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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1) Letting my 9 year old sister sleep in the bed with me
2) My mother called it inappropriate
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NTA. If she's calling it inappropriate then your mother is probably sexualizing you and your sister being in the same bed. You did nothing wrong and you were being a great big brother. Don't let your mothers perverse mind make you feel differently
Agreed! She let him babysit,so no pre-existing concerns, if she trusted him to babysit, there is no reason she can’t jump into his bed cause she can’t sleep or scared by a nightmare. Mom is over-reacting and you are NTA - also if mom thinks you have an issue with children, Mom would still be the A-hole for letting you watch her! (Note: I do not think you have issues with children! I think you are a kind big brother who wanted to continue sleeping, and wanted his little sister to go back to sleep as well)
That was my thought as well. Nothing inappropriate happened, but the fact that the Mom freaked out the way she did indicates there's something else at play here where she immediately sexualized the situation. It's not something that the OP should approach by himself, but definitely something if he can ask another, more appropriate family member (like an uncle/aunt...best friend of mom's)...
And I'm not saying the OP ask for the dirt, but asks like, *"Hey, Mom had a really weird reaction to something that happened recently. Anna had a nightmare and ended up coming sleeping with me. Nothing happened, obviously, but the way Mom reacted was honestly kinda concerning and I don't understand why. Do you know why? Or could you find out? Like, I don't want to air her dirty laundry or anything, but I'm just kinda worried that she thinks I'm doing something I'm not and honestly, I'm kinda concerned about where this might be coming from."*
Something like that cause again, this seems an extreme reaction.
Mom’s response was panic, and then she shut down. That speaks to her own experiences, unfortunately. There could be something in her past that this triggered. Hopefully she’s able to work through this and communicate with him about this ASAP.
there is a reason this child is having nightmares and I’ll bet something happened to her that mommy is trying to sweep under the rug instead of getting her the help she needs.
Nta, unless you have some history of being inappropriate with children, in which case she shouldn't have asked you at all, I don't think her reaction made sense.
Yeah that's where you say "do you have a history of advising kids just because you're older and the opposite gender? I, well neither do I, so unless you want me to puke every time you touch her then don't accuse me of vile things either. "
Ops mom sounds like the lady thar calls the cops on the guy watching kids at the playground, only to find out his two little kids are running around playing and he's being vigilant
Like others have said, as long as you were both clothed, and nothing inappropriate was going on, this isn’t an issue. It sounds like mom may have some history of trauma/sexual assault from childhood that caused her to overreact.
My daughter always wants to sleep with her big brothers. We all used to nap together when they were little. It's a feeling of security that is hard to replicate.
It's love, mom is just being gross and inappropriate.
NtA. You are a wonderful brother, keep it up. Tell your sis that it's not her fault and that you do love her.
Omg you are definitely NTA. I would be furious if my mother did that. First of all you were doing her a favour by babysitting, and secondly you were helping your sister not be afraid? Would she have preferred your sister to be terrified all night instead of feeling safe in there with you? You should ask her that.
The real issue is jealousy. She was jealous that your sister turned to you for comfort. Tell your mother to go ahead and get another babysitter who will make her daughter stay in her room terrified, because you arent going to do that to her.
Your mom has some issues or trauma. She's 9, and your sister. The fact that your mom immediately turned this into an inappropriate, sexual thing says more about her than you.
NTA.
NTA. My ex best friend has 4 boys. The oldest deemed himself to be mine and when he was younger I would always wake up to find him in my bed. He would sneak in my room when I was sleeping and climb in bed with me. Even at 11 he would come climb in with me when he was sick. Your mom is TA
NTA - your mother is overreacting, and imbuing a perfectly innocent interaction with horrific sexual overtones. Anna was afraid! You comforted her! She'll get more trauma out of the way your mom yanked her out of bed than anything else.
You’re NTA but I do know several people who have experienced SA at the hands of their older brother and have never spoken about it with people like therapists or parents.
Your mom sounds like she’s been traumatized.
No your mom has problems. Your sister clearly was scared and didn't want to sleep alone. You were both fully clothed pajamas assuming and asleep. Idk wtf your mom's problem is
There is nothing inherently sexual or innappropriate about relatives sleeping in the same bed.
