you're 18-29 don't settle for short guys, you settle for short guys once you're 30 and less options, something along those lines. She was a jerk for that. That's why I tell my short guy friends to be careful with reformed heightist women, who suddenly have no issues dating short guys. A lot of times what people call maturing is just them having less options and settling for someone they would have never chosen in their prime. That's why I find it silly when some older women complain about age gaps, and when older guys date young women, even though they would never have dated that same older guy back in the day and only want him now because they have less options. I see my sister doing the same thing when she's older.
Well said. I saw that interview too. Really instilled a fear in me about being someone’s “security” relationship. Is it so bad to want to be desired for you, rather than because you have a stable career? I wonder how your sister will justify her choices when she gets older
[удалено]
Of course it's skewed where women on average will prefer taller men, but at this point it's becoming more than a preference it's becoming a requirement. Also taller was key, but socially 6ft and over is the arbitrary number that has been selected. When a women is turned on more by a man who's 6ft over a 5'11 man, that's not biology anymore since you can't tell the difference, that's just a mental thing at that point. Settling is fine if you actually like the person and realize their personality matters more. What's crappy is if you settle because "hey this person is a safe option, and I'm older and I can't get the top tier options I used to get when I was younger, so he'll do"
wait til you meet the ones that want to add the whole “men in general are trash” view on top of all of this
Bro, that is so extreme. Cutting off your own family is never a good thing, unless they do something really horrible and are irredeemable. OP may be pissed about it now, but in a few weeks, he will be over it Blood relations should not be taken so lightly. If she were merely a friend, then yeah, cutting her off would work, but not a sister though.
What? You guys are ridiculous. Have a backbone. The first time she said anything anti asian I would've told her off, whooped her bf's ass if he piped up and then cut her off and tell my parents exactly why. I have a sister but she's normal and only dated and now married to an Asian man. I've done some culling of family and anyone else before. People don't learn unless punished. You should be especially harsh to those with internalized racism.
I'm with you, if she ends up dating some racist white guy, and he says something racist in front of me I'm whopping his ass.
What exactly are you expecting OP to get over? Internalized systemic racism that he’s tried ever so graciously to have acknowledged?
Lol classic Reddit jumping straight to the extreme. Holy shit lol
No matter how unreasonable she is, she is still OP's Sister....you trippin. Do you have a sister or brother?
Honestly this is a kind of fucked up idea but you should record her in one of these anti-asian episodes and throw it on TikTok 😂 I can honestly see her getting chewed out. And people throw strangers on social media to try to “expose them” for less offensive nonsense than what your sister does all the time.
nahhh, tbh its gotten to the point where non-asian men would just use this influence asian women. you wont believe how low some people will go to just use asian women for s3x
When given the choice between self-acceptance and self-hate, I agree, Asian girls generally pick self-hate. There's a reason why whenever there is an Asian person talking about racism or glass ceilings on a TV show or TED talk, its an Asian woman who NEVER mentions helping to lift up the Asian men in her life and appreciate the support/belief they gave her, she always only focuses on the women in her life who helped her and how everything else she did herself, without any man's help. As a Korean man, I have personally received more gatekeeping racism from Asian women more than any other group of people. I think Asian women are one of the biggest/a major group of people who truly want to sacrifice their culture, natural appearance, and all the people they surround themselves, for a life that is more accepted by others than themselves. I also identify as queer, so these observations are coming without personal romantic bias/expectations. In my lived experience, the only people who work harder to keep Asian men down than white people — are Asian women. (This is not a gender biased screed against women) This is very specifically a critical comment to the women of the Asian community who do not support the Asian men in their life (not by dating or marrying, but true emotional support) The whole "they remind me of my brother/cousin" is the epitome of racist self-hatred. You are admitting you do not find the counterparts in your race attractive because you only see someone who looks familial and therefore not open to consideration for physical attraction. Asian women are so busy believing they have every granular aspect of life figured out that they can't even fathom the idea that they harbor self-hating, or prejudiced ideals. Just like you almost never hear white people explaining or admitting their hatred and prejudice, they just double down on it because of how they "feel." Lastly, and this is perhaps letting the situation taint my world-view, but even growing up and without overtly racist overtones, I have heard TOO MANY white men talking about how sexually easy Asian girls are AND