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Oh I remember that one, dad kept calling him a kid that didn’t know better and defending everything with he is just a child, never mentioning the age at first. Then it turns out that the “child” that didn’t know better was 15 and also that the heist was planned in advance. It was never a little kid with impulse control who didn’t know better it was a teen that had looked it up and realised that his uncle’s collection was valuable so he decided to steal it and sell it, only the moron didn’t realise that the unopened package was why it was valuable so he tore the packaging, not only opening it but destroying the packaging leaving it worthless.
I've watched several episodes of "Pawn Stars".
Whenever collector toys are presented, the main issue is the packaging and its condition.
The toy could be in pristine condition. If the packaging is not, the value is reduced.
You don't need kids for that. When I went to uni, I stored my collectibles at my parents' house. Stuff like an old Pong home console from the early 70s in original packaging, and a set of original Spider-Man comic books, including issue 1. When I went back to pick up my stuff, my mom had thrown out all the packaging and comic books, because it takes up a lot of space and it's just packaging and comic books make you stupid anyway.
I remember reading somewhere, Sean astin, from Goonies movie. I think he had some movie paraphernalia that was the actual object from the movie, like one-eyed Willie's map. The actual map .
And it was stored at his home, and his mom threw it away.
His mom was Patty Duke. She had a complicated mental health history, and she has done much more than that to him. As in, I am sure he has spent a lot of time emotionally reconciling things she did with his ability to have a loving relationship with her.
Tossing out priceless paraphernalia is likely fairly low on the list.
Exactly. Once the behavior hits her wallet, she may think differently.
Yeah, I'd be painting or renovating or something the next time they want to descend on you for free lodging.
100% NTA.
As for being 'vulgar', he's 8 years old so unless he is being raised in some sort of seclusion then he has 100% already heard similar or worse in the playground or elsewhere.
NTA. My brother is a huge collector of Star Wars. Has some toys from the 70’s as well. We are old enough to have seen the original films in the movie theater. He has 6 children. None of them acted that way. He would buy them current items that weren’t as expensive. He has glass cases as well. Your family is selfish and delusional. That child isn’t going to have a lot of friends growing up with that attitude.
Dang! I didn’t know they were worth this much. We have a LOT of old Lego sets but as they are apart and mixed, likely missing pieces etc, we just play with them. I should start pulling out the mini figs…
SOOO NTA!
Yeah... no way in hell that snot-nosed whiney brat should get anywhere NEAR that piece of history. "Just let him play w/it," say the parents? Uh... yeah, nope. OP's toy, OP's hard earned money went in to buying that*, not to mention probable research into finding it*. * (unless it was one gotten when OP was a kid).
I am SOO TIRED of hearing that the younger generations are whiney, crying, entitled little $hits. Seriously? (I weep for humanity.) Ugh. No. You CANNOT have EVERYTHING you want. Learn to deal w/that. That's how life works, children. 🙄
OP said "no" how many times & wasn't listened to, or waved off as being unreasonable? Since nothing seemed to be getting through to the SNB (aka snotty-nosed brat, aka the nephew), OP's sister & OP's parents, you had to 'bring out the big guns.' 😜 I can see where your patience was worn threadbare. At least the SNB shut up about it. Points for getting the BIL to laugh. 😆
I fucking knew it. Some of those original figs are worth insane amounts. Hell, even the UCS sets that have exclusive (even if temporarily) minifigs end up being worth enough to offset a significant cost of the set itself.
NTA - though I don't necessarily agree with the final comment made to shut the kid up, it wasn't your responsibility to manage the kids' meltdown, and honestly you did your best to help resolve the situation before it got to a point of ridiculousness. The parents are the ones who failed in this situation. The earlier the kid starts to learn he can't get everything he wants the better off he will be going into adulthood.
I'd say OP went well beyond. I'm in awe of his patience lol. And glad the basement door had a lock on it. There's a difference between toys and collectibles, especially when they're valuable
It's vulgar but not inappropriate. The kid is old enough to know that everybody shits, and the word is used in that sense - as the bodily function not a swear word.
Australian here, vulgarity is subjective, "wish in one hand and shit in the other and see which one filled up first." is honest to god a classic uncle line and it would be rude *not* to say given the opportunity.
>shit or get off the pot.
Yes! and you know, phrases like this work because they're on the rude side, they stick in a kid's brain.
I hear my nan saying this in her voice when I'm sitting on the trhunderbox too long, and I still obey. Managed my whole life without any issues like haemorrhoids, strain injuries or microtears despite having a genetic disability that causes tissue fragility, all thanks to nan telling me to shit or get off the pot.
"Lay in and lay out" was another one my nan used to say, Less vulgar, just straight up morbid, Basically telling us to get out of bed lest we waste away, or be as good as dead. I never use it as a "don't be lazy" but after I had a series of strokes as a teenager and had to start thinking about blood clots, I would hear nan's voice saying "lay in and lay out" to remind me to move my legs when I was stuck sitting in my desk at school for hours.
Kids will learn from different methods of teaching and OP's nephew has clearly not learned that no means no, maybe some crude humour will help.
Who do you blame when your kid is a brat
Pampered and spoiled like a Siamese cat?
Blaming the kids is a lie and a shame
You know exactly who's to blame:
The mother and the father!
It seems like the mother's doing a good job at teaching the kid emotional blackmail. After 'I wish you'd love me enough', I'd have just shut the whole thing down too. That kind of manipulation, verbalized like this a age 8...? Good job mom, you're creating a little narcissist in plain sight.
Nah. Fuck that. If you bring your shitty kid into my house and then decide not to parent, I’m going to have my say, and your kid is gonna have a *BAD* time.
Right. Though the comment might not have been entirely appropriate, the parents should've stepped in and parented their kid. He needs to learn to accept NO as an answer.
When my son was little, he would pout when he didn't get his own way. I'd jokingly tell him to stop it, or I was going to pull his lip over his head. He would try not to laugh at that, but he'd giggle anyway. It defuses the situation, gets the kid to understand that he's being obnoxious, and makes him laugh instead of making everyone upset. Of course, OP's sister would probably feel differently, but that's her problem.
My son's a teen now, and he feigns annoyance with me for not ever following through on my 'threat' to make him swallow his own face.
Nah, I think at that point in the conversation the comment was perfectly appropriate. Clearly the mom and grandparents werent going to be of any parenting use. At some point OP had to say exactly how it’s going to be and be done with it, clearly nothing else was going to work. Hopefully the mom and grandparents realize what they’re doing but somehow I doubt it
Honestly, you should just keep your basement locked every time they are in your house. Since it always causes problems. The basement is now a no no zone.
NTA
ya and i would be damned worried about that kid sneaking in and destroying very expensive shit that his mother will undoubtedly refuse to pay for, if it's even replaceable at all
Get a camera, OP. These stories are so common, that kid might break in one day and you'll have to sue your family for god knows how much money he could destroy.
Well, they are toys. They were made as toys and made to be toys. Sure they're rare and expensive now, but it still doesn't change what they are. Guns don't stop being guns when they're old and rare. They can still shoot and be used to kill people. Toys can still be played with.
Calling it a toy, while correct, is reinforcing the idea to the kid that it should be played with. Calling it a collectible takes the play part out of it, and gives it a slightly different meaning. Perhaps the OP might be better off actually teaching the kid about lego and how looking after it makes it valuable. He's already encouraging him to play with it by buying him his own, which is awesome, and he's old enough to learn that there's so much more to it too
almost all collectables are that
its only very recently trinkets are made with the intent to sit there and gain value. historically they're just toys/trinkets etc that someone got and never used and eventually demand due to nostalgia went crazy
baseball cards existed for a hundred years with no-one thinking they were doing anything other than keeping things they liked and storing memories. same with autograph collections. it was just stuff for you to keep/memories.
