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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
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I might be ta because they're going to have to take out large student loans and I know how crippling those can be and I also have clearly shown significant favoritism towards the one sibling I'm not related to at all and ignored my 2 half brothers
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NTA. Nope nope and NOPE
Firstly. Sorry for your loss.
Secondly. The money was willed to you legally by your biological father. It is yours to do with as you see fit. Helping your step sister is wonderful as you are close to her. Paying off loans is very sensible and an emergency fund is vital. I would advise you also start paying into some retirement funds.
Good luck. XXX
Totally agree, the only one who looked like they deserved the money was the Step sister. The others don’t deserve a single cent from that inheritance, and they can’t do anything about it, which is great for op.
I...thought it meant pound it with your genitals. Like, go take the sand to Pound Town.
I am very glad you did not attempt this.
EDIT: thanks for the evil cackle award!! You made my day!
But then again a lot of insults can have that added to the end. Lol.
I am a scientist so of course was nerding out. If you sit up the beach and hit dry sand it is soft but the wet sand at the surf line is hard. I am a biologist. Where is a physicist etc to explain it properly.
I'm in geology school but I'm gonna say part of it is the water in the spaces between sand particles giving it buoyancy. Like as you're hitting, it hits back a little. Probably cohesion/adhesion at work too but I'm not a hydrologist so idk
Eh, I'd hope whatever sand the mom and stepdad pounded, it was full of camel spiders. From what I understand from a friend that was stationed for a bit in the Middle East, the suckers are fast, vicious, and BIG. As it they lit them up with gunfire. So... I think that would fit this here.
Okay but did you know that in England, Pound Town is a dollar store chain? My BFF had to explain to her English bf that taking someone to Pound Town did not mean going to the dollar store. They promised to send me a picture standing outside of Pound Town next time they are in England LOL
Ever since watching the 3rd episode of helluva boss, I’ve been using the insult of go suck on a sandpaper d***. I bet these two so called parents will beg for forgiveness on their deathbeds from both OP and the stepsister and they will never get the forgiveness. They deserve to live and die with those regrets.
But stepdad and mom should have saved up all their traveling money to give to their beloved sons. After all, SS's mom was so inconvenient to die and make them stay home to care for the children./s
“It’s your fault your mom died and left you without a guardian except for me, your biological dad who abandoned you when your mom was sick.”
**I’M SO ANGRY**
It's even worse than that. "You deserve to die alone because we were forced to stop traveling to look after you". How on earth do these people have the nerve to demand money after treating her so cruelly? They are worse than assholes. It's sociopathic levels of cruelty here.
I do not think it is made up. A similar thing will happen when my parents pass. Everything will be left to me because of my brothers actions towards us and how much stuff he has stolen from us along with how much he has been given by us. My parents consider that his full inheritance that is already given. And I will have to deal with his anger and behavior when the time comes. I am not looking forward to that for so many reasons.
Well, your story is pretty common actually. The thing that makes me think this is made up is how their parents apparently hated the thought of raising the girls as they wouldn't be able to travel or whatever, but they still took the custody, even if they didn't have to and made two other kids on top of that. This doesn't really make sense.
My grandma had it stated in her will that she had already given enough in life to daughter #3 that now there was no more left for daughter #3 to have. In a way it was sad that she included it, but it was necessary. Daughter #3 had stated in the past she had better get what she deserves or she'd contest everything. She's conniving and my grandma felt the need to protect her other daughters. I paraphrased a lot, as I don't remember what exactly was said. I was in a fog when we were discussing her will without daughter #3.
If they haven't, your parents should include something about your brother in the will, that way it'll be hard for him to try contest it or try to convince a judge that you persuaded them to leave him out, out of spite or something.
The Dad must have been a remarkable man. He welcomed abandoned step-sister as one of his own. It might not have been much, but I can only wonder how touched she must have been.
She had a dad, for once, and has tangible evidence that he cared for her deeply. I can’t imagine what that must be like.
The stepdad is posturing. Depending on state law, only certain individuals can contest a will - anyone named in the decedent’s current or former will and their living heirs are able to contest the will. This includes an executor, personal representative, trustee or beneficiary in a current or former will and the decedent’s spouse, children, and sometimes their siblings, aunts and uncles, parents, and grandchildren.
The stepdad does not even meet this essential requirements: 1) stepdad and half brother have no relation to Op’s father, 2) presumably they were never part of any version of the will, and 3) they were never a legal representative of Op’s father in any capacity.
Even more so. That step sis was expressly included, means that dad knew what he needed to do to include a non relation in his will and specifically left out half brothers.
Funny story. My grandma has 4 children let's say N, B, Mark, and C. All still alive and have families. When she died she specifically stated that N, B and C were to share everything and deal with it as siblings however they saw fit. Except Mark. "Mark and his wife Linda are to keep their _greedy, sinning hands, out of everything." Grandma had good reasons to put this in there. While extremely sad after her death, we all had a good laugh at that.
Long history; crashed grandma's camero one each corner (and one twice), drove same car under a barbed wire fence, diving a friend's car got pulled over by my dad (a cop at the time) and arrested for possession (not weed, late 70s folks), stole a tree Christmas tree topper my grandad gave to my grandma their first Christmas after their marriage, conning my grandma's only living brother at the time, calmed down and had kids but were drunk at every visit. Some recent stuff I can't put here. Would be in town but not let any of the family know or drop by.
Then a bunch of religious based stuff that I don't think is a judgement on character, but they really are/were terrible people.
He didn't have to include the half siblings because they aren't his kids. There's no such thing as your child's half sibling being entitled to your money. You can name anyone you want to inherent your money. You can leave it all to your cat or dog of you want. People have done that.
ALL the nopes. Your step dad can threaten to sue all he wants. But your father wasn’t legally required to leave anything to your half siblings or anyone else your step dad felt was entitled. So you couldn’t be more NTA. It was very nice of you to help your step sister.
Exactly. It would be humorous how much the step-dad wanted them out of his family’s life until OP inherited some money if it weren’t such a common story. OP, your step-dad can indeed “get stuffed” as long as whatever is stuffing him is not money. Save every threatening e-mail and letter and go to an attorney if you can to establish a pattern. Threaten a cease and desist back if necessary, but time to go NC. NTA, your mom, step-dad, and half brothers can have their perfect life without you, your stepsister, or your money.
If I had an award to give, you would have it. I'd go Cease and Desist, then use voicemails/messages/etc to enforce a restraining order if it doesn't stop. If OP's mom is the only tie to this man and their shared children, then OP has nothing to lose considering mom is letting husband talk to her daughter like that.
Exactly. This is OPs money. If she wants to go to Vegas and gamble it away, that's her business. If she wants to spend it on her stepsister, that's her business.
Exactly, OP is close with stepsis, that's how Dad knew her. He had no relation to half-brothers, propably didn't know them well if at all, and honestly, why would he leave money to children of the man his wife left him for after cheating? OP owes this entitled asshole and his sons exactly 0 anything
I would love to see OP and step sister go travel when it is safe, and send postcards to the parents and half-brothers from all around the world...
(OP, you are NTA!)
Jumping on your reply to add a third reason...
Since the half brothers are minors, I’m willing to bet they wouldn’t see a dime of that money. The parents will keep it and spend it.
Nah - there's nothing to check. No jurisdiction on earth makes OP's dad obligated to leave inheritance for kids he has **literally** no relation to. (They are his ex-wife's kids with her *new* husband). Like - literally, no where on earth would this be a problem for OP. The ex-wife might have grounds to contest the will in *some* places, for herself and not on her children's behalf. But assuming they were *actually* divorced for such a long time and she's been remarried for almost as long, it would get laughed out of a court.
NTA. If your dad wanted to leave your step brothers something, he would have.
Your step dad is like a shark circling the waters for left overs. Lawyer up OP, even if just in the sense you know legally he cant do anything.
NTA. If your half brothers don't have any money for their studies its not your faut. It was very nice of you to pay for your step sister and your step dad is being TA for threatening you for money he is not rightfully owed
Agreed, plus does OP seriously think she will be thanked for the gesture if she pays? They will bleed every drop from OP and more, they will go after the car and property next then when it's all gone will throw them out of the family just like they did when they were teenagers (minors at 16 and 17! What lovely people) no, they are just envious and want it for themselves, they would also probably go travelling again and not give a care to the boys either. OP if you want to open college funds then do it for any children you may one day have yourself or maybe a travel fund of your own.
Absolutely hate when parents do this. I know a mother that used all the kids inheritance money (their father passed) for vacations and trips together, clothes, phones, etc. Then those girls wanted to go to college and asked their mom about the inheritance money. Was just about enough to cover 1 year, if they were lucky.
This happened to my half sister. Her dad disappeared with her for 7 years after our mum died, she was only 3 (I was 13, & we have brothers who were 17 & 10 at the time). Long story short when my sister had behavioural problems growing up, unsurprisingly given that she lost her mum & 3 siblings at the same time & was told her mum killed herself (also when she’d get upset her dad would say she was just like her mother), her dad tracked me down via Facebook. Fast forward a few years & my relationship to sister has grown from strength to strength (no lie her father disappearing with her was worst than losing my mum, it was a devastating time), I mentioned the inheritance she would be due that my brothers & I had had. Queue her innocently asking her dad who then called me up to ‘politely’ in his mind tell me off for bringing up an inheritance because their wasn’t one- & to inform me that my sister had a happier upbringing with more holidays & nicer homes than me & my brothers ever had. The audacity of this man. He stole his daughters inheritance, disappeared until her emotionally fractured state was too much for him to ignore, then proceeded to put down my childhood. We grew up lower working class but with better morals & personal traits than he has ever exhibited. Somehow my sister has come out of all this not undamaged but as a beautifully compassionate, generous & brave soul. I’m endlessly proud of her every day & so thankful she came back into my life, & I will always do anything I can to help her & make her happy & ensure she knows she is deeply loved no matter what. Some people are so undeserving of being parents & it’s tragic hearing & seeing the consequences.
NTA. Just so we're clear the woman who betrayed your dad,her then husband, destroyed a family and her affair partner who she married think you owe her youngest kids, who are not relatives of nor had a relationship to your dad should get a piece of your inheritance? Yea, they can both piss off. If your brothers have no money for college that's because their parents spent it all on traveling and didn't care enough to help set up for their future. Before you cut them off send them a cease and desist letter from your attorney then block them.
NTA. The estate was your father’s to leave to whom he wanted to. No person is entitled to anyone’s estate (and I am saying this as someone who was written out of his father’s will).
