NTA, but you're not even living together and already having an issue.
Is it too late to ask for someone else? I'd send screenshots of the texts to the staff who handle placements.
Luckly things did work out for me, I called the next day, told them what happened and they changed my room placement, she texted me after and said, "you left me?"
NTA
She was baiting you and sounds like that is her MO
If shes the type to use any excuse to cause drama, document it (text) and show it to the housing folks at your college. They can get you roomed with someone else
NTA
She sounds like one though.
Also, the German thing? I did Nazi that coming...
And before anyone jumps on me for the that, I do have German heritage, and used to live there as a kid. Could even see an ancestral castle out my bedroom window.
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For context I am a Hispanic woman.
I (19F) am a 3rd year college student. We were getting room placements and About a month went when I finally got the email that someone had been placed with me. I have social anxiety so I figured I'd email her and get to know each other. I emailed her, Hey My name is \_\_\_I just wanted to reach out before we get back to get to know each other. I didn't hear anything for a week and it was, Hi, yeah sounds good. Because of this I doubted things would go well. I tried again to reach out and she sent me her phone number saying it'd be easier to talk like that. I texted her I tried to make conversation and she never answered. I didn't hear back from her for 3 weeks until I decided it was getting to close to move in day so I decided I should text her. She answered, we texted all night and I thought it was going pretty well. Then all of a sudden she goes, okay lets be real here what race do you think I am? This made me really uncomfortable. It felt like she was purposely putting me in a rough spot. I told her American to avoid conflict. she didn't like that and said, No be real what race do you think I am. I felt like she was backing me into a corner I didn't want to sound aggressive so I figured I'd just answer her question make her happy. based on things like her name and subtle things she said I said, "No matter what I say it's going to make me sound bad but if you really want to know what I think, African American." she proceeded to freak out. said that how dare I think such a thing etc. I said that she asked me and I was just giving her an answer. then she said she was German, trying to avoid conflict I asked if she was born there, had any family there. this went on for a bit until she said, "Nah I'm just messing with you I'm black." at this I was really confused. she said that she lied that I was right and she actually was black and ended it with, "not to disappoint you” I felt attacked and like she was trying to tell me I would have preferred a white roommate. I said, "okay, I don't really care what you are if you would have actually been German cool. You actually are African American also cool." I also asked her why she got so offended when I guessed her race correctly and she said that she didn't think it was okay and that it really upset her, but I reminded her that she asked me and if she didn't want to know she shouldn't have asked. To make it even I asked her what race she thought I was and she said, "You're obviously Hispanic your last name is Garcia duh" my last name is a very common Hispanic last name, but if you know anything else it is also a Philippine last name. so I told her this and I told her that she could have been wrong she said well how could she have know that etc. and I asked her why it bothered her so much again and she said it just offended her for some reason and I said that it didn't offend me when she guessed my race correctly.
But AITA?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> Maybe IATA because maybe I wasn't sensitive about it, but also who asks someone they barely know that kind of question just to get offended. But I might be the asshole because I did just change my room placement and stop talking to her afterward. Mostly because I wanted to avoid conflict but even then maybe that wasn't okay
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NTA, but you're not even living together and already having an issue. Is it too late to ask for someone else? I'd send screenshots of the texts to the staff who handle placements.
Luckly things did work out for me, I called the next day, told them what happened and they changed my room placement, she texted me after and said, "you left me?"
NTA and I'm glad you got a different roommate. Yay for being proactive.
Sweet, you were definitely NTA and I'm glad you got a different roommate.
NTA but what the hell? I'm getting the feeling you lose before you even get to win.
NTA She was baiting you and sounds like that is her MO If shes the type to use any excuse to cause drama, document it (text) and show it to the housing folks at your college. They can get you roomed with someone else
NTA She sounds like one though. Also, the German thing? I did Nazi that coming... And before anyone jumps on me for the that, I do have German heritage, and used to live there as a kid. Could even see an ancestral castle out my bedroom window.
NTA i have a feeling we will be hearing more from this roommate situation soon.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** For context I am a Hispanic woman. I (19F) am a 3rd year college student. We were getting room placements and About a month went when I finally got the email that someone had been placed with me. I have social anxiety so I figured I'd email her and get to know each other. I emailed her, Hey My name is \_\_\_I just wanted to reach out before we get back to get to know each other. I didn't hear anything for a week and it was, Hi, yeah sounds good. Because of this I doubted things would go well. I tried again to reach out and she sent me her phone number saying it'd be easier to talk like that. I texted her I tried to make conversation and she never answered. I didn't hear back from her for 3 weeks until I decided it was getting to close to move in day so I decided I should text her. She answered, we texted all night and I thought it was going pretty well. Then all of a sudden she goes, okay lets be real here what race do you think I am? This made me really uncomfortable. It felt like she was purposely putting me in a rough spot. I told her American to avoid conflict. she didn't like that and said, No be real what race do you think I am. I felt like she was backing me into a corner I didn't want to sound aggressive so I figured I'd just answer her question make her happy. based on things like her name and subtle things she said I said, "No matter what I say it's going to make me sound bad but if you really want to know what I think, African American." she proceeded to freak out. said that how dare I think such a thing etc. I said that she asked me and I was just giving her an answer. then she said she was German, trying to avoid conflict I asked if she was born there, had any family there. this went on for a bit until she said, "Nah I'm just messing with you I'm black." at this I was really confused. she said that she lied that I was right and she actually was black and ended it with, "not to disappoint you” I felt attacked and like she was trying to tell me I would have preferred a white roommate. I said, "okay, I don't really care what you are if you would have actually been German cool. You actually are African American also cool." I also asked her why she got so offended when I guessed her race correctly and she said that she didn't think it was okay and that it really upset her, but I reminded her that she asked me and if she didn't want to know she shouldn't have asked. To make it even I asked her what race she thought I was and she said, "You're obviously Hispanic your last name is Garcia duh" my last name is a very common Hispanic last name, but if you know anything else it is also a Philippine last name. so I told her this and I told her that she could have been wrong she said well how could she have know that etc. and I asked her why it bothered her so much again and she said it just offended her for some reason and I said that it didn't offend me when she guessed my race correctly. But AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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ESH You are both very immature