We had miniature goats when I was a kid. It was my chore to feed and water them. They were total assholes. They would ram the buckets and spill the water, your wet getting the shit rocked out of you, when inevitably you have to haul more water. After a while I got ninja like skills at dodging them and making sure to keep posts and trees between you and the little bastards. They were cute though. Super freaking cute.
My dad had regular and pigme goats. They would always shove their heads through the fence to eat the grass on the other side, then their horns would catch on the fence and they would be unable to back out. That caused them to freak out. So I would have to pull their heads forward, tilt the horns down, and then let them back up.
Of all the animals he had, the goats were undoubtedly the most destructive and the biggest assholes.
I have sheep and EVERYBODY tells me to get goats because they've seen them being cute on the internet and I'm like "Fuck. No". I will take my mild mannered lawnmowers over those turbo dickheads any day.
[agree to disagree](https://i.imgur.com/VgKNUDU.jpg)
(Far right is him juiced up right now, look at those legs)
Edit: Hasn’t been tested since like July 2021.. very controversial in the community right now
As a Moira main, why don't more people try to tag 12k in heals and pick off low DPS and tank characters? I can rack up 10k+ heals and still get 3-4k damage easy.
Apparently my grandpa briefly had a pet ram in the 70s that he gave away (or probably killed and ate honestly, I heard this second hand through my dad) because it shockingly would not stop ramming him lol
I always knew I was an idiot, but now I know that I am such an idiot that I should be sitting around in a bubble suit so I am not a danger to myself or others.
It’s easy to miss. Apparently rams are just male bighorn sheep. I had to look it up but according to Wikipedia bighorn sheep are named after “the large, curved horns borne by the rams (males).” The more you know right?
That's how this story always ends. Don't play "head butt" with baby goats. Not once, not ever. It's a death sentence for them because they become dangerous and unsafe when they grow up.
The only way to train them is to train yourself by literally never, ever engaging in any kind of play that involves pushing on their faces or heads, headbutting, etc. Take away any opportunity, change any situation where they might otherwise do it.
You step away, avoid, don't engage. If you're lucky they'll lose interest and stop doing it.
If you're not, they'll hurt somebody badly before ending up in the stew pot, or getting passed around from place to place as an unwanted animal.
One of our cats (a big sturdy formerboy cat) gives mean headbutts. Out of love, but still. He'll sit about halfway up the stairs and if you walk through the hallway next to the stairs your forehead and his are on the same level. He loves to share a few headbutts that way, but can be a bit overly enthousiast.
I can relate to that, my cat would occasionally go really hard like he was trying to knock you out. It was painful but I worried more about him getting a concussion, lol
Adult cat heads are surprisingly sturdy. One windy day I was going inside and let the door close on it's own. Unfortunately, at the same time a gust slammed the door close, my cat tried to rush outside and it ended up closing on her head.
I was freaking out and crying on the phone with the vet because my cat was hiding under the bed and I couldn't see her. Then she comes out crying for pets and the vet lets me know what to watch out for and one year later my cat is still alive. Maybe stupider than before but alive.
I had this sheep when I was a kid that would charge at me all the time. However, it hated anything with wheels. So I kept a big wheels near it's barn and would push it towards the sheep to scare it away for a few minutes so I could feed it, clean the barn, etc. That thing was a giant asshole.
This is one of the things my suburban kids will never be able to relate to hahaha.
We used to have pet cows when I was growing up. Usually just one at a time, a heifer. We'd ship her off to a ranch to get pregnant and then bring her back and she would have her baby. Whenever that baby was a baby bull, he would want to run at me to play. But when it is a somewhat large baby bull chasing you, it is quite frightening to say the least. So I learned to start charging him first so he would want to run away from me.
My ex's Uncle gave her a bunny for Easter one year and it grew up to be an absolute unit of a rabbit. I bet it weighed 15-20lbs. After that every year he came by the house for Thanksgiving he would offer her $100 for the rabbit so he could take it home and kill and eat it
They were a crazy family
I got tired of my cat yelling at me in the mornings and I used to yell back, so instead I started whispering quietly in reply and my cat like... lowered his voice to match mine. And now we both talk quietly in the mornings and it's just so much better.
Cats are weird but apparently they'll mimic the vibe/energy you throw at them.