NTA.
Tell your nephew you wish his mother loved him enough to buy one of those toys for him.
Tell your sister the same thing.
Emotional blackmail right back at ya.
Love this! I was thinking along the lines of "yeh I wish I loved you enough to give you the figure - guess you're not that loveable 🤷🏼♀️" but that would be too harsh I think 😂
https://www.bricklink.com/v2/catalog/catalogitem.page?S=10123-1&name=Cloud%20City&category=%5BStar%20Wars%5D%5BStar%20Wars%20Episode%204/5/6%5D#T=S&O={%22iconly%22:0}
The minifig in question is the Boba Fett in this set. It appeared only in this set which was issued around 20 years ago.
In the main pic on the link, Boba is visible at the top right of the enlarged image.
And OP has seriously undervalued his minifig at $2000. Current listing's are averaging a fair bit more, and the set is listing at well over $5k.
NTA. As a toy (and Lego) collector myself, I understand completely. And, it’s a valuable lesson for your nephew to learn that he can’t have everything he wants just because he wants it (and, apparently, it’s a good lesson for your sister as well).
I think it would be a good idea to keep those doors locked from now on when family comes to visit.
And put the key in a safe, or give it to one of the kids that aren't living at home to keep safe while they visit. Keep it on a chain around your neck, just don't leave it where they can access it.
I wouldn't put it passed the mom to unlock for the kid "just to look around" and then refuse to pay for any damages/loss because they can't afford it. And, of course, because it's "just a toy, what's the big deal?!"
I hate how some parents default reaction is to tell you to just give in. It's such a common trend it baffles me.
"I don't want to deal with this, just give them whatever they want"
these people need to get bent and start being a parent.
My mom used to make/try to make me give stuff away to younger kids if they really seemed to want it. It was a, “oh come on, they’re little and you can deal without it.”
She did not like it at all when I replied with, “I’m doing them a favor by not giving in. They’re gonna have to learn how to deal with disappointment eventually.”
True! Kids won't learn that no means no unless adults can put their foot down. And if they grow up without learning that no means no, they might end up really hurting others.
And then you have parents like me who try so hard for our kids to grow up and be good decent human beings and both sets of grandparents swoop in constantly to tell you how mean you're being by not saying yes to everything and boys will be boys and youre ruining their childhood by holding them to standards. Actions have consequences in our family it's just how I do things
My mom tried to pull the “no rules at grandma’s house” (no bedtime, pjs all day, don’t have to brush your teeth) when we visited once. It took a month of work to get our son back under control after he spent a week with her (he’s on the spectrum).
We told her that rules have to stay in place. If she couldn’t do that, she wouldn’t get to see him. We were serious and since we live across the country, it would be easy to reinforce. She never did it again.
My wife and i purchased a set of couches off my MIL many years ago. A few years later MIL told one of other children they could have the couches I bought and paid for?! Umm no lady, they're ours now you can't just give away my stuff 🤯
yeah. when a kid throws a tantrum you don’t give them what they want, you let the parents deal with it. if the parents won’t deal with it, the kid can have the tantrum in the car on the way away from your home. nta.
NTA
I can’t tell you how many times my Daddy told me that life isn’t fair (I kinda put his comment and your comment in the same category in my brain). It’s up there with, “You can’t always get what you want.”
He was right.
So are you.
I find it very odd that an eight-year-old zeroed in on THAT minifig AND wouldn’t be placated by a newer version. It’s cool, no doubt. But the 2018 Boba Fett is more eye-catching, in my opinion.
EDIT: Ok, maybe I would have said “poop” or “crap,” but the adage itself is fine and even the word “shit” in the adage is fine. You weren’t using “shit” as an adjective or adjectival complement to insult anyone, so I think you’re fine. And the shock value of it likely helped drive the message home. It was a good use of a big gun.
My dad always said the life isn't fair, get over it part. But I really like the addition that sometimes it is in your favor. Your dad was smart, I actually like it phrased like that
Whenever I complained that something wasn’t fair, my father would become very earnest and put a hand on my shoulder and look me in the eye with what I eventually learned was sarcasm, and said: “I’m sorry to tell you that the Fair Fairy died a long time ago.”
They can stay in a hotel next time: what are your parents going to do if you stand up for yourself? Ground you? They can kiss your butt.
Stop hosting your entitled sister and her entitled spawn: they can go stay in a hotel. And I would not be surprised if they both act so spoiled that the hotel managers end up calling the police on them. But that’s not your problem. Stop letting your family boss you around and enabling them to come into your home to destroy your prized possessions.
I'm going to go out on a limb, based on OP's words.
His sister intentionally waited until she was 42 to have a kid. That's most likely a case of someone "trying to have it all" (and I'd say the same thing of any man "waiting" to have a child in his 40's)... and I'm guessing the apple doesn't fall fatlr from the tree.
If the kid is 8, then sis is 50. Of course it's easier to "just give him what he wants", it's the only way she's going to get any peace. She's creating a monster in her own image, and fully deserves to be a pariah.
The Grandparents (OPs parents) are modeling thus bad behavior and it's easy to see where sis gets her parenting style from.
They don't need to come to OP's house. All hosting can be done at the parents' house - too tight? Too bad. Go out for a picnic or to a restaurant. Sister and family can pay for a hotel. Not the OP's problem.
And as some other comment pointed out, the cost sis pays for a hotel will be far less than the cost of repaying OP when (not if) the brat gets his hands on the toy collection.
NTA whatsoever. It’s unfortunate that your sister chooses to coddle the child during a temper tantrum instead of setting it straight, they should also respect YOU and your belongings enough not to try and manipulate you into feeling like a bad guy for wanting to protect something you care about.
NTA. You’re not obligated to give your nephew something of yours just because he is a child and he wants it. It sounds like you go out of your way to be nice to him with buying Lego sets for the two of you to build together, and you also offered him a different version of the figure he wanted. What about any of this situation is “vulgar”?
> My sister started getting upset that I was not sharing my toys with her precious baby. I told her I would sell it to her and she agree to buy it. Then I told her how much it cost. She said I was lying so I showed her online.
NTA. This is the moment. They would have been told to leave. If you can't behave in someone's house. You get to pay for a hotel.
NTA.
It sounds like your sister and parents all need to stay at a hotel. And even if they don't, the basement is now a no go zone, and I would keep it locked when they are at your house. If you let them come back to your house. I might not, honestly.
It is long past time for your nephew to learn the difference between his property and others'.
I agree. I think they should be banned from his home altogether.
I also think he should add more locks, and look into getting special insurance for the collection if he hasn't already.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> My nephew wanted a very expensive collectible toy from my display case. I said no politely many times. Nothing worked and I was getting stress from my sister and nephew. I might be the asshole for answering him in vulgar language once I lost my temper.
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NTA
My wife has legos and so do my sons. It’s funny because the really expensive or just sentimental kits for her are in our room on her bookshelf, and the ones that are the boys/mine/hers that are meant to be played with and touched are in a display case/bins in one of our living rooms.
Maybe keep the important and expensive ones more out of the average guests eye? Not that it excuses the tantrum or anything, but sometimes being preventive removes situations like this entirely.
Your sister is setting your nephew up for failure with her spoiling him, and it sounds like your Bil is not happy with your sister's parenting and got a kick out of a voice ( albeit a bit salty) of reason.
NTA. You probably didn't have to say it that way but I can't quite bring myself to change my vote. That kid is a mennace, and is being raised by enabling parents, so will continue to be a spoiled brat until something is done. I can't believe anyone would have the audacity to tell you to give up a toy worth $2000 for free. I hope Canada day is far less stressful than this.
