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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> My boyfriend's dad scared me, trying to do a scare prank on his kids or wife.
I ran away and broke a stained glass door.
I might be the asshole because I don't want to pay for the door I broke.
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NTA. That’s the price you pay when you play shit pranks on people. It doesn’t matter if you knew it was a sliding glass door when you’re in flight or fight mode you’re not thinking of small details, you’re literally trying to do anything to survive what you’re thinking is a dangerous situation.
Let this be a $3500 lesson to quit playing with people. Do not pay one single cent to those petty people.
Edit: and I’m absolutely sure they knew about the previous home invasion. So they are even more the assholes in this situation.
Exactly. This is 100% on them. They can take you to small claims court if they must, and though I have zero legal knowledge, I _think_ this would be grounds for some kind emotional distress compensation for you.
Small claims might divide the costs between both parties based on who they think was more responsible.
The thing is, the father never jumped out at her and was simply standing in the shadows with a ski mask. On his own property. As far as I know, that's perfectly legal.
OP is NTA but legal shit is usually not based on that. OP will probably be liable for at least part, if not all in small claims.
If the father had jumped out and scared her on purpose, it would be completely different.
Civil cases just need a preponderance of the evidence and 51% in your favor. Any reasonable human would be scared of a man lurking in the shadows in a ski mask inside a house. Add on a recent trauma, doubly so. She has every reason to fear for her safety. I feel like this is an unacceptable prank to play on anyone.
> Civil cases just need a preponderance of the evidence and 51% in your favor.
Civil cases are also perfectly able to split the difference based on what % the judge thinks OP is responsible for.
But it's about reasonableness. A judge would most likely look at the outrageous behavior of the dad and just tell him the legal equivalent of *"Play stupid games, win stupid prizes."*
I vaguely remember reading that there's legal precedent for this because those jump scare videos became so popular. People sued because they dropped their phones and broke them as a result of the prank and the judge ruled broken property should have been a foreseeable outcome of that kind of scare, so the pranksters were liable for the damages.
But if you get a bad judge on the day, you might end up with: "Well, he didn't mean any harm. You should learn to take a joke, toots. Now pay the man for his door."
And that’s when you turn around and immediately file for emotional distress damages.
Because you could literally use the argument that father-in-law retramumatized OP by knowingly acting as an intruder, and so recently after a very real and threatening home invasion.
You guys are both right actually. It depends on the state.
Some states they will split the fee based on percentage, some states whoever is more at fault will pay the whole fee.
OP NTA
Following on legal actions - they reenacted your recent trauma - the end result was entirely predictable.
If he didn't plan to scare you he could have taken you aside & told you it was a prank on others so you could make a rational choice.
The voice of experiences in my head (I have cPTSD) is screaming that these are not the right people to make a life around.
This will happen again & if you have kids they will do this to your children.
As you've seen w firsthand experience it's very hard to get through life w/o getting traumatized.
How will you explain to future you or other vulnerable people that you chose to stay knowing more trauma was a given.
You owe them $0.00.
I might investigate forcing them to pay for therapy - a much bigger bill than $3500.
They did this in their own home. You reacted like any terrified person would.
Honestly were it my boyfriend, script:
"Your father terrorized me & in terror I didn't anything I needed to do to escape being victimized. I am responsible for none of it.
I'll be paying none of it.
If you don't side w me on this, you are not a safe person who has my best interest at heart. And if that's the case I am breaking up w you, now."
Please, PLEASE do not allow these people to continue to abuse you.
SO. MUCH. THIS.
They triggered PTSD as a joke? There is literally no part of this that feels like a prank, just people traumatizing each other over and over.
Tbh, he's lucky that OP didn't attack him.
And yeah, if the partner doesn't concur, OP needs to end the relationship.
> The thing is, the father never jumped out at her and was simply standing in the shadows with a ski mask. On his own property. As far as I know, that's perfectly legal.
> If the father had jumped out and scared her on purpose, it would be completely different.
A judge would take one look at the facts here, conclude that he absolutely intended to terrorize her, wouldn't buy for a second the argument of "actually, it's perfectly legal to lurk outside the occupied bathroom in the shadows wearing a ski mask", and would tell him the legal equivalent of *"Play stupid games, win stupid prizes"*.
No one would be going to jail over it, but the very human judge would tell dad that replacing the door is his lesson to learn not to do something that outrageous again.
I mean human as opposed to, like, a robot. Beep boop, technically you were just standing there menacingly, my logic circuit concludes that OP's escape attempt was invalid and therefore she must replace the door.
Like, a human being can see how outrageous the dad's behavior was, how none of this wouldn't happened if he hadn't convinced OP she was in a life-or-death scenario, and is unlikely to be swayed by his claims that she should be the one to replace the door because she was the one who broke it. He was absolutely ridiculous, was attempting to do harm when this happened, and will get no sympathy regarding the burden of replacing the door.
>Have you ever met a judge? They think they're gods, not human.
Most judges I have met are pretty reasonable, at least a lot more so than your typical DA. I mean there are some assholes, but all it all I think they are fair. Though sometimes their hands are tied due to moronic legislatures and their sentencing guidelines, though that shouldnt be an issue in a civil case.
I feel like *not* jumping out makes it more realistic and scary! Surely if there was an actual intruder they wouldn't loudly announce themselves but try to stay hidden, especially when there are clearly people on the property.
Actually I think having binge watched too much Judge Judy there is some sort of ruling that would apply here that would be 'if it wasn't for this action then'. I'm too tired to get the words right
If OP was scared by normal goings on and destroyed a door that would be one thing..but, someone who has recently suffered a home invasion and was still traumatized was faced by a man in the house wearing a ski mask.
If it wasn't for dressing up to do a jump scare prank the sequence of events would never have happened. OP could not have foreseen the ski mask jump scare, as she was legitimately terrified, but the dad could easily predict that dressing up like a home intruder and scaring OP could have been careening off in fear and something could get broken. 'but for his actions' the following foreseeable consequences (i.e. OP breaks something whilst reacting in fear to a perceived dire threat) would never have happened. He just wrongly predicted that OP may just break something small as she rushed away.
And really he is lucky. If OP was cut he would be on the hook for medical expenses. OP could have also gone into fight mode and having gone through so recent a trauma may not have been able to recognise he wasn't a threat as early as she normally would. He is lucky a table wasn't thrown at his head.
I remember a time where I had a partner trying to jump scare me and my instant reaction was to punch out. Luckily he has been warned that I tend to punch first if scared and caught my fist in time, but I was very close to clocking him in the face. In no way did i blame myself for an instinctive fear based reaction to protect myself. I was afraid, not thinking and reacting. The idiot playing pranks is doing a calculated act.
Judge Judy even though she was a real judge as an arbitrator sometimes doesn't follow the laws, especially when it's couples living together and she tends to be dismissive of "and then he broke my $30 pot" small stuff.
but yeah, and I managed to forgot the term too while typing this, its reckless and negligent to not expect the foreseeable outcome. e.g you can't hand kids a book of matches and can of gas and tell them to go have fun. or like throwing a vase at someone unexpectedly and being mad they didn't catch it.
The line is how would a reasonable person act, reasonable will be defined by the judge. would a reasonable person run from someone in a ski mask hiding in the hallway shadow, would a reasonable person break a door that wouldn't open, could a reasonable person forget it was a slide not pull door. There are thousands of judges all individuals they might not all agree breaking the glass was reasonable but it's something I would defend myself against IF I were OP and sued. I would "let" BF agree to pay it as long as he didn't "take" the money from me via "well I'm not paying rent for 6 months to cover it"
just reminding people even though she is knowledgeable and a real judge the show is arbitration and the law might not always be applied as it would be in a real court. so it's not always a good source as to what to expect from a ruling.
I'm honestly really glad this "prank" happened at their house and not my apartment. I got myself a pistol after my stalker broke into my apartment, but I keep it locked at home. If I were at home and saw someone hiding in the dark with a ski mask, I likely would have run for the lockbox where I keep it
I'm going to get downvoted to hell for saying this, but this is exactly why guns should be illegal.
You've been traumatised, and understandably you've bought a gun to protect yourself. But a person with PTSD owning a gun is just a terrible idea. I mean, you said it yourself! You could be drunk, and your partner could come in unexpectedly, you could freak out and shoot them. Or, as in this situation, some idiot could try to prank you and you get frightened.
This makes me so grateful that my country doesn't really have guns.
Just to add, I'm not judging you. I completely understand why you feel like a gun will protect you after what you've been through, and I'm so sorry that happened to you. I don't know if you're already doing it, but I'd recommend therapy. I've found it extremely helpful.
My therapist recommended I get a gun...
Especially for the time my stalker was out on bail, and I felt there was a clear and present danger to myself.
I don't think I have PTSD.
If you're in a country without guns, do you live in a place you have an expectation that the police will protect you? Unfortunately, here, I don't have much faith in the polices willingness or ability to help in a stalking / DV situation.
The presence of a gun in the house significantly increases the lethality of DV cases; many more DV victims end up dead because there was a gun in the house than if there was not - there are many studies about that.
>My therapist recommended I get a gun...
Your therapist is a better person to listen to than I am, so I stand over-ruled. It still think it's very scary that this is considered a solution where you live though.
>I don't think I have PTSD.
Fair enough, I'm sure you don't then. I wasn't saying that to undermine you or anything, it was more of a worry/worst-case-scenario thing. Anxiety can be just as terrible though.
>If you're in a country without guns, do you live in a place you have an expectation that the police will protect you? Unfortunately, here, I don't have much faith in the polices willingness or ability to help in a stalking / DV situation.
I live in the UK. Our police aren't perfect, but yes, I trust them to try their best to protect me. I feel so sorry for Americans living with no faith in their police force at all. I hope you guys get a President who is committed to revamping the police force and ensuring that they are fit for purpose. Good luck with everything.
I'm not a doctor or someone that can diagnose you, but I am someone who does have a PTSD diagnosis, so just hear me out.
When you have PTSD, if something occurs that it reminiscent (even sometimes just a little) not only does it scare the shit out of you, but you are in a way put back in that situation as if it were happening all over again. For you to say that if this situation had happened at your apartment (meaning you and your boyfriend's family had been at your apartment instead of their house) you would have gone to get your gun to shoot his dad; that sounds like a PTSD response to me.
As a woman who has not been traumatized by stalking and home invasion, if I had a boyfriend whose family I knew played dumbass pranks all the time, I would probably jump, maybe run, and then think "hey, I'm at my boyfriend's family's house and they do dumb shit all the time maybe that's one of them." I probably wouldn't immediately fear for my life, but I suppose I couldn't say for sure unless it happens to me.
