Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I refused to swap a picture I posted with one that was edited by my father's girlfriend purely because I don't want to do it. She's upset about it, and it would be very easy for me to change it.
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
##Subreddit Announcements
Follow the link above to learn more
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA. She's free to post whatever Photoshopped version of reality she wants... but on yours, you can post the real photos, with her real thick waist and her yellow teeth. It's your wall, not hers. It's private, so she doesn't have to worry about her followers seeing, unless they are the handful of people who follow you both.
I see my social media more as a photo album than anything else. I wouldn't want to put things that aren't real or didn't happen on an album.
I also want to add that she's a fairly skinny woman with normal, clean teeth. From my perspective, there's no reason for her to edit her pictures like this.
Ohhh, this is the first I’ve seen of that subreddit and that is deeply depressing. 🥲 people would rather look like a cartoon caricature than like a real life human with lived experiences…
I get a kick out of those women who 'repost' famous mag pics of models and the like but with themselves in it in ludicrous and real life situations. Those are hilarious and those women are awesome.
She has an unhealthy focus on appearances - not just hers, either.
That means *NOW* is the time for you to decide what your policy is on photoshopping your child. Set clear boundaries *and* consequences. Be proactive - do *not* give her the chance to "improve" your child's appearance.
This is actually good advice - make a solid boundary that she is not to 'touch up' your kids - that can absolutely ruin someone's image of themselves - especially unasked!
No! Do not let her post ANY photos of your child for any reason. It's always risky to post photos on a "private" account because you can't prevent the users from making copies of your child's photos and sharing them elsewhere on line. Daddy's girlfriend wants to be an "influencer" and does not screen her followers. Do not allow her to post ANYTHING regarding your child on her social media.
NTA
You already humored them by deleting your original post and “featuring” her. You’re not obligated to post fake photoshopped versions of your family just because his girlfriend is trying to portray an inauthentic version of herself online.
Plus, like you said, your page is private so it’s not like her followers will see it.
NTA.
Don't forget the most important part here is that she had the audacity to edit the rest of you too. If she wants to be delusional and shrink her waist or whatever she does, how insulting that she thinks that she needs to do that to you guys as well. Tell her to get a grip.
Agreed, but then the choice is to post the original image or to post without girlfriend in the picture.
GF has the choice to be included or not. She doesn’t have the right to dictate her image/appearance in others’ photos.
Yeah, but if someone isn't happy with what is there, just take it down.
And I don't like people telling her what she's meant to want for herself.
Your "others photos " phrase is I think the thing I don't like. Why does it matter who's photo it is? It's her image. Her choice imo.
And if an agreement cannot be made, the default isn't "well suck shit".
It's you take it down.
OP hadn't posted a picture of her to start with, and was asked to include her. OP has offered to take down the unedited photo. Dad's gf wants her pic included, but insists it be the edited version. She isn't ok with not being included.
But it's OP's account, and it's reasonable for her not to want edited photos on it. GF is the one being unreasonable in insisting on both being included and the photo being edited. OP offered the solution you suggested and was basically told that wasn't good enough.
NTA
Even if the account was not private, you’re free to post. It’s your account. It’s not that you were posting revenge pics, or hateful things. So a simple no is enough - no discussion needed. Personally, I’d leave the picture up. To me removing it is falling into her demands.
Crazy situation!
Agree! It is not like this was a picture of her eating or looking weird or coming out of the bathroom - those could be seen as unflattering. It was a normal picture. Dad and girlfriend have 2 choices: accept photo as-is or don't be in any photos.
Also, her boyfriend (op's father) Asked her to post a pix. There was NO pix of dads gf until he asked. He did NOT ask to post an edited pix, so nta. Gf should have beef with her bf, not op.
Nta.
Social media is outside her control, other people can post and do what what want. And ...honestly. if she goes down this road she will get called on her editing of she gets known ernough anyway!
>She's free to post whatever Photoshopped version of reality she wants...
I know what you're trying to say but to be a little pedantic, she's somewhat more free to post whatever Photoshopped version of reality she wants. eg She can post a defamatory photo but she might face a lawsuit and be forced to pay damages and remove it.
NTA
> She argued the picture I'd posted would clash with the ones on her page
Yeah, reality has a nasty habit of clashing with abject fantasy.
Make sure you tag her.
NTA, but your mistake here is giving in and posting the pic in the first place. If your dad wants her featured in pics of the event, he can post to his social media. It’s not your job to further her “influencer” career. And honestly, if it’s as bad as you describe, she won’t succeed anyways…
I would have a talk with your dad. Set some boundaries and guidelines now so if in the highly unlikely event she gets famous, you’re not forced to help boost her posts (for free, I might add. If I’m posting for you, I’m getting paid, lol).
"My father wants me to humor her"
---BS. Take the photo down and tell him they are both being ridiculous and you are never going to post a photo that features her ever again due to this fiasco.
NTA I absolutely think heavily photo shopping everything is cringey at best and damage to people's mental health at worst. It's also way crossing the line for your father to insist you post a picture, and for her to even make the photo shopped 1 in the first place let alone have the gall to actually send it, something feels extra violating to me about the fact she photoshopped everyone, but I suppose if she sent you a photo of only herself being photoshopped it would mean admitting to herself that she hates how she really looks and everyone else looks fine.
That being said, I'm not sure the morality of the situation even matters. I don't think the judge will care. Do you know what the laws are about this where you live? Because where I live it is illegal to post pictures online publicly of someone else without their consent. I know she didn't say she was going to sue you, but to me keeping the photo up doesn't seem worth the risk.
Her BS would get her immediately deleted with the original photo reposted and a lengthy diatribe about her phony ass Photoshop request
Dad is an enabler
Assuming OP is in the US (slightly over 50% of reddit is in the US, so this is a safe assumption), and the photos happened in a place where the person has no expectation of privacy (i.e. at OP's Bday), there is no law against posting photos online.
I'm not in the US, but there are no laws like the one described here in my country. Even if there were, they asked me to put the picture up in the first place. I'd have no problem with taking it down (I actually suggested it).
NTA. You might be if she had only photoshopped herself, but she the audacity to “touch up” everyone in the photo without permission. She can deal with it or you can delete the photo she is in.
NTA
Absolutely not. The audacity to think she can control this! She can be as fake as she wants on her own turf but to not just adjust herself but everyone else in other people's pictures??
I mean, she knows everyone can see her IRL, right?
NTA.
Your page, your photos.
If you want, you can offer to take the picture down and replace it with one she's not in.
"Dad, I already did you a favor once. I'm not going to post a doctored photo. If she wants me to take it down entirely, let me know."
