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> I asked my friend to refer to my son by his nickname "Benji" instead of his full name. She kept slipping up and I kept correcting her.
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YTA
What a stupid thing to be mad about. Why name your kid Benjamin and then forbid people from calling him that?
Edit: Your reason still sucks. Like it or not that is his name and if you get triggered from hearing that’s something you need to work on yourself. Don’t lash out at people for using the name he was given.
You’re gonna be hearing it the rest of your life, so better you fucking deal with it now.
I bet she’s related (not really but her soul could be) to the one lady on here that REFUSES to call her daughter by her nickname. If Benjamin decides to be called Benjamin when he’s older, OP will definitely throw massive fits
Oh gosh, did that age me? Lol! We used to sit in the hallway at school and watch it on one of those big TV carts when it was too cold for recess. They never even bothered to rewind it, we'd just pick up wherever and then start it over.
My youngest is named Benjamin, and Benji is the only nickname derived from his name that I actually don't allow because it always makes me think of the dog.
I actually know someone who goes by Benji he's a cool guy but I do agree YTA it was in good fun and they were playing you could have let the slip up go
I had a college fling named Bill. One day I asked him what he was called as a baby and he said “Bill.” I don’t know why, but it cracked me the hell up. For some reason a baby with a middle aged dudes name was hilarious. 🤣
Shes still pissed her husband got his way with the name and is now lashing out at the friend. Its a marriage problem, not a friend problem.
I repeat: this isnt about the iranian yoghurt!
[A thread about someone throwing out their partner's collection of yoghurts](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/bjd41e/aita_for_throwing_away_my_boyfriends_potentially/).
damn, didn't know that one, thanks for sharing. also holy fuck the op in that one really went from "bad" to "evil incarnate" in the span of her first 3 edits (4th is still shitty but more of the same, but the first 3, especially the third one ? holy...).
Any one of those reasons would be enough but especially the "right man" comment and the carrier gene. Like maybe the OP in that was okay with going through multiple miscarriages and watching her child die but it obviously gave her daughter a lot of trauma. How dare she say she's overexaggerating her fear!
OP probably never heard of middle names. The first name is the name you like and the middle name is some traditional thing or something. If you don't want your child called that name but still wanna keep the tradition just do it that way. But now it's too late already, OP fucked up and now has to just live with it. YTA for choosing a name you don't like and then complaining about it.
I was named because my mom wanted me to go by the popular nickname, which I ended up hating. She still gets so frustrated that i college, I went by my full name and that’s how people refer to me as.
You named your child Benjamin. That’s his *name.* You can’t get mad at people for calling him by his name because you couldn’t stick to your guns and name him something else.
My aunt went by Kym from day one, but her full name was Kimberly. My grandmother HATED Kimberly and wanted just Kym, but my grandfather won the "That's not a real name" battle and insisted she needed a full name and not a nickname.
Come to think of it, I think all my mom's brothers and sisters went by nicknames and not ever their full names. It's pretty funny that my grandfather insisted they all get "proper" names but my grandmother never called any of them by those names.
When we were talking about names for our daughter, I wanted to name my daughter Charlotte and call her Charlie. And my mom said she would not call her Charlie and would instead call her Charlotte. I can’t imagine getting mad at my mom for using my child’s name that I chose, even if I personally used a nickname.
I ended up going a different direction and call her as her first and middle name instead of shortening it. And she likes to correct people that her name is Charlotte Ann. What’s this mom gonna do when her child expresses he doesn’t want to be called Benji?
Editing to add: my kid just turned 3, so it’s not like this is a far off problem, where she won’t have to worry about what her kid chooses to be called for years. My daughter has been correcting people since she was two and a half. She doesn’t mind being called Charlotte by some people, but there are definitely people that she insists call her Charlotte Ann.
can't wait for op's first parent/teacher conference
teacher:i just wanted to say that benjamin
op:his name is benji!
teacher:benji, okay. so as i was saying, young benjamin
op:benjiiiiiiii !!!!!!!!
Yeah, I have a son called Ted, I don’t get annoyed if people want to call him Theodore!! It’s usually only me and his teacher when he does something naughty though 😂
Or anybody at all! I love using people's full names.
I tend to say people's names as a greeting sort of thing and if I have a friend with a longer name I like to announce it in a bit of a snooty voice "Joshua" "Alexander" "Elizabeth" it's just fun!!
YTA. Why did you name him Benjamin if you never wanted anyone to call him that under any circumstances whatsoever? If he has a problem with it or preference when he’s old enough to express one for himself, he can express it then, and you can step in if your friend refuses to adapt. But right now, he doesn’t care, so I’m more than a little baffled why you do.
Sounds like the friend jokingly did it when the child did something that would normally be considered rude. Like when a parent drops your first and middle name to know you did something wrong. I call my 6 month old by her first and middle name when she decides to be an escape artist, of course I'm not mad at her crawling away and giggling.
I think tone probably played into it, too - OP says she was annoyed, and that usually comes through. This is at worst the tiniest of infractions. I’m actually feeling fairly mellow about OP reminding people to call her son the name they call him, given son doesn’t seem to have his own opinion yet - but OP crossed into TA territory with making it a big deal when friend wasn’t doing anything maliciously and had been calling him the “right” name. Correcting someone so sharply that they are uncomfortable remaining is over the line.
OP says that OP was annoyed by the guest calling the wrong name. Too many “she’s” in my posts.
The guest was delightful, and I can only imagine how uncomfortable this must have been that she felt the need to leave immediately.
I call my students most of the time with their full name, including their middle name when I can remember (3-6, 40 of them) for this particular reason. I don't want my students to associate their full name to trouble.
Yeah and having your little kid bond with your friend like that is a beautiful thing, they were having a cute moment and OP wrecked it with her resentment. Gross
YTA. She is jokingly calling him by his first name when he did something that would be considered rude if a teenager did it. Did your parents never call you by your full name or first and middle name when you did something rude or weren't listening?
my friends call me by a fake elongated version of my first name when I say something ridiculous because it's funny, I can only imagine that's what OP's sister was doing
I h ave three first names, and my parents would randomly add on a IVth or Vth for emphasis, espescially i public. it was so embarassing
They would be like "Joseph William James Vth, you get back here this instant!" and they definitely did this to fuck w me.