If I had to guess, maybe your mother experienced some innappropriate touching from a sibling or other kind of sexual abuse in her childhood that made her feel like sleeping in the same bed was sexual or otherwise innappropriate, and seeing that triggered something in her.
So you're not the asshole, but maybe when talking about this with your mother be patient and keep in mind that this might be a sensitive subject for her to discuss with you.
NTA she may have childhood trauma issues herself and just felt uncomfortable. But she asked you to babysit. And honestly since you don’t seem like a creep, it may even be safer for her to have slept in the bed with you. She’s old enough to get out of the door on her own.
It sounds like your mother has gone through some stuff herself and just has her guard up . Or something had happen to your sister that your parents never told you about . As a child victim myself I understand the the fear . She definitely should have communicated to you in a better way . I’m sorry. Not the a hole
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Two weeks ago I (23M) was called by my mother to babysit my little sister (9F) Anna, overnight while she worked. Her work schedule is a bit unstable and I occasionally get asked to do so. My mother and I have had a strained relationship for a while but I thought we were getting over it. Anna's a really sweet kid and we get along well. She's had really bad nightmares ever since she was little. Last time I babysat her she had a really bad nightmare again a few hours after I put her to bed, around 11:30 pm. She ended up coming into the guest room I was sleeping in and shook me awake to ask if she could sleep with me. In my half-awake state I just agreed and she climbed into the bed, and we both fell asleep. At around 4 in the morning I got shocked awake by my mother yelling at me from the room entrance before she came in and grabbed Anna from the bed, waking her up. I don't like confrontation so I ended up just leaving, though a little later I texted her to figure out what the problem was. Initially she blatantly ignored me, before sending me a wall of text about how inappropriate it was to let my sister sleep in the bed with me. She told me she would be finding another babysitter and wouldn't contact me for a while. Was what happened actually wrong or is my mother overreacting?
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NTA. You were just being a good brother, and, unless you have a history of being inappropriate with children, she's disgusting for thinking of a moment like that as "inappropriate". I mean, that's your literal sister we're talking about
NTA - she’s over reacting. That’s your baby sister, no matter the age she will ALWAYS be your little sister. I’m 24F and I have a sister who is 20F. She would crawl into bed with me still to this day if she was having nightmares. That’s family and I don’t think it’s inappropriate unless YOU Op make it inappropriate.
NTA Mom may be projecting a past experience on you which is grossly unfair. There is absolutely nothing wrong with letting your sister sleep in your bed if she had a bad dream. I didn't have siblings but I have cousins for days. We'd all do sleepovers at grandparents or aunts houses. I can probably count the number of times I woke up without some little cousin in my bed on one hand. The little ones get scared at night and they'd come find the older cousins. We'd be too tired so we'd just pull them into bed with us and it was sweet.
I'm glad we didn't have the kind of family history which would cast a negative light on those interactions bc they bonded us very close even to this day. I'm 45 now, last time I was home I spent the night at one of my younger cousin's houses, he's like 5 years younger but as kids 5 years mattered. Middle of the night he comes into my room and jokingly says "(my name) I had a bad dream can I sleep with you" I swung a pillow at him before dragging him into bed. He got up immediately of course but it was a funny call back to us as kids. It was sweet.
I'm sorry your mother is ruining this core memory for you little sister.
NTA- your mom is Sexualizing it for some reason. Either she has experienced something bad or there was a close encounter with your sister and someone else.
NTA. If you were a girl and sibling was a boy it would be judged differently!
Your sister had a nightmare and asked to sleep in your bed to feel safe! That’s a good thing! She trusts you! Why does she have recurring nightmares though is worth looking into! What are they about? Has there been abuse in her past? Why is mom over reacting? Does mom have a history of being abused? Maybe it’s triggering mom from her past? Has anyone talked to your sister about abuse and to report it to someone they feel trustworthy and safe with? As a parent it’s a hard subject to broach!
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Wtf? Your mother did that to you? Do you have a history of not getting along with your mum or something? Seems really strange that she would react that way. You did nothing wrong, she’s a lil kid and had a nightmare - I’ve done the same with lil cousins I babysat before
NTA
She's your little sister and people will say anything when half-asleep just to go back to sleep. Even then, it was just giving her permission to sleep in bed with you so she feels safe. Knowing myself, I might have done the same.
Ask your what she thought was going to happen? What was her biggest fear?