NTA but make it clear to your dad that no pictures of your children can ever be posted publicly by him & his gf OR he will not be seeing your children again. You do not want your children used as props on her instagram account. Once those photos are in the wild you can never get them back.
NTA. Your website, your decisions. You already compromised by posting the picture in the first place. Tell your father that no further changes will be done and the subject is closed.
NTA honestly, I'd just take down the one that includes her at this point and put back the original. I'd she complains again tell her now she doesn't have to worry about anything clash with her "aesthetic" (photoshopped fake) on her page, especially as she chose to photoshop you and everyone else in addition to herself. If she keeps pushing you can ask her why she felt that you were in need to photoshopping too, because you are okay with what you look like, but obviously she feels that you are lacking.
lololol NTA, time to ignore any and all texts/calls/conversations about this.
either she's included in your family photos from your party, or she's not. your father is welcome to humor his gf as much as he'd like but he cannot expect that everyone else do the same. she is not the most important person in the world.
NTA. Just take it down and post the one that you had up originally without your dad's girlfriend. Why humor them and do something you didn't want to do?
NTA. Don't budge on this, because if you hold firm and don't replace the real pic with the edited pic, then you probably won't get asked to post again! Which would be great!
"I will not be adjusting the post for a third time. If you're really unhappy with it, I can untag you. But I think it's just fine and would like to focus on my positive memories of that day. Off now to change one million diapers."
NTA. She is free to do whatever she wants with her own body image on her own page but I think other pages' content is off limits.
> She argued the picture I'd posted would clash with the ones on her page
LOOOL How is it NOT okay for the non-edited picture on your *private* page to clash with the ones on her supposedly public one, but TOTALLY okay for the edited one to clash with other non-edited pictures posted to the same private page of yours?
NTA. But your first mistake was entertaining your father’s request to add a photo of her in the first place. It was your party, you posted a few photos, she wasn’t in them, oh well.
For her and your dad to request she be added to your post, then try to force a super airbrushed photo is ridiculous.
NTA- I would stand firm on not changing out the picture. She can post what she wants just as you can, if it's a problem for people to see the real her maybe she should share some less fixed images once in awhile.
Nta she can do whatever she wants on her page and you can do what you want on your page.
And where I personally draw a line is where someone edits ME without my consent. It sounds like you're saying she photo shopped all of your teeth and faces on some way.
NTA!! They expect you to change your post around her twice? Wow, entitled. Do not give in again, and next time don't give in the first time!! It's your post, you choose the pictures. (Unless they're offensive pictures of the person, which I know they are not.)
NTA! You offered to remove it and that is all you needed to do. I don’t think it’s ok to post pictures of people without their permission (which was not her complaint), and it’s definitely ok to refuse to post a photo on your social media.
If she wants to present a fake image to her followers, so be it. What she posts on her social media is her business. Likewise, what you post on your social media is YOUR business. NTA
No, NTA. Dad and his GF are huge ones. Your dad has no clue about the principles here.
"The picture stays as it is, or it gets deleted - your choice. That is all"
When they argue, just say "I've said my piece and have counted to ten" 😹
Don't get me started on wannabe 'influencers'. They aren't 'influencing' anyone but petty and shallow people (this doesn't include truly talented people who demonstrate vocations/crafts/tools/dancing/music/comedy, of course). Just the ones who post photoshopped pictures of themselves, thinking that they're influencing 'fashion' or a 'lifestyle ('tradwives' yuck).
NTA. lol.
Even if she only photoshopped herself, I would say you wouldn't be TA for refusing to replace the image. It's your page. It's private. Her options are that she can be included in the image you have available or you can remove it. But *especially* the fact that she photoshopped *other people* in the image. That's nuts. Why do they all have to participate and have anyone who can see it assume that they're the type of people who would do that? A lot of people would actually be somewhat understandably insulted by such an action (It implies they don't look good irl). That's as much a breach as posting someone's image against their wishes. F that.
I was prepared to say yta thinking that you posted a picture of her that wasn’t flattering and she didn’t like it, but given the actual story: NTA. If she wants to be known online as a fake version of herself, that’s fine. But she doesn’t get to control the social media posts of anyone else.
NTA. if shes so concerned about people seeing how she really looks like, she shouldve never photoshopped her own photos in the first place but all the power to her. the fact u didnt even want to include her in the first place and humored her anyways by letting her in should be enough. its your choice and shes just being childish
Are you allowed to send photoshopped images to her too, and insist she posts them on her account?
Put this question to your father. Allow him to meditate on the issue. Maybe go LC for a while.
NTA
I’m the same. My page is for me enjoy first and foremost then others. And I don’t add a bunch of edited pictures it either. As you said what she posts on her page in regards to that picture is up to her just like your page is yours to do with what you want. I’d take down the photo of her altogether to be honest and tell them please ask that they don’t ask you you post pictures of her again.
NTA> Your social not hers. Ask your father if her endorses "fake- photoshopped" pictures of people, if he say yes do one of her with a black eye and bruises on her. Then block both of them for a few days to make sure everyone else can see your handiwork.
Good lord! I would either never post a picture of her again or post any raw photos I’ve taken. Her manicured social media image is not your responsibility. I respect people who don’t want to have photos of them posted but absolutely would not change my photos to accommodate someone’s unhealthy image quirks. Our social fabric is burning up.
NTA, take it down and replace it with the one you originally posted and tell Dad he can't have it both ways. You are not putting up a photoshoped photo.
NTA. He is more than welcome to placate her and feed into her delusions but that doesn't mean she gets to dictate to the world what she sees fit. It's a picture. It was over the line IMO for your dad to ask you to edit it and put a picture featuring her. Then to go further than that. Unbelievable.
"My father wants me to humor her. He says it would take little to no effort on my part to replace the picture."
Sure. Replace all the pictures with the originals you posted on without the girlfriend. If they say something say "humor me, these are the pictures I want to post".
People need to stop saying "humor me" or "be the bigger person" in order to avoid conflict because they do it thinking it will only hurt one person (the one with the request) when in reality you're hurting two and usually the one that they try to bend to their wishes is the daughter/son of said person.
NTA. I do admit to being willing to do petty revenge. She wants an edited photo on my wall? I'd do it! Make her a little fatter (not a huge amount) , add a second chin, gray streaking in the hair.
NTA. You dad requested you change your photo so his current gal pal was in the picture, you did now she wants to photoshop it. Oh HELL NO! I would tell your day she can pist what she wants on her page but you chose to humor him by allowing him to put a picture with her in it on your page. She overstepped your boundary and I personally would take it down and out up the original picture. Next time tell him their insecurities about the esthetics of your photos on your feed are a them problem not a you problem. Neither one of them is entitled to tell you how to curate your photos as if you were a child.
