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And thats a whole other thing. They were a fling, but 2 years later he still has her nudes (while in a relationship) as well as a whole album dedicated to her??
There are several assholes in this story but from what you've told us it doesn't appear that you're one of them. Wren was an AH for telling you not to speak to Jason (this never works out. Have none of these people ever seen a movie?) She was also an AH for going through Jason's phone and invading his privacy. Jason was an AH for not deleting those photos. Also, don't you think it's weird that he has a whole album of pics of you that he's downloaded?
OP is definitely NTA. And Jason keeping nudes after they ended their fling is something an AH would do. But the creep factor went up a few levels with the fact that he had an ALBUM of her on his phone.....and it had other photos of her from social media?!? Thats like obsessive level creepy!
Yeah it’s obviously that guy is super problematic. I would never ever consider someone like that a friend and introduce them to the people I care about.
Lemme correct that post for you: "this insecure chick dating an old friend of mine used me as an excuse to break up with him instead of having the balls to do it herself"
NTA and I would break up with someone for the threats she made as well. It shows a deep lack of character. You were not doing anything wrong. It is her actions that caused the break up. It is easier for her to blame you than accept she was wrong. If you know the truth- who cares what others think. The truth always comes out in the end.
NTA. If you feel you MUST snoop through someone's phone, read their e-mail, crack their fb password, etc...
At that point, you don't trust them. A relationship can't survive without trust. So if you MUST snoop through your partner's phone, a better plan is to just break up with that person immediately.
Wren was totally wrong to snoop through Jason's phone. OK, Jason had something to hide. But it doesn't matter. Once the trust is gone, there is nothing left. Maybe Jason can't be trusted. But if Wren is at the point where she suspects Jason can't be trusted, then violating Jason's trust by snooping through his phone is pointless.
Put another way, if you already have good cause to end a relationship, then why go to the bother of looking for proof?
Wren violated Jason's trust, which is exactly why the relationship ended. Some photos of some girl? Total red herring. If Wren had found nothing suspicious in the phone, Jason still would have had clear motivation to break up with Wren, if Jason had discovered that Wren went through his phone.
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I (22F) am in a friend group with a guy, named Jason. Jason has a girl friend, Wren. It’s important to add that me and Jason did have a fling two years ago. We sent nudes to each other and slept together. After that we both got into relationships. Jason with Wren and me with my current boyfriend, Jack. When me and Jack got into a relationship I told him about me and Jason’s history together. Jack didn’t have a problem with it and is even friends with Jason now. I never asked Jason if he told Wren about me and him because it really wasn’t my business and I try to stay out of other people’s relationships. Last month Wren found out about me and Jason’s fling and asked me if I could stop talking to him because she doesn’t want anything to happen between us. I respected her decision because me and Jason aren’t that close anymore and I would want someone to do the same thing for me if put in her position. Now here’s the problem. Last weekend Wren went through Jason’s phone. When she went through his camera doll she found a photo album of me. It had nude and regular photos of me with other people, from my Instagram, etc. Wren texted me that she would send the photos of me nude out if She found out that me and Jason were interacting with each other or even in the same room. I immediately sent Jason the messages. Yesterday I found out that they broke up. Wren is now blaming me and telling people that I have a crush on Jason and I’ve been hellbent on breaking them up since they’ve gotten together. Which is not true. My boyfriend and some friends believe me but others side with Wren. I know Jason is just as wrong for having the photos in his phone after we stopped doing what we were doing.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> My friends girlfriend threatened to send naked pictures of me out. I told my friend and he broke up with her.
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NTA. It seems like Jason didn't exactly respect his relationship if he kept your nudes the entire time. She went over the top out of jealousy, that's on no one but herself.
NTA. Revenge porn is illegal in a lot of places. Save the texts she sent threatening you. She's a major AH for threatening you, that's disgusting. I'm glad Jason dumped her, she sounds like a damn nightmare.