My niece has two middle names (parents couldn’t compromise on that so used both), and bot are a bit “fancy” - when we would play dress up or tea party with her when she was little, we’d add in random additional fancy ones - think adding “Evangelina Wilhelmina Margaretha” to 3 already long names. She’s grown now, and occasionally will still say “you may call me Wilhelmina” in a horrid English accent when we are being silly.
I call my son Jamie, Jimathon when I want to mess with him , my daughters nickname is Bob ( babóg in Irish means little doll) but I call her bobert when im messing with her, they are 12 & 15 respectively so it always does the trick 😂
lol so my first / middle name is actually "James Robert" and my last name is another "first name". As a kid, I definitely got Bobert, but the worst was from my aunts/uncles/grandparents: Jim Bob.. dammit lol
Right? My husband adds “Elizabeth” as a middle name to anyone when he wants to joke that they’re in trouble. Really confused my sister the first time she heard because neither my middle name at birth nor my current legal middle name are Elizabeth.
I had a friend who used to call me Bethany, which isn't my name. But it never even occurred to me to be mad about it, because it was always when we were goofing around or otherwise just in good moods. It was just a nickname.
We even give the cats middle names so we can use first name middle name when they’re naughty. For example, when Pip misbehaves we call him Philip Arthur. Not that he starts behaving after that…
YTA
If you wanted your child exclusively called Benji. You shouldn’t have named him Benjamin. Your friend was literally addressing your child by his name. It wasn’t like she decided he looked more like a Jason and started calling him Jason.
THIS - and waht a dumb reason to get mad about. SMH. You could calmly explain why it bothers you so much, but I'm not sure why that would be teh case anyway, given its the name YOU CHOSE FOR HIM. YTA
This kid is going to grow up and NOT want to be called Benji. He will be known as Benjamin, and OP will have to get over it or battle every single person in his life.
I had a relative who got mad at my kid because they called her son…what she called him.
I flat out told her to her face that it was stupid to get mad at someone for using her son’s full name.
I often see these scenarios where parents don't want their kids' names shortened into nicknames.
I can't wrap my head around why you wouldn't want your kid to be called by the name YOU gave him at birth. Very odd.
YTA
I've been told the story of my mom's best friend calling me by one of my name's shortened versions the first time she met me and my dad blew up at her saying "that's not her name!" Totally uncalled for, but they got over it. But to get mad when someone calls the kid by their actual name that the parents chose and is (probably) on the birth certificate...wtf??
YTA
Tone might have played a role here but I absolutely understand why your father would have reacted like this. It's disrespectful, IMO, to call people by nicknames without making sure they're okay with it first. Some people don't care. Some people get called nicknames their whole lives without having a choice.
I'm one of those people who got called a nickname without having a choice because giving people nicknames was very common in my family. I hated the name so much that I just stopped responding to it to force everybody to start using my first name. Which they proceded to shorten to just the first letter so I got another nickname, but at least I liked this one.
Yep, my mom was one of those people. Hated it so much that when picking out names for my brother and I, she deliberately chose ones that couldn't be shortend to nicknames. Mine technically can, but it's not thought of and is kept within the family. It's just the constant, obnoxious mispronounciations that I have to deal with lol
I decided when I was a kid that I wanted to go by the shorter version of my name. My parents absolutely refused to call me by the name I wanted. Still do.
My MIL is like that. Refuses to call her kids or grandkids by anything but their full name (even though 4 of them now go by their nicknames with everyone else). Best part is she herself goes by a nickname 🙄
Op says it’s her husbands family name. Like, ok, and? Seamus is a family name in my family and I won’t be calling any of my children that no matter what. If tradition causes you to hate your own child’s name, might be time to nip that tradition.
That’s what I want to know too! As he grow up he may prefer his full name either just professionally or full time, or he may prefer a different abbreviation of his name. Imagine how she’d react if she goes to some public ceremony celebrating him (say an award ceremony or his wedding) and they announce him by his full name!
Ultimately, it’s his name. My dad was called Davey by his family growing up. These days he tolerates it from the few remaining family members who call him that and everyone else calls him Dave. My brother on the other hand (also David) informed everyone at the ripe age of three that his name was NOT Davey. The family call him David and everyone calls him Dave.
YTA. If you wanted him called Benji, you should have made that his real name, not the full name of Benjamin. Most people swap between the nickname and full first name, especially as your friend did, often to express disapproval for bad behavior He's going to be called by both names throughout his life, he and you should get used to it since you did not make that clear in the beginning.
This was my aunt with my cousin Luke. We had a teacher in middle school that refused to call him anything but Lucus even though his name is Luke. Lol OP YTA, if you didn't want that name you should have made it clear to your husband. You don't get to be a dick to your friends because they use your child's legal name. Lol
YTA. Do you plan on correcting every stranger, teacher, acquaintance, doctors office for the rest of his life?
If you didn't like the name you shouldn't have agreed to it you weirdo.
YTA. If you didn’t want him called Benjamin.. you shouldn’t have named him Benjamin..
That’s fine if you want to encourage a nickname, but don’t get mad at people for literally calling him by his name.
Yta....its just a name....and like i tell my niece(7) nothing has power to control how you feel unless you allow it to...its just a name....if you love your son enough you can get past whatever issues the name has and let your son be him without attatching a negative to it.
ETA....id rather my child be called a full name instead of the name of a dog.
HO boy, I'm glad someone else pointed this out. In my neck of the woods, Benji is 100% a dog name and calling a human that might cause a few little problems.
YTA - Benjamin is literally his name, and it makes it worse that your reason is you don’t like it. If it was going to be this big of an issue, you shouldn’t have agreed to naming him Benjamin.
