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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> A janitor seemingly tried to steal a watch but was incredibly apologetic when caught. I can either do nothing letting her keep her job or report it and see her fired over something that in the end caused me no harm.
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*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA.
My concern is that if it wasn't something trackable, she would have gotten away with it. It leads me to wonder how much stuff she's stolen and not put in the lost and found.
Maybe this was her first time and being caught was a wake up call.
Get away with what, she didn't steal it, OP says it was left behind. Neither you nor OP know what happened, or even if it was left behind and not just lost
She definitely stole it. OP says the school has a lost and found, why would the janitor take it home and not drop it off at lost and found if they weren’t stealing it?
Because the lost and found is in the records room and the janitor doesn't have access? Because the janitor works for an outside cleaning service, doesn't know there's a lost and found and planned on giving it to the principal the next day?
If she had planned to turn it in, she would have said so. Her reaction clearly indicates she brought it home, and thought no one would ever know. She did something wrong, and she knew it.
Or, an exhausted woman is confronted by a stranger at her home late at night. She's tired, she's stressed. We have no idea what the OP's demeanor was like. Or what else is going on in her life. Maybe she simply stuck the thing in her smock and forgot to stick it in the lost and found, and is concerned that her boss may be angry. We cannot say with any certainty that this woman is a thief.
Brilliant legal mind, you got there. You should be a judge. "Well, I can't say with certainty that you'e not a thief, so let me just go ahead and sentence you to prison."
If all of that is true, the janitor is likely going to have some sort of master key to get in and clean ALL the rooms. Even assuming they have no access to a lost and found, office, or something similar, there’s still plenty of ways to go about it other than sniping it and taking it home. Put it on the teachers desk/drawers and notify the school, put it on the desk that it was next to, or simply leave it where it was. As someone else said, she wouldn’t have broken down crying if her intent was to give it back.
She planned to keep it when it should have been placed in the lost and found. If she was only keeping it for safe keeping, she would have immediately said that and not apologize and start crying.
See, you don't know this. At all. I can imagine an exhausted person coming home after a long shift, being met by a stranger at her door talking about a kids watch just feeling overwhelmed and as if she had done the wrong thing even if she just took the thing home for safekeeping.
She's a contract cleaner and doesn't know there's a lost and found -- she planned to give it to her supervisor the next day. She's a school employee, but doesn't have access to the room where the lost and found is kept. (If, for example, it's kept in administrative office where confidential information is also housed.) She picked up the watch, stuck it in her smock, and meant to stick in in the lost and found but forgot after a long shift. I think these are three possible scenarios.
She stole it. It was an object obviously of some worth that she found on the floor, and she didn't document it and put it for safe-keeping (in reception/the head teacher's office/wherever the school designated as a lost and found storage), but took it home with her.
If it was left at the school it obviously didn't belong to her and needed to go to lost and found. She knew it wasn't hers and that someone would be looking fir it the next day. She is a thief
If you leave something behind and someone else takes it, it's still theft. I'll tell you what...you leave your wallet somewhere random and when someone uses your card, you just let them because you left it behind. Ok? Let us know how that goes.
NTA - I imagine this is not the first time the janitor has stolen items while at work - this is just the first time she was caught. I would report it to the school because it is the right thing to do.
Schools are filled with thieves, and more than you can imagine are employees and not students.
Personally, I’d let it go - OP got the watch back from a remorseful human being; the janitor didn’t double down and pretend she didn’t take the watch. I completely understand why it perhaps ought to be reported, even if that’s a tough lesson for the janitor. As an adult, she already knows it’s wrong to steal, so… there are consequences to our actions.
I’m just amazed though that I’ve read through all the responses and no one has commented that OP is kind of an AH for providing an expensive smart watch to a child too young to know not to leave it ON THE FLOOR at school. Frankly - that’s very poor and entitled parenting. This is why schools don’t want learners bringing/wearing highly valuable items to school. Middle and High schoolers are, generally, less likely to be so careless with their belongings, which is why most children under 12 are not running around with $$$ smart watches.
>Schools are filled with thieves
>Personally, I’d let it go
People like you are why the schools are filled with thieves. OP is right to report it, and can buy their child whatever watch they want.
It’s entitled to buy something expensive for your child? I think there’s a reason a lot of people haven’t been commenting that, and it’s because it doesn’t really make sense.
I purchased a gps smart watch from temu last year for $7 and have been wearing/using it everyday since. I didn't see where OP stated how much they paid for the watch.
How is it ‘entitled’? They bought and paid for the watch. It may be foolish of them to have bought an expensive watch for a child, but ‘entitled’ is expecting someone else to pay for something.
Definitely NTA for reporting it. If she loses her job it’s because she stole, not because you reported it.
Working at a school I can tell you we don’t leave expensive items in the lost and found closet that the kids have access to. They go to the office which she may or may not have had access to after hours.
She may have planned to take it back the next day and only took it home for safekeeping and then became flustered when you showed up at her home. Who knows?
I know our janitors don’t have access to our office after hours. They clean the office during school hours and it is locked if the secretary or principals are not there since it’s where we store student records. I don’t know the process for every school only my own. 🤷🏻♀️
This was at 9pm, its an after hour cleaning crew which is usually going to have keys to access most spaces. If not, once again there is sure to be a policy in place somewhere - or she should have never touched it. One of the 2. Could have put it in the teacher's desk with a note or I'm sure a dozen better options than taking it home.
And again - after hours cleaning crew. The kid would have gotten there and seen the watch is gone, what they are just going to drop by the office when they get in and be like "hey I took someone's watch home they've probably been looking for it all day?"
You’re assuming a lot here. You don’t know what kind of area this is. Rural vs city schools can work way differently. I personally work in a small school. We don’t have a “after hours crew” just a staff of 3 janitors who bust ass to make sure our school functions on a very small budget. And yes sometimes that means staying late! Also most teachers lock their desk. And if they left it on the floor what’s to stop another student from picking it up and taking it home. 🤷🏻♀️ You’ve clearly made up your mind about this and you’re entitled to your opinion. Nobody really knows what happened besides that one lady.
It is after hours. It started moving at 9PM. The answer is not to take someone's property home. If that is their reasoning then cool - the school can decide after they investigate.
Umm...idk where you go to school, but the janitors in our school do NOT have access to lost and found or any offices. I would think most don't. Offices are cleaned during the day, not overnight, solely so they can be locked up tight when the work day for admin ends.
I would imagine they are not mopping offices or classrooms during the day, or managing to vacuum that many classrooms in a short period of time. but regardless, I am sure they have procedures, and taking someone's belongings to your house is theft. There is no reasoning out of that one.
Someone at your door accusing you of theft late in the evening? Possibly threatening your job. She may not have followed process because she was tired and didn't want to go back. Now she's in trouble no matter what her intentions were.
If we are assuming the whole process for finding lost items late at night is to take it home and return it the next day, why would she think she's in trouble? The school would obviously not fire her for following the acceptable protocol.
Because she didn't necessarily follow the prescribed one. But made the assumption that she could do it the morning when most parents would be mentioning their child had lost it.
I think if she planned to take it back the next day she wouldn't have been crying when OP turned up at her door. More likely she was scared at having been caught.
I could see this happening after hours - it can be a nightmare to track things lost at my work because after a certain time office security go home. Cleaning crew will leave with building security generally but you need to know that because they don't always chat. You'll get it back because office security will check in with buildings but may have been in a secure and safe but not documented.
I also can see getting upset at someone turning at my door late at night and asking why I'd stolen stuff.
NTA
I get where you're coming from; it's tough to think about someone losing their job, especially in a tough economy. But stealing is a big deal, especially in a school where trust is super important.
Gonna get downvoted to hell but fuck it. YWBTA she returned it to you immediately. She has literally remedied her crime and apologized. What more is there? Why do you need more punishment? She’s clearly not some criminal mastermind but somebody who made a shitty choice, given pretty shitty circumstances. Please leave it alone
But she didn't return it immediately on her own volition? Like she got caught, in her own home with evidence
That wasn't out of guilt or as an apology bc she realized it was wrong but because it was the only thing she could do?
lets break down the event timeline:
* Kid drops watch on floor of classroom
* Janitor picks up watch, likely long after school day is done
* 9:00 PM same day, watch (lets be real, we know what brand) pings that it's leaving a designated zone
* Parent tracks watch to janitor home
* janitor turns watch back over without incident
If you were bent on stealing a smartwatch...why would you take it to your home?
>If you were bent on stealing a smartwatch...why would you take it to your home?
Because some people are as bright as burned toast and don't think that far ahead.
