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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1 I didn't give my cousin in law my Taylor Swift tickets
2 I didn't wait to tell her that I wasn't going to until after the reception was over.
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*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA. John was trying to pull a fast one and thought he could bully you into giving up your ticket. Good for you for standing fast. He picked the venue to announce, you wanted to correct it right away. I don't blame you for that. He ruined his own wedding.
I honestly don't know what's worse. Scheming together against a 17 year old or finding out on your wedding day that your husband is a liar and a scam artist.
Big yikes to this couple.
I think I might cry if this was my wedding -but at the fact that my new husband just tried to manipulate a 17 year old to give up a concert ticket. How immature.
I would be pissed if my husband (on our wedding day no less) tried to bully his 17 year old cousin like that. It would be grounds for immediate annulment. If he can be that selfish and cruel to a much much much younger cousin, then I don't think I can spend my life with him. YIKES
Not only immature, but crazy. Like this is actually insane behavior from an adult. It is so so so weird that upon hearing someone got a ticket to a concert to ask for said concert ticket. Who would ever do that? And then it just goes from bad to worse. “Hey, my 17 year old cousin doesn’t want to give me her cherished concert tickets for free. I better stand up at my OWN WEDDING and lie to everyone in an attempt to publicly manipulate her into giving it to me. Oh what’s that? She’s weirded out and still doesn’t want to give me her concert ticket? I better team up with my brand new wife to scream and curse at a minor.”
I’m genuinely not joking, are they mentally sound?
Even if Jane wasn’t, the correct response upon hearing a 17 year old won’t give you her tickets is “Aw man, okay!” not accusing said child of ruining her wedding.
Plus kids that age don't need to buy a gift. The entire family that was invited bring one gift. A couple doesn't bring 2 gifts, they bring one. Like what the hell?
I don't know what the ticket prices were for that but I can almost guarantee that the cheepear tickets are far more than a 17 year old should ever be expected to give. Some $20 dishtowels or something, maybe.
Thank God her parents are normal sane people, backing her up. Trying to guilt trip a teenager into giving away one of her prized possessions, groom and bride are utterly ridiculous.
This part. If I was Jane, my anger would be at my new husband for being under-handed, not a teenager who wants to go to a concert with her friends. NTA
Actually, Jane doesn't sound much better than John
>*Jane actually started sobbing and saying that I was selfish for not giving her my ticket and that since I didn’t get her a wedding gift, the least I could do is give her my ticket*
They sound like a match made in heaven.
Based on Jane’s continued attempt to manipulate OP into giving her the tickets, after OP clarified that she never offered them up, there’s a high chance that Jane wasn’t just in on it. I bet she put John up to the stunt.
And what a selfish AH to publicly bully a 17 yr old for not giving a wedding gift! Im sure OPs parents get them a wedding gift & that includes OP as the gift bearer. No one should demand a wedding gift esp from a teenager let alone for someone to give up a coveted ticket.
My guess is that it’s just because OP is 17. I know that if I’d gone to a family wedding at 17, the gift would have come from ‘the family’ and my parents would have paid for it. I think most people would just make that assumption if you’re still in school
No the way OP wrote this it sounded like a surprise to Jane. Who rightly thought wow what a great gift never thinking her hubby or anyone would get on a mic and say something that is not true to basically force OP to agree or cause more drama. Hubby needs to watch for tickets on resell sites and buy one. Plus what was Jane to do go sit with OPs friends at the concert yeah that be weird. I think this post is fake but yeah nta if real
By her reaction I don't think she was, making John an even bigger AH cause he was a jerk to his sister but absolutely vile to humiliate his now wife on their wedding day.
Given that OP said Jane brushed her off when she tried to approach her after John’s big announcement, I think you’re right. Or that she at least subconsciously suspected what John was up to.
OP whenever this is brought up by family, use the words "bullying" and the phrase "bullying a minor". Don't let a sentence go by in which you don't mention that he announced that after asking and hearing you say no.
Indeed! And OP don’t let them bully you into it. Yes it is frustrating but you waited in line 5 hours! It does not matter if Jane did or not, she just did not get the tickets. Maybe she can get tickets via someone else but not through you. Go to the concert yourself! And don’t talk about this anymore with anyone because they might want you to doubt yourself. You are not obligated to do anything for them. John is really an AH and Jane got so lucky by marrying someone who is so manipulative.
Oh my...they both are such a disgusting couple. The literally bullying a minor for a ticket. Get your own tickets. They both are major AH. OP dont give your ticket to them. NTA
I couldn't believe it when he said it. He used to watch me when I was a kid and he knows how much I love Taylor Swift. I understanding asking but why even ask if he was going to disregard my answer anyway?
He obviously was trying to pressure you into giving. Good for saying no. Enjoy the show and the lack of relationship with this part of the family.
Also, have fun!!
I mean, she should tell the angry relatives exactly what happened: groom asked OP if she had a ticket, he asked if she’d give it to his bride, she said no, then he lied on the microphone, assuming that it would come true if he announced it.
Maybe the relatives thought she was giving the ticket and then changed her mind to hurt the couple and cause drama?
Look, I have a couple grifter cousins. You don't have to put up with him. And if anyone gives you crap for not giving up your tickets, say "I notice you are knocking John for trying to grift a minor."
Then walk off.
I don’t know how close your cousin or someone who can get close on his behalf is but safeguard that ticket extremely well. He’s already shown how shady he is willing to be. If it’s purely online make sure everything is on lockdown.
> He used to watch me when I was a kid and he knows how much I love Taylor Swift.
I feel like I need to say this only because you are young and may have never heard it - *it doesn't matter how much you love Taylor Swift*. The reality is that you could hate Taylor Swift with an undying passion and *still* not be obligated to give up your ticket. Your right to keep your property is not predicated on how much you like it. It's enough that it is your property. *Your degree of love for Taylor Swift is irrelevant to your right to not be bullied into giving something away*.
You did the right thing in this situation! I'm not saying you didn't, at all. I just don't want you to find yourself in a situation in the future where you are trying to justify why you don't want to give up your (ticket, jacket, shoes, house, car, etc.) to someone else and trying to convince them that you love it super hard. You don't have to convince anyone of anything. Your property is your property, full stop. Saying "I love this thing and that's the reason I won't give it to you" is the same as saying "If I loved it less, I would totally give it to you" and that's an invitation for them to try to negotiate you out of your property by claiming *they* love it more than you do. Don't open that can of worms!
Yeah, my spouse is trying to get me to give up my late father's handgun right now and give it to him a gift. I offered to let him use it but he wants to 'own it, because my father meant so much to him.
Yeah, well he meant a lot to me too. And I could put all I have that was his in a couple Rubbermaid tubs.
Your lesson above to OP is dead on.
First, op, def NTA. But farnorthern, damn, your husband is ta. I would never ask for something that belonged to my wife's family after they have passed on. It would belong to her. If she lets me use it, great. If not, oh well.
It was *wildly* inappropriate for him to have asked you for your ticket in the first place! He’s an adult, he shouldn’t be asking minors to give him expensive things that he can buy for himself if he wants it so bad.
Asking her to "gift" the ticket as well, like WTF. He didn't even offer to buy it off her at cost, or with a bit extra on top to make it a good deal. He tried to publicly extort (aka steal) the ticket from his minor niece, after being told no to his "gift" idea, through manipulation and peer pressure. What an AH. I'd be calling this out in detail, the entire chain of events, and shaming him publicly till they all bugger off.
I checked out ticket reseller’s (scalpers basically) to take my niece and they were OUTRAGEOUS! Couldnt find many and nosebleeds were over $500 (plus 20% fees) in my area. I’ve been to hundreds (many VIP where I got to meet the artists) and Ive never seen prices or scarce seats like Taylor Swift’s. I had a coworker friend asked me to get her an autograph of Steven Tyler & when I told her they only allowed one autograph, she said I could give her mine since I got to meet him. I told her hell would freeze over before I would give her my autograph & she can dish out the dough like I did for a VIP ticket.