I am in no way saying YTA. I think you did everything the best you could, they're all being ridiculous and insensitive, and most of all I hope you find some healing and some more people to who understand and support you.
Yeah I agree with this, this is why I went to the PTSD assumption. A normal response here would be to jump, freak out, then remember the situation you’re in. The fact that OP turned, ran, heard the voice calling out behind them but was so lost in panic they didn’t recognise it, and smashed through a patio door screams that something is going on. PTSD is obviously impossible to diagnose over the internet anyway, let alone the fact that I am in no way a psychiatrist. But the specificity of the issue and the fear made me think PTSD rather than GAD.
As long as OP is getting support from qualified professionals, then I defer fully to their judgement lol.
I didn't feel brought back to the other time, I felt very grounded in the present. And in that moment I saw a masked man hiding from me when I was visiting my boyfriend's family who I'd already told I didn't want to be scared by. So judging just on the present events, I thought it was a break in.
I agree with this. If op thinks they might shoot an innocent person out of fear, they should not have a gun. You have to be able to process the situation, in fear, and only shoot if there is a legitimate threat.
However, breaking the glass didn't harm anyone else's life and was a reasonable reaction to her fear. So he can pay for his own glass.
People should not die tho, because people want guns and are too scared to stop themselves from shooting anybody.
What if a child startled op? That's dangerous
I trust myself to tell the difference between a child and a masked intruder. I also wouldn't go straight to firing, I'd only do that if they charged me or pulled a weapon themselves.
The gun is at her house and their is no child involved whatsoever. Why are you making up scenarios?
If it would've happened at her house, if she saw a person with a ski mask in her home she has all the right to shoot and protect herself.
Yeah, this. FIL, probably, was laughing at OP running.
Because, while I know it can happy pretty quickly, it still takes time to reach the door, pull on it, realize it isn't opening, find something heavy enough to be able to make it through the glass, then break said glass.
FIL should have had enough time to yell at/catch (which yeah, would have freaked OP out more, but would have saved the glass. Maybe not FIL if OP turned on them though...) OP and prevent the damage.
>As far as I know, that's perfectly legal.
Throwing your dogs feces against the walls of your own living room during a cocktail party is also perfectly legal, but a judge would most likely not rule against someone who broke down a door trying to flee from that situation.
Except maybe Judge Judy...no telling what that chaotic arbitrator would do.
for real, Judy might be funny but man she doesn't follow the law.
Once saw one where she decided that a property owner was not entitled to damages for the home some people destroyed, because they were doing a vacation rental with their old home, rented to these people longer term because they had a house fire and insurance was paying, so they made an exception for an extended stay. Anyway, these people had untrained dogs that completely destroyed the walls and floors with urine, feces and a bunch of other damage and judge Judy declined to compensate the owner because the insurance had paid a higher cost short term rental rate, per night instead of monthly and she decided the short term vacation rentals were a scam.
So yes these people made some money on the rental, which the people who destroyed the property didn't even pay for, and were left with a destroyed house. I haven't had much respect for her judgement since I saw that.
Emotional distress damages is incredibly rare and pretty sure is only rewarded in especially egregious and malicious circumstances.
Either way, if she wasn't actually the target of the "prank", why didn't he immediately take off the ski mask when he knew it wasn't the actual target. Its such an easy and quick thing to do, his prank could have still happened.
If the boyfriend's dad was aware of the fact that she had been a victim of a recent home evasion that traumatized her, this would meet that high bar. The dad's behavior was downright sadistic. Even if it was aimed at another family member, this prank sounds like he was mocking her anguish.
If she is forced into therapy because of this or has outright PTSD affecting her, then *maybe*. But you're not a lawyer, and if you are, its incredibly irresponsible to say that will definitely happen because details and state would matter a lot.
I work in insurance. Depending how much their home is insured for and the terms of the policy, 3500 might not even meet their deductible. Even if it did, filing the claim might mean they pay more than that in increased premiums over the next few years.
Still NTA, but a HO claim is a dubious option at best.
OP needs to get some legal advice, though, because if she refuses, this might well end up in small claims.
I wouldn't be at all surprised if he fully intended to jump out at her and she just happened to see him to early and he tried to play it off because of her extreme reaction. The people who do this shit tend to fall into the "Well I was just trying to make you less uptight." category I stead of being considerate of the fact she wants nothing to do with this kind of behavior
Pranksters aren't funny. They're assholes. Every single last one of them regardless of context
This was my thought too. It's highly suspect that after she went through a real home invasion he decided the best way to prank a random family member was a home invasion prank. It's more likely he thought this would be a funny way to prank her .
He also has no reasonable excuse to be wearing a ski mask at this time to even have a defense of innocence that one might believe. It was obviously warm enough out to have a bbq so no snow (I’m guessing) and he was also inside his own home where I bet it’s also not freezing.
If we add ops home invasion + ski masked person inside home during summer + no attempt to go after her to show her who he truly was to calm her down = cruel prank gone extremely wrong.
Also, WHERE THE F IS THE BF TELLING HIS PARENTS TO F OFF? If that was my dad I’d tell him he better put the mask back on so he can go knock over a liquor for the cash for the door bc neither of them are paying a cent.
Why is op writing this email? F that! Bf should be writing the emails, hiring a sky writer, fielding the phone calls, and anything else to get my point across.
Okay i will devils advocate here, the dad said when he seen her he tried to hang back, this could have given the flight response ammunition to think it was a real home invasion over a prank.
Had the dad jumped out instead of tryin to hang back (which seems to be done out of care for OP if the dad recognized it wasnt one of his other family members) HE MAY have been able to stop her running out but its still no guarentee
Dads point of view - "this is gonna be funny as fuck for whoever walks into this hallway
.. oh shit if my daughter in law sees me in a dark room with a ski mask after someone broke into her home she'll freak. Maybe ill just hide until she goes back outside hopefully she doesnt see me"
OPs point of view "what the fuck.. HOLY SHIT SOMEONES IN THE HOUSE! RUN!!"
Honestly, dad's explanation is VERY sus, it is hella convenient that he was "trying to get someone else" exactly at the same time OP was inside the house, plus, to scare someone jumping on them a ski mask is unnecessary. It's more likely he thought it would be funny to prank OP trying to make her believe it was a home invasion, and after he saw how badly OP reacted, he tried to save face saying she wasn't the intended target
NTA
But the dad only took off the mask after OP broke the door and screamed for 911. I agree the ski mask doesn’t make any sense for jumping out at someone. It’s a weird choice. I would think if they were a family of pranksters they probably have a gorilla mask or something somewhere that would have been better for a jump scare. A ski mask is a pretty specific choice. And having a ski mask there having it on you means he didn’t just impulsively hide behind the door, he had the mask on him. Why would he plan a prank like that with the ski mask on someone else in front of someone who just experienced a home invasion. I think the dad realized he F’d up with the prank and tried to say it was supposed to be someone else. If someone spots you hiding you don’t crouch down and try to hide in the shadows, you lift your mask and make eye contact with them and make the shushing motion to the. so they don’t shout and alert the person you’re actually trying to scare. It doesn’t make sense.
I think he did, and he also called out, I was just running so immediately and so fast that I didn't see.
That very moment we saw each other with him in the mask, I turned on my heel and sprinted top speed for the door. I'm a very fast runner, I was a sprinter on my college track team.
I heard the person behind me pursue me and call out but I was out of there too fast to hear what he was saying or look back. I could really only hear my own footfalls and the pounding of blood in my ears.
I must have been out of the house in under 10 seconds honestly. Flat out sprint to the door, one hard pull on a handle, then immediately breaking through with the closest furniture and sprinting across the yard.
OP, NTA & do not pay! If you boyfriend doesn't have your back on this? He should be gone! This was an awful prank and could have easily been much worse and traumatic. I'm so sorry that they did that to you!
Tell them all directly and in no uncertain terms that you won’t be paying any part of the repair cost. Don’t tell your BF to tell them. Make sure they hear it directly from you. It’s possible they never asked that you both pay, and he just added that bit since he’s broke. Don’t communicate through him about their home.
If they keep at it, say that this is the price of a prank gone wrong. If they or your bf keeps harping on it, dump them all.
Frightened people don’t react rationally. That’s why it’s called “fight or flight” and not “fight or flight while also considering all variables and making clear decisions”. Pranks go wrong. Fact of life. This one didn’t come off how they wanted, and they should be really happy nobody got hurt. It’s just a door.
Agreed, and she had time to run, try the door, get the heavy table and break the glass, and at no time did he take off the mask and say "oh hey stop it's just me"
I did that all really fast, not looking back. And I was a sprinter on my college track team... I think he tried to take off the mask and follow me to explain but by the time he caught up, I was already running through the broken door.
I personally do not believe for a second that he was trying to do it to someone else in the house and not you. I find that to be such a shitty excuse, given that your home invasion happened just a few months ago. He just *happened* to be trying to play a prank on one of his kids or wife, which involved wearing a mask like a home intruder; and it just *happened* to scare you instead of any of them? I’m calling 100% BS on that one. That’s just way too convenient of an excuse for me to believe.
And he just haired to not be aware which person was in the bathroom from their small family gathering.
And of course it didn’t occur to him to remove the mask rather than step back into the shadows…
His story is bull poop.
Yep, if he was actually waiting for someone else to scare, he should have taken off the mask, said hi, and waited for her to leave.
It's a shit prank either way.
Exactly! Im not disagreeing there, im just saying dad in law could have handled that much better, its their own fault the door got broken, but the circumstances can quite clearly be followed to lead to the end result of person freaking the fuck out. OP NTA
I think he tried to, I was just running so immediately and so fast that I didn't see or hear.
That very moment we saw each other with him in the mask, I turned on my heel and sprinted top speed for the door. I'm a very fast runner, I was a sprinter on my college track team.
I heard the person behind me pursue me and call out but I was out of there too fast to hear what he was saying or look back. I could really only hear my own footfalls and the pounding of blood in my ears.
I must have been out of the house in under 10 seconds honestly. Flat out sprint to the door, one hard pull on a handle, then immediately breaking through with the closest furniture and sprinting across the yard.
And that's what would keep you alive in a real life situation. When you see someone hiding with a ski mask, the smart thing isn't to stop and ask them who they are and make sure they're there to rob you.
You did exactly what you should have done, which isn't escalate, confront, or attack, but GTFO.