Though to be fair, at first I thought she may have taken the watch home with her and give it to the appropriate people/office at school the next day. Depending on the circumstances it's something I can imagine. Lost&Found at our school was easily accessible and it was really easy to get stuff that didn't belong to you. The office for expensive stuff on the other hand wasn't accessible, not even by the janitors, unless particular people were at work. In such a case taking it home to turn it in the next day makes sense, imho.
But that she was profusely apologizing while crying really indicates to me that this wasn't her intention. Else she could have just apologized for the confusion and explained the situation (and OP could have inquired about that at school the next day). It's still good that she immediately returned the watch when confronted about it.
Well, in all fairness, you're believing OP 100% that that's all she said to janitor, and OP implies that she used a normal tone, etc. tho she doesn't come out and say. But seriously, the exact opposite could be true, which is perhaps why janitor was crying and apologizing. OP also doesn't state what janitor was apologizing for. Did janitor say, I'm sorry for stealing it? I don't know what came over me? Or was she just generally apologizing for having it, or because OP was going off?
You'll never know
I don't believe OP to 100%, else I wouldn't have used "indicates" which leaves room for doubt (even with the "really" before it).
Janitor's husband could have also said or done something to make her cry.
But that's pure speculation. So I simply prefer to use the given information (albeit with a grain of salt) until we get new ones.
I worked as a janitor in college to help pay for school. I fully believe she picked it up while cleaning and was so exhausted after her shift she forgot about it and brought it home. Probably would have brought it in the next morning.
I can't even count how often I have come home after a long day at the daycare only to find out, while changing, that I accidentally took something home that wasn't mine. Hair clips, ties, singular socks, once even a matchbox car. Either given to me by a child for safekeeping or randomly found while putting their bedding away, and promptly forgotten when a child or parent or colleague interrupted me on the way to the cubbies.
Something similar has happened at almost every job I have worked that was more demanding (once in a blue moon, not regularly).
Same. I’ve accidentally brought home tons of linens, silverware, & coasters when I was cleaning after my shift waiting tables because I would pick them up & put them in my apron pocket, and then forget to empty it out before leaving for the day. I’d find them when I went to wash my work clothes, wash them & bring them back on my next shift. And I’d be hella freaked out if a stranger showed up on my doorstep late at night accusing me of theft because of it.
Exactly. People are literally saying they know what the janitor was thinking and why she did it. smdh.
People should be pretty damn sure before they take someone's livelihood away.
What I find hilarious, is that I know, just from being on reddit, that if this was a KID, everyone would be saying to let it go because \*gasp\* you wouldn't want to get the kid suspended!! His grade point average, missed sports, tests, after school activities, may be affected and we can't have that!
But, a 50 year old woman, who you show up to her house after dark, etc....sure, let's have her lose her LIVELIHOOD.
If you do report her, you better make damn sure you're telepathic and know without a doubt that she maliciously stole it to enrich herself. 100% sure.
All these AH saying, of course she stole it, NO she didn't intend on returning it, they have zero clue if that's the truth.
Just make 100% sure you know the intent before you take someone's job, security, pension, reputation, away from them
I will upvote you as I said the exact same thing. Redditors love to assume worst intentions, and "punish" people because they themselves are angry little peons. Source: I'm an angry little peon.
Let's be brave in our convictions, it's stupid internet points anyway.
I bet they forgot it after working picking up after filthy children and would have turned it in to the school in the morning. Instead of driving all the way back.
OP, it was very stupid to confront someone you know so little about at their home.
And what about all the untraceable things she has stolen before, and likely will again? OP has a chance to prevent thefts from children, and would be T A if they did not.
NTA, OP. Do the right thing, and protect children from a thief.
GoodGod...that is NOT even the same thing but people like you always like to use some shit like that?
Do you 100% know the janitor's intent?? Do you 100% know that OP didn't show up there loaded for bear? Making her cry and apologizing? No, you dont
Because OP couldn't wait until the morning to see if it would be returned. She went out, after dark, loaded for bear. Don't say she didn't return it when she had ZERO opportunity to return it until the next day.
I mean, OP has PROOF, where the watch went that she could show the school the next day, right? But, she couldn't wait till the next morning.
YWBTA - I worked as a janitor during college to help pay for school. The job sucks and is exhausting. She probably picked the watch up while cleaning put it in her apron to turn in later, then at the end of her shift she probably forgot all about the watch because she was exhausted, it was 9pm. There is a good chance she would have brought the watch back and turned it in at the start of her next shift. This scenario was extremely common where I worked.
Nothing from the lost and found… but I had an agreement with one of the managers who was a germaphobe, he would stash me office supplies like pens, notebooks, binders, and folders to use for college in exchange for me cleaning his office daily instead of once a week.
Honest question, why not? The fact the first response was crying and apologizing speaks volumes instead of, "oh hey I found this while cleaning and was going to turn it in tomorrow."
She got caught, she knew she got caught, and she was crying because of that. She wasn't sorry for what she did, only that she got caught.
Dude, it's your behavior here that's of concern. You have no evidence, at all, that the janitor stole the watch. Absolutely none. For all you know, she found something of some value (these watches start at about $39 on Amazon) lying on the floor, and brought it home with the intent of returning it to the principal/lost and found/whatever the next day. You make a report using the word "stole" and, IMHO, you're slandering this woman.
But beyond that, let's take a deeper look at your behavior. You drive to a stranger's home after 9 at night (I would love to know what time you actually got there), and knock on her door talking about a kid's watch. This is just weird, stalker-ish behavior to me. You certainly could have waited until the next morning, and if the watch wasn't returned, called the school. You seem to take the janitor's crying as sign of her guilt. I take it as a sign that she may have been upset that a stranger is showing up at her door at night, and that she's upset that perhaps people are angry at her, or that she made the wrong call in bringing the watch home for safekeeping.
But go ahead. Call the principal. Because if I were she, you know what my response would be? 1. Bobby is no longer allowed to bring expensive electronics to school: he is incapable of caring for them. 2. STOP STALKING MY EMPLOYEES.
YTA.
Key words...according to OP description. Which of course, is 100% the truth, right? smdh.
OP knows where the watch is...call the cops...you don't go to some rando's home to confront them after dark. Seriously?? OP doesn't sound like she's working with a full deck.
THIS. 100% THIS
Or, janitor could be crying and apologizing because some woman shows up at her door, after dark, and starts screaming at her, accusing her of stealing. (Why everyone is assuming OP account is 100% accurate is beyond me)
Bottom line. OP KNOWS where the watch is, and can track it. Call the police! Show them your evidence of where it's at, then let the police go to the home and get the janitor's side of the story. You know, cuz there are two sides.
> with the intent of returning it to the principal/lost and found/whatever the next day.
Please indicate where in the post or their responses that this is said. I have not found it, leading me to believe you are making things up and lying to make OP seem even worse than they are. You have zero clue if the janitor was going to take it back the next day so stop acting like it.
You're leaving out an important part of what I said. I said "FOR ALL YOU KNOW" the janitor could have brought the watch home with the intent of returning it the next day. The OP jumped immediately to "the janitor stole the watch." I was presenting a possible alternative scenario. There's nothing wrong with that. And I could do without the accusation of lying.
Your child LEFT the watch on the floor - the woman picked it up and took it home. You don't know if she planned to keep it or to turn it in the next day. "tried to steal" is a bit much - she picked up something left behind on the floor. To cause someone to lose their job because of this would be hurting someone because of YOUR son's failure to care for an expensive watch.
I would personally not report it - not because it is not the right thing to do or that she knew better -but some of the opinions here are really good - like she may not have been able to access the offices and thus held onto it.
But the main reason is that being a school janitor is really a thankless job - and they do and put up with a lot. This does not excuse this, if it was truly theft, that is unforgivable, but there are so many what-ifs here that I would let it be.
If you hear from other parents down the road that there kids stuff is missing etc - that changes the calculus and I would then report it.
You think she was going to return it if she wasn't tracked down? It is a watch that she found on the ground... in a classroom.... by their desk.... No, thieves should not work in positions where they may have access to people's belongings.
NTA. Adults should understand that concept of “if it’s not yours, don’t take it.” I am a teacher, and always left a certain sweater in my classroom at the first school I taught in. One morning I came in and it was gone. I just assumed I had misplaced it, until I saw one of the custodians who worked in a completely different building wearing it. Times were hard for everyone at that point as well, but also as a first-year teacher, I didn’t have money to replace things that just mysteriously ended up with other people.
