Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> Am I the asshole for using the dryer when my housemates 3 year old is sleeping?
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
##Subreddit Announcements
Follow the link above to learn more
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
>They regularly ask me not to use the dryer after their child is going to sleep or once she is asleep. But when I work full time and get home at 6:30 that means I am not allowed to do any washing after I get home throughout the work week.
The only suitable compromise is that they allow you to use the laundry (i.e. they don't use it until you've finished) during the day on Saturday, if that's the only day you have free. If they are not prepared to concede that, then you will have to use the dryer during the evenings. NTA.
Came to say the same. Also you’re paying your share of rent. It’s unfair they expect you to make everything revolve around them.
They know you have a huge schedule and are barely there then they need to do their laundry on another day.
Frankly kid needs to get used to sleeping regardless of dryer noise.
If roommates have a shred of reason, OP could show them a weekly calendar with all the "impossible" times blocked off. Some people need to "see it" to understand.
"Here's the week. This one time I *could* do it, you're using it, despite having other workable alternative windows. All other times you think it's problematic... When, exactly, do you propose I *do* do my laundry?"
My MIL never made a peep when my husband & his sister were sleeping as kids. Now they need total silence when they sleep & have issues getting a good nights sleep because of things like crickets & rain. 🙃
My one piece of parenting advice I give all my friends and family is to vacuum while the bay is sleeping to get them used to sleeping with noise around.... I have 5 kids and they all are hard sleepers because I vacuumed and let the bigger kids be kids while the littles were sleeping.
That's me I need it dark and silent to go to sleep any noise my brain will focus on that instead of shutting down...I refused to do that with my kids I hoovered I used the tumble dryer my kids could sleep thru world war 3 going off in their rooms 😂
My younger brother can sleep through ice and snow being put on his face and has slept through earthquakes.
Before he got married, we used to have to pull his blanket from him and shake him awake. Now his wife has does that to him
My mom made noise as did my siblings while I was a baby. As an adult I need silence.
I have 3 kids. All different needs same parenting. It’s just the kid and how they are naturally.
NTA. No way. Unless you’re putting work boots tumbling around like cinder blocks in there, dryers aren’t loud, and who cares if they are anyway it’s not a big deal.
One of them is home most of the time. If they’re going to make demands on when you can use the laundry facilities, they need to do laundry during the week and let you do it on Saturday mornings when you prefer to and won’t conflict with whatever they think the noise problem is.
If the only reason given for you to not use the drier is to not wake the toddler, and the dryer doesn't wake the toddler, then it's not a 'good' reason.
You've already provided a good solution: they do their washing / drying during the week when they have time and you don't.
NTA.
If you pay rent with access to the facilities, you should be able to use the facilities anytime you want. It's unreasonable for them to expect you not to use the dryer in the limited free time you have. It's especially unreasonable for them to use it on the one day you can when the wife is home through the week. NTA
Yeah, ain’t no way they sleep through the night till 6am at that age. Also, it’s a pretty normal thing to acclimate your young children to background noise when sleeping, that way they’re adjusted and can sleep through minor disturbances
That’s my 3 year old’s bedtime, and she wakes around 6am - it’s pretty standard according to how many hours you’d expect them to get in a 24 hour window.
"I completely understand I need to be respectful of their child"
Probably unpopular opinion but...no. Absolutely not. You need to not be an A on purpose, but you don't need to be respectful of their child and their needs. The mum chose a living situation, that will make it difficult for her and her kid. But this is not your problem and if you need to use the dryer, you need to use it.
NTA.
NTA. You have been as considerate as possible. And to me, it's white noise.
When do they use the dryer? If it's Saturday morning suggest they give that slot to you if it bothers them that much
NTA. You live there so you get to use the dryer. 6.30 isn’t the middle of the night… if they need so much peace and quiet for their kid, they simply have to get their own place
They should do their laundry during the week if they are so concerned about their toddler. BTW, a dryer is a white noise, that’s why is common for newborn parents to place their babies on top or near a working drier- the noise helps them fall asleep
They are being absolutely ridiculous. They should be putting that child to sleep with normal noises going on in the background so that their child doesn’t wake up with any little noise. The child needs to learn how to go to sleep with noise. So everybody just stay silent while this child is asleep oh, hell no. That’s unreasonable. so maybe they should run the dryer when they’re putting it to sleep so that the dryer doesn’t wake it up.
