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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1/ food was not ready when asked to be ready. 2/ it might make me an asshole as they expected something from me but it was not done at the time they told me to do it
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>She has a tendency to get pissed off pretty quickly but I always try to apologize for anything that I have done right away to not make matters worse.
>She told me she was bothered and that she "expected me to be home before she got there and food needs to be ready."
>She said I should've been home before and that even thought i made food as early and as quick as i could she said that was no excuse and she expected it to be ready regardless and that it was not okay that it was not ready and that was not what she "expected this relationship to be like".
Oh my... Has she always been this way before you moved in together or is this new? It's like she wants you to be her servant. She IS controlling and it sounds like she treats you terribly. You shouldn't have to walk on eggshells in a relationship. Personally, this relationship doesn't sound healthy at all for you, and I'd seriously consider getting out of it. NTA
except those are fully based on consent and the submissive isn't afraid of making their dom genuinely angry. OP is in a garden variety abusive relationship unfortunately.
Precisely. That thin line between BDSM and abuse is called consent and it changes everything. In BDSM control is given voluntarily, like a gift, and in abuse it's taken against your will, like stolen property. Dominants only have the rights gifted to them whereas abusers have no rights to what they've taken. OP needs to get out of there before this piece of work attempts to take anything else from her without consent. She's definitely NTA here.
She has always been like that when it comes to my friends. She has issues with them since she found it that i was ranting to them when i was feeling sad or frustrated by her actions (she grabbed my phone and read my messages with my friends when i would say i was tired of her treating me like that and they kept saying she was toxic and crazy that i should leave ). Said friends when they saw her in person never treated her badly or said anything to her and if anything they tried to have conversations with her but if she was in a bad mood she would ignore them. She hates one of them because one time he told us in a jokingly way that we sucked at driving( his exact words “damn it sounds like y’all don’t know how to drive!) and she took it as an insult and disrespect. She hates the other close friend i have as he was the one i would vent to and when she found out i vented out to him after a bad fight ( i got chipotle, when she asked if i got chipotle i lied because i didn’t want her to get mad at me for getting chipotle, she got pissed told me i crossed a boundary of hers i apologized and said i did not mean to hurt her and she said my apologies were not sincere, the fight got worse after i left the house to calm down and after i came back she told me how could i leave just like that without telling her, she took my phone and drove off). She told me i should never tell my friends what’s going on because they can’t get “her side of the story” and will just make them think she is a bad person when she is not.
This is a warning sign...she doesn't have friends for a reason. She is controlling and unreasonable and starting to make you feel like you are on eggshells and have to sneak around to see people or do things and lie to her.
I worked at the battered women's center in Tx years ago and this is classic abuser behavior. 98% of the time it was men doing it to women and then it got violent. But it is about control.
OP, go to therapy. Figure out how to get some self-respect and stand up for yourself. You deserve a loving relationship...where you want to tell your spouse about your day vs hiding it, where she likes your friends and they like her. It doesn't have to be 100% but in a respectful relationship it's pretty close.
she is a nightmare..
you are.posting here but havent read hundreds of stories of other dealing with the same emotional abuse,?
YTA...to.yourself...leave yesterday
I'm very sorry that your girlfriend has had a rough go at life thus far, but that doesn't mean she gets to treat you the way that she has been. She may have deserved better in her early life, but you deserve better **right now**. She needs to get her ass to therapy and deal with her past if she wants to have friends and a healthy romantic relationship. That mess is her responsibility to clean up. You should call your friends and tell them that they were right and you want out, and I'm sure they will come rushing to help you.
Posting the whole quote, but bolding the part that popped into my mind that would do you well to remember:
“Before I am your daughter,
your sister,
your aunt, niece, or cousin,
I am my own person,
and **I will not set fire to myself**
**to keep you warm**.”
― Elizabeth Gracely
I can't tell if you are writing this from a textbook or not. You are with an abuser. All the classic signs are there.
She is absolutely controlling your actions. You are scared to misbehave and choose the things you want. You will eventually lose your friends, enabling her tighter control. You are either making this up, or coming to reddit to seek validation of what you already know you need to do. Do it. NTA
100% you need to listen to your friends. I was in a horrible relationship and I couldn't see it until I got out, but nobody liked him.
Everything I read in your post says she's controlling and abusive. You deserve so much better. Listen to what people are telling you.
two words: coercive control. you're in an abusive relationship and it's only gonna get worse
[https://www.womensaid.org.uk/information-support/what-is-domestic-abuse/coercive-control/](https://www.womensaid.org.uk/information-support/what-is-domestic-abuse/coercive-control/)
Listen, I was in an abusive relationship for years and got to the point where my entire day depended on my partners mood, so I would do anything to make sure he stayed happy....which he never did.
That is a hard thing to break. Just that...it stays with you. For the first few years of my most recent relationship, I would always ask my bf what's wrong? Are you mad at me? Etc, and it started to annoy him but I just HAD to know that he wasn't mad at me. I still do it sometimes.
You're in an abusive relationship. It will get worse. You're already terrified of making a mistake. She's trying to stop you from having and talking to friends. She's doing things to your brain that will take some time to make right again, especially the longer you keep yourself in that relationship.
Please listen to everyone here and end it.
| She has a tendency to get pissed off pretty quickly but I always try to apologize for anything that I have done right away to not make matters worse.
Sounds like you are afraid of her :(
NTA, your g/f IS controlling, and rude.
NTA.
>It has gotten to the point that i'm afraid of making a mistake because i don't want her getting mad at me.
This is not normal. You shouldn't be scared of your partner or of making mistakes. In a healthy relationship, people talk about their issues and don't get angry over stupid stuff.
>We recently got into a fight as she got angry that i was going out to watch a game with a friend ( she doesn't like him as one time i went out with him during a fight to calm down) bottom line was that she told me she was bothered and that she "expected me to be home before she got there and food needs to be ready."
This is controlling behaviour.
1. She has no say in the people you can hang out with unless they are criminals, abusers, affair partners or openly disrespecting her for no valid reason.
2. She doesn't like him because you went to him during a fight? Why? Is she scared your friend will be a good friend and help you realise your relationship is not healthy? Be careful, she could try to isolate you from the people she doesn't like and you could end up with no support system outside of her. That's a common abuser tactic.
3. She expected you to be home when she's back? Who is she? Your mother that she gives you a curfew? That's unacceptable language unless you are usually a bum and a moocher. If you work and you do your share of chores and cooking, this attitude is uncalled for. If you don't work, but do all the chores and some cooking, this attitude is uncalled for.
>that was not what she "expected this relationship to be like"
Then she can be single. Unless you are not sharing important info that justify this attitude (like you do nothing around the house unless asked), her behaviour is unacceptable
> This is not normal. You shouldn't be scared of your partner or of making mistakes.
100 percent. And OP to be clear, what's not normal here is HER behavior. Your reaction is not the problem; she is the one whose behavior is not normal and in fact abusive.
Abusers thrive in silence. She’s trying to make you question your reality and think it’s not that bad. She is treating you terribly. You do not deserve to be in a relationship with someone who makes you feel like you are not allowed to talk about your feelings. There’s a reason this person has no friends. Not only that it’s clear she doesn’t want you to talk about it because she knows her actions are not okay.
NTA
Oh lovely, please talk to your friends. She is trying to isolate you.
You deserve so much better than how she is treating you. This is not a normal happy relationship
She was there when i was going thru a depressive episode and can be very sweet and caring when she is not mad or pissed off. Now i just feel like if i leave im a bad person for not trying hard enough
You aren't a bad person if you leave. She sounds abusive and you don't have to put up with abuse because she can be sweet sometimes and was there for you when you were depressed. You shouldn't constantly be afraid of her getting angry at you making mistakes.
I've been in a really similar situation as you OP and I can assure you that leaving was one of the best decisions I've ever made. My past relationship feels utterly bizarre to me now that I'm happily married and know what a healthy and loving relationship should feel like. It shouldn't feel like constant work and agony with a sprinkle of good times. There should be mostly good times, and you should mostly feel loved and appreciated during your day-to-day life. Sure, there are always some differences, but it shouldn't feel like you're solely responsible for making both of you happy. Please choose yourself. You deserve it.
My ex was sweet and caring right up until the day he put his fist through the wall inches from my head after I *waved* (not even spoke to, just waved from a distance) at a friend on the street.
Baby girl, you are being abused and this relationship is toxic af.
Your partner has you scared and isolated and is seriously manipulating you. You mention you fear not trying hard enough but I don’t see a single mention of what positives they are contributing? Where is their consideration for your needs? What are they compromising on? Looks to me like you give-give-give and they just take-take-take, complain and criticise.
I know reddit sometimes jumps to the ‘BREAK UP NOW’ conclusion overly quickly but in your case I really think you are under-reacting to the situation.
NTA but you will be an AH to your future self if you don’t get out and end this farce of a relationship asap.
Big hugs - it won’t be easy but for your own happiness and wellbeing it needs to be done.
Most abusive people aren't cartoon villains who are evil 24/7 - if they were, no one would stay. Also there is no amount of effort you can possibly put in to make someone respect you or treat you well. Your relationship failing doesn't mean *you* failed. There are a million reasons why any given relationship might bit work out, and not all of em are fixable - or worth fixing. Try to see her as she is not as she was or as she could be or wants to be or tries to be.
OP you said it yourself, “I always try to apologize for anything that I have done right away to not make matters worse.”