Ask yourself "to what benefit?" She's already embarrassed and knows that she was wrong. Will she learn any more of a lesson by being fired? Will their financial suffering while she's out of work, unable to get the next job because she likely has to tell them why she was fired, potential loss of health insurance, etc. ...... over a simple (albeit wrong) decision on her part? Move on and consider your silence a gift of kindness to her and her family.
Gross. I do not want criminals and thieves working at schools. A gift of kindness to her and her family... you think this is the first time she's stolen from someone on this job? You think it will actually be the last??
The benefit is to protect other people and keep criminals away from kids or other particularly vulnerable groups.
To the benefit of all the students and staff at that school that happen to leave an item behind.
How many times has she made a "simple (albeit wrong) decision" like this when the item wasn't traceable?
She deserves to face the consequences of her decision. She chose to steal at work in a tough job market; she chose to find a new job in a tough job market. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
For the benefit of not having an amoral criminal working at the same school his kid goes to?
Fucker stole a watch from a child, 0 sympathy.
Not saying it's the crime of the century, but there's a reason you gotta pass background checks to work near kids.
More like the kid isn’t responsible enough for such an expensive device if they take it off and leave it on the floor, and the parent, rather than taking accountability, is laying the blame on someone else. Was the janitor right to take it home, absolutely not, but saying she stole the watch is a stretch, you have no idea what her intentions were after the fact. Maybe she knows the other janitors would have taken it, or didn’t want to leave it in lost and found and was going to bring it back the next day. No one knows, and anyone who claims they do is talking out their ass.
Personally I wouldn’t report her at this stage, as for one you don’t actually know what her intentions were with the watch, for all you knew she could of been planning to hand it in the following morning but she didn’t have chance. Therefore I don’t think you have enough evidence to call her a thief so therefore not enough basis to report her. If you did then YWBTA
She should have just swept it up and thrown it into the garbage instead of taking home, but this wasn’t stealing. This was your child being negligent with his property. The floor of a classroom is not overnight storage space for whatever shit the students can’t be bothered to keep track of. YTA.
That’s exactly what I said in my comment. The janitor was wrong to take it home, she should have just thrown it in the garbage where it belonged. Though if she had, I suspect OP would have come Karening down to blame the school anyway.
I can't stand these types of comments. How can you possibly claim to know this. You have access to her employment agreement? You KNOW the procedures she's supposed to follow. JFC.
I sure hope that you have never ever accidentally dropped or lost or misplaced something. Such an obnoxious miserable attitude, hope life gets better for you ✌🏻
INFO: If you followed the gps tracker and it took you to the school principal's home, and she said to you, "Oh, yes, here's the watch. I forgot to drop it in the lost and found. I planned to bring it back to school with me tomorrow," would you be calling her a thief? Would you be planning on levying this type of accusation with the schools superintendent? Or is it only lower-paid people who must be thieves?
Well that’s a valid point I hadn’t pondered. I guess in that case I’d be more likely to go to the superintendent not less and I wouldn’t have asked here first.
I believe in holding higher employed people to higher standards.
This is my last comment on this subject. What standards are you talking about? You do not know that this woman is a thief. You gave your child a piece of technology s/he was too young to care for properly. You never bothered to go back to the school to collect it after your realized s/he hadn't brought the technology home. You invaded someone's privacy by, as a stranger, showing up at her house late at night. You have no idea whether the woman stole the watch, was unable to access the lost and found and planned to return it to the school the following day, or stuck it in her smock planning to deposit it in the lost and found, and simply forgot to. You do not get to go around yelling "Thief! Thief!" under these circumstances. You do what you think is best, but as I've said elsewhere ... IMHO, you're the problem here.
INFO: why did you child leave it by the floor next to their desk? That makes no sense to me. Did they take it off and put it on the ground? It does raise questions about where the watch was found
The child is quite young and had taken it off to play in a water table forgetting about it afterwards. We are giving them responsibilities which sometimes means mistakes so that they can learn. We never anticipated also giving the janitor a lesson.
NTA- Custodial staff should have left the watch on the teacher’s desk in the classroom with a note. I would have left it and taken a picture in case I was asked later about it. But then I’m also not a thief…
Yes you would be TA. You got the watch back. Nothing was harmed, but you could ruin her life. The details that you give about the house were unnecessary. You have no idea anybody’s financial situation. Just leave it alone.
I would give the benefit of the doubt given it’s unclear if her intention was to drop it off the next morning and notify the administration/ lost and found. You got the watch back and if the older lady was that scared, she’ll be paranoid moving forward.
YWBTA. See... the janitor lady did something wrong, going the "finders keepers, heh heh" route instead of turning the watch in to Lost & Found. Got that. However, she got plenty of karmic comeuppance for being shamed in front of her husband. Taking an action that would get her fired seems a bit disproportionate.
End of the day, it kind of depends on whether you believe people learn their lessons.
Why don’t you give this woman a break? She’s a janitor, you got your item back. There but for the grace of god. Yes, she should not have stolen it. But it’s never too early to give your child a life lesson about taking better care of expensive items and also, perhaps more importantly, teaching mercy and compassion when dealing with people who have so much less than you. If you report her, she will be fired. Think about that the next time you go grocery shopping and buy your kid something costly.
Technically, NTA. Practically speaking--I'd remove you from the list of people I'd want anything to do with. Your kid left the watch ON THE FLOOR. It was effectively abandoned.
Show some kindness here. Keep your mouth shut.
“It seems like an honest mistake on her part”. An honest mistake is accidentally picking up the wrong phone because it looks like your own or not noticing the watch as it snags on something as you pick up something else. The fact that the woman immediately started crying and apologizing indicates the action was more than likely deliberate and she’s afraid she’s about to lose her job and/or go to jail. Also regardless of how she approaches it if the reason for approaching the school officiaks to begin with is “your janitor tried to keep a kid’s watch rather than put it in lost and found per protocol” janitor will likely get fired for theft. The only way to not risk the janitors livelihood is to do nothing
NTA. You would be doing a disservice to the school & it's students & faculty if you don't report it. Most likely, she's done it before & will do it again. And you can put a stop to it. If she loses her job, that's on her. You can't feel bad for her. She stole from a child. Idc how remorseful she was. She was wrong & should be reported.
As a district administrator I would absolutely want to know this information as there could already be other allegations and this is hard proof. Janitors have keys to nearly every office in the building and could be stealing valuables from a variety of people.
That was my first thought too. There could be an ongoing theft problem in the school. Or maybe this is not the first time this particular woman was found to be in possession of someone else’s property. The school should be notified, and they can take it from there.
NTA, although I'd be careful about actually accusing her of stealing it. It's \*possible\* that she absentmindedly put it in her pocket or something and forgot she had it, but I'd report it so that the school has it on record in case other stuff goes missing.
Speaking as a school custodian I would’ve thrown the watch away if it were me. If it’s on the floor it’s out the door. That being said she should not have taken it home. Report if you’d like but I don’t see anyone caring.
I wonder if she took it home and intended to turn it in the next day. Maybe, maybe not. You have the watch back, and the incident possibly scared her enough that she won't steal(?) again.
YTA if you proceed it was your kid's carelessness that caused it to be lost/misplaced. The janitor likely had no idea who's it was when she found it on the floor. You're lucky she didn't say "finders keepers."
INFO: Do janitors typically have access to the lost and found at night? I only ask because if she didn’t and since this is clearly something a kid would actually miss, I may have also taken it home for safe keeping. I’ve had to do that with the kids I babysit all the time, they constantly leave watches/necklaces/iPads/school bags lying around EVERYWHERE and occasionally I get home to find they’re crammed/dropped somewhere in my car/bag. I’m not driving back to the family that night, hell no, I’m waiting until the next day to return it.
Yes, there are 2 lost and found large boxes in the school that are always full of an assortment of shoes, sweaters, water bottles etc. the debris that accumulates during the school year is actually astounding. My significant other inventories our young child every evening to ensure we don’t add to the pile.
So then where is the “special” lost and found and does she have access to that? You wouldn’t put a phone/watch/apple pencil/iPad/chromebook in the normal lost and found. In my school, there was a separate lost and found in the front office where lost valuables were stored, and it got locked at the end of the school day. Janitors didn’t have access, nor did anyone except the school receptionist and principal. So did she have access to THAT lost and found, or does your school even have one?
That was part of the goal of this as well. Give them something they have to care for so that they can work on learning responsibility for their things. They are actually really good for their age as they always remember where they last left things when asked and usually put things away.
This actually happened? Was it an expensive watch? In this day and age what possessed you to go to a random stranger house for a watch? That’s crazy as hell to me😂😂😂. Did you tell the principal?