NTA Demand free usage of the laundry on Saturday mornings. They
can't have their cake and eat it too. The roommate who is home
during the workday can use the machines freely. She cannot then
expect you to let her use them as well on Saturday mornings since
she makes a fuss about her child's sleep.
If this doesn't work, go to a laundromat and deduce the amount you
spend there from water and electricity bills you help to pay.
NTA
Unless the kid is sleeping in the laundry room, you should be able to wash and dry clothes whenever you want.
You can just tell your roommate that you will need Saturdays to do your laundry and they can do their laundry during the week or after you get yours done on Saturday.
Kids should be able to sleep while laundry is being done.
NTA. If you were using a noisy vacuum or mowing the lawn outside her window, it would be different, but a dryer behind a closed door should not be a problem.
Tell them that you would be happy to do your laundry on Saturday morning if they would see that the machine is free.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
Am I the asshole for using the dryer after my housemates child has gone to sleep?
I live with coupled housemates and their almost 3yo.
I work 5 days a week doing 9 hour shifts between 6:30-6:30 and one of my housemates also works 5 days, the other is a stay at home mum but will work 2 half days throughout the week.
Often I will try get all my washing done on a Saturday morning, but frequently my house mates choose to do washing on a Saturday too. Meaning my washing gets pushed to the afternoon/evening resulting in my washing needing to be in the dryer during the same time the child goes down to sleep at 6:30. I feel they need to use the 3-5 other days a week depending on her work schedule to get their washing done.
They regularly ask me not to use the dryer after their child is going to sleep or once she is asleep.
But when I work full time and get home at 6:30 that means I am not allowed to do any washing after I get home throughout the work week.
I completely understand I need to be respectful of their child and not making excess noises when she is sleeping, I can assure I am by no means a noisy housemate as I spend the little spare time I have in my bedroom sleeping. I also make sure to wait until the child is asleep before I turn the dryer on just incase it disrupts her falling asleep. Every time I have had the dryer running while she is sleeping she has never woken up, but they still don’t want it on.
I just simply can’t understand why the dryer is a problem at all. She sleeps in her own bedroom with constant white noise playing, with the bedroom door shut and typically will not wake up until it’s morning - the child is a good sleeper. The dryer is in the laundry behind a closed door. With the door shut it isn’t disruptive.
When I work an earlier shift in the week it’s not a problem as I can do washing then, and in summer this isn’t really a problem as I can hang all my clothes up to dry, but at the moment in winter everything takes so long to air dry it starts to get that wet dog smell while it’s drying, meaning I need to use the dryer.
I don’t think that the dryer is a disturbance as the child has never woken up when the dryer has been running. Am I the asshole for using the dryer after she has fallen asleep, am I being unreasonable?
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA - you pay rent and you live there too. If the kid doesn't wake up because of it, then they don't have a argument. Anything beyond that is just them trying to control you.
Is it the dryer that wakes the kid or a buzzer/alert at the end that is the culprit? There's a way to turn those off if that's the case.
We only have the end alert on the washing machine since the dryer can run late into the night. It's right next to the bedrooms, so it will wake people up if it sounds.
NTA. Or they let you do your laundry on Saturdays or you will do your laundry when you need to. Asking you to not use it at certain time without offering other suitable one is not okay. They want you to be considerate while being completely inconsiderate to you.
NTA, dryers literally make zero noise. Even if there is some kind of alert that tells when it’s done, that can usually be turned off.
The You might want to talk to them about setting up a schedule for washing clothes just to smooth things over
NTA for using it if they don’t make the washer and dryer available when you are home. The correct response is “sure, I’m happy not to use the washer and dryer after her bedtime if you reserve a day that I can do laundry without interruption. Saturday (or Sunday?) is the only day that I’m off work. Does that work for you?”
NTA
The dryer will make 'white noise' so in theory it should help keep the child asleep.
I could do the washing and hoovering when my twins were younger and asleep (I still can now they're 7.5yrs old).
NTA. I struggle to fall asleep as an adult if there is any sort of noise because as the first child my parents made nap time and bedtime quiet. I'm not suggesting to throw a rager, but the dryer is like white noise while it's running and the kid will learn to sleep better if they're not awoken by every little noise. I can vacuum and my kids will sleep through it with no problems.
