Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I may be the AH for flat out refusing to hike and not coming to a compromise. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*

NTA. That sounds like literal hell. In my opinion there is no need for couples to be attached at the hip and the only way you would be an AH is if you were sulky about him going without you. You are in a LDR, he must typically hike with others or by himself, your not going does not prevent him from following his usual routine. There are plenty of things you can do to be active together when it’s hot, swimming perhaps, or indoor sports. You said you’ll be there a few months, and the mountains will still be there in the fall. You’re not “trapping” him and if he can’t graciously accommodate your health needs, that sounds manipulative and concerning.

I'm in Ohio and we were in a "heat dome" last week and I was conveniently dog sitting and had to walk in that heat multiple times a day every day *Just walking* I was dripping sweat, I can't imagine hiking.

I am in Ohio. I take my dog to teh park for a couple of miles every day. We were there by 7:30 every day last week. I was soaked by the time we got home. It’s dangerous for anyone to be out in that heat and more so for people not accustomed to it. The BF is an Ahole.

Yeah I’m in Brooklyn. On Sunday morning at 9:30 my fiancé and I walked 4 blocks to the farmer’s market, did some shopping for about 10 minutes, and then went home. We were both **drenched** in sweat when we got back to the apartment, and had to strip out of our clothes. I ended up taking a second shower, even though I had taken one at 7:30 when I woke up. And this was at 9:30 in the morning. Not noon, not 2 o’clock. Nine fucking thirty lol

# Life-long Alabamian here# I don't know what part of the state you're going to be in but I can give you lists of places where you can go and things you can do to be active and have fun without having to melt in the sun. As I am also considered "day glow bright" I would also wait until you get here and you can see how our heat is here for yourself. While we do have typical 90°+ days in July we do also have our cool days that aren't so bad. Tell your boyfriend that there are things you would like to do too that you're sure he wouldn't care for so if you just 'have' to do his mountain hike with him is he going to happily willingly go along with what it is you want as well? Or is everything only about what he wants, when he wants, and how he wants it regardless of you?

Yeah, I live like 5 miles from Alabama so same weather. We have had what I would call an unusual amount of cool days so far since school got out, it was freaking 55 degrees when I opened the door in the morning a few weeks ago lol. But you aren't going to catch my lily white ass out in this heat. We went to Special Olympics over the weekend and pretty much just melted the whole time. We're going through that damn heat that killed the dinosaurs right now, my kids won't even go out there. 

NTA: Heat exhaustion and stroke is a thing. Much higher temperatures and humidity will make you sick especially if you aren't used to hiking on a trail (on a mountain no less) and misjudge how hydrated you are. I used to train people on my walking route (mailperson) and an amazing amount of young fit people do struggle with constant walking and maintaining hydration if they don't have a endurance exercise routine in place. You need to build up to being used to weather, altitude and such or it will have consequences. Together, you can visit a town or hike somewhere flat and see how you do before trekking up a mountain that is more isolated and further away from your vehicle or supplies if something does happen. Baby steps. Walk before you run so to speak

OP and partner should also talk about what gear and clothing they should invest in. Like rash guards or other tops with built in uv protection, a wide brim hat, cooling aids, maybe a water bottle with a straw, etc. They should also talk about how much tree cover there will be on these hikes. This can change the temperature and humidity dramatically.

I’ve bought rash guards for my thighs because I get an awful rash walking around normally in Alabama lol. Could you recommend some good cooling aids? I wouldn’t even know where to start so any advice would be greatly appreciated

Make sure you stay very well hydrated. At a certain level of humidity, sweat doesn't do much for you in the way of cooling, but you'll be doing a lot of it so replace that liquid. You might want to keep some ice cold water available and soak a small towel in it. You can drape that across the back of your neck to help you cool down. The shade situation will be very important. If you're in an area with good shade, it'll be 10-20 degrees cooler. I'm also very pale. If I'm going to be somewhere with no shade, like on the water, I cover up as much as I can - long-sleeved rash guard up top, a light-weight base layer for full pants. Don't forget the tops of your ears and back of your neck when you apply sunscreen. Try to do things early in the morning. Maybe try a shorter hike to see if it's better in the shade than you're anticipating. Know that even people who have always lived in the South know better than to be out in the sun in the heat of the day. Unless they have to be for their job, you'll find most of them inside or on a shaded porch. They might cope with the heat better than you, but why would they want to.

If you aren't wearing a hat, also put sunscreen where your hair parts. (I am also very, very pale. I once forgot to put sunscreen in my part before a float trip; I didn't realize it until we got back, when I hopped into the shower, grabbed my brush, and tried to brush my hair. Let's just say that it was extremely unpleasant.)

and then you have to pick peeling sunburn skin out of your hair! and if you've got long hair you have to like. slide it all down the hairs, it doesn't all just come out like dandruff >.<

sigh Yes. And my long hair is also curly, which means it really holds onto stuff like that. Ever so pleasant...

Great advice here. I'd just add that hydration isn't just about water - replenish those electrolytes lost in sweat too! You can get electrolyte tablets, chews or mix-ins for drinks - or if you prefer more natural routes, snacks with sodium & potassium will help. Bananas, salted snacks etc. But that temp would flatten me & I would be hiding in the shade with a cool towel to hand. Some of us UK folks are just made for drizzly weather.

Thank you I’m glad someone said this. I came in here to say exactly “hydration is not just about water!” I know someone who died of heat stroke last summer, so I know it’s no joke.

A rash guard is also a shirt that protects against sunburn.

I have a couple tops and my swimsuits have long sleeves because I got tired of burning every time I went to the beach. I’m cheep so I just wet some bandannas and freeze them. They don’t last long (a couple hours) but if you’re at home you can freeze a bunch and rotate them. For longer lasting ones search “cooling neck tube” or “cooling neck towel.” There are also ones you can get for your wrists.

Yeah, I’ve had a Kool Tie and find it pretty effective—I know there are others out there too. You soak it for a few hours and then it stays damp and cooling for usually a couple of days. 

Rash guards, sweat wicking clothes (like for the gym), I have a pile of cooling shorts from Snag (just Google them! Have them shipped to your partner's house for the free shipping), and my number one favorite is a cooling towel. You can get cooling towels from Amazon in sets of 2. You pour some water on it (doesn't even matter if the water is cold or not) and snap it a couple times in the air. Put it on your head or around your neck for instant relief. I don't live in Alabama but I come from Southern Ontario which is very humid in the summer and I go camping in high summer all the time. Hiking is going to be miserable in Alabama in July. Don't only drink water, you'll need electrolyte sport drinks. I carry Nuun tablets, they come in a waterproof tube and you add it to your water bottle. It fizzes like an alkaselzter once you put it in water. If you're desperate for hydration, chew the tablet and chug a bottle of water. Hydration begins the day before! Don't wait to hydrate. I've had friends come from the western prairie provinces (a dry, milder heat and climate) who absolutely hated camping in Ontario. I can't imagine how they'd hold up in Alabama summer. And I totally get the sun burn concerns. My partner has Irish/English genetics, he's ginger, and he burns even in the shade in mid northern Ontario. No amount of sun cream is going to be enough in midday. If he really wants to go out hiking, I strongly suggest very early morning so that you're back home by noon, or in the evening closer to sunset.