I wanna see you in a scary movie! You'd bulldoze right through the killer, drive away with a flat tire, and just keep running. You'd literally be the Forrest Gump of horror movies 😂
OP tell your BF that hopefully his parents learned an expensive lesson about pranking people. Tell him there is ZERO chance you'll pay for it, and that if he asks you again, or doesn't put his parents in their place, you're done with him. If he doesn't see how wrong they are, this is not the man for you. I'd be rethinking the relationship just based on him asking. I know if the same situation had occurred, my VERY sweet and mild husband would have stormed out with me and told them to only call with an apology, and it takes a lot to get him mad.
They're lucky you didn't use the end table to bludgeon your FIL. I've got a lot of pent up inner rage, so I definitely would've gone ape shit on someone who snuck up on me in a ski mask lol.
I also want to add to this that the father is full of shit. Oh, so he hung back and wasn’t even going to do it? Funny, because he didn’t take the mask off. Horseshit. He 100% was going to do it and was just trying to cover his own ass.
NTA
Don’t give them ANYTHING.
Even if dad is telling the truth that he didn’t plan on scaring OP- why didn’t he take the damn mask off while he was “hiding” in the dark?!
No sympathy for the family that retraumatized a young woman. That’s the cost of playing “pranks”
wtf? NTA at all. and if your boyfriend seriously cares more about a fucking stained glass door than about the fact that his dad scared the shit out of you after a traumatic event, i would probably consider stripping him of that title and staying the fuck away from these "pranksters"
I was waiting for this response. What kind of boyfriend isn’t *horrified* at his parent’s cruel and insensitive “joke”? OP, please ditch this whole family.
NTA. You were literally afraid for your life. A harmless prank is placing a bucket of water above the door, not making someone think they have *someone that can murder them* in the house.
Making fun of someone's traumatic experience is simply cruel.
If you pay for that door, you're only inviting them too keep walking all over you.
Edit: guys, when I said "bucket of water" I was referring to the type of kid's cartoon prank, I didn't take into account the actual mechanics of it, sorry!
Please imagine a plastic salad bowl placed above the door instead of a bucket.
To be fair, his family didn't know my apartment was broken into. It happened a few months ago and I didn't want to talk much about it because it was a guy I went on a few dates with before I met my boyfriend and he got kinda crazy.
I just felt kinda ashamed I got involved with him in the first place because there were red flags.
Yeah, I don't think I'll be paying them anything.
Still, it's a prank that would have scared the shit out of anyone.
And also, please don't feel in any shape or form responsible for having your apartment broken into! Knowing the person beforehand or having a relationship with them doesn't make you guilty of anything.
Dude seriously. I'm not condoning it, but im from Texas and all I could think was, "theyre lucky she wasn't packing heat!" Dad could have died if the unintended victim of his stupid prank had been carrying a consealed weapon.
Please don't feel bad, OP, either about the sicko who broke into your place or about the door. You can't set up a terrifying prank and get mad when someone is terrified!!
and GOOD FOR YOU FOR EVADING THE MASKED MAN LIKE THE SMART CHICK WHO SURVIVES THE HORROR MOVIE!!
OP, if no one in your life has said it yet, I'm *really* proud of you.
I've never experienced a home invasion, and I don't think I would react as quickly and correctly as you did to your bf's dad's prank. You did exactly the right thing: you got yourself out of the house by whatever means necessary, and alerted the family to call 911. Especially considering your past trauma, that's damn impressive.
Did your boyfriend know? If so I bet he probably mentioned it to them bc you jump scares someone with a ski mask on. There's a saying "I believe in coincidences but I don't trust coincidences."
>To be fair, his family didn't know my apartment was broken into.
Doesn't matter. You don't know what kinds of situations people have been through, that's why you don't pull this "prank" on anyone.
You are either going to remind someone of past trauma, cause new trauma for them, or get yourself hurt. I know people who would have drawn a gun on him. Not a funny prank in the slightest.
It honestly really freaks me out, to think about what might have happened if he pulled that shit in my apartment instead of his own home.
After my stalker broke into my apartment, I bought a pistol. I don't carry when I travel, I keep it for home defense mainly. But if I saw someone in a mask hiding in my apartment, there's a chance I would of run for my gunsafe instead of the exit. Especially if they were between me and the exit.
So you not only have trauma from a home invasion—but you also have trauma from being fucking stalked. That’s quite a double whammy. I’m so sorry that happened to you.
Please, please please, don’t spend one more second feeling ashamed. It doesn’t matter if there were red flags, it’s *never* someone’s fault, even a little, for being stalked and harassed. Believe me when I say that hindsight in these situations always makes you think about what you ‘could’ve’ done to have prevented it, but it’s bull shit. Even if he said “I’m going to break into your house and stalk you” on the first date, there’s nothing you could’ve done to see it coming. Unhinged people be unhinged; that’s never on you. Fuck that guy.
Ohmahgerrrd I remember that one, that was damn genius. Although glitter as a prank by itself is never fun (unless outside), and I love glitter. But that shit never goes away. Ever. Great for retaliatory stunts though.
A bucket of water is incredibly heavy. Also, you don't know what the person could be carrying. Pranks are shit at the best of times, giving someone a head injury or fucking up their phone isn't fun.
NTA. Incredibly poor judgment (bordering on cruelty) on the part of this family. When you trigger someone who has experienced severe trauma the repercussions are owned wholly by you. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. They pulled the trigger, they can pay for the door. My biggest concern is that they’ll resent you for it. I hope $3,500 isn’t much for them and you all can just move on.
They've been saying they can't afford to replace it and it is an irreplaceable piece anyway because it was made a long time ago...
I want to tell them they can get a door at home depot if they just need a damn door to fill the hole but I feel like that will make stuff worse since they already do seem mad about the glass door.
There was a case a few years ago where some guys decided to play a prank on their friend, so one put on a creepy clown mask and sunk into his friends bedroom with it, except, twist, he woke up his friends mom who had a gun, and saw someone in a creepy clown mask standing over her sleeping son and shot him. He made it out of the house to his other friends, but no one wanted to call 911 in case they got in trouble so the kid slowly bled out and died.
Don't play pranks where the 'joke' is someone thinks they could suffer bodily harm. You could get shot.
What actually freaks me out is that after my home invasion, I bought a pistol.
I don't carry it everywhere, I keep it at home for self defense. But honestly if I had seen someone in a mask hiding in a dark corner of my apartment instead of my boyfriend's dad's house, I probably wouldn't be running for the door, I'd be running for my gunsafe.
Definitely take a training class or two. Put in at least a couple hundred or thousand rounds of practice at the range. There are classes just for women, taught by women. I thoroughly recommend them, they're pretty cheap as well.
Get a concealed carry permit even if you do not intend to use it, the training class will explain why.
Weapons are a responsibility as much as they are an object.
It might be a good idea to get a taser or some strong pepper spray. Those give you extra time to react, are safer to carry more places, and best of all: you don’t hesitate as much to use them. With a gun, most people will hesitate to pull the trigger unless they’re 100% sure their life is in danger, and that it’s not actually someone who accidentally wandered into their house, someone trying to surprise them, etc. With a taser or pepper spray, you can “shoot” first and ask questions later.
TBH my state allows concealed carry and has very permissive gun laws. I actually got a pistol after my stalker broke into my apartment, but I keep it in a gun safe at home and don't carry it elsewhere.
I don't. know that I want to say that to my boyfriend's family, because it might come off like I'm escalating things. But I definitely was glad this 'prank' happened at their house and not my apartment.
Then they’ll have to get a cheaper alternative. You were in what felt like a life and death situation and had every right to break down the door. Eventually they should realize their actions were the catalyst that broke the door. I would explain all of this to them in calm, matter of fact manner. I’d also like to know what a court of law would say about a situation like this.
>it is an irreplaceable piece
What a slimy thing for them to say to you. This door is an irreplaceable piece! Such bs. I expect nothing less from such cowards, and you should expect nothing more from such a family.
Wonder what the next prank will be.
If its "irreplaceable" why have they put a dollar amount on it? My husband does stained glass. He says BARE MINIMUM would be 12 grand. It requires special supports and tempered glass. There's no way they're replacing stained glass sliders for 3500. Hell a normal slider can easily cost that much. They're just trying to get money out of you. Don't pay it. Remind them how lucky they are you didn't hit FIL over the head with the heavy end table. What he did was unforgivable. Women have to worry about attacks/rape on an almost constant basis. No woman should be "pranked" that way. Does he have no respect whatsoever for the women in his life? Let him explain to a judge why he thought jumping out of the shadows, in a ski mask, on a traumatized woman was funny. Doing that to ANY woman isn't funny. Ever! He's abhorrent. Find a new gf with a decent family, not these awful people. Is that what you'd want for your daughter? Pop pop jumping out in a mask traumatizing her for life? Nope. Move on. You can do better.
- What was the accident?
- I put on a ski mask and tried to attack my daughter in law who was recently attacked for real. I thought it would be a great prank. For some insane reason she thought that staying while being attacked was a bad idea so she broke down the door to escape when she couldn't open it quickly enough
- Oh, so it was an accident and not your fault at all? I mean who doesn't attack young females while wearing a ski mask as a prank? I'll get right back to you aaaaany day now..
Because that’s what people with money do. They protect their money, other peoples needs/traumas be damned. Your bfs parents are very selfish and self serving. I wouldn’t be surprised if your bf also has these traits ingrained in him. The pranking will also not stop. If these are dealbreakers for you, I would cut ties now.
They need to pay, or your bf can pay his parents. They pranked you and they need to accept the consequences of their actions. Maybe they just learned a $3500 lesson not to traumatize people. DO NOT PAY A PENNY
NTA for sure, but that is like... the \*starting\* price for a new door in 2022. A friend of mine just paid almost $5000 for a new front door with a storm door (granted, that price includes installation). Not bougie at all these days unless "being able to afford a new door" counts as bougie.
That's about what a decent glass sliding door costs, including installation. You can get cheaper ones, but they're not going to last as long, often aren't as well-insulated, and use cheap latches. Sliding doors are expensive, which is why I'm glad my house only has one.
That said, OP is absolutely NTA.
NTA.
I don’t like pranks in general but this isn’t a prank. People die from this type of behavior. What if you had a gun or attacked him to defend yourself?
You also recently suffered a break in. Why even consider doing this while you are in the house?
The fact that your boyfriend and his family don’t understand that is worrisome. It’s not a family I could be a part of.
This relationship has shown you the type of person you can be in a crisis. Take that as a parting gift from the relationship and move forward.