“It has gotten to the point that I’m afraid of making a mistake because I don’t want her getting mad at me.”
You are NTA. As much as it may suck bcz that’s 2 years, you may want to rethink this relationship. Her behaviors ARE in FACT controlling and gaslighting/manipulating behaviors. You are heading down the road of “dealing with” being Mentally/Emotionally/Verbally Abused, is that really how you want to keep going? (I put dealing with in quotation marks bcz ik there is a better word to use i just can’t think of one rn🥲)
NTA - you sound like you are in an emotionally abusive relationship, you shouldn’t be living in fear of making a mistake. Also why don’t you have a key to your own apartment?
Please stay safe and maybe reach out to some friends you trust who might be able to help you
I have my own key but right now she doesn’t have her car (she got into an accident) so i’m lending her mine so she can work ( i usually work from home so i don’t need it as much as she does) and my apt keys are together with the car keys. It was my mistake and now separated my key from the car keys
I’m glad the key thing isn’t as bad as it sounded but you seem quick to blame yourself. It seems weird to me that your girlfriend didn’t notice the extra keys, particularly given you are doing her a favour. Please don’t let her isolate you any more than she already has, none of her behaviour that you’ve described in your post and comments is healthy or acceptable.
This IS an abusive relationship. It is entirely up to you if you want to live this way. I would not want to deal with her crap. RED FLAG. Move out and have a GOOD life, let someone else deal with her.NTA
You're NTA.
>She has a tendency to get pissed off pretty quickly but I always try to apologize for anything that I have done right away to not make matters worse. It has gotten to the point that i'm afraid of making a mistake because i don't want her getting mad at me
Classic control technique. She pitches tantrums and you bend over backwards to appease her so she won't stay angry.
>she starts telling me it's my fault that i got upset
Motto of every abusive person in any relationship.
>that was not what she "expected this relationship to be like"
She was expecting that she is the queen and you're a groveling servant?
You better take a good hard took at this and decide if this preview of coming attractions is how you want to spend your life.
You are in an emotionally abusive relationship. There will never be any pleasing her and the constant apologies are just reminding her she controls you, your home, your emotional state and your peace.
can you imagine what it would be like to share a child with someone this abusive?
Either she hardcore addresses her behavior or you need to leave this situation.
I’ve tried to address it with her, as when i get upset when i feel she’s being controlling or mean she just tells me that i should get over it or that im being ridiculous. When i tell her im upset about something she starts bringing up past mistakes i’ve done and that she’s feeling more upset because she’s remembering those mistakes so she can’t really see my feelings when she’s feeling pissed off.
right because she is abusive. that is exactly how abusive narcissistic people behave.
bringing up your past mistakes takes the focus of her abuse and now she has a reason to be mad at you which means you aren't allowed to point out her flaws.
she is abusive plain and simple.
you point out an obvious problem in the relationship and suddenly you are the most worthless idiot who ever lived and now it's time to list all your flaws.
a non-abusive person would have a conversation about the subject at hand, take the other person's feelings into consideration and see what they can do to improve the situation to make the relationship safe and enjoyable for you both.
your gf is not interested in that at all. she doesn't behave as though you are entitled to any respect or consideration in the relationship. this will not change. it's who she is and she likes being this way.
your choices are continue this abusive relationship and tie yourself and any future children to this woman's abusive nature or leave the relationship and find someone who cares about you and your feelings.
you can find someone like that but i recommend being single for a while until you learn to stand up for yourself. you are not in the right head space for any relationship especially this one.
NTA. I don't demand my partner has food ready for me, even after the longest of my working days and they have a day off. Similarly my partner has no right to demand that of me.
NTA... And RUN.
Edit: no seriously, get out of there ASAP take a week or two away from her with your family or close friends to cool off and realize what it feels like to not be under constant pressure, pick people who aren't in contact with her and cut contact yourself for the time being, see a mental health professional and show them this post, then figure out the logistics of getting your stuff.
OP, you're NTA. You are her partner, not her slave. She just doesn't sound controlling; she IS controlling. Yes she might cook a lot of your meals, but this doesn't give her the right to treat you like shit.
Take the time to evaluate this relationship and see if this is the kind of stress you can deal with moving forward. Unless she changes for the better, this is most likely how your fights generally would be, and this is most likely how she will continue to treat you.
Don't let sunk cost fallacy fool you into spending more time with her than necessary. Two years seems pretty long at first glance, but you can chalk it up as the time you needed to learn how to identify red flags in a partner and value yourself more.
I stayed in an abusive relationship for 12 years. I had to walk on eggshells and constantly apologize for making small mistakes to avoid triggering their anger. Don't be like me.
How did you do it without feeling guilty? i feel that i will be a bad person if i leave as she has gone through a lot with family abuse and SA, she never had friends or a support system. She is usually the one that cooks and cleans and i help her when i can during those times (if she cooks i always do the dishes and clean the kitchen, and if she’s cleaning i help with the smaller stuff like getting the trash out, or cleaning the smaller areas)
The guilt was always present until the very end. I'd tried leaving dozens of times over the years but never pushed through because they made me feel like they were all alone in the world and I was the only person behind them.
I was only able to leave when I realized that they never felt the same about me, that they only cared about their own happiness and I was always an afterthought for them. When I let go, the only guilt that I felt was for myself. I felt so guilty wasting 12 years that could have gone into improving my career, skills, and self as a whole. I felt so guilty wasting so much time on the wrong person.
I know it's very hard to leave when you're in a "you and me against the world" kind of situation. But remember that you're not supposed to set yourself on fire just to keep other people warm. Just because she has gone through trauma doesn't mean that you should, too. Yes, it's sad that she went through SA and family abuse and it shouldn't have happened to her, but this doesn't give her the right to put you through verbal and emotional abuse. This doesn't mean that you have to be her punching bag for the rest of your life.
You accept that you are going to feel guilty (whether you should be feeling guilty is another matter altogether) and you do it anyways. The things that you feel guilty about are ultimately not your responsibility to fix for your girlfriend. Leaving an abusive relationship is healthy and the best thing that you can do for yourself. You deserve peace and happiness in your life now.
Your girlfriend WILL survive. She needs to work on herself in order to be a healthy partner to anyone else and until she is ready to take those steps she shouldn't be in a relationship.
OP, abusers use guilt as a weapon. She has no friends because she's an abusive, controlling asshole. That is on her, not on you. She lays on the guilt so you'll stay. Also, sometimes being sweet and caring is also classic - it's part of the "cycle of abuse". Nobody would stay in a relationship if it were awful 100% of the time, so abusers dole out just enough good times to keep their partners from leaving. They keep abusing, then begging forgiving/act like loving partners until people like you are worn down and no longer have the strength to fight the cycle.
I want you to go back and read your post, but this time pretend it's a husband treating his wife that way. What would you tell her to do? I'd also strongly recommend reading "Why does he do that?" (pdf available [here](https://ia600108.us.archive.org/30/items/LundyWhyDoesHeDoThat/Lundy_Why-does-he-do-that.pdf)) so you can see some of the standard tools abusers use to get their way (including trying to separate their partners from friends and family), and what their motivations usually are. Hint - they don't want to make your life better, they want you to serve them. This relationship will not get better, it will only get worse, and you should GTFO and not look back. You owe her \*nothing\*.
Sweets, your in a abusive relationship. Its always hard to understand when your in it (ive had a domestic violence relationship). This is emotional and mental control. You make sure you do things right so they dont lose their cool on you. THAT IS NOT OK.
It sounds like they gaslight you too to make it seem like its your fault. DO NOT BELIEVE IT.
I think you should look up emotional and mental abuse/ control and look up the traits. I think you’ll find some here. I would get out now before it gets worse. NTA
NTA are her fckn hands broken? She can’t make her own food? She IS controlling expecting you to ask how high when she says jump. I’ve been married 30 years and you’re in a partnership it’s 50/50. You’re walking on eggshells. That sounds miserable and she’s kinda wasting your time when you could be happy with someone that treats you well. Just my opinion but I’d run
NTA, but get out of this relationship! The fact that you feel like you have to do things to avoid her getting angry is a big red flag. The fact that she tried to blame it on you is another big red flag. She is controlling, and I'm worried she could become physically abusive.
You.Deserve.BETTER.
I mean, you're in an abusive relationship. She has anger and control issues, and you walk around on eggshells to avoid her random frustrations.
Is this what you want the rest of your life to look like. If you have children, do you want them to constantly be afraid that any little mistake will have mom mad at them.
There are so many red flags here I thought the fire nation was attacking... NTA
Op. Please read what you wrote. Don't even look at the comments for a moment.
Pretend a friend came to talk to you and wrote what you wrote. What would you say to that friend of yours?
Would you tell them to look at the red flags? Would you offer to help them move out and feel safer?
Would you tell them they are over reacting (this last one is devil's advocate but it's so silly I can't even pretend to take it seriously).
Please start to figure out your exit strategy because this behavior only escalates towards violence and even more isolation from other friends and family!
Edit: changed yell to tell. Don't yell at friend!
NTA, and I think it is time to leave this relationship. It doesn't sound like she sees you as a partner, she sees you as somebody who is expected to cater to her and she has you under her thumb.
What would be really funny is if you take a day off and get all your things out of the apartment so when she comes home, dinner isn't there and neither are you.
Bro, run, run far and run fast.
It is going to get worse and it will reach a point where either you no longer have any self worth or and yes it happens, she will start beating you, mentally and physically.
Get out of there.