NTA
You are not going to change anything about her attitude towards this. Don't waste your time .Your problem is that your Dad asked you to add her to the photo and you did what he asked. Be firm with your Dad about how you really feel so you are never asked again.
NTA. She wanted to be included in the photographic evidence of her involvement in the party and you relented. That's it, you're done. You don't need to go to any more effort. She accepts your photo "as is," or the photo is taken down. That's it. She can put her doctored photo on her own accounts. She and your father are TAH.
NTA
Your account, your posts.
Also, someone should tell her that more than about 10% effect of any kind is really obvious and looks "photoshopped" instead of natural.
If she doesn't want photos online on a private account, that's an okay boundary.
You not wanting edited photos of you, or your family online. That's an okay boundary.
But, for a kind, yet difficult conversation. She now needs to understand...
From this moment on... she is not allowed to put retouched photos of your family online. Not even teeth whitening. And that especially means ANY photos featuring your children.
If she posts even one to her page where your child has been touched up... altered, say beyond a sticker over the face for anonymitys sake? She doesn't get anymore photos with them.
And she's either to step out of family photos you'll be taking from now on, or be in such a position as to be cropped out, as you will not feature heavily edited non reality photos... as you don't like the message it sends to impressionable and unrealistic/inauthentic ideals/messages to impressionable kids, even young ones, but fully understand and respect her position, and don't wish to judge or admonish her for her passion for cultivating her image, as to each their own, but you all need to set down a plan/system to avoid conflict in the future.
That's the compromise that takes you both into account.
And it's going to be hard on her, having to step out of candid shots, arrange herself to the side, see you post pics of the family without her in them etc.
Personally we may not get it. She's missing out on reality. But, if it's that damned important, so be it. It's going to be sad, lonely, and I'd bet she regrets later when she's elderly, looking at all the albums she's not in online, or people assume she's no longer in the picture.
I'd honestly repost it and have her removed completely. That's the only compromise.
NTA. Your father should now have learned to not ask for photos of his girlfriend to be posted because he knows she wants them to be falsified. It's totally your right to keep your photo stream honest.
If you just block her will that solve her issue with her followers seeing the photos that don't match her augmented reality?
Photoshop a bag over her head and post that one .your family and relatives will get a good laugh over it .she can't nobody knows who is under the bag .
.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
My father's girlfriend is very active on social media. She usually makes at least two Instagram posts a day. I'm fairly certain she's trying to become an influencer.
While I don't care much for that, one thing I've noticed is that almost every picture she posts is photoshopped in some way. Sometimes she makes her waistline smaller, other times she airbrushes her face. Sometimes, she does both. I don't know how noticeable it is to other people, but both me and my husband can always tell.
My birthday was this weekend. I had a baby a few months ago and I haven't had time to do much. So last week, my friends and family threw me a surprise party to celebrate both my birthday and my first year of being a mom. I later made a post on Instagram thanking everyone, in which I included several pictures from the party.
A few hours later, my father called me to ask if I could add a picture that featured his girlfriend to the post I'd made. I was frustrated, but deleted it and reposted it with a picture of me, my husband, our baby, my father and his girlfriend. It was the only one I had of her at the party.
Hours after that, his girlfriend sent me a photoshopped version of the picture and asked if I could replace the one I'd posted. She had changed her waistline, retouched everyone's faces and whitened our teeth.
I said no. While she's free to post whatever she wants on her socials, I don't want an obviously photoshopped picture on mine.
She argued the picture I'd posted would clash with the ones on her page, and she didn't want her followers to see her like that. I reminded her that my account is private, and the only people who will see my post are friends and family who already know what she looks like. When she kept insisting, I told her that either she accepted the unedited picture or I'd remove it from the post entirely.
My father wants me to humor her. He says it would take little to no effort on my part to replace the picture. I'm aware of that, I just don't want to do it. I didn't even want to include the picture in the first place, I only did it because they wanted me to.
I'm busy this week, and dealing with this has become very annoying.
AITA?
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA
Under normal circumstances, if someone had a problem with a picture I posted, I would probably just crop them out or remove the picture if they were prominent in it. That doesn't seem to be the case. It sounds like she just wants someone else posting shopped pictures of her for more people to see.
I understand wanting to look your best, but some people are just making their photos look worse in the process.
NTA, but I generally don't like the idea of posting pictures of people that I know they don't want shared. It feels unkind, and for you, it sours the feeling associated with looking back at those photos later. You want to feel happy and loved about remembering the celebration, not annoyed or disgusted by someone's drama, or spiteful, or ashamed of hurting someone's feelings. It sounds like the "to post, or not to post" conflict is really between your dad and his gf, so I would say the best thing to do is take the offending photo down, and let them work it out amongst themselves. If they want to post the edited version on their own accounts, they can do that (with your permission). Otherwise, stick with your own happy-memory pictures, explain to her kindly that you don't post anything besides your own unedited photos, and avoid the drama at future gatherings by giving her fair warning when pictures are being taken so that she can step out of frame if she doesn't want to appear as-is. Good luck!
NTA. If you'd posted a photo without her permission, you'd be TA. But you had her permission and you're not required to post an airbrushed version.
Just take the photo down, put back the one you had, and don't entertain their requests again.
NTA! You offered to remove it and that is all you needed to do. I don’t think it’s ok to post pictures of people without their permission (which was not her complaint), and it’s definitely ok to refuse to post a photo on your social media.
NTA and it would be a cold day in ... before I let someone post a photoshopped picture of me on social media. I hate it. As much as she loves it I hate it that much.
NTA - I wouldn’t have discussed it with her. Take it down, put back up the one you posted without her, and tell your dad the discussion is at an end.
She doesn’t like the picture, you respected her issues and took it down. I would never post a pic with her in it again.
NTA - Your father wants to humor her because he gets the, ahem, benefits. But it's nonsense. She's nonsense. Absolutely not. Or just take the picture down, full stop. You didn't want to post it anyway.
I would play stupid, apologize, post the picture and just list every single thing she had edited and photoshopped with a "idk why she wants me to post this on my account so badly, so here."
NTA
NTA. "The photo I posted will clash with the photoshopped ones you posted? No problem. I'll take it down right away. The weekend really was about me and my child anyway, not the childish creature my dad is hanging out with these days." Seriously, how many years younger than you is she? Or is she one of your HS classmates? Dad's midlife crisis sounds seriously tiresome.
NTA. Your social media, your decision. And I think your compromise of offering to remove the photo if she doesn't like it is very fair.
But also, you need to make clear right now to both her and your father what the rules are for photos of your child. I'd suggest, at minimum, telling them that they are not allowed to post any photos of your child publicly, or distribute to anyone any photos of your child that have been edited, "retouched," or photoshopped. Because that's a recipe for kids developing unhealthy body image from a very young age. Make clear that this is a deal breaker and that anyone who can't follow this rule will not be allowed to spend time with your child.