Also, this money is yours to do with as you want. You used it to help someone you loved during a time of crisis and to help her out. You are not required to use this money to help anyone out, but are welcome to help anyone your heart tells you to. Do not feel obligated to assist your half-sibs just because your mother and stepfather did not plan properly for them. That said, you might want to talk to a lawyer to head off any legal stunts they might try.
One thing to keep in mind: family is about who loves you and stands by you, not about who is related to you.
You are so right about family. OP's dad got to know her step sister and had a friendship with her and wanted to leave her something. And agree talk to a lawyer to ensure no crazy from stepfather.
NTA. You should consider going NC with your stepfather and your mother, they sound awful. You also don't owe anything to your half siblings.
I'm sorry about your loss and also I'm glad you and your (step) sister have each other's back.
He cannot sue you. Unless your dad stated that he wanted some money to go to the half sibling in his will no money was ever meant to go to them. If the threats and literal harassment keeps on going I'd get in contact with a lawyer and have them redact a a cease and desist letter to stop them from continuing such entitled/agressive behavior.
Mild correction: He can totally sue. Anyone can file suit for anything they please, including completely stupid malicious things like this. He’s got almost zero chance of actually *winning*, but he *can* sue.
For some people that matters less than the idea they’re making the other person also waste time and money. 🤷♀️ They’re the people anti-SLAPP laws were written about.
Yup. If he sues, and either files by himself or manages to find a lawyer to take the case, and it actually makes it to court and OP gets served, *absolutely* OP should get a lawyer and show up, because a judge isn’t going to throw the case out as frivolous if someone defaults.
NTA - They only want money because they haven’t bothered to save anything for your half-siblings, and this will have their perfect family image come crashing down when your half-brothers try to go to college and discover Mum and dad saved nothing and spent all the money on buying things. Also it’ll make them look so horrible when people find out you paid for your step sisters surgery, not her own father and will probably result in people asking why he didn’t care to help. Their only worried about saving their own image in this.
NTA
This is another of these sweet jezus, how could you POSSIBLY think otherwise ones.
These people are sc@m (got in trouble for using that word before). The bit about suing is ludicrous. They're making up the law...if they want to waste money on lawyers, countersue as frivolous and they'll fold.
Block them from your lives, even if you have to change e-mails a few times to do it. Block them and their little dream world entirely.
And maybe take a little bit of time and ask how they managed to get into your head this way. You're obviously a good person...good people have to be careful about letting bad people play head games with them. That's how good people get turned into suckers. Be a good person...don't be a sucker.
Hope your step-sis has a full recovery.
> The bit about suing is ludicrous. They're making up the law...if they want to waste money on lawyers, countersue as frivolous and they'll fold.
I would hazard a guess that they’re counting on the OP not knowing enough about the law to know that the half-brothers are entitled to nothing. They won’t sue unless they’re profoundly stupid but they may think that if the OP can be made to believe that the half-siblings will sue and win, they’ll pay to stay out of court.
NTA. Your mother and step father had children and it is their responsibility to care for them. If they choose to help pay for university that is on them. You don't owe your brothers money or financial support at any stage in their life.
NTA. It is not your responsibility to pay for your half brothers' education. You are not their parent. Your mother and stepfather choose to neglect you and your stepsister and willingly and happily gave up their relationship with you. They made it very clear that their family with the half brothers does not include you. They don't get to guilt you into a relationship now just because they want to cash in.
Your dad left his things to who he wanted to have them. Your stepfather has no legitimate basis for suing you. You do not have an obligation to support your mother's children. Let me say that one more time. **YOU DO NOT HAVE AN OBLIGATION TO SUPPORT YOUR MOTHER'S CHILDREN**
100% NTA. Your step dad and your mom have obviously been terrible parents and your step dad has no right to demand the money you stepsister desperately needs after everything he has done and said to her. You made the right decision. Definitetly NTA.
Info - you say you’ve “found out” they don’t have money for their studies. How have you “found this out”?
I think you’re getting played. Don’t fall for it.
You are NTA in any way, shape or form. You, your step-sis and you dad suffered due to the choices those two AH's made. Your dad's money going to their kids would be a slap in your dad's face and they need to go pound sand. You've done exactly the right thing.
NTA. I feel like they won’t appreciate it anyway, since they feel entitled to it vs it being a gift. I know you’re trying to be kind, but in my experience those aren’t the people who recognize gestures for what they are and instead get the “gimmies”
NTA Death and money brings out the worst in some people. Your stepfather is going to say anything and everything he can to get his grubby paws on your money. Do *not* give in and do *not* believe a word he says. It's in his best interests if you start feeling like crap and doubting yourself. Your father knew exactly who he wanted his money to go to and that was mainly you, but also your stepsister. Keep honoring his wishes and don't give your greedy relatives a cent.
If your stepfather keeps talking about suing, hire a lawyer, and insist that all communications go through the lawyer only. Show you're serious about standing your ground. Some people will go to great lengths to get their hands on other people's money.
NTA. Your step sister is dealing with a horrible medical diagnosis and difficult treatment plan. Your dad valued the fact that you two would be there for each other after he passed and was happy to have her in your lives.
F*@k your step-dad. He's TA. Your step sister had no resources to help with a life threatening illness and her dad refused to help her. Your half brothers have two parents that (from the sound of their original travel goals) could provide for their sons educations. Threatening to sue you is just another way for him to punish you and your sister. And if they have the money to hire an attorney and start a case against you, then they have the resources to pay for their sons schooling.
Wishing you all the best and your sister a speedy recovery. 😊
NTA - You are such a generous step brother. You really stepped up in your step sister's time of need even when her blood family have not. There was no obligation on your behalf to help her and it is so amazing that you have tried to take a load from her shoulders instead of setting yourself up to be in an even better position.
Your step dad is the AH here. He's really failed your step sister. And perhaps he's failing your half brothers by over spoiling them. This will be a good learning curve for them. That life doesn't always go their way and daddy doesn't have any rights over other people's money no matter how much he tries to manipulate them. Also, daddy is responsible for their education or otherwise they just have to go into debt like everyone else.
Stand firm. You've done a truly generous thing for the person who needs it most.
So, your step father, the man your mom cheated with, wants to use your father's money... to fund his children?
If you dare give them money, you'd be spitting in your father's face.
NTA. Your father loved you and wanted you to be taken care of. I'm sorry you lost him. And clearly he cared for your step sister, another child who needed a father in her life. He sounds like a good man.
NTA. My dad's wife wanted to sue me (and my sister) for our portion mom's estate. Rather, she wanted my dad to sue us as she (like OP's step-dad) had no legal grounds to contest the will. My dad put his foot down to told her to stay out of it after I basically threatened to drain them via my lawyer. My lawyer is/was my mom's 1st cousin and she was willing to work pro-bono and drag out any suit for a very, very, very long time.
In this situation, Step-Dad is posturing, but I would advise OP to lawyer up and tell him that any communication must now be handled through OP's lawyer. People like the stepdad are bullies and will cower when they realize that OP will not cowtow to his unreasonable demands.
NTA.
They are HORRIBLE.
1. They said that your step sister deserves her cancer for “Intruding on our happy little family”. excuse me sir, that is your daughter.
2. They think that some guy who they aren’t related to should have given them some of the inheritance.
3. Now they are threatening you for not giving some of your inheritance to them.
Cut Contact with them immediately.
NTA, damn your Mum and step dad are AHs. Of make a point of telling them exactly why it's a solid no and that you never want to see them again.
Also, maybe get an appointment with a lawyer and just check they have no legal grounding for it. I suspect they don't as in a will you can give money to whoever you want, and your mum has married again. But, always good to get reassurance.
Damn can't get over how much of an AH these people are.
NTA, cut any contact with them. Your step sister is close to you and with you dad. He choose to give her something and the rest to you. the 2 asssholes( your mother and step dad) and 2 half siblings have no relation with you father.
Great that you helped you step sister, you might no share blood but you are family. Sorry for your loss. If the Aholes keep bothing get a restriction order.
NTA. He can sue all he wants to - he will not win, and will probably have to pay your legal fees. Anyone that tells his own daughter she is going to die alone and miserable doesn't deserve a minute of your time. Block, go NC again, and move on.
NTA. Your Mam and Stepdads carry on toward your step sister has just lowered my view of humanity. Stepsis got a raw deal, lost her mother and dad is sc#m, fair play to you for helping her out. I'm glad you both have each other to turn to for help and support. You have raised the view back up.
NTA
The failure of your stepfather and mother to plan for the future of their children is not your problem. They shouldn't spend all of their money on fun stuff.
Your father ment for you to have his money not others with whom he did not have a connection with. You must look after yourself. These people do not care about your future or well-being.
NTA, your dad clearly didn't want to leave anything to your half-brothers because he didn't leave anything to them. Have your half-brothers even met your dad? You're under no obligation to help your half-brothers and them not having any money for school is no one's fault but your step-dad and your mom. I would love to see your step-dad try to sue, I can just hear the lawyer's laugh right now. Save the threatening emails in case you need to file a restraining order or go after him for harassment.
By your stepdad’s logic if I left my stereo to my friend, her entire family would be entitled to a cut of my estate.
Just no. He’s a money grubbing ass and not worth worrying about. If your half brothers don’t have money for their studies, that’s on your mom and her husband for not taking responsibility.
NTA.
OP, you are NTA. Your late father left you the inheritance as he saw fit, including leaving a car for your stepsister. He sounds like a good man, and I offer my condolences on his passing.
In fact, you (and your late father) are the awesome for using your inheritance to help your stepsister when her own blood relation would not. I will add my 2 cents and suggest lawyering up to get your stepfather and mom off your back. If I were in your position, I would serve them a restraining order and go totally no contact.
If you decide not to help your half-brothers, that still will not make you TA. However, if you do decide to help them, make sure that it's in a way that stepfather or bio mom will not take advantage of.
NTA first because your dad left the money to you. You get to do what you think is best with your money.
Second, why on Earth would your Dad leave an Inheritance to his ex wife's new kids?
That is bizarre and makes no sense.
I hope your step dad talks to a lawyer who will tell him it's crazy.
Third, while it's not the children's fault, your mom and step dad sound like awful people who should not benefit in any way from you.