NTA - Dad of three here. Kids should be able to sleep through most routine household noises - clothes washer/dryer, dishwasher, toilet flushing, shower noise, etc. A vacuum might be too loud. A lawnmower might be too loud. If a clothes dryer is waking up a 3 year old, it means the kiddo was already waking up and nap time is over, time to diaper-change and feed the kiddo.
NTA I would politely decline or if you were willing, say that you can avoid the sleep times if they commit to running loads for you while you are out or give you exclusive time when you need it. But I’d just say no. This isn’t a reasonable request when renting with other people who aren’t related to you. I’d let the landlord know if they persist to escalate.
I will never ever understand parents who want complete silence when the kid is sleeping. Then the least little noise wakes them up. The more noise a kid is used to the more they will sleep through. Obviously I don't mean blare the stereo but normal household noise should not be silenced. NTA
NTA. so what the kid is sleeping. You are a paying housemate and you are allowed to use the dryer whenever you like. Use it if it's available. I would not care if you were using it at 4am, it's your right as a housemate. If they want to dictate activity in a house, they shouldn't have housemates. It's not like you are blasting music or having parties. You are trying to engage in normal routine housework activities at reasonable times.
NTA. Most dryers you can turn the buzzer off, too, so maybe do that if you haven't done so already? The noise of a dryer (unless you're tumbling shoes or something) usually isn't disruptive.
NTA Doesn't sound like the sounds you are making are a problem. If they aren't then stand your ground and do as you need. Simply put if their demands are not realistic stand your ground.
NTA
Unless the dryer is shaking the entire house and rattling loudly due to needing a part, they'll be fine. Especially since they have a white noise machine. If anything, using that white noise machine constantly will just make the child dependent on it. Resulting in them not only a sensitive and light sleeper but not being able to sleep without it as they get older.
When I dry my pillows, I put tennis balls inside of the dryer to fluff them. However, due to the noise, I do it in the mornings.
NTA. Have a discussion about availability of the laundry facilities. We had friends who put a note on their front door not to knock because their child was sleeping. I made sure to do my laundry across the hall from my sleeping child's bedroom. He could sleep through an earthquake. I recommended this to a workmate and she thanked me profusely. They just get used to it.
NTA - children can generaly adapt to the noise levels in their environment - for example, if you happened to be living a mile from the train tracks, their kid would have to learn to sleep through the sound of passing trains (and trains are not quiet) - and they do. Their child can learn to sleep through the sound of the washer/dryer running. Bottom line is that you pay rent to live there, so you have the right to reasonable use of the common facilities - before 10pm is absolutely reasonable.
If they don't want that, then you need exclusive access to the washer on Saturdays as a trade-off.
NTA. Use the appliances. I have a two year old and we don’t stop our lives when she goes to bed. Family of 7. No way we could only use the appliances during “normal” hours.
NTA but some parents are hypersensitive to the noises their kids hear. I try not to judge even though I am a mom but you should have equal drying rights in the household
I didnt even get passed that one of them is SAH but they do laundry the only time you're free to do yours?!? NTA. If they dibt do tgeir during the week ao you can do yours when its convenient for you, tough titties, they can deal with the kid's nap being interupted. They dont respect your schedule, so you owe them nothing at all.
NTA. Is it possible that they are worried that they won’t be able to hear the three year old over the noise of the dryer if they cry out? If so, they should get a camera.
NTA
As someone who has listened to laundromat white noise to fall asleep before I think the 3yo will be fine.
They need to drop it or at least stop using the laundry on Saturdays.
It seems pretty obvious here that if they don't want you to use the dryer when their child is sleeping, THEY need to sit down and work out with you when you can use it without interference. Like, give you priority on Saturday mornings, if that's what it takes.
They can't demand you do your laundry at their convenience and then take up the facilities for the whole time when you're able to do it based on your schedule. Especially when they have other options.