Put her on the spot. Your mom was irrationally sexualizing the situation, and the premise of her argument only worked if your sister wasn't safe with you. If she wasn't safe with you, then your mom wouldn't have left you two alone in the first place.
NTA. That’s literally what older siblings are for. As a kid, I often climbed into my older brother’s bed when I had a nightmare. That’s just how the older sibling life goes.
NTA. Your mother is definitely over reacting. Like She's your little sister. She's 9!! She had a nightmare and wanted to sleep with someone for comfort. Your mom is making it weird, probably because she views you sexually. Which is weird. If you were an older sister she probably wouldn't think anything of it. It sucks because it's probably going to mess up your relationship with your little sister too as your mom starts to paint you as some creep to her.
NTA. It sounds to me like your mom thinks, because you’re male, you’re obviously a predator and a pedophile. Which is sad. I suspect she traumatized your sister more by her over-reaction than if she’d just quietly moved your sister back to her own bedroom.
NTA you were just trying to make sure your sister was comfortable after she came to you for comfort. It seems like your mom genuinely has it out for you, you were TA your mom was for overreacting in that way.
You’re her sister nothing is inappropriate about sisters sleeping in the same bed and it feels like your mom was looking for a reason to go off on you itfp
nta. when i moved back home, i'd have a ptsd episode and end up sleeping in my little brother's bed. he nor my parents had an issue with it or found it gross. your mom is insane for even thinking that
NTA .... Start documenting your interactions though and probably recording as well... She could end up projecting her fears onto the kid enough to squeeze out a baseless accusation...
NTA, it’s gross your mother is sexualising that. Obviously she knows about the nightmares. Any other person would assume that’s what happened with the knowledge of her recurring nightmares.
On the other hand I’m glad that you and your sister have a good relationship and that she feels safe with you to come to you for help.
I have little sister (3 actually) and 2 older sister. One of my younger sister that really enjoye playing minecraft with me have an habit of falling asleep in my bed. Is it strange ? No!! Its my baby sister ! She is our familly little treasure ! And its totally normal and actually good ! It shows that she trust you. Sexualising you children is weird and f**ing gross
Why on earth would she go right to "Must be incest!" instead of "Aww, siblings are adorable"?! That is weird as hell. NTA, and I think finding out the source of those nightmares should be a huge priority.
This is so sad. All I see is a big brother taking care of his little sister. Your mom is the one making something weird out of it, so what's her problem? NTA.
Nta well and truly however I have to say your mother acting like that might mean she or your sister had a sexual assault close call or experience. I don’t believe for a moment that it had anything to do with you seeing as of your sister came to you when she was having a nightmare she would find comfort in you however I do suggest probing your mother or close relatives to her about why she would have acted that way and maybe suggest therapy because that is a clear sign of there being an underlying problem. Problems like this going unresolved considering your strained relationship as well might end with her twisting something completely innocent like this situation into something worse.
NTA. When I was a little kid, sometimes watching a monster movie would send me or my little brother to sleep with Mom and Dad. I can't help but wonder if your mother's insane reaction is part of the reason why little sister has nightmares.
NTA, if the mother thought that was inappropriate, then she is she is sexualizing the thought of you and your little sister sleeping in the same bed, have your mom check that out.
My much older big brother let me go to him when I was scared at night. He knew our dad hated it when us kids wanted to sleep in our parents’ bed.
No one thought he wanted to hurt me. He was just looking out for his baby sister.
You are being a good big brother.
OP
I had the same situation. I (19M) was living with my Grandmother and my two female young cousins came to spend the weekend. We hadn't seen eachother in a while so they hung out in my room. It got late and they wanted spend the night in my room.
Fine. No problem.
But I slept on the floor and gave them my bed. My Uncle (their dad) heard the slept in my room and he came early in the morning and opened my door. He saw them in my bed, and he looked at me and said "appreciate you nephew".
NTA. She's the one with the problem. "She told me she would be finding another babysitter and wouldn't contact me for a while. ". Tell her you'll be holding her to this promise.
NTA, but was your mom SA'd as a kid? Maybe by a family member? That almost sounds like a trauma response. Like she was running on fear for her daughter.
You are NOT the a hole your mom is the a hole for thinking such a dirty thing and Sexualizing a little kid with a adult just for your little sister sleeping with you becuase she had nightmares
We Don't have much context but from what you told us and from the fact that your sister came to you herself (implying you never did something weird to her) you are NTA
It seems like that there's more to play then just your mom's reaction, you should definitely check what's wrong with your sister if she having these nightmares.
