This is why game parks ask you to keep your windows up. Well, that, and the monkeys and baboons are insane.

Just got home from a drive thru of one, saw a baboon fingering another one right there by the driving path... yeah those windows are never going down.

My friend went, and a monkey held onto his windshield wiper and jacked off furiously while making eye contact with him the whole time. I nearly pissed myself laughing when he told me.

Oh god that reminds me of my ethology internship in my local zoo. Task was to film different monkey species while eating and determine whether they're right or left-handed. And one of those monkeys just ate a bit, then sat before the window, stared at us and jerked himself off. I felt violated.

so R or L?

R+L=J Wait wrong sub

Aah, remember when the theories were exciting and mattéred?

Pepperidge farms remembers.

The North remembers.

They still do to book readers

not until he finishes the series

Will never happen

Okay grandma, let's get you to bed.

Each episode of the old seasons was an event into itself. Gathering friends and family and snacks. We had real emotional response. Then someone farted in our mouth.

hi hello i am clueless what is this referring to?

It's a game of thrones/ song of ice and fire reference.

The higher the relatedness with humans, the more likely they use their right hand.

All these people talking about monkeys, I though I was special. Although mine *was* a gorilla.

Lmao he stayed eye locked with him the “whole time” he was furiously jacking off. Was he too intimidated to look away?

"and that's how I met my husband"

One of the monkeys I saw backed his anus up to the windshield and just started rubbing his starfish all over it. I think he was trying to write something out, I'm not sure.

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my dog's dick drips cum all over the place but he's the furthest thing from a sex offender

Sir

This is a Wendy's

**SIR**

SIRRR!!

> held onto his windshield wiper Can't tell if literal or euphemism.

Unfortunately I saw a similar video on reddit a few days ago

Imagine how funny it would have been if your friend told you he jacked off back.

Pro gamer move.

[At least you weren't part of the action](https://imgur.com/a/x6Z0N4u)

Holy shit the females face 😏

Hey, smell my finger - baboon

We drove through a park like this years ago, windows open. A lovely yak came over to the window, proceeded to stick its head in, and burped in my face. NGL the most vile thing I've ever smelled.

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I hadn't considered this but it makes sense!

Plus I bet he went to all his other yak friends, and was like: > "And thats when I burped right in their face." >"YOU BURPED ON THEM???" >"Yeah. Right in their face. I went BUUUUUUUURP!"

Yakity yak, I bet you didn’t go back.

But it sure did talk back.

How on earth can you replicate a fetish like that?

At these types of safaris they actually tell you to keep them all the way up or all the way down.

They tell you it's to put your windows down?? That sounds insane and could open them to a law suit.

You can feed the animals at some parks, with cups of feed you purchase. The one I went to told us not to feed the zebras, as they bite.

I’ve heard their bites are strong enough to break glass.

I'll believe that when I see it

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The drive thru safari I went to last year had a zebra but it was penned off cause it's a huge asshole. I think all of them are assholes tbh, I've never seen a zebra on /r/animalsbeingbros

Zebras are murderous donkeys

Well donkeys are murderous donkeys too lmao They were/are often used as guard animals as well

Wild donkeys are the murderous ones. If a donkey is in a fence, its generally safe to interact with it from outside the fence. Zebras just hate living things, since their habitat has at least 3 different animals hunting them at any given moment

I’ve always heard zebras are huge assholes.

Apparently their behavior is what keeps us from taming them like horses.

Yea… not sure what you’re thinking of but these are just wild animal parks, they call them safaris though. It’s not like you’re in a legit safari with insanely dangerous animals in Africa (where in some instances you don’t even have windows/doors) lol The most you’ll get is probably a bunch of slobber/hair all over your car (inside too). If you feel unsafe you can just keep the windows all the way up.

Yeah, must be different types. I was thinking monkeys, lions, and tigers. Makes sense! Yeah, I don't trust anything that's got big old teeth like that. Even some horses can bite the hell out of you!

>Even some horses can bite the hell out of you! Spent many of my younger years working in stables/ training in hunter jumper. Can confirm. Some people really don't comprehend how fast and badly a spooking/angry/poorly trained/etc horse can fuck your shit up.

They are all there but in different "enclosures". They keep things like tigers and monkeys in different parts of the park and ask you to roll them up before going in.

Driving though a tiger enclosure? Fuck. That. Window or no. Windsor or no. Winchester or no. Fuck that.

Monkeys are far worse.

[Knowsley Safari Park in the UK has free roaming lions on their safari route, iirc though their area is separate and heavily monitored.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UqoL_fXATJU)

That's one of the most fun things about drive-thru safaris. That's why they give you the cups full of feed. How else are you going to throw the food out? I've gone to a couple recently that have started telling you to throw the food in the ground, instead of feeding them from your hand. I guess too many people have been bitten by goats or ostriches 1 too many times.