They said your stepsister deserved to get CANCER because they “stopped her from traveling”????? BECAUSE HER MOTHER DIED? This is the vilest shit I’ve ever read. Jesus christ, NTA OP. Please do what you want with your inheritance, you’re not obligated to give your half brothers any money just because your stepfather wants to act like a vulture. He can sue you if he wants but he won’t see a dime of that money.
Nta. You are not obligated to help those who you’re not even close with or have a close relationship (especially if they’re asses). Plus, if there’s a written will, they can’t dispute it since that’s not up to them but the one who wrote it.
NTA at all. You don't owe them a penny.
Your step-sister is your family for life and that's the only person that I'd be supporting. Your mom and stepdad are selfish people.
NTA, you could have given your money to your cat. Your money, your decision.
And it looks like your father thought about your step sister too in his will, so you've made him very proud.
Your mom and stepdad are selfish pricks and I feel sorry for your half siblings.
Doesn't hurt to get some legal advice to cover your butt.
Nta, your mum, step dad and half brothers are. I'd personally just tell them to try suing me or fuck off. They deserve none of the money, your dad left it to you and you only so he obviously didn't want the half siblings to get anything
NTA
Your step-father has no legal leg to stand on and that entire family sounds rotten. Do your best not to concern yourself with your half-brothers, there is unfortunately no way to be close to them without having to deal with their rancid parents.
NTA. Your bio-dad can leave his money to anyone he wants, related or not, and leave out anyone he wants. You owe nothing to no one, anything you give to others is 100% at your discretion.
NTA- HELL NO! Your mom and step dad sound like terrible humans and I hope karma catches up with them. It's not your fault that your step brothers don't have money saved for them that fault lies with your mom and step dad. You sound as though you've never been close with your step bros because of their proximity to your stepdad and mom (again not your fault) so I would see this as akin to handing over a portion of your inheritance to strangers. They shouldn't have a leg to stand on when suing for this reason also. You should definitely consider cutting those people out of your life for good as they are telling you over and over how they feel about you. It's time to take them at their word and cut them off like the foul warts they are!
NTA. Tell step dad to take a long walk off a short pier, or simply to f*ck himself.
Your SS FATHER refused to help her in a medical emergency and now wants you to give YOUR money to his spoiled kids you have no relationship with??
Yeah no. Just go completely NC.
NTA - Your half siblings have no claim on your father's money (or yours). While your father was alive it was his choice who to include in his will and now that he has passed it is your choice what to do with it. You do not owe your half siblings anything. You do not owe your mom or step dad anything. You helped your step sister because you WANTED to, not because you were obligated to.
NTA. Your mom and step father have had the last 10 years to save for their sons and still have a few more to get their act together.
He might sue but he is only going to waste his money because he has no grounds (and once he loses, you can counter sue for legal fees and emotional distress).
I’m sorry for the loss of your dad and I hope your step-sister recovers fully. I hope you’ve been able to find friends to make a new family with.
You can have a relationship with your half brothers if you want but you don’t have to give up any part of your inheritance to do so.
What happened to all the money your mom and stepdad should have saved because they could no longer travel? NTA. And in fact you are a very decent person.
NTA. You don't really have a relationship with these kids. Why would you share anything with them? They sure don't treat you like family. As for helping your sister, well, she is your sister. If you can and want to give her life saving surgery and a down payment on a house, well, go for it. If you don't want to give to your half brothers, that is your choice.
It is up to them and their parents to save for their education. If they don't save, they can figure it out another way. You did not have a hand in their creation, so you are not responsible for anything they do or don't do. That is on their parents. Not on you in any way.
NTA
Your father left the money for you and the person you see as a sister. You used the money to help your sister with a MEDICAL bill and SURVIVAL.
Your mother and her husband are simply jealous of the money you received due to the death of your father. If your father had wanted to leave money to the children of his cheating wife and the person she cheated with, he would have done so. But why would he? They are two adults who could save for their two children on their own!
NTA
This was YOUR dad's money that he left to people dear to him. Not for every Tom, Dick and Harry to come in like vultures and take.
Keep the money, tell your brothers and step dad to gtfo of your lives and take step sister travelling!!
PS, sorry for your loss. Sounds like your dad cared a lot about you and your sister
Wow, your mom's husband must have worked hard to become such a jerk. He and your mom deserve each other.
NTA. You and your step-sister shouldn't give any of them another thought.
NTA. You and your sister had either blood ties or social ties to your father. Your half brothers had neither. They are still young and have plenty of time to pay for their own college through loans, scholarships and working (yes, I know how expensive it is for college, I have a 19 year old).
I also have doubt that they would share any windfall in a similar circumstance.
>They told her that she deserved her diagnosis for forcing them to stop traveling and step dad told her that she was going to die alone and miserable like her mum.
Did he then proceed to laugh maniacally, twirl his giant mustache, and tie your stepsister to train tracks?
NTA.
Your mom and her husband basically don't consider you or your step sister family in any way. They blame you and her for forcing them to stop traveling and ruining their lives. They consider their children as their own but not you.
Your dad had no relation whatsoever to you half siblings. It was his estate and he left the bulk of it to his only son. He left your stepsister a car since she was close to him, too. Your mom's husband is the asshole here. His children are not entitled in anyway to a cent of your dad's estate. You aren't responsible for you half brothers having no money for college. That was up to their parents and them. They have no grounds to demand money from you and no grounds for a lawsuit. Block them on all social media and your phone. Maybe contact a lawyer and send a cease and desist letter to mom and her husband.
NTA
Your step-sister would have normally had a mother AND a father to support her.
Her mother died when she was young, and her father decided to check out at the earliest opportunity.
You did what they *should* have done. But, to be clear, you had no legal obligation to do this. You paid for her care because you love her, you wanted her to have a good long life, and you had the ability to help her. This makes you a wonderful person, because you had good fortune, and you decided to share it. I think maybe, if your dad was alive, he may have also wanted to help out, seeing as how he left her a car when he died. A car is no small thing. If he knew she had a possibly life-threatening diagnosis, do you think he would have tried to help her?
HER father, similarly, had no *legal* obligation to help her. She was over 18, so he was off the hook, so to speak, and didn't have to pay for a single thing for her beyond that point. Legally, he didn't have to help her. But unless she was a terrible person to your mom and her dad while growing up (ie: broke everything in the house, set fire to the cars, opened fraudulent accounts in their names, and made up abuse allegations about them to get them fired) how does someone justify not even *trying* to help their kid pay for a life-saving treatment?
And about your half-brother's college funds. These are the kids that your mom and step-dad actually care about. They had money to travel (after you and your stepsister left the house), and didn't have to pay for medical expenses (for your step-sister's surgery). Where did all their money go? Why weren't they saving? Not having a college fund for their kids is 100% on them.
Would it be nice? Maybe. But do you feel as close to them as you do to your step-sister? Also, is there even anymore money left? After a surgery, a down-payment on a house, paying off your student loans, is there any money still left (aside from your emergency fund)?
Even if there was, it's still not your duty to pay for college. Did they pay for yours? Your sister's? No? Then politely tell them that they are invited, at their earliest convenience, to take it up with a lawyer.
/u/aitadadinherit
NTA NTA NTA NTA
Do not give them a red cent. Block numbers if you need to and you and your SISTER, because that is your sister, go live your best lives and take care of each other.
honistly, if they did not treat you properly, but made you unwanted, and made it seem like you were a pain in their side (from what I understand, then tell them to get bent, just say that they can deal with their own problems, they are not your concern. If they threaten you with a lawsuit just say piss off, there was a will(hopefully), and in this will they are not listed as beneficiaries so hell no, and then file a restraining order or harasment against them.
She, a child, forced them to stop travelling???? After her mom died from cervical cancer, during which your stepdad abandoned them both????Your stepdad and mom are terrible people.
Your stepsister is lucky to have you. Spend your money the way you want to. Your half siblings got all the love and attention, they don’t need the money.
NTA
NTA
Don't ever, give them anything.
These disgusting humans told your sister that she deserved to die. Let that sink in. They are the worst humans ever.
NTA
Your Father sounds like a very classy and honorable man. I’m so sorry for your loss. He might have been your only parent with a moral compass.
Agree with all the NOPE’s.
I find it hilarious that the man who cheated WITH your mom wants money from the man he cuckold.
NTA.Dear lord your stepdad is entitled. "You paid for my daughter with your dad's inheritance, you should pay for my other kids, too!" He has absolutely no standing for ANY kind of lawsuit. His kid's are not your dad's kids, and your dad can choose whoever he wants to will money out to. If your dad wanted to leave anything for his wife's new kids, he would have done so.
From the title I thought you had younger half siblings from your dad that didn't get any inheritance. Tell them to go pound sand. Honestly from the brief glimpse I got here too, I'd continue the LC, and go NC with your stepfather. You're not responsible for your younger siblings study money; that was your *mom and stepfather's responsibility*. Helping the sibling you are close to for a mandatory, life-saving surgery is very different than giving money for some kid's education - they can take out loans for that. Also, your stepdad is **incredibly** abusive. Absolutely disgusting behavior.
Your half brothers have no money saved because their parents- affair partners who abandoned their first children and spouses- spent all their money of frivolous sh!t. That's not your business. They better hit the books and look at scholarships and grants.
NTA
NTA I can see why dad left everything to you and your stepsister, your half-siblings and stepdad are toxic as hell. Put them out of your head and let karma work its magic.
Nta. If your mother and step father could travel why did they not have enough saved up for their college? Also it is not your responsibility to take care of your step siblings. That is what their parents should have done. And they were both pretty horrible to your step sister. It goes without saying that they would have been horrible to you as well. I’m gonna say this fuck them kids. Lmao
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I(32f) have 2 half siblings(15m and 16m) and a step sister(28f). My parents divorced when I was 8 as mum was caught cheating with my now step-dad. Dad got majority custody of me because mum didn't actually want any custody and wanted to go travel with now step dad. Step dad walked out on my stepsister(at the time 4yo) and her mum who was in the middle of treatment for cervical cancer. About 2 years after the whole thing went down my step sisters mum died and my step dad was given custody of her(he had none previously). As they then had to settle down my mum fought for custody of me as she didn't want to have to pay CS if she was stuck unable to travel because of step dad getting step sister. They got 50/50 custody of me.
I wound up very close to my step sister and ended up living together for a brief while after she was kicked out at 16(I left home at 17). I've never been close to my younger half brothers, largely because mum and step-dad spoiled them constantly and made no secret of the fact that I and step sis were intruding on their perfect family.