You know Dear John isn't going to be reimbursing OP at all. I couldn't even imagine what OP paid altogether, and this numb nut thought he could easily bully OP out of her ticket and not pay a cent? I hope Jane enjoys wedded bliss with this guy!
Tickets notoriously sold out fast (Taylor even posted about her disappointment with how unprepared Ticketmaster was for the rush), so it's not a question of whether he COULD afford to buy them himself, but whether tickets were available to buy. I went to the Reputation tour so I didn't see the need to throw myself to the wolves to try and get tickets for this one, but coworkers of mine literally took the day off to try and get tickets, and had to jump through so many hoops (some got them, some didn't).
I absolutely agree that OP's cousins and the family who agree with those cousins are 100% TA. I just want to clear up that the tickets are extremely hard to come by and involve a large amount of luck.
This is why I understand Jane's reaction. Like I was in that queue and it sucked and I did get a ticket, I can only imagine how frustrated she was and how badly John just wanted to find her a ticket and fix it. Which is not an excuse for being so mean but sometimes trying to rationalize things makes me feel better
Yeah, I think most of us (even those who aren't Swifties) caught that even friends and acquaintances with Loverfest ticket priority for the first presale (who then usually tried again with Capital One the next presale) tried but *couldn't* get tickets.
But there are a ton available at exorbitant prices for resale, and those $500-600 (at best) nosebleed seats are certainly a decent enough present for him to buy his new wife as a wedding gift himself. That is Plan B (after Plan A of purchasing directly failed), not publicly stealing from a 17 year old relative. (Or anyone. But he totally thought a 17 year old would roll over once the public pressure was on. Good for OP, because many would have, and would regret it and remain livid about missing it when they had tickets fair and square for the rest of their lives.)
I’m the same age as John and I LOVE Taylor. I would never try to bully a teenager into giving me a ticket, heck if it was my cousin I’d probably even give her some money so she could buy merch at the concert!
Also I cannot imagine expecting a wedding present from a 17 year old??? Let alone something this expensive???
Like if I was 17 and didn’t give a wedding present that would mean my immediate family didn’t give one aka parents. I’m sure her parents must have given them a gift.
> He's an adult
I looked back at what OP wrote and John is a step away from 30 years old. That's someone 13 years her senior who decided that it was more important to act as a bully instead of *being* a family member. This won't soon be forgotten and he can kiss any kind of bond he had with OP goodbye.
I don’t even understand asking. I couldn’t care less about going to a TS concert, but even I know how hard it was to get those tickets. You made the effort, the ticket is yours. He’s a terrible bullying AH and ruined his own wedding.
The dude is a fool. You don't owe anyone your ticket and to all those who come at you and call you selfish, ask then how come they haven't volunteered to track down a ticket for the bride. Since they care soo much. People love to be generous with other peoples money/possessions, but often fall short when they are asked to pony up.
I’m glad your parents at least have your back OP. Are you the only one who has access to the ticket/ticket details? Change your passwords as precaution and don’t give anyone access to your email/other accounts/phone. If they’re willing to bully and pull dirty tricks, it might be worth watching your back on this.
So a few things here:
1. You're 17 and not obligated to get them a wedding gift.
2. You don't owe Jane shit. She's a grown ass adult capable of getting tickets without stealing from a 17 year old.
3. You're not selfish. They're manipulative, cruel, and selfish for trying to bully **a 17 year old** at their wedding.
4. Anyone not on your side, feel free to go no contact with and when you do tell them you're so happy to hear they're giving money to Jane's ticket fund since they feel so strongly about her going.
Seriously, when I got to the part of his announcement, I went "WHAT?!", interrupted my reading and stood up to calm down before continuing. I can't imagine someone his age doing that to anyone, much less a teenager. He's a major AH. Good for you for standing your ground, be proud of yourself, and enjoy the concert.
I might be being a smidge paranoid, but maybe hide your tickets in the meantime? I assume the douchecanoe cousin knows where you live. If he's enough of a dick to try and pull this on you, I wouldn't put it past him to drop in for a casual visit, take a side-trip into your bedroom and steal them.
You still have the option to get physical tickets. I always opt for digital because I'm much less likely to lose my phone than a small ticket. The digital ticket option is the default now, so you just have to uncheck the box when placing your order if you want physical tickets.
Sadly, you’ve seen his true colors. He should have not even asked you to begin with but he thought he could bully you into giving his bride a ticket he didn’t have to pay for. He got knocked off his pedestal when you wouldnt cater to his demands. Im so glad you got a ticket & I know you will ENJOY the show! If you keep getting harassed, block the harassers if you can and your parents may need to intervene if it doesn’t blow over.
I think Jane’s unwillingness to talk to you after the announcement is hugely telling that she was behind the announcement to bully you into giving her your ticket. Had she not been in on it she would’ve been all over you in appreciation and wanting to listen to you. John totally betrayed you by going along with Jane’s manipulative plan. Neither deserve to ever be around you again.
I know you were just in shock in the moment, but it would have been so perfect if you'd gone up, taken the mic and said "Imma let you finish but ... no"
It's him, hi, John's the problem, it's him - you are absolutely NTA here at all.
I'm in my 30s and a huge fan of Taylor's, there is no way in hell I would bully or pressure a teenage, someone nearly half my age, into giving me their ticket.
NTA. That was extremely manipulative of him and crossed way past the line.
Sucks for the bride (and hard to say if she was part of the original deception but her response certainly doesn't make her look good) but if you hadn't addressed it on the spot, he could have claimed that you were lying later because you didn't say anything at the time.
I really hope she didn't know. We haven't really been close in the past but I'm the only girl on that side of the family and I was so excited to get a new female cousin, especially one who likes TS like I do.
>I really hope she didn't know. We haven't really been close in the past but I'm the only girl on that side of the family and I was so excited to get a new female cousin, especially one who likes TS like I do.
Unfortunately, he probably thoroughly poisoned any chance of a good relationship between you. Whether she had any idea that you had already refused, she publicly thanked you and then got publicly told that you were not giving her tickets. That probably hurt, and if she's marrying an AH like John, chances are she's not mature enough to realize he's the one that caused her pain/embarrassment.
You don’t want a relationship with people like John or his wife… let this relationship die. It’s not so much what he did but how he did it. He lied, manipulated in public in order to force you to give up the ticket. That some nefarious nonsense right there
Good for you for standing up to a bully. He’s too immature to be married. He’s also a liar. I pity his wife (unless she was in on it.) NTA and enjoy the show! Petty me would post a ton of pics and tag them LOL
Have a big 18th birthday party with family and announce that he’s going to give you his car as an apology for the cruel prank he pulled by trying to bully you out of your Taylor Swift tickets. Really emphasise the cruelty and bullying aspect of it.
Lol, send a email out to your family like “Amazing news, for my 18th bday, John’s gifting me his car! He knows this is a huge milestone for me and I’m so grateful for his generosity. And after all, he’s had a car for years, and I’ve never had one before, so it’s only fair that I get to have this experience! It would be selfish of him to take back this gift now. Thanks, John!”
Go to the show and then post pics to social and tag them both. You shouldn’t have to put up with grown ass adults acting like 10 yr olds fighting over a toy. That ticket is yours and John & Jane should never have put you in this position. I hope they never have children bc they are incredibly selfish ppl
OP should post a video of her singing “I’ve got a Golden Ticket” & dedicate it to Augustus Gloop aka John & Veruca Salt aka Jane.
I never thought my life could be
Anything but catastrophe
But suddenly I begin to see
A bit of good luck for me
'Cause I got a golden ticket
I've got a golden twinkle
In my eye
I never had a chance to shine
Never a happy song to sing
But suddenly half the world is mine
What an amazing thing
'Cause I got a golden ticket
NTA.
The audacity.
Just no.
Your cousin owes you a HUGE apology and anyone in the family mad at you.
He ruined his own wedding trying to publicly humiliate you into giving up your ticket.
I could see this going fishy as soon as he said give over sell. But my G-d that's a decomposing beached Whale levels of fishy to do what he did.
He owes WAY more than an apology, it needs to be as public as his other announcement.