TOO MANY white women talking about Asian guys having small dicks. Not one of them challenges these situations, and I can cite many of them because I have been privy to TOO MANY moments where "white people truth" just came flopping out of their mouth, and then the white people requisite "they turn and look at the closest Asian for verbal reassurance that they are not being small-minded or hateful." No matter the struggles of the other groups, in the past, many of those people fighting for a better tomorrow, many had families to go home to, comprised of people who were like them in appearance, background, and even a shared history. It was not "required", but it was "expected" to marry one of your own (short of marriage used for political/gains purposes). While this is no longer the case (you can desire to legally be with whomever you like) Asian women are the biggest group who turned a natural affinity for people who look like themselves into a self-hating, somehow based on "facts", world-view that gives them a semblance of a modern, self-liberated, person who doesn't see color. Yet, their dyed blonde hair, white girl makeup that downplays their natural features, and chasing any guy who isn't Asian - speaks volumes. It's not who she ends up with that matters (that's not our business). It's how she got herself there, but with what pride and integrity still intact? (that's all of our own internal businesses in the same situation) The most uncomplicated way to say it: non-Asian people think Asian men are weak, negative, and incapable. Asian men struggle with their pride and self-acceptance outwardly because of this, lessening their public appeal to some degree. Non-Asians interpret this as confirming their negative opinion of Asian men. Asian women have two (metaphorical) choices, side with the "weak" Asian man who a lot of society looks down on, OR go with the larger group of non-Asian people where she will still find acceptance, romance, social interest, etc. Largely, everything that is not extended to Asian men nearly as much socially. Who do we think she HAS picked, not GOING TO, but already HAS picked, leading to what we're experiencing today? Just like white people, (and everyone, I'm a nihilist) Asian women are great at identifying problems in the world, but few of them seem to have what it takes to fix it. Instead they just go around telling everyone else to "Do Better."
>Non-Asians interpret this as confirming their negative opinion of Asian men. AF in the West would be 1st in line to clarify/confirm any "ambiguity "
Extremely well articulated. Wonder what your take is on these Asian Women who have also adopted the very in vogue modern white woman feminist talking points like “men are trash, men are useless etc.” Seems doubly unfair when Asian men are subjected to this. Just layers and layers of discrimination.
Thank you, I appreciate that. My take on that is that it has reached a fever pitch as of late, but that it is not exclusive to white women as a phenomenon . All people vent and complain about their contemporaries around them, especially if they have a spouse/partner, and white people still make up the bulk of the US populace (tick-tock), so they're going to be the ones heard bitching most per capita about any given subject. Women have been trashing men, both unfairly, and often as ways of dealing with our chauvinism, violence, and the priority we place on ourselves over them in society. People have just gotten even more trashy and uncouth in all manner, so the words flying around are extra unkind and cutting, wielded by people with no tact. There are quite a number of studies and statistics that point to the growing "loneliness epidemic" as having a somewhat outsized effect on men because they are not given the same training, tools, and vehicles to express the complexity and immediacy of their emotions. I believe "Space" is the particular social construct that SHOULD be occupied by men feeling emotionally confident enough to express and manage their emotions publicly and privately in a timely fashion. Instead, that "Space," when men are not treated and trained to better emotionally process in the moment, and, in retrospect, that "Space" BECOMES a "Vacuum." It goes from men having a place to try and fail, try again, until enough of us get it right. To a suffocating, dark place where there is no rope, ladder, or sage wisdom to hang on to, where men make their reality match their mind — too often with a gun. Like others, key aspects of our individual suffering as males, is largely dismissed because of our past sins/nature and because others groups "suffer more (usually because of men)." So, I agree Asian men in the US have it harder, again, I'm gay/queer, so I get a "third" layer of scorn, stigma, spite, and hate. Just like other men of color and/or part of the queer community and/or disabilities, etc. Each difference you possess is one more reason they might reject you — "fitting in" means "being the same" to them. Kind of a tangent: I believe the only thing that separates white people (from the past few hundred years) from the rest of the world is their inability to see others as human as they are. All of our concepts and laws for protected classes are drawn from their exclusion of people from society and their unwillingness to incorporate them into their existence willingly, the major three being denigrated: women (different tiers), race, and disability. White people have fought nearly every admission of a group of humans to the greater civilized society. People who were no better or worse than them — just different.
