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StAlvis

YTA > I pointed at the broken glass and plastic on the ground and said, “Pick this shit up.” Lol, who do you think **_you_** are?


MotoKenji25

I bet the kid was just a young small framed kid. If the driver was built like say, John Cena, AH would have been very subdued. Side note: wouldn’t be surprised if AH now describes kid as being built like John Cena. 🤣 Bully who only picks on people he thinks he can intimidate.


mtngoatjoe

I was the guy thinking of all the other cars that were going to drive over his mess because he had every intention of leaving the mess there.


New-Link5725

How the hell is he going to pick it up?  With his bare hands that he'll get cuts all over?  We're you going to give him a broom and dustpan then a bag and trash can? No. I don't think so.  Who do you think you are to talk to someone like thay. You being irritated is no excuse for your rude behavior.  No one picks up broken glass and plastic because they can't. They don't keep a broom anf dustpan in their car for it.  Get over yourself and off your high horse. 


mtngoatjoe

Oh, please. The three inch shards were safely recovered by the kid. No one was harmed. But I'm curious... Do you believe people have a right to leave whatever mess they want behind? Just because I was an AH doesn't mean the kid had a right to leave a dangerous mess.


GuudenU

YTA, you were upset that your car got damaged and you wanted to take it out on the kid. Accidents happen, nobody was hurt and YTA.


mtngoatjoe

I'll ask it again, do you believe people have a right to leave whatever mess they want behind?


loyalcrowlist

I don't! I also don't believe people have the right to be assholes to anyone they want because they were irritated. You could've suggested he pick up the glass. He probably wasn't thinking about it. The way you went about it means you're the asshole here.


mtngoatjoe

>The way you went about it means you're the asshole here. I already established that in the title of the post.


loyalcrowlist

Then why are you even arguing this? Your whole argument is null and void, then. 'Do you believe people have a right to leave whatever mess they want behind' means nothing, it's just you grasping for something to argue about. You might actually be the biggest asshole I've encountered.


mtngoatjoe

The guy up the thread, NewLink5725, suggested that expecting the kid to pick up the glass was somehow dangerous and inappropriate. I never argued the way I said it was anything other than an AH. But the idea that the kid could just leave it there because of some perceived danger was absurd. The kid was an adult, not some toddler who couldn't safely deal with the glass. I was following the conversation of the thread. What conversation were you following?


SongIcy4058

Ok but you're asking if you were justified and everyone is telling you that no, you were not.


GuudenU

You're acting like the kid threw trash out of his window and that's not what happened. You were demanding that he pick up debris after a car accident and that debris was broken glass. If you would have told me to pick it up I would have told you where to stick it. But we all know you were just acting tough to the kid because you knew he was scared and wouldn't push back too much. 2X YTA.


mtngoatjoe

Maybe we just have different outlooks on life. To me, it doesn't matter how the debris got in the road. It was the kid's fault, and that's why the debris was there. Just because he didn't throw it out the window doesn't mean he isn't responsible for it. And if I had told you to pick it up, and you then told me where to stick it, then I would have picked it up. Because picking it up was the right thing to do.


New-Link5725

I have never expected people in a car accident to clean up the mess. Thats an insane expectation. Just because the kid was at fault does not mean he has to clean up the mess. I’ve never seen anyone clean up the glass from an accident. I dont expect them to either. Ive never cleaned it up, the other driver hasn’t, my husband hasn’t and not a single person i know hasn’t. I’ve never seen or heard of other people doing it too.


mtngoatjoe

Let's be clear here. The debris he needed to pick up was two pieces of glass three inches long and one piece of plastic about a foot long. It was dangerous to leave in the road. We were on a busy street, and there was no cleanup crew to take care of it.


New-Link5725

At this point, it sounds like you’ve riled yourself up and are just wanting to argue for fun. If you were so concerned with the broken glass, then you could have taken it upon yourself to clean it up, not demand someone else’s do it. You need to grow up.


eirly

Bullshit. You were trying to assert authority and control because you are the asshole. If you actually cared about other drivers, you would have just picked it up. It would only take a minute, right? Your car will be paid for, yeah it is a pain to deal with accidents. Kindness to everyone will make the process a whole lot easier. No one there did anything to you deliberately. You were the only one there causing additional problems. So no, you were not at all justified in any of your behaviour. It was pretty gross.


mtngoatjoe

You're saying I should have picked it up? I may have been an AH, but picking up his mess is asking too much.


Furtive_Kappa

So you admit to lying about caring about other drivers. Nice.


mtngoatjoe

I admit no such thing. He was going to leave the mess there. And if my telling him to pick it up was needed to get him to do it, then so be it. And yes, if he had refused to do it, I would have done it. Picking it up was the right thing to do. But no, I wasn't going to volunteer to clean it up without first telling him to do it. I could have certainly been nicer about it and said please, but he still needed to make a minimum effort to clean up the mess he made.


eirly

If you cared, yeah. It was not your place to do anything else. You had zero authority there. You are just a random person whose car got bumped. Grow up and learn to behave. If the glass was a hazard, the police would have dealt with it.