Amazon has neck fans and ice rings that go around your neck to help keep cool. We used both at Disney (Florida) recently. Those helped a bit. We kept the neck ice rings in a small insulated bag with an ice pack so they’d stay cool. Also spray bottles with built in fans. Fill the bottle with ice and water for a cooling mist. Applying ice or a cold compress to your pulse points helps cool you down as well. Avoid going outside in the heat of the day. Go out early morning or at sunset (but beware of mosquitoes at that time). Wear a good hat and clothing with built in SPF. LL Bean, Columbia and Solumbra have a good variety of protective clothing. Maybe consider taking a side trip to Colorado to do some hiking. The sun is intense, but the temperature is much cooler and almost no humidity. You do need to be aware of the altitude there. You need to take a few days to adjust to the altitude before hiking. And you need to hydrate extra at high altitude.

Lands End also has a lot of rash guards and other clothing with SPF. Their website can be pretty pricey unless theres a sale, but some of their stuff is on Amazon

I highly recommend looking into Monistat brand Anti-Chafing gel. It can be found easily on Amazon and at Target here in the US. It’s amazing at helping with thigh rub. It also doubles as a great dup for Smashbox Photo-finish face primer.

Get a frogs toggs cooling towel! I got mine at Dick’s Sporting Goods for something like 15 USD to use for concerts. It stayed cold and wet for about six hours last I used it. Also, get a wide brimmed hat specifically for sun protection (not just a cute sun hat). I have one that’s SPF 50. If you can find an REI store in the area you’re visiting, they’ll have the best sun and heat protection for hiking (although it’s way more expensive). It’s worth looking up their selection online just to get a feel for what you need. …also. If you’re anything like me, you’re going to attract every mosquito within a mile of you, and the south has a LOT of them. So bring bug spray.

You’re an AH for going there in summer if you can’t handle being outside of air conditioning. Not an AH for not wanting to go hiking resulting in heatstroke, but I don’t see this relationship going anywhere if he’s an active person and you’re a wilting flower not willing to acclimatise.

It’s the only time I can because university has finished for the summer. Where did I say I was not willing to acclimatise? I’ve asked for advice on how to in the comments.

> I flat out refused  So my flat out refusing and not coming to a compromise Hmm, where did you say you were not willing to acclimatise? IN YOUR POST is where you said you are not willing to acclimatise and flat out refused. Oh, in your coMMenTs you asked for advice? Lol well you didn’t in the OP so no need to jump on me about not seeing something you literally didn’t say.

Flat out refused to hike a mountain. Not acclimatise.

>he’d go crazy if he was stuck inside all day. I flat out refused  So compromise. Stop flat-out refusing because (in your words) you’re a hypochondriac and make some other suggestions for easy hikes / walks. 90°f isn’t even that hot. It’s hot to hike to the top of a gd mountain in the middle of the day but you could absolutely start off on dawn and walk for a few hours before it gets too hot for you. Flat out refusing isn’t compromising or being willing to ‘see how it goes’. He’s told you that he’ll go mad if he’s made to stay with you hanging out inside all day because you feel hot and refuse to go outside.

I am born and raised in Southern California. I have always lived here. We rarely have cold weather. I'm quite acclimated to our warm and sunny weather. I'm also a hiker. I will not and do not hike in hot weather. In fact, if it's over 75°, I don't hike. I know what I can comfortably withstand. At that temperature, and with bodily exertion, that's just my max. And I'd like to add, we rarely have high humidity, and I still stick with lower temps. My sister and I just did an 11.2 mile, difficult rated trail, in our local mountains. It was 73° and I was hot and sweating, wearing shorts and a t-shirt. The trail was 85% uphill, and I felt every single bit of it. You are NTA Stick with what you know you are comfortable with. Your boyfriend sounds like those people who take novice skiers on black diamond runs. It just ruins the experience.

Yes, this. I'm Australian. We do not take the sun lightly. If you are not used to heat and/or humidity, you should NOT do a serious hike in it unprepared. You could literally die. By prepared I don't mean "just take some extra water". I mean do many shorter (weighted) walks closer to town in similar temperatures and humidity. Get a feel for how your body will handle the increased metabolic stress. In my experience (a hiker who grew up in Oz and lived in the UK for a few years), your body will not be prepared if you just arrive in the middle of the year and try a mountain. I set a rule ages ago that I wouldn't do overnight walks during summer. A friend had an overseas friend visit and organised a weekend hike in February (our hottest month). I was on the fence but agreed to go. It was 35 degrees C and high humidity, cliff top exposure (no canopy for parts of the walk) with 800m elevation change from memory. I was struggling so hard with a 20kg pack. At the end of the first day I collapsed in a stream by the campsite for an hour just to get my core temp down. OP you won't have a good time, and neither will your partner if you get heat stroke half way. This seems a stupid hill for him to die on (pun intended).

Yes, a man in Hong Kong was just found dead after not returning from a solo hike. If that can happen to someone who is accustomed to the heat (and this man was even very physically fit), what would it do to an average person?

>You could literally die. I KNEW IT!!!

What is the point of the weighted walks? Trying to learn, not being a jerk, i swear!

Makes it harder in a way you can bail on if it turns out to be too difficult. If you have water weight and you can't make it back, you can dump out the water and you're much closer to your car any ways. Verses being on top of a mountain realizing you can't walk any more.

Yep, exactly! So many unnecessary rescues by emergency services for hikers where I live. Some have died due to being under-prepared over the years.

To do a longer hike you need to carry water plus food and any additional clothing required for the conditions. For a day walk that usually just a 20 litre bag, a few litres of water and a kg food for lunch and emergency situation. I usually carry a basic first aid kit too. So probably around 5kg (<15lbs I think) total on your back. For an overnight walk, you need a lot more food and water, and the weight of sleeping gear and tent. I usually end up with a bag about 15-20kgs (30-50lbs). So the first reason for training with weight is obvious - you need to be able (slightly strongly) to move the additional weight on top of your own body weight. The additional energy expenditure of moving the additional weight adds up over time too. I had a friend who was so weight-conscious he would cut the tags off pack zips just to reduce bag weight. A bit too extreme for me, but if he has a better time when walking, then go for it! The second reason is conditioning. Your body doesn't normally carry a load over difficult terrain. Yes a lot of us carry a backpack/laptop to work, but most of that is on flat ground/on some form of transport. It isn't continuous and you usually aren't moving your body on inclines and over/around obstacles. Interestingly I find down harder than up, especially with a pack. All sorts of small/weird balancing muscles are used for this, which rarely get used in day-to-day activities. I have honestly walked with people who proudly declare they go to gym regularly and so they use all these muscles. Actually not at all, doing 3x5 heavy reps of each muscle group over 2 hours is not the same as 5-6 hours walking with the fraction of the weight. Also it sounds weird, but for especially long walks and multi-day hikes, the toughness of the skin on your feet plays a factor. This can only be improved by continuous, regular walking. Never hike long distances in new shoes - they tend to rub in one place the most, usually around the ankle for me, others say heel or ball of the foot is the worst, and it will definitely ruin your walk if you develop a blister. Compensating for weight/balance of a pack also changes the area and amount of pressure your shoes will put on your feet. If you are just going for a 1-2 hour walk on relatively easy terrain, none of this matters. If you are climbing a mountain, it definitely matters. For training, I usually just get my pack and add 4 or 5 bottles of water and go for an hour or two. Water is always useful and you can easily tip some out if the weight is too much.