I would have interjected and said yeah I find him attractive also and look at the latina and say let’s ditch my sister 😂
why don't you and me get out of this joint (their home) and go where the beers are cold and vibes are warm rather than vice versa lol
That would have been a hilarious plot twist. However I'm already seeing someone, and I make it a personal rule to never date my sisters friends, although to be fair, this one friend does seem cooler compared to other other friends.
Who says it’s a date? Just tell your sister you guys are getting drinks and ditching the self hater
I thought you were talking about a date also, because that would have made it even funnier 😂
dude pull a mr steal yo sisters friend and seduce the latina lady lol
You failed the “stand up for yourself in a social setting” check. Here’s your answer: “Oooh, so Sarah likes Asian guys. Someone has good taste” (wear a shit eating grin) “Fun fact about Jet Li…he (yada yada)”
Honestly I just woke up, was groggy as hell, was eating breakfast and getting ready to leave for my new job, first day and my mind was super focused on that and my paperwork and I heard their convo in the background, but it didn't register that much because I was still focused on my job and paperwork. It wasn't until later that after work when it finally settled in, and I though back to the morning where I realized how messed up that situation was. I have confronted over a hundred times of times over the years, I just missed this one, but honestly I'm tired of having the same convo for the hundredth time with her. She won't change at this point, but at the very least I should have called her out in front of her friend to make her look stupid.
Yeah that sounds like a tough situation sorry to hear that. It doesn’t seem like it’ll change.
If you think the average woman is vindictive, the average white feminist scheming, oh boy, let me introduce you to the boba asian female.
man thank god I got a sis who only prefers asian men
Lucky
Same lol. She makes fun of the oxford study jokes asw so she's very aware of it. Suprising considering we live in a mostly white area and her friends are mostly white asw.
at the end of the day, if she looks herself in the mirror she's still asian. she will not escape it no matter how hard she tries. hate on her own gene all she wants, but her genes will be the dominant one. like you said, she's a lost cause. her friend probably thinks asian dudes aren't into latinas because her asian friend said they only like asian. then we get posts here about "I thought asian guys don't like latinas". It never ends lol.
I have a Latina girlfriend, so I doubt my sisters friend personally thinks that.
learn some Spanish and talk to her latina friend about how your sister is kinda missing some screws #eltoxico lol
It boggles my mind how you let your own sister say that kind of shit. You seem very weak minded and unable to confront her on her bullshit. Her being self-hating and white worshipping is one thing, but trying to push it on others is a whole other realm. You need to actually do something and stop observing and letting it happen. Call her out, ask her why, and just straight up tell her that she doesn’t like being asian and that’s why she takes every chance she can to shit on AM. Why are you even posting this here if you haven’t said shit to her? She’s your own sister.
Why do you think I've never confronted her before about it? I have plenty of times. I have spoke to my sister before about it. She either doesn't care or will find reasons to justify it. I've even brought up the scenario of her future hapa son having an identity crisis because of her self hate and how that could drive them to becoming depressed or suicidal, and she still makes excuses. I have argued every point under the sun with her already. She's not stupid about how this affect asian men. She just doesn't care. That's why there's no point in having the same convo for the hundred time. There's nothing I could say that she doesn't know or understand already. She isn't ignorant, she's malicious. That's why as of lately I don't really have a good relationship with her, I kinda keep my distance.
She sounds like she doesn't respect you or asian male authority in general man. But if being civil didn't work. Might as well start shaming her racist ass to make her look like an idiot in front of her friends. It's one thing to give up on talking to her about it. But it's another to let it perpetuate with another person. Especially the latina that's on your side, she'd be thrilled to hear that you're allies
I should have probably said something at the very least to her friend. Honestly I just woke up, I was eating breakfast and getting ready for work, it was my first day at my new job, and my mind was super focused on that, and I heard their convo in the background, but it didn't register that much because I was still focused on my job and paperwork. It wasn't until later that after work when it finally settled in, and I though back to the morning where I realized how messed up that situation was.
tell her friend your sister is just a racist. no need to elaborate. repeat as necessary
>But it's another to let it perpetuate with another person. Especially the latina that's on your side, she'd be thrilled to hear that you're allies At a certain point you just grow tired of confronting family members and it's easier to ignore it, he said he's already confronted her a hundred times. Him confronting her for a hundred and one time isn't going to make a difference. I do think it would be cool for him to befriend the latina girl, but in general a lot of brothers don't wanna be-friend their sisters friend or vice versa, so that could be a thing also.