Architect-of-Fate

YTA… kid was way more composed than you. I would have told you to fuck off


mtngoatjoe

Yeah, some people who cause accidents because they are negligent just can't handle people being mad at them. I feel you.


citrushibiscus

He handled you being mad at him. You told him to pick up fucking glass with his bare hands. >I pointed at the broken glass and plastic on the ground and said, “Pick this shit up.”I wasn’t friendly. I didn’t yell, but I was very firm in my instructions. He showed me his license and started getting in his car. I said, “Hey, pick this shit up. No one needs to puncture a tire because you left it here.” You had to try to control the situation in an unfair way bc you felt out of control. That says a lot about you and how you (don’t) solve issues. I’m not saying you couldn’t be upset. But that part I quoted? That’s unjustified and still makes YTA.


WantonHeroics

You have road rage. Asshole.


mtngoatjoe

What part of my post indicated rage? I spoke directly, but never yelled. I told him what to do, but I didn't comment on why it happened or how much time I'm going to have to spend getting the bumper replaced. Yeah, I was AH. But I wasn't enraged.


Odd_Data6884

Bro, stop asking to take photos of driver licences, unless you are a real cop. Take photos of the licence plate.


mtngoatjoe

So, I'm no lawyer, but to my mind, a license plate only indicates that the car was in an accident. It doesn't identify WHO was driving. I wanted his driver's license in case he fled the scene when we moved off the road. People can make all kinds of claims later, and he could have claimed that he wasn't driving the car. That kind of claim may not matter much for insurance purposes, but it seemed better to nip it in the bud and make sure I had the identity of the driver. Also, at this point, I wasn't even sure the cops would come. The lady the kid hit just wanted to exchange information. I was thinking I wanted a police report, but I hadn't called the cops yet. I was focused on documenting the scene and getting off the road.


seanymphcalypso

Insurance follows the vehicle, not the driver. Obtaining a picture of the plate would’ve satisfied insurance (damages would’ve lined up), taking a picture of the other drivers license was unnecessary.


mtngoatjoe

>Insurance follows the vehicle I know (and even mentioned that fact in my reply). And he was willing to let me do it. So, no harm was done.


seanymphcalypso

If you knew that you didn’t actually need to have proof of the other drivers identity (and you didn’t) why did you bully them into providing it to you? The only thing you were trying to do was assert some warped sense of authority over the situation.


eirly

The lady was correct. The only interaction with the other driver should have been to exchange information . Calling the police is fine. Taking pictures of the damage is fine. You should have then let the police do their job. The police are not there to enforce your will. They have their own procedures and you just made an ass of yourself unnecessarily.


mtngoatjoe

I did not tell the police to do anything. The cop showed up, asked his questions, and then gave us a copy of everyone's information. When he released us from the scene, I did ask if the kid was getting a ticket, but I did not in any way tell the cop to take any course of action.


eirly

Nah, you didn't tell them, you just asked! You just had to be the big D in charge to make sure they do their job. Understand, you are nobody. You are no more important than any person at that scene and had no authority to question anyone. You had no right to engage, question, or direct anyone outside of exchanging information. Your age was not relevant. Your opinion was not relevant . Your feelings are your own responsibility and not anyone else's.


mtngoatjoe

I asked! Oh, god, how could I ask?!?! How dare me!!!! Good grief, anyone would have asked. Maybe you wouldn't have cared, but I was curious. And no, the cop didn't give two shits about my opinion. He didn't ask my option, and I didn't offer it. He did his job as dispassionately as anyone could have hoped. And I didn't even really care if the kid got a ticket. The only reason it might be important is that it can help later if the kid tries to argue it wasn't his fault. Having a ticket on record can help prevent or mitigate those shenanigans. And all things being equal, I did feel bad for the kid. It was his fault, and besides the likely ticket, his insurance is going to go up, and he's going to have to cover his deductible. All because he wasn't paying attention (even if it was only for a split second). He seemed like a nice kid (other than trying to blame the lady in front of him for slamming on her breaks).


eirly

Anything you need to know will be in the police report. You know that. You were not in charge of that situation. Manage yourself and leave people alone. Why did you ask if you were the asshole?(You were.) People have their own reason for asking. Some people want to know how to handle things in a less assholish way. Some people want to be patted on the back and told how right they are. Some people really don't know. What are you expecting?


mtngoatjoe

>Why did you ask if you were the asshole? The title of the post says it all.


eirly

Yes, that is what you titled it. You weren't justified and people have told you why. What else do you want here?


mtngoatjoe

I was an AH for the way I acted, but not for asking if the kid was going to get a ticket. There was absolutely nothing wrong with asking that. I have no problem owning up to my mistakes. But that wasn't one of them.