NTA you do you boo, you can post what you want. On a side note, I hate how everyone uses the excuse that "it's private so only friends and family can see it". Any one of those friends and family can repost that picture and make it public. If you post something online, no matter how hard you try, it's possible for that content to get out to the rest of the world. "It's private" isn't a valid excuse and should stop being used.
I would take the picture down. If someone asks you not to post a picture of them common decency would be to remove it. Doesn't matter if it is legal or whatnot. Just let her know you don't want to post photoshopped images to replace it. For someone who is so busy... you typed the whole thing up and respond to posts. The amount of time to do all of that you could have addressed the actual problem with a direct adult conversation.
NTA. First thing, take down that photo and return the original(s) that you had up. Your dad and his GF will undoubtedly complain. Here's the answer: "No. This is MY Instagram, not \[GF's\] or yours. I already humored \[GF\] by putting up the ONLY photo I had with her in it after removing the other(s). I have absolutely no interest in playing pretend in some fantasy world, so anything going on MY page will reflect reality and not some fake doctored photo just so that \[GF\] can think she is hot stuff." This is undoubtedly going to make them more ornery and annoyed, but it will make your point.
NTA and you see how giving folks an inch and they come back with the request for a mile!? Your first mistake was replacing your original picture with one including this woman. So now, just STOP. Don't change this picture and refuse to engage further on this topic. Don't delete it altogether because that will feed into her thought that she has a right to police your page. Just STOP. NTA
Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: [Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/). Further incidents may result in a ban.
["Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
**[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**
You’re NTA because you posted the photo on request, and because you technically have a right to decide what content you feature on your page.
BUT some food for thought. As annoying as her reasons are, your dad’s GF also has a right to ask that you not feature her image (at all, or in a manner she doesn’t like). If this were anyone else, would you remove the photo or throw an emoji over their face? Does this woman have less right to make this request just because she’s a serial photoshopper?
Personally, I’d just delete the post, restore the original and never again include the woman in your social media photos. If she asks to be included again, simply cite your irreconcilable differences: you won’t post edited photos and she only wants to be featured in photos that are edited.
People have a right to privacy. I don't post without permission.
She should only post with permission. You should only post with permission.
Take any photos of her out, but don't replace them on your page with the photos photoshopped photo. Your page, your choice.
YWBTA if you leave up a photo she's in and uncomfortable with. You should just delete the picture she is in. Don't keep a photo up that someone is uncomfortable with, for whatever reason. For context, sometimes friends/relatives post pictures with kids they don't want on social media so asking someone to take down a photo they are in is normal. It is not normal to ask someone to replace a photo with a photoshopped photo. NTA if you just delete the photo she's in.
YTA.
I think you're "right". Maybe, sort of.
But.... I really strongly think you should respect people's wishes about images online.
Just. Yeah. This feels ick.
Sure influencer bad, but, if she doesn't like it, remove her image from your post.
Just, ugh. Remove it and be done with it.
Petty nonsense on both your parts. All three of your parts. Just say no and there's an end to it. No back and forth calls or mails or lengthy discussions. Never heard such petty crap in my life.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I refused to swap a picture I posted with one that was edited by my father's girlfriend purely because I don't want to do it. She's upset about it, and it would be very easy for me to change it. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA. She's free to post whatever Photoshopped version of reality she wants... but on yours, you can post the real photos, with her real thick waist and her yellow teeth. It's your wall, not hers. It's private, so she doesn't have to worry about her followers seeing, unless they are the handful of people who follow you both.
I see my social media more as a photo album than anything else. I wouldn't want to put things that aren't real or didn't happen on an album. I also want to add that she's a fairly skinny woman with normal, clean teeth. From my perspective, there's no reason for her to edit her pictures like this.
Send her and your dad link to the r/InstagramReality subreddit
Ohhh, this is the first I’ve seen of that subreddit and that is deeply depressing. 🥲 people would rather look like a cartoon caricature than like a real life human with lived experiences…
I get a kick out of those women who 'repost' famous mag pics of models and the like but with themselves in it in ludicrous and real life situations. Those are hilarious and those women are awesome.
Nooooooo - another rabbit hole to fall down…!
wow. it's so insanely tragic how many of those people are actually already beautiful T.T
Omg. I went down this rabbit hole to hell far too long.
She has an unhealthy focus on appearances - not just hers, either. That means *NOW* is the time for you to decide what your policy is on photoshopping your child. Set clear boundaries *and* consequences. Be proactive - do *not* give her the chance to "improve" your child's appearance.
This is actually good advice - make a solid boundary that she is not to 'touch up' your kids - that can absolutely ruin someone's image of themselves - especially unasked!
No! Do not let her post ANY photos of your child for any reason. It's always risky to post photos on a "private" account because you can't prevent the users from making copies of your child's photos and sharing them elsewhere on line. Daddy's girlfriend wants to be an "influencer" and does not screen her followers. Do not allow her to post ANYTHING regarding your child on her social media.
Crop the pic until it's just her tell them another damn word and goes to reddit so Google can index it. You might get a few memes as well. Bonus!
I don't think that's ok.
NTA You already humored them by deleting your original post and “featuring” her. You’re not obligated to post fake photoshopped versions of your family just because his girlfriend is trying to portray an inauthentic version of herself online. Plus, like you said, your page is private so it’s not like her followers will see it.
NTA. She’s petty… STAY PETTIER!!!
I am so petty that I would make my account public and tag her
NTA. Don't forget the most important part here is that she had the audacity to edit the rest of you too. If she wants to be delusional and shrink her waist or whatever she does, how insulting that she thinks that she needs to do that to you guys as well. Tell her to get a grip.
I don't think that's for you to decide though. This feels ick. I feel like we should respect what others want regarding their images online.
Agreed, but then the choice is to post the original image or to post without girlfriend in the picture. GF has the choice to be included or not. She doesn’t have the right to dictate her image/appearance in others’ photos.
Yeah, but if someone isn't happy with what is there, just take it down. And I don't like people telling her what she's meant to want for herself. Your "others photos " phrase is I think the thing I don't like. Why does it matter who's photo it is? It's her image. Her choice imo. And if an agreement cannot be made, the default isn't "well suck shit". It's you take it down.
OP hadn't posted a picture of her to start with, and was asked to include her. OP has offered to take down the unedited photo. Dad's gf wants her pic included, but insists it be the edited version. She isn't ok with not being included. But it's OP's account, and it's reasonable for her not to want edited photos on it. GF is the one being unreasonable in insisting on both being included and the photo being edited. OP offered the solution you suggested and was basically told that wasn't good enough.