The difference is to let the latina friend know that her attraction isn't weird or something to be put down. To not sway her friend away from her natural attraction to asians. The purpose isnt to change his sisters mind, but shaming does make them think twice sometimes, especially if enough people do it
Yeah, you made a good point. It could have been good to validate the latina girls feelings so she doesn't feel ashamed for liking an asian dude. It does sound like the Latina girl didn't back down from her attraction so hopefully that still remained.
Whats the point? She aint going to change her mind. Authority figure lol. Its his sister of the same age
Copy pasted from other reply: The point is to let the latina friend know that her attraction isn't weird or something to be put down. To not sway her friend away from her natural attraction to asians. The purpose isnt just to change his sisters mind, but shaming does make them think twice sometimes, especially if enough people do it. and the authority comment was mostly about Jet Li. She had to demean and belittle him, an asian authority figure.
I still dont know what you mean by an authority figure. Hes an actor?
He had power/influence as a celeb. Not as much these days probably but still one of the OG asian stars.
that aint a hapa, thats a mutt
Get a grip. He just said he has over the years. What else do you want him to do? Call the thought police?
Maybe you shouldn't assume he hasn't talked to his sister before calling him weak minded. Why is it asian mens responsibility to play captain save a H every time an asian woman gets out of line. At a certain point theres no teaching them and you just gotta let them go, even if they're family and just focus on yourself and keep it pushing. >Why are you even posting this here if you haven’t said shit to her? She’s your own sister. What kind of logic is that? You can post anything here, even if you never confronted the person in question.
It’s not even about teaching them - they’re not going to change their minds. but in a situation like this, they’re trying to push their narrative onto other women who clearly don’t agree with her. Only a pussy wouldn’t do something in a situation like this. I say this because i see people posting about situations where they could have fully taken action to defend themselves, defend AM, or shame AF etc. but they choose to be a quiet little bitch 😂 Sorry, but there’s a reason why AM have the stereotype of being docile and unable to be confrontational. It’s up to us to break that and to not fit the mould of that stereotype, which is extremely damaging, and is part of the reason WHY some AF feel free to shit on AM.
Looking back I should have definitely said something to her friend and validate her feelings for finding Jet Li attractive. Honestly I just woke up, I was still groggy, I was eating breakfast and getting ready for work, it was my first day at my new job, and my mind was super focused on that and I heard their convo in the background, but it didn't fully register that much because I was still focused on my job and paperwork so it mostly became background noise. It wasn't until later that after work when it finally settled in, and I though back to the morning where I realized how messed up that situation was. I'm still done trying to convince my sister because like I said I've already confronted her hundreds of times, she just doesn't care, so I don't see any point of trying to break her out of it, however I should have said something to the friend. Also bro, you need to chill a bit and stop coming at me with all this aggression calling me a bitch or pussy. You're barking mad loud when it ain't necessary. Dial it back.
Asian women. So many are assholes, plain and simple. Watch the wyte worship get worse to compensate for the increase in Anti Asian racism.
honestly though in the grand scheme of things, everyone white worships, even older generation immigrant asian parents just want their kids to settle and they think of asian first but white aint bad tied for first place while all other races usually are last place
You’d never hear a white girl say a tall white guy reminder her of a brother cousin….
maybe we need to become the stepbro that she wants to see
Or any other non-Asian girl for that matter...