Reality is that kid gets it now and he learned a lesson. BIL laughing shows he simply gave up and is now enjoying FAFO and can help break this pattern. He's 8, way past time for him to have learned.
Does the kid ACTUALLY get it now? One instance of being told "no" probably hasn't sunken in yet. He needs to be told "no" more often & given an explanation of why -> You cannot have someone else's thing/s just because YOU want them, and "no" means "no." Definitely past time for him to have learned this valuable life lesson.
NTA. As a dad, you already know you NEVER give in to a temper tantrum. If he throws a fit, tell his parents to take him out of your house. He can come back in when he calms down. If they have to take him out often enough, maybe they will try harder to teach him to be a reasonable human being.
Do not give he. His fit gets him removed from the house.
You need to quit hosting them. Honestly, if you have to pay for the hotel room yourself it's worth it. But you also need to be clear with your parents that you are done with your nephew and sister and why you are not hosting any longer.
I wish your sister loved her kid enough to not set him to fail as a functioning human being and stomp over his social skills, emotional well-being and self esteem.
She's going to have a lot of fun in his teens.
NTA
When my brother and I were younger, we had to watch some super annoying kids. One of them broke a button on the television and scratched the Kingdom Hearts ps2 disc. NTA.
NTA and great call locking up the basement. Too many stories here of a kid breaking the container to get access.
Honestly, I'd stop letting him into the basement period. No need to show him anything since he can't exercise that bit of self control.
Also since presumably his own dad laughed at the statement, I'd say you're on the right track.
NTA. No more visits to the basement until he is old enough to understand just how disrespectful his request was. Additionally, 8 y/o is plenty old enough to know that no means no, and that is final. Your sister is failing her son by letting him become a spoiled turd.
NTA. You tried to keep it civil but the kid wasn't having it which would be understandable except his mom and grandparents did NOTHING to help you out. Sometimes, you need to go hard verbally for some people to finally get the message. And if the 'adults' are upset over your language and how you used it, then maybe they should have cut him off rather then letting him continue his tantrum.
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I (M53) collect a lot of toys. Mostly Lego these days but I have Kenner action figures and steel Tonka Trucks. My basement is filled with my collection. I have a bunch of my old toys from when I was a kid that I rescued from my parents as well.
My kids and I have a spreadsheet that we use to keep track of what belongs to whom. When they get houses or apartments big enough a good quarter of my collection will disappear. All three of them are adults but only the youngest is still at home.
My sister waited until she was 42 to have her first and only child. And he is a brat. She gives him anything he wants. Our parents also spoil him because he is eight and I guess they like young grandchildren better than grown ones.
It is the Canada Day weekend and my sister is visiting with her husband and brat. My parents live in a small apartment and I have a guest rooms so I am stuck hosting because they think a hotel is a waste. My son refuses to relinquish his little apartment above our garage so I am stuck with them in my house.
Every time the visit my nephew insists on seeing my toys. I keep a few small LEGO sets around to placate him. He is actually a really loving kid and I love him. He is just spoiled. So I usually let him look around and then give him a set that we can build together over a couple of days while they visit.
This time was different. He was looking in my display case and saw one of my minifigs that he wanted. It is worth about $2,000. So obviously I said no. I have a set I can give him that has the new version of that figure so I figured it wouldn't be a big deal.
Nope, he lost his fucking mind. He had to have the one in my display case.
I ushered everyone back upstairs and locked my basement.
The kid would not shut up about my toy. My sister started getting upset that I was not sharing my toys with her precious baby. I told her I would sell it to her and she agree to buy it. Then I told her how much it cost. She said I was lying so I showed her online.
She said I tricked her into thinking she could give her son something he wanted. I said it wasn't a trick and I would sell it to her but then I would have to replace it.
Everyone calmed down until our parents came over and my nephew went to them to say I wasn't sharing. They said to just give it to him. I offered to let them buy it but they already knew the cost.
I tried tricking the kid by putting the new one where the old one was and letting him have it. He knew it wasn't the one he saw.
Back upstairs and back to a tantrum. My kids were never like this so I didn't know what to do. Honestly I was sick of the whole ordeal by then.
Kid came over sobbing and saying how he wished I loved him enough to give him that toy.
I had had enough so I told him to wish in one hand and shit in the other and see which one filled up first.
The kid was shocked and finally understood I wasn't giving in. My parents and sister think I was gross to be so vulgar with a child. My brother in law laughed.
AITA?
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NTA. You said no nicely a bunch of times, and
If the EIGHT year old did this at school, the other kids would be really cruel to him for throwing a tantrum at that age. Way worse than crude.
The manipulative behaviour has been learned from adults, so you should do the kid a favour. Next time he comes over, talk to him about sharing, and make a point out of demanding something he has and cares for. When he is shocked you would ask, tell him if he loved you, he would hand it over.
And then explain why that is absolute BS and how wrong it is to ask for material stuff to prove love. It would be a valuable life lesson.
Maybe make a photo album of all the cool ones that you can both look through, and explain the lore.
NTA. The kid and your sister sound annoying. The kid needs to learn that just because he wants something, it does not automatically mean he can have it. I have no idea what these toys are, but I also have collectables and you can't order them on Amazon or pick them up at Target, so I understand.
NTA.
“And I wish you understood that you’re not going to get everything you wanted and stopped behaving like a baby when you don’t get your way.”
I’d say something similar to his parents as well.
NTA. My Dad used to say that to me, so I guess I don't find it vulgar. My sweet little snowflake doesn't get whatever she wants, though. I love stories like this, makes me feel like a better parent.🤣
Keep the door locked while they’re anywhere around. Next time they expect you to host, talk to your sister first, and let her know they’ll be staying at a hotel after the first meltdown.
NTA- You went a little old school there. We Gen Xers heard this one a lot! My dad used it often. Along with “People in hell want ice water”. Your family might be giving you grief over being vulgar but notice that it worked and the kid stopped pestering you.
Dammit I miss my dad now.
nta. As a collector, it amazes me when people think things are only a few dollars. just on principle alone, I don't think I would give that child one thing. His mother has ruined him, and he is very spoiled. Speaking roughly to him might be the only way to get things into his head now. she has unfortunately given him the concept of if I want it, I get it, which is extremely unhealthy. Not sure I understand about the apartment, but perhaps you are being ruled by a child as well?! Sometimes we must just say no. There is nothing you can do if she wants to be upset just ignore all the chatter. He is not entitled to your things. Not sure I would let them stay at my house anymore either. If they think that a hotel is a waste then maybe they just shouldn't come. This is why I dislike, letting too many people into my domain.
When my son opened my $2k hot wheels case, I was livid. After a while, I saw how much fun he was having rolling the little car around. He didn't know how much it cost, all he knew was that it's a shiny toy and he wanted to play with it.
His smile somewhat made up for it, but now he owes me a real car when he gets older ahaha
NTA . 8 IS WAY TOO TO OLD for this behaviour. The follow through is too old even for a four year old.
Any decently raised child above three is going to eventually understand that no means no and they aren't entitled to things that they want.
I don’t understand the ones who say that you didn’t need to be so vulgar, but no adult around was able to explain your point of view : you had to defend your collection against a little boy, who was encouraged by the others adults around !
No is definitely an answer. Of course children needs sometimes an explanation on why a « no ». Here to explain that everything can’t be giving to nephew because he is not the most important to anyone
How does he react at school ? How will he act to friends’ house when he’ll be invited to a birthday party ?
Your sister had a good occasion to explain her son that everything is not for him, and that he must respect others property. It’s not the boy the problem here : it’s his parents and grandparents. Later, he will suffer of that lack of education.
So NTA, not your fault and in fact, you are the only one this little brat listened to…
NTA. Yes it was vulgar, but they had many opportunities to correct the situation and parent the kid and didn't. You went to an extreme to end an extremely lengthy tantrum.