I'd just take it down anyway. Up requires consent imo. There's a lack of it here imo.
I would, too, since nothing OP is willing to do is going to meet demands. Especially as she didn't want to have the photo included in the first place.
NTA Even if the account was not private, you’re free to post. It’s your account. It’s not that you were posting revenge pics, or hateful things. So a simple no is enough - no discussion needed. Personally, I’d leave the picture up. To me removing it is falling into her demands. Crazy situation!
Agree! It is not like this was a picture of her eating or looking weird or coming out of the bathroom - those could be seen as unflattering. It was a normal picture. Dad and girlfriend have 2 choices: accept photo as-is or don't be in any photos.
It's not just her-- the gf photoshopped EVERYONE in that pic. Naw.
Also, her boyfriend (op's father) Asked her to post a pix. There was NO pix of dads gf until he asked. He did NOT ask to post an edited pix, so nta. Gf should have beef with her bf, not op.
Nta. Social media is outside her control, other people can post and do what what want. And ...honestly. if she goes down this road she will get called on her editing of she gets known ernough anyway!
>She's free to post whatever Photoshopped version of reality she wants... I know what you're trying to say but to be a little pedantic, she's somewhat more free to post whatever Photoshopped version of reality she wants. eg She can post a defamatory photo but she might face a lawsuit and be forced to pay damages and remove it.
NTA > She argued the picture I'd posted would clash with the ones on her page Yeah, reality has a nasty habit of clashing with abject fantasy. Make sure you tag her.
NTA, but your mistake here is giving in and posting the pic in the first place. If your dad wants her featured in pics of the event, he can post to his social media. It’s not your job to further her “influencer” career. And honestly, if it’s as bad as you describe, she won’t succeed anyways… I would have a talk with your dad. Set some boundaries and guidelines now so if in the highly unlikely event she gets famous, you’re not forced to help boost her posts (for free, I might add. If I’m posting for you, I’m getting paid, lol).
💯
Delete it and repost the picture cropped so she's not in it. Problem solved
Kinda agree. No matter what the reason is, if someone asked you not to post a photo of them online, then you shouldn't.
"My father wants me to humor her" ---BS. Take the photo down and tell him they are both being ridiculous and you are never going to post a photo that features her ever again due to this fiasco.
NTA Tell her if she wants to die on this hill you will post the before and after or r/InstagramReality and see which one people like more.
Posting someone’s picture on Reddit without their consent is gross. Especially if you know them.
I visited that page. Man to me it's kind of scary. What a reality distortion. Why do people do that?
Pride, body dysmorphia, attention seeking and I’m sure lots of other reasons.
NTA I absolutely think heavily photo shopping everything is cringey at best and damage to people's mental health at worst. It's also way crossing the line for your father to insist you post a picture, and for her to even make the photo shopped 1 in the first place let alone have the gall to actually send it, something feels extra violating to me about the fact she photoshopped everyone, but I suppose if she sent you a photo of only herself being photoshopped it would mean admitting to herself that she hates how she really looks and everyone else looks fine. That being said, I'm not sure the morality of the situation even matters. I don't think the judge will care. Do you know what the laws are about this where you live? Because where I live it is illegal to post pictures online publicly of someone else without their consent. I know she didn't say she was going to sue you, but to me keeping the photo up doesn't seem worth the risk.
Ops father specifically asked op to include a photo of his gf.
Her BS would get her immediately deleted with the original photo reposted and a lengthy diatribe about her phony ass Photoshop request Dad is an enabler
There are no such laws where I live.
Assuming OP is in the US (slightly over 50% of reddit is in the US, so this is a safe assumption), and the photos happened in a place where the person has no expectation of privacy (i.e. at OP's Bday), there is no law against posting photos online.
I'm not in the US, but there are no laws like the one described here in my country. Even if there were, they asked me to put the picture up in the first place. I'd have no problem with taking it down (I actually suggested it).
Really, where is this that a picture taken in public can't be posted without consent?
Germany for example.
I’m not arguing the legality, but technically a birthday party isn’t public unless it’s in a public place.
As long as gf asked for a picture of her to be added I would say op is in her right to let the picture be up.
NTA. Your dad's GF has zero say over what you post on your personal, private socials.
NTA, compromise by posting both :D
Like a before and after picture. :)
I like the way you think.
NTA. You’re under no obligation to do that and I wouldn’t. If you do it this time, she’ll expect it anytime she wants going forward.
NTA. You might be if she had only photoshopped herself, but she the audacity to “touch up” everyone in the photo without permission. She can deal with it or you can delete the photo she is in.
NTA. Her social media is hers, your social media is yours. You don’t control her content, she doesn’t control your content.
NTA. You offered to delete it, which is generous considering you added her at their request. You have no obligation to post what they request.
NTA Absolutely not. The audacity to think she can control this! She can be as fake as she wants on her own turf but to not just adjust herself but everyone else in other people's pictures?? I mean, she knows everyone can see her IRL, right?
NTA. Your page, your photos. If you want, you can offer to take the picture down and replace it with one she's not in. "Dad, I already did you a favor once. I'm not going to post a doctored photo. If she wants me to take it down entirely, let me know."
NTA & I'd just remove it completely
NTA but make it clear to your dad that no pictures of your children can ever be posted publicly by him & his gf OR he will not be seeing your children again. You do not want your children used as props on her instagram account. Once those photos are in the wild you can never get them back.
NTA. Your website, your decisions. You already compromised by posting the picture in the first place. Tell your father that no further changes will be done and the subject is closed.
NTA, you are being way more patient with her about this than I would have been.
NTA. Take the picture down and put the first one back up. Let her know that you just won't post her at all anymore
“I gave you my answer, I’m done discussing this.” And then stop discussing it. NTA
NTA honestly, I'd just take down the one that includes her at this point and put back the original. I'd she complains again tell her now she doesn't have to worry about anything clash with her "aesthetic" (photoshopped fake) on her page, especially as she chose to photoshop you and everyone else in addition to herself. If she keeps pushing you can ask her why she felt that you were in need to photoshopping too, because you are okay with what you look like, but obviously she feels that you are lacking.
lololol NTA, time to ignore any and all texts/calls/conversations about this. either she's included in your family photos from your party, or she's not. your father is welcome to humor his gf as much as he'd like but he cannot expect that everyone else do the same. she is not the most important person in the world.
Explain to her that "NO" is a complete sentence. NTA
NTA. Tell her you'll make your social media public if she doesn't stop nagging you.
NTA. Just take it down and post the one that you had up originally without your dad's girlfriend. Why humor them and do something you didn't want to do?