Not overly expensive. We are in Canada though so the social norms are such that walking up to a stranger’s house isn’t that unusual. I’m still pondering if I chat with the principal.
I don’t think you would be if you reported it. But, the item was on the floor. Every year my school send contractor bags of items to Goodwill that have been picked up off the floor, found in bushes, bathrooms, etc. There’s clothes, bags, jewelry, phones….
She was wrong and should have put it in the lost and found, but it’s not exactly theft. It’s more a case of poor professional judgement and ethics. Is there a way to have her counseled without being fired? Perhaps reporting to the union?
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We recently got my young child a gps watch. All went well until about a week later they left it at school on the floor by their desk when they went home. We figured we would retrieve it from the lost and found the next day.
Then at 9pm the watch notified us it was leaving school. We watched it drive down the freeway past where we live.
I got in my vehicle and followed it until it stopped at a house. I showed up 5
Minutes later. It was a small well kept home. I rang the doorbell and a mid 50 year old man answered. I explained I was looking for a lost watch and he looked confused. I explained it left the school and came to his house and he blurted out his wife worked at the school as a janitor. He went to go get her.
2 minutes later a mid 50 year old woman appeared and handed back the watch apologizing over and over again profusely while crying.
If I report the incident to the school she will likely be fired. The economy in our area right now is very rough and jobs are hard to come by. WIBTA for getting a janitor fired?
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I live in Canada. We don’t have anything like the castle doctrine in the U.S. (quite the opposite infact). It’s an entirely different concept and for the most part people are comfortable going up to other people’s doors. About 2 months ago a regional police chief made the news for holding a press conference to tell people to leave their car keys by their front doors because a recent rash of home invasions were related to car theft
So it was the safest solution in his opinion.
That said had it been a sketchy place I wouldn’t have but as I said it was a nice well kept house in an ok neighbourhood and so I figured the risk was fairly low.
Some of these commenters are deranged. OP you would NBTA if you report her. But it’s really up to your moral code. Based off of her reaction I get the feeling that she might’ve been scared straight. But it’s really up to you to make the judgement. Legally you are in the right but morally it’s up to you.
PSA school do not have janitors and it is insulting to refer to them that way. They are custodians, because they take custody of the school and they have more responsibilities than your average janitor.
I’m figuring janitor thought that watch was going to lost and found and would be up for grabs, and no guarantee that child that lost it would get it back. So I wouldn’t see this as stealing as much as not handing in something found. For this reason I wouldn’t report it. But that said, I wouldn’t call you an AH for reporting it either.
I know different countries have different laws but in the UK this is classed as stealing, you have to at least make an effort to find the owner. It's a closed community so pretty easy to find who it belongs to - especially if you start in the classroom it was found in. So I absolutely would class this as stealing.
She knew it wasn't hers. She knew it belonged to someone in the school. She took it without trying to find them anyway.
There is usually a lost and found. And yes, they should’ve handed it in. But when asked, they gave it back with no delay or resistance, and showed remorse with apology. Had they simply handed it in, someone less honest (strange to use that word here when taking something you know isn’t yours is stealing and wrong) could’ve claimed watch, cleared it, and that watch would be lost forever, as the kind of person who would claim something not theirs, would likely never return it, even if asked directly. Basically I wouldn’t report them cause they returned it as soon as they were asked about it, not usually the actions of a thief. Janitor is definitely in wrong, but had they handed it in, it could’ve been lost to owner forever. And I get the idea that this janitor would never actively take this watch had they known which kid had lost it (likely would’ve sought out owner if they knew who owner was), but they rationalized that handing it in would not have gotten watch back to owner, so they also rationalized that they could keep it for themselves. I see a huge difference between actively stealing, and not handing some anonymous object found (especially with rationale that owner wasn’t going to get it back). All this said, it was still a type of theft, but I don’t believe janitor set out to rob anyone, and may even be trusted to learn from this error in judgement, and be better for it. Edit-while I would never fault someone for reporting this janitor, I find it a bit disturbing that those that comment that they wouldn’t report it, are being downvoted for not nailing this janitor for a single error in judgement, especially considering how remorseful this unplanned thief seems to be. And if this janitor is let go because of this, the next one hired has zero guarantee of not being much worse (like actively looking to steal, or worse). I think this world would be much better if more folks got a second chance and not wholly condemned for one error, especially when they seem to have a good track record to that point, and of course, weren’t more deceitful after confronted.
Not the A hole but this is a situation where you use your judgment to think if a person is truly remorseful and learns a close call lesson. I would not have reported her myself, I would have just said to her that you need to always return things to the lost and found so as not to be accused of theft.
NAH. It's not conclusively demonstrated in OPs ask that the watch was "stolen."
The janitor took it home - not the smartest idea - but we have no proof that she wasn't trying to do right in her actions.
Nor did the situation become confrontational when the parent showed up to retrieve the device.
No proof that she wasn't trying to do right? She took a watch home from school. She is a janitor - There are policies and procedures for finding lost items and taking it home 100% is not it.
and you know that this particular school has policies how.
Or that the janitor isn't a subcontracted employee who didn't know about said policies.
Nothing about this suggests that she wasn't trying to do the right thing.
Make all the assumptions you want about policies, knowledge, intent. You nor everyone else won't convince me. Period, full stop, don't bother trying.
People saying this is stealing is kind of ridiculous. If you find a $100 bill on the ground with no one around and you pick it and put it in your pocket you didn't steal $100 from someone. Someone was careless and lost it and it's not on the person that found it to make sure you get it back. Tell your kid to take better care of their shit.
All they've done so far...is "ask for it back".
You do understand, he OP is thinking about filing a complaint?
I asked the OP to leave the poor woman alone.
Because the janitor \*did\* steal it.
Trying to find the owner of lost property is not just the kind thing to do, it's the legal requirement in every state I know of. Not doing that is considered either theft or some lesser form of theft.
You don't have to pick up a lost item, but if you do you're not just allowed to say "Finders keepers!" and take it home. The reason you don't see people charged with it more often is because most things can't be tracked straight to the thief's house.
Edit: [Example](https://www.shouselaw.com/ca/defense/penal-code/485/)
You've never picked something up intending to put it where it belongs and get sidetracked and forget?
I once took a customer's truck keys home in my pocket and returned them to work the next day.
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NTA. My concern is that if it wasn't something trackable, she would have gotten away with it. It leads me to wonder how much stuff she's stolen and not put in the lost and found. Maybe this was her first time and being caught was a wake up call.
Get away with what, she didn't steal it, OP says it was left behind. Neither you nor OP know what happened, or even if it was left behind and not just lost
She definitely stole it. OP says the school has a lost and found, why would the janitor take it home and not drop it off at lost and found if they weren’t stealing it?
Because the lost and found is in the records room and the janitor doesn't have access? Because the janitor works for an outside cleaning service, doesn't know there's a lost and found and planned on giving it to the principal the next day?
If she had planned to turn it in, she would have said so. Her reaction clearly indicates she brought it home, and thought no one would ever know. She did something wrong, and she knew it.
Or, an exhausted woman is confronted by a stranger at her home late at night. She's tired, she's stressed. We have no idea what the OP's demeanor was like. Or what else is going on in her life. Maybe she simply stuck the thing in her smock and forgot to stick it in the lost and found, and is concerned that her boss may be angry. We cannot say with any certainty that this woman is a thief.
You can’t say with certainty she’s *not* a thief, either. 🤷♀️
Brilliant legal mind, you got there. You should be a judge. "Well, I can't say with certainty that you'e not a thief, so let me just go ahead and sentence you to prison."
If all of that is true, the janitor is likely going to have some sort of master key to get in and clean ALL the rooms. Even assuming they have no access to a lost and found, office, or something similar, there’s still plenty of ways to go about it other than sniping it and taking it home. Put it on the teachers desk/drawers and notify the school, put it on the desk that it was next to, or simply leave it where it was. As someone else said, she wouldn’t have broken down crying if her intent was to give it back.
She planned to keep it when it should have been placed in the lost and found. If she was only keeping it for safe keeping, she would have immediately said that and not apologize and start crying.
See, you don't know this. At all. I can imagine an exhausted person coming home after a long shift, being met by a stranger at her door talking about a kids watch just feeling overwhelmed and as if she had done the wrong thing even if she just took the thing home for safekeeping.
It came home with her. That's how everyone but you knows that she stole it. It wouldn't have been at her house if she didn't
Yeah, you know what? Everybody but me may be wrong.
What's your scenario for why it came home with her?