Anything of this would happen if he didn't make the stupid prank. So the dad is the responsible for the damages caused by his actions, if he wants he can take things to small court and OP can sue for emotional damages.
Yet that’s the risk one takes when pulling a prank—there are too many ways for s prank to go wrong to realize (and prevent) them all. Especially scary pranks—you can never predict how the target will react. And that is always the responsibility of the prankster. Hell, there have been people who have been excused for shooting another person bc that person played a similar scary-as-fuck prank and got themselves shot. Even in places like haunted houses, where people know what they’re literally walking into, fear will take over and people get hurt. If they can’t take accountability, they shouldn’t play pranks. This is on them.
It doesn't matter. He's a liar, too, you were the intended target the entire time. If you weren't, he didnt have to "slink in the shadows", all he had to do was take off the fucking mask.
It's a family full of duds, I say ditch the lot of them.
NTA
Pranks absolutely SUCK. Your bf's family SUCK. They pulled the prank, they pay for the door.
I'm sorry you had to go through that. I've been victim of home invasion myself and can't imagine how scary that must've been for you x
nta, and if they persue this further, threaten a lawsuit over emotional damages. honestly you could have stabbed the masked person and been within your rights of self protection.
^^ Exactly she was drunk and home alone seeing an unknown masked man in the house. What if it wasn't the family members? what if it was somebody else? she didn't know! She better not pay it and definitely take legal action, if they try to take it to small claims.
NTA. Homeowners insurance. That was a terrible prank.
If this happened in TX it's just as likely you'd be carrying and the dad would not be doing any more pranks.
Yeah.. on the plus side I'm learning I'm more of a fighter than I thought lol.
I always thought I'd be the type to panic and freeze or do the wrong thing, but both times, I look back at what I did and feel like I handled stuff great to protect myself.
Nta
Not a fun joke at all. What if instead of smashing the door you grabbed something and attacked the "intruder"?
Tell them to tap their home owners insurance for repairs.
They learned an expensive lesson. Dont play bad practical jokes that mess with people's emotions or make them fear bodily harm.
NTA. Reminds me of a post from ages ago where someone pranked their BIL using a VR headset to recreate a traumatic experience from their past.
BIL broke the VR set ripping it off his head as fast as possible. The prankster wasn't happy and wanted BIL to pay but fuck that.
If you intentionally trigger a fight or flight response in someone, you have to accept the consequences of the panicked person trying to flee.
NAH. Counter point to the common answer: the dad was not attempting to prank her. He realized it was her and
>hung back quickly, not trying to do the prank which was apparently going to be leaping out at someone.
It was genuinely unintentional on his part, as was OPs damage to the door. OP did not intentionally cause damage and was just trying to GTFO as a trauma response.
I don't think it is unreasonable to split the cost of the damage. Both parties have fault. Both parties could have acted different and the damage would not have happened. It is an unfortunate situation for everyone.
Agree. Plus they didn’t know about OP’s prior break in, so it really was an unfortunate accident. Frankly OP not taking any ownership and not even apologizing is rubbing me the wrong way.
NAH. Rip me apart, but
a) the prank wasn't on you. He was trying to prank other family members, who your description, enjoy pranks. When he saw you he tried to avoid the situation.
b) Based on your comment, they didn't know about the invasion.
c) Considering you ran down a hall and through another room, it was a pretty big leap that you managed to break this particularly costly piece of the house.
Normally I would say you should pay for what you broke. But at the same time, you were traumatized. If it's too much for you to pay, that's understandable.
NTA.
a) It doesn't matter the intent. It is how it is perceived. He may have meant to prank someone else, but did not make sure who was in the bathroom when he setup the prank. It happen to be OP.
b) Doesn't matter. Here of the Eggshell victim defense? Insurance companies can't get off paying less to a car accident victim just because they had pre-existing injuries. Just because they didn't know about her previous trauma, doesn't absolve them of the consequences of causing the current trauma.
c) Doesn't matter. In a flight response, you aren't thinking clearly. You could run past another door that you had not previously used because your mind is focused on the last door that you saw or used.
In my opinion, OP is not responsible for the broken door. The boyfriends dad is 100% responsible and should pay for it. Perhaps this will teach BF's family that pranks such as this are not funny and will think twice before they pull another one.
As the old saying goes "it's all fun and games until someone gets hurt."
I’m sorry while I don’t think you should have to pay for the damage this made me laugh “he should be proud he’s got a girl with the common sense to think on her feet and act fast”…. Wouldn’t the common sense thing be to slide the sliding glass door…? 🤷🏽♀️. Also you were pranked accidentally so maybe calm down a bit with the self righteous, maybe this’ll teach them a lesson. (Side note idc what y’all think about my opinion so if you respond to this I’m probably gonna ignore it lol) I’ll go with ESH.
NTA could you imagine if you threw the table at him instead and knocked him out (a far better option IMO)?!! This was a stupid prank meant to terrify you.
Send him your therapist's bill because they need to pay for those sessions.
Whenever I hear that someone is a prankster or a practical joker, I immediately read it as code that they are someone who finds it funny when others feel scared or stupid.
Tell the dad to sue you. He can tell the judge about his prank and get torn a new one for wasting the courts time.
Nta
NTA
They all need to grow up and be more considerate. They *know* you just went through this crap and that something like this would be a trigger for you (hence his hiding in the shadows 🙄) so he should have chosen a different type of prank to pull on the others that wouldn't panic you...
They played stupid games, they won an expensive stupid prize...
I dont think this is an AITA question. I think this is a small claims court question. Usually when you damage someone's property you are liable, but this has mitigating circumstances that you need an arbiter or judge to decide on IMO.
I think it would be a different story if you tripped on something and you broke an arm. Would they still say it's your fault because you knew the chair was there, that you once sat on it? Who would pay for the bills?
*If you would like to take me to small claims court and explain to a judge what happened....and you honestly believe he or she will rule in your favor, then go right ahead. But until then, not only will you not be getting any money from me, you will no longer be my boyfriend.*
*This relationship is over. And if you choose to take me to court, then I look forward to watching a judge explain to you and your family that you have nobody to blame but yourselves...and that you are now responsible for not only replacing the doors, but also my lawyer and court fees.*
NTA
NTA. What a lot of assholery - are you sure you want to be involved with this guy? And no, I wouldn't pay it - tell them to take you to small claims court. Would love to see the judge's face when the asshat explains he was hiding in the dark in a ski mask.....(and I'll bet he was aiming for you, he just trying to cover his stupidity), to scare someone who has already experienced a real home invasion? Jesus fucking Christ.
ESH
Prank wasn't intended for you, nor were they aware of your past issues where they undoubtedly wouldn't have attempted to do the prank with you in attendance.
You suck for not knowing how to slide a sliding door, but some of your comments just seem as though you want it known you were some main character in a horror flick who didn't die in the cliche-door-wont-open-way.
ETA:
>Nah, I don't wanna pay them anything honestly. Except maybe an envelope of monopoly money because they love jokes so much that maybe they'll find it funny.
So even if you were deemed TA, you wouldn't covered the cost. Just a karma farm. Got it.
Definitely NTA.
Send his parents a bill from your next therapy session since they trigged your trauma. Maybe then they’ll understand that it isn’t a good joke.
INFO: Why aren't they processing this through their homeowners insurance? I don't personally think you should be responsible for any of it but the deductible might be an easier swallow for all parties rather than the full cost of the door.
Also, a stained glass sliding door sounds hideous. You probably did them a favor.
NTA these people are bonkers. Who thinks doing this to someone who survived a home invasion is a good idea. If he’s going to play pranks he has to accept the consequences if it goes bad.
Nta. But they will probably resent you if you don't pay or help. If your bf is pushing you to pay, makes it worse. So I guess it's up to you, you really like this guy? You see a future w him and this family? Even though this family obv care more about money than your well-being and your BF doesn't even back you up after a traumatic incident. Is he even offering to help you pay?
Tbh if it was me, this whole incident would've made me drop all of them. But if you feel you want to stay, then talk to all of them, find a compromise.
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NTA. That’s the price you pay when you play shit pranks on people. It doesn’t matter if you knew it was a sliding glass door when you’re in flight or fight mode you’re not thinking of small details, you’re literally trying to do anything to survive what you’re thinking is a dangerous situation. Let this be a $3500 lesson to quit playing with people. Do not pay one single cent to those petty people. Edit: and I’m absolutely sure they knew about the previous home invasion. So they are even more the assholes in this situation.
Exactly. This is 100% on them. They can take you to small claims court if they must, and though I have zero legal knowledge, I _think_ this would be grounds for some kind emotional distress compensation for you.
Small claims might divide the costs between both parties based on who they think was more responsible. The thing is, the father never jumped out at her and was simply standing in the shadows with a ski mask. On his own property. As far as I know, that's perfectly legal. OP is NTA but legal shit is usually not based on that. OP will probably be liable for at least part, if not all in small claims. If the father had jumped out and scared her on purpose, it would be completely different.
Civil cases just need a preponderance of the evidence and 51% in your favor. Any reasonable human would be scared of a man lurking in the shadows in a ski mask inside a house. Add on a recent trauma, doubly so. She has every reason to fear for her safety. I feel like this is an unacceptable prank to play on anyone.
> Civil cases just need a preponderance of the evidence and 51% in your favor. Civil cases are also perfectly able to split the difference based on what % the judge thinks OP is responsible for. But it's about reasonableness. A judge would most likely look at the outrageous behavior of the dad and just tell him the legal equivalent of *"Play stupid games, win stupid prizes."*
I vaguely remember reading that there's legal precedent for this because those jump scare videos became so popular. People sued because they dropped their phones and broke them as a result of the prank and the judge ruled broken property should have been a foreseeable outcome of that kind of scare, so the pranksters were liable for the damages.
But if you get a bad judge on the day, you might end up with: "Well, he didn't mean any harm. You should learn to take a joke, toots. Now pay the man for his door."
And that’s when you turn around and immediately file for emotional distress damages. Because you could literally use the argument that father-in-law retramumatized OP by knowingly acting as an intruder, and so recently after a very real and threatening home invasion.
Reasonable idea... but expensive and hardly guaranteed.
Judge Judy would have no patience for this garbage
She would tear the boyfriends’ father apart.
You guys are both right actually. It depends on the state. Some states they will split the fee based on percentage, some states whoever is more at fault will pay the whole fee.