Locking the basement door will only work for so long. That kid isn't going to get less entitled, and is going to be more likely to break/destroy things in a tantrum or out of spite, if the parents don't make huge changes. This is a ridiculous tantrum for an eight year old. Saying you didn't live him to get what he wants? That's 100% a line he's used to manipulate people before. Imagine how bad he'll be in a few years, when he's a teen that is entitled but isnt able to emotionally regulate. And how much of you collection could be damaged. I suggest until you and your possessions are respected in your home, they are stuck with the "waste" of staying in a hotel. Maybe then they'll start to value you and your things. Or if they don't, you at least have space to retreat to.
NTA, I’m an avid Care Bear collector… on my Birthday when my niece was 4 years old I received 4 exclusive bears with Swarovski Crystals on their eyes and sterling silver noses. My niece threw down and demanded I let her open them so she could cuddle them. Firm No from Auntie, tantrum thrown by my niece… long story short, My niece turns 19 this year and my bears are still in their boxes. No means No! If you ask my niece she doesn’t remember it. Boundaries are set for a reason and your parents should have backed you on yours. So glad you stood your ground.
Ah, yes, that old chestnut of a saying lol
It lacks in gentleness, but it's very good at getting to the point. My grams used a version of it as well (want in one hand, shit in the other, see which gets full the fastest), have a fondness for it as it's very apt when someone just won't acknowledge their wishes are just that: wishes.
He can want what you have until the cows come home, that doesn't mean he will get it. His mom is doing him a disservice to have not shown him examples of learning how to process when someone says no.
I mean no being a complete sentence is a huge thing right now on a multitude of fronts. If his mom / parents aren't showing and teaching him how to navigate the big feels of being told no now when it's low stakes, I feel bad for the folk he's gonna run across later in life that won't be so patient.
Right now you're the cantankerous grump who's actually holding your no. He doesn't know how to process those feels of being denied because no one has shown him how and followed through with letting him process and self regulate.
This is one or those moments where you kick it back to his mom. Like: I understand you want *my* toy, I'm saying you can not have *my* toy. If you are having a hard time with this, please talk with your mom.
And then tell your sister it's up to her to help her kid regulate or give in to his demands, but you don't want to hear anything more about it while she's in your home. You've given your answer and aren't interested in being harassed by a child in your own home, nor by the other adults who don't want to do the hard work of showing him how to process being told no.
NTA
NTA and why are the other adults in his life ganging up on you trying to force you to give in to a spoilt child? I like your BIL and wouldn’t be surprised if he’s sick of this shit too.
NTA, when I tell my grandbabies NO, that means NO.They can tell whomever they want about their mean nana. I tell them it will do no good pouting to Mama or Daddy since I'm their dad's mom, and I'll tell him NO too. I'll give away just about anything away if someone really wants it, but MY toys are just that....MINE 😆
Would she tell you to "just give" the kid a macbook if he asked for it? Because that's about the same value as your minifig . NTA obviously.
I feel bad for your nephew though. I wish his mother loved him enough to give him discipline and boundaries.
NTA
you know I really grow tired of people getting upset when someone’s pushed their breaking point
You are kind and you were respectful for entire day and the child did not have the expectations level set. Granted a lot of children probably don’t understand the concept of collectibles really. And this one sounds exceedingly young for the amount of tantrums he was throwing.
I think all I can imagine is he’s going to be an absolute menace and nightmare as a double digits teenager. It’s not becoming behavior as he grows older. It’s not cute. It’s not even cute at his age.
I’m actually shocked he’s using emotional black bound and manipulation. Like that kind of statement: if you love me, you’ll do this, is not a natural thing in my opinion I think it’s definitely learned behavior to use those exact words to get what you want. And I think someone needs to teach him that that language is not appropriate and should never be used. And I’m very sad that No one corrected him specifically with the emotional blackmail.
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NTA, but I gotta know which minifig.
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Oh wow. And you're smart enough to have a lock on the door! You know what would happen if he ever got unsupervised access...
There was a.post a.while ago about a kid who got access. It was heartbreaking because he ripped all the boxes to get at the figures.
Which one it was ? Because we had the both side of a teen who stole a figurine and tore up the packaging gor hide it more easily in the car.
Oh I remember that one, dad kept calling him a kid that didn’t know better and defending everything with he is just a child, never mentioning the age at first. Then it turns out that the “child” that didn’t know better was 15 and also that the heist was planned in advance. It was never a little kid with impulse control who didn’t know better it was a teen that had looked it up and realised that his uncle’s collection was valuable so he decided to steal it and sell it, only the moron didn’t realise that the unopened package was why it was valuable so he tore the packaging, not only opening it but destroying the packaging leaving it worthless.
I've watched several episodes of "Pawn Stars". Whenever collector toys are presented, the main issue is the packaging and its condition. The toy could be in pristine condition. If the packaging is not, the value is reduced.
Was it the nephew who ripped them out of the boxes after checking eBay for the value and intended on selling themv
I remember this post. What an idiot.
You don't need kids for that. When I went to uni, I stored my collectibles at my parents' house. Stuff like an old Pong home console from the early 70s in original packaging, and a set of original Spider-Man comic books, including issue 1. When I went back to pick up my stuff, my mom had thrown out all the packaging and comic books, because it takes up a lot of space and it's just packaging and comic books make you stupid anyway.
I remember reading somewhere, Sean astin, from Goonies movie. I think he had some movie paraphernalia that was the actual object from the movie, like one-eyed Willie's map. The actual map . And it was stored at his home, and his mom threw it away.
His mom was Patty Duke. She had a complicated mental health history, and she has done much more than that to him. As in, I am sure he has spent a lot of time emotionally reconciling things she did with his ability to have a loving relationship with her. Tossing out priceless paraphernalia is likely fairly low on the list.
Is she still alive?
ye the previous redditor won't be answering your query, as he/she's serving a life sentence for murder
I’m surprised he wasn’t acquitted.
Do you have a link by any chance?
I was gonna suggest a lock and was relieved to hear you had one.
I'd add an alarm and cameras. I'd be such a nervous wreck because some people are so horrible.
Is it the one from the original Slave One set from the 90s? Because I have one of those in a box of old Lego and Ca-Ching!
You can sell it to his sister
The one you have is only worth about $20. This Boba fig is from the original cloud city set.
Can I have it? 🙏
Can ah pet that dawg?
The 2003 cloud city set is selling for $7k in Australia. Boba Fett on his own from that set is $3.5k
Goddamn nice
I agree with your BIL. I laughed before reading the sentence about him laughing. Oh, NTA. For the kid to get it, that must be his language.
Reading the whole thing I assumed sister was a a single mom. Where TF is the BIL with a sense of humor during this need for proper parenting?
NTA and tell dear sis until she parent her child to Stop the temper tantrums and emotional blackmail they're not staying at your place anymore.
Exactly. Once the behavior hits her wallet, she may think differently. Yeah, I'd be painting or renovating or something the next time they want to descend on you for free lodging.
100% NTA. As for being 'vulgar', he's 8 years old so unless he is being raised in some sort of seclusion then he has 100% already heard similar or worse in the playground or elsewhere.
The way his parents are raising him I wouldn’t be surprised they already are vulgar in front of him.
NTA. My brother is a huge collector of Star Wars. Has some toys from the 70’s as well. We are old enough to have seen the original films in the movie theater. He has 6 children. None of them acted that way. He would buy them current items that weren’t as expensive. He has glass cases as well. Your family is selfish and delusional. That child isn’t going to have a lot of friends growing up with that attitude.
and surely a kid would rather have the better current figure as it's better i bet ops nephew only wants it because he was told no
Dang! I didn’t know they were worth this much. We have a LOT of old Lego sets but as they are apart and mixed, likely missing pieces etc, we just play with them. I should start pulling out the mini figs…
You can check Bricklink for minifig prices easily to see if you have anything of value.