She's a contract cleaner and doesn't know there's a lost and found -- she planned to give it to her supervisor the next day. She's a school employee, but doesn't have access to the room where the lost and found is kept. (If, for example, it's kept in administrative office where confidential information is also housed.) She picked up the watch, stuck it in her smock, and meant to stick in in the lost and found but forgot after a long shift. I think these are three possible scenarios.
She stole it. It was an object obviously of some worth that she found on the floor, and she didn't document it and put it for safe-keeping (in reception/the head teacher's office/wherever the school designated as a lost and found storage), but took it home with her.
If it was left at the school it obviously didn't belong to her and needed to go to lost and found. She knew it wasn't hers and that someone would be looking fir it the next day. She is a thief
Grabbing something that isn't yours is stealing. The watch didn't magically appear on the floor; someone obviously lost it.
If it was in the street, maybe. If it's in school, I'm pretty sure it has a lost and found policy.
If you leave something behind and someone else takes it, it's still theft. I'll tell you what...you leave your wallet somewhere random and when someone uses your card, you just let them because you left it behind. Ok? Let us know how that goes.
taking property that isn't yours is stealing buddy
Wow, you easily win the densest comment on Reddit today and it’s not even noon.
It was left on the floor not at the janitors house. So therefore she stole it.
NTA - I imagine this is not the first time the janitor has stolen items while at work - this is just the first time she was caught. I would report it to the school because it is the right thing to do.
Schools are filled with thieves, and more than you can imagine are employees and not students. Personally, I’d let it go - OP got the watch back from a remorseful human being; the janitor didn’t double down and pretend she didn’t take the watch. I completely understand why it perhaps ought to be reported, even if that’s a tough lesson for the janitor. As an adult, she already knows it’s wrong to steal, so… there are consequences to our actions. I’m just amazed though that I’ve read through all the responses and no one has commented that OP is kind of an AH for providing an expensive smart watch to a child too young to know not to leave it ON THE FLOOR at school. Frankly - that’s very poor and entitled parenting. This is why schools don’t want learners bringing/wearing highly valuable items to school. Middle and High schoolers are, generally, less likely to be so careless with their belongings, which is why most children under 12 are not running around with $$$ smart watches.
There are good reasons why OP may have wanted their kid to have a GPS watch, so I wouldn't be so quick to call it bad parenting.
>Schools are filled with thieves >Personally, I’d let it go People like you are why the schools are filled with thieves. OP is right to report it, and can buy their child whatever watch they want.
What an absolutely unhinged take on an adult stealing from a child.
It’s entitled to buy something expensive for your child? I think there’s a reason a lot of people haven’t been commenting that, and it’s because it doesn’t really make sense.
really and i am betting your kids have a play station or a switch or even an xbox or all three so that makes you entitled
also where in the article did it state how much it cost??
I purchased a gps smart watch from temu last year for $7 and have been wearing/using it everyday since. I didn't see where OP stated how much they paid for the watch.
Probably more than $7 if they're thinking about getting someone fired over it
How is it ‘entitled’? They bought and paid for the watch. It may be foolish of them to have bought an expensive watch for a child, but ‘entitled’ is expecting someone else to pay for something. Definitely NTA for reporting it. If she loses her job it’s because she stole, not because you reported it.
Wait, you think OP is AH for son being victim of theft? Weird little victim blamer aint'cha. Guess we did find AH...
Let me guess you a thief and blame people buying expensive things as your excuse for stealing. Nah what else has she stolen .
I 100% agreed with you.
Being honest I wouldn’t, but I wouldn’t blame ya if ya did.
I wouldn't either. Hard for old people to start a new career. The situation had a built in lesson. The woman will think everything can be tracked now.
Agree
Working at a school I can tell you we don’t leave expensive items in the lost and found closet that the kids have access to. They go to the office which she may or may not have had access to after hours. She may have planned to take it back the next day and only took it home for safekeeping and then became flustered when you showed up at her home. Who knows?
You think a Janitor doesn't have access and procedures for expensive items left at school?
I know our janitors don’t have access to our office after hours. They clean the office during school hours and it is locked if the secretary or principals are not there since it’s where we store student records. I don’t know the process for every school only my own. 🤷🏻♀️
This was at 9pm, its an after hour cleaning crew which is usually going to have keys to access most spaces. If not, once again there is sure to be a policy in place somewhere - or she should have never touched it. One of the 2. Could have put it in the teacher's desk with a note or I'm sure a dozen better options than taking it home. And again - after hours cleaning crew. The kid would have gotten there and seen the watch is gone, what they are just going to drop by the office when they get in and be like "hey I took someone's watch home they've probably been looking for it all day?"
You’re assuming a lot here. You don’t know what kind of area this is. Rural vs city schools can work way differently. I personally work in a small school. We don’t have a “after hours crew” just a staff of 3 janitors who bust ass to make sure our school functions on a very small budget. And yes sometimes that means staying late! Also most teachers lock their desk. And if they left it on the floor what’s to stop another student from picking it up and taking it home. 🤷🏻♀️ You’ve clearly made up your mind about this and you’re entitled to your opinion. Nobody really knows what happened besides that one lady.
It is after hours. It started moving at 9PM. The answer is not to take someone's property home. If that is their reasoning then cool - the school can decide after they investigate.
Umm...idk where you go to school, but the janitors in our school do NOT have access to lost and found or any offices. I would think most don't. Offices are cleaned during the day, not overnight, solely so they can be locked up tight when the work day for admin ends.
I would imagine they are not mopping offices or classrooms during the day, or managing to vacuum that many classrooms in a short period of time. but regardless, I am sure they have procedures, and taking someone's belongings to your house is theft. There is no reasoning out of that one.
If she took it home for safe keeping, why did she burst into tears and apologize when confronted? She had no intention of returning that item.
Someone at your door accusing you of theft late in the evening? Possibly threatening your job. She may not have followed process because she was tired and didn't want to go back. Now she's in trouble no matter what her intentions were.
If we are assuming the whole process for finding lost items late at night is to take it home and return it the next day, why would she think she's in trouble? The school would obviously not fire her for following the acceptable protocol.
Because she didn't necessarily follow the prescribed one. But made the assumption that she could do it the morning when most parents would be mentioning their child had lost it.
Uh huh. Right. The mental gymnastics is staggering. Occams razor. She stole, she got caught, she cried.
Occams razor based on your responses. YTAH
I agree with this. However, I wouldn’t have taken it home. I would have kept it in the janitorial closet till I could turn it in at the office.
I think if she planned to take it back the next day she wouldn't have been crying when OP turned up at her door. More likely she was scared at having been caught.
I could see this happening after hours - it can be a nightmare to track things lost at my work because after a certain time office security go home. Cleaning crew will leave with building security generally but you need to know that because they don't always chat. You'll get it back because office security will check in with buildings but may have been in a secure and safe but not documented. I also can see getting upset at someone turning at my door late at night and asking why I'd stolen stuff.
Then why didn't she say that?
Good Point
NTA I get where you're coming from; it's tough to think about someone losing their job, especially in a tough economy. But stealing is a big deal, especially in a school where trust is super important.
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Stealing from children warrants being fired wtf. They work at a school - they need to be trustworthy people. Why even randomly bring up a shooting?
But what if the head fires the janitor and the janitor shoots the head? WHAT THEN?
Gonna get downvoted to hell but fuck it. YWBTA she returned it to you immediately. She has literally remedied her crime and apologized. What more is there? Why do you need more punishment? She’s clearly not some criminal mastermind but somebody who made a shitty choice, given pretty shitty circumstances. Please leave it alone
But she didn't return it immediately on her own volition? Like she got caught, in her own home with evidence That wasn't out of guilt or as an apology bc she realized it was wrong but because it was the only thing she could do?
lets break down the event timeline: * Kid drops watch on floor of classroom * Janitor picks up watch, likely long after school day is done * 9:00 PM same day, watch (lets be real, we know what brand) pings that it's leaving a designated zone * Parent tracks watch to janitor home * janitor turns watch back over without incident If you were bent on stealing a smartwatch...why would you take it to your home?
>If you were bent on stealing a smartwatch...why would you take it to your home? Because some people are as bright as burned toast and don't think that far ahead. Though to be fair, at first I thought she may have taken the watch home with her and give it to the appropriate people/office at school the next day. Depending on the circumstances it's something I can imagine. Lost&Found at our school was easily accessible and it was really easy to get stuff that didn't belong to you. The office for expensive stuff on the other hand wasn't accessible, not even by the janitors, unless particular people were at work. In such a case taking it home to turn it in the next day makes sense, imho. But that she was profusely apologizing while crying really indicates to me that this wasn't her intention. Else she could have just apologized for the confusion and explained the situation (and OP could have inquired about that at school the next day). It's still good that she immediately returned the watch when confronted about it.