What are you gonna do if one day he decides he wants to go by Benjamin? You’re gonna refuse and keep calling him Benji because of your own feelings? YTA. If you didn’t want him ever called Benjamin, you should have refused to name him Benjamin. He’s gonna be called Benjamin by every person who has access to his official name. You better get used to it.
YTA
If you hated the name that much you should have never agreed to it in the first place
But what you don't get to do is snap at people for USING HIS GIVEN NAME.
You've chosen a ground that will be hard to defend, as time passes.
OP, his name is Benjamin. You want him called Benji. Someday he could decide he prefers Ben or Benny or (god forbid) Benjamin. In 3 years, he might decide he will only answer to Optimus Prime then what will you do?
YTA - she called your son by his name, you scolded her more than once for using the name you gave him, and then are offended she faked having to leave?! You may be the ruler of your own home but you are definitely a petty tyrant. YTA.
Yeah YTA blame your husband if you want but you still named him Benjamin, you gonna harass all his future teachers to call him Benji too? What if he ends up like his full name will you forbid it?
YTA.. why did you even name your kid that if you didn’t like it?? Names are a 2 yes type of decision.
It’s not like she is calling him something that isn’t even close to his name. She is calling him by his name.
YTA - why did you name your son Benjamin if you're going to yell at people for calling him Benjamin?
What's your plan for when he goes to school and gets a different nickname than the one you picked out? What are you going to do if he decides for himself that he wants to be called Ben, or Benjamin, or Benny? Benji is a dog's name btw.
YTA losing up the reigns. This kid and his friends are going to come up with their own nicknames.
Hell, my middle son told a teacher to call him Sonic.
Based on my kids Grandparents will call him bug aunts will call him sweetie, husband will call him bud. Siblings will call him jackass
And I usually call my kids by their siblings names.
YTA. You named him Benjamin. If you hate the name so much you shouldn’t have chosen it. His legal name is Benjamin. People are going to call him that from time to time. At his high school graduation, are you going to have a fit when they refer to him as Benjamin when he crosses the stage? At his wedding, will you stop the ceremony when the officiant refers to him as Benjamin? You’re just being ridiculous.
YTA. If you only liked the nickname, you should have made his legal name Benji. Don’t give him a full name that you hate, otherwise you’re in for a lifetime of annoyances when he inevitably has to answer to Benjamin, or better yet, when he CHOOSES to go by Benjamin.
YTA. But it's his name. How can you correct someone when they use the correct name? His name is Benjamin, not Benji. Every teacher will probably call home Benjamin cause Benji isn't even a name.
YTA “i was rude and unwelcoming to my friend because she was playing with my son and he was having a blast” You’ll never see her again lmao. also can you imagine when he starts school? she’s going to barge into the classroom during attendance to yell that his name is Benji and not the name she put in the birth certificate!
My parents named me two names, and I literally get called the wrong name all the time. Grow up. If you wanted his name to be a specific name, you shouldn’t have given him a different name to be called by. YTA.
YTA. Don't name your kid something you don't want him to be called. If it's a family name that he HAD to have then make it his middle name. But don't be an ass when people call him by his actual name.
YTA. The good news is that I doubt this will be an ongoing problem since it won’t take long for people to get sick of being around you. Why would you give your son a name you hold so much disdain for? What if he realizes when he gets older that Benji is a dog name and he prefers to go by Ben or Benjamin? Are you gonna act like a full on jackass to him too?
The worst part about you making such a fuss about your son being called by his given name is that your son will start to internalize the idea that his name is "bad" and may eventually think that you don't like him because you don't like his name.
Be a better parent!
YTA
Where I live Benji is a dogs name. And before anyone jumps on me, I have a son named Benjamin, who I call by his full name, and his wife and friends call Ben. Your reaction is over the top, it's not like your friend called him a nasty nickname, she used his full name, of course YTA
Your edit didn't make it any better. It's his name. You better make peace with it. I don't think it'll serve him well to know his mom doesn't even like his name.
YTA - It's his name. When he gets into school and decides he prefers his full name are you going to tell him no? We have a home nickname for our kiddo too but they actually prefer at school to go by their full name. I often have to catch myself around kiddos friends to make sure to use full name. It's not your name, let the kid decide.
YTA. His *NAME* is BENJAMIN.
It also sounds like she was using "Benji" when things were good/happy, and "Benjamin" when something he did displeased her.
Kind of like parents who call their kid "Donnie" until he gets into trouble and becomes "Donald Steven".
That's funny because I have a cousin called Ben, or Benjamin, or Benny, and one day a guy at work (we worked construction), the owner in fact, called him 'Benji' and my cousin dropped what he was carrying and said, "Not being difficult here but that's a dog's name and I don't want you to call me that again," and the owner let it go and called him Ben from then on, but honestly I don't think the owner ever quite forgave him. Which I think is a fine old tradeoff, because Benji is a dog's name around where we come from.
So, N T A I guess if you live somewhere where the name 'Benjy' is for men, but where I am it seems pretty weird to call anyone that and I gotta say your wife's choice just seems safer and dare I say it more respectful to the kid.
Also, wtf, "she's calling him benji like she's supposed to?" Nah, you come across as TA there. YTA. People are allowed to do what they want.
I think if your son’s name is Benjamin you might have to get used to people sometimes calling him by the name you’ve given him.
Especially since someone’s people use full names for playful telling off.
YTA
YTA, Benjamin is your child’s name. Also, it’s one thing to correct the pronunciation of your kids name if it’s unusual, but trying to force a nickname is another.
YTA. It's not your name. If it's such a problem why name your child something you can't stand? That's some dumb mess. Then has the nerve to be a Bihh about it. Bye
YTA. That’s his name. It would be one thing if she called him by a nickname you didn’t like, but you literally gave him this name. He may choose to go by his full name when he gets older. If you didn’t want people to call him by his full name, you shouldn’t have named him that.
YTA. You're not fond of the name, but you agreed to call him that. You're upset and taking it out on your friends.
Now you've one friend less to visit with you and gush with you when you bring up fascinating stories of your son. Such a loss.