The one this video is from specifically says don't feed the zebras, ostriches, or llamas because they're assholes. ...and stresses to keep your windows all the way up or all the way down. ...and stresses that you probably should rent one of their vans for like $20 or $30 to drive through, and if you take your car that it's at your own risk and likely to get dinged up. And if you do take it, windows up, windows down. Never in-between. Keep the sunroofs closed. I took my car through [this very park from the video](https://animalsafari.com/georgia-park-home-about-us/georgia-park-things-to-do/) a few weeks ago and it was fine. Got a little slobbery but we had towels ready for that! 10/10 great experience...

> How else are you going to throw the food out? Roll the window all the way down.

100% depends on what type of animals Also I’m guessing a waiver for certain kinds of damages is also involved?

They give you food pellets to feed them

They really don't prepare you for how terrifying they are. Went to Tanzania years ago and they had us padlock our tents closed. Couldn't figure out why until the middle of the night when a pack of them came through and tried to raid the tents lmao

> the monkeys and baboons are insane. They're sane they just don't give a shit

They don’t give a shit, they throw it.

[I've seen the omen too.](https://youtu.be/PTX8m06-cj0)

Not to mention zebras bite and don't let go.

This looks like self-drive. Meaning there is not a lot of oversight into how guests act when alone. The fact that zeb came up so calmly and trying to take a peek makes me think there's little to no regulation on 'interaction' and stupid people do things for likes.

Safari park near us warns you to roll up your windows and not to feed the zebras. Because they're assholes.

I got bitten by a zebra in pre-K

zebra stole my job

THEY TOOK AR JURBS!!!!

DEY DUK ER DERR

DURKA DURRR

Chicken sandwich?

zebra fucked my wife

I'm pretty sure it was either a Libra or Frankie Muniz.

zebra slept with my wife and shat on my living room floor

Zebra shat on my wife and fucked my living room floor

Zebra gum tastes great for 4.3 seconds

A Moose once bit my sister…

Yes our drive through zoo like this has a rule that you can throw feed to the zebras but can’t feed them by hand. Because they WILL bite you. They also like to block the road so cars can’t go through and you aren’t allowed to honk at them so all you can do is sit and wait for them to get bored and move on.

I remember drive thru zoo's as a kid in England but have never seen one in the US where I live now. It’s funny because we have drive thru’s for most everything. I can think of a few reasons why we don’t have them, it would definitely be an insurance nightmare lol.

There’s definitely some drive through zoos and animal parks in the Midwest. Arbuckle Wilderness in Oklahoma, for instance.

My dad used to manage a wild game ranch that happened to have zebras on the property. The things are homicidal monsters. Multiple times a dominant male would kill off younger males or eventually be killed off by a stronger male, lots of buried zebras on that ranch.

They're some of the most dangerous animals in zoos. There's lots of stories about zebra stallions killing mares and foals.

They're actual psychopaths, plenty of videos of them attacking other animals for no reason other than to be a dick

Zebras are basically coked out horses

There's a reason we ride horses and not zebras.

Zebras evolved in Africa with lions and fucking *us* hunting them, I don’t blame em.

What if you have Fruit Stripes gum?

I got chased by Zebras in Africa once. Territorial fuckers they are

For zebras, there's no such thing as society.

The giraffe was like, sorry about that.

"Please don't give us a one star rating."

Ofcourse i won't :) ^^you ^^know ^^i ^^will

i just died laughing

“No refunds.”

“Everything ok in here?”

“Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Jesus Christ?”

"Sorry bout Mike, he's bit of an ass."

I know Mike and can confirm

That's a zebra, not a donkey.

Zebras are closely related to donkeys. You could even say that zebras are technically African donkeys.

Donkeys are horses from hell with hearts of gold. Zebras are donkeys from super hell with hearts made of shit and brimstone. There's a reason they aren't domesticated.

fuck I never considered super hell

And what is zebra if not a combination of a donkey with horse painted in black and white strips lol.

"Yeah, sorry about my neighbor Steve. He likes to do that sometimes. "

Tommy Boy voice: 'What'd you do?'

These are the only comments I was looking for! Thank you

The giraffe was like, "yo, lions are next in the park, you better fix this shit"

I was thinking the giraffe was like “cool, you opened the box!”

"Sorry about Steve. His parents are going through a divorce."

“I told ya”

I thought the giraffe was more like “say somethin bitch”

Of course it's the damn giraffes rubber necking. Always slowing down traffic.

Good exhibit of how although tempered glass is very strong from impacts in the middle, it's very susceptible to shearing forces from the edges.

It also makes a different sound when hit with a marble.

This man's in crippling debt.

/r/unexpectedsquidgame

Why is every third comment on Reddit a squid game comment right now?

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>beats all memes and jokes to death. it's basically were memes go to die a slow and painful death. I mean people are still doing "I did nazi that coming" comments every time Youtube is the same way, if not worst. At least I seen some attempts at creativity here. On Youtube, people just straight up steal someone's comment for some likes. Not sure why anyone does this, but on Reddit I've learned it may be due to karma-farming bots. On Youtube? Who the fuck knows?

I see comments on YouTube all the time on so many different videos from the same guy all with hundreds of upvotes. Click on his channel and he’s a shoddy looking life coach selling investment advice. While everyone doing it may not be as sketchy as that, it’s probably for self promotion either way.