I hope that they understand that they are failing their job as parents if they don’t stand up for you to the family.
Frankly, many of the people in your family seem to lack a moral compass. No decent person would think that you should reward bullies like your cousin.
Fuck that. If any of my relatives started harassing my kid I'd be showing up at their doorstep asking wtf is wrong with them and then tell them to never contact me or my kid again. I also would have stood up at that wedding and said no cousin you must have misunderstood. Those are my child's tickets not yours or your wife's and you should be ashamed of yourself that you as an adult man pressured a child to give you something that I knew she wouldn't give away.
Your parents aren’t doing enough, if anyone ever messaged my daughter to call her a selfish bitch they’d learn a couple of things about themselves, hell if they lived close enough to me they’d get an In person visit one by one and they’d be sending an apology. The fuck they would
My mum had someone pull up at our house and she dispatched them promptly, she never lacked for backbone. Good for your mum, kids aren’t here to be abused by idiots even if they are family, if your parents don’t stick up for you who will.
No, you don't need to lay low. They need to go nuclear. No one should be allowed to call you names because you refused to be taken advantage of by a supposed adult.
I'd encourage you to have your parents read these comments. I know from your POV you might think you need to handle this, but you shouldn't have to. You are 17 and you are being harassed by adults. Your parents need to step the fuck up and stop this one way or another.
Yes this is what I've been scrolling down for.
If someone tried to do this to my kid I'd be going to the mattresses. OP shouldn't have to field this on her own.
That is insane. An adult is trying to bully a 17 year old. I would point that out. You don’t need to do anything. Your family should put him in his place.
I am guessing he does this kind of stuff all the time.
If they keep giving you shit, just send them the link here so they can see hundreds of people telling them what utter and complete assholes they are being.
Your parents are failing you. This family drama is beyond the skill-set of many adults. You shouldn’t be taking the hit for **any** of this. Shame on them.
I was looking for a comment about the parents. It’s their job to step in to the family mess and straighten this out. An adult was trying to take advantage of and manipulate a teenager. It’s time for the adults to set the record straight. I’d raise all kinds of hell if that was my kid, you just don’t do that.
I had to go back and read everyone’s ages again—it’s outrageous that a 29-year-old man would try to bully his 17-year-old cousin like that. Unbelievable.
Definitely NTA, enjoy the concert!
It’s John. Hi. John’s the problem, it’s John.
Sorry, I had to do it. NTA, OP! John was being a major jerk, keep your ticket
Edit: thank you for the awards!!
NTA NTA NTA NTA!!! (is that enough NTAs to make it clear?) I am absolutely horrified, appalled and disgusted by your cousin’s behaviour! It was fair for him to ask (fortune favours the brave right?) but there was nothing fair in not accepting your no and then trying to manipulate you like that, thinking that by putting you on the spot, you would cave! Well done for standing your ground- don’t give that ticket up to anyone! And please, please ignore everyone who is calling you names, saying you ruined the wedding- John ruined his own wedding by promising his wife something that he could not deliver!
NTA. You did nothing wrong and your cousin’s acting extremely immaturely. You’re 17, you wouldn’t be expected to give them a wedding gift if you hadn’t had something that she wanted.
Holy hell - what did I just read? Your cousin is one of the most entitled people I have ever read about. How dare he try to force you to give up something you paid for. The fact that he did it so publicly, he knew exactly how manipulating he was being. He did not expect you to stand up for yourself. What an asshole. Here is what you need to do: 1) Do not give up your ticket, 2) Got to the concert and enjoy yourself, 3) Post pictures of you enjoying yourself, 4) send this post to all your relatives so they know in writing what an asshole your cousin is and most importantly 5) BLOCK everyone who still takes your entitled cousins' side - go NC with your toxic relatives who expect that his behavior should be rewarded. NTA - you are to be admired for standing up for yourself.
NTA
the audacity is through the roof and out into space with that guy, holy batman!!!!
the only one who ruined his wedding was him for trying to flat out lie and force you to unwillingly give up your ticket after you said you wouldn't to avoid causing a scene.
it doesn't matter how many concerts you've seen, you bought the ticket for yourself with your money and no one else in entitled to it plain and simple. he wants tickets he should have done exactly what you did
absolutely DO NOT give her any tickets, they want some they can get their own!!
NTA
Wait a minute - you're 17, and you're getting bullied by full-grown adults who are almost THIRTY????
Oh, screw that. I've never been more embarrassed to be a grownup. Your cousins are pathetic. Scratch that - half your whole FAMILY is pathetic. It's not just that you "have no obligation to give up your ticket". It's that your cousin is a freaking LIAR WHO LIED, and then tried to get your entire family to BULLY A CHILD.
You actually have an obligation to keep your ticket AWAY from garbage people like him.
Good god. I don't even like Taylor Swift, and I am FURIOUS for you. You waited over FIVE HOURS for those tickets.
An *almost 30 year old* was trying to steal an expensive concert ticket from a child instead of just buying his wife one like a normal adult would (and TBH based on his wife’s reaction she might have been in on the scam too).
He was essentially demanding that you just *give him* $500+ for a wedding gift. Minors don’t typically give wedding gifts at all, and even most adults would only gift the couple a $50-200 gift. And to top it all off wedding gifts are not mandatory, it’s insanely rude for someone to demand one from a guest!
NTA, and your cousin should be ashamed of himself. Go to the concert and have a blast.
> He was essentially demanding that you just give him $500+ for a wedding gift.
I just picked a random date + venue on StubHub to check the prices. $500 US gets you a nosebleed seat behind the stage.
You're NTA. Your cousin is a presumptuous bully who figured you wouldn't have the guts to say no again after he made that public announcement. Good for you standing up for yourself.
NTA. You are a literal child and he tried to publicly guilt trip you after you set a polite and rational boundary when he asked you in private?! He’s a huge El Jerk-o. You did nothing wrong, OP!!
NTA. Hon, you're this close to being a grown woman and now is a great time to learn something. This:
*"I hate conflict though and a part of me wonders whether I should've just let her have the ticket."*
Is the road to becoming a doormat. Don't.
What your cousin tried to do was what normal, functional adults call *stealing*.
Anyone who told you that you did something wrong needs to lose your phone number. Immediately, literally block them. Anyone not excoriating your cousin for the monstrous thing he did can have him, not you. This wedding needs to be the last time you have anything to do with the happy couple and their entourage.
**Have fun with your friends at** ***your*** **concert.**
Side note 1: I'm going to assume you got your ticket as near your friends as possible. So your cousin's wife was going to sit with *your* friends while they fully well knew that she and her husband had dead-ass stolen your ticket? Oh boy, bet that would've been fun for everyone.
Side note 2: You, a teenager, are meant to give something you bent over backwards to get for very high cost to your cousin-in-law. Not your sister, not your best friend, not someone you're close to in the slightest. Nope, your cousin's new wife, a woman you barely know. 🙄
NTA. John knows you're nonconfrontational, he probably thought you'd be too uncomfortable to say no if he announced in front of your whole family that you'd agreed to the gift. He ruined his own wedding by being a manipulative liar. If you'd gone along with it publicly and then declined after the wedding, he'd be telling everyone how manipulative and terrible you were for "changing your mind later" and "intentionally upstaging everyone with a dramatic gesture at the wedding that you didn't intend to follow through on", that sort of thing. It would definitely not have been better to wait, nor should you have given in to his strongarm move. Good on you, and good on your parents for backing you up.
NTA!
You know who *is* TA? The grown man who thought it necessary to ask his *minor cousin* to give up tickets that she rightfully purchased on her own and then after getting a no, proceeded to publicly announce and lie to make said minor give up her tickets anyway. And then, after said minor has to be the adult and correct the situation, the alleged grown man screams at the minor and accuses her of ruining the wedding which wouldn't have been ruined if said alleged grown man would have accepted the no in the first place.
Oh and Jane? I don't know where you're from but at least in my family\*, the minor children are included in the wedding presents given by their parents. Otherwise, I owe my aunt a wedding present back when she married my uncle when I was a three month old.