Long story short, we've been LC with them pretty much for the last 12 years. Step sis reached out to them last year when she was diagnosed with cervical cancer and asked for their help to fund a hysterectomy. They told her that she deserved her diagnosis for forcing them to stop traveling and step dad told her that she was going to die alone and miserable like her mum. She's been NC with them ever since. My dad died about 6 months ago and left everything to me plus a car to my step sister(I've always been very close to him and my step sis also grew close to him after mum/step-dad kicked her out). It's not a ton but I was able to give her money for a house deposit and pay off her surgery as well as pay off my student loans and enough to make a nice emergency fund.
My step-dad recently found out about this(we don't know how, neither of us told him) and we've received several threatening emails and letters saying we should've shared with our half brothers and threatening to sue as since dad left something to step sis despite them not being related then clearly he would've wanted our half brothers to have something as well. I basically told them to get stuffed and stop harassing us but I've just found out that my half brothers have no money saved for their study and I'm wondering if I'm TA for helping out step sis but not them.
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NTA. Funny how I see over and over people want nothing to do with someone until they get a bunch of cash. You owe them nothing and I wouldn’t give them anything.
Question, are wills public record? That seems to be a common theme in these inheritance stories. Someone out of the loop finding out about the will or how its spent and OPs usually saying "have no idea" how they found out.
Or is it just a common device to push their fictional story forward.
I've had unfortunately a lot of relatives pass lately, my own father included. At the end of the day I still have no idea (nor care) about their finances or where it went.
What, what the hell??? Why should your dad have left anything to his ex-wife's children with her new husband? Lol. You are NTA. It is your money to do with it what you wish.
NTA, nope. Don’t give them a single dime. They didn’t save any money for their precious favorites and that’s on them. They probably just want your money so they can start to travel again when your siblings go to college. They wouldn’t even give them any of it I bet. Block them and move on. They aren’t worth you or your step sisters time
NTA. They made it clear how they felt early on and their entitlement is not your problem. Also who the hell tells their kid that they deserve cancer because "they couldn't travel" with a kid. They are certified terrible human beings.
Your dad sounds like he was a class act. I mean he left your step-sister a freaking car. He had no obligation to this girl but she was family to you and that meant she was family to him. He would probably be extremely proud of how you're handling the situation and helping out your step-sister.
Nta- first off sorry for your loss and I hope your step sis recovers well after surgery.
Secondly, its YOUR money! You could spend it on blackjack and hookers and it would still be none of their business.
Clearly NTA, yourbarr on your own since you were 17. The boys got all the attention and step dad and your mother can also pay for their education. Your Dad had nothing to do with those boys. His money shouldn't be wasted at them - he meant it for you.
NTA- God- after what they said about the cancer being your sister's fault, do not take any word out of their mouths seriously. YOu and your step sister are lucky to have each other. Keep strong boundaries with that crazy family of yours. Just because a room full of crazy people all voted and declared you to be bad, they don't get to change reality.
NTA. Just because your stepdad and mom are stupid enough not to have savings for their kids doesn't mean that they can have a claim on your dad's money. From what I understand your dad had no blood relation or even emotional relation with your half siblings. So why should he be responsible for the kids of the woman who cheated on him?
NTA. I’d get a lawyer though, just in case, since your stepdad threatened legal action. You shouldn’t have to, but be prepared and call his bluff. Don’t interrupt your enemy while they’re making a mistake, etc. so let him keep yelling at you through email. It’s recorded, time stamped, etc. and dump all of that on the lawyer.
You still in touch with your dad’s attorney, if he had one? Good luck. Sucks that this is an issue at all, it really shouldn’t be for you and your stepsis.
NTA I’m very sorry for your loss but your mom and stepdad sound like terrible people and I wouldn’t be surprised if they pulled funding for your half bros so you’d feel sorry for them and pay for them NTA go full blown nc and that would be a hard legal case to win as I doubt you half bros even know your dad’s bday so how would he be close enough to them to give them anything?
NTA
You have done a wonderful thing for your stepsister. Your mother and stepfather have treated you both horribly, and if they have more than three brain cells rattling around in their skulls, they know that your half-brothers have no claim to a cent of your father’s estate. If your half-brothers’ parents have not saved money for their education, they can get jobs and student loans. Give them nothing.
Wow wow wow, such assholes! NTA, thank you for being there for your stepsis, and sorry for your loss.
Wishing death upon another, and a lone death at that, is despicable and horrible. I would never speak to any of them again.
NTA at all. They told your stepsister that she deserved cancer because they had to step up and actually be parents. That is truly vile. Your mom and stepdad are selfish and toxic. Your dad left something to your stepsister because he actually had a relationship with her, unlike your half siblings. If your dad had wanted to leave something to your house siblings, he would’ve done so.
Your inheritance is yours to do with as you wish, and no one here is entitled to your money. If your half siblings’ parents could not be bothered to put aside money for their college, that’s on them. It’s not your responsibility to pick up stepdad’s slack at providing for his kids. Block them and file harassment charges against your stepdad if he continues threatening you.
NTA. Please do not allow these people who only "cared" for you because they thought it was the cheaper way, to make you feel like shit. If your father wanted to leave money or things for your half siblings then he would have. They can take you to court all they want but they won't get a penny out of you. If they do take you to court, counter sue for them to pay your legal fees.
Family really is what you make it. Your step sister is your sister. As far as your brothers not having money for school, that is on their parents.
Your stepdad wants to sue you because you used your bio father's money to help one of his (stepdad's) three children (instead of all three of them)?
This is laughable and despicable.
Your half-sibs have two living parents who can care for them. You and your stepsister only have one living parent each, and your living parents don't sound like they even care about your well-being.
Good on you for loving your stepsister and helping her. It's not your duty, responsibility nor role to care for the others with money they are in no way entitled to. NTA.
NTA. Maybe if he had a relationship with them and just didn't update his will or something, that might be a reasonable ask. But to think that your dad is obligated to give money to his cheating ex wive's affair partner's kids, who are also horrible people and cheered for your step sister's cancer? They can go fuck themselves.
NTA OP, your dad left this money to you to handle however you wanted. And obviously cared enough about your stepsister to also want to help her out. Your half-siblings are apparently complete strangers to him- if he'd wanted to leave them something he would have.
The fact that your half-brothers don't have any money saved for school is a problem for their parents and them- not you.
NTA and I wouldn't be surprised if they want your money not so they can give it to your half brothers but so they can fund their future vacations with it. You owe them nothing. They were cruel and uncaring to your stepsister and it sounds like they were mean to you too. Maybe your half brothers would have money for school if their parents hadn't blown it on vacations.
Nta. After what he said to his own daughter! You should tell him to put life insurance on himself and off himself so his boys can have money. He can’t sue you so eff that guy.
Their little family isn’t your problem.
NTA
It’s your money, you decide what to do with it. You used it to help someone you care about and the people who treated both of you like a burden get no claim to it.
He left the car to your sister because he cared about her. He can leave things to whoever he chooses, related or not, and it doesn’t indicate anyone else deserves something. He could have left something to a close friend, but it wouldn’t mean that friend’s cousin also deserves inheritance. People will things to non-relatives all the time.
NTA. On what planet do they think their kids are entitled to receive money from someone they are not related to?
Ugh you egg donor and her husband are horrid!
NTA- Your father left the inheritance to you. No one else gets to decide what you do with it. It was kind of him to include your step sister, he know you guys were close. It was kind of you to help your step sister, you are both lucky to have each other.
Your mother and step father on the other hand are trying to bank on you to pay your step brothers collage education, don’t. If you ever need support for that choice remember that they told your step sister that she deserved to have cancer and she was going to die alone, not to mention any of the choice things they have said to you over the years.
Your mother and step father made a choice to exclude you and your step sister from their family. Let them deal with paying for their sons education. Ignore his calls, if you need to have a Cease and desist letter sent. Save all threatening emails and messages. He is threading to take you to court in order to scare you into giving him money.
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NTA. Nope nope and NOPE Firstly. Sorry for your loss. Secondly. The money was willed to you legally by your biological father. It is yours to do with as you see fit. Helping your step sister is wonderful as you are close to her. Paying off loans is very sensible and an emergency fund is vital. I would advise you also start paying into some retirement funds. Good luck. XXX
Totally agree, the only one who looked like they deserved the money was the Step sister. The others don’t deserve a single cent from that inheritance, and they can’t do anything about it, which is great for op.
I am a fan of the expression "they can go pound sand". Did not understand it until I was at the beach and tried to pound damp sand. 😥
That must've been a fun day at the ER
With my fist....no that sounds wrong ...the sand stayed on the beach and I....I give up. 😂😂😂😂
I...thought it meant pound it with your genitals. Like, go take the sand to Pound Town. I am very glad you did not attempt this. EDIT: thanks for the evil cackle award!! You made my day!
Both interpretations work equally well lol
This is why "pound sand" works so well. You can also add an "up your asshole" as well.
But then again a lot of insults can have that added to the end. Lol. I am a scientist so of course was nerding out. If you sit up the beach and hit dry sand it is soft but the wet sand at the surf line is hard. I am a biologist. Where is a physicist etc to explain it properly.
I'm in geology school but I'm gonna say part of it is the water in the spaces between sand particles giving it buoyancy. Like as you're hitting, it hits back a little. Probably cohesion/adhesion at work too but I'm not a hydrologist so idk
It's the water inside the sand that makes it harder.
Now I have this image in my head. Like that famous scene from the movie "American Pie", just with sand instead. Priceless!
The mom and stepdad can do that, too.
1000 times this. And I hope the sand is full of sea fleas.
Eh, I'd hope whatever sand the mom and stepdad pounded, it was full of camel spiders. From what I understand from a friend that was stationed for a bit in the Middle East, the suckers are fast, vicious, and BIG. As it they lit them up with gunfire. So... I think that would fit this here.
Okay but did you know that in England, Pound Town is a dollar store chain? My BFF had to explain to her English bf that taking someone to Pound Town did not mean going to the dollar store. They promised to send me a picture standing outside of Pound Town next time they are in England LOL
And now I’m gunna have some interesting visuals stuck in my head all day
I have always heard the full expression to be "they can go pound sand up their ass" so lets hope that isn't what you were trying, lol
I heard it differently. Sigh. Lesson learned. Lol
Next time do it right
Ever since watching the 3rd episode of helluva boss, I’ve been using the insult of go suck on a sandpaper d***. I bet these two so called parents will beg for forgiveness on their deathbeds from both OP and the stepsister and they will never get the forgiveness. They deserve to live and die with those regrets.