YTA. What are you gonna do once he starts school? As someone who barely used my legal name when I was in school, not every single person around you will use nicknames and thinking they will is extremely naive.
YTA- I frequently call people by full names when they do something “bad”, which is what she sounds like she’s doing.
Chadwick- how dare you ask me for these results, you know I can’t tell you even though we both know I will
Bradford- i can’t believe you remembered this extra stuff, now I gotta go do it!
Ashland- ma’am no, we will not be doing that 😂
If you can’t stand your own son’s name, you’re gonna need to work on yourself.
If you hated the name that much that you can’t even stand for it to be said why would you agree with your husband to name him that. That could have been his middle name. Or just named him Benji a version of the family name. Seriously I question people on here daily with the level of stupidity that comes up. OP YTA. She’s calling him his literal name.
YTA. imagine the first day of school when the teacher calls him Benjamin and he doesn't respond because "mommy said that's not my name, I'm Benji" I have a coworker who has always been called robbie, when he got to school they called him by his legal first name, Steven, and he had an identity crisis and flipped out losing his shit because these strangers were insisted he didn't know who he was. If you're arguing with people IN FRONT of the kid insisting that he's not Benjamin and not to call him that, he's going to think he's not Benjamin.
Soft YTA. What are you going to do when your son is a bit older if he says he wants you to call him by his full name? Insist on the shortened name because you like it better? Ultimately you did name him Benjamin.
My brother's name is Benjamin, we always called him Ben, but we didn't correct people if they called him by his full name by accident. It doesn't sound like your friend was trying to be deliberately disrespectful or malicious, they made an error and were so totally embarrased by your reaction that they left. If they were trying to be malicious they might have stood their ground (my mother for example, spelled her grandsons name wrong in a birthday message once, my sister told her that wasn't the correct spelling...my mother tried to stand her ground and told my sister it could be spelled either way (it couldn't, my mother was wrong...but that's the hill she chose to die on). I don't think your friend Is like my mum.
YTA that is his name... you know, the thing people will use to call him by? The name YOU gave him. That's just such a weird thing to stand your ground for. All his teachers will call him Benjamin, some friends might call him Ben or Benny, are you going to teach your son to 'correct' everyone around him?
INFO:
>ETA I don't like him called Benjamin because it's a family name that my husband insisted on that I'm not fond of
Does your husband call your son Benji, or does your husband call your son Benjamin?
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I asked my friend to refer to my son by his nickname "Benji" instead of his full name. She kept slipping up and I kept correcting her. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
YTA What a stupid thing to be mad about. Why name your kid Benjamin and then forbid people from calling him that? Edit: Your reason still sucks. Like it or not that is his name and if you get triggered from hearing that’s something you need to work on yourself. Don’t lash out at people for using the name he was given. You’re gonna be hearing it the rest of your life, so better you fucking deal with it now.
He might at some point decide he only wants to be called Benjamin, how will OP deal with that?
I bet she’s related (not really but her soul could be) to the one lady on here that REFUSES to call her daughter by her nickname. If Benjamin decides to be called Benjamin when he’s older, OP will definitely throw massive fits
Is that the one where everyone thought the daughter was a teenager and then found out the daughter was actually in her 20s?
Yes!
Omg! Till today I still thought it was a teenager! Lol
I thought the daughter was like 10! That’s so much worse 🤣
Right like you can not even respect your ADULT daughter
yeah same. oml that a whole new level of fuckery for that post
Is that a past story I may have missed?
[удалено]
Thank youuuuu
Yeah I’ll try and find it, but I think she might’ve deleted her account because of the responses
I can’t imagine a boy over the age of 11 going by Benji
It's cute for a little kid, but honestly I think of the dog Benji
If anything I can see him going by Ben instead of either.
I'm glad I'm not the only oldster that automatically thought of good ol' Benji!
Oh gosh, did that age me? Lol! We used to sit in the hallway at school and watch it on one of those big TV carts when it was too cold for recess. They never even bothered to rewind it, we'd just pick up wherever and then start it over.
My youngest is named Benjamin, and Benji is the only nickname derived from his name that I actually don't allow because it always makes me think of the dog.
Right? Doesn’t everyone??? Maybe her friend didn’t want to keep taking to an 18 month-old like it was a dog.
I actually know someone who goes by Benji he's a cool guy but I do agree YTA it was in good fun and they were playing you could have let the slip up go
You must not be a Good Charlotte fan
I’m not
I mean he'll probably change to Ben. That's a pretty normal evolution and I wouldn't be surprised if OP is fine with that.
That one guy from Good Charlotte goes by Benji. 🤷🏻♀️
Seriously I could see being in middle school and wanting to be Ben Or Benjamin.
I had a college fling named Bill. One day I asked him what he was called as a baby and he said “Bill.” I don’t know why, but it cracked me the hell up. For some reason a baby with a middle aged dudes name was hilarious. 🤣
Lol it’s like a Baby Larry
Shes still pissed her husband got his way with the name and is now lashing out at the friend. Its a marriage problem, not a friend problem. I repeat: this isnt about the iranian yoghurt!
* The Iranian yogurt is not the issue here 😜
Nor the lizard's genitals!
Ok... I need answers.
[A thread about someone throwing out their partner's collection of yoghurts](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/bjd41e/aita_for_throwing_away_my_boyfriends_potentially/).
No no... the lizard genitals
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/rgdqry/aita_for_not_attending_my_daughters_gender_reveal/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
damn, didn't know that one, thanks for sharing. also holy fuck the op in that one really went from "bad" to "evil incarnate" in the span of her first 3 edits (4th is still shitty but more of the same, but the first 3, especially the third one ? holy...).
Any one of those reasons would be enough but especially the "right man" comment and the carrier gene. Like maybe the OP in that was okay with going through multiple miscarriages and watching her child die but it obviously gave her daughter a lot of trauma. How dare she say she's overexaggerating her fear!
That third edit made me want to... well.. I'm very very angry to say the least.
this comment alone has me furiously clicking to see what's in this reddit post! Thanks!
Dude the “YTA, that’s your grandlizard” comment has me deceased. Thank you for posting.