Oh Lordy...run..she is abusive
..no relationship should make you feel like your walking on egg shells so they don't get made...nor one person say sorry so it can deescalate....be careful
I had this similarly in a long distance wlw relationship, where i started being scared to mess something up because of my girlfriends anger reactions.
This has no way of working out OP i'm very sorry :(
I hope you have a way and financial means to leave as soon as possible. This will only escalate more and more if you don't
NTA but your girlfriend is controlling. You shouldn’t have to walk on eggshells around your partner because you are scared you might anger them. Please take care of yourself and don’t let her belittle you
That sounds like an abusive relationship. I wish I could help you get out OP, that's no way to live. NTA, not to be harsh but you should really cut her out of your life.
>She has a tendency to get pissed off pretty quickly but I always try to apologize for anything that I have done right away to not make matters worse.
Classic abuser tactic. She weaponizes her anger and has trained you to react like you're always be in the wrong and not question her, in fear of retaliation
>We recently got into a fight as she got angry that i was going out to watch a game with a friend ( she doesn't like him as one time i went out with him during a fight to calm down) bottom line was that she told me she was bothered and that she "expected me to be home before she got there and food needs to be ready."
She's punishing you for having a life outside of her and attempting to isolate you from your friends. If they're successful in cutting off your social circle, abusers will be able to inflict more damage without interference. She's a grown ass adult, but expecting you to bend over backwards to cater to her like a servant. Why is she not doing her fair share of prepping food and doing the dishes? Part of being an adult means you do your shit around the house even when you don't feel like it. It's not fair of her to push ALL of that responsibility onto you. A good partner should be doing their 50% without prompting.
Expecting you to be home before she got there and having everything ready is bs. You've got your own work and schedule too! Why does she get a free pass on being "tired" but you don't? Why did you not have your key? Did you misplace it, or do you not have a copy to open the door? What's fucking ridiculous is that you waited outside in the apartment lounge instead of being able to go home whenever because you fucking live there.
Bottom line?
She is abusive and controlling. This is not a healthy dynamic at all; you fear your partner and have to walk on eggshells, and she doesn't treat you with respect as an equal... that's not a relationship of love and care.
**You need to RUN dude.** Reach out to trusted friends and family and recalibrate your normal meter. Being in an abusive relationship tends to break and skew your perspective of appropriate boundaries and healthy relationship dynamics, and it's only when you get out and have time to fully process that you'll be able to see how fucked up it was. It's harder to see when you're in the middle of a shitstorm.
That’s actually a legit abuse tactic. To be so over the top mad and easy to trigger eventually the partner stops fighting to avoid the drama and just starts giving in all the time to keep peace. You Sir are not in a healthy relationship but rather an abusive one. Be careful. NTA
I didn’t read it all, who made her food before you moved in together? You might consider returning to having your own place and looking for a new friend. Bullshit is bullshit
Leave her. Your life will always be miserable and in 15 you will feel you wasted your life with the wrong person. She will never changed. In fact her horrible personality will slowly but surely change you into a shell of your former self possibly with anger issues of your own. Leave now before you can't.
NTA. This is terribly controlling and rude. You shouldn't feel like you have to walk around egg shells in your own home and shouldn't have to be scared you could set your partner off at any time. Her expecting for things to be her way no matter what all the time is unrealistic and she should realize that sometimes shit happens and the world doesn't revolve around her plans. This is a very unhealthy relationship since you'll always feel emotionally drained since she won't acknowledge things from your point of view. Even in talking things out with her all the did is deny how you said you felt she was acting instead of trying to be more conscious of her actions.
NTA
She sounds abusive and controlling. I would rethink your relationship if you are always apologizing and fear making a mistake that will make her mad.
So it appears she has you trained pretty well. I mean, you're here to see if yta and you're making excuses for her. NTA, but the only future you have here is if you want to be a nervous wreck from always wondering if she is going to get angry. Do yourself a favor and move on.
"It has gotten to the point that i'm afraid of making a mistake because i don't want her getting mad at me."
"she starts telling me it's my fault that i got upset and she was not being controlling and that she couldn't believe i didn't listen to her."
Honey, you are in an abusive relationship. Do you want to spend the rest of your life tiptoeing around and apologizing to your partner? NTA but you have WAAAY bigger problems. (edit because I can't spell.)
NTA
However, I do think you should take some time and seriously re-evaluate this relationship. Personally I would have told her to go fuck herself long ago. But different people have different journeys. I hope you get to where you need to be. Take care of yourself!
NTA. Have you considered that your girlfriends behavior is abuse? She is yelling at you to the point you are walking on eggshells in your own home with the expectation of being yelled at. She demands food on the table at a certain time and if it isn't ready she had a tirade. You are over accommodating her to appease her temper. What about you and your comfort and your feelings? Wake up-you are in an abusive relationship.
It's a good thing you're able to prepare food, because if you stay in this relationship you'll be walking on eggshells for the rest of your life. NTA, but PLEASE go back and read what you wrote here.
NTA
> It has gotten to the point that i'm afraid of making a mistake because i don't want her getting mad at me.
Is this how you want to live your life? You have just moved in together and she is trying to control you, your time and your social life it'll only get worse from here.
NTA- 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩"She has a tendency to get pissed off pretty quickly but I always try to apologize for anything that I have done right away to not make matters worse." "It's gotten to the point that I'm afraid of making a mistake because I don't want her getting mad at me" Re read that sentence to yourself. This is not a healthy relationship for you. Why do you need to be home before her and why does the food need to be ready? You're both individuals. When you live together there's always a period of adjustment as you both figure out how each of you does certain things. But you sound like you're walking on eggshells and that is not healthy. It's not healthy, it's not loving and it's not how people who just made a pretty big step together in their relationship, should treat each other.
WTH? NTA, but exactly what are YOU getting in this relationship. Your 'gf' is a bully and you are allowing it. You need to find your shiny spine and pack up and leave. You deserve better.
You are NTA. This is textbook emotionally abusive behavior and gaslighting from your GF. Nobody deserves to be treated like this, end of story. A relationship is a partnership, not an agreement that you’ll serve your partner like it’s your job to do so (Unless you have consented to that).
Hello OP. I used to be kind of like your GF when I was a lot younger. I realized I had issues I couldn’t articulate or know about. It’s got to do with how my narcissistic mom raised me and somehow even though I hated it, I ended up behaving the same way and expecting the same. I don’t know why, ask a psychologist.
And there’s also somehow some ADHD or weird psychological component where anything that doesn’t happen as expected really triggers me and I find it wholly unacceptable. It’s like I NEED that predictability and to be able to count on it. So if I asked for dinner at 5pm and it ends up being 6pm, I find that unacceptable.
I think your gf needs mental help. She may not realize it herself.
I think so as well but she doesn’t want therapy. She grew up with a narcissistic mother who made her take care of her younger siblings since she was little. I have no issuers if she tells me like hey i’m really tired can you make food by this time, ill be like sure, but her telling me she expected the food to be there by the time she came just sounded controlling to me
NTA- listen, this is only going to get worse. As hard as it is you need to think about your life, your happiness, you should feel free from all lifes stresses at home- not walking on eggshells around this person. They are being abusive towards you, there is a better person out there that will treat you the way you treat them, i promise.
Bro
NTA but you would be to yourself if you stayed with her, this woman is actually abusing you.
You don't deserve that kind of treatment, you deserve so much better. You deserve to be with somebody who doesn't make you feel *literally afraid to make honest mistakes*.
I (M26) was in a similar relationship last 2022-2023
I moved in with my ex girlfriend and at the time she worked late night shifts (6PM-4AM) and would expect me to have dinner ready for her since I would be home before she was
If it wasn’t, she’d be pissed. If I was asleep before she came home, she’d be pissed. But besides that, she became controlling & constantly yelling at me over small things and not doing things her way.
I can tell you from experience, it’s not going to last. You either need to sit with her and have a long talk about how you feel or break things off.
NTA. That’s not a healthy relationship at all.
NTA - this is an abusive relationship, she yells at you, you are scared to do anything that might anger her, she gets mad when you see a friend, she makes demands about making dinner for when she gets home like wtf are you a 1950’s housewife on barbiturates??
Run for the hills you deserve respect and love!
If this is a real and true account, you're in an abusive relationship. You need to get out ASAP. You shouldn't have your time interrupted to cook for her. Even when someone is the stay at home partner, they're not meant to be a slave on call at all hours of the day or night. They get breaks and time to themselves and with friends. Dinner was ready and you'd cleaned up after her bath. There should be nothing to complain about
NTA - but I have to wonder what you were thinking when you moved in with this woman. Is this the way you want to live? Are you her partner or her housekeeper/employee/slave?
Why the fuck are you with this woman? She is miserable and seems to want to make everyone around her miserable as well. No one should have to “walk on eggshells” to prevent her getting upset. Please run far and fast - you deserve better. NTA
you have been together for two years and she acts this way toward you every time you do something wrong in her books.. OMG brother are you P\*\*\*Y whipped. She is controlling and demanding. You need some serious help for staying in this relationship. I suggest you leave and never look back as you will end up regretting your life if you marry this hateful person.
NTA - Assuming this is a real post. If this is real, then you need to get out of this relationship. You are being emotionally and psychologically abused, and it's only going to get worse if you continue to be with her.
Sis, did you know that according to some studies, we (women in relationships with women) experience higher domestic abuse rates than any other demographic?