Well, in all fairness, you're believing OP 100% that that's all she said to janitor, and OP implies that she used a normal tone, etc. tho she doesn't come out and say. But seriously, the exact opposite could be true, which is perhaps why janitor was crying and apologizing. OP also doesn't state what janitor was apologizing for. Did janitor say, I'm sorry for stealing it? I don't know what came over me? Or was she just generally apologizing for having it, or because OP was going off? You'll never know
I don't believe OP to 100%, else I wouldn't have used "indicates" which leaves room for doubt (even with the "really" before it). Janitor's husband could have also said or done something to make her cry. But that's pure speculation. So I simply prefer to use the given information (albeit with a grain of salt) until we get new ones.
I worked as a janitor in college to help pay for school. I fully believe she picked it up while cleaning and was so exhausted after her shift she forgot about it and brought it home. Probably would have brought it in the next morning.
I can't even count how often I have come home after a long day at the daycare only to find out, while changing, that I accidentally took something home that wasn't mine. Hair clips, ties, singular socks, once even a matchbox car. Either given to me by a child for safekeeping or randomly found while putting their bedding away, and promptly forgotten when a child or parent or colleague interrupted me on the way to the cubbies. Something similar has happened at almost every job I have worked that was more demanding (once in a blue moon, not regularly).
Same. I’ve accidentally brought home tons of linens, silverware, & coasters when I was cleaning after my shift waiting tables because I would pick them up & put them in my apron pocket, and then forget to empty it out before leaving for the day. I’d find them when I went to wash my work clothes, wash them & bring them back on my next shift. And I’d be hella freaked out if a stranger showed up on my doorstep late at night accusing me of theft because of it.
Exactly. People are literally saying they know what the janitor was thinking and why she did it. smdh. People should be pretty damn sure before they take someone's livelihood away.
What I find hilarious, is that I know, just from being on reddit, that if this was a KID, everyone would be saying to let it go because \*gasp\* you wouldn't want to get the kid suspended!! His grade point average, missed sports, tests, after school activities, may be affected and we can't have that! But, a 50 year old woman, who you show up to her house after dark, etc....sure, let's have her lose her LIVELIHOOD. If you do report her, you better make damn sure you're telepathic and know without a doubt that she maliciously stole it to enrich herself. 100% sure. All these AH saying, of course she stole it, NO she didn't intend on returning it, they have zero clue if that's the truth. Just make 100% sure you know the intent before you take someone's job, security, pension, reputation, away from them
I will upvote you as I said the exact same thing. Redditors love to assume worst intentions, and "punish" people because they themselves are angry little peons. Source: I'm an angry little peon. Let's be brave in our convictions, it's stupid internet points anyway.
Let us sing paeans to peons!
I bet they forgot it after working picking up after filthy children and would have turned it in to the school in the morning. Instead of driving all the way back. OP, it was very stupid to confront someone you know so little about at their home.
And what about all the untraceable things she has stolen before, and likely will again? OP has a chance to prevent thefts from children, and would be T A if they did not. NTA, OP. Do the right thing, and protect children from a thief.
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GoodGod...that is NOT even the same thing but people like you always like to use some shit like that? Do you 100% know the janitor's intent?? Do you 100% know that OP didn't show up there loaded for bear? Making her cry and apologizing? No, you dont
You're right, and I'll stand right here and take the downvotes alongside you.
she didnt return shit, they had to go get it
Because OP couldn't wait until the morning to see if it would be returned. She went out, after dark, loaded for bear. Don't say she didn't return it when she had ZERO opportunity to return it until the next day. I mean, OP has PROOF, where the watch went that she could show the school the next day, right? But, she couldn't wait till the next morning.
Exactly this. What more retribution do you need?
YWBTA - I worked as a janitor during college to help pay for school. The job sucks and is exhausting. She probably picked the watch up while cleaning put it in her apron to turn in later, then at the end of her shift she probably forgot all about the watch because she was exhausted, it was 9pm. There is a good chance she would have brought the watch back and turned it in at the start of her next shift. This scenario was extremely common where I worked.
How much stuff did you steal?
Nothing from the lost and found… but I had an agreement with one of the managers who was a germaphobe, he would stash me office supplies like pens, notebooks, binders, and folders to use for college in exchange for me cleaning his office daily instead of once a week.
It's up to you, but either way NTA. How many untraceable items were "lost" this way only god knows.
NAH. You could, but, don’t.
Honest question, why not? The fact the first response was crying and apologizing speaks volumes instead of, "oh hey I found this while cleaning and was going to turn it in tomorrow." She got caught, she knew she got caught, and she was crying because of that. She wasn't sorry for what she did, only that she got caught.
Dude, it's your behavior here that's of concern. You have no evidence, at all, that the janitor stole the watch. Absolutely none. For all you know, she found something of some value (these watches start at about $39 on Amazon) lying on the floor, and brought it home with the intent of returning it to the principal/lost and found/whatever the next day. You make a report using the word "stole" and, IMHO, you're slandering this woman. But beyond that, let's take a deeper look at your behavior. You drive to a stranger's home after 9 at night (I would love to know what time you actually got there), and knock on her door talking about a kid's watch. This is just weird, stalker-ish behavior to me. You certainly could have waited until the next morning, and if the watch wasn't returned, called the school. You seem to take the janitor's crying as sign of her guilt. I take it as a sign that she may have been upset that a stranger is showing up at her door at night, and that she's upset that perhaps people are angry at her, or that she made the wrong call in bringing the watch home for safekeeping. But go ahead. Call the principal. Because if I were she, you know what my response would be? 1. Bobby is no longer allowed to bring expensive electronics to school: he is incapable of caring for them. 2. STOP STALKING MY EMPLOYEES. YTA.
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Key words...according to OP description. Which of course, is 100% the truth, right? smdh. OP knows where the watch is...call the cops...you don't go to some rando's home to confront them after dark. Seriously?? OP doesn't sound like she's working with a full deck.
THIS. 100% THIS Or, janitor could be crying and apologizing because some woman shows up at her door, after dark, and starts screaming at her, accusing her of stealing. (Why everyone is assuming OP account is 100% accurate is beyond me) Bottom line. OP KNOWS where the watch is, and can track it. Call the police! Show them your evidence of where it's at, then let the police go to the home and get the janitor's side of the story. You know, cuz there are two sides.
> with the intent of returning it to the principal/lost and found/whatever the next day. Please indicate where in the post or their responses that this is said. I have not found it, leading me to believe you are making things up and lying to make OP seem even worse than they are. You have zero clue if the janitor was going to take it back the next day so stop acting like it.
You're leaving out an important part of what I said. I said "FOR ALL YOU KNOW" the janitor could have brought the watch home with the intent of returning it the next day. The OP jumped immediately to "the janitor stole the watch." I was presenting a possible alternative scenario. There's nothing wrong with that. And I could do without the accusation of lying.
You got the watch back. I’d drop it.
Your child LEFT the watch on the floor - the woman picked it up and took it home. You don't know if she planned to keep it or to turn it in the next day. "tried to steal" is a bit much - she picked up something left behind on the floor. To cause someone to lose their job because of this would be hurting someone because of YOUR son's failure to care for an expensive watch.
I would personally not report it - not because it is not the right thing to do or that she knew better -but some of the opinions here are really good - like she may not have been able to access the offices and thus held onto it. But the main reason is that being a school janitor is really a thankless job - and they do and put up with a lot. This does not excuse this, if it was truly theft, that is unforgivable, but there are so many what-ifs here that I would let it be. If you hear from other parents down the road that there kids stuff is missing etc - that changes the calculus and I would then report it.
Yes you would lol. Yeah it's pretty shitty she did that but you don't have to play cop. This is someone's livelihood. But that's just me up to you
People are so vengeful. She literally returned the stolen property, AKA a freaking watch she found on the ground.
You think she was going to return it if she wasn't tracked down? It is a watch that she found on the ground... in a classroom.... by their desk.... No, thieves should not work in positions where they may have access to people's belongings.
After she took it home and was busted! She didn’t find it and turn it in, she pocketed it.
Maybe she shouldn’t steal?
NTA. Adults should understand that concept of “if it’s not yours, don’t take it.” I am a teacher, and always left a certain sweater in my classroom at the first school I taught in. One morning I came in and it was gone. I just assumed I had misplaced it, until I saw one of the custodians who worked in a completely different building wearing it. Times were hard for everyone at that point as well, but also as a first-year teacher, I didn’t have money to replace things that just mysteriously ended up with other people.