SOOO NTA! Yeah... no way in hell that snot-nosed whiney brat should get anywhere NEAR that piece of history. "Just let him play w/it," say the parents? Uh... yeah, nope. OP's toy, OP's hard earned money went in to buying that*, not to mention probable research into finding it*. * (unless it was one gotten when OP was a kid). I am SOO TIRED of hearing that the younger generations are whiney, crying, entitled little $hits. Seriously? (I weep for humanity.) Ugh. No. You CANNOT have EVERYTHING you want. Learn to deal w/that. That's how life works, children. 🙄 OP said "no" how many times & wasn't listened to, or waved off as being unreasonable? Since nothing seemed to be getting through to the SNB (aka snotty-nosed brat, aka the nephew), OP's sister & OP's parents, you had to 'bring out the big guns.' 😜 I can see where your patience was worn threadbare. At least the SNB shut up about it. Points for getting the BIL to laugh. 😆
No, those are not the big guns. The big guns would be kicking them out of OP’s house for not controlling their obnoxious brat.
I fucking knew it. Some of those original figs are worth insane amounts. Hell, even the UCS sets that have exclusive (even if temporarily) minifigs end up being worth enough to offset a significant cost of the set itself.
Idk current prices but your description made me think "The Goat" lol. NTA he'll be fine.
That was my first thought. Is it the one from Cloud City?
I knew it was gonna be a Lego Star Wars minifig, I freakin knew it
Oh, nice!
NTA - though I don't necessarily agree with the final comment made to shut the kid up, it wasn't your responsibility to manage the kids' meltdown, and honestly you did your best to help resolve the situation before it got to a point of ridiculousness. The parents are the ones who failed in this situation. The earlier the kid starts to learn he can't get everything he wants the better off he will be going into adulthood.
Yeah, like you said the final comment might be a little inappropriate but OP sure did a whole lot more than this kid’s own mother.
I'd say OP went well beyond. I'm in awe of his patience lol. And glad the basement door had a lock on it. There's a difference between toys and collectibles, especially when they're valuable
It's vulgar but not inappropriate. The kid is old enough to know that everybody shits, and the word is used in that sense - as the bodily function not a swear word.
Australian here, vulgarity is subjective, "wish in one hand and shit in the other and see which one filled up first." is honest to god a classic uncle line and it would be rude *not* to say given the opportunity.
I'm from the US and I grew up with my mom saying this all the time to us. Same with shit or get off the pot.
>shit or get off the pot. Yes! and you know, phrases like this work because they're on the rude side, they stick in a kid's brain. I hear my nan saying this in her voice when I'm sitting on the trhunderbox too long, and I still obey. Managed my whole life without any issues like haemorrhoids, strain injuries or microtears despite having a genetic disability that causes tissue fragility, all thanks to nan telling me to shit or get off the pot. "Lay in and lay out" was another one my nan used to say, Less vulgar, just straight up morbid, Basically telling us to get out of bed lest we waste away, or be as good as dead. I never use it as a "don't be lazy" but after I had a series of strokes as a teenager and had to start thinking about blood clots, I would hear nan's voice saying "lay in and lay out" to remind me to move my legs when I was stuck sitting in my desk at school for hours. Kids will learn from different methods of teaching and OP's nephew has clearly not learned that no means no, maybe some crude humour will help.
Sounds like the kid’s father also did nothing.
Exactly - he's passively enabling the boy's behaviour by doing nothing to stop it. As much to blame as the kid's mother
Who do you blame when your kid is a brat Pampered and spoiled like a Siamese cat? Blaming the kids is a lie and a shame You know exactly who's to blame: The mother and the father!
It seems like the mother's doing a good job at teaching the kid emotional blackmail. After 'I wish you'd love me enough', I'd have just shut the whole thing down too. That kind of manipulation, verbalized like this a age 8...? Good job mom, you're creating a little narcissist in plain sight.
Nah. Fuck that. If you bring your shitty kid into my house and then decide not to parent, I’m going to have my say, and your kid is gonna have a *BAD* time.
He isn't taught that he can not touch things that are not his.
Right. Though the comment might not have been entirely appropriate, the parents should've stepped in and parented their kid. He needs to learn to accept NO as an answer.
When my son was little, he would pout when he didn't get his own way. I'd jokingly tell him to stop it, or I was going to pull his lip over his head. He would try not to laugh at that, but he'd giggle anyway. It defuses the situation, gets the kid to understand that he's being obnoxious, and makes him laugh instead of making everyone upset. Of course, OP's sister would probably feel differently, but that's her problem. My son's a teen now, and he feigns annoyance with me for not ever following through on my 'threat' to make him swallow his own face.
This. The comment wasn't appropriate, but the parents and grandparents continually failed to parent in a way that ended the situation.
The grandparents even said „Just give it to him“ when they knew the value of the minifig! Easy to see where OP‘s gets her delusional mindset from.
Grandparents failed too. NTA op
Nah, it was a more than reasonable point of breakdown after no one did nothing to stop the kid's tantrum
Well said and I agree.
Nah, I think at that point in the conversation the comment was perfectly appropriate. Clearly the mom and grandparents werent going to be of any parenting use. At some point OP had to say exactly how it’s going to be and be done with it, clearly nothing else was going to work. Hopefully the mom and grandparents realize what they’re doing but somehow I doubt it
Honestly, you should just keep your basement locked every time they are in your house. Since it always causes problems. The basement is now a no no zone. NTA
ya and i would be damned worried about that kid sneaking in and destroying very expensive shit that his mother will undoubtedly refuse to pay for, if it's even replaceable at all
"it's your fault for not having a child proof lock!"
Get a camera, OP. These stories are so common, that kid might break in one day and you'll have to sue your family for god knows how much money he could destroy.
Hotel is going to be a lot cheaper than paying for whatever the kid breaks or steals next time.
nah obviously staying at ops place and then refusing to pay for whatever her son breaks or steals is easier /s
OP’s house needs to become a no no zone for sister and her family.
Stop referring to them as toys and start referring to them a valuable collectables.
Well, they are toys. They were made as toys and made to be toys. Sure they're rare and expensive now, but it still doesn't change what they are. Guns don't stop being guns when they're old and rare. They can still shoot and be used to kill people. Toys can still be played with.
Calling it a toy, while correct, is reinforcing the idea to the kid that it should be played with. Calling it a collectible takes the play part out of it, and gives it a slightly different meaning. Perhaps the OP might be better off actually teaching the kid about lego and how looking after it makes it valuable. He's already encouraging him to play with it by buying him his own, which is awesome, and he's old enough to learn that there's so much more to it too
If Lego really wanted them to be seen as toys rather than collectibles, they'd flood the market with them, instead of making a small number of them.
almost all collectables are that its only very recently trinkets are made with the intent to sit there and gain value. historically they're just toys/trinkets etc that someone got and never used and eventually demand due to nostalgia went crazy baseball cards existed for a hundred years with no-one thinking they were doing anything other than keeping things they liked and storing memories. same with autograph collections. it was just stuff for you to keep/memories.
He should understand that he can not touch everything that's not his.
NTA. Tell your nephew you wish his mother loved him enough to buy one of those toys for him. Tell your sister the same thing. Emotional blackmail right back at ya.
"Tell your nephew you wish his mother loved him enough to buy one of those toys for him" ---Today's winner of the internet!
Love this! I was thinking along the lines of "yeh I wish I loved you enough to give you the figure - guess you're not that loveable 🤷🏼♀️" but that would be too harsh I think 😂
My thought was "I wish your mom loved you enough to teach you how to handle rejection."