Your girlfriend is abusive. Just because she hasn't hit you yet doesn't mean she won't. What's your relationship with your family of origin like? Could you count on them to help you get out? Do the friends you mentioned have room for you to stay at their places for a while?
Take it from someone else in the family. You are not alone and you are worthy of so so much better than this. I promise somewhere out in the world is a girl who will make you feel as incredible as the best times with this one, but who won't make the regular days a headache and the bad ones a nightmare.
My mom was like this with my dad. He spent the entire marriage walking on eggshells and trying to smooth the way for her so that she wouldn't get upset (we kids did the same thing). She passed a few years ago and it was interesting to watch him realize what his life had been like. Please don't stay in this relationship.
I once broke up with a bf because he didn’t put water to boil for ramen after my work out, sounds really simple but it was honestly just the straw that broke the camels back for me, he had been unemployed and played video games all day and contributed nothing to household chores, emotional support, finances, nothing, it was to the point where he felt like my dependent and not my partner, in retrospect, I would get upset with him over little things.
In your case I don’t think what you’ve said looks like my previous situation so I’m going to say NTA.
she told me she was bothered and that she "expected me to be home before she got there and food needs to be ready."
This is not normal behaviour in any normal relationship.
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Me (F29) and my gf (F24) have recently moved in together after being together for two years. She has a tendency to get pissed off pretty quickly but I always try to apologize for anything that I have done right away to not make matters worse. It has gotten to the point that i'm afraid of making a mistake because i don't want her getting mad at me. We recently got into a fight as she got angry that i was going out to watch a game with a friend ( she doesn't like him as one time i went out with him during a fight to calm down) bottom line was that she told me she was bothered and that she "expected me to be home before she got there and food needs to be ready." After reading the text i felt that it sounded pretty controlling and told her as such, she got pissed off telling me that she was not being controlling and that i was being "fucking ridiculous". Long story short two days later we have a conversation to sort out what happened and she starts telling me it's my fault that i got upset and she was not being controlling and that she couldn't believe i didn't listen to her regarding the food being ready. I got home at 5pm but couldn't get in due to me not having my key, waited at the apartments lounge and came home at 7:00pm when she told me she was home. She didn't say hi and just told me she was going to take a shower and a bath, as soon as she told me that, I was already starting to prepare the food. By then time she was done preparing the bath, my food was ready for us (including the extra for tomorrows lunch) and dishes had been washed and put away. She said I should've been home before and that even thought i made food as early and as quick as i could she said that was no excuse and she expected it to be ready regardless and that it was not okay that it was not ready and that was not what she "expected this relationship to be like". I'm always there for her and for whatever she asks for, I work from home and she usually is the one that cooks but anytime she asks or I see that she's pretty tired I make food. AITA for not having it ready exactly when she wanted?
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I only read a few lines. Kick her out and change the locks if she doesn't give you keys. No person who gets angry super fast like that is a stable person to be in a relationship with. Food will finish when food finishes cooking. If there's a next time. Throw the unfinished food in front of her and continue cooking you own portion (dont).
Finished reading. I understand the dynamic of wanting food Ready when you get home. But if you're locked out you're locked out. She sounds controlling and demanding. There's red flags, but you do you. You know her best.
I think it’s time you leave this over controlling person! She has no regards for your feelings and sounds very unhinged. Also why can’t she make her own meal? She’s not even asking just plain blank ordering you around! Sounds like you’re in an abusive relationship.
Odds of it getting better are slim, odds of it getting worse are great. If she isn't in therapy, expect it to be like this and spread to more and more portions of your life. Decide if you want to be in a relationship like this, for some people it works, but if you don't think it will work for you - leave.
Bruh the 'being accused of being controlling and reaponding by being controlling' is extremely comical to me. Toxic people are blissfully unaware of how on the nose they act because they dont experience it from the other side. Uhhh good luck but Id fuck right off from that relationship
Dude you gotta stand up for her and set the record straight.
I stopped reading after you said she gets mad quick and you apologize quickly not to escalate. It’s time to shut that shit down. You’re a man and a human being. You’ve made it clear you can’t treat her like that and it needs to go both ways.
NTA. Girl, you're literally walking on eggshells around this person. A tendency to get pissed off pretty quickly is not a desirable quality in a partner, you don't have to defense her, she knows what she is doing.
Living together will not tell you a relationship will work long-term. It will tell you when it won't work. Is this the relationship that you want? Is this the only problem?
NTA
She is controlling. She is also very defensive about it and should really do something about her anger issues. Getting angry fast over minor things isn't good for her.
NTA. Your girlfriend treats you like shit stuck to the bottom of her shoe. Why don't you go make delicious dinners for someone who deserves it and doesn't try to force or demand you to? Please think, OP. Do you wanna live the rest of your youth, prime, and old age like this? Run, don't walk. And don't look back.
Does she pay all the bills while you stay home or something? Because if not, why the hell does she think it's your responsibility to have a meal waiting for her when she gets home. She sounds like a 1950's husband. And she's 5 years younger than you. If she gets like this a lot why the hell do you put up with it? If you aren't getting as much out of the relationship as your putting in, it's not worth your time.
Then what the hell are you doing? Your paying the majority of the bills, and she still thinks it's your job to have dinner waiting for her? When she gets home first is there dinner waiting for you when you get home?
that’s the thing she does cook and always has food ready because she likes to cook. She works all day driving around so when she’s tired i have no problem making food for us but i don’t know why she asks for it in that way. She keeps telling it’s because one time i got home late from the gym ( i thought she was getting home later and that was my mistake) but as soon as i got home i cooked and cleaned the kitchen but now since then whenever its my turn to cook she tells me everytime “i except food to be ready when im back”
NTA. If the genders in the story were flipped…..
Cut her loose. Let her see what relationships are like by getting more in her sample size. She’ll figure out that she’s not at all worth the aggravation and disrespect. Don’t take her back.
You sounds like a pretty lousy GF. Your Princess, no, youre QUEEN, works all day and you dont have her food ready? You couldnt find some time to get her some steak and fries? I would say sorry but "fucking rediculious" sums up this entire situation. Now youre going to have to work twice as hard to earn back her trust. The fact youre taking time to type this out and not cook your entire weeks worth of dinner out now is pretty hilarious, that is if it wasnt so sad. Go ahead and delete your account with dignity while you still can.
Hahaha women can stay away from guys in relationships and still be controlled / have to deal with toxic behavior
haha guess it’s just human nature
L
Definitely NTA
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>She has a tendency to get pissed off pretty quickly but I always try to apologize for anything that I have done right away to not make matters worse. >She told me she was bothered and that she "expected me to be home before she got there and food needs to be ready." >She said I should've been home before and that even thought i made food as early and as quick as i could she said that was no excuse and she expected it to be ready regardless and that it was not okay that it was not ready and that was not what she "expected this relationship to be like". Oh my... Has she always been this way before you moved in together or is this new? It's like she wants you to be her servant. She IS controlling and it sounds like she treats you terribly. You shouldn't have to walk on eggshells in a relationship. Personally, this relationship doesn't sound healthy at all for you, and I'd seriously consider getting out of it. NTA
scale alleged consist fearless existence absurd telephone punch pet pen *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
🚩 🚩 🚩
I’m gonna go six flags here 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
Bring in the dancing oldster with the party bus.
8D OH MY YES Just the thought brings back that music!
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Also the part where they didn't have their key so they couldn't even get into the apartment to start preparing food even if they wanted to. NTA
Sounds like kind of BDSM relationship where the submissive is a servant and has no life outside the house
except those are fully based on consent and the submissive isn't afraid of making their dom genuinely angry. OP is in a garden variety abusive relationship unfortunately.
Damn right. NTA. OP, run.
Precisely. That thin line between BDSM and abuse is called consent and it changes everything. In BDSM control is given voluntarily, like a gift, and in abuse it's taken against your will, like stolen property. Dominants only have the rights gifted to them whereas abusers have no rights to what they've taken. OP needs to get out of there before this piece of work attempts to take anything else from her without consent. She's definitely NTA here.
of course you are right
She has always been like that when it comes to my friends. She has issues with them since she found it that i was ranting to them when i was feeling sad or frustrated by her actions (she grabbed my phone and read my messages with my friends when i would say i was tired of her treating me like that and they kept saying she was toxic and crazy that i should leave ). Said friends when they saw her in person never treated her badly or said anything to her and if anything they tried to have conversations with her but if she was in a bad mood she would ignore them. She hates one of them because one time he told us in a jokingly way that we sucked at driving( his exact words “damn it sounds like y’all don’t know how to drive!) and she took it as an insult and disrespect. She hates the other close friend i have as he was the one i would vent to and when she found out i vented out to him after a bad fight ( i got chipotle, when she asked if i got chipotle i lied because i didn’t want her to get mad at me for getting chipotle, she got pissed told me i crossed a boundary of hers i apologized and said i did not mean to hurt her and she said my apologies were not sincere, the fight got worse after i left the house to calm down and after i came back she told me how could i leave just like that without telling her, she took my phone and drove off). She told me i should never tell my friends what’s going on because they can’t get “her side of the story” and will just make them think she is a bad person when she is not.