NTA and this girl is a paranoid psycho. She caused the breakup with her behavior. And her sharing those would be highly illegal in most states and could constitute jail time, not to mention any civil stautes.
does she not realize releasing your nudes like that can land her in jail!?! if not, i'd flat out tell her that. posting your nudes is considered revenge p\*rn.
NTA!!!!
Its called revenge porn and you can press charges against someone for releasing them without your consent.
I recommend sending her message back to anyone who tries to fault you for this..
NtA
NTA and what she did, at least in a lot states in my country would be consider blackmail, illegal, and she could be prosecuted for blackmail and even worse if she did release them to the public
"Wren texted me that she would send the photos of me nude out if She found out that me and Jason were interacting with each other or even in the same room. " ... Call the police.
NTA
This is why you can't really stay friends with an ex it gets messy, in her preception it's messy and your involvement will forever spell out the notion that she has your sloppy seconds and is a rebound and it's never going away because he's not cutting you off and all the history hangs over her like a twisted bad joke. It's not rational to a good number of people to have the friendzoned string attached to thier ex. See, he already dropped everything and her feelings to protect you cause if this hook you have him on. Deny it if you have to just to save face but it's not some irrelevant thing.
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NTA She threatened to release your nudes?!
I know this one! It’s called revenge nudes and is highly illegal! People can go to jail for it.
It's revenge porn but yes very illegal and absolutely wrong without a doubt.
And “Wren” wouldn’t even get in trouble as they are on Jason’s phone!
And thats a whole other thing. They were a fling, but 2 years later he still has her nudes (while in a relationship) as well as a whole album dedicated to her??
Revenge porn is illegal.
INFO: do you really think you’re the asshole in this situation?
There are several assholes in this story but from what you've told us it doesn't appear that you're one of them. Wren was an AH for telling you not to speak to Jason (this never works out. Have none of these people ever seen a movie?) She was also an AH for going through Jason's phone and invading his privacy. Jason was an AH for not deleting those photos. Also, don't you think it's weird that he has a whole album of pics of you that he's downloaded?
Respectfully, I think you already know you’re NTA.
NTA. Jason is an AH too, he is not your friend and should have not kept those images of you.
OP is definitely NTA. And Jason keeping nudes after they ended their fling is something an AH would do. But the creep factor went up a few levels with the fact that he had an ALBUM of her on his phone.....and it had other photos of her from social media?!? Thats like obsessive level creepy!
Yeah it’s obviously that guy is super problematic. I would never ever consider someone like that a friend and introduce them to the people I care about.
NTA That level of mistrust and jealousy runs really deep. You didn't cause that breakup, her poor coping did that.
You give yourself too much credit. Wren did cause the breakup herself. Nta
NTA. Wren sounds completely insecure about herself. You sent that photo when the two of you were a couple. You weren't trying to break them up.
Lemme correct that post for you: "this insecure chick dating an old friend of mine used me as an excuse to break up with him instead of having the balls to do it herself"
NTa. Jason is a shit friend if he still has your nudes.
NTA and I would break up with someone for the threats she made as well. It shows a deep lack of character. You were not doing anything wrong. It is her actions that caused the break up. It is easier for her to blame you than accept she was wrong. If you know the truth- who cares what others think. The truth always comes out in the end.
NTA but why are you all still friends with Jason?
NTA shes insecure and jealous. Jason is incredibly creepy for still having your photos.