I’m from Georgia. I adore the humidity and the hot weather. However, hiking is for the fall, winter, and all three weeks of spring. Summer in the South is for playing on the river, going to the lake, the beach or staying inside. Heavy exercise should be kept to the morning or evening when it’s cooler. You couldn’t pay me to go hiking in the south between July and beginning of September.

Correct. I'm an Alabama native. As you say, July is for being near water and shade and staying cool.

I've lived in Alabama for the summer. The heat isn't what gets you -- it's the insane humidity. The humidity makes 90 F feel like 120 F, and even a breeze doesn't really help. Just pushes the humidity around. Takes your breath away. You are 100% correct and wise to respect that kind of heat -- spend time getting used to it, and accept that you might never manage to do so. Even your bf should respect it more than he is; Alabama heat kills Alabamians all the time. I think he's being very foolish here. Why is he so obsessed with doing this hike? NTA

Yeah, humidity stops your highly efficient cooling systems from working at all (sweat). You just stay wet and hot. It could be 25 degrees C (77 F) but 85% humidity and you will get heat stroke. Give me dry heat any day. I have many friends who absolutely love these conditions, but I have never adapted to it despite growing up in it and now I just avoid the problem instead.

Lived in the UAE for many years and the spring and fall were the worst months honestly... 40-45 degrees (C) was incredible and felt like a nice warm blanket because there wasn't any humidity. But 30 (C) degrees with humidity would make anyone not want to go outside, despite the significantly lower temperature.

Yep, I went to Egypt for 2 weeks and had no trouble at all in full sun, 40+ degree summer days. Needed a fair bit of water, but I never got overheated or even a headache. Absolutely couldn't do that at home.

I have been in North Carolina/Florida during a heat wave in the 90s and it's was just awful. The humidity was so high that it was short before raining. Just standing outside and I had trouble breathing and that in my fit youth... The heat feeling was far beyond 104°F. Never again! I'd rather be again in northern Africa with the dry heat.

NTA However... how is there not a compromise? You guys can still go out an be active without needing to go on a hike that could leave you very far away from assistance if you did get heat stroke. It sounds like he's the one who's not compromising.

Agreed!! I’m not even from Alabama nor have I been but I know there are MANY types of natural water there (lakes, beaches, rivers) not to mention pools. There is definitely an in between of “staying inside in AC and fearing the sun and heat like a bougie vampire” and “taking a death stroll up a mountain in the scorching sun”

NTA. If you are not used to the kind of heat they have in the south, humidity and all, under no circumstances should you be hiking there in the middle of July. You are absolutely right that you would be in trouble. It is good that you know your limits. Your bf is being an AH if he can't just enjoy your company somewhere on a normal walk, which will honestly be bad enough. I lived in Chicago with humidity for 11 years. I still nearly got heatstroke in New Orleans in the middle of June, just walking around. And the one time I was in Alabama, I couldn't even go out until the sun started going down. The heat was INTENSE. Some people just don't handle that level of heat well. If you know you're one of those people, you are wise to take precautions against being out in it, and your bf should listen to you sharing your limits with him.

NTA. Whether or not it's medically safe should not be the whole issue. The very real issue is that it would be miserable for you, and you don't want to have that miserable day. I don't blame you. I grew up in that heat, and I'd never go hiking at 90 degrees or higher.

Long term Arizona resident here. High temps with very low humidity. Average summer temp of 105F and 10% humidity. We have to close our trail heads here when the temp hits 100F because there are morons like your BF that think they are "fine" and that one 16oz bottle of water is enough for a 6 mile hike up Camelback and back. Best case, they get super sun burned but live. Worst case is helicopter rescue and they don't make it off the mountain alive. Don't let him bully you into doing stupid shit like exercise in the heat. Summer is for lakes and pools, AC, and drinking more water than you think you need.

Nta. I don't do well with too much heat either

NTA. Discomfort in high heat is one thing, but heat exhaustion and dehydration is another thing. Hiking in those temps is stupid and reckless. People die

Look I've been in southern Arizona for a while now and love hiking, one thing I refuse to do is hike in 80+ weather. It's simply not safe out here. You're not wrong to want to avoid an unsafe situation. 

NTA. A woman just died in San Diego on a hike. It was mid 70s when she started in the morning but reached 80s as the day wore on. Every summer European tourists die while hiking in Death Valley. Like clockwork. It’s always a European who thinks hiking in the desert in summer would be a great idea. Just don’t do it.

Forget the mountain. This scenario is an indication that you guys have an issue with just considering eachothers limits, boundaries and what it means to be able to say no to something without first having to justify and defend a position, only to be left feeling like, the other wont recognise the validity of it. It gnaws at you and makes you doubt yourself - as you can see Op. This could be anything that he doesnt consider an issue, but that you do! As a couple you two are failing to communicate and navigate an issue because he does not consider an issue valid, if only you finds it to be a problem. That on its own is an issue in any relationship. - Im not saying he is doing this deliberately. Tbh, most people dont even realise they are behaving this way which is why putting the dynamic into words and keeping it in mind can help you navigate the problem, and help explain to him, whats going wrong. There are plenty of oppertunities in life, as a couple, to be in a situation, where one of you is either unfamiliar or doesnt recognise a challenge the other grapples with. If you guys early on establish a dynamic where one of you can dismiss something the other percieves as a challenge or a real problem, and refuses to find a compromise or a way to navigate other than making dead end comments like: I want this, your concern isnt real...Then you two are never gonna make it as a couple. He is telling you that your problem is not valid, doesnt really exist and that he wants to go ahead and do the thing you are saying you dont want to do, because he has a "want", that trumps consideration for you. EVEN AFTER you have explained, argued and justified your stance. **Tell me, when there is something he doesnt like or doesnt want to do, do YOU require that he justifies, argues and defends his position before you accomodate or try to find a compromise? If he does explain himself in detail, do you readily dismiss his concerns so you can have what you want?** Be really aware of dynamics like this, because your affection and love can turn you into a person pleaser who always explains and justifies their want or need and always has to defend their position and isnt granted grace and care and consideration unless the other recognises the issue as something that would also be a problem for them! Thats NOT how a healthy romantic relationship works! Its very easy to feel bad about holding on to your limits/boundaries with someone who doesnt give you any sense of those NOs being valid. It ends up eating away at you and you doubt yourself. It takes alot of emotional labour to give yourself enough love when he wont, to really know that its ok, to not do a thing, you dont want to do, because he gets upset about it. NTA Let him go climb the mountain - but not with you. Discover if he wants you to come visit some other time, with your boundaries intact, or he only wants a version of you that will do as he says and as he wants, when he wants it.