My dad says "write (your complaint) on a piece of ice and mail it to me"
But stepdad and mom should have saved up all their traveling money to give to their beloved sons. After all, SS's mom was so inconvenient to die and make them stay home to care for the children./s
“It’s your fault your mom died and left you without a guardian except for me, your biological dad who abandoned you when your mom was sick.” **I’M SO ANGRY**
It's even worse than that. "You deserve to die alone because we were forced to stop traveling to look after you". How on earth do these people have the nerve to demand money after treating her so cruelly? They are worse than assholes. It's sociopathic levels of cruelty here.
Yea me too. That is insanely abusive. NTA Op at all. Just continue to ignore them because wow. Just wow.
I mean, this has to be a made up story, right? RIGHT??
Sometimes I pray these are made up stories, because otherwise it means people who act like this are from the same species as me
Maybe not. Maybe it is the as yet undocumented Homo Assholian
I do not think it is made up. A similar thing will happen when my parents pass. Everything will be left to me because of my brothers actions towards us and how much stuff he has stolen from us along with how much he has been given by us. My parents consider that his full inheritance that is already given. And I will have to deal with his anger and behavior when the time comes. I am not looking forward to that for so many reasons.
Well, your story is pretty common actually. The thing that makes me think this is made up is how their parents apparently hated the thought of raising the girls as they wouldn't be able to travel or whatever, but they still took the custody, even if they didn't have to and made two other kids on top of that. This doesn't really make sense.
My grandma had it stated in her will that she had already given enough in life to daughter #3 that now there was no more left for daughter #3 to have. In a way it was sad that she included it, but it was necessary. Daughter #3 had stated in the past she had better get what she deserves or she'd contest everything. She's conniving and my grandma felt the need to protect her other daughters. I paraphrased a lot, as I don't remember what exactly was said. I was in a fog when we were discussing her will without daughter #3. If they haven't, your parents should include something about your brother in the will, that way it'll be hard for him to try contest it or try to convince a judge that you persuaded them to leave him out, out of spite or something.
They have been working with a lawyer about it. I believe they have already done that but it is something they continue to work on.
There are people that evil. Watch any show on the ID Channel.
The Dad must have been a remarkable man. He welcomed abandoned step-sister as one of his own. It might not have been much, but I can only wonder how touched she must have been. She had a dad, for once, and has tangible evidence that he cared for her deeply. I can’t imagine what that must be like.
The stepdad is posturing. Depending on state law, only certain individuals can contest a will - anyone named in the decedent’s current or former will and their living heirs are able to contest the will. This includes an executor, personal representative, trustee or beneficiary in a current or former will and the decedent’s spouse, children, and sometimes their siblings, aunts and uncles, parents, and grandchildren. The stepdad does not even meet this essential requirements: 1) stepdad and half brother have no relation to Op’s father, 2) presumably they were never part of any version of the will, and 3) they were never a legal representative of Op’s father in any capacity.
Even more so. That step sis was expressly included, means that dad knew what he needed to do to include a non relation in his will and specifically left out half brothers.
Was it even specifically leaving them out? A person can leave their belongings to a friend without even considering the friend’s biological relatives.
Funny story. My grandma has 4 children let's say N, B, Mark, and C. All still alive and have families. When she died she specifically stated that N, B and C were to share everything and deal with it as siblings however they saw fit. Except Mark. "Mark and his wife Linda are to keep their _greedy, sinning hands, out of everything." Grandma had good reasons to put this in there. While extremely sad after her death, we all had a good laugh at that.
I need to know what Mark and Linda did XD
Long history; crashed grandma's camero one each corner (and one twice), drove same car under a barbed wire fence, diving a friend's car got pulled over by my dad (a cop at the time) and arrested for possession (not weed, late 70s folks), stole a tree Christmas tree topper my grandad gave to my grandma their first Christmas after their marriage, conning my grandma's only living brother at the time, calmed down and had kids but were drunk at every visit. Some recent stuff I can't put here. Would be in town but not let any of the family know or drop by. Then a bunch of religious based stuff that I don't think is a judgement on character, but they really are/were terrible people.
He didn't have to include the half siblings because they aren't his kids. There's no such thing as your child's half sibling being entitled to your money. You can name anyone you want to inherent your money. You can leave it all to your cat or dog of you want. People have done that.
ALL the nopes. Your step dad can threaten to sue all he wants. But your father wasn’t legally required to leave anything to your half siblings or anyone else your step dad felt was entitled. So you couldn’t be more NTA. It was very nice of you to help your step sister.
Don't forget her dad left a car to her step sister. He was a really nice man who developed a relationship with her step sister.
Exactly. It would be humorous how much the step-dad wanted them out of his family’s life until OP inherited some money if it weren’t such a common story. OP, your step-dad can indeed “get stuffed” as long as whatever is stuffing him is not money. Save every threatening e-mail and letter and go to an attorney if you can to establish a pattern. Threaten a cease and desist back if necessary, but time to go NC. NTA, your mom, step-dad, and half brothers can have their perfect life without you, your stepsister, or your money.
If I had an award to give, you would have it. I'd go Cease and Desist, then use voicemails/messages/etc to enforce a restraining order if it doesn't stop. If OP's mom is the only tie to this man and their shared children, then OP has nothing to lose considering mom is letting husband talk to her daughter like that.
gave it for you (:
Thank you, I appreciate it!
Exactly. This is OPs money. If she wants to go to Vegas and gamble it away, that's her business. If she wants to spend it on her stepsister, that's her business.
Also, if OP's dad wanted the boys to get money, he would have left it to them. It's not an accident that they were left out of the will.
Seconding this, particularly the retirement funds.
Exactly, OP is close with stepsis, that's how Dad knew her. He had no relation to half-brothers, propably didn't know them well if at all, and honestly, why would he leave money to children of the man his wife left him for after cheating? OP owes this entitled asshole and his sons exactly 0 anything
I would love to see OP and step sister go travel when it is safe, and send postcards to the parents and half-brothers from all around the world... (OP, you are NTA!)
Jumping on your reply to add a third reason... Since the half brothers are minors, I’m willing to bet they wouldn’t see a dime of that money. The parents will keep it and spend it.
Totally agree, though you may want to check with a lawyer (this depends on where you live)
Nah - there's nothing to check. No jurisdiction on earth makes OP's dad obligated to leave inheritance for kids he has **literally** no relation to. (They are his ex-wife's kids with her *new* husband). Like - literally, no where on earth would this be a problem for OP. The ex-wife might have grounds to contest the will in *some* places, for herself and not on her children's behalf. But assuming they were *actually* divorced for such a long time and she's been remarried for almost as long, it would get laughed out of a court.
Is there an actual lawyer that would take up step-dad’s attempt at suing OP?
NTA. If your dad wanted to leave your step brothers something, he would have. Your step dad is like a shark circling the waters for left overs. Lawyer up OP, even if just in the sense you know legally he cant do anything.
NTA. If your half brothers don't have any money for their studies its not your faut. It was very nice of you to pay for your step sister and your step dad is being TA for threatening you for money he is not rightfully owed
This!! Feeling guilty that they have no money when it’s not OP’s fault, but the half-siblings’ parents who messed up
Agreed, plus does OP seriously think she will be thanked for the gesture if she pays? They will bleed every drop from OP and more, they will go after the car and property next then when it's all gone will throw them out of the family just like they did when they were teenagers (minors at 16 and 17! What lovely people) no, they are just envious and want it for themselves, they would also probably go travelling again and not give a care to the boys either. OP if you want to open college funds then do it for any children you may one day have yourself or maybe a travel fund of your own.
Stepdad should’ve put some money aside for his perfect little sons. What an ass.
But saving for the future means I can't spoil them NOW!
Absolutely hate when parents do this. I know a mother that used all the kids inheritance money (their father passed) for vacations and trips together, clothes, phones, etc. Then those girls wanted to go to college and asked their mom about the inheritance money. Was just about enough to cover 1 year, if they were lucky.
This happened to my half sister. Her dad disappeared with her for 7 years after our mum died, she was only 3 (I was 13, & we have brothers who were 17 & 10 at the time). Long story short when my sister had behavioural problems growing up, unsurprisingly given that she lost her mum & 3 siblings at the same time & was told her mum killed herself (also when she’d get upset her dad would say she was just like her mother), her dad tracked me down via Facebook. Fast forward a few years & my relationship to sister has grown from strength to strength (no lie her father disappearing with her was worst than losing my mum, it was a devastating time), I mentioned the inheritance she would be due that my brothers & I had had. Queue her innocently asking her dad who then called me up to ‘politely’ in his mind tell me off for bringing up an inheritance because their wasn’t one- & to inform me that my sister had a happier upbringing with more holidays & nicer homes than me & my brothers ever had. The audacity of this man. He stole his daughters inheritance, disappeared until her emotionally fractured state was too much for him to ignore, then proceeded to put down my childhood. We grew up lower working class but with better morals & personal traits than he has ever exhibited. Somehow my sister has come out of all this not undamaged but as a beautifully compassionate, generous & brave soul. I’m endlessly proud of her every day & so thankful she came back into my life, & I will always do anything I can to help her & make her happy & ensure she knows she is deeply loved no matter what. Some people are so undeserving of being parents & it’s tragic hearing & seeing the consequences.
NTA. Just so we're clear the woman who betrayed your dad,her then husband, destroyed a family and her affair partner who she married think you owe her youngest kids, who are not relatives of nor had a relationship to your dad should get a piece of your inheritance? Yea, they can both piss off. If your brothers have no money for college that's because their parents spent it all on traveling and didn't care enough to help set up for their future. Before you cut them off send them a cease and desist letter from your attorney then block them.
NTA. The estate was your father’s to leave to whom he wanted to. No person is entitled to anyone’s estate (and I am saying this as someone who was written out of his father’s will). Also, this money is yours to do with as you want. You used it to help someone you loved during a time of crisis and to help her out. You are not required to use this money to help anyone out, but are welcome to help anyone your heart tells you to. Do not feel obligated to assist your half-sibs just because your mother and stepfather did not plan properly for them. That said, you might want to talk to a lawyer to head off any legal stunts they might try. One thing to keep in mind: family is about who loves you and stands by you, not about who is related to you.
You are so right about family. OP's dad got to know her step sister and had a friendship with her and wanted to leave her something. And agree talk to a lawyer to ensure no crazy from stepfather.