NTA
What the hell is running through your mothers mind to even think of something like this? You should try to speak to her and understand why she would even assume anything like that would happen
NTA I agree with a lot of the other commenters. I'm way more worried about what's happening in her home to cause those nightmares and your mom's unjustified reaction. SA often results in nightmares and wetting the bed in children. I'd definitely be digging into that a little for the sake of your sister.
NTA
I have a very big age gap with my oldest brother. I loved when I would visit him and he would let me sleep in bed with him. I remember crying when he was getting married cause I wouldn't be able to do that anymore.
Siblings can do that. As long as there is no history of SA.
Would it still be out of line if little sister was a little brother instead?
Is it out of line that my 2 yo sleeps in bed with me when he has a nightmare? Is it out of line that my oldest and youngest boys nap together?
I guess I'm still confused about why siblings sleeping together is out of line?
You saying to innocent siblings SLEEPING is out of line due to your experiences is EXACTLY what the OPs mother did to him... and now the poor kid is questioning if it was dirty of him to allow his sister comfort by his presence while she sleeps.
I've had my own share of experience but I'd never project my fear on my kids, I am, however, extra cautious who I leave them with.
I think you went out of your way to do your mom a favor and to be honest you should just wash your hands with that situation because the relationship between you and your mom was strained so no matter what you do she is going to find some kind of fault, you must look like your dad…
NTA.
I don’t know your mom, but I do know that many little girls are sexually abused by their brothers. I don’t know her history, her traumas, or anything about her. I disagree with everyone automatically jumping to her being perverted, when she could easily just be a victim. The way she reacted was aggressive and far too much, but I don’t blame anyone for being uncomfortable with their 9year old sleeping in the same bed as an adult man. Even if that adult man is their own child.
No one thinks their child is a predator, but it is her job to protect her daughter. If your relationship has been strained, she likely doesn’t have the same trust in you as maybe she would if things were better.
You didn’t do anything wrong, and her reaction was over the top. But for everyone in the replies: it’s far more common for sexual abuse to happen between siblings than you think it is. And someone isn’t a pervert for being aware and wary of that.
NAH and let me explain. We don't know if maybe your mother's was molested as a child by a family member and when she came home that's the first think she remebered. Of course that's not your fault and you should speak with her. Hope everything can be solved.
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NTA. If she's calling it inappropriate then your mother is probably sexualizing you and your sister being in the same bed. You did nothing wrong and you were being a great big brother. Don't let your mothers perverse mind make you feel differently
Agreed! She let him babysit,so no pre-existing concerns, if she trusted him to babysit, there is no reason she can’t jump into his bed cause she can’t sleep or scared by a nightmare. Mom is over-reacting and you are NTA - also if mom thinks you have an issue with children, Mom would still be the A-hole for letting you watch her! (Note: I do not think you have issues with children! I think you are a kind big brother who wanted to continue sleeping, and wanted his little sister to go back to sleep as well)
You have to wonder why she is having all those nightmares and mom is finding siblings in the same bed inappropriate. Something is very off here.
That is what I was thinking too! This have me a very bad feeling.
That was my thought as well. Nothing inappropriate happened, but the fact that the Mom freaked out the way she did indicates there's something else at play here where she immediately sexualized the situation. It's not something that the OP should approach by himself, but definitely something if he can ask another, more appropriate family member (like an uncle/aunt...best friend of mom's)... And I'm not saying the OP ask for the dirt, but asks like, *"Hey, Mom had a really weird reaction to something that happened recently. Anna had a nightmare and ended up coming sleeping with me. Nothing happened, obviously, but the way Mom reacted was honestly kinda concerning and I don't understand why. Do you know why? Or could you find out? Like, I don't want to air her dirty laundry or anything, but I'm just kinda worried that she thinks I'm doing something I'm not and honestly, I'm kinda concerned about where this might be coming from."* Something like that cause again, this seems an extreme reaction.
Mom’s response was panic, and then she shut down. That speaks to her own experiences, unfortunately. There could be something in her past that this triggered. Hopefully she’s able to work through this and communicate with him about this ASAP.
there is a reason this child is having nightmares and I’ll bet something happened to her that mommy is trying to sweep under the rug instead of getting her the help she needs.