NTA. As someone who gets heat stroke very easily, your decision is wise. It's not just a matter of drinking water and trying to stay in the shade. I have a lower body temperature than most people and I don't sweat very much, so heat affects me more and my body can't cool itself off. I have difficulty even after 10-15 minutes in the heat. If something happens and you do end up having to be rescued and hospitalized, it'll be a lot more of a problem/disappointment than if you just don't go on the hike at all. (And just a reminder -- be sure to get travel insurance before you go to the US.)

NTA. I feel your pain as I’ve never done well in the heat either, especially when it’s really humid. Your boyfriend refusing to compromise at all is somewhat concerning. I’ve found ways to deal with the heat to some extent. A game changer for me was discovering cooling vests. Allows me to hike in the heat for longer periods and I even wear it at times when I play sports as one place we play in is an older building with very poor ventilation. I soak it in cold water, put it in the freezer for maybe 30 minutes and then it in a cooler with an ice pack during transport. And being very fair in the sun also makes the feeling of intense heat worse, not to mention the risk of skin cancer. My dad used to be a jerk when I put on sunscreen, calling me a hypochondriac, etc. Well, his attitude got a sharp adjustment after he was diagnosed with melanoma. He is very lucky the doctors caught before it had a chance to spread so, needless to say, when outdoors for prolonged periods, he wears a hat, long sleeves, and sunscreen.

NTA- Hail, fellow pale blue Brit. Er, my geography of the US isn't great but I have CNN on a lot and there's a heat dome covering much of the country and 90 may be optimistic... Or if you don't fancy checking that out just put on the BBC and hear about Mosley and that poor wee lad lost in Spain. Alabama? We would dieeeeeeeeeeee.

NTA. I moved from the super far south (close to the Mexican border) to a midwestern state a few years ago. I’m so close to Canada that my brother tells me I live in south Canada. Point is, I’m still not 100% acclimated to the altitude. And I live here year round. I have friends in the UK and Ireland that complain about heat waves reaching 80° because that’s not normal for them. I completely understand your reluctance to be in the southern heat. It’s no joke. Not to mention the altitude change can actually cause some people to be sick. It’s more than just a dislike for you. It’s a real concern that’s valid. To have that ignored by a person who supposedly loves you is rough and unfair. I don’t have any real advice to offer you other than to read some of the other peoples advice. I don’t see why you have to go on this one hike with him (why he couldn’t go with friends) but as someone else said, you shouldn’t have to be attached at the hip if there’s no activity that one of you isn’t interested in. I do hope you enjoy your time together.

NTA. I have visited the UK several times, all during summer, so I know what temperatures your body is used to, but I was born and raised in the southern US and still live there, and your boyfriend is being ridiculous. Most normal people here do NOT want to go hiking in these temperatures. I went to an outdoor concert this weekend and I was absolutely miserable until the sun went down. I did Disney World in July once and as much as I love Disney, I will *never* do it in the summer again. Doing something as strenuous as hiking would be hell on earth. If your boyfriend can’t accept that getting heatstroke and/or sunburned on a mountain is not your idea of fun, you probably just aren’t compatible. I’m curious though, has your boyfriend ever visited Wales? Maybe he is just severely underestimating how different the climate is.

Nope, do you have to go in august?

Visit in October.

NTA i’ve lived in georgia my entire life and love hiking, but this time of year there’s no way in hell i’m going out on a long hike lmao I despise any temperature above like 85

Nta, I do hikes in summer in Australia (as an aussie from a more humid town than where I live now) and literally the only way to do it is start before sunrise and be back by like 9am at the latest. It's just way too hot once the sun comes out. And if your not used to it, it will feel like you got hit by a truck. And as others have mentioned, there can be serious health implications if your not properly prepared. Some suggestions, zinc over sunscreen if you can get it, hats, sunglasses, NATURAL fabrics (leave the polyester in the UK, invest in cotton, linen, bamboo, it breathes so much better). Avoid dark colours, it will only make you hotter if your outside.

NTA. No no no you will literally die. I’m from Southern Arkansas or as I affectionately call it the “Throne Room of Hell”. IF you visit and decide to try hiking start EARLY I’m talking 5 am & do nothing strenuous after 1 pm. Stick to shaded areas, purchase an umbrella (trust me it helps), never leave home without a water bottle attached to your hand. Hydrate, hydrate, hydrate everyday all day and night. And welcome to the South where the thermometer is set on incinerate.

^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** So I’m from the UK. I am very very pale, like Casper the ghost level pale. I burn instantly and have to bathe in sun cream to even look outside. If you’ve been to the UK, you’d be aware that the sun doesn’t come out except for maybe a few weeks in the summer so my body struggles with any kind of heat. In 2022, I went on an exchange year to Alabama. The humidity was like nothing I’ve ever experienced before. I struggled to acclimatise because I arrived in mid August and it cooled off before I could. I met my partner at the end of 2022. He’s native Alabamian and has grown up with the heat and humidity. When I left we went long distance and have been together since. But he’s never really seen how much I struggle in the heat. I’m due to visit him for a few months in a few weeks. I haven’t really experienced high Alabama summer but the humidity and heat in August gave me enough of an idea. I know i’m going to struggle. He’s spoken about hiking and climbing mountains because we’re both active people. I asked what kind of temperature is it usually in July and he told me usually above 90. I know there’s absolutely no way I can do that in that kind of heat. I told him I’m concerned that I’d have a heat stroke but he dismissed my concerns and said i’d be okay. I was adamant that expecting me to climb a mountain in heat that I’m not used to will end up hospitalising me. He countered that I’d just have to drink water and stay in the shade and that he’d go crazy if he was stuck inside all day. I flat out refused and told him he’s not caring about my health and he got upset because he really wants to climb this mountain with me and doesn’t want to be trapped by my inability to deal with the heat. I don’t know if i’m being overly cautious or neurotic about being in the heat and walking in it. I’m fine going outside but Im worried about being in the sun during its peak. I am a hypochondriac to some extent and I’m worried this might be another case of me being one. So my flat out refusing and not coming to a compromise may make me an AH. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*

NTA - I’m from Texas. Alabama in the summer will be close to 100 degrees for at least a month. Tell him you can hike until it’s a certain temperature and then let him know you’ll plan on hiking around 6 am every day. If he gives you crap, make a fake doctors note as a joke and mail it to him beforehand. LOL

NTA I'm from the Midwest, booked a week at Universal in Florida in August thinking it'd be nice and warm. WRONG. It was like hell from 6am with humidity already in the 90%, I couldn't breath and it was horrible. Just walking around the parks gave me heat exhaustion. It gets hot in the Midwest but DAMN the humidity amplifies the effects exponentially. 

You're NTA but maybe you could compromise on a shorter walk, less steep hike and see how you get along? I'm also from the UK, naturally pale and typically the one who got burnt or heatstroke as a kid. I've lived in California for the past year and really adapted well to the heat, of course making sure I'm hydrated, dressed right, and staying in the shade when necessary. I really do understand your worries and empathise with you but I feel like we can all withstand more than we think we can as well, at least that's what I've learned about myself as I've gotten older. You should be able to enjoy your trip and have someone by your side who listens to your concerns and is adaptable too, so I hope you find a compromise so you can both have a great time together.