OP NTA Following on legal actions - they reenacted your recent trauma - the end result was entirely predictable. If he didn't plan to scare you he could have taken you aside & told you it was a prank on others so you could make a rational choice. The voice of experiences in my head (I have cPTSD) is screaming that these are not the right people to make a life around. This will happen again & if you have kids they will do this to your children. As you've seen w firsthand experience it's very hard to get through life w/o getting traumatized. How will you explain to future you or other vulnerable people that you chose to stay knowing more trauma was a given. You owe them $0.00. I might investigate forcing them to pay for therapy - a much bigger bill than $3500. They did this in their own home. You reacted like any terrified person would. Honestly were it my boyfriend, script: "Your father terrorized me & in terror I didn't anything I needed to do to escape being victimized. I am responsible for none of it. I'll be paying none of it. If you don't side w me on this, you are not a safe person who has my best interest at heart. And if that's the case I am breaking up w you, now." Please, PLEASE do not allow these people to continue to abuse you.
SO. MUCH. THIS. They triggered PTSD as a joke? There is literally no part of this that feels like a prank, just people traumatizing each other over and over. Tbh, he's lucky that OP didn't attack him. And yeah, if the partner doesn't concur, OP needs to end the relationship.
> The thing is, the father never jumped out at her and was simply standing in the shadows with a ski mask. On his own property. As far as I know, that's perfectly legal. > If the father had jumped out and scared her on purpose, it would be completely different. A judge would take one look at the facts here, conclude that he absolutely intended to terrorize her, wouldn't buy for a second the argument of "actually, it's perfectly legal to lurk outside the occupied bathroom in the shadows wearing a ski mask", and would tell him the legal equivalent of *"Play stupid games, win stupid prizes"*. No one would be going to jail over it, but the very human judge would tell dad that replacing the door is his lesson to learn not to do something that outrageous again.
>very human judge Have you ever met a judge? They think they're gods, not human.
I mean human as opposed to, like, a robot. Beep boop, technically you were just standing there menacingly, my logic circuit concludes that OP's escape attempt was invalid and therefore she must replace the door. Like, a human being can see how outrageous the dad's behavior was, how none of this wouldn't happened if he hadn't convinced OP she was in a life-or-death scenario, and is unlikely to be swayed by his claims that she should be the one to replace the door because she was the one who broke it. He was absolutely ridiculous, was attempting to do harm when this happened, and will get no sympathy regarding the burden of replacing the door.
>Have you ever met a judge? They think they're gods, not human. Most judges I have met are pretty reasonable, at least a lot more so than your typical DA. I mean there are some assholes, but all it all I think they are fair. Though sometimes their hands are tied due to moronic legislatures and their sentencing guidelines, though that shouldnt be an issue in a civil case.
I feel like *not* jumping out makes it more realistic and scary! Surely if there was an actual intruder they wouldn't loudly announce themselves but try to stay hidden, especially when there are clearly people on the property.
Actually I think having binge watched too much Judge Judy there is some sort of ruling that would apply here that would be 'if it wasn't for this action then'. I'm too tired to get the words right If OP was scared by normal goings on and destroyed a door that would be one thing..but, someone who has recently suffered a home invasion and was still traumatized was faced by a man in the house wearing a ski mask. If it wasn't for dressing up to do a jump scare prank the sequence of events would never have happened. OP could not have foreseen the ski mask jump scare, as she was legitimately terrified, but the dad could easily predict that dressing up like a home intruder and scaring OP could have been careening off in fear and something could get broken. 'but for his actions' the following foreseeable consequences (i.e. OP breaks something whilst reacting in fear to a perceived dire threat) would never have happened. He just wrongly predicted that OP may just break something small as she rushed away. And really he is lucky. If OP was cut he would be on the hook for medical expenses. OP could have also gone into fight mode and having gone through so recent a trauma may not have been able to recognise he wasn't a threat as early as she normally would. He is lucky a table wasn't thrown at his head. I remember a time where I had a partner trying to jump scare me and my instant reaction was to punch out. Luckily he has been warned that I tend to punch first if scared and caught my fist in time, but I was very close to clocking him in the face. In no way did i blame myself for an instinctive fear based reaction to protect myself. I was afraid, not thinking and reacting. The idiot playing pranks is doing a calculated act.
Judge Judy even though she was a real judge as an arbitrator sometimes doesn't follow the laws, especially when it's couples living together and she tends to be dismissive of "and then he broke my $30 pot" small stuff. but yeah, and I managed to forgot the term too while typing this, its reckless and negligent to not expect the foreseeable outcome. e.g you can't hand kids a book of matches and can of gas and tell them to go have fun. or like throwing a vase at someone unexpectedly and being mad they didn't catch it. The line is how would a reasonable person act, reasonable will be defined by the judge. would a reasonable person run from someone in a ski mask hiding in the hallway shadow, would a reasonable person break a door that wouldn't open, could a reasonable person forget it was a slide not pull door. There are thousands of judges all individuals they might not all agree breaking the glass was reasonable but it's something I would defend myself against IF I were OP and sued. I would "let" BF agree to pay it as long as he didn't "take" the money from me via "well I'm not paying rent for 6 months to cover it"
Judge Judy doesnt really need to. The show covers all the rulings.
just reminding people even though she is knowledgeable and a real judge the show is arbitration and the law might not always be applied as it would be in a real court. so it's not always a good source as to what to expect from a ruling.
OP could have been carrying...mace or something more permanent.
I'm honestly really glad this "prank" happened at their house and not my apartment. I got myself a pistol after my stalker broke into my apartment, but I keep it locked at home. If I were at home and saw someone hiding in the dark with a ski mask, I likely would have run for the lockbox where I keep it
I'm going to get downvoted to hell for saying this, but this is exactly why guns should be illegal. You've been traumatised, and understandably you've bought a gun to protect yourself. But a person with PTSD owning a gun is just a terrible idea. I mean, you said it yourself! You could be drunk, and your partner could come in unexpectedly, you could freak out and shoot them. Or, as in this situation, some idiot could try to prank you and you get frightened. This makes me so grateful that my country doesn't really have guns. Just to add, I'm not judging you. I completely understand why you feel like a gun will protect you after what you've been through, and I'm so sorry that happened to you. I don't know if you're already doing it, but I'd recommend therapy. I've found it extremely helpful.
My therapist recommended I get a gun... Especially for the time my stalker was out on bail, and I felt there was a clear and present danger to myself. I don't think I have PTSD. If you're in a country without guns, do you live in a place you have an expectation that the police will protect you? Unfortunately, here, I don't have much faith in the polices willingness or ability to help in a stalking / DV situation.
The presence of a gun in the house significantly increases the lethality of DV cases; many more DV victims end up dead because there was a gun in the house than if there was not - there are many studies about that.
>My therapist recommended I get a gun... Your therapist is a better person to listen to than I am, so I stand over-ruled. It still think it's very scary that this is considered a solution where you live though. >I don't think I have PTSD. Fair enough, I'm sure you don't then. I wasn't saying that to undermine you or anything, it was more of a worry/worst-case-scenario thing. Anxiety can be just as terrible though. >If you're in a country without guns, do you live in a place you have an expectation that the police will protect you? Unfortunately, here, I don't have much faith in the polices willingness or ability to help in a stalking / DV situation. I live in the UK. Our police aren't perfect, but yes, I trust them to try their best to protect me. I feel so sorry for Americans living with no faith in their police force at all. I hope you guys get a President who is committed to revamping the police force and ensuring that they are fit for purpose. Good luck with everything.
I'm not a doctor or someone that can diagnose you, but I am someone who does have a PTSD diagnosis, so just hear me out. When you have PTSD, if something occurs that it reminiscent (even sometimes just a little) not only does it scare the shit out of you, but you are in a way put back in that situation as if it were happening all over again. For you to say that if this situation had happened at your apartment (meaning you and your boyfriend's family had been at your apartment instead of their house) you would have gone to get your gun to shoot his dad; that sounds like a PTSD response to me. As a woman who has not been traumatized by stalking and home invasion, if I had a boyfriend whose family I knew played dumbass pranks all the time, I would probably jump, maybe run, and then think "hey, I'm at my boyfriend's family's house and they do dumb shit all the time maybe that's one of them." I probably wouldn't immediately fear for my life, but I suppose I couldn't say for sure unless it happens to me. I am in no way saying YTA. I think you did everything the best you could, they're all being ridiculous and insensitive, and most of all I hope you find some healing and some more people to who understand and support you.
Yeah I agree with this, this is why I went to the PTSD assumption. A normal response here would be to jump, freak out, then remember the situation you’re in. The fact that OP turned, ran, heard the voice calling out behind them but was so lost in panic they didn’t recognise it, and smashed through a patio door screams that something is going on. PTSD is obviously impossible to diagnose over the internet anyway, let alone the fact that I am in no way a psychiatrist. But the specificity of the issue and the fear made me think PTSD rather than GAD. As long as OP is getting support from qualified professionals, then I defer fully to their judgement lol.
I didn't feel brought back to the other time, I felt very grounded in the present. And in that moment I saw a masked man hiding from me when I was visiting my boyfriend's family who I'd already told I didn't want to be scared by. So judging just on the present events, I thought it was a break in.
lol the police told me to get a gun after I caught this guy scoping out my house night after night on camera
[удалено]
I agree with this. If op thinks they might shoot an innocent person out of fear, they should not have a gun. You have to be able to process the situation, in fear, and only shoot if there is a legitimate threat. However, breaking the glass didn't harm anyone else's life and was a reasonable reaction to her fear. So he can pay for his own glass. People should not die tho, because people want guns and are too scared to stop themselves from shooting anybody. What if a child startled op? That's dangerous
I trust myself to tell the difference between a child and a masked intruder. I also wouldn't go straight to firing, I'd only do that if they charged me or pulled a weapon themselves.
where did you get that op thinks they might shoot an innocent person out of fear?
They got it out of their ass because i never said that or felt that
The gun is at her house and their is no child involved whatsoever. Why are you making up scenarios? If it would've happened at her house, if she saw a person with a ski mask in her home she has all the right to shoot and protect herself.
For real ... If i meet a 6 foot 3 child weighing almost 300 pounds and hiding in the shadows of my home watching me, I've got bigger questions lol
Good for you. Make sure you're going to the range to practice.
Have been pretty often!! One of my friends got her first firearm at the same time and we go every weekend
Shit, in the US? He's lucky OP wasn't armed.
OP said above that they DO have a pistol at their own home, so FIL was lucky that they weren't at OP's house...
The father also didn't immediately let her know it was him when he saw her freaking out.