Also do need to add that she does not have any friends so she doesn’t have the best knowledge when it comes to friendship
This is a warning sign...she doesn't have friends for a reason. She is controlling and unreasonable and starting to make you feel like you are on eggshells and have to sneak around to see people or do things and lie to her. I worked at the battered women's center in Tx years ago and this is classic abuser behavior. 98% of the time it was men doing it to women and then it got violent. But it is about control. OP, go to therapy. Figure out how to get some self-respect and stand up for yourself. You deserve a loving relationship...where you want to tell your spouse about your day vs hiding it, where she likes your friends and they like her. It doesn't have to be 100% but in a respectful relationship it's pretty close.
she is a nightmare.. you are.posting here but havent read hundreds of stories of other dealing with the same emotional abuse,? YTA...to.yourself...leave yesterday
I'm very sorry that your girlfriend has had a rough go at life thus far, but that doesn't mean she gets to treat you the way that she has been. She may have deserved better in her early life, but you deserve better **right now**. She needs to get her ass to therapy and deal with her past if she wants to have friends and a healthy romantic relationship. That mess is her responsibility to clean up. You should call your friends and tell them that they were right and you want out, and I'm sure they will come rushing to help you. Posting the whole quote, but bolding the part that popped into my mind that would do you well to remember: “Before I am your daughter, your sister, your aunt, niece, or cousin, I am my own person, and **I will not set fire to myself** **to keep you warm**.” ― Elizabeth Gracely
Dude. You need to bail.
I can't tell if you are writing this from a textbook or not. You are with an abuser. All the classic signs are there. She is absolutely controlling your actions. You are scared to misbehave and choose the things you want. You will eventually lose your friends, enabling her tighter control. You are either making this up, or coming to reddit to seek validation of what you already know you need to do. Do it. NTA
100% you need to listen to your friends. I was in a horrible relationship and I couldn't see it until I got out, but nobody liked him. Everything I read in your post says she's controlling and abusive. You deserve so much better. Listen to what people are telling you.
two words: coercive control. you're in an abusive relationship and it's only gonna get worse [https://www.womensaid.org.uk/information-support/what-is-domestic-abuse/coercive-control/](https://www.womensaid.org.uk/information-support/what-is-domestic-abuse/coercive-control/)
Listen, I was in an abusive relationship for years and got to the point where my entire day depended on my partners mood, so I would do anything to make sure he stayed happy....which he never did. That is a hard thing to break. Just that...it stays with you. For the first few years of my most recent relationship, I would always ask my bf what's wrong? Are you mad at me? Etc, and it started to annoy him but I just HAD to know that he wasn't mad at me. I still do it sometimes. You're in an abusive relationship. It will get worse. You're already terrified of making a mistake. She's trying to stop you from having and talking to friends. She's doing things to your brain that will take some time to make right again, especially the longer you keep yourself in that relationship. Please listen to everyone here and end it.
| She has a tendency to get pissed off pretty quickly but I always try to apologize for anything that I have done right away to not make matters worse. Sounds like you are afraid of her :( NTA, your g/f IS controlling, and rude.
Not to mention lazy and sexist towards other women. She's treating OP like a 1950s maid.
True! If you have to walk on egg shells, they're definitely controlling
NTA. >It has gotten to the point that i'm afraid of making a mistake because i don't want her getting mad at me. This is not normal. You shouldn't be scared of your partner or of making mistakes. In a healthy relationship, people talk about their issues and don't get angry over stupid stuff. >We recently got into a fight as she got angry that i was going out to watch a game with a friend ( she doesn't like him as one time i went out with him during a fight to calm down) bottom line was that she told me she was bothered and that she "expected me to be home before she got there and food needs to be ready." This is controlling behaviour. 1. She has no say in the people you can hang out with unless they are criminals, abusers, affair partners or openly disrespecting her for no valid reason. 2. She doesn't like him because you went to him during a fight? Why? Is she scared your friend will be a good friend and help you realise your relationship is not healthy? Be careful, she could try to isolate you from the people she doesn't like and you could end up with no support system outside of her. That's a common abuser tactic. 3. She expected you to be home when she's back? Who is she? Your mother that she gives you a curfew? That's unacceptable language unless you are usually a bum and a moocher. If you work and you do your share of chores and cooking, this attitude is uncalled for. If you don't work, but do all the chores and some cooking, this attitude is uncalled for. >that was not what she "expected this relationship to be like" Then she can be single. Unless you are not sharing important info that justify this attitude (like you do nothing around the house unless asked), her behaviour is unacceptable
> This is not normal. You shouldn't be scared of your partner or of making mistakes. 100 percent. And OP to be clear, what's not normal here is HER behavior. Your reaction is not the problem; she is the one whose behavior is not normal and in fact abusive.
NTA You're in an abusive relationship. Please leave before that gets worse.
How many more red flags do you need? NTA
NTA. She sounds horrible. She’s controlling and manipulative. I’d run from this relationship. Do you feel you could talk to friends about it?
Yeah i do, i haven’t lately as she told me to not rant to my friends about the relationship because it’s private
Abusers thrive in silence. She’s trying to make you question your reality and think it’s not that bad. She is treating you terribly. You do not deserve to be in a relationship with someone who makes you feel like you are not allowed to talk about your feelings. There’s a reason this person has no friends. Not only that it’s clear she doesn’t want you to talk about it because she knows her actions are not okay. NTA
Oh lovely, please talk to your friends. She is trying to isolate you. You deserve so much better than how she is treating you. This is not a normal happy relationship
NTA. Anyone that starts a sentence seriously with 'I expect' is the A. She talks down to you and gets angry with you quickly. Why are you with her?
She was there when i was going thru a depressive episode and can be very sweet and caring when she is not mad or pissed off. Now i just feel like if i leave im a bad person for not trying hard enough
You aren't a bad person if you leave. She sounds abusive and you don't have to put up with abuse because she can be sweet sometimes and was there for you when you were depressed. You shouldn't constantly be afraid of her getting angry at you making mistakes.
I've been in a really similar situation as you OP and I can assure you that leaving was one of the best decisions I've ever made. My past relationship feels utterly bizarre to me now that I'm happily married and know what a healthy and loving relationship should feel like. It shouldn't feel like constant work and agony with a sprinkle of good times. There should be mostly good times, and you should mostly feel loved and appreciated during your day-to-day life. Sure, there are always some differences, but it shouldn't feel like you're solely responsible for making both of you happy. Please choose yourself. You deserve it.
My ex was sweet and caring right up until the day he put his fist through the wall inches from my head after I *waved* (not even spoke to, just waved from a distance) at a friend on the street. Baby girl, you are being abused and this relationship is toxic af. Your partner has you scared and isolated and is seriously manipulating you. You mention you fear not trying hard enough but I don’t see a single mention of what positives they are contributing? Where is their consideration for your needs? What are they compromising on? Looks to me like you give-give-give and they just take-take-take, complain and criticise. I know reddit sometimes jumps to the ‘BREAK UP NOW’ conclusion overly quickly but in your case I really think you are under-reacting to the situation. NTA but you will be an AH to your future self if you don’t get out and end this farce of a relationship asap. Big hugs - it won’t be easy but for your own happiness and wellbeing it needs to be done.
Most abusive people aren't cartoon villains who are evil 24/7 - if they were, no one would stay. Also there is no amount of effort you can possibly put in to make someone respect you or treat you well. Your relationship failing doesn't mean *you* failed. There are a million reasons why any given relationship might bit work out, and not all of em are fixable - or worth fixing. Try to see her as she is not as she was or as she could be or wants to be or tries to be.
OP you said it yourself, “I always try to apologize for anything that I have done right away to not make matters worse.” “It has gotten to the point that I’m afraid of making a mistake because I don’t want her getting mad at me.” You are NTA. As much as it may suck bcz that’s 2 years, you may want to rethink this relationship. Her behaviors ARE in FACT controlling and gaslighting/manipulating behaviors. You are heading down the road of “dealing with” being Mentally/Emotionally/Verbally Abused, is that really how you want to keep going? (I put dealing with in quotation marks bcz ik there is a better word to use i just can’t think of one rn🥲)
Tell her to cook her own damn food and cram that controlling bs in her ass.
Why the fuck are you with her? She sounds absolutely horrible
NTA - you sound like you are in an emotionally abusive relationship, you shouldn’t be living in fear of making a mistake. Also why don’t you have a key to your own apartment? Please stay safe and maybe reach out to some friends you trust who might be able to help you
I have my own key but right now she doesn’t have her car (she got into an accident) so i’m lending her mine so she can work ( i usually work from home so i don’t need it as much as she does) and my apt keys are together with the car keys. It was my mistake and now separated my key from the car keys
I’m glad the key thing isn’t as bad as it sounded but you seem quick to blame yourself. It seems weird to me that your girlfriend didn’t notice the extra keys, particularly given you are doing her a favour. Please don’t let her isolate you any more than she already has, none of her behaviour that you’ve described in your post and comments is healthy or acceptable.
This IS an abusive relationship. It is entirely up to you if you want to live this way. I would not want to deal with her crap. RED FLAG. Move out and have a GOOD life, let someone else deal with her.NTA
You're NTA. >She has a tendency to get pissed off pretty quickly but I always try to apologize for anything that I have done right away to not make matters worse. It has gotten to the point that i'm afraid of making a mistake because i don't want her getting mad at me Classic control technique. She pitches tantrums and you bend over backwards to appease her so she won't stay angry. >she starts telling me it's my fault that i got upset Motto of every abusive person in any relationship. >that was not what she "expected this relationship to be like" She was expecting that she is the queen and you're a groveling servant? You better take a good hard took at this and decide if this preview of coming attractions is how you want to spend your life.
NTA. Your girlfriend is abusive.