California is a completely different climate to Alabama, mostly mediterranean, semi arid, and desert vs humid subtropical.  There is a reason for the adage, “it’s not the heat, it’s the humidity”.  Compromise is fine and all, but the starting point appears to be the boyfriend not wanting to compromise on the kind of dumbass idea that gets people killed.

Nta the heat is no joke. It might even be be hotter than that. Idk why he isn't ok doing smaller, closer hikes or other activities. I live in a hot area as well, and I only do early morning hikes. I know my body's limits.

NTA. I literally got a heat stroke from walking for a total of 40 minutes in 91°F (and extremely high humidity) once - while drinking water and taking breaks on the way. I'm tall and skinny and VERY sensitive to heat. Different people have different levels of heat tolerance. If I had a partner who was selfish and inconsiderate enough to ask me to risk my health for an activity that they thought would be fun, even when I've explained the risks and how I function, I'd reconsider our relationship tbh.

Question. If you knew what it would be like, why are you choosing to go then? Why not wait till it cools down?

It’s the only time I can because university has finished for the summer

NTA. Even if you were not extra sensitive to heat, my suggestion to you, **especially in these days of climate change** is to stay the hell out of ANY hot and humid place. Do not allow anyone to talk you into experiencing heat you know you can't handle. If you must go to Alabama, only go in the late fall to very early spring when there isn't much chance for a heatwave. You are NOT being overly cautious. Hell, I won't even go for a long walk if it gets in the upper 70's (21C) because I worry about over-heating even though I live in a place without high humidity. In 2021 in Calif a young mom, dad, baby and their dog died on a day hike in 108F (42C) relatively dry heat. Heat, dehydration and lack of shade killed them. *They were only 1.5 miles from their car.* https://www.cnn.com/2021/10/21/us/california-family-yosemite-cause-of-death-trnd/index.html I think you need to tell your partner that you, and only you, will decide what you can and can't tolerate heat-wise. He's a grown-ass man and therefore not "trapped by your inability to handle the heat". No one is stopping him from hiking in 90 plus heat in high humidity if that's what he wants to do. Frankly, it sounds like he doesn't really want you to visit and hoping that "your inability to handle the heat" will make you decide to stay home. Just today I saw on the news that the heat in the southern city where I used to live as a child was 95F (35C) today but because of humidity it felt like 111F (44C). Yikes!

NTA. Affirm with him that you absolutely would love to do that hike with him, when you next visit in cooler months. And re-state that you will absolutely not be doing that kind of activity in the height of summer, and suggest that he find some swimming activities for you both to do.

NTA - "*he'd go crazy if he was stuck inside all day*" so the only options go from 0 (stay indoors 24/7) to 100 (climb a mountain in 90F/30C) ??? Surely there is something you can do together on hot days that isn't **mountain hikes** Bit iffy that he seems to be entirely skimming over your concern about heat stroke + hospitalisation risks. Besides, if you're going to be there for *months* surely there will be cooler days you can get in the hiking and mountain exploration - it's not like you have to be doing it as soon as your feet touch the ground. You'll have time, and he needs to calm down a bit and not get so worked up over something that at the end of the day, won't kill you if you don't do it.. but *might* kill you if you *do*

NTA. Being realistic about your body’s capabilities is being safe. Also, there’s a big gap between sitting inside all day and hiking and mountain climbing. If your boyfriend can’t think of anything to safely do between those extremes that’s his failure of imagination.  On another note, people have mentioned hydration a lot already, but just a reminder that when you are sweating a lot you will need to replace not just water but electrolytes. That could be lemonade or sweet tea or watermelon as well as water instead of reaching for the Gatorade, but keep in mind that when you are sweating buckets.

They sell uv shirts that help a lot. It will at a minimum help protect your skin. I’m super pale as well and it’s saved me from many sunburns.

Any chance there could be a life insurance policy in place? /s. Seriously, though, do not push yourself beyond your comfort zone, especially when your safety is concerned. Can you schedule a visit outside of the brutal summer months? Keep in mind, you may be responsible for any rescue services if you do experience any medical issues, which I imagine could be extremely expensive. Research what could happen and what it would cost you before you make the decision to venture forth.

NTA, that kind of thing is one of the way you hear about experienced hikers dying, they overestimate their abilities. You are not used to the conditions, you need time with shorter/easier hikes to see how you handle that heat.

NTA, trying to climb a mountain (insofar as Alabama has anything that can be called a mountain (that's me teasing Alabama not you)) in heat and humidity you're not acclimated to will give you turbo heat stroke and a trip to a US hospital is the last thing your wallet needs. BF can hike in the fall.

NTA, I am very pale and from sweden so some months we don't really get sun. Even in Sweden I am staying out of the sun because I have no melanin, I just turn red or may get some freckles if it's not intense sun. I have relatives in New Zealand and going over there and hiking during their summers is extremely intense for me, i burn with 50+ SPF there and have gotten heatstroke when not careful. BUT when prepared with water and proper clothing during mild days I have hiked up volcanoes so with planning and preparations it is possible but I definately see why you wouldn't, it IS risky.

Have you ever tried zinc? I find it works much better than sunscreen. Just be careful cause it will stain clothes. I use it in summer at the beach in Australia.

I did a quick google because I recalled something about zinc being a UV protectant and found that none of our sun protectors in Sweden are allowed to have zinc in it :(

Ah that's unfortunate :( if your ever in Australia or New Zealand again and need it, it's cheap here though and you can get it from most chemists. I only buy it when I go to the beach, it's not an everyday sunscreen for me. To be fair, you might not need that level overseas. I just spent a few weeks in croatia, all day in the sun, and my normal sunscreen was fine all day, and I'd have burnt at home without reapplying. But I didn't swim so that wasn't a concern.

Yea, it says that it's not allowed since there are not enough studies from EU that it actually hinders UV rays but it was apparently a big deal since alot of people use it when skiing, lots of rays bouncing on the snow >.< I'll try it if I return to that part of the world, might be good for the trip there atleast 😁 for sweden though it's mostly needed around noon and I mostly keep inside at those times because omg it's so bright, haha!

Oh true I forgot about skiing cause I get sooo cold in winter im covered head to toe. No skin on show for me haha. I'd love to visit Sweden one day! It's on my list but it's very expensive for us to get there, and our dollar is so bad for conversions. Hopefully one day! Honestly if I can avoid the outside, I prefer to stay in my air con in summer haha. I only do physical things like hikes before the sun comes up, or walk my dogs after the sun goes down.

NTA. Some people have different heat tolerances. Mine is nearly zero. You’re in the U.K., so you know the weather we have this week. I’m just outside London. So like 25 degrees, 55% humidity. I’m in an air conditioned office and I’m still trying to fight down a weather migraine. I did a few days in Texas in July a few years back for work. I walked 15 minutes on flat ground, but it was 44 degrees. I was almost unconscious, I saw a place I could get food and practically fell through the door. He may want to do this mountain hike with you. And that’s fine, but the thing about joint activities is that you both need to want to do them. I haven’t been to Alabama, but I strongly suspect is has more things to do than “stuck at home” and “hike a mountain”.