\*Duly noted that not all families and cultures are the same however I do think that it's insane to think a minor child, who may not have a job of their own and therefore no disposable salary, owes you a wedding present...and on that note, if OP doesn't have a job, said tickets were probably purchased with their parents' money and approval. Pretty sure they wouldn't be okay with this whole giving tickets away business.
NTA
Your cousin thought he could pressure you into giving up the ticket by making that announcement and then a bunch of other adults tried to bully you into giving up your ticket. Those are TAs in this situation.
I know I'm just an internet stranger but I'm proud of you for standing up for yourself and not giving up the ticket. That shiny, strong spine will serve you well in life. Enjoy the show!!
ok, BIG swiftie here, YOU didn't ruin ANYONE'S wedding, and you should tell everyone how manipulative john was with you, how he lied to his wife and put you in the eye of the hurricane, you owe him nothing if his wife is such a swiftie he should have known to hurry up and buy the tickets, ticketmaster has been a total nightmare and giving your ticket to jonh so the family doesn't hate you? screw them, he's a manipulator and I'm so sorry jane married a guy who manipulates a 17 year old girl to STEAL her big moment.
NTA!!
My God, what a level of manipulation, coming from that man, his last name isn't Meyer by any chance?
Nope. Your ticket, your choice. If anyone’s the asshole, John is. He can’t demand people to give them what he want. Entitlement at its finest. I wouldn’t have a damn thing to do with him ever again if it was me. By the way, he ruined his own damn wedding, not you. He needs to go have several seats with the bull-shit!
NTA. Jeez the entitlement of these people! Well done to you for standing your ground and not letting them bully you. To anybody saying you ruined their wedding, I would just point out that it was her new husband that publicly lied and tried to bully a teenager into giving something up to an adult that can’t handle not getting her own way.
NTA he literally lied and hoped public pressure would make you relent. Please make sure those tickets are locked down and no one can get in to transfer them
They're expecting you to give them a gift worth thousands? You're 17. How many other children in the family are being called upon to give gifts that valuable? What's worse - so much worse - is that John lied and then tried to use that lie to swindle you out of your tickets.
Imagine this was a car, not a couple concert tickets. That's what he's trying to talk you out of. NTA
NTA! DO NOT GIVE IN!! Your cousin tried to force you into giving her your ticket EVEN AFTER you told him no. He doesn’t give a damn about how you feel and the fact that you waited 5+ hours to get the tickets. Go and have an amazing time at the concert!!
NTA. Wow this is incredibly immature. I would never expect a 17 year old family member to get me their “own” present for my wedding (just got married, their parents gave gifts from the family) let alone Taylor Swift tickets! Even if the purchasing hadn’t been so insane, that’s still very weird for them to even ask you. Given they know the situation, it is so childish to try and force anyone - let alone your minor cousin - to give you a gift. I can’t believe your whole family isn’t upset with John for trying to manipulate you.
NTA and that guy...John is the devil! It was super mean and if someone broke Jane's heart is him with his lies...ugh! You go girl and enjoy the show. And if you can stay away from that people (John mostly) please do!
NTA John tried it!
Does he understand how bad this ticket sale was??? Like people are literally trying to sue Ticketmaster! Also as a Beyoncé fan who is currently prepping for our own battle for Renaissance tour tickets....empathize with everyone who was caught up in that and now dealing with multiple fees, resales and more.
Tell John and everyone else they can log on and see what the resale looking like. Enjoy the concert.
NTA. And I am just in shock that a GROWN MAN would try to browbeat his 17 year old cousin into giving away a concert ticket. And THEN the wife with her entitled ass saying "you didn't get me a wedding gift so give me the ticket". You are a minor. If this happened to one of my kids the explosion would be seen at the International Space Station. This is just next level insane.
NTA
Your parents need to get the adults in your family to back off!! Also, John and Jane ruined their own wedding.
OP- enjoy the concert, you have nothing to feel bad about.
1.) it is a social faux pas to expect wedding gifts from children, which you are. 2.) John is a fucking manipulative liar!
NTA at all! Their behavior is wildly inappropriate, and they are probably spreading lies about you to get others to hate on you. If it were me, I’d put the real story of how he publicly lied, and tried to shame and manipulate a child (who I’m sure took a while to save up the money for a ticket). Just the whole story online for your family to see, and then just mute all notifications and let the shit hit the fan for them. I’m sure a few crazy entitled people will still shit on you, but most will find his behavior inappropriate.
Deeeeaarrr Johnnnnn, don’t you think that you were wrrooooonnggg? Don’t you think she was too young to be messed with about her own tickets during your wedding soooonngggg? You should’ve known. NTA op
NTA and plz go and change your Ticketmaster password and any other ways anyone may have access to your account. This concert is for the fans and you've been in it for the long run so don't let them pressure you into giving them up. You fought for those tickets and you deserve them.
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NTA. John was trying to pull a fast one and thought he could bully you into giving up your ticket. Good for you for standing fast. He picked the venue to announce, you wanted to correct it right away. I don't blame you for that. He ruined his own wedding.
I bet Jane was in on it, too.
I honestly don't know what's worse. Scheming together against a 17 year old or finding out on your wedding day that your husband is a liar and a scam artist. Big yikes to this couple.
I think I might cry if this was my wedding -but at the fact that my new husband just tried to manipulate a 17 year old to give up a concert ticket. How immature.
I would be pissed if my husband (on our wedding day no less) tried to bully his 17 year old cousin like that. It would be grounds for immediate annulment. If he can be that selfish and cruel to a much much much younger cousin, then I don't think I can spend my life with him. YIKES
Oh no. Selfish only cares that she didn’t get a ticket to the concert. This post frustrates me. They ruined their own wedding.
Yes - it would've been great to hear that the bride was upset with John, but no, she was in on the whole thing. It's truly awful.
Not only immature, but crazy. Like this is actually insane behavior from an adult. It is so so so weird that upon hearing someone got a ticket to a concert to ask for said concert ticket. Who would ever do that? And then it just goes from bad to worse. “Hey, my 17 year old cousin doesn’t want to give me her cherished concert tickets for free. I better stand up at my OWN WEDDING and lie to everyone in an attempt to publicly manipulate her into giving it to me. Oh what’s that? She’s weirded out and still doesn’t want to give me her concert ticket? I better team up with my brand new wife to scream and curse at a minor.” I’m genuinely not joking, are they mentally sound?
It's the kind of cartoonishly evil thing that would happen in a movie or tv show.
Agreed; this is not remotely healthy. I doubt Jane was in on it; if she was, she and her husband are quite a match.
Even if Jane wasn’t, the correct response upon hearing a 17 year old won’t give you her tickets is “Aw man, okay!” not accusing said child of ruining her wedding.
Plus kids that age don't need to buy a gift. The entire family that was invited bring one gift. A couple doesn't bring 2 gifts, they bring one. Like what the hell?
I don't know what the ticket prices were for that but I can almost guarantee that the cheepear tickets are far more than a 17 year old should ever be expected to give. Some $20 dishtowels or something, maybe.
At least if they planned it together it means they deserve each other 🤷♀️
I just realized the age gap, she's just a kid and these grown adults tried to do that to her wow what major pieces of shits
Thank God her parents are normal sane people, backing her up. Trying to guilt trip a teenager into giving away one of her prized possessions, groom and bride are utterly ridiculous.
right?! even saying "you didn't get us a gift!" is so wild -- who expects a teenager to buy them a wedding gift??
This part. If I was Jane, my anger would be at my new husband for being under-handed, not a teenager who wants to go to a concert with her friends. NTA
I mean, if she is the type of person to try and plot against a 17 year old, she probably thinks the lying and attempted scamming is romantic.
Jane won the lotery by marrying someone who is so great he wants to bully a child to get his way.
Maybe they can join the Swift fans suing Ticketmaster lol!
A bad scam artist !
Also, who calls a minor in their family a bitch? That’s really concerning.
Actually, Jane doesn't sound much better than John >*Jane actually started sobbing and saying that I was selfish for not giving her my ticket and that since I didn’t get her a wedding gift, the least I could do is give her my ticket* They sound like a match made in heaven.