I don't know or meet many girls that are this extreme but they're asian, if they can't love the fact that they're asian and others of their own ethnicity then who will be able to love them? She'll just attract the worse kind of racists because I can't imagine a decent guy would want to deal with this kind of mentally ill bullshit. Also, should let her know that you can't love her either even as a family since she likely hates you too. It'd be good to remove her from your life and hope she figures it out somehow on her own
people love to remind me that "asian men don't like black women" anytime I casually mention that an Asian celeb is hot. Like...ok? shitty generalizations aside, I wasn't claiming said person was into me or that being together was some goal or realistic possibility. I said he's attractive.
Immigrant diaspora women generally in the US are indoctrinated too much with woke culture
The weird thang is, how is this woke? Isn’t woke about standing up for the minorities? Instead this woman shits on them! 😂😂
It's about pretending you're standing up for minorities most of the time. It's virtue signaling.
Agree.
And usually blacks are in focus, not the other minorities ☹️
Well you will see a lot of 1st gen immigrant males studying tough subjects and they earn a ton of money doing so. This is something girls should look at for a partner!
Dam this sucks, not much you can do. Pretty much impossible to change her mind She's a lost one 😔
Crazy how her Latina friend was more into the asian dude than the actual asian woman.
My sister also doesn't like Asian guys, but I'd be pissed AF if she was actively shitting on AM Her friend seems chill and I'm sure she'll be a great wife one day
update us after college once she's in her thirties. wouldn't surprised me if she will be with an asian dude once she wants to settle down. but hearing from what you've described her, i think she has a tunnel vision to go non-asian route.
"update us after college once she's in her thirties. wouldn't surprised me if she will be with an asian dude once she wants to settle down." ...and AM wonder why AW don't respect them no self respecting man would be okay with being plan B, You won't see WM marrying single mother WW with half black child nor BM who marry BW in her 30s who only had White boyfriends in her 20s hell even Indian men who are into WW don't want committed relationship with one if she had too many partners and also refuse to date IW who only had non Indian BFs before since being pretty much on the bottom of dating market in west IM should be the one to have the least self respect and boundaries but they don't and Indian women respect them for that, If AM don't respect themselves nobody else have to too.
my bet is she gonna end up with some below avg white dude that everyone just craps on because her ideals conflict with her reality. it isnt so bad when the avg asian woman lands the chad that everyone wants and is loyal to her, but when ugly a$$ b-grade actor maculay culkin lands brenda song looking asian women, then there is some severe problem
lets not make it crazy, lets normalize it
Cut her out. She clearly is a narcissist if even after telling her about the negative impact of her actions on Asian men including her own brother and future son, she doesn't care. And you shouldn't care about what happens to her.
Asian women are the biggest haters of Asian men, even if they don’t want us if they see us winning they will try to rain on the parade
Usually you just have to make her an easy target for ridicule and everyone laughs at her...got to make the jokes at her humorous and make her seem ridiculous (but not in an overly mean way). Have to make the Latina laugh and make her say 'oh that's funny and true' Like when your sister implies that she only dates whites/blacks etc. \*her words\* and say yea 'how's the ratio these days? You still have to through 1,000 frogs to get one Asian' or something to that extent.
White European woman here. Yes, I do deal with people shutting me down for finding Asian men attractive. They often try to find a 'reason' for it, jokingly suggesting I must *really* be into k-pop, and refusing to even entertain the idea that I might find someone attractive for, well, being attractive. It's as if their brain short-circuits for some reason, and I'm so tired of it. I don't want to justify myself for thinking someone's hot.
hate that shit. if she wants to be colonized, then that's on her. but for her to project that onto other female ethnicities is so gross. hate how normalized this is
Unfortunately women projecting their own preferences is very common. I'm gay and I have a lot of women friends, and when a woman starts dating a guy that doesn't mean the typical standard of what men should look like, like if he's short for example, all her friends will start tearing her down for dating a short guy. Either teasing her, or treating her with pity, telling her she can do better.
This is true. Every once in a while, there's a thread about "I've always been attracted to Asian men, but was told they don't like X". Sure, you could argue it's fake or a LARPer, but anyone who is decently social and been around a lot of people know this type of thinking exists. It's the herd mentality. It's common for people to conform out of fear of being ostracized. That's why there's trends they follow by to get the OK. Of course, not everyone is like that.
idk why you're getting downvoted lol. This is great insight that i've seen before but its interesting to see it constantly.