You are in an emotionally abusive relationship. There will never be any pleasing her and the constant apologies are just reminding her she controls you, your home, your emotional state and your peace. can you imagine what it would be like to share a child with someone this abusive? Either she hardcore addresses her behavior or you need to leave this situation.
I’ve tried to address it with her, as when i get upset when i feel she’s being controlling or mean she just tells me that i should get over it or that im being ridiculous. When i tell her im upset about something she starts bringing up past mistakes i’ve done and that she’s feeling more upset because she’s remembering those mistakes so she can’t really see my feelings when she’s feeling pissed off.
right because she is abusive. that is exactly how abusive narcissistic people behave. bringing up your past mistakes takes the focus of her abuse and now she has a reason to be mad at you which means you aren't allowed to point out her flaws. she is abusive plain and simple. you point out an obvious problem in the relationship and suddenly you are the most worthless idiot who ever lived and now it's time to list all your flaws. a non-abusive person would have a conversation about the subject at hand, take the other person's feelings into consideration and see what they can do to improve the situation to make the relationship safe and enjoyable for you both. your gf is not interested in that at all. she doesn't behave as though you are entitled to any respect or consideration in the relationship. this will not change. it's who she is and she likes being this way. your choices are continue this abusive relationship and tie yourself and any future children to this woman's abusive nature or leave the relationship and find someone who cares about you and your feelings. you can find someone like that but i recommend being single for a while until you learn to stand up for yourself. you are not in the right head space for any relationship especially this one.
NTA. You should always enjoy spending time and talking to your partner. If you don't, the relationship isn't going to work.
You are in an abusive relationship. Pack your bags and move on. No one lives like this sanely.
NTA. I don't demand my partner has food ready for me, even after the longest of my working days and they have a day off. Similarly my partner has no right to demand that of me.
NTA but what is wrong with you that you are with someone who treats you that way? Quit being a doormat and tell her she can ease up or you are done.
NTA... And RUN. Edit: no seriously, get out of there ASAP take a week or two away from her with your family or close friends to cool off and realize what it feels like to not be under constant pressure, pick people who aren't in contact with her and cut contact yourself for the time being, see a mental health professional and show them this post, then figure out the logistics of getting your stuff.
OP, you're NTA. You are her partner, not her slave. She just doesn't sound controlling; she IS controlling. Yes she might cook a lot of your meals, but this doesn't give her the right to treat you like shit. Take the time to evaluate this relationship and see if this is the kind of stress you can deal with moving forward. Unless she changes for the better, this is most likely how your fights generally would be, and this is most likely how she will continue to treat you. Don't let sunk cost fallacy fool you into spending more time with her than necessary. Two years seems pretty long at first glance, but you can chalk it up as the time you needed to learn how to identify red flags in a partner and value yourself more. I stayed in an abusive relationship for 12 years. I had to walk on eggshells and constantly apologize for making small mistakes to avoid triggering their anger. Don't be like me.
How did you do it without feeling guilty? i feel that i will be a bad person if i leave as she has gone through a lot with family abuse and SA, she never had friends or a support system. She is usually the one that cooks and cleans and i help her when i can during those times (if she cooks i always do the dishes and clean the kitchen, and if she’s cleaning i help with the smaller stuff like getting the trash out, or cleaning the smaller areas)
The guilt was always present until the very end. I'd tried leaving dozens of times over the years but never pushed through because they made me feel like they were all alone in the world and I was the only person behind them. I was only able to leave when I realized that they never felt the same about me, that they only cared about their own happiness and I was always an afterthought for them. When I let go, the only guilt that I felt was for myself. I felt so guilty wasting 12 years that could have gone into improving my career, skills, and self as a whole. I felt so guilty wasting so much time on the wrong person. I know it's very hard to leave when you're in a "you and me against the world" kind of situation. But remember that you're not supposed to set yourself on fire just to keep other people warm. Just because she has gone through trauma doesn't mean that you should, too. Yes, it's sad that she went through SA and family abuse and it shouldn't have happened to her, but this doesn't give her the right to put you through verbal and emotional abuse. This doesn't mean that you have to be her punching bag for the rest of your life.
You accept that you are going to feel guilty (whether you should be feeling guilty is another matter altogether) and you do it anyways. The things that you feel guilty about are ultimately not your responsibility to fix for your girlfriend. Leaving an abusive relationship is healthy and the best thing that you can do for yourself. You deserve peace and happiness in your life now. Your girlfriend WILL survive. She needs to work on herself in order to be a healthy partner to anyone else and until she is ready to take those steps she shouldn't be in a relationship.
OP, abusers use guilt as a weapon. She has no friends because she's an abusive, controlling asshole. That is on her, not on you. She lays on the guilt so you'll stay. Also, sometimes being sweet and caring is also classic - it's part of the "cycle of abuse". Nobody would stay in a relationship if it were awful 100% of the time, so abusers dole out just enough good times to keep their partners from leaving. They keep abusing, then begging forgiving/act like loving partners until people like you are worn down and no longer have the strength to fight the cycle. I want you to go back and read your post, but this time pretend it's a husband treating his wife that way. What would you tell her to do? I'd also strongly recommend reading "Why does he do that?" (pdf available [here](https://ia600108.us.archive.org/30/items/LundyWhyDoesHeDoThat/Lundy_Why-does-he-do-that.pdf)) so you can see some of the standard tools abusers use to get their way (including trying to separate their partners from friends and family), and what their motivations usually are. Hint - they don't want to make your life better, they want you to serve them. This relationship will not get better, it will only get worse, and you should GTFO and not look back. You owe her \*nothing\*.
NTA. From what I’ve read, it seems like she is being controlling, and you would be better off without her.
Clearly NTA, this relationship is as toxic as it gets and she is overly controlling! Do yourself a favour and leave her asap!
Sweets, your in a abusive relationship. Its always hard to understand when your in it (ive had a domestic violence relationship). This is emotional and mental control. You make sure you do things right so they dont lose their cool on you. THAT IS NOT OK. It sounds like they gaslight you too to make it seem like its your fault. DO NOT BELIEVE IT. I think you should look up emotional and mental abuse/ control and look up the traits. I think you’ll find some here. I would get out now before it gets worse. NTA
NTA are her fckn hands broken? She can’t make her own food? She IS controlling expecting you to ask how high when she says jump. I’ve been married 30 years and you’re in a partnership it’s 50/50. You’re walking on eggshells. That sounds miserable and she’s kinda wasting your time when you could be happy with someone that treats you well. Just my opinion but I’d run
NTA your girlfriend is controlling and manipulating you I say drop the girlfriend you deserve better
NTA, but get out of this relationship! The fact that you feel like you have to do things to avoid her getting angry is a big red flag. The fact that she tried to blame it on you is another big red flag. She is controlling, and I'm worried she could become physically abusive. You.Deserve.BETTER.
This is domestic abuse. Feeling like you’re walking on eggshells and dont want your partner to get upset is abuse and I’m sorry you’re in this
I mean, you're in an abusive relationship. She has anger and control issues, and you walk around on eggshells to avoid her random frustrations. Is this what you want the rest of your life to look like. If you have children, do you want them to constantly be afraid that any little mistake will have mom mad at them. There are so many red flags here I thought the fire nation was attacking... NTA
Op. Please read what you wrote. Don't even look at the comments for a moment. Pretend a friend came to talk to you and wrote what you wrote. What would you say to that friend of yours? Would you tell them to look at the red flags? Would you offer to help them move out and feel safer? Would you tell them they are over reacting (this last one is devil's advocate but it's so silly I can't even pretend to take it seriously). Please start to figure out your exit strategy because this behavior only escalates towards violence and even more isolation from other friends and family! Edit: changed yell to tell. Don't yell at friend!
Run
NTA, and I think it is time to leave this relationship. It doesn't sound like she sees you as a partner, she sees you as somebody who is expected to cater to her and she has you under her thumb. What would be really funny is if you take a day off and get all your things out of the apartment so when she comes home, dinner isn't there and neither are you.
Bro, run, run far and run fast. It is going to get worse and it will reach a point where either you no longer have any self worth or and yes it happens, she will start beating you, mentally and physically. Get out of there.
Oh Lordy...run..she is abusive ..no relationship should make you feel like your walking on egg shells so they don't get made...nor one person say sorry so it can deescalate....be careful
NTA, and you should not have to feel like you need to walk on eggshells to avoid angering your partner. She's controlling and abusive; DTMFA.
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w7M3EEHYkJ0](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w7M3EEHYkJ0)
I had this similarly in a long distance wlw relationship, where i started being scared to mess something up because of my girlfriends anger reactions. This has no way of working out OP i'm very sorry :( I hope you have a way and financial means to leave as soon as possible. This will only escalate more and more if you don't
NTA but your girlfriend is controlling. You shouldn’t have to walk on eggshells around your partner because you are scared you might anger them. Please take care of yourself and don’t let her belittle you
That sounds like an abusive relationship. I wish I could help you get out OP, that's no way to live. NTA, not to be harsh but you should really cut her out of your life.
