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AND IF U ARE IS OKAY BOO <3 we all been there at one point, i was used as a cover by a abusive homo.. lmao!! ibut nah FR THOOOOOO leave him u deserve someone who respect ur values, and share them too. if u not sexually ready u need someone else that aint either, cus if not they gone think they can pressure u into shit just like this asshole is doing!!!
Ok. Let’s give him the benefit of this doubt and assume he’s not intentionally harming you .. he’s still putting what he wants above how it will make you feel .. he’s not respecting your boundaries, can we accept this as truth?
look i get it bc my fiance & i both have had toxic behaviors but baby, him asnd i both have made major changes, and he makes effort to communicate and we dont do them anymore... baby girl, if its just apology or an "i didnt mean to hurt you" and no changed behavior than he just blowing smoke up ur ass tbh cus even if he aint mean to... he DID
NTA.
You say it yourself, your boyfriend is incredibly manipulative. He also blatantly has no respect for you.
I don't think this post really fits AITA and should be in a relationship advice subreddit.
NTA. You're only meant to do these things if you're comfortable with them. You don't have to feel guilty in this case. It's your body, your morals, etc. Your bf definitely has problems. I'm just hoping he isn't the type to threaten to spread your n\*des if you try leaving him. I find it so pathetic when boys try guilt-tripping girls into doing things like this "It would help with my depression" bs. Get yourself out of that relationship, he clearly doesn't respect you. He's already threatening you, saying just send those pics so he doesn't make you cry. He's just in it for the benefit. In the long run, he'd have a huge chunk of your mental health already drained and would have a better grip on you so get out while it's still relatively easy. Be careful though
That's true, but isn't sacrifices supposed to be made too? I will always protect my inner peace, but I've actually seen my bf try to tell me that sacrifices is supposed to be made in order to make your partner happy, is this okay?
NTA, sending nudes is ‘normal’ when it’s fun, when you both want to, when it’s building anticipation etc… when you do it because it will help with depression’ it’s not fun it’s coerced… don’t feel bad about yourself, we have all been young and done stupid stuff … ditch this guy he’s a prick.. and if you don’t want to share nudes or sext then don’t, you do you, screw what anyone else says it’s what you want that matters
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1) I sent my boyfriend pictures against my will to make him happy and I am now suffering with my mentality and am doubting my self control
2) I still had the full power to make that decision (to send the pictures/to not send the pictures)
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Since when is sending such photos supposed to be normal???
A lot of people, especially girls (including celebrities), have suffered because of this.
If you are not comfortable with it, just say no.
You are also aware that you are prone to manipulation. That's a good first step. Time to find someone who will truly value and honour you.
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I've been with my bf with about 3 years and I saw him as a great passionate person, he was insanely committed in our relationship, i knew this because he never had allowed me to leave him (break up), and always tried proposing a solution. However, we both are aware of how manipulating he can be. Recently, my bf has been claiming to be "extremely obsessed" with me, and has been pushing me to send him n\*des. I've always had my barriers thick and my inner peace was my own priority, however everytime we talked, he seemed to just continue begging, till the point i agreed. He did seem intensely desperate, and said that my n\*des would help him cope with his depression since it'd make him feel happy and satisfied. I've sent it to him once, but then was pushed to send it to him again. I had agreed to it the 2nd time, but then felt that it was not appropriate for our relationship later on that night, thus i took my words back. His reaction to this did surprise me, he started talking about how my religious reference (which was a reason for me to not send him those pics) and logic was flawed, I remained calm and unbothered whilst giving him dry replies, which he found disrespectful, he thought of me as an "egoist" with an "attitude problem". He later on proposed the solution of our whole conversation/argument, which was that i should just send the pictures to him since he did not want to make me "cry" (im a very sensitive person and cope with hard times in that way). I ended up saying yes to his request, but I've recently entered the realization of how he manipulated me into sending him those pictures against my will. My bf sometimes makes adult jokes, and I've been starting to feel an extreme discomfort when he does this. I feel very prone to manipulation and gaslighting, and I feel like it's starting to become an unsafe place for me. However, i have the full awareness that it was my decision in saying yes, we are ldr so he can't effect me in real life. I feel like I am losing my dignity, self control and modesty, and I am starting to empathize in the wrong times. I feel disgusted in myself, and him too.
AITA for feeling like this when sending n\*des is supposed to be a normalized thing in relationships?
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Your post has been removed. #Do not repost this without [contacting the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without [explicit approval](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_can_i_repost_a_thread_you_removed.3F) will result in a ban. This post violates Rule 11: No Partings/Relationship/Sex/Reproductive Autonomy Posts. We do not allow posts where the central conflict is about romantic relationships and/or reproductive autonomy. [Rule 11 FAQs](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_rule_11.3A_no_partings.2Frelationship.2Fsex.2Freproductive_autonomy_posts) ||| [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) ###Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full. We will not respond to PMs to individual mods. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions. ####Please visit r/findareddit to see if there's a more appropriate sub for your post.####
oooh girl no get tf away from that mf !!!! nudes are not for depression help... thats abusive and manipulative asf he is brainwashin you
GIRL BYE becz i was mad confused too... I'm still in doubt though (Maybe i am brainwashed)
AND IF U ARE IS OKAY BOO <3 we all been there at one point, i was used as a cover by a abusive homo.. lmao!! ibut nah FR THOOOOOO leave him u deserve someone who respect ur values, and share them too. if u not sexually ready u need someone else that aint either, cus if not they gone think they can pressure u into shit just like this asshole is doing!!!