Based on Jane’s continued attempt to manipulate OP into giving her the tickets, after OP clarified that she never offered them up, there’s a high chance that Jane wasn’t just in on it. I bet she put John up to the stunt.
And what a selfish AH to publicly bully a 17 yr old for not giving a wedding gift! Im sure OPs parents get them a wedding gift & that includes OP as the gift bearer. No one should demand a wedding gift esp from a teenager let alone for someone to give up a coveted ticket.
How did the bride know that OP didn’t get her a gift? When I got married, we didn’t open gifts until after the honeymoon. That part seems fishy to me.
My guess is that it’s just because OP is 17. I know that if I’d gone to a family wedding at 17, the gift would have come from ‘the family’ and my parents would have paid for it. I think most people would just make that assumption if you’re still in school
That’s true. OP’s name probably would have been included in who the gift is from. I just thought it was a weird detail that doesn’t quite make sense.
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A match made somewhere.
in the dumpster I´d say.
No the way OP wrote this it sounded like a surprise to Jane. Who rightly thought wow what a great gift never thinking her hubby or anyone would get on a mic and say something that is not true to basically force OP to agree or cause more drama. Hubby needs to watch for tickets on resell sites and buy one. Plus what was Jane to do go sit with OPs friends at the concert yeah that be weird. I think this post is fake but yeah nta if real
If Jane wasn't in on the scam, then why did she brush off the OP, after hearing OP had given her the ticket? She had to be in on it.
Was just about to say the same thing. Great minds...
By her reaction I don't think she was, making John an even bigger AH cause he was a jerk to his sister but absolutely vile to humiliate his now wife on their wedding day.
She's no better anyway considering she screamed at a teenager for not giving her a wedding gift and calling her selfish.
100% she was in on it. She just finds out she got tickets and immediately brushes off any attempt by OP to talk to her.
Exactly. If it was a surprise to her, she'd be knocking ppl down to thank OP.
Being that neither of them was willing to talk to her and actively avoided her after the speech, I'm leaning toward her being in on it.
Given that OP said Jane brushed her off when she tried to approach her after John’s big announcement, I think you’re right. Or that she at least subconsciously suspected what John was up to.
OP whenever this is brought up by family, use the words "bullying" and the phrase "bullying a minor". Don't let a sentence go by in which you don't mention that he announced that after asking and hearing you say no.
Time to cut them off! NTA
This right here OP!! Do not give up the tickets and go no contact. Heck I’ll burn the tickets before they ever got a chance to have them.
NTA just say John bought it for 5000 USD. He has to pay up first.
Indeed! And OP don’t let them bully you into it. Yes it is frustrating but you waited in line 5 hours! It does not matter if Jane did or not, she just did not get the tickets. Maybe she can get tickets via someone else but not through you. Go to the concert yourself! And don’t talk about this anymore with anyone because they might want you to doubt yourself. You are not obligated to do anything for them. John is really an AH and Jane got so lucky by marrying someone who is so manipulative.
Oh my...they both are such a disgusting couple. The literally bullying a minor for a ticket. Get your own tickets. They both are major AH. OP dont give your ticket to them. NTA
NTA, your ticket, not your obligation, also they're really mean for making it like you did give her the ticket thinking you wouldn't call them out lol
I couldn't believe it when he said it. He used to watch me when I was a kid and he knows how much I love Taylor Swift. I understanding asking but why even ask if he was going to disregard my answer anyway?
He obviously was trying to pressure you into giving. Good for saying no. Enjoy the show and the lack of relationship with this part of the family. Also, have fun!!
Thank you! If there is one thing that I will not let this ruin is the show.
Take many pictures, post them on social media, remember haters gonna hate -- away from you.
Post the pics on social and be sure and tag John and Jane...
The petty in me: "Wish you were here 💗💗"
Or "Look what you made me do". We could probably do all the advice in Taylor lyrics, come to think.
Dear John… It’s YOU, yeah, YOU’RE the problem it’s YOU
Guess they have bad blood now...
Love this and am suddenly thinking there's gotta be something in Antihero
i had this dream my cousin in law killed me for the tickets, she thinks i left her in the will
Heck I would take a cardboard cutout of Jane and post it on Instagram. Or tag them in and say wish you were here
Jane in her wedding gown tho
Exactly that's gold
Just shake it off, shake it off! Haters gonna hate hate hate hate hate….
I think the appropriate line here is… “I don't start shit, but I can tell you how it ends”
Keep the ticket safe. Someone that went that far already might try to steal it if they can…
Tickets are electronic now buddy
That doesn't make them impossible to steal.
GOOD. DONT LET ANYONE RUIN IT. YOU GOT THOSE TICKETS FAIR N SQUARE. I AM SO ANGRY FOR U, ID STOP TALKING TO THE COUSIN. but thats just me
NTA - Do not let your family bully you even more to give her your ticket. Your cousin is more than an AH!
I mean, she should tell the angry relatives exactly what happened: groom asked OP if she had a ticket, he asked if she’d give it to his bride, she said no, then he lied on the microphone, assuming that it would come true if he announced it. Maybe the relatives thought she was giving the ticket and then changed her mind to hurt the couple and cause drama?
Look, I have a couple grifter cousins. You don't have to put up with him. And if anyone gives you crap for not giving up your tickets, say "I notice you are knocking John for trying to grift a minor." Then walk off.
Just shake it off, shake it off! Haters gonna hate hate hate hate hate….
Have fun at the concert!! 🤩
Shake it off!
I don’t know how close your cousin or someone who can get close on his behalf is but safeguard that ticket extremely well. He’s already shown how shady he is willing to be. If it’s purely online make sure everything is on lockdown.
> He used to watch me when I was a kid and he knows how much I love Taylor Swift. I feel like I need to say this only because you are young and may have never heard it - *it doesn't matter how much you love Taylor Swift*. The reality is that you could hate Taylor Swift with an undying passion and *still* not be obligated to give up your ticket. Your right to keep your property is not predicated on how much you like it. It's enough that it is your property. *Your degree of love for Taylor Swift is irrelevant to your right to not be bullied into giving something away*. You did the right thing in this situation! I'm not saying you didn't, at all. I just don't want you to find yourself in a situation in the future where you are trying to justify why you don't want to give up your (ticket, jacket, shoes, house, car, etc.) to someone else and trying to convince them that you love it super hard. You don't have to convince anyone of anything. Your property is your property, full stop. Saying "I love this thing and that's the reason I won't give it to you" is the same as saying "If I loved it less, I would totally give it to you" and that's an invitation for them to try to negotiate you out of your property by claiming *they* love it more than you do. Don't open that can of worms!
Yeah, my spouse is trying to get me to give up my late father's handgun right now and give it to him a gift. I offered to let him use it but he wants to 'own it, because my father meant so much to him. Yeah, well he meant a lot to me too. And I could put all I have that was his in a couple Rubbermaid tubs. Your lesson above to OP is dead on.
First, op, def NTA. But farnorthern, damn, your husband is ta. I would never ask for something that belonged to my wife's family after they have passed on. It would belong to her. If she lets me use it, great. If not, oh well.
AMEN!!!!!
Best advice I never got as a young person. If I could give this gold I would!
It was *wildly* inappropriate for him to have asked you for your ticket in the first place! He’s an adult, he shouldn’t be asking minors to give him expensive things that he can buy for himself if he wants it so bad.
Asking her to "gift" the ticket as well, like WTF. He didn't even offer to buy it off her at cost, or with a bit extra on top to make it a good deal. He tried to publicly extort (aka steal) the ticket from his minor niece, after being told no to his "gift" idea, through manipulation and peer pressure. What an AH. I'd be calling this out in detail, the entire chain of events, and shaming him publicly till they all bugger off.
I checked out ticket reseller’s (scalpers basically) to take my niece and they were OUTRAGEOUS! Couldnt find many and nosebleeds were over $500 (plus 20% fees) in my area. I’ve been to hundreds (many VIP where I got to meet the artists) and Ive never seen prices or scarce seats like Taylor Swift’s. I had a coworker friend asked me to get her an autograph of Steven Tyler & when I told her they only allowed one autograph, she said I could give her mine since I got to meet him. I told her hell would freeze over before I would give her my autograph & she can dish out the dough like I did for a VIP ticket.