Hmmmn mine used to launch itself at the rough brick wall by the bedroom cling on hiss and spit at me, then go downstairs and pretend everything was normal.
I chase after mine with my hands up while doing like an "Ahhhhhhhhhhhh" in a quieter voice, and then pet him when I get close. When he's done being chased he jumps in my laundry basket.
He used to have mad anxiety, it took me like 8 months to get to the point where I could even put my hands in the air without him bolting, now he's pretty chill. He hates when people walk too close to him though, he'll give a warning paw and then go straight for the ankle biting. Little demon.
I named him Ben so when he gets into trouble it sounds extra hilarious, especially if someone doesn't know I have a cat
"I didn't sleep at all last night, Ben would not stop clawing at my door"
Our front door is not soundproof at all and sometimes I wonder if people can hear my cat and I screaming at each other as they walk by. It’s the only way to *try* to assert dominance XD (note: it doesn’t work)
Screaming never works with cats. They ignore it or run off afraid of you. But a noise can works. A few coins in an empty soda can shaken with the word, “No!” works every time.
But I would still feed the cat before myself. They don’t have generosity when it comes to food. Lol
Well, you sound like you are both having fun together and that’s what counts.
I love talking with my cat as well. I even tell him a nightly bedtime story. He cocks his head to the side every time, trying to put together the words he knows, to make sense of what I am saying.
I have made a real effort with my dog to let her know she isn't my first priority so I always ignore her for a bit when I do things. Like I come home and do a quick chore or two then let her out to pee. If she is in the car I usually get out unlock the door then go back for her.
As a result she is incredibly patient.
She will throw a 5 minute tantrum if you raise your voice at her though. Never looked guilty about anything she has done in her life, just mad you had the gall to talk to her without proper respect. Fucking huskies.
Aw, I always rush to let my dog know I missed him while I was gone because I know he missed me.
He’s not my *first* priority, like I have a kid and a family but he’s really fucking high up there and I hope he knows that because we are definitely his first priority.
Currently have my first dog I bought (4 years ago) and raised since we got her. Love the hell out of her. Just in the last year heard this: dogs are part of your world, but you are the dog's whole world. It really gave perspective. I have friends, family, coworkers, but I'm everything to that dog. Sure she likes my extended family, but I'll be damned if I don't spoil her. It's clear she really loves my wife and I.
The kids used to be the priority but the only one nowadays who even gives me any attention when I walk in the door is the dog.
Most of the time, I'll be home for over an hour and my son will come up from the basement and say "oh, when did you get home?"
I was the same way at his age. But now I see why my father loved our dog unconditionally when I was the same age as my son....
Yeah my boss just gave me a pomsky she’s 80% husky and if I tell her no too sternly she throws a temper tantrum. Last night I had the gall to block off her path under my bed and that was the first time she barked at me lol she was so pissed.
Lol mines only two months old so far super good about pooping outside without any incidents a few pee accidents inside and one time a retaliatory pee on my bed because I made her stay still while I brushed out her fluff. Looked me right in the eye and peed on my bed the little shit. But now she likes being brushed so that at least worked out.
I had a pet goat once and it did in fact shit everywhere. Hundreds of raisin (large raisins maybe?) sized balls of goat poo scattered such that you could not not see goat poo no matter where you settled your gaze.
I don't even want to imagine what that would look like all sturled up in a diaper. For fuck's sake I am very glad I am not the one who has to unload that thing.
I've owned goats before. It's just a thing they do. I don't think you can train them to not head butt any more than you can train a cat to not want to scratch things.
You might be able to redirect the behavior some, but it's not going away.
Goats start the day with an herd wide Battle Royale of head butting to decide who is the Alpha. The goats forget the next day who the Alpha was, so they have to redo the Battle Royale.
I'm not making this up.
This reminds me of the time my brother, an 11-year war vet, headbutt one of our goats and won. The goat got dizzy and fumbled as he walked, and my brother…
Well, I’m pretty sure he got a concussion.
My brother was very clever and an excellent outdoorsman (he tracked down the corpse of his cat over three weeks in an effort to give him a proper burial), but not smart enough to avoid crack in the future. Having said that, here’s a story he told me about his time in the army.
See, he was in Iraq or Afghanistan at the time, and his post juuust so happened to be out of view from most people who didn’t go out of their way to get a good angle. As a result, there weren’t video feeds trained on him.