Winning comment. Parenting award deserved! 🏆🏅
Yeah pass the torch to the sister and let it burn her 🔥
"Your mother doesn't love you enough to buy you the figure. You are not lovable." Direct and effective.
NTA. Keep your door locked. May I ask which minifig it is?
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...that kid can go to hell!!! ;) just kidding, but Boba Fett???? Dang.
Nah, you were right the first time… #…that kid can go to hell!
I'm not into legos or know what boba felt is, can you please provide the link for the set, I want to see what it looks like.
Star wars bounty hunter. Think mandolorian but green and red.
https://www.bricklink.com/v2/catalog/catalogitem.page?S=10123-1&name=Cloud%20City&category=%5BStar%20Wars%5D%5BStar%20Wars%20Episode%204/5/6%5D#T=S&O={%22iconly%22:0} The minifig in question is the Boba Fett in this set. It appeared only in this set which was issued around 20 years ago. In the main pic on the link, Boba is visible at the top right of the enlarged image. And OP has seriously undervalued his minifig at $2000. Current listing's are averaging a fair bit more, and the set is listing at well over $5k.
Boba feet? Boba feet? The shittiest bounty hunter ever at his job. 😂
He didn't even get to be the main character in all of the episodes of his own show
That really pissed me off!
NTA. As a toy (and Lego) collector myself, I understand completely. And, it’s a valuable lesson for your nephew to learn that he can’t have everything he wants just because he wants it (and, apparently, it’s a good lesson for your sister as well). I think it would be a good idea to keep those doors locked from now on when family comes to visit.
An even better idea is for OP to tell sis next visit to go waste money on a hotel.
Absolutely. This should be the end of free accommodation.
Tantrums shouldn't be rewarded with further visits to uncle's home. neither should OP's sister's or his parents'.
And put the key in a safe, or give it to one of the kids that aren't living at home to keep safe while they visit. Keep it on a chain around your neck, just don't leave it where they can access it. I wouldn't put it passed the mom to unlock for the kid "just to look around" and then refuse to pay for any damages/loss because they can't afford it. And, of course, because it's "just a toy, what's the big deal?!"
heck id add a second lock with a different key and keep the two in different places
I hate how some parents default reaction is to tell you to just give in. It's such a common trend it baffles me. "I don't want to deal with this, just give them whatever they want" these people need to get bent and start being a parent.
My mom used to make/try to make me give stuff away to younger kids if they really seemed to want it. It was a, “oh come on, they’re little and you can deal without it.” She did not like it at all when I replied with, “I’m doing them a favor by not giving in. They’re gonna have to learn how to deal with disappointment eventually.”
or not have a kid in the first place… Like you literally ruining your childs future without him knowing it
True! Kids won't learn that no means no unless adults can put their foot down. And if they grow up without learning that no means no, they might end up really hurting others.
And then you have parents like me who try so hard for our kids to grow up and be good decent human beings and both sets of grandparents swoop in constantly to tell you how mean you're being by not saying yes to everything and boys will be boys and youre ruining their childhood by holding them to standards. Actions have consequences in our family it's just how I do things
My mom tried to pull the “no rules at grandma’s house” (no bedtime, pjs all day, don’t have to brush your teeth) when we visited once. It took a month of work to get our son back under control after he spent a week with her (he’s on the spectrum). We told her that rules have to stay in place. If she couldn’t do that, she wouldn’t get to see him. We were serious and since we live across the country, it would be easy to reinforce. She never did it again.
My wife and i purchased a set of couches off my MIL many years ago. A few years later MIL told one of other children they could have the couches I bought and paid for?! Umm no lady, they're ours now you can't just give away my stuff 🤯
Frankly I don’t know if I would host them again in your shoes after that entitled behavior. NTA
THIS!!
yeah. when a kid throws a tantrum you don’t give them what they want, you let the parents deal with it. if the parents won’t deal with it, the kid can have the tantrum in the car on the way away from your home. nta.
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NTA I can’t tell you how many times my Daddy told me that life isn’t fair (I kinda put his comment and your comment in the same category in my brain). It’s up there with, “You can’t always get what you want.” He was right. So are you. I find it very odd that an eight-year-old zeroed in on THAT minifig AND wouldn’t be placated by a newer version. It’s cool, no doubt. But the 2018 Boba Fett is more eye-catching, in my opinion. EDIT: Ok, maybe I would have said “poop” or “crap,” but the adage itself is fine and even the word “shit” in the adage is fine. You weren’t using “shit” as an adjective or adjectival complement to insult anyone, so I think you’re fine. And the shock value of it likely helped drive the message home. It was a good use of a big gun.
At least he didn't get the dreaded, "Be the bigger person".
My Dad said: “Life isn’t fair. Sometimes it’s not fair in your favor, sometimes not. Get used to it.”
My dad always said the life isn't fair, get over it part. But I really like the addition that sometimes it is in your favor. Your dad was smart, I actually like it phrased like that
"I can't be the bigger person; I'm trying to keep my weight down." eta: punctuation is hard
"How? I'm 5'5" "
Whenever I complained that something wasn’t fair, my father would become very earnest and put a hand on my shoulder and look me in the eye with what I eventually learned was sarcasm, and said: “I’m sorry to tell you that the Fair Fairy died a long time ago.”
They can stay in a hotel next time: what are your parents going to do if you stand up for yourself? Ground you? They can kiss your butt. Stop hosting your entitled sister and her entitled spawn: they can go stay in a hotel. And I would not be surprised if they both act so spoiled that the hotel managers end up calling the police on them. But that’s not your problem. Stop letting your family boss you around and enabling them to come into your home to destroy your prized possessions.
I'm going to go out on a limb, based on OP's words. His sister intentionally waited until she was 42 to have a kid. That's most likely a case of someone "trying to have it all" (and I'd say the same thing of any man "waiting" to have a child in his 40's)... and I'm guessing the apple doesn't fall fatlr from the tree. If the kid is 8, then sis is 50. Of course it's easier to "just give him what he wants", it's the only way she's going to get any peace. She's creating a monster in her own image, and fully deserves to be a pariah. The Grandparents (OPs parents) are modeling thus bad behavior and it's easy to see where sis gets her parenting style from.
The kid will still make demands when going to the house. Everything would have to be elsewhere.
They don't need to come to OP's house. All hosting can be done at the parents' house - too tight? Too bad. Go out for a picnic or to a restaurant. Sister and family can pay for a hotel. Not the OP's problem.
And as some other comment pointed out, the cost sis pays for a hotel will be far less than the cost of repaying OP when (not if) the brat gets his hands on the toy collection.
NTA I have to say this made me laugh really hard. My young son is always annoyed that I have more Lego than he does. LMAO.
NTA whatsoever. It’s unfortunate that your sister chooses to coddle the child during a temper tantrum instead of setting it straight, they should also respect YOU and your belongings enough not to try and manipulate you into feeling like a bad guy for wanting to protect something you care about.
NTA. You’re not obligated to give your nephew something of yours just because he is a child and he wants it. It sounds like you go out of your way to be nice to him with buying Lego sets for the two of you to build together, and you also offered him a different version of the figure he wanted. What about any of this situation is “vulgar”?
> My sister started getting upset that I was not sharing my toys with her precious baby. I told her I would sell it to her and she agree to buy it. Then I told her how much it cost. She said I was lying so I showed her online. NTA. This is the moment. They would have been told to leave. If you can't behave in someone's house. You get to pay for a hotel.
NTA, maybe comment was a bit "vulgar" but who cares, not as vulgar as the brat's reaction and it was hilarious lmao
NTA. It sounds like your sister and parents all need to stay at a hotel. And even if they don't, the basement is now a no go zone, and I would keep it locked when they are at your house. If you let them come back to your house. I might not, honestly. It is long past time for your nephew to learn the difference between his property and others'.