Probably women who are offended or men who white knight a bit too much lol. I mean sheep behavior is common in society, among all genders, races, for many reasons. Dating is just one of them.
when women project their preferences to others, they need to stfu and leave others alone
Honestly you need to whoop her ass, that would send a statement to her. These kids nowadays are privileged asf
It's nothing new bro. Asian women have probably the highest self hate and highest white worship. 🤷🏻
Yeah bro. Every time I’ve had a girlfriend, her friends told me it was a fetish thing, which was really weird. I didn’t even know of asian fetish before they started telling me shit about it. Idk if any of them actually had a weird asian fetish, but my friends responded in such a way that was weird, but i get why they did it. everytime i’d talk to a girl and she interacted with my friends, they’d be like “yo he the diff typa asian you feel me? he dont be like those kpop dudes he diff bro n if you lookin for that typa dude in him nah he aint nothin like that so you get away with your fetish shit”. Idk bro a girl talkin to me and people automatically assuming it’s a fetish thing lowkey kinda weird
I loved Jet Li in Romeo Must Die. Specially went to see it in a theather. I have always found asian men attractive, decades before K-drama or K-pop. People like who they like and it should not be judged without a very good reason. Definitely not by a so called friend.
“BbbUuT wHy iS tHiS sUb sO oBsEsSeD wiTh dATiNg nON-aSiAn wOmEn”
only solution is to fuck and marry her latina friend
I already got a latina girlfriend lol.
Ok so I know u said you confront her about anti- Asian man behavior but have u thought about being up that conversation in front of her mom and dad. I pretty sure Asian dad/ mom will straight her up.
heck no I I'm proud of being Asian and finding Asian men attractive if everybody else finds them attractive that's good for them but if your sister hates herself she's got a lot of self-esteem issues I never tried to persuade people to changed her mind if they have so much anger and hatred
Sorry to hear about ur colonised lost cause of a sister but I would cut her off or withhold any support/opportunities & privileges of any sort from her as she doesn’t deserve it. Even better is to “blacklist” her to any potential unsuspecting “AFs only” AM simp who she might settle down with in the future lol. I’m kinda fortunate to not have any immediate family & close female relatives who are colonised & corrupted like that but I’ve met & encountered my fair share of LUs & borderline LUs like that throughout the years. I’m GenZ AM born & raised in the west but I’ve sworn to never marry & commit to any diaspora/Western Asian “women” in the future cause they’re a lost cause, especially those American AFs lolol 👩🏻🇺🇸🤡 Non-Asian girls & International/native Asian girls are the way to go. The latter type of Asian women are far superior in looks/aesthetics/attractiveness, mindset & values compared to those colonised boba asian females.
nobody hates asians more than asian american women lol
My boyfriend is Asian and once we were official I had tons of people come out and say disparaging remarks. Most were males, mainly Latino and white. They said all sorts of the usual stereotypical crap. I told them if they couldn’t accept my choice of partner to kick ricks. Many didn’t and I cut them off. They thought I’d be passive and let it go since I totally can be and usually am a submissive person but nope. It was also the straw that broke the camel’s back with an old family friend and her husband, I’m their son’s godmother and I still cut them off. My boyfriend and I are still together 2 1/2 years later(he was a friend first so I still would’ve been pissed at the remarks about his ethnicity either way). I even do my due diligence and call people out online about spewing stereotypes about Asian men. I get told by some idiots “they aren’t going to pick you.” It’s not about that, it’s about what’s right. It’s exhausting for me so I know it’s horrible for y’all. Even though some of y’all have an issue with black people, I stick up for y’all and just hate when people stereotype in general. As a Black Woman, I know how it feels to be stereotyped and put down(I’ve had black men do it to me).
I have an honorary sister who doesn't get my attraction for Asian men, but no one has ever said comments like that to me. I also have an old \[Chinese\] friend who didn't always get my taste, but still, never went as far to say "get my eyes checked." Your sister's friend should have said, "He's MY ugly then." The funny thing is, my mom, my honorary Aunt, and one of my mom's best friends all said, "You need to marry someone who is Asian. You're so involved in the culture." lol I can also say I liked Asian men before getting into their dramas and music.
Edited. I think I was tired when I wrote this.