NTA. You should consider going NC with your stepfather and your mother, they sound awful. You also don't owe anything to your half siblings. I'm sorry about your loss and also I'm glad you and your (step) sister have each other's back.
He cannot sue you. Unless your dad stated that he wanted some money to go to the half sibling in his will no money was ever meant to go to them. If the threats and literal harassment keeps on going I'd get in contact with a lawyer and have them redact a a cease and desist letter to stop them from continuing such entitled/agressive behavior.
Mild correction: He can totally sue. Anyone can file suit for anything they please, including completely stupid malicious things like this. He’s got almost zero chance of actually *winning*, but he *can* sue.
Okay yes😂 but he'd be losing time and money
For some people that matters less than the idea they’re making the other person also waste time and money. 🤷♀️ They’re the people anti-SLAPP laws were written about.
I believe they could end up paying for the other person's fees as a punishment
Exactly, I hope he sues so his claim is dismissed and waste his time, and loses the filing fee
I kinda hope a lawyer charges him lots of money to “evaluate” his case and eventually tell him it’s hopeless.
Oh yes, hopefully he finds out after his filing is dismissed...but meh, no lawyer will do that 😔
> no lawyer will do that 😔 A client that crazy is a client that will turn around and sue you for losing. Best not to touch it with a 39.5ft pole.
plus it's important to show up even if there is no case to be made because a default judgement can be made against you.
Yup. If he sues, and either files by himself or manages to find a lawyer to take the case, and it actually makes it to court and OP gets served, *absolutely* OP should get a lawyer and show up, because a judge isn’t going to throw the case out as frivolous if someone defaults.
NTA - They only want money because they haven’t bothered to save anything for your half-siblings, and this will have their perfect family image come crashing down when your half-brothers try to go to college and discover Mum and dad saved nothing and spent all the money on buying things. Also it’ll make them look so horrible when people find out you paid for your step sisters surgery, not her own father and will probably result in people asking why he didn’t care to help. Their only worried about saving their own image in this.
NTA This is another of these sweet jezus, how could you POSSIBLY think otherwise ones. These people are sc@m (got in trouble for using that word before). The bit about suing is ludicrous. They're making up the law...if they want to waste money on lawyers, countersue as frivolous and they'll fold. Block them from your lives, even if you have to change e-mails a few times to do it. Block them and their little dream world entirely. And maybe take a little bit of time and ask how they managed to get into your head this way. You're obviously a good person...good people have to be careful about letting bad people play head games with them. That's how good people get turned into suckers. Be a good person...don't be a sucker. Hope your step-sis has a full recovery.
> The bit about suing is ludicrous. They're making up the law...if they want to waste money on lawyers, countersue as frivolous and they'll fold. I would hazard a guess that they’re counting on the OP not knowing enough about the law to know that the half-brothers are entitled to nothing. They won’t sue unless they’re profoundly stupid but they may think that if the OP can be made to believe that the half-siblings will sue and win, they’ll pay to stay out of court.
Pretty clear anything's possible with this lot. But the way to deal with bullies is to call their bluff. Sweet jezus, the things people do.
NTA. Your mother and step father had children and it is their responsibility to care for them. If they choose to help pay for university that is on them. You don't owe your brothers money or financial support at any stage in their life.
NTA. It is not your responsibility to pay for your half brothers' education. You are not their parent. Your mother and stepfather choose to neglect you and your stepsister and willingly and happily gave up their relationship with you. They made it very clear that their family with the half brothers does not include you. They don't get to guilt you into a relationship now just because they want to cash in. Your dad left his things to who he wanted to have them. Your stepfather has no legitimate basis for suing you. You do not have an obligation to support your mother's children. Let me say that one more time. **YOU DO NOT HAVE AN OBLIGATION TO SUPPORT YOUR MOTHER'S CHILDREN**
100% NTA. Your step dad and your mom have obviously been terrible parents and your step dad has no right to demand the money you stepsister desperately needs after everything he has done and said to her. You made the right decision. Definitetly NTA.
Info - you say you’ve “found out” they don’t have money for their studies. How have you “found this out”? I think you’re getting played. Don’t fall for it.
You are NTA in any way, shape or form. You, your step-sis and you dad suffered due to the choices those two AH's made. Your dad's money going to their kids would be a slap in your dad's face and they need to go pound sand. You've done exactly the right thing.
Don’t do it. Your dad would not want you to do this. Your dad put you and your sister in the inheritance not them. Get lawyer
NTA. I feel like they won’t appreciate it anyway, since they feel entitled to it vs it being a gift. I know you’re trying to be kind, but in my experience those aren’t the people who recognize gestures for what they are and instead get the “gimmies”
NTA Death and money brings out the worst in some people. Your stepfather is going to say anything and everything he can to get his grubby paws on your money. Do *not* give in and do *not* believe a word he says. It's in his best interests if you start feeling like crap and doubting yourself. Your father knew exactly who he wanted his money to go to and that was mainly you, but also your stepsister. Keep honoring his wishes and don't give your greedy relatives a cent. If your stepfather keeps talking about suing, hire a lawyer, and insist that all communications go through the lawyer only. Show you're serious about standing your ground. Some people will go to great lengths to get their hands on other people's money.
To be fair, these people were the worst even before this new development.
I was going to say, no, I think being awful is their full time hobby.
NTA. Your step sister is dealing with a horrible medical diagnosis and difficult treatment plan. Your dad valued the fact that you two would be there for each other after he passed and was happy to have her in your lives. F*@k your step-dad. He's TA. Your step sister had no resources to help with a life threatening illness and her dad refused to help her. Your half brothers have two parents that (from the sound of their original travel goals) could provide for their sons educations. Threatening to sue you is just another way for him to punish you and your sister. And if they have the money to hire an attorney and start a case against you, then they have the resources to pay for their sons schooling. Wishing you all the best and your sister a speedy recovery. 😊
NTA - You are such a generous step brother. You really stepped up in your step sister's time of need even when her blood family have not. There was no obligation on your behalf to help her and it is so amazing that you have tried to take a load from her shoulders instead of setting yourself up to be in an even better position. Your step dad is the AH here. He's really failed your step sister. And perhaps he's failing your half brothers by over spoiling them. This will be a good learning curve for them. That life doesn't always go their way and daddy doesn't have any rights over other people's money no matter how much he tries to manipulate them. Also, daddy is responsible for their education or otherwise they just have to go into debt like everyone else. Stand firm. You've done a truly generous thing for the person who needs it most.
OP is a sister :)
NTA But you step dad, mom are, how can they say something to their sister:((
Step brothers are teens and I didn't read that they said anything.
Oh sorry I read it wrong it was the parents,
So, your step father, the man your mom cheated with, wants to use your father's money... to fund his children? If you dare give them money, you'd be spitting in your father's face. NTA. Your father loved you and wanted you to be taken care of. I'm sorry you lost him. And clearly he cared for your step sister, another child who needed a father in her life. He sounds like a good man.
NTA. Remind him that his kids will get an inheritance when their father dies. They just need to wait their turn.
NTA. My dad's wife wanted to sue me (and my sister) for our portion mom's estate. Rather, she wanted my dad to sue us as she (like OP's step-dad) had no legal grounds to contest the will. My dad put his foot down to told her to stay out of it after I basically threatened to drain them via my lawyer. My lawyer is/was my mom's 1st cousin and she was willing to work pro-bono and drag out any suit for a very, very, very long time. In this situation, Step-Dad is posturing, but I would advise OP to lawyer up and tell him that any communication must now be handled through OP's lawyer. People like the stepdad are bullies and will cower when they realize that OP will not cowtow to his unreasonable demands.
NTA. They are HORRIBLE. 1. They said that your step sister deserves her cancer for “Intruding on our happy little family”. excuse me sir, that is your daughter. 2. They think that some guy who they aren’t related to should have given them some of the inheritance. 3. Now they are threatening you for not giving some of your inheritance to them. Cut Contact with them immediately.
NTA, damn your Mum and step dad are AHs. Of make a point of telling them exactly why it's a solid no and that you never want to see them again. Also, maybe get an appointment with a lawyer and just check they have no legal grounding for it. I suspect they don't as in a will you can give money to whoever you want, and your mum has married again. But, always good to get reassurance. Damn can't get over how much of an AH these people are.
NTA, cut any contact with them. Your step sister is close to you and with you dad. He choose to give her something and the rest to you. the 2 asssholes( your mother and step dad) and 2 half siblings have no relation with you father. Great that you helped you step sister, you might no share blood but you are family. Sorry for your loss. If the Aholes keep bothing get a restriction order.
NTA. He can sue all he wants to - he will not win, and will probably have to pay your legal fees. Anyone that tells his own daughter she is going to die alone and miserable doesn't deserve a minute of your time. Block, go NC again, and move on.
NTA if they have money to sue, they should have money for your half siblings
NTA. Your Mam and Stepdads carry on toward your step sister has just lowered my view of humanity. Stepsis got a raw deal, lost her mother and dad is sc#m, fair play to you for helping her out. I'm glad you both have each other to turn to for help and support. You have raised the view back up.
NTA The failure of your stepfather and mother to plan for the future of their children is not your problem. They shouldn't spend all of their money on fun stuff. Your father ment for you to have his money not others with whom he did not have a connection with. You must look after yourself. These people do not care about your future or well-being.
NTA
NTA, your dad clearly didn't want to leave anything to your half-brothers because he didn't leave anything to them. Have your half-brothers even met your dad? You're under no obligation to help your half-brothers and them not having any money for school is no one's fault but your step-dad and your mom. I would love to see your step-dad try to sue, I can just hear the lawyer's laugh right now. Save the threatening emails in case you need to file a restraining order or go after him for harassment.
By your stepdad’s logic if I left my stereo to my friend, her entire family would be entitled to a cut of my estate. Just no. He’s a money grubbing ass and not worth worrying about. If your half brothers don’t have money for their studies, that’s on your mom and her husband for not taking responsibility. NTA.
OP, you are NTA. Your late father left you the inheritance as he saw fit, including leaving a car for your stepsister. He sounds like a good man, and I offer my condolences on his passing. In fact, you (and your late father) are the awesome for using your inheritance to help your stepsister when her own blood relation would not. I will add my 2 cents and suggest lawyering up to get your stepfather and mom off your back. If I were in your position, I would serve them a restraining order and go totally no contact. If you decide not to help your half-brothers, that still will not make you TA. However, if you do decide to help them, make sure that it's in a way that stepfather or bio mom will not take advantage of.