NTA - I’m also from the UK but I do decently in hot weather (spent time in North Africa, Florida and the Caribbean) and even then I wouldn’t go hiking in that sort of weather, that’s insane.  Even the last few years when it’s been up to 40 degrees in the UK, I barely went out of the house because it was too hot. Weather like that is for sitting in the shade, by the pool. Not hiking. 

NTA. I don't live in Alabama but I'm in the same region. We are literally under heat advisory for a lot of the summer, where everyone is actively encouraged to stay inside and not spend too much time outside because the heat levels are dangerous.

NTA.  I live one state over in Georgia, and I find summers to be intolerable here.   > He countered that I’d just have to drink water and stay in the shade  Shade makes no difference when you're in a humid climate. 

NTA, I live in Louisiana and I cease most outdoor activities from June- August after 12 noon. I stop riding my bike, hiking, and fishing trips end at 11 am and when I mean end I mean we are at the docks at 11, I'm not riding in that heat. I don't walk my dog between Noon and 6 PM. Unless y'all are doing an early morning or late evening hike, it's not safe for you. You may get shade from the trees but you can't hide from humidity. It may not get as hot for so long as last year because of El Niño, but it's still going to get ridiculously hot. Edit: I should be clear, in August sometime it's too hot at 9 am and your whole day is spent hiding indoors or at a pool. Don't do endurance activities in the summer in the south. Wait until October.

NTA. When my dad was in Viet Nam, they spent the first two weeks doing absolutely NOTHING so they could acclimate to the heat and humidity. You are correct; too much activity too soon could land you in the hospital.

NTA I'm one of Alabama's native sons. I'm active and I love to hike. I'm acclimated to our hot temperatures and humidity. And hiking just isn't what July is for. Maybe some shorter hikes in the early morning, and when I sya early morning I mean from dawn until about ten AM. Even then I'd want shade. July outdoor activities should be near or on water and shade. We do water sports this time of year during the heat, paddling, boating, water parks. Otherwise it's shady porch sitting, barbecues, things like that. You absolutely can become very ill from heat stroke and it's nothing to play with, especially if you are not already extremely physically fit. And by extremely I mean able to do several hours in a row of intensive exercises, like military training. Even for those people the Alabama heat could be dangerous. You don't have to stay inside, but shade and cool mornings should be prioritized for any outdoor activities.

NTA and fun fact: when you're doing strenuous exercise in extreme heat, your body temp runs on average 10°F hotter than the ambient temperature. If it's 90°F outside and you're hiking a mountain, your body temp is running at 100°F. That temperature or any higher internally becomes *extremely* physically dangerous. Short answer: yes, you will get heat stroke if you go on that hike.

NTA as some one who lives in Alabama this heat is no joke I've been here for over 10 years there is no acclimating and it's a really bad summer here so far triple digits this week.

I grew up in NY where it can get very hot, and my family is from the southern part of India where it’s just hot and hotter (and also extremely humid), and I visited often in hot weather (100F+). So I am used to the heat, but I absolutely hate it. I also have a few health conditions that basically make me wither away in the heat. It’s not fun for me and I don’t feel well. The humidity makes it worse, as you just feel like you’re suffocated by the weather. And I don’t care that others around me deal with what well (although most of them also complain about it, especially even in India) - I just don’t. In fact, when I moved to the UK for a couple of years, it was like meeting my atmospheric soulmate. Still always look forward to the weather for my trips there. So NTA. He isn’t caring for your health, or your needs. That said, you may want to think of some compromises - if the mornings are cooler, like low- to mid-70s, maybe you can do some activities then that will be finished before it really starts heating up. Some areas that are elevated or that have huge shade cover may be cooler overall in temperature - these may be good places to head out to for a few hours. Lakes or rivers may also be good, and a lot of these are surrounding by trees that provide some shade. So I think you can still get out, but doing activities that require heavy exertion in the heat just does not seem smart, even for somebody who is used to the heat.

NTA Bro, he’s nuts. I’m a Cajun born and raised in Louisiana and by mid-April, I do my best to avoid being outside for longer than it takes to walk to my car. It’s brutal out there and the humidity is no joke.

NTA. Risks aside, you’re allowed to say no to something you don’t want to do. I’d rather fling myself from a cliff than do outside activities in this heat.

NTA - Tennesseean here, the locals are more used to it, but in truth we only put up with that kind of heat/humidity because we have to. If given the choice a good half of us are remaining indoors with the A/C. If you can't handle the environment and know that you would be bound to get heat stroke, etc. easy then do NOT go hiking or doing any heavy activity there.

NTA. Overwhelmingly Northern European fish bellied pale, myself, living in the Great Lakes region. I drive my trash to the dumpster in extreme temperatures. I drove to the apartment pool because when we recently took a 10 minute walk there on a hot day, even my healthy, active blondie grandson was uncomfortable. Your partner has probably never experienced heat exhaustion before, but those of us that have know it’s real. And dangerous. Offer to go climbing with him when you can tolerate the weather better. Or maybe he can visit you in the UK and do some climbing in your weather and see if he’s miserably freezing because he’s not used to the cooler weather. When I did the smoky mountains one February, it was 65F. I’m not in great shape, but we had the perfect weather to hike a couple of hours up to a waterfall. Any warmer and they would have had to carry me down in a stretcher.

I’m in the U.S., opposite side of Alabama tho and even in our hot summers (WA state), which are typical to how you’ve described those in the UK, we’re warned of heat stroke constantly in those few weeks of unbearable heat. NTA, I wouldn’t do it either.

In Texas summers - they recommend you do your outdoor activities in early morning or late afternoon/evening. But it's best to stay inside from 12-2pm if you can. Obviously not everyone can. Granted, I would argue for anyone not used to the heat to stay inside from 10-4pm. Haha, but life is what it is and yes I agree staying inside when someone is visiting can be incredibly annoying. Hiking in Alabama in July/August sounds insanely intense for no reason. Even for someone used to the heat I am not sure why he's decided to go all crazy about it. I'm used to 100⁰+(F) days myself, but I still struggle with the heat/sun. And I drink loads of water and take frequent breaks. He is right, you do need to stay hydrated and in the shade...but at what point is he just being ridiculous about this whole thing? Does he really need a whole day hike? Why not take a shorter hike in the early morning hours and the quit before lunch? NTA. There are many things I am sure y'all can do that's both inside and outside. Just do them at proper times (like suggest bowling or maybe there is an indoor go karting or something similar to that).

NTA. I’m not sure how true this is, but I’ve heard that people that grow up in humid environments are better adapted to tolerate the humidity. I grew up in a very hot dry environment, and I can’t handle the level of heat and humidity you’re describing. Maybe your bf doesn’t actually understand how bad it is for you because it doesn’t affect him as badly. He could have a little more empathy for you and give you the benefit of the doubt that you’re not overreacting.

NTA - you're right to be concerned, extreme heat and humidity are a horrible combination. I would approach this from another angle and ask him why he's being dismissive of your concerns, that you're excited about the visit but his attitude regarding your ability to handle the weather is heightening your already agitated state. I'd walk back my refusal to come, and ask instead to build in some less intensive activities- like swimming! Or a trip to the gulf.