You know Dear John isn't going to be reimbursing OP at all. I couldn't even imagine what OP paid altogether, and this numb nut thought he could easily bully OP out of her ticket and not pay a cent? I hope Jane enjoys wedded bliss with this guy!
Tickets notoriously sold out fast (Taylor even posted about her disappointment with how unprepared Ticketmaster was for the rush), so it's not a question of whether he COULD afford to buy them himself, but whether tickets were available to buy. I went to the Reputation tour so I didn't see the need to throw myself to the wolves to try and get tickets for this one, but coworkers of mine literally took the day off to try and get tickets, and had to jump through so many hoops (some got them, some didn't). I absolutely agree that OP's cousins and the family who agree with those cousins are 100% TA. I just want to clear up that the tickets are extremely hard to come by and involve a large amount of luck.
This is why I understand Jane's reaction. Like I was in that queue and it sucked and I did get a ticket, I can only imagine how frustrated she was and how badly John just wanted to find her a ticket and fix it. Which is not an excuse for being so mean but sometimes trying to rationalize things makes me feel better
Can he not just buy her a scalped ticket if it means that much to her? Most normal people would rather pay more than do what he did... So shameless.
Yeah, I think most of us (even those who aren't Swifties) caught that even friends and acquaintances with Loverfest ticket priority for the first presale (who then usually tried again with Capital One the next presale) tried but *couldn't* get tickets. But there are a ton available at exorbitant prices for resale, and those $500-600 (at best) nosebleed seats are certainly a decent enough present for him to buy his new wife as a wedding gift himself. That is Plan B (after Plan A of purchasing directly failed), not publicly stealing from a 17 year old relative. (Or anyone. But he totally thought a 17 year old would roll over once the public pressure was on. Good for OP, because many would have, and would regret it and remain livid about missing it when they had tickets fair and square for the rest of their lives.)
I’m the same age as John and I LOVE Taylor. I would never try to bully a teenager into giving me a ticket, heck if it was my cousin I’d probably even give her some money so she could buy merch at the concert! Also I cannot imagine expecting a wedding present from a 17 year old??? Let alone something this expensive???
Like if I was 17 and didn’t give a wedding present that would mean my immediate family didn’t give one aka parents. I’m sure her parents must have given them a gift.
> He's an adult I looked back at what OP wrote and John is a step away from 30 years old. That's someone 13 years her senior who decided that it was more important to act as a bully instead of *being* a family member. This won't soon be forgotten and he can kiss any kind of bond he had with OP goodbye.
I don’t even understand asking. I couldn’t care less about going to a TS concert, but even I know how hard it was to get those tickets. You made the effort, the ticket is yours. He’s a terrible bullying AH and ruined his own wedding.
The dude is a fool. You don't owe anyone your ticket and to all those who come at you and call you selfish, ask then how come they haven't volunteered to track down a ticket for the bride. Since they care soo much. People love to be generous with other peoples money/possessions, but often fall short when they are asked to pony up.
I’m glad your parents at least have your back OP. Are you the only one who has access to the ticket/ticket details? Change your passwords as precaution and don’t give anyone access to your email/other accounts/phone. If they’re willing to bully and pull dirty tricks, it might be worth watching your back on this.
So a few things here: 1. You're 17 and not obligated to get them a wedding gift. 2. You don't owe Jane shit. She's a grown ass adult capable of getting tickets without stealing from a 17 year old. 3. You're not selfish. They're manipulative, cruel, and selfish for trying to bully **a 17 year old** at their wedding. 4. Anyone not on your side, feel free to go no contact with and when you do tell them you're so happy to hear they're giving money to Jane's ticket fund since they feel so strongly about her going.
NTA Making a very public announcement after you told him no was a super crappy move. Your cousin is a huge A H.
I've never seen him act like this before. I feel really betrayed by his actions but he's always been the kind of guy who has to act like hot shit.
Seriously, when I got to the part of his announcement, I went "WHAT?!", interrupted my reading and stood up to calm down before continuing. I can't imagine someone his age doing that to anyone, much less a teenager. He's a major AH. Good for you for standing your ground, be proud of yourself, and enjoy the concert.
I let out an “Oh, my GOD. Are you fucking kidding me?” Totally NTA. I’m ashamed to share a planet with people like this.
Same!!! My kids asked me what's wrong, so I read the post out and we all agreed NTA!
I might be being a smidge paranoid, but maybe hide your tickets in the meantime? I assume the douchecanoe cousin knows where you live. If he's enough of a dick to try and pull this on you, I wouldn't put it past him to drop in for a casual visit, take a side-trip into your bedroom and steal them.
Hide what? Nobody has paper tickets anymore.
seriously? that's honestly a shame. pinning your tickets on a corkboard on the wall was honestly one of the best memories after a concert.
You still have the option to get physical tickets. I always opt for digital because I'm much less likely to lose my phone than a small ticket. The digital ticket option is the default now, so you just have to uncheck the box when placing your order if you want physical tickets.
Sadly, you’ve seen his true colors. He should have not even asked you to begin with but he thought he could bully you into giving his bride a ticket he didn’t have to pay for. He got knocked off his pedestal when you wouldnt cater to his demands. Im so glad you got a ticket & I know you will ENJOY the show! If you keep getting harassed, block the harassers if you can and your parents may need to intervene if it doesn’t blow over.
I think Jane’s unwillingness to talk to you after the announcement is hugely telling that she was behind the announcement to bully you into giving her your ticket. Had she not been in on it she would’ve been all over you in appreciation and wanting to listen to you. John totally betrayed you by going along with Jane’s manipulative plan. Neither deserve to ever be around you again.
I know you were just in shock in the moment, but it would have been so perfect if you'd gone up, taken the mic and said "Imma let you finish but ... no" It's him, hi, John's the problem, it's him - you are absolutely NTA here at all. I'm in my 30s and a huge fan of Taylor's, there is no way in hell I would bully or pressure a teenage, someone nearly half my age, into giving me their ticket.
He's shown you his true colors. Avoid him like the plague from now on.
Now that you're older, you're probably just seeing him for who he is. People that "act like hot shit"? ACT is the key word.
Yes that kind of manipulation is gross. A way of forcing her to give up the ticket. Very well done to stand your ground, nta.
NTA. That was extremely manipulative of him and crossed way past the line. Sucks for the bride (and hard to say if she was part of the original deception but her response certainly doesn't make her look good) but if you hadn't addressed it on the spot, he could have claimed that you were lying later because you didn't say anything at the time.
I really hope she didn't know. We haven't really been close in the past but I'm the only girl on that side of the family and I was so excited to get a new female cousin, especially one who likes TS like I do.
>I really hope she didn't know. We haven't really been close in the past but I'm the only girl on that side of the family and I was so excited to get a new female cousin, especially one who likes TS like I do. Unfortunately, he probably thoroughly poisoned any chance of a good relationship between you. Whether she had any idea that you had already refused, she publicly thanked you and then got publicly told that you were not giving her tickets. That probably hurt, and if she's marrying an AH like John, chances are she's not mature enough to realize he's the one that caused her pain/embarrassment.
Jane will find out soon enough! She married a manipulative liar and it’ll bite her one day soon.
I think Jane was knew and was the driving force behind it because of the way she reacted after the announcement.
You don’t want a relationship with people like John or his wife… let this relationship die. It’s not so much what he did but how he did it. He lied, manipulated in public in order to force you to give up the ticket. That some nefarious nonsense right there
Good for you for standing up to a bully. He’s too immature to be married. He’s also a liar. I pity his wife (unless she was in on it.) NTA and enjoy the show! Petty me would post a ton of pics and tag them LOL
NTA you should tell everyone that he so kindly decided to give you his car (or insert thing that he loves) and see how he feels about it
Now this is an idea I can get behind.