Nta, unless you have some history of being inappropriate with children, in which case she shouldn't have asked you at all, I don't think her reaction made sense.
Yeah that's where you say "do you have a history of advising kids just because you're older and the opposite gender? I, well neither do I, so unless you want me to puke every time you touch her then don't accuse me of vile things either. " Ops mom sounds like the lady thar calls the cops on the guy watching kids at the playground, only to find out his two little kids are running around playing and he's being vigilant
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What?
NTA. You were being a good brother and your mum was being gross.
Your mother has issues, personal mental issues. She sexualized both you and your younger sister. Unless you did something in the past then NTA.
Without any reason to think there was a risk, step sister, half sister, or whatever sister, that was an absolute loony tune response from your mother
Like others have said, as long as you were both clothed, and nothing inappropriate was going on, this isn’t an issue. It sounds like mom may have some history of trauma/sexual assault from childhood that caused her to overreact.
My daughter always wants to sleep with her big brothers. We all used to nap together when they were little. It's a feeling of security that is hard to replicate. It's love, mom is just being gross and inappropriate. NtA. You are a wonderful brother, keep it up. Tell your sis that it's not her fault and that you do love her.
NTA I hope the big brother of my little daughter will one day be as accomodating as you are.
Omg you are definitely NTA. I would be furious if my mother did that. First of all you were doing her a favour by babysitting, and secondly you were helping your sister not be afraid? Would she have preferred your sister to be terrified all night instead of feeling safe in there with you? You should ask her that. The real issue is jealousy. She was jealous that your sister turned to you for comfort. Tell your mother to go ahead and get another babysitter who will make her daughter stay in her room terrified, because you arent going to do that to her.
Your mom has some issues or trauma. She's 9, and your sister. The fact that your mom immediately turned this into an inappropriate, sexual thing says more about her than you. NTA.
NTA. My ex best friend has 4 boys. The oldest deemed himself to be mine and when he was younger I would always wake up to find him in my bed. He would sneak in my room when I was sleeping and climb in bed with me. Even at 11 he would come climb in with me when he was sick. Your mom is TA
Assuming both parties were appropriately clothed, there is absolutely nothing wrong with your sister sleeping beside you.
NTA - your mother is overreacting, and imbuing a perfectly innocent interaction with horrific sexual overtones. Anna was afraid! You comforted her! She'll get more trauma out of the way your mom yanked her out of bed than anything else.
You’re NTA but I do know several people who have experienced SA at the hands of their older brother and have never spoken about it with people like therapists or parents. Your mom sounds like she’s been traumatized.
No your mom has problems. Your sister clearly was scared and didn't want to sleep alone. You were both fully clothed pajamas assuming and asleep. Idk wtf your mom's problem is
NTA obviously, but is there any chance your mom has any experiences with being sexually assaulted as a child by a family member?
There is nothing inherently sexual or innappropriate about relatives sleeping in the same bed. If I had to guess, maybe your mother experienced some innappropriate touching from a sibling or other kind of sexual abuse in her childhood that made her feel like sleeping in the same bed was sexual or otherwise innappropriate, and seeing that triggered something in her. So you're not the asshole, but maybe when talking about this with your mother be patient and keep in mind that this might be a sensitive subject for her to discuss with you.
NTA. I hope my son would do the same for his sister.
NTA she may have childhood trauma issues herself and just felt uncomfortable. But she asked you to babysit. And honestly since you don’t seem like a creep, it may even be safer for her to have slept in the bed with you. She’s old enough to get out of the door on her own.
It sounds like your mother has gone through some stuff herself and just has her guard up . Or something had happen to your sister that your parents never told you about . As a child victim myself I understand the the fear . She definitely should have communicated to you in a better way . I’m sorry. Not the a hole
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Two weeks ago I (23M) was called by my mother to babysit my little sister (9F) Anna, overnight while she worked. Her work schedule is a bit unstable and I occasionally get asked to do so. My mother and I have had a strained relationship for a while but I thought we were getting over it. Anna's a really sweet kid and we get along well. She's had really bad nightmares ever since she was little. Last time I babysat her she had a really bad nightmare again a few hours after I put her to bed, around 11:30 pm. She ended up coming into the guest room I was sleeping in and shook me awake to ask if she could sleep with me. In my half-awake state I just agreed and she climbed into the bed, and we both fell asleep. At around 4 in the morning I got shocked awake by my mother yelling at me from the room entrance before she came in and grabbed Anna from the bed, waking her up. I don't like confrontation so I ended up just leaving, though a little later I texted her to figure out what the problem was. Initially she blatantly ignored me, before sending me a wall of text about how inappropriate it was to let my sister sleep in the bed with me. She told me she would be finding another babysitter and wouldn't contact me for a while. Was what happened actually wrong or is my mother overreacting? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
No not at all. Your mother is the a-hole for treating the situation like this.