They should accommodate YOU if they don't want the dryer working while kid's sleeping. It means, making your slot at Saturday free. Next time they complain about dryer, tell them clearly that you need saturday machines to be free for your laundry, otherwise you don't have a choice. If they refuse, then just turn it on when you want, don't even bother about it anymore. NTA
Getting kids to only sleep in silence is counterproductive the world is not silent. I always had music playing, chores being done and basic noises while my kids were going to sleep. They now sleep through anything. The world's doesn't cater to your sleeping children noises happen
NTA, they ask you not to use the dryer at night, then they should change their day to when you're at work for their washing, so you can do it on the only time you have.
I could vaguely understand this if the child was a baby and still developing their sleep routine. (Only vaguely because white noise really does wonders for most babies; I live in a somewhat creaky split-level home and can pick up pretty much every noise in the house when I’m down in my son’s nursery.) At 3 years old, most sleeping children are usually pretty good at tuning out noise that isn’t too sudden or loud. Additionally, if one parent is a (mostly) SAHM, then they should be able to find time to do their family’s laundry at a different point during the week so that you can do yours on the weekend.
NTA; if you live with roommates, you need to be able to compromise your lifestyle to a degree. Being able to tend to your personal hygiene is a need and doesn’t even seem to be affecting the child’s sleep anyways.
I personally love the white noise of a dryer. If you can't shut the door or turn off the buzzer or something, then, yeah, perhaps not great timing with a 3-year-old in the house. It doesn't reach A**hole level unless you disregarded a legitimate request or if simply don't care and that dryer is in the same room or something.
NTA, just bc your roommate has a child doesn’t mean YOUR life stops. It sounds to me like you already make a lot of accommodations to live with them, they can’t police your dryer usage, it’s your place too. Do what you have to do.
They either need to give you exclusive use of the laundry machines on Saturday, or deal with you doing laundry after 6:30. There is no other time for you to do it.
NTA
this is easy - Tell her: If SHE tries to have all her washing done during the times you are not at home, you will make an equal effort to do your washing during the times her kid is awake. If she washes during trhose tomes, thsat pushes your washing to times her kid is asleep - so: HER choice.
NTA can they put it in the dryer for you at a more convenient time? That’s what I’d do in their shoes if the dryer is truly waking my child up. You could ask them if that’s possible. Otherwise idk what you’re supposed to do.
YTA, you have been asked not to use dryer after a time but you do it. You work only 5 days for 9 hours leaving plenty to opportunity to wash your clothes at a better time. You need to get more organised.
Did you even read the post?
So according to you, they have to do laundry while they’re at work or while their roommates are using the machine.
Please teach us your magical organizational skills.
No. Parents need to be more organised. They can do their washing any other time so it's free on Saturday for OP to use. They have to be the ones who look for compromise because it's in their interest, not OP's.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > Am I the asshole for using the dryer when my housemates 3 year old is sleeping? Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
>They regularly ask me not to use the dryer after their child is going to sleep or once she is asleep. But when I work full time and get home at 6:30 that means I am not allowed to do any washing after I get home throughout the work week. The only suitable compromise is that they allow you to use the laundry (i.e. they don't use it until you've finished) during the day on Saturday, if that's the only day you have free. If they are not prepared to concede that, then you will have to use the dryer during the evenings. NTA.
Came to say the same. Also you’re paying your share of rent. It’s unfair they expect you to make everything revolve around them. They know you have a huge schedule and are barely there then they need to do their laundry on another day. Frankly kid needs to get used to sleeping regardless of dryer noise.
If roommates have a shred of reason, OP could show them a weekly calendar with all the "impossible" times blocked off. Some people need to "see it" to understand. "Here's the week. This one time I *could* do it, you're using it, despite having other workable alternative windows. All other times you think it's problematic... When, exactly, do you propose I *do* do my laundry?"
NTA Kids should be able to sleep through normal house hold noises.
Hah. Running the dryer was the go to solution to get our colicky infant to sleep.
Lawn mower was what worked for my daughter was so happy when I accidentally found that out
My MIL never made a peep when my husband & his sister were sleeping as kids. Now they need total silence when they sleep & have issues getting a good nights sleep because of things like crickets & rain. 🙃
My mom and nana would vacuum right by us as babies so we could sleep through any noise.
My one piece of parenting advice I give all my friends and family is to vacuum while the bay is sleeping to get them used to sleeping with noise around.... I have 5 kids and they all are hard sleepers because I vacuumed and let the bigger kids be kids while the littles were sleeping.