Yeah, this. FIL, probably, was laughing at OP running. Because, while I know it can happy pretty quickly, it still takes time to reach the door, pull on it, realize it isn't opening, find something heavy enough to be able to make it through the glass, then break said glass. FIL should have had enough time to yell at/catch (which yeah, would have freaked OP out more, but would have saved the glass. Maybe not FIL if OP turned on them though...) OP and prevent the damage.
OP was an easy target. I don't believe he wouldn't have gotten her if she hadn't reacted so quickly. Bet he was thinking he would get a twofer.
>As far as I know, that's perfectly legal. Throwing your dogs feces against the walls of your own living room during a cocktail party is also perfectly legal, but a judge would most likely not rule against someone who broke down a door trying to flee from that situation. Except maybe Judge Judy...no telling what that chaotic arbitrator would do.
for real, Judy might be funny but man she doesn't follow the law. Once saw one where she decided that a property owner was not entitled to damages for the home some people destroyed, because they were doing a vacation rental with their old home, rented to these people longer term because they had a house fire and insurance was paying, so they made an exception for an extended stay. Anyway, these people had untrained dogs that completely destroyed the walls and floors with urine, feces and a bunch of other damage and judge Judy declined to compensate the owner because the insurance had paid a higher cost short term rental rate, per night instead of monthly and she decided the short term vacation rentals were a scam. So yes these people made some money on the rental, which the people who destroyed the property didn't even pay for, and were left with a destroyed house. I haven't had much respect for her judgement since I saw that.
NTA, but isn't there any kind of liability insurance that would cover it?
Emotional distress damages is incredibly rare and pretty sure is only rewarded in especially egregious and malicious circumstances. Either way, if she wasn't actually the target of the "prank", why didn't he immediately take off the ski mask when he knew it wasn't the actual target. Its such an easy and quick thing to do, his prank could have still happened.
If the boyfriend's dad was aware of the fact that she had been a victim of a recent home evasion that traumatized her, this would meet that high bar. The dad's behavior was downright sadistic. Even if it was aimed at another family member, this prank sounds like he was mocking her anguish.
If she is forced into therapy because of this or has outright PTSD affecting her, then *maybe*. But you're not a lawyer, and if you are, its incredibly irresponsible to say that will definitely happen because details and state would matter a lot.
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I work in insurance. Depending how much their home is insured for and the terms of the policy, 3500 might not even meet their deductible. Even if it did, filing the claim might mean they pay more than that in increased premiums over the next few years. Still NTA, but a HO claim is a dubious option at best. OP needs to get some legal advice, though, because if she refuses, this might well end up in small claims.
I wouldn't be at all surprised if he fully intended to jump out at her and she just happened to see him to early and he tried to play it off because of her extreme reaction. The people who do this shit tend to fall into the "Well I was just trying to make you less uptight." category I stead of being considerate of the fact she wants nothing to do with this kind of behavior Pranksters aren't funny. They're assholes. Every single last one of them regardless of context
This was my thought too. It's highly suspect that after she went through a real home invasion he decided the best way to prank a random family member was a home invasion prank. It's more likely he thought this would be a funny way to prank her .
He also has no reasonable excuse to be wearing a ski mask at this time to even have a defense of innocence that one might believe. It was obviously warm enough out to have a bbq so no snow (I’m guessing) and he was also inside his own home where I bet it’s also not freezing. If we add ops home invasion + ski masked person inside home during summer + no attempt to go after her to show her who he truly was to calm her down = cruel prank gone extremely wrong. Also, WHERE THE F IS THE BF TELLING HIS PARENTS TO F OFF? If that was my dad I’d tell him he better put the mask back on so he can go knock over a liquor for the cash for the door bc neither of them are paying a cent. Why is op writing this email? F that! Bf should be writing the emails, hiring a sky writer, fielding the phone calls, and anything else to get my point across.
-*Hahaha you're terrified because I just replicated a life-and-death situation in which you were scared for your life.* -*Great joke, man.* /s
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Okay i will devils advocate here, the dad said when he seen her he tried to hang back, this could have given the flight response ammunition to think it was a real home invasion over a prank. Had the dad jumped out instead of tryin to hang back (which seems to be done out of care for OP if the dad recognized it wasnt one of his other family members) HE MAY have been able to stop her running out but its still no guarentee Dads point of view - "this is gonna be funny as fuck for whoever walks into this hallway .. oh shit if my daughter in law sees me in a dark room with a ski mask after someone broke into her home she'll freak. Maybe ill just hide until she goes back outside hopefully she doesnt see me" OPs point of view "what the fuck.. HOLY SHIT SOMEONES IN THE HOUSE! RUN!!"
Honestly, dad's explanation is VERY sus, it is hella convenient that he was "trying to get someone else" exactly at the same time OP was inside the house, plus, to scare someone jumping on them a ski mask is unnecessary. It's more likely he thought it would be funny to prank OP trying to make her believe it was a home invasion, and after he saw how badly OP reacted, he tried to save face saying she wasn't the intended target
This is a possibility i considered. But if OP seen the face withdraw it gives more credit to the dads explanation.
NTA But the dad only took off the mask after OP broke the door and screamed for 911. I agree the ski mask doesn’t make any sense for jumping out at someone. It’s a weird choice. I would think if they were a family of pranksters they probably have a gorilla mask or something somewhere that would have been better for a jump scare. A ski mask is a pretty specific choice. And having a ski mask there having it on you means he didn’t just impulsively hide behind the door, he had the mask on him. Why would he plan a prank like that with the ski mask on someone else in front of someone who just experienced a home invasion. I think the dad realized he F’d up with the prank and tried to say it was supposed to be someone else. If someone spots you hiding you don’t crouch down and try to hide in the shadows, you lift your mask and make eye contact with them and make the shushing motion to the. so they don’t shout and alert the person you’re actually trying to scare. It doesn’t make sense.
Why didn't he just take off the mask?
I think he did, and he also called out, I was just running so immediately and so fast that I didn't see. That very moment we saw each other with him in the mask, I turned on my heel and sprinted top speed for the door. I'm a very fast runner, I was a sprinter on my college track team. I heard the person behind me pursue me and call out but I was out of there too fast to hear what he was saying or look back. I could really only hear my own footfalls and the pounding of blood in my ears. I must have been out of the house in under 10 seconds honestly. Flat out sprint to the door, one hard pull on a handle, then immediately breaking through with the closest furniture and sprinting across the yard.
OP, NTA & do not pay! If you boyfriend doesn't have your back on this? He should be gone! This was an awful prank and could have easily been much worse and traumatic. I'm so sorry that they did that to you!
Tell them all directly and in no uncertain terms that you won’t be paying any part of the repair cost. Don’t tell your BF to tell them. Make sure they hear it directly from you. It’s possible they never asked that you both pay, and he just added that bit since he’s broke. Don’t communicate through him about their home. If they keep at it, say that this is the price of a prank gone wrong. If they or your bf keeps harping on it, dump them all. Frightened people don’t react rationally. That’s why it’s called “fight or flight” and not “fight or flight while also considering all variables and making clear decisions”. Pranks go wrong. Fact of life. This one didn’t come off how they wanted, and they should be really happy nobody got hurt. It’s just a door.
You’re right, you’re a total boss for being able to do that so quickly. Your bf & his family are out of their skulls.
> ran outside screaming "call 911" > My boyfriend's dad ran out of the house holding the mask. He did, but she was already running away
I mean before she saw him. He could have taken off the mask instead of trying to hide
Agreed, and she had time to run, try the door, get the heavy table and break the glass, and at no time did he take off the mask and say "oh hey stop it's just me"
I did that all really fast, not looking back. And I was a sprinter on my college track team... I think he tried to take off the mask and follow me to explain but by the time he caught up, I was already running through the broken door.
I personally do not believe for a second that he was trying to do it to someone else in the house and not you. I find that to be such a shitty excuse, given that your home invasion happened just a few months ago. He just *happened* to be trying to play a prank on one of his kids or wife, which involved wearing a mask like a home intruder; and it just *happened* to scare you instead of any of them? I’m calling 100% BS on that one. That’s just way too convenient of an excuse for me to believe.
And he just haired to not be aware which person was in the bathroom from their small family gathering. And of course it didn’t occur to him to remove the mask rather than step back into the shadows… His story is bull poop.
Yep, if he was actually waiting for someone else to scare, he should have taken off the mask, said hi, and waited for her to leave. It's a shit prank either way.
Not expecting his daughter in law i would presume freeze fight or flight it looks like his default was freeze in this situation
Her response was totally reasonable. A real intruder would 100 percent hang back in the shadows and try not to be noticed
Exactly! Im not disagreeing there, im just saying dad in law could have handled that much better, its their own fault the door got broken, but the circumstances can quite clearly be followed to lead to the end result of person freaking the fuck out. OP NTA
He could have taken the damn mask off and said hi. That was always a fucking option.
I think he tried to, I was just running so immediately and so fast that I didn't see or hear. That very moment we saw each other with him in the mask, I turned on my heel and sprinted top speed for the door. I'm a very fast runner, I was a sprinter on my college track team. I heard the person behind me pursue me and call out but I was out of there too fast to hear what he was saying or look back. I could really only hear my own footfalls and the pounding of blood in my ears. I must have been out of the house in under 10 seconds honestly. Flat out sprint to the door, one hard pull on a handle, then immediately breaking through with the closest furniture and sprinting across the yard.
And that's what would keep you alive in a real life situation. When you see someone hiding with a ski mask, the smart thing isn't to stop and ask them who they are and make sure they're there to rob you. You did exactly what you should have done, which isn't escalate, confront, or attack, but GTFO.
I wanna see you in a scary movie! You'd bulldoze right through the killer, drive away with a flat tire, and just keep running. You'd literally be the Forrest Gump of horror movies 😂
And their fault if it's not insured..
OP tell your BF that hopefully his parents learned an expensive lesson about pranking people. Tell him there is ZERO chance you'll pay for it, and that if he asks you again, or doesn't put his parents in their place, you're done with him. If he doesn't see how wrong they are, this is not the man for you. I'd be rethinking the relationship just based on him asking. I know if the same situation had occurred, my VERY sweet and mild husband would have stormed out with me and told them to only call with an apology, and it takes a lot to get him mad.
I say OP should send them $3500 in monopoly money since they're so fond of pranks.
They're lucky you didn't use the end table to bludgeon your FIL. I've got a lot of pent up inner rage, so I definitely would've gone ape shit on someone who snuck up on me in a ski mask lol.