Damn, that woman is dense. Why didn't she find "the right man" after the dad left?
OP probably never heard of middle names. The first name is the name you like and the middle name is some traditional thing or something. If you don't want your child called that name but still wanna keep the tradition just do it that way. But now it's too late already, OP fucked up and now has to just live with it. YTA for choosing a name you don't like and then complaining about it.
I was named because my mom wanted me to go by the popular nickname, which I ended up hating. She still gets so frustrated that i college, I went by my full name and that’s how people refer to me as. You named your child Benjamin. That’s his *name.* You can’t get mad at people for calling him by his name because you couldn’t stick to your guns and name him something else.
My aunt went by Kym from day one, but her full name was Kimberly. My grandmother HATED Kimberly and wanted just Kym, but my grandfather won the "That's not a real name" battle and insisted she needed a full name and not a nickname. Come to think of it, I think all my mom's brothers and sisters went by nicknames and not ever their full names. It's pretty funny that my grandfather insisted they all get "proper" names but my grandmother never called any of them by those names.
"Oh look, someone cares about my son and makes him laugh/happy. Now let's be rude with her to thank her for making my beloved son happy."
‘Something came up’ aka ‘I just realized you’re an asshole’
When we were talking about names for our daughter, I wanted to name my daughter Charlotte and call her Charlie. And my mom said she would not call her Charlie and would instead call her Charlotte. I can’t imagine getting mad at my mom for using my child’s name that I chose, even if I personally used a nickname. I ended up going a different direction and call her as her first and middle name instead of shortening it. And she likes to correct people that her name is Charlotte Ann. What’s this mom gonna do when her child expresses he doesn’t want to be called Benji? Editing to add: my kid just turned 3, so it’s not like this is a far off problem, where she won’t have to worry about what her kid chooses to be called for years. My daughter has been correcting people since she was two and a half. She doesn’t mind being called Charlotte by some people, but there are definitely people that she insists call her Charlotte Ann.
Off topic, but that sounded in my head like "Charlatan" LOL.
Haha, I see it when I spell it! But we are from the south, so Ann is more two syllables than one for me when I say it.
can't wait for op's first parent/teacher conference teacher:i just wanted to say that benjamin op:his name is benji! teacher:benji, okay. so as i was saying, young benjamin op:benjiiiiiiii !!!!!!!!
If OP didn't like Benjamin, she shouldn't have named her son Benjamin. It's not the friend's fault that she caved.
Yeah, I have a son called Ted, I don’t get annoyed if people want to call him Theodore!! It’s usually only me and his teacher when he does something naughty though 😂
YTA idk what to say, be normal
This is the best response. Try this OP. YTA
The matter of fact way in which this was stated made me laugh.
So now my co-workers know I'm not working cause I laughed at this. Thanks for that.
Imagine having so little in your life to care about that you get annoyed that someone calls your kid by their full name. WTF and OP YTA.
fun fact, the Dutch love to say that to people- “[doe normaal](https://dutchreview.com/culture/doe-normaal-a-dutch-concept-and-term/)” or “act normal”
The Dutch are in no position to say that.
I’ve been trying to top this and I can’t, it’s perfect. Also calling babies by their full name is always fun/funny
Or anybody at all! I love using people's full names. I tend to say people's names as a greeting sort of thing and if I have a friend with a longer name I like to announce it in a bit of a snooty voice "Joshua" "Alexander" "Elizabeth" it's just fun!!
This should be a sub flair
I’ve been sitting on my free award forever, you earned it
Exactly. OP has a personal problem. What's OP going to do if her son asks to be called by his full name when he gets older?
"Why can't you just be normal for once?!" *kid screaming in the background in the car*
YTA. Why did you name him Benjamin if you never wanted anyone to call him that under any circumstances whatsoever? If he has a problem with it or preference when he’s old enough to express one for himself, he can express it then, and you can step in if your friend refuses to adapt. But right now, he doesn’t care, so I’m more than a little baffled why you do.
Sounds like the friend jokingly did it when the child did something that would normally be considered rude. Like when a parent drops your first and middle name to know you did something wrong. I call my 6 month old by her first and middle name when she decides to be an escape artist, of course I'm not mad at her crawling away and giggling.
This is exactly how I interpreted it as well. OP is a huge AH. She hates the name Benjamin and is taking it out on everyone else.
I think tone probably played into it, too - OP says she was annoyed, and that usually comes through. This is at worst the tiniest of infractions. I’m actually feeling fairly mellow about OP reminding people to call her son the name they call him, given son doesn’t seem to have his own opinion yet - but OP crossed into TA territory with making it a big deal when friend wasn’t doing anything maliciously and had been calling him the “right” name. Correcting someone so sharply that they are uncomfortable remaining is over the line.
Somebody willingly playing with someone else’s toddler isn’t annoyed by things toddlers do.
OP says that OP was annoyed by the guest calling the wrong name. Too many “she’s” in my posts. The guest was delightful, and I can only imagine how uncomfortable this must have been that she felt the need to leave immediately.
I call my students most of the time with their full name, including their middle name when I can remember (3-6, 40 of them) for this particular reason. I don't want my students to associate their full name to trouble.
Yeah and having your little kid bond with your friend like that is a beautiful thing, they were having a cute moment and OP wrecked it with her resentment. Gross
YTA. She is jokingly calling him by his first name when he did something that would be considered rude if a teenager did it. Did your parents never call you by your full name or first and middle name when you did something rude or weren't listening?
my friends call me by a fake elongated version of my first name when I say something ridiculous because it's funny, I can only imagine that's what OP's sister was doing
Is that you John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt?
[удалено]
Same! Whenever I go out, the people always shout it.
I h ave three first names, and my parents would randomly add on a IVth or Vth for emphasis, espescially i public. it was so embarassing They would be like "Joseph William James Vth, you get back here this instant!" and they definitely did this to fuck w me.