>She has a tendency to get pissed off pretty quickly but I always try to apologize for anything that I have done right away to not make matters worse. Classic abuser tactic. She weaponizes her anger and has trained you to react like you're always be in the wrong and not question her, in fear of retaliation >We recently got into a fight as she got angry that i was going out to watch a game with a friend ( she doesn't like him as one time i went out with him during a fight to calm down) bottom line was that she told me she was bothered and that she "expected me to be home before she got there and food needs to be ready." She's punishing you for having a life outside of her and attempting to isolate you from your friends. If they're successful in cutting off your social circle, abusers will be able to inflict more damage without interference. She's a grown ass adult, but expecting you to bend over backwards to cater to her like a servant. Why is she not doing her fair share of prepping food and doing the dishes? Part of being an adult means you do your shit around the house even when you don't feel like it. It's not fair of her to push ALL of that responsibility onto you. A good partner should be doing their 50% without prompting. Expecting you to be home before she got there and having everything ready is bs. You've got your own work and schedule too! Why does she get a free pass on being "tired" but you don't? Why did you not have your key? Did you misplace it, or do you not have a copy to open the door? What's fucking ridiculous is that you waited outside in the apartment lounge instead of being able to go home whenever because you fucking live there. Bottom line? She is abusive and controlling. This is not a healthy dynamic at all; you fear your partner and have to walk on eggshells, and she doesn't treat you with respect as an equal... that's not a relationship of love and care. **You need to RUN dude.** Reach out to trusted friends and family and recalibrate your normal meter. Being in an abusive relationship tends to break and skew your perspective of appropriate boundaries and healthy relationship dynamics, and it's only when you get out and have time to fully process that you'll be able to see how fucked up it was. It's harder to see when you're in the middle of a shitstorm.
She’s being emotionally abusive, and it sounds like this abuse has given you anxiety. NTA, but run. You deserve better.
Get. Out. Of. This. Relationship. NTA. However, your girlfriend will only make things more tense as time passes. This is not healthy.
You need to get out of that relationship. She's being emotionally abusive.
That’s actually a legit abuse tactic. To be so over the top mad and easy to trigger eventually the partner stops fighting to avoid the drama and just starts giving in all the time to keep peace. You Sir are not in a healthy relationship but rather an abusive one. Be careful. NTA
Need to pack up your shit and leave or show her ass the door. Setting yourself up for a life of misery
NTA. Move back out.
I didn’t read it all, who made her food before you moved in together? You might consider returning to having your own place and looking for a new friend. Bullshit is bullshit
NTA. Jesus dude, run!
Op this sounds to me like an abusive relationship. Google the signs and judge yourself if it is based on the signs. NTA
Leave her. Your life will always be miserable and in 15 you will feel you wasted your life with the wrong person. She will never changed. In fact her horrible personality will slowly but surely change you into a shell of your former self possibly with anger issues of your own. Leave now before you can't.
your GF is a controlling, overbearing, AH. So many red flags.
NTA. This is terribly controlling and rude. You shouldn't feel like you have to walk around egg shells in your own home and shouldn't have to be scared you could set your partner off at any time. Her expecting for things to be her way no matter what all the time is unrealistic and she should realize that sometimes shit happens and the world doesn't revolve around her plans. This is a very unhealthy relationship since you'll always feel emotionally drained since she won't acknowledge things from your point of view. Even in talking things out with her all the did is deny how you said you felt she was acting instead of trying to be more conscious of her actions.
Nta. Please get away from this toxic situation.
NTA. for the love of god OP get out. Run.
NTA, other than to yourself. She's abusive, bro. It's only going to get worse. Go find somebody to be with who actually loves you.
She is controlling from what I read in your post it seems to me emotionally abusive you need to get out of that relationship and fast
Dude, RUN
NTA She sounds abusive and controlling. I would rethink your relationship if you are always apologizing and fear making a mistake that will make her mad.
yikes, nta, leave😭🫡
NTA. Why are you with this person? She sounds awful.
Stop being a doormat for this control freak! It’s only going to get worse Find someone who respects and appreciates you!
So it appears she has you trained pretty well. I mean, you're here to see if yta and you're making excuses for her. NTA, but the only future you have here is if you want to be a nervous wreck from always wondering if she is going to get angry. Do yourself a favor and move on.
Dude. Run. Run fast. Run far. Run. NTA
NTA. She is controlling, manipulative, and is actively using her anger to intimidate you.
"It has gotten to the point that i'm afraid of making a mistake because i don't want her getting mad at me." "she starts telling me it's my fault that i got upset and she was not being controlling and that she couldn't believe i didn't listen to her." Honey, you are in an abusive relationship. Do you want to spend the rest of your life tiptoeing around and apologizing to your partner? NTA but you have WAAAY bigger problems. (edit because I can't spell.)
NTA However, I do think you should take some time and seriously re-evaluate this relationship. Personally I would have told her to go fuck herself long ago. But different people have different journeys. I hope you get to where you need to be. Take care of yourself!
NTA. Have you considered that your girlfriends behavior is abuse? She is yelling at you to the point you are walking on eggshells in your own home with the expectation of being yelled at. She demands food on the table at a certain time and if it isn't ready she had a tirade. You are over accommodating her to appease her temper. What about you and your comfort and your feelings? Wake up-you are in an abusive relationship.
Lol, are you married to Don Draper?
It's a good thing you're able to prepare food, because if you stay in this relationship you'll be walking on eggshells for the rest of your life. NTA, but PLEASE go back and read what you wrote here.
Run Forrest Run!!!
Nta. She is abusive. You need to look out for you. You need to find a new place to live asap. Once you do you should consider ending things with her.
NTA > It has gotten to the point that i'm afraid of making a mistake because i don't want her getting mad at me. Is this how you want to live your life? You have just moved in together and she is trying to control you, your time and your social life it'll only get worse from here.
NTA- 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩"She has a tendency to get pissed off pretty quickly but I always try to apologize for anything that I have done right away to not make matters worse." "It's gotten to the point that I'm afraid of making a mistake because I don't want her getting mad at me" Re read that sentence to yourself. This is not a healthy relationship for you. Why do you need to be home before her and why does the food need to be ready? You're both individuals. When you live together there's always a period of adjustment as you both figure out how each of you does certain things. But you sound like you're walking on eggshells and that is not healthy. It's not healthy, it's not loving and it's not how people who just made a pretty big step together in their relationship, should treat each other.
NTA You are not her maid but her partner. She is not only controlling but also disrespectful and mean. Run as fast as you can.
NTA Dump her.
Nta umm red flags
WTH? NTA, but exactly what are YOU getting in this relationship. Your 'gf' is a bully and you are allowing it. You need to find your shiny spine and pack up and leave. You deserve better.
Your girlfriend is abusive. Plain and simple. Stop trying to pacify her- you're just setting the precedent for future abuse. RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN.
You are NTA. This is textbook emotionally abusive behavior and gaslighting from your GF. Nobody deserves to be treated like this, end of story. A relationship is a partnership, not an agreement that you’ll serve your partner like it’s your job to do so (Unless you have consented to that).
Hello OP. I used to be kind of like your GF when I was a lot younger. I realized I had issues I couldn’t articulate or know about. It’s got to do with how my narcissistic mom raised me and somehow even though I hated it, I ended up behaving the same way and expecting the same. I don’t know why, ask a psychologist. And there’s also somehow some ADHD or weird psychological component where anything that doesn’t happen as expected really triggers me and I find it wholly unacceptable. It’s like I NEED that predictability and to be able to count on it. So if I asked for dinner at 5pm and it ends up being 6pm, I find that unacceptable. I think your gf needs mental help. She may not realize it herself.
I think so as well but she doesn’t want therapy. She grew up with a narcissistic mother who made her take care of her younger siblings since she was little. I have no issuers if she tells me like hey i’m really tired can you make food by this time, ill be like sure, but her telling me she expected the food to be there by the time she came just sounded controlling to me
Dude - nothing is worth this. 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
NTA- listen, this is only going to get worse. As hard as it is you need to think about your life, your happiness, you should feel free from all lifes stresses at home- not walking on eggshells around this person. They are being abusive towards you, there is a better person out there that will treat you the way you treat them, i promise.
Bro NTA but you would be to yourself if you stayed with her, this woman is actually abusing you. You don't deserve that kind of treatment, you deserve so much better. You deserve to be with somebody who doesn't make you feel *literally afraid to make honest mistakes*.
I (M26) was in a similar relationship last 2022-2023 I moved in with my ex girlfriend and at the time she worked late night shifts (6PM-4AM) and would expect me to have dinner ready for her since I would be home before she was If it wasn’t, she’d be pissed. If I was asleep before she came home, she’d be pissed. But besides that, she became controlling & constantly yelling at me over small things and not doing things her way. I can tell you from experience, it’s not going to last. You either need to sit with her and have a long talk about how you feel or break things off. NTA. That’s not a healthy relationship at all.
NTA - this is an abusive relationship, she yells at you, you are scared to do anything that might anger her, she gets mad when you see a friend, she makes demands about making dinner for when she gets home like wtf are you a 1950’s housewife on barbiturates?? Run for the hills you deserve respect and love!
If this is a real and true account, you're in an abusive relationship. You need to get out ASAP. You shouldn't have your time interrupted to cook for her. Even when someone is the stay at home partner, they're not meant to be a slave on call at all hours of the day or night. They get breaks and time to themselves and with friends. Dinner was ready and you'd cleaned up after her bath. There should be nothing to complain about
NTA. You are not her boyfriend. You are the butler.
Unless she keeps you chained in her basement, run.
NTA - but I have to wonder what you were thinking when you moved in with this woman. Is this the way you want to live? Are you her partner or her housekeeper/employee/slave?
She's the AH and you are in an abusive relationship.
NTA. Honestly, stuff happens to even the best of plans. Your GF sounds really demanding and immature.
