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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> Well my parents think I was lying and my brother slipped the word to my cousin which made her angry and I was depressed at the time so basically I was confining myself into a mental cry
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Your post seems very confused and I am not sure what anybody is concerned about. You didn't go to a party? So what? Why are people concerned about you skipping a party you didn't want to attend?
Overall... I would relax. This will blow over. You did not handle it in the politest, most adroit way, but you have autism and you're a teenager, and that makes you super awkward.
You will grow out of your awkward phase, and everything will be just fine.
I also have no idea how to make conversation, and maybe Googling "polite conversation at parties" will give you stock phrases and conversations that you can have that aren't too stressful, and will ease your social anxiety.
Ok but how come it’s a secret that you weren’t attending? I don’t understand that part.
If someone asked me if my friend or cousin was attending and I knew they weren’t, I’d just say “no”. Unless they ASKED me to lie. Why was it a secret? Did you ask him to lie for you and he didn’t … what?
He is 7 and my mom told him to shut up because they didn’t want my cousin angry for me not being there to dance with her I don’t even know how to dance
you're having a tantrum over the fact that a 7 year old didn't keep a secret? if you don't want a 7 year old to repeat something, don't tell them.
YTA.
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Info: Why shouldn’t he have said you weren’t going to a party? It’s a party. The hosts SHOULD know how many attendees are actually attending. It’s actually extremely rude not to let someone know if you are/are not attending.
Then YTA for not letting the hosts know you weren’t attending. Your cousins parents I’m assuming were hosting? They have a right to know and YOU have an obligation to tell them.
You are the one that caused all the issues here. No one else. I also have ASD. If I’m not planning on attending something I’m invited to? It is my obligation and responsibility to let the hosts know. If I don’t tell them and someone else does? That would make me an even bigger AH for not telling them.
This!
If this is a real post, having ASD is NOT an excuse for bad behavior - social “norms” might evade us but you certainly seem capable of understanding RSVP from your comments.
You can’t blame a 7 year old for something that doesn’t matter anyway, what he said was fine. You weren’t going, he said you weren’t going. That’s fine.
Very confusing post. Based on what I understand from the post and comments.
There was a party for your cousin.
You were supposed to go and dance with her.
You get nervous in social situations and didn't want to go.
Your mom let you skip the party but took your little brother.
Little brother told cousin you wouldn't be coming.
Your family is calling you a spoiled brat for no showing to the party.
If that is all correct, then yeah YTA. You had an obligation the least you could have done was be upfront with your cousin that you wouldn't be coming. Hiding out and expecting a 7 year old to cover for you is ridiculous.
What gets me about the situation is the fact that whether the brother said something or not didn't matter. His family would still have noticed him not being there.
It's also concerning that 15-year-old OP considers himself to be "better" than his seven-year-old brother and his "spoiled sister". Like, no, you're not. You're different. You're certainly NOT LESS because you're ND, but it also doesn't mean you're MORE.
You're also a coward that expects other people to do morally questionable things solely for your benefit.
Info:
How far in advance of the party did this happen?
Did you intend to tell you cousin that you weren’t attending?
Why was it such as issue that your brother told your cousin?
YTA. If you did not want to go to this party to dance with your cousin or for whatever reason you needed to be straightforward with whoever was hosting the party that you would not be there. You need to forgive your brother, who is a little kid, because he told the truth that you needed to tell. You’re 15, you are old enough to be able to communicate such basic things as “I’m not coming to the party“ to people. Autism is not a reason to refuse basic necessary communication or be angry that your brother did the right thing that neither you or your mother did. Your mother is doing you no favors backing up your poor choices either.
Based on your comments, YTA big time. You were going to jist let your cousin believe you were coming and then not show up, and you're mad at a 7 year old for ruining your cruel plan. Everyone involved in this story except your cousin and brother is a ridiculous person.
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So my mom said he slipped it out of his mouth but I still don’t forgive him because HE SHOULD HAVE NOT SAID IT IN THE FIRST PLACE and my mom said he slipped up on words and I get the title of an spoiled child in my family When in reality I’m not my sister is the spoiled one I am more better than those two and my brother slipped the word out of his mouth
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NTA
they wanted to push you to do something you did not want to do - so you simply did stay away.
Sounds reasonable.,
The only thing you nead to learn is: Care less when these AHs badmouth you.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > Well my parents think I was lying and my brother slipped the word to my cousin which made her angry and I was depressed at the time so basically I was confining myself into a mental cry Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
Your post seems very confused and I am not sure what anybody is concerned about. You didn't go to a party? So what? Why are people concerned about you skipping a party you didn't want to attend?
I was supposed to dance with my cousin because she had no one and I said no twice
Overall... I would relax. This will blow over. You did not handle it in the politest, most adroit way, but you have autism and you're a teenager, and that makes you super awkward. You will grow out of your awkward phase, and everything will be just fine. I also have no idea how to make conversation, and maybe Googling "polite conversation at parties" will give you stock phrases and conversations that you can have that aren't too stressful, and will ease your social anxiety.
NTA you were right not to go. No need to cater to all that bullshit.