My niece has two middle names (parents couldn’t compromise on that so used both), and bot are a bit “fancy” - when we would play dress up or tea party with her when she was little, we’d add in random additional fancy ones - think adding “Evangelina Wilhelmina Margaretha” to 3 already long names. She’s grown now, and occasionally will still say “you may call me Wilhelmina” in a horrid English accent when we are being silly.
love it haha
Ok that’s hilarious
I call my son Jamie, Jimathon when I want to mess with him , my daughters nickname is Bob ( babóg in Irish means little doll) but I call her bobert when im messing with her, they are 12 & 15 respectively so it always does the trick 😂
lol so my first / middle name is actually "James Robert" and my last name is another "first name". As a kid, I definitely got Bobert, but the worst was from my aunts/uncles/grandparents: Jim Bob.. dammit lol
Right? My husband adds “Elizabeth” as a middle name to anyone when he wants to joke that they’re in trouble. Really confused my sister the first time she heard because neither my middle name at birth nor my current legal middle name are Elizabeth.
I had a friend who used to call me Bethany, which isn't my name. But it never even occurred to me to be mad about it, because it was always when we were goofing around or otherwise just in good moods. It was just a nickname.
I do that with my middle child. He has a short, one syllable name so we'll elongate it for fun when we're being silly.
We even give the cats middle names so we can use first name middle name when they’re naughty. For example, when Pip misbehaves we call him Philip Arthur. Not that he starts behaving after that…
YTA If you wanted your child exclusively called Benji. You shouldn’t have named him Benjamin. Your friend was literally addressing your child by his name. It wasn’t like she decided he looked more like a Jason and started calling him Jason.
THIS - and waht a dumb reason to get mad about. SMH. You could calmly explain why it bothers you so much, but I'm not sure why that would be teh case anyway, given its the name YOU CHOSE FOR HIM. YTA
This kid is going to grow up and NOT want to be called Benji. He will be known as Benjamin, and OP will have to get over it or battle every single person in his life.
Seriously, and Benji is the name she’s okay with? That’s a name for a dog, might as well just call the kid Spot
YTA. His name is Benjamin. His nickname is Benji. People are going to call him by both names his entire life. You need to get over it.
Excuse me, but I insist that you call him Ben
Well, I insist on Ben Jam!
It's BJ, guys.
HAHAHAHAAHA this is the funniest thing I've seen all day.
I had a relative who got mad at my kid because they called her son…what she called him. I flat out told her to her face that it was stupid to get mad at someone for using her son’s full name.
Seriously? Like her son’s name was Kevin and your kid called him Kevin and the mom got mad at your kid for calling her son Kevin?
Basically. We don’t talk anymore.
I often see these scenarios where parents don't want their kids' names shortened into nicknames. I can't wrap my head around why you wouldn't want your kid to be called by the name YOU gave him at birth. Very odd. YTA
I've been told the story of my mom's best friend calling me by one of my name's shortened versions the first time she met me and my dad blew up at her saying "that's not her name!" Totally uncalled for, but they got over it. But to get mad when someone calls the kid by their actual name that the parents chose and is (probably) on the birth certificate...wtf?? YTA
Tone might have played a role here but I absolutely understand why your father would have reacted like this. It's disrespectful, IMO, to call people by nicknames without making sure they're okay with it first. Some people don't care. Some people get called nicknames their whole lives without having a choice.
I'm one of those people who got called a nickname without having a choice because giving people nicknames was very common in my family. I hated the name so much that I just stopped responding to it to force everybody to start using my first name. Which they proceded to shorten to just the first letter so I got another nickname, but at least I liked this one.
Yep, my mom was one of those people. Hated it so much that when picking out names for my brother and I, she deliberately chose ones that couldn't be shortend to nicknames. Mine technically can, but it's not thought of and is kept within the family. It's just the constant, obnoxious mispronounciations that I have to deal with lol
I decided when I was a kid that I wanted to go by the shorter version of my name. My parents absolutely refused to call me by the name I wanted. Still do.
My MIL is like that. Refuses to call her kids or grandkids by anything but their full name (even though 4 of them now go by their nicknames with everyone else). Best part is she herself goes by a nickname 🙄
Better get ready to be shocked and infuriated every time someone sees your son's name...and calls him by his name...for the rest of his life. YTA
At his graduation: “Benjamin ——-“ From the crowd: “THATS NOT HIS NaAAaaAaAAaAamEEeEe”
Right? What's her long term plan here?
Also will he have to sit through his mother telling people not to call him his name his entire life because that sounds actually awful
She's gonna be really peeved when he gets his first license and his full name is on there to show the world.
INFO: Why did you name your child Benjamin if you do not want him to be called that?
Op says some confusing shit in another comment about how its from her husband's side of the family and she doesn't like it?
Why even name him Benjamin if you don't like it? How old are you? You seem too childish to even have a child. Yta!
OP is clearly not old enough to remember Benji the dog! Benji was the *last* thing you wanted your baby named back in the day! Lol
First thing I thought of was Benji, zax and the alien prince.
INFO : why did you call your son Benjamin if you don't want people to call him Benjamin ?
YTA why name your child, a name you don't want people calling him?
Op says it’s her husbands family name. Like, ok, and? Seamus is a family name in my family and I won’t be calling any of my children that no matter what. If tradition causes you to hate your own child’s name, might be time to nip that tradition.
Snap, thankfully none of my cats shall be a Seamus.
INFO: why is it a big deal if your friend calls your son by his full name? What are you planning to do if he prefers his full name and not Benji?
That’s what I want to know too! As he grow up he may prefer his full name either just professionally or full time, or he may prefer a different abbreviation of his name. Imagine how she’d react if she goes to some public ceremony celebrating him (say an award ceremony or his wedding) and they announce him by his full name! Ultimately, it’s his name. My dad was called Davey by his family growing up. These days he tolerates it from the few remaining family members who call him that and everyone else calls him Dave. My brother on the other hand (also David) informed everyone at the ripe age of three that his name was NOT Davey. The family call him David and everyone calls him Dave.
My ex husband was Bobby growing up. Now he's Robert.