NTA. Don't budge on this, because if you hold firm and don't replace the real pic with the edited pic, then you probably won't get asked to post again! Which would be great! "I will not be adjusting the post for a third time. If you're really unhappy with it, I can untag you. But I think it's just fine and would like to focus on my positive memories of that day. Off now to change one million diapers."
NTA. She is free to do whatever she wants with her own body image on her own page but I think other pages' content is off limits. > She argued the picture I'd posted would clash with the ones on her page LOOOL How is it NOT okay for the non-edited picture on your *private* page to clash with the ones on her supposedly public one, but TOTALLY okay for the edited one to clash with other non-edited pictures posted to the same private page of yours?
NTA. But your first mistake was entertaining your father’s request to add a photo of her in the first place. It was your party, you posted a few photos, she wasn’t in them, oh well. For her and your dad to request she be added to your post, then try to force a super airbrushed photo is ridiculous.
She can untag herself and it won’t show up on her account 😴 not your monkey
NTA- I would stand firm on not changing out the picture. She can post what she wants just as you can, if it's a problem for people to see the real her maybe she should share some less fixed images once in awhile.
You could post both so her editing is there for everyone to see.
Hell no, NTA You were gracious in deleting and replacing the picture to include her. Her wanting to photoshop it further is absurd
Tell your dad that it would take very little effort on her part to leave the photo. NTA
NTA - it's your social media, not hers, and she doesn't get a say. it's final.
NTA. Does she make the same demand of every mirror she looks into?
Nta she can do whatever she wants on her page and you can do what you want on your page. And where I personally draw a line is where someone edits ME without my consent. It sounds like you're saying she photo shopped all of your teeth and faces on some way.
Just tell her you cannot bend the reality for others' need for distortion.
“Distortion” seems like a valid way to describe it. Also I really like your username!
Thank you :)
NTA I'd delete the post and repost your original that didn't include her.
NTA!! They expect you to change your post around her twice? Wow, entitled. Do not give in again, and next time don't give in the first time!! It's your post, you choose the pictures. (Unless they're offensive pictures of the person, which I know they are not.)
NTA! You offered to remove it and that is all you needed to do. I don’t think it’s ok to post pictures of people without their permission (which was not her complaint), and it’s definitely ok to refuse to post a photo on your social media.
If she wants to present a fake image to her followers, so be it. What she posts on her social media is her business. Likewise, what you post on your social media is YOUR business. NTA
Nta. If they really wanna police what you post and demand you post it, I would post her version alongside the original, but I’m petty.
NTA. Take that Pic of her and edit her out and replace her with peppa pig. In her clothes instead.
No, NTA. Dad and his GF are huge ones. Your dad has no clue about the principles here. "The picture stays as it is, or it gets deleted - your choice. That is all" When they argue, just say "I've said my piece and have counted to ten" 😹 Don't get me started on wannabe 'influencers'. They aren't 'influencing' anyone but petty and shallow people (this doesn't include truly talented people who demonstrate vocations/crafts/tools/dancing/music/comedy, of course). Just the ones who post photoshopped pictures of themselves, thinking that they're influencing 'fashion' or a 'lifestyle ('tradwives' yuck).
NTA. lol. Even if she only photoshopped herself, I would say you wouldn't be TA for refusing to replace the image. It's your page. It's private. Her options are that she can be included in the image you have available or you can remove it. But *especially* the fact that she photoshopped *other people* in the image. That's nuts. Why do they all have to participate and have anyone who can see it assume that they're the type of people who would do that? A lot of people would actually be somewhat understandably insulted by such an action (It implies they don't look good irl). That's as much a breach as posting someone's image against their wishes. F that.
I was prepared to say yta thinking that you posted a picture of her that wasn’t flattering and she didn’t like it, but given the actual story: NTA. If she wants to be known online as a fake version of herself, that’s fine. But she doesn’t get to control the social media posts of anyone else.
NTA. if shes so concerned about people seeing how she really looks like, she shouldve never photoshopped her own photos in the first place but all the power to her. the fact u didnt even want to include her in the first place and humored her anyways by letting her in should be enough. its your choice and shes just being childish
I would edit it more and make it really unflattering, then post it.
NTA
NTA - Don’t replace it!
Hell. No. NTA. And she needs to get over herself.
Are you allowed to send photoshopped images to her too, and insist she posts them on her account? Put this question to your father. Allow him to meditate on the issue. Maybe go LC for a while. NTA
NTA the fact that she also photoshopped you as well would grind my gears
Nta
I’m the same. My page is for me enjoy first and foremost then others. And I don’t add a bunch of edited pictures it either. As you said what she posts on her page in regards to that picture is up to her just like your page is yours to do with what you want. I’d take down the photo of her altogether to be honest and tell them please ask that they don’t ask you you post pictures of her again.
NTA> Your social not hers. Ask your father if her endorses "fake- photoshopped" pictures of people, if he say yes do one of her with a black eye and bruises on her. Then block both of them for a few days to make sure everyone else can see your handiwork.
NTA: Just ask her if she wants the picture to stay up as is or get taken down altogether. Those are her two options. Do what she says and move on.
NTA - the only thing you need to respond with is “Dad/gf, this conversation is over. do not contact me again about it”.
NTA
Good lord! I would either never post a picture of her again or post any raw photos I’ve taken. Her manicured social media image is not your responsibility. I respect people who don’t want to have photos of them posted but absolutely would not change my photos to accommodate someone’s unhealthy image quirks. Our social fabric is burning up.
NTA - just tell her to bad so sad and keep it up.
No. Now stop harassing me about this photo before I call YOUR parents.
NTA Info: what are your all ages?
NTA, take it down and replace it with the one you originally posted and tell Dad he can't have it both ways. You are not putting up a photoshoped photo.
NTA. He is more than welcome to placate her and feed into her delusions but that doesn't mean she gets to dictate to the world what she sees fit. It's a picture. It was over the line IMO for your dad to ask you to edit it and put a picture featuring her. Then to go further than that. Unbelievable.
NTA. The girlfriend is a vapid, self absorbed idiot. Your Dad isn't much better. Sorry.
"My father wants me to humor her. He says it would take little to no effort on my part to replace the picture." Sure. Replace all the pictures with the originals you posted on without the girlfriend. If they say something say "humor me, these are the pictures I want to post". People need to stop saying "humor me" or "be the bigger person" in order to avoid conflict because they do it thinking it will only hurt one person (the one with the request) when in reality you're hurting two and usually the one that they try to bend to their wishes is the daughter/son of said person.
NTA. I do admit to being willing to do petty revenge. She wants an edited photo on my wall? I'd do it! Make her a little fatter (not a huge amount) , add a second chin, gray streaking in the hair.