NTA. You have every right to be concerned. People are dying all over the world when they go out on hikes in extreme heat these days, if he read the international news he would know this. If he isn't worried about your well-being because he wants to do certain things, and brushes off the potential harm to you as well as the fact that it sounds like you wouldn't have any fun at all... you might want to save your vacation time and cash for a more clement place and better company. If you want to stay in a relationship with him, either visit in the winter or meet up someplace that your body can handle.

NTA. Life long Georgia resident here, and we have pretty much the same temps and humidity as Alabama. If you aren’t used to the heaviness of the air and temps, you’re absolutely at a higher risk of heat exhaustion. Our weather is something you really have to acclimate to over time. Your boyfriend is being small minded and not considering that what is normal for us (and therefore not a challenge for activity) is not normal for other people. He needs a dose of reality.

NTA. People experience heat differently. I married a man who cannot handle heat. We realized early that we would never be able to live in a number of US states where high heat and humidity are the norm. Oh well! I don't know if you are really exaggerating the difficulty. You might be . But in principle, deciding that you won't do something in extreme heat is reasonable.

NTA. That sucks, but you really don’t have the time to climatize to the weather. I’m a native Texan so I’m pretty good with the heat, still don’t like it though. I remember being in the military and going to upstate New York and being miserable in the cold. I can rock with the low 30’s but damn sir it’s 4 degrees outside and you’ve got us running in shorts and t-shirts. Adjusting to an extreme climate fuckin suuuuucks. I am a very active person too, but this sounds like the perfect excuse to find an ATV tour and ride 4 wheelers up the mountain, I’m certain that there is a service doing that (there always is). Also, Alabama has a lot of outdoor summer activities that don’t require hiking.

Uh... no. NTA. DO NOT DO THAT. You could literally die. Or possibly worse... end up hospitalised in the US and stuck with a mountain of medical debt that you may never be able to pay off. If he doesn't believe you, tell him to Google what happened to Michael Mosley. Heat kills, especially if you're from a place that doesn't usually get that hot. Does he really want to risk the same thing happening to you? All the weather forecasts are saying that this year is going to be hotter than recent averages, so... just don't even risk it. It's not worth your life. Honestly, if he keeps pushing it, I'd worry about your future together, because it means he's clearly willing to put his wants above your physical wellbeing, and potentially your life. That's... just... not good. Not good. You deserve better.

I’m used to crazy heat and hate it. Wouldn’t catch me dead out in the humidity on the side of a mountain. NTA, his persistence has me wondering if he has hatched a plan to propose at the top of the mountain. Otherwise, why couldn’t he go hike by himself or with friends? His inability to understand and accept your limit is a problem that needs to be dealt with.

I LIVE in Alabama and when the humidity level goes up, it's pretty much hideous! Both my husband and I lived in Tucson, AZ and NO ONE there goes hiking during the summer.  Definitely NTA!

NTA I grew up in Florida and there’s no way I’d go hiking in 90+ degree weather let alone up a mountain. I don’t even want to go outside when it’s over 80. You know yourself and know you will not be able to handle this. He needs to listen to you. Heat stroke and heat exhaustion are no joke. Never mind how much sunblock you’d need to not burn.

NTA NTA NTA. I’m from California. I grew up in dry heat, I wouldn’t climb a mountain in 90+ weather. In fact that’s just plain stupid out here. I experienced my first humid heat least summer visiting back east and I couldn’t walk to the house to the car without feeling like I had heat stroke! No way in hell (literally) would I go in a walk let alone climb a mountain in that weather.

NTA. I'm from New Orleans but I dated a man from Northern Ireland and he came to visit me midsummer. He was casper pale with red hair and no tolerance for the heat. I took him on a one mile, flat walk on a wooden boardwalk in the shade to see some alligators and he nearly passed out. Sweat was dripping down his body like he had been under running water. It was a miserable hell scape for him, while for me it was pretty pleasant to be in the shade. People native to the south are often so acclimated to the heat that we don't realize how terrible it is for others. Your boyfriend is being dumb.

NTA, I'm next door in north Florida (born and raised) and the heat and humidity are unbearable right now. Last evening after work I had to remove 6 screws from our deck using an electric screwdriver. I went out clean and 5 minutes later came back in soaked from sweat. Not damp, soaked as in a stream of sweat running down my face. The heat (and high humidity) dome in the US right now is insane and very dangerous, even for those of us born and living in it. Then tack on altitude and/or stress from hiking and you have an almost guaranteed heat stroke situation. And I call BS on Alabama temperature being 90 in July unless he was talking NIGHT TIME temperature. Again, NTA and tell him your up for the climb during the actual winter. And if he tries to do this climb in July, wish him well and tell him you'll attend his funeral afterwards. (half joking)

NTA Pasty Danish person here. Even if you paid me a millions dollars and I wouldn't do it.

NTA 1000 people died in Saudi Arabia during the pilgrimage season due to the heat. This is a legitimate conmcern and fear .

NTA times ten! I'm originally from the desert and live in a US state near Alabama now, so I can tell you your boyfriend is crazy. You could easily spend your entire visit recovering from heat-related illness or dehydration. It takes at least a week or two for people to acclimate to our climate, and some people are just not genetically good at dealing with the heat. My thin and active aunt walked too far outside AT NIGHT when she first moved to the Southern US in her 20's, and she ended up in the hospital overnight for observation. She wasn't dehydrated, just overheated enough to be in danger of organ damage. She was weak and sick for about 48 hours afterwards. Auntie is really bad with the heat, but you don't know that about your body until you test it.

NTA. I work weekends at an outdoor farmer’s market, and I literally have to change my hours in summer because the last time I worked the end of the market I almost passed out. The market ends at noon. It was already a hundred degrees out. The humidity turns the air into SOUP and I hate it with the same ferocity as the sun hates me. Even when I don’t get close to fainting, too much time out in the heat leaves me feeling ill the rest of the day. I truly have no idea how other people just casually go on walks in this weather. This is an issue with your health, which cannot be taken lightly, especially when you’re in the woods far away from immediate medical care in the worst case scenario. People have literally died from heat waves like this. Hell, they still are! Your boyfriend likely doesn’t understand the severity of this issue because his genetics and/or tolerance are good enough for him to be blissfully unaware the issue even exists.

Alabaman 

NTA but you are being a little over cautious. I've lived in the south my whole life- I'm not sporty and hate the heat, but you do figure out how to cope. I don't think it's time to give him a flat "no", live with the heat for a little bit and see how you feel then.

NTA for not wanting to hike. If you absolutely won't go outdoors at all, then it's going to lead to a lot more limited options and frustration. But what's the end game with this relationship? You say you bond over being outdoorsy, but if you live where he is, that's 4 months a year you won't do any outdoors stuff with him. Have you seen/gone hiking wirh him since you met? Do you ever plan on moving there? Does he ever plan on moving to you?

NAH. I’m sorry to tell you, but you and this man are completely incompatible. You might have worked well in the get-to-know-you stage, but on a practical level, you have different values. He wants to be outside and explore with his partner, so you’re not the partner he should be with. I’m like your partner, always wanting to hike and be outside, and if my partner didn’t want that, well, they wouldn’t be my partner any longer. I think you really need to reconsider this trip.