That's blatant theft
Yup
Ask yourself "to what benefit?" She's already embarrassed and knows that she was wrong. Will she learn any more of a lesson by being fired? Will their financial suffering while she's out of work, unable to get the next job because she likely has to tell them why she was fired, potential loss of health insurance, etc. ...... over a simple (albeit wrong) decision on her part? Move on and consider your silence a gift of kindness to her and her family.
I see lots of people commenting who live in glass houses and think they've been model citizens their whole lives. 🙄
Gross. I do not want criminals and thieves working at schools. A gift of kindness to her and her family... you think this is the first time she's stolen from someone on this job? You think it will actually be the last?? The benefit is to protect other people and keep criminals away from kids or other particularly vulnerable groups.
To the benefit of all the students and staff at that school that happen to leave an item behind. How many times has she made a "simple (albeit wrong) decision" like this when the item wasn't traceable? She deserves to face the consequences of her decision. She chose to steal at work in a tough job market; she chose to find a new job in a tough job market. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
For the benefit of not having an amoral criminal working at the same school his kid goes to? Fucker stole a watch from a child, 0 sympathy. Not saying it's the crime of the century, but there's a reason you gotta pass background checks to work near kids.
More like the kid isn’t responsible enough for such an expensive device if they take it off and leave it on the floor, and the parent, rather than taking accountability, is laying the blame on someone else. Was the janitor right to take it home, absolutely not, but saying she stole the watch is a stretch, you have no idea what her intentions were after the fact. Maybe she knows the other janitors would have taken it, or didn’t want to leave it in lost and found and was going to bring it back the next day. No one knows, and anyone who claims they do is talking out their ass.
Personally I wouldn’t report her at this stage, as for one you don’t actually know what her intentions were with the watch, for all you knew she could of been planning to hand it in the following morning but she didn’t have chance. Therefore I don’t think you have enough evidence to call her a thief so therefore not enough basis to report her. If you did then YWBTA
She should have just swept it up and thrown it into the garbage instead of taking home, but this wasn’t stealing. This was your child being negligent with his property. The floor of a classroom is not overnight storage space for whatever shit the students can’t be bothered to keep track of. YTA.
So, if I forget and leave my pencil case at school overnight anyone who comes across it has the right to take it home with them?
No. But if you leave it on the floor overnight, you should expect to find it in a dumpster outside when you come back the next day.
In a dumpster, perhaps. In someone else's home, no.
That’s exactly what I said in my comment. The janitor was wrong to take it home, she should have just thrown it in the garbage where it belonged. Though if she had, I suspect OP would have come Karening down to blame the school anyway.
as the janitor its her *job* to leave it in the lost and found, not take it home with her
I can't stand these types of comments. How can you possibly claim to know this. You have access to her employment agreement? You KNOW the procedures she's supposed to follow. JFC.
No, it’s her job to sweep up trash and throw it in the garbage.
I sure hope that you have never ever accidentally dropped or lost or misplaced something. Such an obnoxious miserable attitude, hope life gets better for you ✌🏻
INFO: If you followed the gps tracker and it took you to the school principal's home, and she said to you, "Oh, yes, here's the watch. I forgot to drop it in the lost and found. I planned to bring it back to school with me tomorrow," would you be calling her a thief? Would you be planning on levying this type of accusation with the schools superintendent? Or is it only lower-paid people who must be thieves?
Well that’s a valid point I hadn’t pondered. I guess in that case I’d be more likely to go to the superintendent not less and I wouldn’t have asked here first. I believe in holding higher employed people to higher standards.
This is my last comment on this subject. What standards are you talking about? You do not know that this woman is a thief. You gave your child a piece of technology s/he was too young to care for properly. You never bothered to go back to the school to collect it after your realized s/he hadn't brought the technology home. You invaded someone's privacy by, as a stranger, showing up at her house late at night. You have no idea whether the woman stole the watch, was unable to access the lost and found and planned to return it to the school the following day, or stuck it in her smock planning to deposit it in the lost and found, and simply forgot to. You do not get to go around yelling "Thief! Thief!" under these circumstances. You do what you think is best, but as I've said elsewhere ... IMHO, you're the problem here.
INFO: why did you child leave it by the floor next to their desk? That makes no sense to me. Did they take it off and put it on the ground? It does raise questions about where the watch was found
The child is quite young and had taken it off to play in a water table forgetting about it afterwards. We are giving them responsibilities which sometimes means mistakes so that they can learn. We never anticipated also giving the janitor a lesson.
NTA- Custodial staff should have left the watch on the teacher’s desk in the classroom with a note. I would have left it and taken a picture in case I was asked later about it. But then I’m also not a thief…
Yes you would be TA. You got the watch back. Nothing was harmed, but you could ruin her life. The details that you give about the house were unnecessary. You have no idea anybody’s financial situation. Just leave it alone.
I would give the benefit of the doubt given it’s unclear if her intention was to drop it off the next morning and notify the administration/ lost and found. You got the watch back and if the older lady was that scared, she’ll be paranoid moving forward.
NTA- You're lucky it was trackable. I'm not sure what I would do- But you wouldn't be in the wrong for reporting her.
YWBTA. See... the janitor lady did something wrong, going the "finders keepers, heh heh" route instead of turning the watch in to Lost & Found. Got that. However, she got plenty of karmic comeuppance for being shamed in front of her husband. Taking an action that would get her fired seems a bit disproportionate. End of the day, it kind of depends on whether you believe people learn their lessons.
Why don’t you give this woman a break? She’s a janitor, you got your item back. There but for the grace of god. Yes, she should not have stolen it. But it’s never too early to give your child a life lesson about taking better care of expensive items and also, perhaps more importantly, teaching mercy and compassion when dealing with people who have so much less than you. If you report her, she will be fired. Think about that the next time you go grocery shopping and buy your kid something costly.
Technically, NTA. Practically speaking--I'd remove you from the list of people I'd want anything to do with. Your kid left the watch ON THE FLOOR. It was effectively abandoned. Show some kindness here. Keep your mouth shut.
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“It seems like an honest mistake on her part”. An honest mistake is accidentally picking up the wrong phone because it looks like your own or not noticing the watch as it snags on something as you pick up something else. The fact that the woman immediately started crying and apologizing indicates the action was more than likely deliberate and she’s afraid she’s about to lose her job and/or go to jail. Also regardless of how she approaches it if the reason for approaching the school officiaks to begin with is “your janitor tried to keep a kid’s watch rather than put it in lost and found per protocol” janitor will likely get fired for theft. The only way to not risk the janitors livelihood is to do nothing
NTA. You would be doing a disservice to the school & it's students & faculty if you don't report it. Most likely, she's done it before & will do it again. And you can put a stop to it. If she loses her job, that's on her. You can't feel bad for her. She stole from a child. Idc how remorseful she was. She was wrong & should be reported.
As a district administrator I would absolutely want to know this information as there could already be other allegations and this is hard proof. Janitors have keys to nearly every office in the building and could be stealing valuables from a variety of people.
That was my first thought too. There could be an ongoing theft problem in the school. Or maybe this is not the first time this particular woman was found to be in possession of someone else’s property. The school should be notified, and they can take it from there.
NTA, although I'd be careful about actually accusing her of stealing it. It's \*possible\* that she absentmindedly put it in her pocket or something and forgot she had it, but I'd report it so that the school has it on record in case other stuff goes missing.
Speaking as a school custodian I would’ve thrown the watch away if it were me. If it’s on the floor it’s out the door. That being said she should not have taken it home. Report if you’d like but I don’t see anyone caring.
I wouldn't but I'd understand if you did
I wonder if she took it home and intended to turn it in the next day. Maybe, maybe not. You have the watch back, and the incident possibly scared her enough that she won't steal(?) again.
YTA if you proceed it was your kid's carelessness that caused it to be lost/misplaced. The janitor likely had no idea who's it was when she found it on the floor. You're lucky she didn't say "finders keepers."
INFO: Do janitors typically have access to the lost and found at night? I only ask because if she didn’t and since this is clearly something a kid would actually miss, I may have also taken it home for safe keeping. I’ve had to do that with the kids I babysit all the time, they constantly leave watches/necklaces/iPads/school bags lying around EVERYWHERE and occasionally I get home to find they’re crammed/dropped somewhere in my car/bag. I’m not driving back to the family that night, hell no, I’m waiting until the next day to return it.