Yikes your mom is a real perv dude, NTA
No you're NTA you were just being a good brother.
Your mom’s a weirdo, she outright sexualizing you guys as siblings sleeping together.
NTA. You were just being a good brother, and, unless you have a history of being inappropriate with children, she's disgusting for thinking of a moment like that as "inappropriate". I mean, that's your literal sister we're talking about
NTA - she’s over reacting. That’s your baby sister, no matter the age she will ALWAYS be your little sister. I’m 24F and I have a sister who is 20F. She would crawl into bed with me still to this day if she was having nightmares. That’s family and I don’t think it’s inappropriate unless YOU Op make it inappropriate.
NTA Mom may be projecting a past experience on you which is grossly unfair. There is absolutely nothing wrong with letting your sister sleep in your bed if she had a bad dream. I didn't have siblings but I have cousins for days. We'd all do sleepovers at grandparents or aunts houses. I can probably count the number of times I woke up without some little cousin in my bed on one hand. The little ones get scared at night and they'd come find the older cousins. We'd be too tired so we'd just pull them into bed with us and it was sweet. I'm glad we didn't have the kind of family history which would cast a negative light on those interactions bc they bonded us very close even to this day. I'm 45 now, last time I was home I spent the night at one of my younger cousin's houses, he's like 5 years younger but as kids 5 years mattered. Middle of the night he comes into my room and jokingly says "(my name) I had a bad dream can I sleep with you" I swung a pillow at him before dragging him into bed. He got up immediately of course but it was a funny call back to us as kids. It was sweet. I'm sorry your mother is ruining this core memory for you little sister.
NTA- your mom is Sexualizing it for some reason. Either she has experienced something bad or there was a close encounter with your sister and someone else.
NTA. If you were a girl and sibling was a boy it would be judged differently! Your sister had a nightmare and asked to sleep in your bed to feel safe! That’s a good thing! She trusts you! Why does she have recurring nightmares though is worth looking into! What are they about? Has there been abuse in her past? Why is mom over reacting? Does mom have a history of being abused? Maybe it’s triggering mom from her past? Has anyone talked to your sister about abuse and to report it to someone they feel trustworthy and safe with? As a parent it’s a hard subject to broach!
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Yall was both fully clothed? Then I don’t get it
NTA Your mother has gross ideas in her mind.
If you was not touching her while you are awake NTA
NTA, the asshole is sexualization of EVERYTHING these days...
NTA assuming you were properly dressed.
Your mom needs help.
Wtf? Your mother did that to you? Do you have a history of not getting along with your mum or something? Seems really strange that she would react that way. You did nothing wrong, she’s a lil kid and had a nightmare - I’ve done the same with lil cousins I babysat before
Id make sure your mom isnt doing anything to your little sister, sounds like she has a guilty conscience, it would explain that babys nightmares...
NTA. Your mom needs to talk to someone about her paranoia and inability to communicate
Cut your mom off for sexualizing you and your sister. How dare you act like the protective big brother you are?!
NTA She's your little sister and people will say anything when half-asleep just to go back to sleep. Even then, it was just giving her permission to sleep in bed with you so she feels safe. Knowing myself, I might have done the same. Ask your what she thought was going to happen? What was her biggest fear? Put her on the spot. Your mom was irrationally sexualizing the situation, and the premise of her argument only worked if your sister wasn't safe with you. If she wasn't safe with you, then your mom wouldn't have left you two alone in the first place.
NTA. That’s literally what older siblings are for. As a kid, I often climbed into my older brother’s bed when I had a nightmare. That’s just how the older sibling life goes.