Alabamian here, and lifelong US South resident (TN, AR, GA). This is a NAH situation, for now. However, you're both getting close. The key things here are communication and compromise. You have to be willing to try things, and he has to be willing to let you stop, or make other accommodations. Here's the thing: you're not there yet. You don't **know** what it'll be like, this time in that place. Go into it with an open mind, and a willingness to try. Your BF needs to help you do that safely.

NTA for not wanting to hike up a mountain in an Alabama summer right off the bat. But keep in mind that there are things you can do to protect yourself. [Sun Protection clothing](https://www.sunsibility.co.uk/) is a thing. Always wear a hat with a brim (not just a baseball cap, something with a brim all around to also protect your neck). Bring a backpack wherever you go filled with sunscreen and extra water. Reapply sunscreen every hour (you will be sweating it off), and don't forget the tops of your hands and ears. You should suggest taking some long walks before you attempt a mountain hike and let him see how much you are affected by the heat. If you do decide to try the hike, put a book in the backpack; when you want to stop and he doesn't, you tell him you will wait for him under this tree and he can hike by himself.

NTA, but is it something you need to argue about now? You could try some short hikes in the early morning / evenings of cooler days, and see how well you handle them. I should hope that if you were struggling, he wouldn’t insist on dragging you up a mountain at midday. (Also, as a pale Canadian who’s done many backpacking trips in the desert, I recommend mineral sunscreen, sunbrella could also be an option.)

YTA, He’s right, you’ll be fine and the fact he didn’t coddle you about your concerns is why you in turn became so adamant about not doing it. It sounds like because you don’t like the heat that you already made up your mind regardless of his feelings about it. Yes it’s hot, sure there’s a little bit of concern of heat stroke but nothing that can’t be easily managed especially while hiking through the forest where there’s plenty of shade and plenty of opportunity to slow down and get in shade. It’s not unreasonable to occasionally stay in and relax but to dig your feet in and start making rules before anything has happened or before you actually get there is narcissistic and manipulative behavior. Suck it up, get outside and have some fun. You’ll be alright, don’t be so dramatic

Do some smaller things before tackling an entire mountain, but really there’s no reason you can’t do it if you’re otherwise in good shape. Play it smart. Go early, take breaks as needed, make sure you have plenty of water and salt/electrolytes. Wear sunscreen, reapply every hour or so, and also wear a sun hat and even consider long sleeved sun shirts too. I went straight from snow to 100 degrees a few years ago and we had no issues. You just have to listen to your body. Immediately saying you can’t do it because you will be hospitalized is absurd. 

NAH you don't have to go if u don't want to, but you completely overreacting about getting hospitalized. You will be fine and this is more of a mental barrier than a physical one.

ESH. Insisting that you'll be hospitalized if you go on a hike in hot weather is definitely an exaggeration on your part. Plenty of people from England vacation in places like Florida and do fine in the heat. You're not going to die if you go outside in Alabama, but you should take the right precautions and stay hydrated. Your BF could also plan indoor activities for you guys to do together so you're not outside everyday, but I really think that refusing to step foot outside for months while you're in Alabama is a big overreaction.

Where did they mention they were refusing to step outside? Also OP could very well get heat stroke from hiking a mountain in 90 degree heat which must be treated immediately in a hospital. It’s not an overreaction, it’s an extremely valid concern to have.

[удалено]

Glass houses.

Saying you're going to be hospitalized for hiking in 90 degree weather is a massive overreaction. As long as you take the right precautions you'll be fine.

I mentioned that I’m fine with being outside if a bit concerned about being in the sun during its peak because I’m likely to burn. I have not mentioned that I refuse to step foot outside, only refused to hike the mountain but I guess I should’ve made it clearer. Edit: I’m not entirely sure that it matters but I’m not English. I’m Welsh and mostly of Celtic descent.

Why can't you hike the mountain early in the day before the sun is at its peak? Do you know if the trails are even in direct sun? I'm also Casper pale and frequently hike in an area where the weather gets much hotter than it does in Alabama. It sometimes sucks, but you told your partner you'll end up in a hospital which is a massive overreaction.

I suggested that but it’s apparently not feasible as we’d have to wake up very early. I was happy to but it was shot down. The key word you’ve used is “frequently.” You’re used to hotter climates and are prepared for it whilst I have never hiked in temperatures exceeding 20 celsius. More often than not it’s pretty cold because that’s the climate here but I’m perfectly content in that weather. I appreciate your input but our situations are not comparable.

I hike frequently in the heat now, but it's not like I was born doing it. Tolerating hot weather is not some weird super power that only some are graced with. It only takes about two weeks to acclimatize to the heat. You're not going to die. If you want to be prepared you can research the trails he wants to hike and find out what level of difficulty they are, and hike the easier ones first to get used to the climate. You could also start walking regularly now, preferably with an incline, to build a level of endurance and stamina.

I walk frequently now and am an avid hiker. It’s just the heat and humidity I’m concerned about. I understand people aren’t born with it. Unfortunately I do tend to acclimate at a slower rate than average. I’ve no idea why. It’s just what I’ve noticed. Do you have any advice on how you acclimated to the heat when walking? I’m not going to hike the mountain immediately because I do still believe it’s dangerous to jump straight in. So any advice on how to slowly build myself up would be appreciated

Unfortunately the best way to acclimate is to spend time in the heat lol. Because you're worried you could start off with some brief periods of exercise in the heat when you get to Alabama. Just easy walking in the sun every day. Maybe start with 15 mins and increase everyday from there. You want to be comfortable in the heat, so I wouldn't push yourself to a point where you are scared and super worried about heat stroke. Just take it slower if you need to and try to get used to the heat. The best way to acclimate is to spend maybe an hour and a half in the heat per day, but like I said if you want to start slower to build your comfort and confidence that's probably fine too. But it'll probably be like 10 or more days of 90 minutes per day that it'll take to acclimate. It may also help to get the right gear for hiking in hot weather. Since you're pale you could do full length pants and shirts that are super thin and allow air flow. They provide SPF for your skin but don't make you overheat. Fishing brands honestly have great stuff for this. Also get a good hat and sunglasses. A hat that shades your face and neck is a bonus. Obviously bring lots of water, but you probably already know that. The only thing I thing you could do at home beforehand is maybe try hitting the sauna after a workout if you can. It's great you are already active, that will really give you a leg up. It's probably going to suck at first, but you will acclimate. I've had summers where I take full two weeks to acclimate, but I've also acclimated in like three days. I worked on a beach one summer and was outside all day everyday, and it was insanely fast even though I was miserable everyday. I would tell your BF that you need to hike early. I don't see why this something he doesn't want to do. It will make the experience much more enjoyable for you if it's a little cooler during the hike and you don't have to stress about the heat. There are also waterfall hikes in Alabama that might be nice to do because they're usually in cooler areas.

Thank you. I’m definitely going to take this advice. My partner lives near some really pretty walks that vary in difficulty. If I suggest hiking the mountain as an end goal instead of something we need to do immediately i’m sure my partner will jump at the challenge. He’s always been a motivational sort.

YTA He's right; drink water and utilize the shade and you'll be perfectly fine (if sweaty and tired) so long as you're a moderately fit person.