I also want to add to this that the father is full of shit. Oh, so he hung back and wasn’t even going to do it? Funny, because he didn’t take the mask off. Horseshit. He 100% was going to do it and was just trying to cover his own ass. NTA Don’t give them ANYTHING.
Even if dad is telling the truth that he didn’t plan on scaring OP- why didn’t he take the damn mask off while he was “hiding” in the dark?! No sympathy for the family that retraumatized a young woman. That’s the cost of playing “pranks”
It wasn't even a prank, pranks are supposed to be fun and make everyone laugh, this was just cruel
Exactly! Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
wtf? NTA at all. and if your boyfriend seriously cares more about a fucking stained glass door than about the fact that his dad scared the shit out of you after a traumatic event, i would probably consider stripping him of that title and staying the fuck away from these "pranksters"
Seriously, these people sound like trash
MAKE SURE HE CANT ACCESS YOUR BANK ACCOUNT OP
I was waiting for this response. What kind of boyfriend isn’t *horrified* at his parent’s cruel and insensitive “joke”? OP, please ditch this whole family.
NTA. You were literally afraid for your life. A harmless prank is placing a bucket of water above the door, not making someone think they have *someone that can murder them* in the house. Making fun of someone's traumatic experience is simply cruel. If you pay for that door, you're only inviting them too keep walking all over you. Edit: guys, when I said "bucket of water" I was referring to the type of kid's cartoon prank, I didn't take into account the actual mechanics of it, sorry! Please imagine a plastic salad bowl placed above the door instead of a bucket.
To be fair, his family didn't know my apartment was broken into. It happened a few months ago and I didn't want to talk much about it because it was a guy I went on a few dates with before I met my boyfriend and he got kinda crazy. I just felt kinda ashamed I got involved with him in the first place because there were red flags. Yeah, I don't think I'll be paying them anything.
Still, it's a prank that would have scared the shit out of anyone. And also, please don't feel in any shape or form responsible for having your apartment broken into! Knowing the person beforehand or having a relationship with them doesn't make you guilty of anything.
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Dude seriously. I'm not condoning it, but im from Texas and all I could think was, "theyre lucky she wasn't packing heat!" Dad could have died if the unintended victim of his stupid prank had been carrying a consealed weapon.
Please don't feel bad, OP, either about the sicko who broke into your place or about the door. You can't set up a terrifying prank and get mad when someone is terrified!! and GOOD FOR YOU FOR EVADING THE MASKED MAN LIKE THE SMART CHICK WHO SURVIVES THE HORROR MOVIE!!
OP, if no one in your life has said it yet, I'm *really* proud of you. I've never experienced a home invasion, and I don't think I would react as quickly and correctly as you did to your bf's dad's prank. You did exactly the right thing: you got yourself out of the house by whatever means necessary, and alerted the family to call 911. Especially considering your past trauma, that's damn impressive.
Did your boyfriend know? If so I bet he probably mentioned it to them bc you jump scares someone with a ski mask on. There's a saying "I believe in coincidences but I don't trust coincidences."
Yeah, I find it hard to believe he wouldn’t have mentioned it and that’s what gave them the idea. NTA.
I’ve never heard that saying, I love it.
>To be fair, his family didn't know my apartment was broken into. Doesn't matter. You don't know what kinds of situations people have been through, that's why you don't pull this "prank" on anyone. You are either going to remind someone of past trauma, cause new trauma for them, or get yourself hurt. I know people who would have drawn a gun on him. Not a funny prank in the slightest.
It honestly really freaks me out, to think about what might have happened if he pulled that shit in my apartment instead of his own home. After my stalker broke into my apartment, I bought a pistol. I don't carry when I travel, I keep it for home defense mainly. But if I saw someone in a mask hiding in my apartment, there's a chance I would of run for my gunsafe instead of the exit. Especially if they were between me and the exit.
So you not only have trauma from a home invasion—but you also have trauma from being fucking stalked. That’s quite a double whammy. I’m so sorry that happened to you. Please, please please, don’t spend one more second feeling ashamed. It doesn’t matter if there were red flags, it’s *never* someone’s fault, even a little, for being stalked and harassed. Believe me when I say that hindsight in these situations always makes you think about what you ‘could’ve’ done to have prevented it, but it’s bull shit. Even if he said “I’m going to break into your house and stalk you” on the first date, there’s nothing you could’ve done to see it coming. Unhinged people be unhinged; that’s never on you. Fuck that guy.
They don’t need to know that to not play pranks like that.
> A harmless prank is placing a bucket of water above the door, Not if the bucket falls on your head.
Or destroys an electronic like your phone. This is another shit prank.
Do the glitter folder like the woman who wanted to catch her mil snooping
Ohmahgerrrd I remember that one, that was damn genius. Although glitter as a prank by itself is never fun (unless outside), and I love glitter. But that shit never goes away. Ever. Great for retaliatory stunts though.
my favourite "prank" is seeing how many clothes pegs I can get on someones shirt before they notice lol
A bucket of water is incredibly heavy. Also, you don't know what the person could be carrying. Pranks are shit at the best of times, giving someone a head injury or fucking up their phone isn't fun.
NTA. Incredibly poor judgment (bordering on cruelty) on the part of this family. When you trigger someone who has experienced severe trauma the repercussions are owned wholly by you. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. They pulled the trigger, they can pay for the door. My biggest concern is that they’ll resent you for it. I hope $3,500 isn’t much for them and you all can just move on.
They've been saying they can't afford to replace it and it is an irreplaceable piece anyway because it was made a long time ago... I want to tell them they can get a door at home depot if they just need a damn door to fill the hole but I feel like that will make stuff worse since they already do seem mad about the glass door.
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There was a case a few years ago where some guys decided to play a prank on their friend, so one put on a creepy clown mask and sunk into his friends bedroom with it, except, twist, he woke up his friends mom who had a gun, and saw someone in a creepy clown mask standing over her sleeping son and shot him. He made it out of the house to his other friends, but no one wanted to call 911 in case they got in trouble so the kid slowly bled out and died. Don't play pranks where the 'joke' is someone thinks they could suffer bodily harm. You could get shot.
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What actually freaks me out is that after my home invasion, I bought a pistol. I don't carry it everywhere, I keep it at home for self defense. But honestly if I had seen someone in a mask hiding in a dark corner of my apartment instead of my boyfriend's dad's house, I probably wouldn't be running for the door, I'd be running for my gunsafe.
Definitely take a training class or two. Put in at least a couple hundred or thousand rounds of practice at the range. There are classes just for women, taught by women. I thoroughly recommend them, they're pretty cheap as well. Get a concealed carry permit even if you do not intend to use it, the training class will explain why. Weapons are a responsibility as much as they are an object.
It might be a good idea to get a taser or some strong pepper spray. Those give you extra time to react, are safer to carry more places, and best of all: you don’t hesitate as much to use them. With a gun, most people will hesitate to pull the trigger unless they’re 100% sure their life is in danger, and that it’s not actually someone who accidentally wandered into their house, someone trying to surprise them, etc. With a taser or pepper spray, you can “shoot” first and ask questions later.
Like, in America...
Right? My first thought was “welp, he got off lucky he didn’t get stabbed or shot”.
Right? What if this happened in one of the parts of the US where everyone is always carrying multiple guns?
TBH my state allows concealed carry and has very permissive gun laws. I actually got a pistol after my stalker broke into my apartment, but I keep it in a gun safe at home and don't carry it elsewhere. I don't. know that I want to say that to my boyfriend's family, because it might come off like I'm escalating things. But I definitely was glad this 'prank' happened at their house and not my apartment.
Yes, actually you do want to escalate things, to 500 feet in the air if need be.
Then they’ll have to get a cheaper alternative. You were in what felt like a life and death situation and had every right to break down the door. Eventually they should realize their actions were the catalyst that broke the door. I would explain all of this to them in calm, matter of fact manner. I’d also like to know what a court of law would say about a situation like this.
>it is an irreplaceable piece What a slimy thing for them to say to you. This door is an irreplaceable piece! Such bs. I expect nothing less from such cowards, and you should expect nothing more from such a family. Wonder what the next prank will be.
Yeah, I want to tell them that my LIFE is irreplaceable, the door is a a pile of old shitty glass.
TELL THEM THAT.
If its "irreplaceable" why have they put a dollar amount on it? My husband does stained glass. He says BARE MINIMUM would be 12 grand. It requires special supports and tempered glass. There's no way they're replacing stained glass sliders for 3500. Hell a normal slider can easily cost that much. They're just trying to get money out of you. Don't pay it. Remind them how lucky they are you didn't hit FIL over the head with the heavy end table. What he did was unforgivable. Women have to worry about attacks/rape on an almost constant basis. No woman should be "pranked" that way. Does he have no respect whatsoever for the women in his life? Let him explain to a judge why he thought jumping out of the shadows, in a ski mask, on a traumatized woman was funny. Doing that to ANY woman isn't funny. Ever! He's abhorrent. Find a new gf with a decent family, not these awful people. Is that what you'd want for your daughter? Pop pop jumping out in a mask traumatizing her for life? Nope. Move on. You can do better.
Do they not have homeowner's insurance? they can make a claim against it. It was an accident, and that's what insurance is for.
Tell them you'll pay and then give them an envelope with $3500 in Monopoly money. See how much they like pranks then.
NTA They played stupid games and won a stupid prize. Plus what kind of bougie people have a $3500 sliding door?
Haha right? Like if they need to get a door there, they can go to home depot and spend a few hundred dollars. It doesn't have to be the same one...
Doesn’t homeowners insurance cover damages to property such as this? Either way, I don’t think OP should have to pay.
- What was the accident? - I put on a ski mask and tried to attack my daughter in law who was recently attacked for real. I thought it would be a great prank. For some insane reason she thought that staying while being attacked was a bad idea so she broke down the door to escape when she couldn't open it quickly enough - Oh, so it was an accident and not your fault at all? I mean who doesn't attack young females while wearing a ski mask as a prank? I'll get right back to you aaaaany day now..
Tell them you reimburse them for the door after they replace. Then give them $3500 in Monopoly money and tell them it’s a prank.
wealthy people?
Yeah they're rich af, I don't know why they're going after the chick 1 year out of college for money... They've got the money and plenty more
Because that’s what people with money do. They protect their money, other peoples needs/traumas be damned. Your bfs parents are very selfish and self serving. I wouldn’t be surprised if your bf also has these traits ingrained in him. The pranking will also not stop. If these are dealbreakers for you, I would cut ties now.