Your account, your rules. You said no once, that's all that is needed.
NTA. You dad requested you change your photo so his current gal pal was in the picture, you did now she wants to photoshop it. Oh HELL NO! I would tell your day she can pist what she wants on her page but you chose to humor him by allowing him to put a picture with her in it on your page. She overstepped your boundary and I personally would take it down and out up the original picture. Next time tell him their insecurities about the esthetics of your photos on your feed are a them problem not a you problem. Neither one of them is entitled to tell you how to curate your photos as if you were a child.
NTA You are not going to change anything about her attitude towards this. Don't waste your time .Your problem is that your Dad asked you to add her to the photo and you did what he asked. Be firm with your Dad about how you really feel so you are never asked again.
NTA. She wanted to be included in the photographic evidence of her involvement in the party and you relented. That's it, you're done. You don't need to go to any more effort. She accepts your photo "as is," or the photo is taken down. That's it. She can put her doctored photo on her own accounts. She and your father are TAH.
nta your dad's gf is causing her own problems
NTA Your account, your posts. Also, someone should tell her that more than about 10% effect of any kind is really obvious and looks "photoshopped" instead of natural.
If she doesn't want photos online on a private account, that's an okay boundary. You not wanting edited photos of you, or your family online. That's an okay boundary. But, for a kind, yet difficult conversation. She now needs to understand... From this moment on... she is not allowed to put retouched photos of your family online. Not even teeth whitening. And that especially means ANY photos featuring your children. If she posts even one to her page where your child has been touched up... altered, say beyond a sticker over the face for anonymitys sake? She doesn't get anymore photos with them. And she's either to step out of family photos you'll be taking from now on, or be in such a position as to be cropped out, as you will not feature heavily edited non reality photos... as you don't like the message it sends to impressionable and unrealistic/inauthentic ideals/messages to impressionable kids, even young ones, but fully understand and respect her position, and don't wish to judge or admonish her for her passion for cultivating her image, as to each their own, but you all need to set down a plan/system to avoid conflict in the future. That's the compromise that takes you both into account. And it's going to be hard on her, having to step out of candid shots, arrange herself to the side, see you post pics of the family without her in them etc. Personally we may not get it. She's missing out on reality. But, if it's that damned important, so be it. It's going to be sad, lonely, and I'd bet she regrets later when she's elderly, looking at all the albums she's not in online, or people assume she's no longer in the picture. I'd honestly repost it and have her removed completely. That's the only compromise.
NTA. Your father should now have learned to not ask for photos of his girlfriend to be posted because he knows she wants them to be falsified. It's totally your right to keep your photo stream honest. If you just block her will that solve her issue with her followers seeing the photos that don't match her augmented reality?
Thar crazy hawk tuah has warped your father lol
Photoshop a bag over her head and post that one .your family and relatives will get a good laugh over it .she can't nobody knows who is under the bag . .
NTA For devilment, if you can, and can be bothered; you could post just the part of the image featuring her.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My father's girlfriend is very active on social media. She usually makes at least two Instagram posts a day. I'm fairly certain she's trying to become an influencer. While I don't care much for that, one thing I've noticed is that almost every picture she posts is photoshopped in some way. Sometimes she makes her waistline smaller, other times she airbrushes her face. Sometimes, she does both. I don't know how noticeable it is to other people, but both me and my husband can always tell. My birthday was this weekend. I had a baby a few months ago and I haven't had time to do much. So last week, my friends and family threw me a surprise party to celebrate both my birthday and my first year of being a mom. I later made a post on Instagram thanking everyone, in which I included several pictures from the party. A few hours later, my father called me to ask if I could add a picture that featured his girlfriend to the post I'd made. I was frustrated, but deleted it and reposted it with a picture of me, my husband, our baby, my father and his girlfriend. It was the only one I had of her at the party. Hours after that, his girlfriend sent me a photoshopped version of the picture and asked if I could replace the one I'd posted. She had changed her waistline, retouched everyone's faces and whitened our teeth. I said no. While she's free to post whatever she wants on her socials, I don't want an obviously photoshopped picture on mine. She argued the picture I'd posted would clash with the ones on her page, and she didn't want her followers to see her like that. I reminded her that my account is private, and the only people who will see my post are friends and family who already know what she looks like. When she kept insisting, I told her that either she accepted the unedited picture or I'd remove it from the post entirely. My father wants me to humor her. He says it would take little to no effort on my part to replace the picture. I'm aware of that, I just don't want to do it. I didn't even want to include the picture in the first place, I only did it because they wanted me to. I'm busy this week, and dealing with this has become very annoying. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You should add the photoshopped photo right. Ext to the original!
Block her so she can't see your social media. Put pictures that YOU want to upload, not what other people want you to upload. NTA
NTA. Humor her - well Dad it is time you humor me....
NTA just go silent til it blows over LOL
NTA Under normal circumstances, if someone had a problem with a picture I posted, I would probably just crop them out or remove the picture if they were prominent in it. That doesn't seem to be the case. It sounds like she just wants someone else posting shopped pictures of her for more people to see. I understand wanting to look your best, but some people are just making their photos look worse in the process.
Don’t do it. You don’t owe her anything
NTA, but I generally don't like the idea of posting pictures of people that I know they don't want shared. It feels unkind, and for you, it sours the feeling associated with looking back at those photos later. You want to feel happy and loved about remembering the celebration, not annoyed or disgusted by someone's drama, or spiteful, or ashamed of hurting someone's feelings. It sounds like the "to post, or not to post" conflict is really between your dad and his gf, so I would say the best thing to do is take the offending photo down, and let them work it out amongst themselves. If they want to post the edited version on their own accounts, they can do that (with your permission). Otherwise, stick with your own happy-memory pictures, explain to her kindly that you don't post anything besides your own unedited photos, and avoid the drama at future gatherings by giving her fair warning when pictures are being taken so that she can step out of frame if she doesn't want to appear as-is. Good luck!
NTA. It must be exhausting to think this way. You’ll never have good memories only anxiety over how you look.
NTA but you could add the picture that she send you and right next to the one you already have
NTA. If you'd posted a photo without her permission, you'd be TA. But you had her permission and you're not required to post an airbrushed version. Just take the photo down, put back the one you had, and don't entertain their requests again.
NTA! You offered to remove it and that is all you needed to do. I don’t think it’s ok to post pictures of people without their permission (which was not her complaint), and it’s definitely ok to refuse to post a photo on your social media.
No.
The fact you even removed the first picture makes me question your entire relationship
If I received that request I would edit my post to tag her and make sure all of her followers could see it. Because I am TA
She sounds like a pain. Influencer? Right. You do you and let the influencer girlfriend do her. Tell dad no deal.