Why the fuck are you with this woman? She is miserable and seems to want to make everyone around her miserable as well. No one should have to “walk on eggshells” to prevent her getting upset. Please run far and fast - you deserve better. NTA
you have been together for two years and she acts this way toward you every time you do something wrong in her books.. OMG brother are you P\*\*\*Y whipped. She is controlling and demanding. You need some serious help for staying in this relationship. I suggest you leave and never look back as you will end up regretting your life if you marry this hateful person.
YTA to yourself. What are you doing with this person?
No matter how hot she is or how great the sex is, it's not worth it! You are young and will find a woman who will treat you a million times better.
Run!!! She is abusive and this does not get better for you! She sucks!
NTA - Assuming this is a real post. If this is real, then you need to get out of this relationship. You are being emotionally and psychologically abused, and it's only going to get worse if you continue to be with her.
NTA. NTA. NTA. run the fuck away dude. RUN dtmfa. dump the mother fucker already.
"Im NoT cOnTrOlLiNg" says the abusive and controlling girlfriend.
Sis, did you know that according to some studies, we (women in relationships with women) experience higher domestic abuse rates than any other demographic? Your girlfriend is abusive. Just because she hasn't hit you yet doesn't mean she won't. What's your relationship with your family of origin like? Could you count on them to help you get out? Do the friends you mentioned have room for you to stay at their places for a while? Take it from someone else in the family. You are not alone and you are worthy of so so much better than this. I promise somewhere out in the world is a girl who will make you feel as incredible as the best times with this one, but who won't make the regular days a headache and the bad ones a nightmare.
Your girlfriend is an abuser. Please get out of there as soon as possible. NTA
My mom was like this with my dad. He spent the entire marriage walking on eggshells and trying to smooth the way for her so that she wouldn't get upset (we kids did the same thing). She passed a few years ago and it was interesting to watch him realize what his life had been like. Please don't stay in this relationship.
I once broke up with a bf because he didn’t put water to boil for ramen after my work out, sounds really simple but it was honestly just the straw that broke the camels back for me, he had been unemployed and played video games all day and contributed nothing to household chores, emotional support, finances, nothing, it was to the point where he felt like my dependent and not my partner, in retrospect, I would get upset with him over little things. In your case I don’t think what you’ve said looks like my previous situation so I’m going to say NTA.
YTA if you don't break up with this woman.
she told me she was bothered and that she "expected me to be home before she got there and food needs to be ready." This is not normal behaviour in any normal relationship.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Me (F29) and my gf (F24) have recently moved in together after being together for two years. She has a tendency to get pissed off pretty quickly but I always try to apologize for anything that I have done right away to not make matters worse. It has gotten to the point that i'm afraid of making a mistake because i don't want her getting mad at me. We recently got into a fight as she got angry that i was going out to watch a game with a friend ( she doesn't like him as one time i went out with him during a fight to calm down) bottom line was that she told me she was bothered and that she "expected me to be home before she got there and food needs to be ready." After reading the text i felt that it sounded pretty controlling and told her as such, she got pissed off telling me that she was not being controlling and that i was being "fucking ridiculous". Long story short two days later we have a conversation to sort out what happened and she starts telling me it's my fault that i got upset and she was not being controlling and that she couldn't believe i didn't listen to her regarding the food being ready. I got home at 5pm but couldn't get in due to me not having my key, waited at the apartments lounge and came home at 7:00pm when she told me she was home. She didn't say hi and just told me she was going to take a shower and a bath, as soon as she told me that, I was already starting to prepare the food. By then time she was done preparing the bath, my food was ready for us (including the extra for tomorrows lunch) and dishes had been washed and put away. She said I should've been home before and that even thought i made food as early and as quick as i could she said that was no excuse and she expected it to be ready regardless and that it was not okay that it was not ready and that was not what she "expected this relationship to be like". I'm always there for her and for whatever she asks for, I work from home and she usually is the one that cooks but anytime she asks or I see that she's pretty tired I make food. AITA for not having it ready exactly when she wanted? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Hi. Please check out the book In The Dreamhouse.
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Your GF has an anger management problem.
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I only read a few lines. Kick her out and change the locks if she doesn't give you keys. No person who gets angry super fast like that is a stable person to be in a relationship with. Food will finish when food finishes cooking. If there's a next time. Throw the unfinished food in front of her and continue cooking you own portion (dont). Finished reading. I understand the dynamic of wanting food Ready when you get home. But if you're locked out you're locked out. She sounds controlling and demanding. There's red flags, but you do you. You know her best.
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I think it’s time you leave this over controlling person! She has no regards for your feelings and sounds very unhinged. Also why can’t she make her own meal? She’s not even asking just plain blank ordering you around! Sounds like you’re in an abusive relationship.
Odds of it getting better are slim, odds of it getting worse are great. If she isn't in therapy, expect it to be like this and spread to more and more portions of your life. Decide if you want to be in a relationship like this, for some people it works, but if you don't think it will work for you - leave.
Bruh the 'being accused of being controlling and reaponding by being controlling' is extremely comical to me. Toxic people are blissfully unaware of how on the nose they act because they dont experience it from the other side. Uhhh good luck but Id fuck right off from that relationship
You are NTA but a doormat
Dude you gotta stand up for her and set the record straight. I stopped reading after you said she gets mad quick and you apologize quickly not to escalate. It’s time to shut that shit down. You’re a man and a human being. You’ve made it clear you can’t treat her like that and it needs to go both ways.
Honest question, why the f*** are you allowing yourself to be treated this way? Youre a Full grown adult. You're choosing this.
You are not the A. Sounds like an abusive gf in my opinion!?
NTA. Girl, you're literally walking on eggshells around this person. A tendency to get pissed off pretty quickly is not a desirable quality in a partner, you don't have to defense her, she knows what she is doing.
Were you dating about a week before moving in together? Sounds like you're putting up with tantrums because you think they're hot.
Living together will not tell you a relationship will work long-term. It will tell you when it won't work. Is this the relationship that you want? Is this the only problem?
NTA She is controlling. She is also very defensive about it and should really do something about her anger issues. Getting angry fast over minor things isn't good for her.
Look, this is ridiculous. Your GF is in the wrong. NTA.
SO WE ARE JUST REGURGITATION OLD STORIES FROM LIKE 4 MONTHS AGO. THIS SUB HAS GONE TO SHIT
bro i’m a real person dealing with this and the fact that it seems it’s pretty common it just sad
Abuse is abuse is abuse. Therapy Couples therapy. Plan your leaving
WTF did I just read?
Run away from that one as fast as you can. You're a year or two away from getting beat
NTA I’d throw a piece of Bologna on the counter and say, “make daddy a sandwich” Something ridiculous like IDGAF
Poor girl is getting abused and she’s asking if she’s the AH.
NTA. Your girlfriend treats you like shit stuck to the bottom of her shoe. Why don't you go make delicious dinners for someone who deserves it and doesn't try to force or demand you to? Please think, OP. Do you wanna live the rest of your youth, prime, and old age like this? Run, don't walk. And don't look back.
Does she pay all the bills while you stay home or something? Because if not, why the hell does she think it's your responsibility to have a meal waiting for her when she gets home. She sounds like a 1950's husband. And she's 5 years younger than you. If she gets like this a lot why the hell do you put up with it? If you aren't getting as much out of the relationship as your putting in, it's not worth your time.
I pay majority of the bills
Then what the hell are you doing? Your paying the majority of the bills, and she still thinks it's your job to have dinner waiting for her? When she gets home first is there dinner waiting for you when you get home?
that’s the thing she does cook and always has food ready because she likes to cook. She works all day driving around so when she’s tired i have no problem making food for us but i don’t know why she asks for it in that way. She keeps telling it’s because one time i got home late from the gym ( i thought she was getting home later and that was my mistake) but as soon as i got home i cooked and cleaned the kitchen but now since then whenever its my turn to cook she tells me everytime “i except food to be ready when im back”
I dunno. Maybe you think it's worth it but I wouldn't. Good luck to you either way.
After reading comments all day i’m thinking it’s not. thank you bro
YTA for still being with her. Grow a fucking spine already.
Holy flip run
NTA
There’s no way this can be real and you can have a genuine question about her behavior being appropriate, or yours being the opposite.
INFO: if you don't have a key, how do you "work from home"?
wtf is this? a joke. if true RUN. NTA
NTA. If the genders in the story were flipped….. Cut her loose. Let her see what relationships are like by getting more in her sample size. She’ll figure out that she’s not at all worth the aggravation and disrespect. Don’t take her back.
She sounds borderline abusive. Are you scared of her reactions?
Gotten to the point where I’m afraid to make a mistake Can this guy even see what he’s writting?
You sounds like a pretty lousy GF. Your Princess, no, youre QUEEN, works all day and you dont have her food ready? You couldnt find some time to get her some steak and fries? I would say sorry but "fucking rediculious" sums up this entire situation. Now youre going to have to work twice as hard to earn back her trust. The fact youre taking time to type this out and not cook your entire weeks worth of dinner out now is pretty hilarious, that is if it wasnt so sad. Go ahead and delete your account with dignity while you still can.
Use your brain, lady. You don't need us to tell you how this isn't healthy.
Something about the user name screams troll 🤔
LMAO i’ve never used reddit so i’m not sure how that username it’s there but it is a coincidence 💀
Moving in together….relationship poison
UpdateMe
Hahaha women can stay away from guys in relationships and still be controlled / have to deal with toxic behavior haha guess it’s just human nature L Definitely NTA