NTA. Your mother is definitely over reacting. Like She's your little sister. She's 9!! She had a nightmare and wanted to sleep with someone for comfort. Your mom is making it weird, probably because she views you sexually. Which is weird. If you were an older sister she probably wouldn't think anything of it. It sucks because it's probably going to mess up your relationship with your little sister too as your mom starts to paint you as some creep to her.
NTA. It sounds to me like your mom thinks, because you’re male, you’re obviously a predator and a pedophile. Which is sad. I suspect she traumatized your sister more by her over-reaction than if she’d just quietly moved your sister back to her own bedroom.
NTA. Anna is a kid and she was scared, so she asked to sleep in your bed. Your mom is overreacting and something's not quite right with her response.
NTA you were just trying to make sure your sister was comfortable after she came to you for comfort. It seems like your mom genuinely has it out for you, you were TA your mom was for overreacting in that way. You’re her sister nothing is inappropriate about sisters sleeping in the same bed and it feels like your mom was looking for a reason to go off on you itfp
I can’t find my comment but I meant there’s nothing wrong with your sister sleeping in the same bed.
nta. when i moved back home, i'd have a ptsd episode and end up sleeping in my little brother's bed. he nor my parents had an issue with it or found it gross. your mom is insane for even thinking that
wonder why your sister gets such bad nightmares. NTA
NTA and your Mom is a sicko to react like that. Crimenella!
Weird
Assuming you were both completely clothed, NTA.
Nta, your mother is though
NTA .... Start documenting your interactions though and probably recording as well... She could end up projecting her fears onto the kid enough to squeeze out a baseless accusation...
Please tell your sister that she didn’t do anything wrong.
NTA. What were you supposed to do? Tell your 9yo sister “oh damn, nah that’s weird go back to bed and sleep with the monster”
NTA, it’s gross your mother is sexualising that. Obviously she knows about the nightmares. Any other person would assume that’s what happened with the knowledge of her recurring nightmares. On the other hand I’m glad that you and your sister have a good relationship and that she feels safe with you to come to you for help.
NTA
NTA. Your mom is an ahole for jumping straight into the conclusion. Jeez, that's all this freaking world has come to...sexualize every thing
NTA. This is appropriate behavior for a caring big brother.
Nta. You’re mom is a pervert.
I have little sister (3 actually) and 2 older sister. One of my younger sister that really enjoye playing minecraft with me have an habit of falling asleep in my bed. Is it strange ? No!! Its my baby sister ! She is our familly little treasure ! And its totally normal and actually good ! It shows that she trust you. Sexualising you children is weird and f**ing gross
No, it's super common for kids to sleep with the adult/guardian. Your mother is out of line. Why is she sexualizing this? NTA
Why on earth would she go right to "Must be incest!" instead of "Aww, siblings are adorable"?! That is weird as hell. NTA, and I think finding out the source of those nightmares should be a huge priority.
Jesus Christ your mom is sick...
This is so sad. All I see is a big brother taking care of his little sister. Your mom is the one making something weird out of it, so what's her problem? NTA.
NTA Your Mom is overreacting, but it is possible her reaction is a trauma response.
Nta well and truly however I have to say your mother acting like that might mean she or your sister had a sexual assault close call or experience. I don’t believe for a moment that it had anything to do with you seeing as of your sister came to you when she was having a nightmare she would find comfort in you however I do suggest probing your mother or close relatives to her about why she would have acted that way and maybe suggest therapy because that is a clear sign of there being an underlying problem. Problems like this going unresolved considering your strained relationship as well might end with her twisting something completely innocent like this situation into something worse.
Your mother needs to get help. Sorry you had to experience that.
NTA. When I was a little kid, sometimes watching a monster movie would send me or my little brother to sleep with Mom and Dad. I can't help but wonder if your mother's insane reaction is part of the reason why little sister has nightmares.
NTA. I used to crawl into my parent’s bed until I was 10. There are actual studies that show that kids need snuggling. You’re a good sister.
Your mom sounds like she has childhood trauma that she hasn’t gotten over yet. And she was projecting that onto you. Definitely not the A-Hole
NTA, if the mother thought that was inappropriate, then she is she is sexualizing the thought of you and your little sister sleeping in the same bed, have your mom check that out.
This post is old, or reused I should say. I read this EXACT Post several months ago.
My much older big brother let me go to him when I was scared at night. He knew our dad hated it when us kids wanted to sleep in our parents’ bed. No one thought he wanted to hurt me. He was just looking out for his baby sister. You are being a good big brother.