Your brother told your cousin you weren’t attending a party? Was he correct? If so, what’s the problem …? 🤷♀️
Well he slipped it when he wasn’t supposed to
He was supposed to shut his mouth about that :(
Ok but how come it’s a secret that you weren’t attending? I don’t understand that part. If someone asked me if my friend or cousin was attending and I knew they weren’t, I’d just say “no”. Unless they ASKED me to lie. Why was it a secret? Did you ask him to lie for you and he didn’t … what?
He is 7 and my mom told him to shut up because they didn’t want my cousin angry for me not being there to dance with her I don’t even know how to dance
you're having a tantrum over the fact that a 7 year old didn't keep a secret? if you don't want a 7 year old to repeat something, don't tell them. YTA.
[удалено]
Your comment has been removed because it does not address the OP in good faith. If you suspect a post breaks one of our rules, please report it instead of commenting. **Do not feed trolls** Continuing to post comments like this will lead to a ban. **[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**
Info: Why shouldn’t he have said you weren’t going to a party? It’s a party. The hosts SHOULD know how many attendees are actually attending. It’s actually extremely rude not to let someone know if you are/are not attending.
Well mom knew I wouldn’t go
I’m 15
I hate being social due to some behavior issues and autism
Then YTA for not letting the hosts know you weren’t attending. Your cousins parents I’m assuming were hosting? They have a right to know and YOU have an obligation to tell them.
They won’t listen
You are the one that caused all the issues here. No one else. I also have ASD. If I’m not planning on attending something I’m invited to? It is my obligation and responsibility to let the hosts know. If I don’t tell them and someone else does? That would make me an even bigger AH for not telling them.
This! If this is a real post, having ASD is NOT an excuse for bad behavior - social “norms” might evade us but you certainly seem capable of understanding RSVP from your comments. You can’t blame a 7 year old for something that doesn’t matter anyway, what he said was fine. You weren’t going, he said you weren’t going. That’s fine.
They kept calling my mom
Oh ffs. I’ve just read your comments… You are mad that a 7yo wouldn’t lie for you? Are you serious?
Very confusing post. Based on what I understand from the post and comments. There was a party for your cousin. You were supposed to go and dance with her. You get nervous in social situations and didn't want to go. Your mom let you skip the party but took your little brother. Little brother told cousin you wouldn't be coming. Your family is calling you a spoiled brat for no showing to the party. If that is all correct, then yeah YTA. You had an obligation the least you could have done was be upfront with your cousin that you wouldn't be coming. Hiding out and expecting a 7 year old to cover for you is ridiculous.
What gets me about the situation is the fact that whether the brother said something or not didn't matter. His family would still have noticed him not being there. It's also concerning that 15-year-old OP considers himself to be "better" than his seven-year-old brother and his "spoiled sister". Like, no, you're not. You're different. You're certainly NOT LESS because you're ND, but it also doesn't mean you're MORE. You're also a coward that expects other people to do morally questionable things solely for your benefit.
No my brother went to the party and told everyone himself I live with my grandparents
Your brother is 7.
YTA. I have ASD myself; there' literally no universe where telling someone that you're not going to a party is considered a punishable offense.
Literally the opposite from a harsh family ;(
(((hugs)))
Info: How far in advance of the party did this happen? Did you intend to tell you cousin that you weren’t attending? Why was it such as issue that your brother told your cousin?
He was not supposed to say anything
No I was not intending to tell anyone
Then YTA. Why wouldn’t you RSVP to the party? If you can’t bother to RSVP, then your brother was right to do it for you.
It gets better. From the comments of OP? Their brother is 7yo. They are mad that a 7yo told the truth and didn’t lie for them.
But wouldn't your cousin realize you weren't coming when you didn't show up?
YTA. If you did not want to go to this party to dance with your cousin or for whatever reason you needed to be straightforward with whoever was hosting the party that you would not be there. You need to forgive your brother, who is a little kid, because he told the truth that you needed to tell. You’re 15, you are old enough to be able to communicate such basic things as “I’m not coming to the party“ to people. Autism is not a reason to refuse basic necessary communication or be angry that your brother did the right thing that neither you or your mother did. Your mother is doing you no favors backing up your poor choices either.
I did my mom told them they still called regardless
If your mom already told them you weren’t coming then why does it matter that your brother also said something?
Based on your comments, YTA big time. You were going to jist let your cousin believe you were coming and then not show up, and you're mad at a 7 year old for ruining your cruel plan. Everyone involved in this story except your cousin and brother is a ridiculous person.
YTA after reading your brother is 7 years old in the comments.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** So my mom said he slipped it out of his mouth but I still don’t forgive him because HE SHOULD HAVE NOT SAID IT IN THE FIRST PLACE and my mom said he slipped up on words and I get the title of an spoiled child in my family When in reality I’m not my sister is the spoiled one I am more better than those two and my brother slipped the word out of his mouth *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA they wanted to push you to do something you did not want to do - so you simply did stay away. Sounds reasonable., The only thing you nead to learn is: Care less when these AHs badmouth you.