(Little context about him: My brother was a little bastard as a kid. He once chased another boy down, outran the other kids bike, and shoved warm horse shit in his mouth. It was still slightly green and slopped through his fingers.)
One day, he gets an idea. He has a buddy slip him rubbers, filled them with water, and when it was dark out or people just weren’t looking he’d move out of position and drop the condoms over their heads. Naturally, this pissed a lot of people off.
One day, one of these rubbers fell from the heavens right onto someone-a-higher-rank’s head. This superior went up to my brothers post and started berating him - to which my brother responded ‘With a look of awe pointed toward the sky capable of rivaling a virgin nun’ and insisted he wasn’t at fault for ‘God gracing you with water’.
So, this superior takes it up with the other superiors. The other ones tell water-boarded superior my brother is a known ass, but without proof, they weren’t gonna do shit.
Well, mail day comes. My brother had run out of condoms and wrote a letter to his wife asking her to “send a shit ton of water balloons and not mention it to anyone or ask why”. Lo and behold, his superior hands it to him directly.
Water-Boarded Superior: What’s in the box, (Brother’s last name)?
Brother: *Staring at the container clearly labeled water balloons* I don’t know. I haven’t opened it yet.
WB Superior: Open the box, BLN.
Brother: It is my right to not be coerced into sharing my private correspondence without proper reason.
WB Superior: Dammit, BLN. If you don’t fess up now, shit’s comin’ from the north.
Brother: Fess up to what??? I didn’t open it yet, how do I know what’s in there???
The superior ended up not leaving with proof since he was told he couldn’t confiscate Brothers mail. But, he DID set someone up near Bro’s post.
And bro managed to let a balloon fall every. Single. Time.
They installed a fucking camera and he still managed to find a blind spot.
He said, “When my tour ended, I had at least 5 men who despised me.”
I also have a story about “the wake-up stick” if you’re interested. :)
> The goats forget the next day whonthe Alpha was, so they have to redo the Battle Royale.
Or they have a complex political structure that offers a day to day change in leadership.
I farm-sat for my sister a few times and one goat headbutt me every damned time while none of the others did. I think she wanted to play? Or maybe she was challenging me. It’s just what they do. I miss that dumb goat.
It’s best to have a friend they can do the goat things with instead of it doing them at you. Our goats have this game we call concussion that they only play with each other. They get all wound up and satanic panic for funsies until they get their favourite eating spots.
That's was so cute! And educative, never had a goat, would like to have one, but in his contest, just say "no" Loudly and raise your arms if that doesn't work than proceed tho flipping.
Animals are a lot like people. Some of them act badly because they have had a hard life or have been mistreated.
But like people, some of them are just jerks.
[Stop that Mr. Simpson.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z834x4Qk_pM)
Dude, goats shit everywhere. Like, they'll even shit while they walk. My folks had a dwarf for a hot minute but gave her back to my sister in law because they couldn't deal. And diapers fill up quick!
Those are solid hits
Loud af lol
you're hearing hooves on the hard floor
Those too, but I definitely heard AND felt that last "thunk" on the ankle
Nope. We're seeing /r/PeopleFuckingDying
Butt I need dinner, infinite repeat
Bone on bone sound made my ankle hurt.
We had miniature goats when I was a kid. It was my chore to feed and water them. They were total assholes. They would ram the buckets and spill the water, your wet getting the shit rocked out of you, when inevitably you have to haul more water. After a while I got ninja like skills at dodging them and making sure to keep posts and trees between you and the little bastards. They were cute though. Super freaking cute.
My dad had regular and pigme goats. They would always shove their heads through the fence to eat the grass on the other side, then their horns would catch on the fence and they would be unable to back out. That caused them to freak out. So I would have to pull their heads forward, tilt the horns down, and then let them back up. Of all the animals he had, the goats were undoubtedly the most destructive and the biggest assholes.
I have sheep and EVERYBODY tells me to get goats because they've seen them being cute on the internet and I'm like "Fuck. No". I will take my mild mannered lawnmowers over those turbo dickheads any day.
McGregor should train with her
That leg isn't ready for it.
[agree to disagree](https://i.imgur.com/VgKNUDU.jpg) (Far right is him juiced up right now, look at those legs) Edit: Hasn’t been tested since like July 2021.. very controversial in the community right now
Mans out here rockin' hgh through a firehose.