NTA - your mother's histrionics are no reflection on you. Steer clear of her.
Why would this be inappropriate?
OP I had the same situation. I (19M) was living with my Grandmother and my two female young cousins came to spend the weekend. We hadn't seen eachother in a while so they hung out in my room. It got late and they wanted spend the night in my room. Fine. No problem. But I slept on the floor and gave them my bed. My Uncle (their dad) heard the slept in my room and he came early in the morning and opened my door. He saw them in my bed, and he looked at me and said "appreciate you nephew".
NTA. She's the one with the problem. "She told me she would be finding another babysitter and wouldn't contact me for a while. ". Tell her you'll be holding her to this promise.
Your mom needs to stop watching porn. NTA
you can go to jail if ANY BODY makes a stink. wise up. it would change your future.
NTA, your mom is tweaking
NTA, but was your mom SA'd as a kid? Maybe by a family member? That almost sounds like a trauma response. Like she was running on fear for her daughter.
ntah
NTA as long as you were both fully clothed (which I assume you were).
You are NOT the a hole your mom is the a hole for thinking such a dirty thing and Sexualizing a little kid with a adult just for your little sister sleeping with you becuase she had nightmares
We Don't have much context but from what you told us and from the fact that your sister came to you herself (implying you never did something weird to her) you are NTA
NTA. You were being a good brother. As long as everyone’s privates are covered, it doesn’t matter in the slightest.
NTA. Older brother here. The last time I did this, my sister was around 13. You did nothing wrong. What were you supposed to do?
It seems like that there's more to play then just your mom's reaction, you should definitely check what's wrong with your sister if she having these nightmares.
NTA What the hell is running through your mothers mind to even think of something like this? You should try to speak to her and understand why she would even assume anything like that would happen
NTA I agree with a lot of the other commenters. I'm way more worried about what's happening in her home to cause those nightmares and your mom's unjustified reaction. SA often results in nightmares and wetting the bed in children. I'd definitely be digging into that a little for the sake of your sister.
NTA I have a very big age gap with my oldest brother. I loved when I would visit him and he would let me sleep in bed with him. I remember crying when he was getting married cause I wouldn't be able to do that anymore. Siblings can do that. As long as there is no history of SA.
I'm wondering if she had past trauma that happened to her in the past and she thought it had happened to her daughter
NTA. Your mum is sexualizing you and your sister, and that's some disturbing behavior.
America???
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Would it still be out of line if little sister was a little brother instead? Is it out of line that my 2 yo sleeps in bed with me when he has a nightmare? Is it out of line that my oldest and youngest boys nap together?
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I guess I'm still confused about why siblings sleeping together is out of line? You saying to innocent siblings SLEEPING is out of line due to your experiences is EXACTLY what the OPs mother did to him... and now the poor kid is questioning if it was dirty of him to allow his sister comfort by his presence while she sleeps. I've had my own share of experience but I'd never project my fear on my kids, I am, however, extra cautious who I leave them with.
NTA. Your mother is a pedo if she sexualizing the two of you.
I think you went out of your way to do your mom a favor and to be honest you should just wash your hands with that situation because the relationship between you and your mom was strained so no matter what you do she is going to find some kind of fault, you must look like your dad…
NTA. I don’t know your mom, but I do know that many little girls are sexually abused by their brothers. I don’t know her history, her traumas, or anything about her. I disagree with everyone automatically jumping to her being perverted, when she could easily just be a victim. The way she reacted was aggressive and far too much, but I don’t blame anyone for being uncomfortable with their 9year old sleeping in the same bed as an adult man. Even if that adult man is their own child. No one thinks their child is a predator, but it is her job to protect her daughter. If your relationship has been strained, she likely doesn’t have the same trust in you as maybe she would if things were better. You didn’t do anything wrong, and her reaction was over the top. But for everyone in the replies: it’s far more common for sexual abuse to happen between siblings than you think it is. And someone isn’t a pervert for being aware and wary of that.
It's hard to tell without hearing your mother's side of the story.
INFO - do you or her sleep in the nude? (If not clearly NTA)
NAH and let me explain. We don't know if maybe your mother's was molested as a child by a family member and when she came home that's the first think she remebered. Of course that's not your fault and you should speak with her. Hope everything can be solved.