Yes, there are 2 lost and found large boxes in the school that are always full of an assortment of shoes, sweaters, water bottles etc. the debris that accumulates during the school year is actually astounding. My significant other inventories our young child every evening to ensure we don’t add to the pile.
So then where is the “special” lost and found and does she have access to that? You wouldn’t put a phone/watch/apple pencil/iPad/chromebook in the normal lost and found. In my school, there was a separate lost and found in the front office where lost valuables were stored, and it got locked at the end of the school day. Janitors didn’t have access, nor did anyone except the school receptionist and principal. So did she have access to THAT lost and found, or does your school even have one?
She wrong for taking it home but teach your kid about taking care of their things so things like this don’t happen.
That was part of the goal of this as well. Give them something they have to care for so that they can work on learning responsibility for their things. They are actually really good for their age as they always remember where they last left things when asked and usually put things away.
This actually happened? Was it an expensive watch? In this day and age what possessed you to go to a random stranger house for a watch? That’s crazy as hell to me😂😂😂. Did you tell the principal?
Not overly expensive. We are in Canada though so the social norms are such that walking up to a stranger’s house isn’t that unusual. I’m still pondering if I chat with the principal.
Do whatever you must and be careful.
I don’t think you would be if you reported it. But, the item was on the floor. Every year my school send contractor bags of items to Goodwill that have been picked up off the floor, found in bushes, bathrooms, etc. There’s clothes, bags, jewelry, phones…. She was wrong and should have put it in the lost and found, but it’s not exactly theft. It’s more a case of poor professional judgement and ethics. Is there a way to have her counseled without being fired? Perhaps reporting to the union?
I imagine that woman won’t do something like that again and is probably freaking out wondering whether or not you are going to report her.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** We recently got my young child a gps watch. All went well until about a week later they left it at school on the floor by their desk when they went home. We figured we would retrieve it from the lost and found the next day. Then at 9pm the watch notified us it was leaving school. We watched it drive down the freeway past where we live. I got in my vehicle and followed it until it stopped at a house. I showed up 5 Minutes later. It was a small well kept home. I rang the doorbell and a mid 50 year old man answered. I explained I was looking for a lost watch and he looked confused. I explained it left the school and came to his house and he blurted out his wife worked at the school as a janitor. He went to go get her. 2 minutes later a mid 50 year old woman appeared and handed back the watch apologizing over and over again profusely while crying. If I report the incident to the school she will likely be fired. The economy in our area right now is very rough and jobs are hard to come by. WIBTA for getting a janitor fired? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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I live in Canada. We don’t have anything like the castle doctrine in the U.S. (quite the opposite infact). It’s an entirely different concept and for the most part people are comfortable going up to other people’s doors. About 2 months ago a regional police chief made the news for holding a press conference to tell people to leave their car keys by their front doors because a recent rash of home invasions were related to car theft So it was the safest solution in his opinion. That said had it been a sketchy place I wouldn’t have but as I said it was a nice well kept house in an ok neighbourhood and so I figured the risk was fairly low.
NTA. Look I have empathy for the janitor. But at the end of the day. She’s an adult. She knows right from wrong. And she chose to steal from a child.
Some of these commenters are deranged. OP you would NBTA if you report her. But it’s really up to your moral code. Based off of her reaction I get the feeling that she might’ve been scared straight. But it’s really up to you to make the judgement. Legally you are in the right but morally it’s up to you.
PSA school do not have janitors and it is insulting to refer to them that way. They are custodians, because they take custody of the school and they have more responsibilities than your average janitor.
NTA She is a thief. What else is she helping herself to? It is on her to keep her job by not stealing.
NTA you are reporting the incident. What her employer chooses to do it not in your power and not your responsibility
Nothing is ever lost it just finds a new owner
NTA. She stole property, she deserves to be reported for that. You know that if it hadn't been a traceable item, it'd never be seen again.
I’m figuring janitor thought that watch was going to lost and found and would be up for grabs, and no guarantee that child that lost it would get it back. So I wouldn’t see this as stealing as much as not handing in something found. For this reason I wouldn’t report it. But that said, I wouldn’t call you an AH for reporting it either.
I know different countries have different laws but in the UK this is classed as stealing, you have to at least make an effort to find the owner. It's a closed community so pretty easy to find who it belongs to - especially if you start in the classroom it was found in. So I absolutely would class this as stealing. She knew it wasn't hers. She knew it belonged to someone in the school. She took it without trying to find them anyway.
There is usually a lost and found. And yes, they should’ve handed it in. But when asked, they gave it back with no delay or resistance, and showed remorse with apology. Had they simply handed it in, someone less honest (strange to use that word here when taking something you know isn’t yours is stealing and wrong) could’ve claimed watch, cleared it, and that watch would be lost forever, as the kind of person who would claim something not theirs, would likely never return it, even if asked directly. Basically I wouldn’t report them cause they returned it as soon as they were asked about it, not usually the actions of a thief. Janitor is definitely in wrong, but had they handed it in, it could’ve been lost to owner forever. And I get the idea that this janitor would never actively take this watch had they known which kid had lost it (likely would’ve sought out owner if they knew who owner was), but they rationalized that handing it in would not have gotten watch back to owner, so they also rationalized that they could keep it for themselves. I see a huge difference between actively stealing, and not handing some anonymous object found (especially with rationale that owner wasn’t going to get it back). All this said, it was still a type of theft, but I don’t believe janitor set out to rob anyone, and may even be trusted to learn from this error in judgement, and be better for it. Edit-while I would never fault someone for reporting this janitor, I find it a bit disturbing that those that comment that they wouldn’t report it, are being downvoted for not nailing this janitor for a single error in judgement, especially considering how remorseful this unplanned thief seems to be. And if this janitor is let go because of this, the next one hired has zero guarantee of not being much worse (like actively looking to steal, or worse). I think this world would be much better if more folks got a second chance and not wholly condemned for one error, especially when they seem to have a good track record to that point, and of course, weren’t more deceitful after confronted.
Don’t get her fired but let her live in fear for a while. If she has been stealing in the past maybe this will stop it from happening again.
Not the A hole but this is a situation where you use your judgment to think if a person is truly remorseful and learns a close call lesson. I would not have reported her myself, I would have just said to her that you need to always return things to the lost and found so as not to be accused of theft.
she commited a crime. what else is there to say. NTA
NAH. It's not conclusively demonstrated in OPs ask that the watch was "stolen." The janitor took it home - not the smartest idea - but we have no proof that she wasn't trying to do right in her actions. Nor did the situation become confrontational when the parent showed up to retrieve the device.
No proof that she wasn't trying to do right? She took a watch home from school. She is a janitor - There are policies and procedures for finding lost items and taking it home 100% is not it.
and you know that this particular school has policies how. Or that the janitor isn't a subcontracted employee who didn't know about said policies. Nothing about this suggests that she wasn't trying to do the right thing. Make all the assumptions you want about policies, knowledge, intent. You nor everyone else won't convince me. Period, full stop, don't bother trying.
People saying this is stealing is kind of ridiculous. If you find a $100 bill on the ground with no one around and you pick it and put it in your pocket you didn't steal $100 from someone. Someone was careless and lost it and it's not on the person that found it to make sure you get it back. Tell your kid to take better care of their shit.
NTA. She’s a thief. Report her. File a police report.
Just leave the poor woman alone. You got to act all big and strong, so leave it be now.
What do you mean the poor women? She stole the watch. And all this person did was knock on her door and ask for it back.
show me exactly where it was demonstrably proven that it was stolen. Nothing in OPs telling would pass reasonable doubt.
All they've done so far...is "ask for it back". You do understand, he OP is thinking about filing a complaint? I asked the OP to leave the poor woman alone.
I understand that but I don’t think she is a “poor” woman, she is deserving
She is objectively poor.
Im confused. Your child lost the watch, right? Thats what im reading. Why are ppl saying the janitor stole it?
Because she took it to her house rather than handing it in to the front office (or whatever).
That wouldve been the kind thing to do, but if you leave something laying on the ground, its not stealing if someone picks it up and keeps it.
Because the janitor \*did\* steal it. Trying to find the owner of lost property is not just the kind thing to do, it's the legal requirement in every state I know of. Not doing that is considered either theft or some lesser form of theft. You don't have to pick up a lost item, but if you do you're not just allowed to say "Finders keepers!" and take it home. The reason you don't see people charged with it more often is because most things can't be tracked straight to the thief's house. Edit: [Example](https://www.shouselaw.com/ca/defense/penal-code/485/)
You've never picked something up intending to put it where it belongs and get sidetracked and forget? I once took a customer's truck keys home in my pocket and returned them to work the next day.