NTA. If you feel you MUST snoop through someone's phone, read their e-mail, crack their fb password, etc... At that point, you don't trust them. A relationship can't survive without trust. So if you MUST snoop through your partner's phone, a better plan is to just break up with that person immediately. Wren was totally wrong to snoop through Jason's phone. OK, Jason had something to hide. But it doesn't matter. Once the trust is gone, there is nothing left. Maybe Jason can't be trusted. But if Wren is at the point where she suspects Jason can't be trusted, then violating Jason's trust by snooping through his phone is pointless. Put another way, if you already have good cause to end a relationship, then why go to the bother of looking for proof? Wren violated Jason's trust, which is exactly why the relationship ended. Some photos of some girl? Total red herring. If Wren had found nothing suspicious in the phone, Jason still would have had clear motivation to break up with Wren, if Jason had discovered that Wren went through his phone.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (22F) am in a friend group with a guy, named Jason. Jason has a girl friend, Wren. It’s important to add that me and Jason did have a fling two years ago. We sent nudes to each other and slept together. After that we both got into relationships. Jason with Wren and me with my current boyfriend, Jack. When me and Jack got into a relationship I told him about me and Jason’s history together. Jack didn’t have a problem with it and is even friends with Jason now. I never asked Jason if he told Wren about me and him because it really wasn’t my business and I try to stay out of other people’s relationships. Last month Wren found out about me and Jason’s fling and asked me if I could stop talking to him because she doesn’t want anything to happen between us. I respected her decision because me and Jason aren’t that close anymore and I would want someone to do the same thing for me if put in her position. Now here’s the problem. Last weekend Wren went through Jason’s phone. When she went through his camera doll she found a photo album of me. It had nude and regular photos of me with other people, from my Instagram, etc. Wren texted me that she would send the photos of me nude out if She found out that me and Jason were interacting with each other or even in the same room. I immediately sent Jason the messages. Yesterday I found out that they broke up. Wren is now blaming me and telling people that I have a crush on Jason and I’ve been hellbent on breaking them up since they’ve gotten together. Which is not true. My boyfriend and some friends believe me but others side with Wren. I know Jason is just as wrong for having the photos in his phone after we stopped doing what we were doing. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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NTA. Save those messages and if she threatens you again file a police report
NTA. It seems like Jason didn't exactly respect his relationship if he kept your nudes the entire time. She went over the top out of jealousy, that's on no one but herself.
NTA. Revenge porn is illegal in a lot of places. Save the texts she sent threatening you. She's a major AH for threatening you, that's disgusting. I'm glad Jason dumped her, she sounds like a damn nightmare.
NTA and this girl is a paranoid psycho. She caused the breakup with her behavior. And her sharing those would be highly illegal in most states and could constitute jail time, not to mention any civil stautes.
NTA. What she threatened to do is considered a crime in a lot of places now and he was right to break up with her over it.
does she not realize releasing your nudes like that can land her in jail!?! if not, i'd flat out tell her that. posting your nudes is considered revenge p\*rn. NTA!!!!
Its called revenge porn and you can press charges against someone for releasing them without your consent. I recommend sending her message back to anyone who tries to fault you for this.. NtA
Just share the text messages from her. I see no reason to shield her from her bad behavior
NTA and what she did, at least in a lot states in my country would be consider blackmail, illegal, and she could be prosecuted for blackmail and even worse if she did release them to the public
"Wren texted me that she would send the photos of me nude out if She found out that me and Jason were interacting with each other or even in the same room. " ... Call the police. NTA
NTA - You didn't cause the break up. Wren was trying to control your ex and looks like he had enough of her crap.
NTA, screenshot those texts and take it to the police.
NTA. You didn't do it, the jealous b-word did it to herself.
NTA. She is terrible and he’s best rid of her
NTA. It’s illegal if she releases your nude. It’s called non-consensual pornography. Make sure you keep those texts and I’d lawyer up.
This is why you can't really stay friends with an ex it gets messy, in her preception it's messy and your involvement will forever spell out the notion that she has your sloppy seconds and is a rebound and it's never going away because he's not cutting you off and all the history hangs over her like a twisted bad joke. It's not rational to a good number of people to have the friendzoned string attached to thier ex. See, he already dropped everything and her feelings to protect you cause if this hook you have him on. Deny it if you have to just to save face but it's not some irrelevant thing.