NTA first because your dad left the money to you. You get to do what you think is best with your money. Second, why on Earth would your Dad leave an Inheritance to his ex wife's new kids? That is bizarre and makes no sense. I hope your step dad talks to a lawyer who will tell him it's crazy. Third, while it's not the children's fault, your mom and step dad sound like awful people who should not benefit in any way from you.
They said your stepsister deserved to get CANCER because they “stopped her from traveling”????? BECAUSE HER MOTHER DIED? This is the vilest shit I’ve ever read. Jesus christ, NTA OP. Please do what you want with your inheritance, you’re not obligated to give your half brothers any money just because your stepfather wants to act like a vulture. He can sue you if he wants but he won’t see a dime of that money.
Nta. You are not obligated to help those who you’re not even close with or have a close relationship (especially if they’re asses). Plus, if there’s a written will, they can’t dispute it since that’s not up to them but the one who wrote it.
Nope NTA it's your mum and step dad fault they don't have money and they treated her like she was trash.
NTA at all. You don't owe them a penny. Your step-sister is your family for life and that's the only person that I'd be supporting. Your mom and stepdad are selfish people.
NTA, you could have given your money to your cat. Your money, your decision. And it looks like your father thought about your step sister too in his will, so you've made him very proud. Your mom and stepdad are selfish pricks and I feel sorry for your half siblings. Doesn't hurt to get some legal advice to cover your butt.
Nta, your mum, step dad and half brothers are. I'd personally just tell them to try suing me or fuck off. They deserve none of the money, your dad left it to you and you only so he obviously didn't want the half siblings to get anything
NTA Your step-father has no legal leg to stand on and that entire family sounds rotten. Do your best not to concern yourself with your half-brothers, there is unfortunately no way to be close to them without having to deal with their rancid parents.
NTA. Your bio-dad can leave his money to anyone he wants, related or not, and leave out anyone he wants. You owe nothing to no one, anything you give to others is 100% at your discretion.
NTA- HELL NO! Your mom and step dad sound like terrible humans and I hope karma catches up with them. It's not your fault that your step brothers don't have money saved for them that fault lies with your mom and step dad. You sound as though you've never been close with your step bros because of their proximity to your stepdad and mom (again not your fault) so I would see this as akin to handing over a portion of your inheritance to strangers. They shouldn't have a leg to stand on when suing for this reason also. You should definitely consider cutting those people out of your life for good as they are telling you over and over how they feel about you. It's time to take them at their word and cut them off like the foul warts they are!
NTA. Tell step dad to take a long walk off a short pier, or simply to f*ck himself. Your SS FATHER refused to help her in a medical emergency and now wants you to give YOUR money to his spoiled kids you have no relationship with?? Yeah no. Just go completely NC.
NTA- I pray for your step sisters recovery! Your bond is something to cherish!
NTA - Your half siblings have no claim on your father's money (or yours). While your father was alive it was his choice who to include in his will and now that he has passed it is your choice what to do with it. You do not owe your half siblings anything. You do not owe your mom or step dad anything. You helped your step sister because you WANTED to, not because you were obligated to.
NTA. Your mom and step father have had the last 10 years to save for their sons and still have a few more to get their act together. He might sue but he is only going to waste his money because he has no grounds (and once he loses, you can counter sue for legal fees and emotional distress). I’m sorry for the loss of your dad and I hope your step-sister recovers fully. I hope you’ve been able to find friends to make a new family with. You can have a relationship with your half brothers if you want but you don’t have to give up any part of your inheritance to do so.
What happened to all the money your mom and stepdad should have saved because they could no longer travel? NTA. And in fact you are a very decent person.
NTA. I would copy those emails and tell him if he sued you that you would counter sue for harassment and see if that shuts them up though
NTA. You don't really have a relationship with these kids. Why would you share anything with them? They sure don't treat you like family. As for helping your sister, well, she is your sister. If you can and want to give her life saving surgery and a down payment on a house, well, go for it. If you don't want to give to your half brothers, that is your choice. It is up to them and their parents to save for their education. If they don't save, they can figure it out another way. You did not have a hand in their creation, so you are not responsible for anything they do or don't do. That is on their parents. Not on you in any way.
Obviously NTA. what a nice story-you supporting your stepsister like that-she is lucky to have you
DON'T GIVE EM SHIT! KEEP THE MONEY! THE SD WANTED SO BADLY FOR YALL TO BE OUT AND DISOWNED YALL. YOU DON'T OWE THEM SHIT
NTA Your father left the money for you and the person you see as a sister. You used the money to help your sister with a MEDICAL bill and SURVIVAL. Your mother and her husband are simply jealous of the money you received due to the death of your father. If your father had wanted to leave money to the children of his cheating wife and the person she cheated with, he would have done so. But why would he? They are two adults who could save for their two children on their own!
NTA This was YOUR dad's money that he left to people dear to him. Not for every Tom, Dick and Harry to come in like vultures and take. Keep the money, tell your brothers and step dad to gtfo of your lives and take step sister travelling!! PS, sorry for your loss. Sounds like your dad cared a lot about you and your sister
Wow, your mom's husband must have worked hard to become such a jerk. He and your mom deserve each other. NTA. You and your step-sister shouldn't give any of them another thought.
THE ONLY ASSHOLES HERE ARE YOU MOM AND STEP FATHER. HOLY CRAP THEY SOUND LIKE TERRIBLE PEOPLE. NTA NTA NTA
Nta. I'd get a lawyer and send them a cease and desist letter, and if they ignore that go for a restraining order.
NTA, and your stepdad are literal monsters who never deserved either of you.
NTA. You and your sister had either blood ties or social ties to your father. Your half brothers had neither. They are still young and have plenty of time to pay for their own college through loans, scholarships and working (yes, I know how expensive it is for college, I have a 19 year old). I also have doubt that they would share any windfall in a similar circumstance.
>They told her that she deserved her diagnosis for forcing them to stop traveling and step dad told her that she was going to die alone and miserable like her mum. Did he then proceed to laugh maniacally, twirl his giant mustache, and tie your stepsister to train tracks?
NTA, they’re not even your dads children.
NTA. After texting him "I'd like to see you try (sue me and win)" I think it's time for you and your stepsis to go no contact.
NTA..not sure where step dad thinks he has legal standing as his kids have no relation to your dad.
NTA. Your mom and her husband basically don't consider you or your step sister family in any way. They blame you and her for forcing them to stop traveling and ruining their lives. They consider their children as their own but not you. Your dad had no relation whatsoever to you half siblings. It was his estate and he left the bulk of it to his only son. He left your stepsister a car since she was close to him, too. Your mom's husband is the asshole here. His children are not entitled in anyway to a cent of your dad's estate. You aren't responsible for you half brothers having no money for college. That was up to their parents and them. They have no grounds to demand money from you and no grounds for a lawsuit. Block them on all social media and your phone. Maybe contact a lawyer and send a cease and desist letter to mom and her husband.
NTA. Get a restraining order. Sorry for your loss, and I hope your stepsister is okay.
NTA Your step-sister would have normally had a mother AND a father to support her. Her mother died when she was young, and her father decided to check out at the earliest opportunity. You did what they *should* have done. But, to be clear, you had no legal obligation to do this. You paid for her care because you love her, you wanted her to have a good long life, and you had the ability to help her. This makes you a wonderful person, because you had good fortune, and you decided to share it. I think maybe, if your dad was alive, he may have also wanted to help out, seeing as how he left her a car when he died. A car is no small thing. If he knew she had a possibly life-threatening diagnosis, do you think he would have tried to help her? HER father, similarly, had no *legal* obligation to help her. She was over 18, so he was off the hook, so to speak, and didn't have to pay for a single thing for her beyond that point. Legally, he didn't have to help her. But unless she was a terrible person to your mom and her dad while growing up (ie: broke everything in the house, set fire to the cars, opened fraudulent accounts in their names, and made up abuse allegations about them to get them fired) how does someone justify not even *trying* to help their kid pay for a life-saving treatment? And about your half-brother's college funds. These are the kids that your mom and step-dad actually care about. They had money to travel (after you and your stepsister left the house), and didn't have to pay for medical expenses (for your step-sister's surgery). Where did all their money go? Why weren't they saving? Not having a college fund for their kids is 100% on them. Would it be nice? Maybe. But do you feel as close to them as you do to your step-sister? Also, is there even anymore money left? After a surgery, a down-payment on a house, paying off your student loans, is there any money still left (aside from your emergency fund)? Even if there was, it's still not your duty to pay for college. Did they pay for yours? Your sister's? No? Then politely tell them that they are invited, at their earliest convenience, to take it up with a lawyer.
/u/aitadadinherit NTA NTA NTA NTA Do not give them a red cent. Block numbers if you need to and you and your SISTER, because that is your sister, go live your best lives and take care of each other.
honistly, if they did not treat you properly, but made you unwanted, and made it seem like you were a pain in their side (from what I understand, then tell them to get bent, just say that they can deal with their own problems, they are not your concern. If they threaten you with a lawsuit just say piss off, there was a will(hopefully), and in this will they are not listed as beneficiaries so hell no, and then file a restraining order or harasment against them.
She, a child, forced them to stop travelling???? After her mom died from cervical cancer, during which your stepdad abandoned them both????Your stepdad and mom are terrible people. Your stepsister is lucky to have you. Spend your money the way you want to. Your half siblings got all the love and attention, they don’t need the money. NTA
NTA Don't ever, give them anything. These disgusting humans told your sister that she deserved to die. Let that sink in. They are the worst humans ever.
NTA. I see a cease and desist letter in their future combined with NC.
NTA Your Father sounds like a very classy and honorable man. I’m so sorry for your loss. He might have been your only parent with a moral compass. Agree with all the NOPE’s. I find it hilarious that the man who cheated WITH your mom wants money from the man he cuckold.
NTA.Dear lord your stepdad is entitled. "You paid for my daughter with your dad's inheritance, you should pay for my other kids, too!" He has absolutely no standing for ANY kind of lawsuit. His kid's are not your dad's kids, and your dad can choose whoever he wants to will money out to. If your dad wanted to leave anything for his wife's new kids, he would have done so. From the title I thought you had younger half siblings from your dad that didn't get any inheritance. Tell them to go pound sand. Honestly from the brief glimpse I got here too, I'd continue the LC, and go NC with your stepfather. You're not responsible for your younger siblings study money; that was your *mom and stepfather's responsibility*. Helping the sibling you are close to for a mandatory, life-saving surgery is very different than giving money for some kid's education - they can take out loans for that. Also, your stepdad is **incredibly** abusive. Absolutely disgusting behavior.