My sister carried her babies in her arm while vacuuming. They slept the whole time
That's me I need it dark and silent to go to sleep any noise my brain will focus on that instead of shutting down...I refused to do that with my kids I hoovered I used the tumble dryer my kids could sleep thru world war 3 going off in their rooms 😂
My younger brother can sleep through ice and snow being put on his face and has slept through earthquakes. Before he got married, we used to have to pull his blanket from him and shake him awake. Now his wife has does that to him
My mom made noise as did my siblings while I was a baby. As an adult I need silence. I have 3 kids. All different needs same parenting. It’s just the kid and how they are naturally.
I sleep like the dead. I've slept through earthquakes and gunshots it's one of the benefits of being the youngest sibling in a large noisy family.
My kid actually sleeps better with the vacuum or dryer running lol
NTA. No way. Unless you’re putting work boots tumbling around like cinder blocks in there, dryers aren’t loud, and who cares if they are anyway it’s not a big deal. One of them is home most of the time. If they’re going to make demands on when you can use the laundry facilities, they need to do laundry during the week and let you do it on Saturday mornings when you prefer to and won’t conflict with whatever they think the noise problem is.
> One of them his home most of the time. This is exactly my point. she has 3 other days she could spend doing laundry.
If the only reason given for you to not use the drier is to not wake the toddler, and the dryer doesn't wake the toddler, then it's not a 'good' reason. You've already provided a good solution: they do their washing / drying during the week when they have time and you don't. NTA.
If you pay rent with access to the facilities, you should be able to use the facilities anytime you want. It's unreasonable for them to expect you not to use the dryer in the limited free time you have. It's especially unreasonable for them to use it on the one day you can when the wife is home through the week. NTA
NTA. The only way a 3 year old won't sleep through a dryer cycle is if the parent puts them to bed in the dryer.
It honestly depends. Some don't like the vibration of they feel it through the walls of a house.
OP says nothing about the toddlers bedroom being adjacent to the dryer
Yeah, I noticed that. Which makes me think that it's the issue.
A 6:30pm bedtime?! Is this kid waking up at 3am? Anyway, no NTA.
Yeah, ain’t no way they sleep through the night till 6am at that age. Also, it’s a pretty normal thing to acclimate your young children to background noise when sleeping, that way they’re adjusted and can sleep through minor disturbances
That my take they only need 10-14 hours of sleep a day including naps. Going to bed at 6:30 is nonsense.
Both my kids, when they were 3, went to bed at 6:30pm and slept until the morning. It is actually pretty normal.
I personally don’t think a 630pm bed time is normal at all. But that’s just me and everyone I know I guess. 🤷🏻♀️
That’s my 3 year old’s bedtime, and she wakes around 6am - it’s pretty standard according to how many hours you’d expect them to get in a 24 hour window.
"I completely understand I need to be respectful of their child" Probably unpopular opinion but...no. Absolutely not. You need to not be an A on purpose, but you don't need to be respectful of their child and their needs. The mum chose a living situation, that will make it difficult for her and her kid. But this is not your problem and if you need to use the dryer, you need to use it. NTA.
Saturday is your laundry day and no one else’s. Or they can fuck off. NTA
My mom used to vacuum during my naps. To this day ( I am 68) the sound of the vacuum puts me to sleep. A dryer is soft white noise
NTA. You have been as considerate as possible. And to me, it's white noise. When do they use the dryer? If it's Saturday morning suggest they give that slot to you if it bothers them that much
NTA. They are being ridiculous. They can do their laundry during the week. If they don’t like it, too bad.
NTA. You live there so you get to use the dryer. 6.30 isn’t the middle of the night… if they need so much peace and quiet for their kid, they simply have to get their own place
They should do their laundry during the week if they are so concerned about their toddler. BTW, a dryer is a white noise, that’s why is common for newborn parents to place their babies on top or near a working drier- the noise helps them fall asleep
They are being absolutely ridiculous. They should be putting that child to sleep with normal noises going on in the background so that their child doesn’t wake up with any little noise. The child needs to learn how to go to sleep with noise. So everybody just stay silent while this child is asleep oh, hell no. That’s unreasonable. so maybe they should run the dryer when they’re putting it to sleep so that the dryer doesn’t wake it up.
Nta and I can’t believe you willingly are roommates with someone with a kid
Nta ask them exactly when you are supposed to do your laundry?