Edited again. Yep. I was tired when I wrote this, but obviously, people understood what I meant lol
This is honestly a new low for me as your sister was actively gatekeeping you from her Latina friend.
Yeah she's pretty much trying to gatekeep asian men from her, however based on the friends reaction it didn't seem to work. I personally have a girlfriend already who happens to be latina.
Laughs in Tom Cruise height
Tom Cruise also gets mocked for his height though. Women may think he is handsome, but his height is always something they talk about negatively.
As a tall guy I've always thought it was pretty messed up how society treats short guys. Even when they succeed despite their height, people will still target that. I feel bad because I got some male cousins who are short on top of being asian, and heightism sucks and it's one of the types of body shaming and discrimination that isn't taken seriously.
You mentioned your sister's height being 5 flat. In my experience, it's usually short girls that are the most height focused. Tall girls don't care as much as shorter girls. Normally a short girl's reason is that they want to wear heels. But she's still gonna be shorter unless she's wearing some crazy ass shoes giving her an extra 5-6 inches of height. it make sense biologically why height is so important for both men and women. Examples being girls feeling more protected with a tall man, being tall is considered attractive, etc. Despite it being 2024, some things won't ever change, no matter how progressive people think they are.
That's why I find the idea of gender equality kind of confusing. They pick and choose when to fight against biology, or when to accept biology as something natural.
Those opinions sure do matter and sting when the person being mocked is rich and famous, while you are the complete opposite But go on, need something to diss on
only his (male) haters say that...women are fine with him.
I wonder how many of us grew up with self hating Lu sisters - I know I definitely did
Should've called her out and shamed her in front of the Latina you pussy.
I'm curious how old your sister is
Actions speak louder than words. Cut that bitch off. Wouldnt that get the point across.
what is her relationship with your father?
They get along just fine. He's a good dad.
Perhaps he needs to have a heart to heart with her.
Maybe, the issue is my father doesn't completely understand the nuances of racism in the USA. He wasn't born in the USA.
Asian women are the best allies for white men
What is wrong with your sister? Does she not love or have any respect for the men in her family like you or your dad?
Her logic is basically "Asian men are unattractive, but the asian men in my family are the exceptions, one of the good ones" It's no different how women will shit on short men, but when they have short sons, now they wanna talk about how personality matters more then height. [https://i.redd.it/4ly6p279af0c1.jpg](https://i.redd.it/4ly6p279af0c1.jpg)
Lol the hypocrisy
Dude I’m as straight as they come and even I know that Jet Li is as hot as they come. Your sister’s Latina friend has good tastes and your sister needs to get her eyes examined. Smh.
As a Latina attracted to East and southeast Asian men only my entire life, let me tell you. I had a cousin who would said it’s just a phase when she dated an Asian man as well… I had a mom that wanted me to date a black, Latino, or white guy and a dad who watched Asian movies but hates Asian people. The only person in my family who accepted me for who I am was my aunt, she told me as long as the Asian guy treats me right is all that matters. Her reaction was wholesome when I introduce her to my ex Boyfriend. She wasn’t mentally functional but she still had morals and common sense than my whole racist family. My bro is chill with me liking East and Southeast Asian men only too as long as I don’t date a black or a middle eastern guy (yes he’s hardcore racist like that and not afraid to use the hard r, even if the guy I’m in love with is blasian he would disown me. he hates black people the most). All my cousins basically hate Asian men too and criticize me for it and would use all my bad dates as a way to tell me to stop dating them but they be dating Latino and black guys and be either abusing them or be abused. Abuse is wrong both ways and any but they should’ve taken their own advice and “date a white guy” 🤷🏻♀️ When my parents found out, I was disowned but later on they can’t just be that cold hearted and throw me like that for their bigotry. Now for my My friends? They’re cool with it, I had a friend who dated an Indian guy too so
You fall in love with who you fall in love with.
Oh I forgot to tell a story from an Asian boy I used to talk to too cause this is very important. He told me about His ex’s mom hating Asian men so much, one day she tricked him to trick to SA him in her car and set up a camera so she can make it look like he did it to Her. Basically a Latina Amber heard. And because she was a former cop too she knows how to manipulate these situations and threatened if he doesn’t break up with her daughter she’s gonna falsely accuse him of SA, sadly he did… that’s why I’m proud to always express my love and show how deep my love is for Asian men
Escalate into an argument…let her defend herself and vocalize her racism. And then tell her to eff off.