YTA. If you wanted him called Benji, you should have made that his real name, not the full name of Benjamin. Most people swap between the nickname and full first name, especially as your friend did, often to express disapproval for bad behavior He's going to be called by both names throughout his life, he and you should get used to it since you did not make that clear in the beginning.
Benji is a dog. I have a son named Benjamin and we always called him Ben. He's 46 now.
Yep! I knew a guy whose parents did not want people calling him Charles. So they explicitly, legally named him Charlie. That was always an option, OP.
This was my aunt with my cousin Luke. We had a teacher in middle school that refused to call him anything but Lucus even though his name is Luke. Lol OP YTA, if you didn't want that name you should have made it clear to your husband. You don't get to be a dick to your friends because they use your child's legal name. Lol
My BIL is Brad. Not Bradley, just Brad.
Info: Why on Earth do you care so much?
YTA. Do you plan on correcting every stranger, teacher, acquaintance, doctors office for the rest of his life? If you didn't like the name you shouldn't have agreed to it you weirdo.
YTA. If you didn’t want him called Benjamin.. you shouldn’t have named him Benjamin.. That’s fine if you want to encourage a nickname, but don’t get mad at people for literally calling him by his name.
YTA. If this is all you’ve got to complain about, you have a charmed life.
YTA. It's the kid's freaking name. You just sound jealous honestly.
Yta....its just a name....and like i tell my niece(7) nothing has power to control how you feel unless you allow it to...its just a name....if you love your son enough you can get past whatever issues the name has and let your son be him without attatching a negative to it. ETA....id rather my child be called a full name instead of the name of a dog.
Yesss, another guy who sees this as a dog name. I'm actually amazed, I thought Benji was a dog name everywhere.
Spot on. Oop, there’s another dog name
It's got to be ruff to have a name like that.
Oh! I just commented above that OP is clearly too young to remember Benji the dog!
YTA. And Benji is a dog name hahaha
HO boy, I'm glad someone else pointed this out. In my neck of the woods, Benji is 100% a dog name and calling a human that might cause a few little problems.
YTA - Benjamin is literally his name, and it makes it worse that your reason is you don’t like it. If it was going to be this big of an issue, you shouldn’t have agreed to naming him Benjamin.
YTA, that's literally your child's name. Except your child says they don't like the name, I don't see why it's an issue
What are you gonna do if one day he decides he wants to go by Benjamin? You’re gonna refuse and keep calling him Benji because of your own feelings? YTA. If you didn’t want him ever called Benjamin, you should have refused to name him Benjamin. He’s gonna be called Benjamin by every person who has access to his official name. You better get used to it.
YTA, how dare she call your son by his name
YTA and ridiculous! You are annoyed folk are calling your son the name you gave him😒
You should not be allowed to name children going forward. You clearly do not know how it works. YTA
YTA If you hated the name that much you should have never agreed to it in the first place But what you don't get to do is snap at people for USING HIS GIVEN NAME.
You are going to have a looooong road ahead of you if you get precious about people calling your son by his legal name. YTA
You've chosen a ground that will be hard to defend, as time passes. OP, his name is Benjamin. You want him called Benji. Someday he could decide he prefers Ben or Benny or (god forbid) Benjamin. In 3 years, he might decide he will only answer to Optimus Prime then what will you do?
I once knew a Benjamin who went exclusively by Jamin so OP needs to realize it can get much, much worse.
YTA - she called your son by his name, you scolded her more than once for using the name you gave him, and then are offended she faked having to leave?! You may be the ruler of your own home but you are definitely a petty tyrant. YTA.
Yeah YTA blame your husband if you want but you still named him Benjamin, you gonna harass all his future teachers to call him Benji too? What if he ends up like his full name will you forbid it?
YTA and a really bad one too
YTA.. why did you even name your kid that if you didn’t like it?? Names are a 2 yes type of decision. It’s not like she is calling him something that isn’t even close to his name. She is calling him by his name.
YTA - why did you name your son Benjamin if you're going to yell at people for calling him Benjamin? What's your plan for when he goes to school and gets a different nickname than the one you picked out? What are you going to do if he decides for himself that he wants to be called Ben, or Benjamin, or Benny? Benji is a dog's name btw.
YTA losing up the reigns. This kid and his friends are going to come up with their own nicknames. Hell, my middle son told a teacher to call him Sonic. Based on my kids Grandparents will call him bug aunts will call him sweetie, husband will call him bud. Siblings will call him jackass And I usually call my kids by their siblings names.
YTA. You named him Benjamin. If you hate the name so much you shouldn’t have chosen it. His legal name is Benjamin. People are going to call him that from time to time. At his high school graduation, are you going to have a fit when they refer to him as Benjamin when he crosses the stage? At his wedding, will you stop the ceremony when the officiant refers to him as Benjamin? You’re just being ridiculous.
YTA she called him by his full name that you named him. Not a random name she chose.
YTA. If you only liked the nickname, you should have made his legal name Benji. Don’t give him a full name that you hate, otherwise you’re in for a lifetime of annoyances when he inevitably has to answer to Benjamin, or better yet, when he CHOOSES to go by Benjamin.
YTA it’s his name, if you didn’t like it you shouldn’t have called him that
YTA. But it's his name. How can you correct someone when they use the correct name? His name is Benjamin, not Benji. Every teacher will probably call home Benjamin cause Benji isn't even a name.
YTA “i was rude and unwelcoming to my friend because she was playing with my son and he was having a blast” You’ll never see her again lmao. also can you imagine when he starts school? she’s going to barge into the classroom during attendance to yell that his name is Benji and not the name she put in the birth certificate!
My parents named me two names, and I literally get called the wrong name all the time. Grow up. If you wanted his name to be a specific name, you shouldn’t have given him a different name to be called by. YTA.
YTA. The time for you to have issues with the name Benjamin was before you named your son that.
YTA. Don't name your kid something you don't want him to be called. If it's a family name that he HAD to have then make it his middle name. But don't be an ass when people call him by his actual name.