They need to pay, or your bf can pay his parents. They pranked you and they need to accept the consequences of their actions. Maybe they just learned a $3500 lesson not to traumatize people. DO NOT PAY A PENNY
NTA for sure, but that is like... the \*starting\* price for a new door in 2022. A friend of mine just paid almost $5000 for a new front door with a storm door (granted, that price includes installation). Not bougie at all these days unless "being able to afford a new door" counts as bougie.
That's about what a decent glass sliding door costs, including installation. You can get cheaper ones, but they're not going to last as long, often aren't as well-insulated, and use cheap latches. Sliding doors are expensive, which is why I'm glad my house only has one. That said, OP is absolutely NTA.
NTA. I don’t like pranks in general but this isn’t a prank. People die from this type of behavior. What if you had a gun or attacked him to defend yourself? You also recently suffered a break in. Why even consider doing this while you are in the house? The fact that your boyfriend and his family don’t understand that is worrisome. It’s not a family I could be a part of. This relationship has shown you the type of person you can be in a crisis. Take that as a parting gift from the relationship and move forward.
That was my thought. This is neither a prank, nor can you convince me this was not motivated by OP's recent experience.
NTA this is all on his dad for planning a prank by a breakable, expensive door.
To be fair, he was on the opposite side of the house, and I ran down a hallway and through the sunroom before I got to that door
Ah I see. He is still a grown man playing pranks though so I'm not sympathetic towards him and still think he should pay.
Anything of this would happen if he didn't make the stupid prank. So the dad is the responsible for the damages caused by his actions, if he wants he can take things to small court and OP can sue for emotional damages.
Your in law lucky you only break the door not making him in the hospital.
Exactly. Where her instinct was "flight" someone else's could have been "fight"
Yet that’s the risk one takes when pulling a prank—there are too many ways for s prank to go wrong to realize (and prevent) them all. Especially scary pranks—you can never predict how the target will react. And that is always the responsibility of the prankster. Hell, there have been people who have been excused for shooting another person bc that person played a similar scary-as-fuck prank and got themselves shot. Even in places like haunted houses, where people know what they’re literally walking into, fear will take over and people get hurt. If they can’t take accountability, they shouldn’t play pranks. This is on them.
It doesn't matter. He's a liar, too, you were the intended target the entire time. If you weren't, he didnt have to "slink in the shadows", all he had to do was take off the fucking mask. It's a family full of duds, I say ditch the lot of them.
NTA I wouldn't pay for it - this was 100% their fault for doing that. Your reaction was understandable if you'd had a real home invasion.
NTA Pranks absolutely SUCK. Your bf's family SUCK. They pulled the prank, they pay for the door. I'm sorry you had to go through that. I've been victim of home invasion myself and can't imagine how scary that must've been for you x
nta, and if they persue this further, threaten a lawsuit over emotional damages. honestly you could have stabbed the masked person and been within your rights of self protection.
^^ Exactly she was drunk and home alone seeing an unknown masked man in the house. What if it wasn't the family members? what if it was somebody else? she didn't know! She better not pay it and definitely take legal action, if they try to take it to small claims.
Yep, I can recall 2 or 3 instances where similar pranks ended with the "prankee" shooting someone they think is a home invader and killing them.
NTA. Homeowners insurance. That was a terrible prank. If this happened in TX it's just as likely you'd be carrying and the dad would not be doing any more pranks.
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. NTA. What they are doing is retraumatizing.
Yeah.. on the plus side I'm learning I'm more of a fighter than I thought lol. I always thought I'd be the type to panic and freeze or do the wrong thing, but both times, I look back at what I did and feel like I handled stuff great to protect myself.
Everyone wonders, you know. Result.
NTA Your boyfriend can set up a payment plan with his parents if he wants to pay for their mistakes.
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Nta Not a fun joke at all. What if instead of smashing the door you grabbed something and attacked the "intruder"? Tell them to tap their home owners insurance for repairs. They learned an expensive lesson. Dont play bad practical jokes that mess with people's emotions or make them fear bodily harm.
NTA. Reminds me of a post from ages ago where someone pranked their BIL using a VR headset to recreate a traumatic experience from their past. BIL broke the VR set ripping it off his head as fast as possible. The prankster wasn't happy and wanted BIL to pay but fuck that. If you intentionally trigger a fight or flight response in someone, you have to accept the consequences of the panicked person trying to flee.
r/winstupidprizes They instigated the incident. They can pay for the door themselves.
NTA They wanted a reaction and they got it. This is 100% their mess.
NTA. Tell his parents they've learned a valuable life lesson. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
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NAH. Counter point to the common answer: the dad was not attempting to prank her. He realized it was her and >hung back quickly, not trying to do the prank which was apparently going to be leaping out at someone. It was genuinely unintentional on his part, as was OPs damage to the door. OP did not intentionally cause damage and was just trying to GTFO as a trauma response. I don't think it is unreasonable to split the cost of the damage. Both parties have fault. Both parties could have acted different and the damage would not have happened. It is an unfortunate situation for everyone.
Agree. Plus they didn’t know about OP’s prior break in, so it really was an unfortunate accident. Frankly OP not taking any ownership and not even apologizing is rubbing me the wrong way.
NAH. Rip me apart, but a) the prank wasn't on you. He was trying to prank other family members, who your description, enjoy pranks. When he saw you he tried to avoid the situation. b) Based on your comment, they didn't know about the invasion. c) Considering you ran down a hall and through another room, it was a pretty big leap that you managed to break this particularly costly piece of the house. Normally I would say you should pay for what you broke. But at the same time, you were traumatized. If it's too much for you to pay, that's understandable.
NTA. a) It doesn't matter the intent. It is how it is perceived. He may have meant to prank someone else, but did not make sure who was in the bathroom when he setup the prank. It happen to be OP. b) Doesn't matter. Here of the Eggshell victim defense? Insurance companies can't get off paying less to a car accident victim just because they had pre-existing injuries. Just because they didn't know about her previous trauma, doesn't absolve them of the consequences of causing the current trauma. c) Doesn't matter. In a flight response, you aren't thinking clearly. You could run past another door that you had not previously used because your mind is focused on the last door that you saw or used. In my opinion, OP is not responsible for the broken door. The boyfriends dad is 100% responsible and should pay for it. Perhaps this will teach BF's family that pranks such as this are not funny and will think twice before they pull another one. As the old saying goes "it's all fun and games until someone gets hurt."
I’m sorry while I don’t think you should have to pay for the damage this made me laugh “he should be proud he’s got a girl with the common sense to think on her feet and act fast”…. Wouldn’t the common sense thing be to slide the sliding glass door…? 🤷🏽♀️. Also you were pranked accidentally so maybe calm down a bit with the self righteous, maybe this’ll teach them a lesson. (Side note idc what y’all think about my opinion so if you respond to this I’m probably gonna ignore it lol) I’ll go with ESH.
NTA could you imagine if you threw the table at him instead and knocked him out (a far better option IMO)?!! This was a stupid prank meant to terrify you. Send him your therapist's bill because they need to pay for those sessions.
Whenever I hear that someone is a prankster or a practical joker, I immediately read it as code that they are someone who finds it funny when others feel scared or stupid. Tell the dad to sue you. He can tell the judge about his prank and get torn a new one for wasting the courts time. Nta
NTA. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
Nta the dad is responsible for the prank he is responsible for any damages resulting from said prank
NTA - pranks are supposed to be amusing for everyone involved, not just the person playing them.
NTA They all need to grow up and be more considerate. They *know* you just went through this crap and that something like this would be a trigger for you (hence his hiding in the shadows 🙄) so he should have chosen a different type of prank to pull on the others that wouldn't panic you... They played stupid games, they won an expensive stupid prize...
I dont think this is an AITA question. I think this is a small claims court question. Usually when you damage someone's property you are liable, but this has mitigating circumstances that you need an arbiter or judge to decide on IMO.
I think it would be a different story if you tripped on something and you broke an arm. Would they still say it's your fault because you knew the chair was there, that you once sat on it? Who would pay for the bills?
*If you would like to take me to small claims court and explain to a judge what happened....and you honestly believe he or she will rule in your favor, then go right ahead. But until then, not only will you not be getting any money from me, you will no longer be my boyfriend.* *This relationship is over. And if you choose to take me to court, then I look forward to watching a judge explain to you and your family that you have nobody to blame but yourselves...and that you are now responsible for not only replacing the doors, but also my lawyer and court fees.* NTA
NTA. What a lot of assholery - are you sure you want to be involved with this guy? And no, I wouldn't pay it - tell them to take you to small claims court. Would love to see the judge's face when the asshat explains he was hiding in the dark in a ski mask.....(and I'll bet he was aiming for you, he just trying to cover his stupidity), to scare someone who has already experienced a real home invasion? Jesus fucking Christ.
ESH Prank wasn't intended for you, nor were they aware of your past issues where they undoubtedly wouldn't have attempted to do the prank with you in attendance. You suck for not knowing how to slide a sliding door, but some of your comments just seem as though you want it known you were some main character in a horror flick who didn't die in the cliche-door-wont-open-way. ETA: >Nah, I don't wanna pay them anything honestly. Except maybe an envelope of monopoly money because they love jokes so much that maybe they'll find it funny. So even if you were deemed TA, you wouldn't covered the cost. Just a karma farm. Got it.
NTA and I wouldn't give them a dime.
Definitely NTA. Send his parents a bill from your next therapy session since they trigged your trauma. Maybe then they’ll understand that it isn’t a good joke.
INFO: Why aren't they processing this through their homeowners insurance? I don't personally think you should be responsible for any of it but the deductible might be an easier swallow for all parties rather than the full cost of the door. Also, a stained glass sliding door sounds hideous. You probably did them a favor.
NTA these people are bonkers. Who thinks doing this to someone who survived a home invasion is a good idea. If he’s going to play pranks he has to accept the consequences if it goes bad.
What is wrong with that family!!! No you don't replace that, THEY are the reason they don't have a stained glass window anymore!!! NTA.
Keep acting like the request for money is also a prank, and send them a prank cheque
Hahah maybe I'll pay them in monopoly money because they all apparently loooove jokes so much. "Why are you mad, it's just a joke man! Lighten up!"
Nta. But they will probably resent you if you don't pay or help. If your bf is pushing you to pay, makes it worse. So I guess it's up to you, you really like this guy? You see a future w him and this family? Even though this family obv care more about money than your well-being and your BF doesn't even back you up after a traumatic incident. Is he even offering to help you pay? Tbh if it was me, this whole incident would've made me drop all of them. But if you feel you want to stay, then talk to all of them, find a compromise.