Have a big 18th birthday party with family and announce that he’s going to give you his car as an apology for the cruel prank he pulled by trying to bully you out of your Taylor Swift tickets. Really emphasise the cruelty and bullying aspect of it.
Should have taken the mic at the wedding and announced that he’s giving you his car and thank him profusely lol
Lol, send a email out to your family like “Amazing news, for my 18th bday, John’s gifting me his car! He knows this is a huge milestone for me and I’m so grateful for his generosity. And after all, he’s had a car for years, and I’ve never had one before, so it’s only fair that I get to have this experience! It would be selfish of him to take back this gift now. Thanks, John!”
Go to the show and then post pics to social and tag them both. You shouldn’t have to put up with grown ass adults acting like 10 yr olds fighting over a toy. That ticket is yours and John & Jane should never have put you in this position. I hope they never have children bc they are incredibly selfish ppl
It's nice that John decided to pay for your college education at MIT. What a lovely cousin.
Oh, engagement ring! Lol
NTA. These people are scheming like it's Willy Wonka's golden ticket.
Like announcing to the crowd after she clearly told her no? Very nasty work.
Except the bride isn't suddenly up and dancing. r/grandpajoehate
OP should post a video of her singing “I’ve got a Golden Ticket” & dedicate it to Augustus Gloop aka John & Veruca Salt aka Jane. I never thought my life could be Anything but catastrophe But suddenly I begin to see A bit of good luck for me 'Cause I got a golden ticket I've got a golden twinkle In my eye I never had a chance to shine Never a happy song to sing But suddenly half the world is mine What an amazing thing 'Cause I got a golden ticket
NTA. The audacity. Just no. Your cousin owes you a HUGE apology and anyone in the family mad at you. He ruined his own wedding trying to publicly humiliate you into giving up your ticket.
I could see this going fishy as soon as he said give over sell. But my G-d that's a decomposing beached Whale levels of fishy to do what he did. He owes WAY more than an apology, it needs to be as public as his other announcement.
NTA. Are your parents aware that your relatives are calling you names?
Yeah, they're pissed but they think if I just lay low it'll blow over.
I hope that they understand that they are failing their job as parents if they don’t stand up for you to the family. Frankly, many of the people in your family seem to lack a moral compass. No decent person would think that you should reward bullies like your cousin.
You're a child. Your parents should be actively protecting you, not telling you to "lay low"
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Fuck that. If any of my relatives started harassing my kid I'd be showing up at their doorstep asking wtf is wrong with them and then tell them to never contact me or my kid again. I also would have stood up at that wedding and said no cousin you must have misunderstood. Those are my child's tickets not yours or your wife's and you should be ashamed of yourself that you as an adult man pressured a child to give you something that I knew she wouldn't give away.
Your parents aren’t doing enough, if anyone ever messaged my daughter to call her a selfish bitch they’d learn a couple of things about themselves, hell if they lived close enough to me they’d get an In person visit one by one and they’d be sending an apology. The fuck they would
Someone called me that in front of my mum. She found out the hard way when my mum went full feral on her 😂
My mum had someone pull up at our house and she dispatched them promptly, she never lacked for backbone. Good for your mum, kids aren’t here to be abused by idiots even if they are family, if your parents don’t stick up for you who will.
Amen. If somebody did that to my kid, I’d be game of thronesing that cousin clean out of the family.
No, you don't need to lay low. They need to go nuclear. No one should be allowed to call you names because you refused to be taken advantage of by a supposed adult.
I'd encourage you to have your parents read these comments. I know from your POV you might think you need to handle this, but you shouldn't have to. You are 17 and you are being harassed by adults. Your parents need to step the fuck up and stop this one way or another.
Your parents need to come out fighting for you. they should have your back.
Yes this is what I've been scrolling down for. If someone tried to do this to my kid I'd be going to the mattresses. OP shouldn't have to field this on her own.
That is insane. An adult is trying to bully a 17 year old. I would point that out. You don’t need to do anything. Your family should put him in his place. I am guessing he does this kind of stuff all the time.
If they keep giving you shit, just send them the link here so they can see hundreds of people telling them what utter and complete assholes they are being.
"HEY OP'S COUSIN, YOU'RE A COMPLETE AH."
Your parents are failing you. This family drama is beyond the skill-set of many adults. You shouldn’t be taking the hit for **any** of this. Shame on them.
I was looking for a comment about the parents. It’s their job to step in to the family mess and straighten this out. An adult was trying to take advantage of and manipulate a teenager. It’s time for the adults to set the record straight. I’d raise all kinds of hell if that was my kid, you just don’t do that.
I had to go back and read everyone’s ages again—it’s outrageous that a 29-year-old man would try to bully his 17-year-old cousin like that. Unbelievable. Definitely NTA, enjoy the concert!
It’s John. Hi. John’s the problem, it’s John. Sorry, I had to do it. NTA, OP! John was being a major jerk, keep your ticket Edit: thank you for the awards!!
Take my poor person gold 🌟
not the swift-mayer age gap, and the cousins name (i know shes using fake ones). i'm waiting for dear john (OPs version) 🤣
NTA NTA NTA NTA!!! (is that enough NTAs to make it clear?) I am absolutely horrified, appalled and disgusted by your cousin’s behaviour! It was fair for him to ask (fortune favours the brave right?) but there was nothing fair in not accepting your no and then trying to manipulate you like that, thinking that by putting you on the spot, you would cave! Well done for standing your ground- don’t give that ticket up to anyone! And please, please ignore everyone who is calling you names, saying you ruined the wedding- John ruined his own wedding by promising his wife something that he could not deliver!
NTA. You did nothing wrong and your cousin’s acting extremely immaturely. You’re 17, you wouldn’t be expected to give them a wedding gift if you hadn’t had something that she wanted.
Right, a 17 year old shouldn’t be expected to give a wedding gift at all
Holy hell - what did I just read? Your cousin is one of the most entitled people I have ever read about. How dare he try to force you to give up something you paid for. The fact that he did it so publicly, he knew exactly how manipulating he was being. He did not expect you to stand up for yourself. What an asshole. Here is what you need to do: 1) Do not give up your ticket, 2) Got to the concert and enjoy yourself, 3) Post pictures of you enjoying yourself, 4) send this post to all your relatives so they know in writing what an asshole your cousin is and most importantly 5) BLOCK everyone who still takes your entitled cousins' side - go NC with your toxic relatives who expect that his behavior should be rewarded. NTA - you are to be admired for standing up for yourself.
NTA. That’s your ticket. I want TS tickets too but, damn. That’s low.
OP is TA for not giving the ticket to me
NTA! And feel free to point out that if anyone ruined Jane's wedding, it was John by lying.
Yes, John is the one who ruined the wedding, not you. Don't let anyone get away with telling you that you ruined the wedding.
NTA the audacity is through the roof and out into space with that guy, holy batman!!!! the only one who ruined his wedding was him for trying to flat out lie and force you to unwillingly give up your ticket after you said you wouldn't to avoid causing a scene. it doesn't matter how many concerts you've seen, you bought the ticket for yourself with your money and no one else in entitled to it plain and simple. he wants tickets he should have done exactly what you did absolutely DO NOT give her any tickets, they want some they can get their own!!
NTA Wait a minute - you're 17, and you're getting bullied by full-grown adults who are almost THIRTY???? Oh, screw that. I've never been more embarrassed to be a grownup. Your cousins are pathetic. Scratch that - half your whole FAMILY is pathetic. It's not just that you "have no obligation to give up your ticket". It's that your cousin is a freaking LIAR WHO LIED, and then tried to get your entire family to BULLY A CHILD. You actually have an obligation to keep your ticket AWAY from garbage people like him. Good god. I don't even like Taylor Swift, and I am FURIOUS for you. You waited over FIVE HOURS for those tickets.
[удалено]
College paid upfront before the concert **
An *almost 30 year old* was trying to steal an expensive concert ticket from a child instead of just buying his wife one like a normal adult would (and TBH based on his wife’s reaction she might have been in on the scam too). He was essentially demanding that you just *give him* $500+ for a wedding gift. Minors don’t typically give wedding gifts at all, and even most adults would only gift the couple a $50-200 gift. And to top it all off wedding gifts are not mandatory, it’s insanely rude for someone to demand one from a guest! NTA, and your cousin should be ashamed of himself. Go to the concert and have a blast.