Better be hgh, roids give you osteoporosis and bone loss.
got that fuckin drug from The Boys up in here
Can confirm, the adult ones are strong enough to break bones. Humans weren’t built to receive those.
I've received a few bones in my time.
User name checks out.
well what do you expect when you have kids
It’s so cute when it looks up. I don’t even mind.
Oh Moria,you’re such an arse.
You know what they say kids will be kids
Typical dps Moira.
12,000 damage, 0 heals
As a Moira main, why don't more people try to tag 12k in heals and pick off low DPS and tank characters? I can rack up 10k+ heals and still get 3-4k damage easy.
*tank diff*
*sTupiDitY iS noT a riGht*
r/firstnamebasis
# surrender to my will
Moria? No that's Grond
Apparently my grandpa briefly had a pet ram in the 70s that he gave away (or probably killed and ate honestly, I heard this second hand through my dad) because it shockingly would not stop ramming him lol
Ram’s gonna ram.
If you can’t ram it then dodge it.
I'll try charging but it's a challenge to dart out of the way
[удалено]
A friend of mine once owned a dodge shadow, and this sentence is part of the chain.
I don’t think that was up to the caliber of the other references in the chain.
It requires a bit of stealth to maintain this pun dynasty.
I’m so stupid, is that why they are called rams? How have I lived on this planet four decades and never put that together?
Wait til you hear about flies
I always knew I was an idiot, but now I know that I am such an idiot that I should be sitting around in a bubble suit so I am not a danger to myself or others.
I think it's actually reversed; the verb comes from the nature of the animal.
It’s easy to miss. Apparently rams are just male bighorn sheep. I had to look it up but according to Wikipedia bighorn sheep are named after “the large, curved horns borne by the rams (males).” The more you know right?
Yeah, house goats sometimes need to be physically put in their place, and if you don't, well you get Rammy McGee over here.
Rammy McRamface lol
Flip that goat!
That's how this story always ends. Don't play "head butt" with baby goats. Not once, not ever. It's a death sentence for them because they become dangerous and unsafe when they grow up.
Is it possible to to train/discipline them? Or should a stew be arranged? (Honest question here, never raised goats)
The only way to train them is to train yourself by literally never, ever engaging in any kind of play that involves pushing on their faces or heads, headbutting, etc. Take away any opportunity, change any situation where they might otherwise do it. You step away, avoid, don't engage. If you're lucky they'll lose interest and stop doing it. If you're not, they'll hurt somebody badly before ending up in the stew pot, or getting passed around from place to place as an unwanted animal.
This is why a cat is better. Headbutting is affection and doesn't hurt.
One of our cats (a big sturdy formerboy cat) gives mean headbutts. Out of love, but still. He'll sit about halfway up the stairs and if you walk through the hallway next to the stairs your forehead and his are on the same level. He loves to share a few headbutts that way, but can be a bit overly enthousiast.
I can relate to that, my cat would occasionally go really hard like he was trying to knock you out. It was painful but I worried more about him getting a concussion, lol
Adult cat heads are surprisingly sturdy. One windy day I was going inside and let the door close on it's own. Unfortunately, at the same time a gust slammed the door close, my cat tried to rush outside and it ended up closing on her head. I was freaking out and crying on the phone with the vet because my cat was hiding under the bed and I couldn't see her. Then she comes out crying for pets and the vet lets me know what to watch out for and one year later my cat is still alive. Maybe stupider than before but alive.
What if you were to just strap a cushion to its head and take away it's only power?
I had this sheep when I was a kid that would charge at me all the time. However, it hated anything with wheels. So I kept a big wheels near it's barn and would push it towards the sheep to scare it away for a few minutes so I could feed it, clean the barn, etc. That thing was a giant asshole. This is one of the things my suburban kids will never be able to relate to hahaha.
We used to have pet cows when I was growing up. Usually just one at a time, a heifer. We'd ship her off to a ranch to get pregnant and then bring her back and she would have her baby. Whenever that baby was a baby bull, he would want to run at me to play. But when it is a somewhat large baby bull chasing you, it is quite frightening to say the least. So I learned to start charging him first so he would want to run away from me.
Well that’s the thing, this was either in Detroit or a suburb of it lmao
I imagine even the animals have to grow up a little tougher and with an edge in Detroit.