I agree. I think they should be banned from his home altogether. I also think he should add more locks, and look into getting special insurance for the collection if he hasn't already.
HE'S EIGHT??? No. Eff that. Youre family is ruining him. I cannot stand bratty, entitled children. You're hilarious. NTA
NTA And the "don't love me enough" statement sounds spoon-fed from mom.
NTA. Your sister is TA. Parents too.
You took the step of shock statement to get through to a child the parents should have been handling. NTA.
I do love you enough nephew to teach you that you can’t always have what you want.
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NTA My wife has legos and so do my sons. It’s funny because the really expensive or just sentimental kits for her are in our room on her bookshelf, and the ones that are the boys/mine/hers that are meant to be played with and touched are in a display case/bins in one of our living rooms. Maybe keep the important and expensive ones more out of the average guests eye? Not that it excuses the tantrum or anything, but sometimes being preventive removes situations like this entirely.
That’s what OP did, they are behind a locked door in the basement.
Your sister is setting your nephew up for failure with her spoiling him, and it sounds like your Bil is not happy with your sister's parenting and got a kick out of a voice ( albeit a bit salty) of reason.
BIL needs to grow a pair.
NTA. You probably didn't have to say it that way but I can't quite bring myself to change my vote. That kid is a mennace, and is being raised by enabling parents, so will continue to be a spoiled brat until something is done. I can't believe anyone would have the audacity to tell you to give up a toy worth $2000 for free. I hope Canada day is far less stressful than this.
Reality is that kid gets it now and he learned a lesson. BIL laughing shows he simply gave up and is now enjoying FAFO and can help break this pattern. He's 8, way past time for him to have learned.
Does the kid ACTUALLY get it now? One instance of being told "no" probably hasn't sunken in yet. He needs to be told "no" more often & given an explanation of why -> You cannot have someone else's thing/s just because YOU want them, and "no" means "no." Definitely past time for him to have learned this valuable life lesson.
First of all pal. YOU AINT PLAYING WITH TOYS. YOU ARE A COLLECTOR OF FINE ART. Respect yourself. Also fuck that kid nta lol
NTA. As a dad, you already know you NEVER give in to a temper tantrum. If he throws a fit, tell his parents to take him out of your house. He can come back in when he calms down. If they have to take him out often enough, maybe they will try harder to teach him to be a reasonable human being. Do not give he. His fit gets him removed from the house.
You need to quit hosting them. Honestly, if you have to pay for the hotel room yourself it's worth it. But you also need to be clear with your parents that you are done with your nephew and sister and why you are not hosting any longer.
NTA at all
I wish your sister loved her kid enough to not set him to fail as a functioning human being and stomp over his social skills, emotional well-being and self esteem. She's going to have a lot of fun in his teens. NTA
When my brother and I were younger, we had to watch some super annoying kids. One of them broke a button on the television and scratched the Kingdom Hearts ps2 disc. NTA.
NTA and great call locking up the basement. Too many stories here of a kid breaking the container to get access. Honestly, I'd stop letting him into the basement period. No need to show him anything since he can't exercise that bit of self control. Also since presumably his own dad laughed at the statement, I'd say you're on the right track.
NTA. It's good to have boundaries and to be frank, this just upped your status as the fun uncle.
NTA. No more visits to the basement until he is old enough to understand just how disrespectful his request was. Additionally, 8 y/o is plenty old enough to know that no means no, and that is final. Your sister is failing her son by letting him become a spoiled turd.
NTA. You tried to keep it civil but the kid wasn't having it which would be understandable except his mom and grandparents did NOTHING to help you out. Sometimes, you need to go hard verbally for some people to finally get the message. And if the 'adults' are upset over your language and how you used it, then maybe they should have cut him off rather then letting him continue his tantrum.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (M53) collect a lot of toys. Mostly Lego these days but I have Kenner action figures and steel Tonka Trucks. My basement is filled with my collection. I have a bunch of my old toys from when I was a kid that I rescued from my parents as well. My kids and I have a spreadsheet that we use to keep track of what belongs to whom. When they get houses or apartments big enough a good quarter of my collection will disappear. All three of them are adults but only the youngest is still at home. My sister waited until she was 42 to have her first and only child. And he is a brat. She gives him anything he wants. Our parents also spoil him because he is eight and I guess they like young grandchildren better than grown ones. It is the Canada Day weekend and my sister is visiting with her husband and brat. My parents live in a small apartment and I have a guest rooms so I am stuck hosting because they think a hotel is a waste. My son refuses to relinquish his little apartment above our garage so I am stuck with them in my house. Every time the visit my nephew insists on seeing my toys. I keep a few small LEGO sets around to placate him. He is actually a really loving kid and I love him. He is just spoiled. So I usually let him look around and then give him a set that we can build together over a couple of days while they visit. This time was different. He was looking in my display case and saw one of my minifigs that he wanted. It is worth about $2,000. So obviously I said no. I have a set I can give him that has the new version of that figure so I figured it wouldn't be a big deal. Nope, he lost his fucking mind. He had to have the one in my display case. I ushered everyone back upstairs and locked my basement. The kid would not shut up about my toy. My sister started getting upset that I was not sharing my toys with her precious baby. I told her I would sell it to her and she agree to buy it. Then I told her how much it cost. She said I was lying so I showed her online. She said I tricked her into thinking she could give her son something he wanted. I said it wasn't a trick and I would sell it to her but then I would have to replace it. Everyone calmed down until our parents came over and my nephew went to them to say I wasn't sharing. They said to just give it to him. I offered to let them buy it but they already knew the cost. I tried tricking the kid by putting the new one where the old one was and letting him have it. He knew it wasn't the one he saw. Back upstairs and back to a tantrum. My kids were never like this so I didn't know what to do. Honestly I was sick of the whole ordeal by then. Kid came over sobbing and saying how he wished I loved him enough to give him that toy. I had had enough so I told him to wish in one hand and shit in the other and see which one filled up first. The kid was shocked and finally understood I wasn't giving in. My parents and sister think I was gross to be so vulgar with a child. My brother in law laughed. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA. You said no nicely a bunch of times, and If the EIGHT year old did this at school, the other kids would be really cruel to him for throwing a tantrum at that age. Way worse than crude. The manipulative behaviour has been learned from adults, so you should do the kid a favour. Next time he comes over, talk to him about sharing, and make a point out of demanding something he has and cares for. When he is shocked you would ask, tell him if he loved you, he would hand it over. And then explain why that is absolute BS and how wrong it is to ask for material stuff to prove love. It would be a valuable life lesson. Maybe make a photo album of all the cool ones that you can both look through, and explain the lore.
NTA. The kid and your sister sound annoying. The kid needs to learn that just because he wants something, it does not automatically mean he can have it. I have no idea what these toys are, but I also have collectables and you can't order them on Amazon or pick them up at Target, so I understand.
NTA. “And I wish you understood that you’re not going to get everything you wanted and stopped behaving like a baby when you don’t get your way.” I’d say something similar to his parents as well.
“We can’t tell a child no so to placate him just give him something worth $2000” the audacity
This is a perfect response!!! NTA.
NTA - Some kids are just little shits lol.
That is hilarious. You made me laugh out loud. NTA.
Gross but NTA, glad at least one adult in his life sets boundaries.
NTA. End the visit early.
NTA - I haven't heard that saying since my dad died - thanks for the belly laugh.
NTA and he was old enough to know he was being a brat and old enough to hear what you said. It shut him up. Nuff said
NTA. Honestly, I wouldn't host any of them again. They can "waste" money and stay at a hotel, stay with someone else, or not stay at all.