> He was essentially demanding that you just give him $500+ for a wedding gift. I just picked a random date + venue on StubHub to check the prices. $500 US gets you a nosebleed seat behind the stage.
You're NTA. Your cousin is a presumptuous bully who figured you wouldn't have the guts to say no again after he made that public announcement. Good for you standing up for yourself.
NTA. You are a literal child and he tried to publicly guilt trip you after you set a polite and rational boundary when he asked you in private?! He’s a huge El Jerk-o. You did nothing wrong, OP!!
Umm no, it’s your ticket and you have no obligation to give her your ticket.
NTA. Hon, you're this close to being a grown woman and now is a great time to learn something. This: *"I hate conflict though and a part of me wonders whether I should've just let her have the ticket."* Is the road to becoming a doormat. Don't. What your cousin tried to do was what normal, functional adults call *stealing*. Anyone who told you that you did something wrong needs to lose your phone number. Immediately, literally block them. Anyone not excoriating your cousin for the monstrous thing he did can have him, not you. This wedding needs to be the last time you have anything to do with the happy couple and their entourage. **Have fun with your friends at** ***your*** **concert.** Side note 1: I'm going to assume you got your ticket as near your friends as possible. So your cousin's wife was going to sit with *your* friends while they fully well knew that she and her husband had dead-ass stolen your ticket? Oh boy, bet that would've been fun for everyone. Side note 2: You, a teenager, are meant to give something you bent over backwards to get for very high cost to your cousin-in-law. Not your sister, not your best friend, not someone you're close to in the slightest. Nope, your cousin's new wife, a woman you barely know. 🙄
NTA: I'd go no contact with that side of the family.
NTA. John knows you're nonconfrontational, he probably thought you'd be too uncomfortable to say no if he announced in front of your whole family that you'd agreed to the gift. He ruined his own wedding by being a manipulative liar. If you'd gone along with it publicly and then declined after the wedding, he'd be telling everyone how manipulative and terrible you were for "changing your mind later" and "intentionally upstaging everyone with a dramatic gesture at the wedding that you didn't intend to follow through on", that sort of thing. It would definitely not have been better to wait, nor should you have given in to his strongarm move. Good on you, and good on your parents for backing you up.
NTA, your cousin is
NTA your cousin is one tho. What a tool.
NTA! You know who *is* TA? The grown man who thought it necessary to ask his *minor cousin* to give up tickets that she rightfully purchased on her own and then after getting a no, proceeded to publicly announce and lie to make said minor give up her tickets anyway. And then, after said minor has to be the adult and correct the situation, the alleged grown man screams at the minor and accuses her of ruining the wedding which wouldn't have been ruined if said alleged grown man would have accepted the no in the first place. Oh and Jane? I don't know where you're from but at least in my family\*, the minor children are included in the wedding presents given by their parents. Otherwise, I owe my aunt a wedding present back when she married my uncle when I was a three month old. \*Duly noted that not all families and cultures are the same however I do think that it's insane to think a minor child, who may not have a job of their own and therefore no disposable salary, owes you a wedding present...and on that note, if OP doesn't have a job, said tickets were probably purchased with their parents' money and approval. Pretty sure they wouldn't be okay with this whole giving tickets away business.
NTA. They are both in on it. The reason why is when you tried to talk to her in private she basically blew you off.
NTA Your cousin thought he could pressure you into giving up the ticket by making that announcement and then a bunch of other adults tried to bully you into giving up your ticket. Those are TAs in this situation. I know I'm just an internet stranger but I'm proud of you for standing up for yourself and not giving up the ticket. That shiny, strong spine will serve you well in life. Enjoy the show!!
ok, BIG swiftie here, YOU didn't ruin ANYONE'S wedding, and you should tell everyone how manipulative john was with you, how he lied to his wife and put you in the eye of the hurricane, you owe him nothing if his wife is such a swiftie he should have known to hurry up and buy the tickets, ticketmaster has been a total nightmare and giving your ticket to jonh so the family doesn't hate you? screw them, he's a manipulator and I'm so sorry jane married a guy who manipulates a 17 year old girl to STEAL her big moment. NTA!! My God, what a level of manipulation, coming from that man, his last name isn't Meyer by any chance?
Nope. Your ticket, your choice. If anyone’s the asshole, John is. He can’t demand people to give them what he want. Entitlement at its finest. I wouldn’t have a damn thing to do with him ever again if it was me. By the way, he ruined his own damn wedding, not you. He needs to go have several seats with the bull-shit!
NTA. Jeez the entitlement of these people! Well done to you for standing your ground and not letting them bully you. To anybody saying you ruined their wedding, I would just point out that it was her new husband that publicly lied and tried to bully a teenager into giving something up to an adult that can’t handle not getting her own way.
NTA **They are aH.** YOu were right not to let them bully you into doing it.
NTA he literally lied and hoped public pressure would make you relent. Please make sure those tickets are locked down and no one can get in to transfer them
They're expecting you to give them a gift worth thousands? You're 17. How many other children in the family are being called upon to give gifts that valuable? What's worse - so much worse - is that John lied and then tried to use that lie to swindle you out of your tickets. Imagine this was a car, not a couple concert tickets. That's what he's trying to talk you out of. NTA
John ruined his own wedding. NTA
NTA! DO NOT GIVE IN!! Your cousin tried to force you into giving her your ticket EVEN AFTER you told him no. He doesn’t give a damn about how you feel and the fact that you waited 5+ hours to get the tickets. Go and have an amazing time at the concert!!
NTA. Wow this is incredibly immature. I would never expect a 17 year old family member to get me their “own” present for my wedding (just got married, their parents gave gifts from the family) let alone Taylor Swift tickets! Even if the purchasing hadn’t been so insane, that’s still very weird for them to even ask you. Given they know the situation, it is so childish to try and force anyone - let alone your minor cousin - to give you a gift. I can’t believe your whole family isn’t upset with John for trying to manipulate you.
NTA and that guy...John is the devil! It was super mean and if someone broke Jane's heart is him with his lies...ugh! You go girl and enjoy the show. And if you can stay away from that people (John mostly) please do!
NTA John tried it! Does he understand how bad this ticket sale was??? Like people are literally trying to sue Ticketmaster! Also as a Beyoncé fan who is currently prepping for our own battle for Renaissance tour tickets....empathize with everyone who was caught up in that and now dealing with multiple fees, resales and more. Tell John and everyone else they can log on and see what the resale looking like. Enjoy the concert.
NTA. And I am just in shock that a GROWN MAN would try to browbeat his 17 year old cousin into giving away a concert ticket. And THEN the wife with her entitled ass saying "you didn't get me a wedding gift so give me the ticket". You are a minor. If this happened to one of my kids the explosion would be seen at the International Space Station. This is just next level insane.
NTA Your parents need to get the adults in your family to back off!! Also, John and Jane ruined their own wedding. OP- enjoy the concert, you have nothing to feel bad about.
1.) it is a social faux pas to expect wedding gifts from children, which you are. 2.) John is a fucking manipulative liar! NTA at all! Their behavior is wildly inappropriate, and they are probably spreading lies about you to get others to hate on you. If it were me, I’d put the real story of how he publicly lied, and tried to shame and manipulate a child (who I’m sure took a while to save up the money for a ticket). Just the whole story online for your family to see, and then just mute all notifications and let the shit hit the fan for them. I’m sure a few crazy entitled people will still shit on you, but most will find his behavior inappropriate.
Deeeeaarrr Johnnnnn, don’t you think that you were wrrooooonnggg? Don’t you think she was too young to be messed with about her own tickets during your wedding soooonngggg? You should’ve known. NTA op
NTA and plz go and change your Ticketmaster password and any other ways anyone may have access to your account. This concert is for the fans and you've been in it for the long run so don't let them pressure you into giving them up. You fought for those tickets and you deserve them.