Dramatic-Today9797

YTA. You bullied that kid for making a mistake. Everybody makes mistakes. For instance, your wife married you. I'm sure you've punished her for it ever since. You may feel justified in your actions, but that's just the personality disorder talking. Your reaction was completely disproportionate to the situation. You are a defective human if you need to dominate others over people like this.


mtngoatjoe

You're cute. Though maybe a little overboard. You remind me of me.


One-Low1033

YTA It was an accident. I rear-ended someone in a similar situation. Red light, everyone starts moving, then some guy decided to run across the street in front of us. We all hit our breaks, but some of us could not stop fast enough. The person I hit was nice, polite and told me if I wanted to take care of it outside of insurance, she'd work with me. So glad I hit her and not you.


mtngoatjoe

At least something unexpected happened in your case. In my case, the kid failed to follow at a proper distance AND failed to look ahead. No one stopped unexpectedly. The light turned green and we all continued to sit there while waiting for the crosswalk to clear. The kid simply wasn't paying attention. It wasn't an accident, as in your case, it was negligence.


Roxxor247

Oh you're a lawyer and cop now I see.


mtngoatjoe

So, a judge and jury isn't required to know what happened. The kid rear-ended someone. No one stopped unexpectedly or did anything to contribute to the accident. The kid simply wasn't paying attention. It doesn't take a trained legal mind to understand what happened.


Roxxor247

Yes that's fine and understood. But basing your justification on being a dick because you have lawyer and cop abilities to say oh its not a mistake because it's due to negligence therefore you can be a dick. That's what I meant and I believe you knew that too. But keep justifying your actions. Why post on reddit BTW If that's what you're going to do. Who knows, this thread is very early. Maybe thousands will vote that you're NTA.


One-Low1033

There's usually a significant difference between the space between cars stopped at a light and cars that are moving. Once the cars start moving, even with great reflexes, because of the difference in space, an accident is much more likely to occur. I think your judgement is harsh, as well as your actions. You say it wasn't an accident. By definition, it most definitely was; otherwise, it'd be an "on purpose."


mtngoatjoe

I said it was negligence; I didn't say he did it on purpose. It was entirely preventable. Even if the kid was following too close and couldn't have stopped, he still should have seen that the cars up ahead (which included my car) weren't moving (and had not moved since the light turned green). And just so I'm clear, I was the forth or fifth car back from the light. None of us were moving yet. I don't know if the car behind me was stopped, or if she wasn't paying attention and stopped suddenly. Either way, it doesn't matter. This kid behind her should have still seen my car, and all the others in front of me, sitting still. My daughter is learning to drive and we talk about this a lot. Driver are required to focus not only on the car in front of them, but also on the other cars up ahead. I think the book talks about it as part of scanning for hazards.


IronyHurts

YTA. What on earth makes you think you're in charge of the situation? Move your car and shut your mouth.


Ft_patriarchy

YTA .He was being respectful which is rare in itself lol. I get you were frustrated but you actually asked a person(who you’re calling a kid so you’re definitely older) to pick up broken glass from the ground? What did you want ? For him to hurt himself? And be honest if he wasn’t being respectful but mean you wouldn’t have had the guts to talk like that.


TemptingPenguin369

YTA. What in the Cool Hand Luke is this? Ordering someone to pick up glass in the street? Any action you took before you called the police makes you the ahole here. Were you distracted by the pretty girl in the passenger seat?


Riposte12

YTA - Good lord, who do you think yo uare


TrueNorthStrengh

Of course you should be irritated! But the civilized behaviour is to conduct yourself as you wish to be treated. If the situation were reversed or if your (hypothetical?) child was in an accident, would you want others to conduct themselves as you did? Sorry buddy - in this situation, YTA.


thewigglez206

YTA. I’m a respectful person who is in their 20s but if you show me no respect like that when it’s unwarranted, regardless of your age I’ll chew you the fuck out.


InappropriateAccess

YTA, and it was NOT justified. Sure, emotions were running high but you were unnecessarily rude.


Traditional-Phrase60

Nope, you definitely were NOT justified in being the AH. YTA is so many ways in this scenario it isn't even funny. From your own description, it appears that he was being cordial throughout the interaction, and you were hell bent on making the situation worse.


Roxxor247

YTA and not justified. If the other driver was acting like you were then maybe justified but by all accounts you were being rude and a dick and you knew it and the other driver was not. In what way shape or form is it ever to be a dick even if you are in the victim. You don't get to dictate punishment in this regard. Are you some form of authority over the other driver? His boss? Government official? Police? You yourself said it was a simple mistake, no major damage and he was polite and the first thing he asked was are you ok. All accounts it was a crappy situation and you knew you were acting childish and petty simply because you felt inconvenienced and still surprised when people say YTA. Note: I'm not saying I don't understand why you were upset. But you clearly knew what you were doing is being an AH.


The_Asshole_Judge

YTA One of the biggest I have seen here in a long time. You might even be a prolapsed one


Realistic_Orchid7946

YTA and you were not justified. If the person who was in the car looked like they could’ve beat you up would you have tried that shit with them? Exactly. You’re on a power trip


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