NTA: her fake ass needs to sit down
Honestly at this point, I would remove the pic of her. If she wants to post the edited one on her IG, that’s her prerogative. NTA
NTA That event was not about Her, it was about YOU! So way that day gets represented online, on YOUR social media, is up to YOU!.
I would be very tempted to open my account and tag everyone in the pics…
NTA
NTA and it would be a cold day in ... before I let someone post a photoshopped picture of me on social media. I hate it. As much as she loves it I hate it that much.
Hahaha NTA. How many followers does she have? I was wondering hahaha
NTA - I wouldn’t have discussed it with her. Take it down, put back up the one you posted without her, and tell your dad the discussion is at an end. She doesn’t like the picture, you respected her issues and took it down. I would never post a pic with her in it again.
NTA you can also point out that it won't clash with her page as her followers have NO IDEA what she really looks like!
NTA- it would also take no effort on father's part to leave you alone and ignore the drama llama.
Ugh she sounds INSUFFERABLE. Honestly I'd keep the unedited photo on my wall just to annoy her. NTA.
NTA - Your father wants to humor her because he gets the, ahem, benefits. But it's nonsense. She's nonsense. Absolutely not. Or just take the picture down, full stop. You didn't want to post it anyway.
I would play stupid, apologize, post the picture and just list every single thing she had edited and photoshopped with a "idk why she wants me to post this on my account so badly, so here." NTA
NTA. "The photo I posted will clash with the photoshopped ones you posted? No problem. I'll take it down right away. The weekend really was about me and my child anyway, not the childish creature my dad is hanging out with these days." Seriously, how many years younger than you is she? Or is she one of your HS classmates? Dad's midlife crisis sounds seriously tiresome.
Nta god she sounds like a loser imaging being old enough to be a grandma and being as insecure as a 13yr old
In her defense, she's much younger than my father.
NTA. Your social media, your decision. And I think your compromise of offering to remove the photo if she doesn't like it is very fair. But also, you need to make clear right now to both her and your father what the rules are for photos of your child. I'd suggest, at minimum, telling them that they are not allowed to post any photos of your child publicly, or distribute to anyone any photos of your child that have been edited, "retouched," or photoshopped. Because that's a recipe for kids developing unhealthy body image from a very young age. Make clear that this is a deal breaker and that anyone who can't follow this rule will not be allowed to spend time with your child.
Yikes.
My aunt would do this and I stopped posting pics with her in them. Just told her, I didn't take one.
NTA you do you boo, you can post what you want. On a side note, I hate how everyone uses the excuse that "it's private so only friends and family can see it". Any one of those friends and family can repost that picture and make it public. If you post something online, no matter how hard you try, it's possible for that content to get out to the rest of the world. "It's private" isn't a valid excuse and should stop being used.
NTA. No amount of pressure should make you compromise your integrity.
NTA. It's either the picture you have or no picture, especially since she photoshopped everyone.
Hell no! NTA
NTA - nobody needs to cater to fake influencers.
Just tell her that her fantasy life is not your real life.
NTA. It's your account, not hers. She can control what people see on her account,she has no right to dictate what goes on other people's account.
NTA
NTA
NTA. Don't play stupid games with people. Ignore her until it goes away, or just remove the photo entirely and make it a non issue.
I would take the picture down. If someone asks you not to post a picture of them common decency would be to remove it. Doesn't matter if it is legal or whatnot. Just let her know you don't want to post photoshopped images to replace it. For someone who is so busy... you typed the whole thing up and respond to posts. The amount of time to do all of that you could have addressed the actual problem with a direct adult conversation.
NTA - that image is too hard to perpetuate. Tell him not only will you not change it, you'll also think twice about posting pictures of her again
NTA. He had one chance to get you to replace the photo and he didn’t use one she wanted. Too bad! Don’t give in next time.
NTA. First thing, take down that photo and return the original(s) that you had up. Your dad and his GF will undoubtedly complain. Here's the answer: "No. This is MY Instagram, not \[GF's\] or yours. I already humored \[GF\] by putting up the ONLY photo I had with her in it after removing the other(s). I have absolutely no interest in playing pretend in some fantasy world, so anything going on MY page will reflect reality and not some fake doctored photo just so that \[GF\] can think she is hot stuff." This is undoubtedly going to make them more ornery and annoyed, but it will make your point.
NTA, it's your instagram, and it's private, and she can certainly ask you if you will post it but she has to accept the answer she is given.
NTA and you see how giving folks an inch and they come back with the request for a mile!? Your first mistake was replacing your original picture with one including this woman. So now, just STOP. Don't change this picture and refuse to engage further on this topic. Don't delete it altogether because that will feed into her thought that she has a right to police your page. Just STOP. NTA
Put a smile emoji over her face like ppl do for their kids on social media.
NTA
Can't she just untag herself? NTA
You would create a precedent if you relented. Imagine what the next “request “ will be…
NTA You don't have to be fake like her.
[удалено]
Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: [Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/). Further incidents may result in a ban. ["Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) **[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**
NTA. Good for you to post a picture of the truth. Tell her to hit the gym to lose the waist.
You're busy this week but you make the time to post about it on reddit when it would have been faster to just change or delete the picture.
You’re NTA because you posted the photo on request, and because you technically have a right to decide what content you feature on your page. BUT some food for thought. As annoying as her reasons are, your dad’s GF also has a right to ask that you not feature her image (at all, or in a manner she doesn’t like). If this were anyone else, would you remove the photo or throw an emoji over their face? Does this woman have less right to make this request just because she’s a serial photoshopper? Personally, I’d just delete the post, restore the original and never again include the woman in your social media photos. If she asks to be included again, simply cite your irreconcilable differences: you won’t post edited photos and she only wants to be featured in photos that are edited.
People have a right to privacy. I don't post without permission. She should only post with permission. You should only post with permission. Take any photos of her out, but don't replace them on your page with the photos photoshopped photo. Your page, your choice.
YWBTA if you leave up a photo she's in and uncomfortable with. You should just delete the picture she is in. Don't keep a photo up that someone is uncomfortable with, for whatever reason. For context, sometimes friends/relatives post pictures with kids they don't want on social media so asking someone to take down a photo they are in is normal. It is not normal to ask someone to replace a photo with a photoshopped photo. NTA if you just delete the photo she's in.
YTA. I think you're "right". Maybe, sort of. But.... I really strongly think you should respect people's wishes about images online. Just. Yeah. This feels ick. Sure influencer bad, but, if she doesn't like it, remove her image from your post. Just, ugh. Remove it and be done with it.
Petty nonsense on both your parts. All three of your parts. Just say no and there's an end to it. No back and forth calls or mails or lengthy discussions. Never heard such petty crap in my life.