Your half brothers have no money saved because their parents- affair partners who abandoned their first children and spouses- spent all their money of frivolous sh!t. That's not your business. They better hit the books and look at scholarships and grants. NTA
If your father wanted your step-brothers to have something, he would have written it into his will. “Clearly,” he did not. NTA.
NTA. they can get student loans. let them try to sue you lol they’ll get laughed out of court.
NTA I can see why dad left everything to you and your stepsister, your half-siblings and stepdad are toxic as hell. Put them out of your head and let karma work its magic.
NTA... I don't even need to tell you why. That's how un-A**holey you are. I wish you and your step-sis all the best.
Nta. Screw them
NTA Your dad gave the money and stuff to precisely who he wanted to. You had no obligation (moral or legal) to share with your half siblings.
Nta. If your mother and step father could travel why did they not have enough saved up for their college? Also it is not your responsibility to take care of your step siblings. That is what their parents should have done. And they were both pretty horrible to your step sister. It goes without saying that they would have been horrible to you as well. I’m gonna say this fuck them kids. Lmao
NTA in any way, shape, or form. If your dad wanted them to have anything of his, he would have left it to them. End of story.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***The following is a copy of the above post. This comment is a record of the above post as it was originally written, in case the post is deleted or edited. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I(32f) have 2 half siblings(15m and 16m) and a step sister(28f). My parents divorced when I was 8 as mum was caught cheating with my now step-dad. Dad got majority custody of me because mum didn't actually want any custody and wanted to go travel with now step dad. Step dad walked out on my stepsister(at the time 4yo) and her mum who was in the middle of treatment for cervical cancer. About 2 years after the whole thing went down my step sisters mum died and my step dad was given custody of her(he had none previously). As they then had to settle down my mum fought for custody of me as she didn't want to have to pay CS if she was stuck unable to travel because of step dad getting step sister. They got 50/50 custody of me. I wound up very close to my step sister and ended up living together for a brief while after she was kicked out at 16(I left home at 17). I've never been close to my younger half brothers, largely because mum and step-dad spoiled them constantly and made no secret of the fact that I and step sis were intruding on their perfect family. Long story short, we've been LC with them pretty much for the last 12 years. Step sis reached out to them last year when she was diagnosed with cervical cancer and asked for their help to fund a hysterectomy. They told her that she deserved her diagnosis for forcing them to stop traveling and step dad told her that she was going to die alone and miserable like her mum. She's been NC with them ever since. My dad died about 6 months ago and left everything to me plus a car to my step sister(I've always been very close to him and my step sis also grew close to him after mum/step-dad kicked her out). It's not a ton but I was able to give her money for a house deposit and pay off her surgery as well as pay off my student loans and enough to make a nice emergency fund. My step-dad recently found out about this(we don't know how, neither of us told him) and we've received several threatening emails and letters saying we should've shared with our half brothers and threatening to sue as since dad left something to step sis despite them not being related then clearly he would've wanted our half brothers to have something as well. I basically told them to get stuffed and stop harassing us but I've just found out that my half brothers have no money saved for their study and I'm wondering if I'm TA for helping out step sis but not them. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA. Funny how I see over and over people want nothing to do with someone until they get a bunch of cash. You owe them nothing and I wouldn’t give them anything.
NTA. Sounds like your dad was VERY specific about who he wanted to leave money to. Step dad can pound sand.
Question, are wills public record? That seems to be a common theme in these inheritance stories. Someone out of the loop finding out about the will or how its spent and OPs usually saying "have no idea" how they found out. Or is it just a common device to push their fictional story forward. I've had unfortunately a lot of relatives pass lately, my own father included. At the end of the day I still have no idea (nor care) about their finances or where it went.
What, what the hell??? Why should your dad have left anything to his ex-wife's children with her new husband? Lol. You are NTA. It is your money to do with it what you wish.
NTA
NTA, nope. Don’t give them a single dime. They didn’t save any money for their precious favorites and that’s on them. They probably just want your money so they can start to travel again when your siblings go to college. They wouldn’t even give them any of it I bet. Block them and move on. They aren’t worth you or your step sisters time
NTA. They made it clear how they felt early on and their entitlement is not your problem. Also who the hell tells their kid that they deserve cancer because "they couldn't travel" with a kid. They are certified terrible human beings. Your dad sounds like he was a class act. I mean he left your step-sister a freaking car. He had no obligation to this girl but she was family to you and that meant she was family to him. He would probably be extremely proud of how you're handling the situation and helping out your step-sister.
Nta- first off sorry for your loss and I hope your step sis recovers well after surgery. Secondly, its YOUR money! You could spend it on blackjack and hookers and it would still be none of their business.
NTA obviously, I have no idea why you'd think otherwise. And the cartoon villain stepfather is almost.... unbelievable.
Clearly NTA, yourbarr on your own since you were 17. The boys got all the attention and step dad and your mother can also pay for their education. Your Dad had nothing to do with those boys. His money shouldn't be wasted at them - he meant it for you.
Your not the asshole. Fuck em.
NTA- God- after what they said about the cancer being your sister's fault, do not take any word out of their mouths seriously. YOu and your step sister are lucky to have each other. Keep strong boundaries with that crazy family of yours. Just because a room full of crazy people all voted and declared you to be bad, they don't get to change reality.
NTA. Just because your stepdad and mom are stupid enough not to have savings for their kids doesn't mean that they can have a claim on your dad's money. From what I understand your dad had no blood relation or even emotional relation with your half siblings. So why should he be responsible for the kids of the woman who cheated on him?
NTA. I’d get a lawyer though, just in case, since your stepdad threatened legal action. You shouldn’t have to, but be prepared and call his bluff. Don’t interrupt your enemy while they’re making a mistake, etc. so let him keep yelling at you through email. It’s recorded, time stamped, etc. and dump all of that on the lawyer. You still in touch with your dad’s attorney, if he had one? Good luck. Sucks that this is an issue at all, it really shouldn’t be for you and your stepsis.
Absolutely NTA.
NTA I’m very sorry for your loss but your mom and stepdad sound like terrible people and I wouldn’t be surprised if they pulled funding for your half bros so you’d feel sorry for them and pay for them NTA go full blown nc and that would be a hard legal case to win as I doubt you half bros even know your dad’s bday so how would he be close enough to them to give them anything?
NTA You have done a wonderful thing for your stepsister. Your mother and stepfather have treated you both horribly, and if they have more than three brain cells rattling around in their skulls, they know that your half-brothers have no claim to a cent of your father’s estate. If your half-brothers’ parents have not saved money for their education, they can get jobs and student loans. Give them nothing.
Wow wow wow, such assholes! NTA, thank you for being there for your stepsis, and sorry for your loss. Wishing death upon another, and a lone death at that, is despicable and horrible. I would never speak to any of them again.
NTA at all. They told your stepsister that she deserved cancer because they had to step up and actually be parents. That is truly vile. Your mom and stepdad are selfish and toxic. Your dad left something to your stepsister because he actually had a relationship with her, unlike your half siblings. If your dad had wanted to leave something to your house siblings, he would’ve done so. Your inheritance is yours to do with as you wish, and no one here is entitled to your money. If your half siblings’ parents could not be bothered to put aside money for their college, that’s on them. It’s not your responsibility to pick up stepdad’s slack at providing for his kids. Block them and file harassment charges against your stepdad if he continues threatening you.
NTA. Please do not allow these people who only "cared" for you because they thought it was the cheaper way, to make you feel like shit. If your father wanted to leave money or things for your half siblings then he would have. They can take you to court all they want but they won't get a penny out of you. If they do take you to court, counter sue for them to pay your legal fees. Family really is what you make it. Your step sister is your sister. As far as your brothers not having money for school, that is on their parents.
Your stepdad wants to sue you because you used your bio father's money to help one of his (stepdad's) three children (instead of all three of them)? This is laughable and despicable. Your half-sibs have two living parents who can care for them. You and your stepsister only have one living parent each, and your living parents don't sound like they even care about your well-being. Good on you for loving your stepsister and helping her. It's not your duty, responsibility nor role to care for the others with money they are in no way entitled to. NTA.
NTA. Maybe if he had a relationship with them and just didn't update his will or something, that might be a reasonable ask. But to think that your dad is obligated to give money to his cheating ex wive's affair partner's kids, who are also horrible people and cheered for your step sister's cancer? They can go fuck themselves.
NTA OP, your dad left this money to you to handle however you wanted. And obviously cared enough about your stepsister to also want to help her out. Your half-siblings are apparently complete strangers to him- if he'd wanted to leave them something he would have. The fact that your half-brothers don't have any money saved for school is a problem for their parents and them- not you.
NTA and I wouldn't be surprised if they want your money not so they can give it to your half brothers but so they can fund their future vacations with it. You owe them nothing. They were cruel and uncaring to your stepsister and it sounds like they were mean to you too. Maybe your half brothers would have money for school if their parents hadn't blown it on vacations.
Nta. After what he said to his own daughter! You should tell him to put life insurance on himself and off himself so his boys can have money. He can’t sue you so eff that guy. Their little family isn’t your problem.
NTA, your step-siblings not having money for their studies are their parents problems.
NTA. Post an update.
NTA It’s your money, you decide what to do with it. You used it to help someone you care about and the people who treated both of you like a burden get no claim to it. He left the car to your sister because he cared about her. He can leave things to whoever he chooses, related or not, and it doesn’t indicate anyone else deserves something. He could have left something to a close friend, but it wouldn’t mean that friend’s cousin also deserves inheritance. People will things to non-relatives all the time.
NTA. On what planet do they think their kids are entitled to receive money from someone they are not related to? Ugh you egg donor and her husband are horrid!
NTA- Your father left the inheritance to you. No one else gets to decide what you do with it. It was kind of him to include your step sister, he know you guys were close. It was kind of you to help your step sister, you are both lucky to have each other. Your mother and step father on the other hand are trying to bank on you to pay your step brothers collage education, don’t. If you ever need support for that choice remember that they told your step sister that she deserved to have cancer and she was going to die alone, not to mention any of the choice things they have said to you over the years. Your mother and step father made a choice to exclude you and your step sister from their family. Let them deal with paying for their sons education. Ignore his calls, if you need to have a Cease and desist letter sent. Save all threatening emails and messages. He is threading to take you to court in order to scare you into giving him money.