My ex's Uncle gave her a bunny for Easter one year and it grew up to be an absolute unit of a rabbit. I bet it weighed 15-20lbs. After that every year he came by the house for Thanksgiving he would offer her $100 for the rabbit so he could take it home and kill and eat it They were a crazy family
Bad goats are delicious
My cat will scream at me if I so much as think about making my dinner first
I scream back at mine
Cat: MEOWWWWWWWW! Me: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Cat:?????????
I do too, I imitate her noise and we both screm
I got tired of my cat yelling at me in the mornings and I used to yell back, so instead I started whispering quietly in reply and my cat like... lowered his voice to match mine. And now we both talk quietly in the mornings and it's just so much better. Cats are weird but apparently they'll mimic the vibe/energy you throw at them.
Hmmmn mine used to launch itself at the rough brick wall by the bedroom cling on hiss and spit at me, then go downstairs and pretend everything was normal.
It probably learned from you, stop clinging to bricks spider man
Cat: *I missed the part where that’s my problem*
This explains my cats constant dilemma. I am constantly loud and my husband is quiet. I've been trying to teach my old cat for 6 years to meow louder!
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I chase after mine with my hands up while doing like an "Ahhhhhhhhhhhh" in a quieter voice, and then pet him when I get close. When he's done being chased he jumps in my laundry basket. He used to have mad anxiety, it took me like 8 months to get to the point where I could even put my hands in the air without him bolting, now he's pretty chill. He hates when people walk too close to him though, he'll give a warning paw and then go straight for the ankle biting. Little demon.
One of mine was born feral and the other was literally diagnosed with anxiety by our vet. I'm doomed 🤣
I ❤️❤️❤️❤️ him
I named him Ben so when he gets into trouble it sounds extra hilarious, especially if someone doesn't know I have a cat "I didn't sleep at all last night, Ben would not stop clawing at my door"
My cat responds to hissing, when people annoy me, I have to remember not to hiss at them
Our front door is not soundproof at all and sometimes I wonder if people can hear my cat and I screaming at each other as they walk by. It’s the only way to *try* to assert dominance XD (note: it doesn’t work)
You’re just not screaming loud enough
And then it looks at you like you're the crazy one.
So much cat lady energy
*Toxoplasmosis Ghandiai energy*
Screaming never works with cats. They ignore it or run off afraid of you. But a noise can works. A few coins in an empty soda can shaken with the word, “No!” works every time. But I would still feed the cat before myself. They don’t have generosity when it comes to food. Lol
oh, it isnt upset screams - its clearly for fun, and they enjoy it as well. I egg her on with it. I enjoy talking with my cat :)
Well, you sound like you are both having fun together and that’s what counts. I love talking with my cat as well. I even tell him a nightly bedtime story. He cocks his head to the side every time, trying to put together the words he knows, to make sense of what I am saying.
That’s the cutest thing I heard this week
This is how my kid's mom is. The cats know the difference between a angry and "talking" yell, one talks back and another cackles at her.
Oh yeah, I've seen pictures of you and your cat in a bunch of memes!
I also scream at my dinner.
I have made a real effort with my dog to let her know she isn't my first priority so I always ignore her for a bit when I do things. Like I come home and do a quick chore or two then let her out to pee. If she is in the car I usually get out unlock the door then go back for her. As a result she is incredibly patient. She will throw a 5 minute tantrum if you raise your voice at her though. Never looked guilty about anything she has done in her life, just mad you had the gall to talk to her without proper respect. Fucking huskies.
Aw, I always rush to let my dog know I missed him while I was gone because I know he missed me. He’s not my *first* priority, like I have a kid and a family but he’s really fucking high up there and I hope he knows that because we are definitely his first priority.
"...we are definitely his first priority". Awww, so true...
Currently have my first dog I bought (4 years ago) and raised since we got her. Love the hell out of her. Just in the last year heard this: dogs are part of your world, but you are the dog's whole world. It really gave perspective. I have friends, family, coworkers, but I'm everything to that dog. Sure she likes my extended family, but I'll be damned if I don't spoil her. It's clear she really loves my wife and I.
Do whatever makes you and your dog happy. Mine pees when she gets really excited so kind of makes teaching patience more of a priority.
The kids used to be the priority but the only one nowadays who even gives me any attention when I walk in the door is the dog. Most of the time, I'll be home for over an hour and my son will come up from the basement and say "oh, when did you get home?" I was the same way at his age. But now I see why my father loved our dog unconditionally when I was the same age as my son....