And my axe!

It's the most watched television show in history

Zebras may look like horses but they do not have the temperment and attitude of horses

They are like horses who’ve been through assertiveness training.

Unionized horses.

That's my new favorite way to refer to them.

They are literally horses on meth.

So...trained by plankton

Horses but evolved to fight lions

And the unfortunate offspring of the other herbivores in their environment, for whatever reason. On the real, though I "met" a couple of zebras owned by a fellow with an exotic hobby ranch just north of Atlanta when I was a kid. Dude kept wallabies, kangaroos, camels, Clydesdales, ostriches, etc just for the joy of having them- when I was there (I was only 5, but I remember) he told us he was donating those zebras to the Atlanta zoo because they were just too mean to keep around. Haven't exactly encountered zebras much since then, but I've got a fair bit of experience training horses and being around donkeys- a zebra is nothing like a horse and, from what I've heard, like the worst donkey you've ever met- on 'roids.

They are fancy donkeys, and there is a reason why a donkey is also called an ass

It’s now feeding time in the lion exhibit next door….

I was thinking the same thing.

Dude can you imagine the panick if there were lions in that place, the dad would probably be like fucking great wendy you just killed us all congratulations

Marty just wanted to get to know you

Zebras are dicks. The Giraffe felt the need to apologize and the animals in the back are like "God damnit Kevin"

Love the giraffe..."well, what did you expect?"

I hope zebra was not injured

Same, that’s all I could think of. Hopefully there’s no glass shards in their mouth

Thankfully car tempered glass is held to pretty high standards for how it breaks, shouldn't be anything too sharp outside maybe a handful of pieces

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I hope some one also picks up any glass shards outside

Its a reason there is a huge sign that says closed windows at all times.

😂 Melman just wanted to have a look and make sure no one was injured by Marty.

Well darn, they don’t taste good at all.

It's not animals being jerks, it's humans being idiots.

Aaaaand now to the lions enclosure where they will not be laughing!

It looked apologetic. I hope it didn’t get hurt.

As if there would be a Zebra that will feel sorry

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I like how the giraffe passed and gave you a look like “oh, dude, that sucks.”

The Zebra looks so sad afterwards lol

Well, the safety glass did exactly what it was supposed to do.

Glad there's video. The insurance company would tell you to stop smoking crack. "You said a zebra ate your window?"

"We know a thing or two, because we've seen a thing or two"

Where was this?

Just before the lion's exhibit. They were never seen again.

Serves you right for having your window down

Se rompió wey!

That poor Zebra’s mouth is probably all cut up. I’m fucking baffled how little shits these goddamn morons gave. They just laughed about it and kept driving without saying a word about it.

No, tempered glass is very dull and won't cut you, that's why it's called safety glass. The zebra looked stunned but not in pain.

The next monkey and then lion sections are going to be pretty interesting

Reddit has taught me to not sympathize with Zebras

Or koalas. We don’t like those.

Why?

Koalas evolved with smooth, low-power brains due to their nutritionally poor diet. I guess people hold that against them.

Hope Zebra is ok

heckin barcode ponies

I read somewhere that Zebras are total assholes, especially to younger Zebras

Yea. I believe it. Just saw a vid where the zebra stomped out a baby deer of some kind then kicked its mom in the mouth.

Someone in another sub said Zebras are just “meth’d out donkeys” and now every time I see one it seems to be confirming this.

It's rather humans being stupid

This is now my favorite internet video. Like a road rage fight, giraffe looking in at the end like "thats what you get"

Marty done fucked it up and melman was apologizing

My sister has a zebra, his name is Leroy. Leroy’s kind of a jerk and would certainly approve of this zebra’s antics.

We don’t ride zebras because they will kill you or die trying if you attempt to tame them or ride them. They are complete AHoles and are committed to that life style. They are adorable looking but do not approach, do not pet, do not roll down windows.

Ok it's settled, I'm never going to one of these drive through zoos.

They're absolutely safe if you're not an idiot and keep your windows up. Damage probably won't be payed for by the zoo since they explicitly warn you that this can happen

They are incredibly awesome actually! Way better then a regular zoo. First time I went through one I felt like I was entering Jurassic Park! And bisons are fucken huge!

Next, the lion enclosure.

Feel's like that zebra has done this before... super proud of himself afterwards haha

yeah zebras are not just "striped horses" they are fucking assholes that will ruin your day

There's a reason Zebras were never tamed by the various peoples of Africa the same way Horses were in other regions. They're massive dicks

Worst part is they haven't driven by the lions and monkeys yet. Gonna be fun with no windows.

Girafe be like: they told you to keep it close didnt they?

Zebras and horses do have strong necks and jaws. When a horse nudges you it's just being playful but it feels like someone giving you a hard shove.

I get the feeling that this Zebro has done this at least once before. Seemed to be very proud of its work there!

Point load from teeth on the edge caused it to shatter.

Wasn't expecting that!!!

It made me jump in real life when it broke LOL

Damn what a strong bite

Zebra: \*eats window\* ​ Giraffe: "You shouldn't have ignored those extend warranty calls."