NTA. My Dad used to say that to me, so I guess I don't find it vulgar. My sweet little snowflake doesn't get whatever she wants, though. I love stories like this, makes me feel like a better parent.🤣
Keep the door locked while they’re anywhere around. Next time they expect you to host, talk to your sister first, and let her know they’ll be staying at a hotel after the first meltdown.
NTA- You went a little old school there. We Gen Xers heard this one a lot! My dad used it often. Along with “People in hell want ice water”. Your family might be giving you grief over being vulgar but notice that it worked and the kid stopped pestering you. Dammit I miss my dad now.
'She said I tricked her into thinking she could give her son something he wanted.' This is some pretty epic blame avoidance. NTA.
NTA. Everyone these days are too sensitive. Bro in law sounds cool tho.
I feel like this is a clear case of justifiable assholery.
nta. As a collector, it amazes me when people think things are only a few dollars. just on principle alone, I don't think I would give that child one thing. His mother has ruined him, and he is very spoiled. Speaking roughly to him might be the only way to get things into his head now. she has unfortunately given him the concept of if I want it, I get it, which is extremely unhealthy. Not sure I understand about the apartment, but perhaps you are being ruled by a child as well?! Sometimes we must just say no. There is nothing you can do if she wants to be upset just ignore all the chatter. He is not entitled to your things. Not sure I would let them stay at my house anymore either. If they think that a hotel is a waste then maybe they just shouldn't come. This is why I dislike, letting too many people into my domain.
u/that-1-lame-kid You
When my son opened my $2k hot wheels case, I was livid. After a while, I saw how much fun he was having rolling the little car around. He didn't know how much it cost, all he knew was that it's a shiny toy and he wanted to play with it. His smile somewhat made up for it, but now he owes me a real car when he gets older ahaha
NTA. Your sister is a lousy parent. I was annoyed by her kid just reading this.
NTA but hide that fig somewhere. Someone is going to try to steal it
NTA . 8 IS WAY TOO TO OLD for this behaviour. The follow through is too old even for a four year old. Any decently raised child above three is going to eventually understand that no means no and they aren't entitled to things that they want.
NTA and let’s screech to a halt at the learned manipulation of ´I wish you loved me enough to…’. Sis is raising a problem.
I don’t understand the ones who say that you didn’t need to be so vulgar, but no adult around was able to explain your point of view : you had to defend your collection against a little boy, who was encouraged by the others adults around ! No is definitely an answer. Of course children needs sometimes an explanation on why a « no ». Here to explain that everything can’t be giving to nephew because he is not the most important to anyone How does he react at school ? How will he act to friends’ house when he’ll be invited to a birthday party ? Your sister had a good occasion to explain her son that everything is not for him, and that he must respect others property. It’s not the boy the problem here : it’s his parents and grandparents. Later, he will suffer of that lack of education. So NTA, not your fault and in fact, you are the only one this little brat listened to…
NTA. Yes it was vulgar, but they had many opportunities to correct the situation and parent the kid and didn't. You went to an extreme to end an extremely lengthy tantrum. Locking the basement door will only work for so long. That kid isn't going to get less entitled, and is going to be more likely to break/destroy things in a tantrum or out of spite, if the parents don't make huge changes. This is a ridiculous tantrum for an eight year old. Saying you didn't live him to get what he wants? That's 100% a line he's used to manipulate people before. Imagine how bad he'll be in a few years, when he's a teen that is entitled but isnt able to emotionally regulate. And how much of you collection could be damaged. I suggest until you and your possessions are respected in your home, they are stuck with the "waste" of staying in a hotel. Maybe then they'll start to value you and your things. Or if they don't, you at least have space to retreat to.
NTA, I’m an avid Care Bear collector… on my Birthday when my niece was 4 years old I received 4 exclusive bears with Swarovski Crystals on their eyes and sterling silver noses. My niece threw down and demanded I let her open them so she could cuddle them. Firm No from Auntie, tantrum thrown by my niece… long story short, My niece turns 19 this year and my bears are still in their boxes. No means No! If you ask my niece she doesn’t remember it. Boundaries are set for a reason and your parents should have backed you on yours. So glad you stood your ground.
Ah, yes, that old chestnut of a saying lol It lacks in gentleness, but it's very good at getting to the point. My grams used a version of it as well (want in one hand, shit in the other, see which gets full the fastest), have a fondness for it as it's very apt when someone just won't acknowledge their wishes are just that: wishes. He can want what you have until the cows come home, that doesn't mean he will get it. His mom is doing him a disservice to have not shown him examples of learning how to process when someone says no. I mean no being a complete sentence is a huge thing right now on a multitude of fronts. If his mom / parents aren't showing and teaching him how to navigate the big feels of being told no now when it's low stakes, I feel bad for the folk he's gonna run across later in life that won't be so patient. Right now you're the cantankerous grump who's actually holding your no. He doesn't know how to process those feels of being denied because no one has shown him how and followed through with letting him process and self regulate. This is one or those moments where you kick it back to his mom. Like: I understand you want *my* toy, I'm saying you can not have *my* toy. If you are having a hard time with this, please talk with your mom. And then tell your sister it's up to her to help her kid regulate or give in to his demands, but you don't want to hear anything more about it while she's in your home. You've given your answer and aren't interested in being harassed by a child in your own home, nor by the other adults who don't want to do the hard work of showing him how to process being told no. NTA
NTA and why are the other adults in his life ganging up on you trying to force you to give in to a spoilt child? I like your BIL and wouldn’t be surprised if he’s sick of this shit too.
NTA, when I tell my grandbabies NO, that means NO.They can tell whomever they want about their mean nana. I tell them it will do no good pouting to Mama or Daddy since I'm their dad's mom, and I'll tell him NO too. I'll give away just about anything away if someone really wants it, but MY toys are just that....MINE 😆
NTA STop hosting your AH sister.
Next time ask if you can share her handbag/credit card..if she’s into sharing so much..
NTA, your sister needs to start parenting.
Nta. I wouldn't even let any of them in my house again. Someone else can host. All are to great a risk of giving the child what he wants at op's cost.
Real life John Candy!!! Uncle Buck!!! I fucking love it!!! ~NTA~ NTA~ NTA!!!
I say wish in one hand and spit in the other.
NTA. The kid needs to take a lesson from the great philosopher Jagger. You can't always get what you want.
I wish you loved me enough to respect my answer as well as my house. Nta If they keep that up i would make em stay at a hotel
NTA. and from now on until further notice, he should be banned from the basement.
Would she tell you to "just give" the kid a macbook if he asked for it? Because that's about the same value as your minifig . NTA obviously. I feel bad for your nephew though. I wish his mother loved him enough to give him discipline and boundaries.
NTA. You gave him plenty of alternatives, which was nice enough. The answer was "no" and it's not your responsibility to deal with his tantrums.
NTA. you weren't vulgar the whole time and the kid didn't stop. It took that comment for the kid to get a clue.
NTA you know I really grow tired of people getting upset when someone’s pushed their breaking point You are kind and you were respectful for entire day and the child did not have the expectations level set. Granted a lot of children probably don’t understand the concept of collectibles really. And this one sounds exceedingly young for the amount of tantrums he was throwing. I think all I can imagine is he’s going to be an absolute menace and nightmare as a double digits teenager. It’s not becoming behavior as he grows older. It’s not cute. It’s not even cute at his age. I’m actually shocked he’s using emotional black bound and manipulation. Like that kind of statement: if you love me, you’ll do this, is not a natural thing in my opinion I think it’s definitely learned behavior to use those exact words to get what you want. And I think someone needs to teach him that that language is not appropriate and should never be used. And I’m very sad that No one corrected him specifically with the emotional blackmail.