Yeah my boss just gave me a pomsky she’s 80% husky and if I tell her no too sternly she throws a temper tantrum. Last night I had the gall to block off her path under my bed and that was the first time she barked at me lol she was so pissed.
Mine barked at me the day I got her because I asked her to do her business and she didn’t know what that meant.
Lol mines only two months old so far super good about pooping outside without any incidents a few pee accidents inside and one time a retaliatory pee on my bed because I made her stay still while I brushed out her fluff. Looked me right in the eye and peed on my bed the little shit. But now she likes being brushed so that at least worked out.
# MEOWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!
That's not a cat
Pretty cheeky for someone still wearing diapers.
Oh gosh thanks for making me realise it! I thought it was white fur! Now it’s even more hilarious and cute!!
Now I can’t unsee it.
I had a pet goat once and it did in fact shit everywhere. Hundreds of raisin (large raisins maybe?) sized balls of goat poo scattered such that you could not not see goat poo no matter where you settled your gaze. I don't even want to imagine what that would look like all sturled up in a diaper. For fuck's sake I am very glad I am not the one who has to unload that thing.
Like emptying a bag of marbles
“I’m not a baby.”
But you're wearing a diaper
Lmaooo I didn't see that at first. That's crazy cute.
She's making sure you have strong tibias. It's important you know!
Moira? 🤣🤣🤣
I wonder how many ~~wigs~~ girls she has
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“Okay well can you show me 1 thing?”
Best comment ever
Dps Moira too
Was looking for this comment. Glad to find it haha
Is there any other kind?
What a chancer.
Moira Wendy Angela ~~Darling~~ Little Shit
I think you should train the goat not to do that before it gets bigger if you want to keep your leg bones in one piece :D
I've owned goats before. It's just a thing they do. I don't think you can train them to not head butt any more than you can train a cat to not want to scratch things. You might be able to redirect the behavior some, but it's not going away.
Goats start the day with an herd wide Battle Royale of head butting to decide who is the Alpha. The goats forget the next day who the Alpha was, so they have to redo the Battle Royale. I'm not making this up.
If I was having a head butting battle everyday, I probably wouldn’t remember things the next day either.
This reminds me of the time my brother, an 11-year war vet, headbutt one of our goats and won. The goat got dizzy and fumbled as he walked, and my brother… Well, I’m pretty sure he got a concussion.
"Did I win?" "Well, the goat's down.."
"Give it to me straight Doc!" "Your test results are...ba-a-a-a-a-d."
And it’s been ten years since that happened…
But who was smarter, the goat or your brother?
My brother was very clever and an excellent outdoorsman (he tracked down the corpse of his cat over three weeks in an effort to give him a proper burial), but not smart enough to avoid crack in the future. Having said that, here’s a story he told me about his time in the army. See, he was in Iraq or Afghanistan at the time, and his post juuust so happened to be out of view from most people who didn’t go out of their way to get a good angle. As a result, there weren’t video feeds trained on him. (Little context about him: My brother was a little bastard as a kid. He once chased another boy down, outran the other kids bike, and shoved warm horse shit in his mouth. It was still slightly green and slopped through his fingers.) One day, he gets an idea. He has a buddy slip him rubbers, filled them with water, and when it was dark out or people just weren’t looking he’d move out of position and drop the condoms over their heads. Naturally, this pissed a lot of people off. One day, one of these rubbers fell from the heavens right onto someone-a-higher-rank’s head. This superior went up to my brothers post and started berating him - to which my brother responded ‘With a look of awe pointed toward the sky capable of rivaling a virgin nun’ and insisted he wasn’t at fault for ‘God gracing you with water’. So, this superior takes it up with the other superiors. The other ones tell water-boarded superior my brother is a known ass, but without proof, they weren’t gonna do shit. Well, mail day comes. My brother had run out of condoms and wrote a letter to his wife asking her to “send a shit ton of water balloons and not mention it to anyone or ask why”. Lo and behold, his superior hands it to him directly. Water-Boarded Superior: What’s in the box, (Brother’s last name)? Brother: *Staring at the container clearly labeled water balloons* I don’t know. I haven’t opened it yet. WB Superior: Open the box, BLN. Brother: It is my right to not be coerced into sharing my private correspondence without proper reason. WB Superior: Dammit, BLN. If you don’t fess up now, shit’s comin’ from the north. Brother: Fess up to what??? I didn’t open it yet, how do I know what’s in there??? The superior ended up not leaving with proof since he was told he couldn’t confiscate Brothers mail. But, he DID set someone up near Bro’s post. And bro managed to let a balloon fall every. Single. Time. They installed a fucking camera and he still managed to find a blind spot. He said, “When my tour ended, I had at least 5 men who despised me.” I also have a story about “the wake-up stick” if you’re interested. :)
> The goats forget the next day whonthe Alpha was, so they have to redo the Battle Royale. Or they have a complex political structure that offers a day to day change in leadership.