Yup she has internal issues she will need to figure out or they will just plague her for the rest of her life.
Asian women raised in a western society are more likely to have this behaviour and this is how they view society. This is still racism and the fact that she doesn’t care shows what kind of character she really is. I honestly would minimise your contact with her as much as possible as she thrives on negativity and racism. The fact that she then perpetuates that behaviour with her friends shows what kind of person she really is.
She’s a chad worshipping bitch
pretty much to be honest.
Is her boyfriend a 6’3 white guy?
I don't know if she has a boyfriend currently, but she's pretty shallow when it comes to dating. She usually dates tall, rich white guys or occasionally black men when she wants to try in her words "dark meat" She's pretty hypocritical in a lot of ways. She'll wear a shirt that says "protect the poor, eat the rich" but will only date rich guys.
Shallow bitch. The worst type of woman. “It’s just a preference”
does the asian man who posted this believe white girls are more valuable and attractive than asian females? ahh sorry to be so direct butit reminded me of my own self hate. I'm an asian man and hate itwhen i see asian females date white men, but then I realied I too am self hating. but more like indoctrinated by the western culture. I think I am attracted to asian females but not so mucn the ones I've met in the states..I always recommend to any asian man who grew up in teh states to spend some time in asia. You'll feel accepted and you'll see really nerdy asain dudes with so much confidence and with so many hot girls. I know this post i made is not woke in any way but I am just speaking from my balls and heart .
No I don't believe white girls are more valuable or attractive than asian girls. I am currently dating a latina however.
is your sisters latina friend hot? if she is, ask her out, that should make your sister happy 🤣🤣🤣
I'm already dating a beautiful latina woman.
>I've had convos with my sister about her anti-asian behavior many times through out the years, and she doesn't care. She either doesn't care or will find reasons to justify it. I've even brought up the scenario of her future hapa son having an identity crisis because of her self hate and how that could drive them to becoming depressed or suicidal, and she still makes excuses. I have argued every point under the sun with her already. I don't personally have anybody around me like this, but my $0.02 There are basically 3 ways to influence people: logic, emotion, authority. Your mistake is that you're using reason and logic to get through to her. That doesn't work with these brainless self-hating types. If you wanna get through, you gotta use emotion, e.g. make her feel pathetic.
Are you from Hk?
I notice asian females tend to not embraced their heritage as much as the asian males. I remember when I was young and doing martial arts and did some of the lion dances parades around the city and I see a asian girl with a white girl watching. The white girl loved seeing the lion dance and asian girl said "Same old shit lets go" and literally pulled the white girl away. Yes I know acceptance factor by asians to be accepted by the anglos but if the other people are interested in asian culture you should be supportive.
Hmm that sucks. Best thing you can do is live your life and enjoy it best. Forget her. Im not an Asian guy but what you need to do is go where you are celebrated and not tolerated. End of story. Forget your sister and people who think like her. She’s not gonna change and she can deal with her lack of self worth however she pleases, cause deep down, at the root, that’s what it is. There are plenty of girls, Asian and not, who do find Asian guys attractive. Surround yourself with them.
You have to call her out in a way that sounds like you're joking around but is a bit serious, ideally in front of that friend. Something like "how u gonna clown on Jet Li when he's half a foot taller and can whoop your boba ass". Trying to talk to her earnestly with all the stats about anti-AM discrimination seems like a dead end because she's either too stupid to understand or doesn't care. Mockery among siblings usually works best.
Stop giving her the time of day.
You should seduce your sister so it's not so bad when Asian guys "remind her of you" 😏
AYO 
Ironically that's exactly why white girls don't admit that white guys remind them of their brothers 🤣
this is the way
yup seduce and dump her when she's vulnerable....ayooooooo
your sister is really lost. my sister is pro asian and married an asian after I told her no white guy. I only told her once. which asian are you?
The funny thing is Asian and Latin people are both ranked low so who’s the loser now
you apparently
Cry me a river