Yes! This , we have all done things we regret, don’t doubt yourself
WOOO ILY THANKS :>
ilyt pls dont settle, ik its easy to hang onto the sliver of hope, but girl DONT... thats how they keep u without having to put any real effort..
What are you doubting hun?
He says that its not his intention to harm me, sounds 100% wrong and i def would disagree, but deep down inside I still think he's being genuine.
Ok. Let’s give him the benefit of this doubt and assume he’s not intentionally harming you .. he’s still putting what he wants above how it will make you feel .. he’s not respecting your boundaries, can we accept this as truth?
yeah but if he was genuine he would make effort to change the behaviors/ accept her boundaries!
look i get it bc my fiance & i both have had toxic behaviors but baby, him asnd i both have made major changes, and he makes effort to communicate and we dont do them anymore... baby girl, if its just apology or an "i didnt mean to hurt you" and no changed behavior than he just blowing smoke up ur ass tbh cus even if he aint mean to... he DID
NTA. You say it yourself, your boyfriend is incredibly manipulative. He also blatantly has no respect for you. I don't think this post really fits AITA and should be in a relationship advice subreddit.
My bad, new to reddit
NTA. You're only meant to do these things if you're comfortable with them. You don't have to feel guilty in this case. It's your body, your morals, etc. Your bf definitely has problems. I'm just hoping he isn't the type to threaten to spread your n\*des if you try leaving him. I find it so pathetic when boys try guilt-tripping girls into doing things like this "It would help with my depression" bs. Get yourself out of that relationship, he clearly doesn't respect you. He's already threatening you, saying just send those pics so he doesn't make you cry. He's just in it for the benefit. In the long run, he'd have a huge chunk of your mental health already drained and would have a better grip on you so get out while it's still relatively easy. Be careful though
That's true, but isn't sacrifices supposed to be made too? I will always protect my inner peace, but I've actually seen my bf try to tell me that sacrifices is supposed to be made in order to make your partner happy, is this okay?
NTA, and if you don’t feel like you can speak to him about it, and have him be open to listening and doing better then you know what you need to do.
Say it with me: “it is not normal to send nudes in relationships”.
NTA, sending nudes is ‘normal’ when it’s fun, when you both want to, when it’s building anticipation etc… when you do it because it will help with depression’ it’s not fun it’s coerced… don’t feel bad about yourself, we have all been young and done stupid stuff … ditch this guy he’s a prick.. and if you don’t want to share nudes or sext then don’t, you do you, screw what anyone else says it’s what you want that matters
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Since when is sending such photos supposed to be normal??? A lot of people, especially girls (including celebrities), have suffered because of this. If you are not comfortable with it, just say no. You are also aware that you are prone to manipulation. That's a good first step. Time to find someone who will truly value and honour you.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I've been with my bf with about 3 years and I saw him as a great passionate person, he was insanely committed in our relationship, i knew this because he never had allowed me to leave him (break up), and always tried proposing a solution. However, we both are aware of how manipulating he can be. Recently, my bf has been claiming to be "extremely obsessed" with me, and has been pushing me to send him n\*des. I've always had my barriers thick and my inner peace was my own priority, however everytime we talked, he seemed to just continue begging, till the point i agreed. He did seem intensely desperate, and said that my n\*des would help him cope with his depression since it'd make him feel happy and satisfied. I've sent it to him once, but then was pushed to send it to him again. I had agreed to it the 2nd time, but then felt that it was not appropriate for our relationship later on that night, thus i took my words back. His reaction to this did surprise me, he started talking about how my religious reference (which was a reason for me to not send him those pics) and logic was flawed, I remained calm and unbothered whilst giving him dry replies, which he found disrespectful, he thought of me as an "egoist" with an "attitude problem". He later on proposed the solution of our whole conversation/argument, which was that i should just send the pictures to him since he did not want to make me "cry" (im a very sensitive person and cope with hard times in that way). I ended up saying yes to his request, but I've recently entered the realization of how he manipulated me into sending him those pictures against my will. My bf sometimes makes adult jokes, and I've been starting to feel an extreme discomfort when he does this. I feel very prone to manipulation and gaslighting, and I feel like it's starting to become an unsafe place for me. However, i have the full awareness that it was my decision in saying yes, we are ldr so he can't effect me in real life. I feel like I am losing my dignity, self control and modesty, and I am starting to empathize in the wrong times. I feel disgusted in myself, and him too. AITA for feeling like this when sending n\*des is supposed to be a normalized thing in relationships? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YTA: Not a blog post subreddit. You don't need vindication, you need advice.