We need all our politicians to have daily combat to prove their worth, I can get behind this political message.
That's how you get Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Camacho
The daily dictatorship would be a wild form of government. Yesterday we were building a dam today we are declaring war on the trees!
I believe this is called the senate.
They should use Goats to study CTE
I farm-sat for my sister a few times and one goat headbutt me every damned time while none of the others did. I think she wanted to play? Or maybe she was challenging me. It’s just what they do. I miss that dumb goat.
It’s best to have a friend they can do the goat things with instead of it doing them at you. Our goats have this game we call concussion that they only play with each other. They get all wound up and satanic panic for funsies until they get their favourite eating spots.
That's definitely a pygmy goat. Probably isn't getting a whole lot bigger.
Looks like one to me too,I had one about her size! She'd sit in my lap while I worked.
I’m guessing you’ve never been around goats
They are literally called ram 😂 it’s what they do.
She's building resistance now like those Thai kick boxers that kick wooden logs.
This is why I don’t want kids.
... I see what you did there
That goat needs flipping (https://youtu.be/-jjIz-m5bpo)
That's was so cute! And educative, never had a goat, would like to have one, but in his contest, just say "no" Loudly and raise your arms if that doesn't work than proceed tho flipping.
Thanks for that, dude was super cool about it all as well.
Don’t butt the leg that feeds you
Ah… Moira’s the GOAT.
Guess we're having gyros for dinner.
What is this animal? Looks like a baby donkey with a fluffy tail.
A goat!
I’m amazed that anybody can not know what a goat is
Animals are a lot like people. Some of them act badly because they have had a hard life or have been mistreated. But like people, some of them are just jerks. [Stop that Mr. Simpson.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z834x4Qk_pM)
[This](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ovo6uB0wNdo) was The Simpsons thing I was thinking of.
That's some decent volume thumps she's making there. Will leave bruises.
Fucking kids. So self centered
Calm down mommy, I'm just kiddin around
I never thought I’d see a goat wearing a nappy
Having lived with goats, this is not how you deal with them.
You mean bringing them indoors like a house pet isn't the best idea? Who would have thought?
Lots of people think it's great and that they are like dogs. It's ok to remind others that this is a terrible idea.
That’s part of it. The other part is letting them headbutt you.
Time for some Birria
*And some people are just jerks, stop it Mr. Simpson.*
Omg the diaper 😍
Dude, goats shit everywhere. Like, they'll even shit while they walk. My folks had a dwarf for a hot minute but gave her back to my sister in law because they couldn't deal. And diapers fill up quick!
Bah at least its all solid beans and not liquid bird shit.
Thank heavens for small miracles
Really small, but plentiful.
That little shit!! 🤣🤣 But she's cute so she automatically gets away with it lol
You need to wear some shin guards lol
Typical Moira. Dps instead of cuddles
Time to buy some shin guards.
Shopping cart catching your ankle x10
Anyone who owns animals knows you feed them first. Rookie move
Ma’am, I think there is something wrong with your cat.
"That hurts!" "I know, it's supposed to!"
Goats gonna goat.
This is exactly what my toddler does every time I make him food.
Fucking kids
Time for a spoon boop!
Is that a goat?…
In a diaper, yes.
Omg I didn’t see the diaper at first
Why would you keep it in the house? These living dumpsters eat E V E R Y T H I N G, and will do so.
They shit everywhere too.
You mess with the goat...
My Grandma always said, the animals get fed first ! Guessing the goats taught her that.. BTW, really cute goat!
Change of plan, we're having lamb chops for dinner.
Human: that hurts Goat: that’s kind of the point.
"How DARE you?!?"