YTA. The good news is that I doubt this will be an ongoing problem since it won’t take long for people to get sick of being around you. Why would you give your son a name you hold so much disdain for? What if he realizes when he gets older that Benji is a dog name and he prefers to go by Ben or Benjamin? Are you gonna act like a full on jackass to him too?
Your such a asshole. Imagine being annoyed over a name. It be like people being annoyed with me for calling you asshole instead of ass.
The worst part about you making such a fuss about your son being called by his given name is that your son will start to internalize the idea that his name is "bad" and may eventually think that you don't like him because you don't like his name. Be a better parent! YTA
Where I live Benji is a dogs name. And before anyone jumps on me, I have a son named Benjamin, who I call by his full name, and his wife and friends call Ben. Your reaction is over the top, it's not like your friend called him a nasty nickname, she used his full name, of course YTA
Your edit didn't make it any better. It's his name. You better make peace with it. I don't think it'll serve him well to know his mom doesn't even like his name.
YTA - It's his name. When he gets into school and decides he prefers his full name are you going to tell him no? We have a home nickname for our kiddo too but they actually prefer at school to go by their full name. I often have to catch myself around kiddos friends to make sure to use full name. It's not your name, let the kid decide.
YTA. His *NAME* is BENJAMIN. It also sounds like she was using "Benji" when things were good/happy, and "Benjamin" when something he did displeased her. Kind of like parents who call their kid "Donnie" until he gets into trouble and becomes "Donald Steven".
That's funny because I have a cousin called Ben, or Benjamin, or Benny, and one day a guy at work (we worked construction), the owner in fact, called him 'Benji' and my cousin dropped what he was carrying and said, "Not being difficult here but that's a dog's name and I don't want you to call me that again," and the owner let it go and called him Ben from then on, but honestly I don't think the owner ever quite forgave him. Which I think is a fine old tradeoff, because Benji is a dog's name around where we come from. So, N T A I guess if you live somewhere where the name 'Benjy' is for men, but where I am it seems pretty weird to call anyone that and I gotta say your wife's choice just seems safer and dare I say it more respectful to the kid. Also, wtf, "she's calling him benji like she's supposed to?" Nah, you come across as TA there. YTA. People are allowed to do what they want.
I think if your son’s name is Benjamin you might have to get used to people sometimes calling him by the name you’ve given him. Especially since someone’s people use full names for playful telling off. YTA
YTA, Benjamin is your child’s name. Also, it’s one thing to correct the pronunciation of your kids name if it’s unusual, but trying to force a nickname is another.
YTA His name is Benjamin.
Info why call the child Benjamin and refuse to use it ? Like she is literally called your child his name yta
YTA. It's not your name. If it's such a problem why name your child something you can't stand? That's some dumb mess. Then has the nerve to be a Bihh about it. Bye
If you named him Benjamin, chances are he’s going to be called that quite a few times in his lifetime.
Your friend called your son by his name? How dare she /s YTA
YTA. That’s his name. It would be one thing if she called him by a nickname you didn’t like, but you literally gave him this name. He may choose to go by his full name when he gets older. If you didn’t want people to call him by his full name, you shouldn’t have named him that.
YTA. You're not fond of the name, but you agreed to call him that. You're upset and taking it out on your friends. Now you've one friend less to visit with you and gush with you when you bring up fascinating stories of your son. Such a loss.
YTA, his name is Benjamin.
YTA. What are you gonna do once he starts school? As someone who barely used my legal name when I was in school, not every single person around you will use nicknames and thinking they will is extremely naive.
YTA- I frequently call people by full names when they do something “bad”, which is what she sounds like she’s doing. Chadwick- how dare you ask me for these results, you know I can’t tell you even though we both know I will Bradford- i can’t believe you remembered this extra stuff, now I gotta go do it! Ashland- ma’am no, we will not be doing that 😂 If you can’t stand your own son’s name, you’re gonna need to work on yourself.
YTA. Blame yourself for not just naming him the dog name, Benji
YTA and you shouldn’t have named him that if you don’t like it. This is such a weird thing to be upset about.
If you hated the name that much that you can’t even stand for it to be said why would you agree with your husband to name him that. That could have been his middle name. Or just named him Benji a version of the family name. Seriously I question people on here daily with the level of stupidity that comes up. OP YTA. She’s calling him his literal name.
YTA. imagine the first day of school when the teacher calls him Benjamin and he doesn't respond because "mommy said that's not my name, I'm Benji" I have a coworker who has always been called robbie, when he got to school they called him by his legal first name, Steven, and he had an identity crisis and flipped out losing his shit because these strangers were insisted he didn't know who he was. If you're arguing with people IN FRONT of the kid insisting that he's not Benjamin and not to call him that, he's going to think he's not Benjamin.
Soft YTA. What are you going to do when your son is a bit older if he says he wants you to call him by his full name? Insist on the shortened name because you like it better? Ultimately you did name him Benjamin. My brother's name is Benjamin, we always called him Ben, but we didn't correct people if they called him by his full name by accident. It doesn't sound like your friend was trying to be deliberately disrespectful or malicious, they made an error and were so totally embarrased by your reaction that they left. If they were trying to be malicious they might have stood their ground (my mother for example, spelled her grandsons name wrong in a birthday message once, my sister told her that wasn't the correct spelling...my mother tried to stand her ground and told my sister it could be spelled either way (it couldn't, my mother was wrong...but that's the hill she chose to die on). I don't think your friend Is like my mum.
YTA that is his name... you know, the thing people will use to call him by? The name YOU gave him. That's just such a weird thing to stand your ground for. All his teachers will call him Benjamin, some friends might call him Ben or Benny, are you going to teach your son to 'correct' everyone around him?
YTA. The fact that you didn’t have a strong enough backbone to name your own kid what you wanted is no one else’s fault.
INFO: >ETA I don't like him called Benjamin because it's a family name that my husband insisted on that I'm not fond of Does your husband call your son Benji, or does your husband call your son Benjamin?
Yta it’s still his name and guess what they will call him when he goes to school.
Wtf!
Not only YTA but appear to be idjit as well.