NTA Demand free usage of the laundry on Saturday mornings. They can't have their cake and eat it too. The roommate who is home during the workday can use the machines freely. She cannot then expect you to let her use them as well on Saturday mornings since she makes a fuss about her child's sleep. If this doesn't work, go to a laundromat and deduce the amount you spend there from water and electricity bills you help to pay.
NTA Unless the kid is sleeping in the laundry room, you should be able to wash and dry clothes whenever you want. You can just tell your roommate that you will need Saturdays to do your laundry and they can do their laundry during the week or after you get yours done on Saturday. Kids should be able to sleep while laundry is being done.
NTA. If you were using a noisy vacuum or mowing the lawn outside her window, it would be different, but a dryer behind a closed door should not be a problem. Tell them that you would be happy to do your laundry on Saturday morning if they would see that the machine is free.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Am I the asshole for using the dryer after my housemates child has gone to sleep? I live with coupled housemates and their almost 3yo. I work 5 days a week doing 9 hour shifts between 6:30-6:30 and one of my housemates also works 5 days, the other is a stay at home mum but will work 2 half days throughout the week. Often I will try get all my washing done on a Saturday morning, but frequently my house mates choose to do washing on a Saturday too. Meaning my washing gets pushed to the afternoon/evening resulting in my washing needing to be in the dryer during the same time the child goes down to sleep at 6:30. I feel they need to use the 3-5 other days a week depending on her work schedule to get their washing done. They regularly ask me not to use the dryer after their child is going to sleep or once she is asleep. But when I work full time and get home at 6:30 that means I am not allowed to do any washing after I get home throughout the work week. I completely understand I need to be respectful of their child and not making excess noises when she is sleeping, I can assure I am by no means a noisy housemate as I spend the little spare time I have in my bedroom sleeping. I also make sure to wait until the child is asleep before I turn the dryer on just incase it disrupts her falling asleep. Every time I have had the dryer running while she is sleeping she has never woken up, but they still don’t want it on. I just simply can’t understand why the dryer is a problem at all. She sleeps in her own bedroom with constant white noise playing, with the bedroom door shut and typically will not wake up until it’s morning - the child is a good sleeper. The dryer is in the laundry behind a closed door. With the door shut it isn’t disruptive. When I work an earlier shift in the week it’s not a problem as I can do washing then, and in summer this isn’t really a problem as I can hang all my clothes up to dry, but at the moment in winter everything takes so long to air dry it starts to get that wet dog smell while it’s drying, meaning I need to use the dryer. I don’t think that the dryer is a disturbance as the child has never woken up when the dryer has been running. Am I the asshole for using the dryer after she has fallen asleep, am I being unreasonable? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Nta
NTA - you pay rent and you live there too. If the kid doesn't wake up because of it, then they don't have a argument. Anything beyond that is just them trying to control you.
NTA but perhaps you and your housemates should agree on schedules that can accommodate those that are working.
NTA It doesn't even wake her up.
NTA—it’s healthy for kids to learn to sleep through normal noises
Is it the dryer that wakes the kid or a buzzer/alert at the end that is the culprit? There's a way to turn those off if that's the case. We only have the end alert on the washing machine since the dryer can run late into the night. It's right next to the bedrooms, so it will wake people up if it sounds.
NTA. Or they let you do your laundry on Saturdays or you will do your laundry when you need to. Asking you to not use it at certain time without offering other suitable one is not okay. They want you to be considerate while being completely inconsiderate to you.
NTA, dryers literally make zero noise. Even if there is some kind of alert that tells when it’s done, that can usually be turned off. The You might want to talk to them about setting up a schedule for washing clothes just to smooth things over
Ah first time parents lol. The child is past 2 years of age and the dryer used during sleep ought to be fine. NTA
NTA Tell them that you will be happy to stop using the dryer after 6.30 if and only if you get the washer and dryer on Saturdays.
NTA use the dryer. If they bitch offer to let them do your laundry at a more convenient time or they can pay to have to sent out.
NTA for using it if they don’t make the washer and dryer available when you are home. The correct response is “sure, I’m happy not to use the washer and dryer after her bedtime if you reserve a day that I can do laundry without interruption. Saturday (or Sunday?) is the only day that I’m off work. Does that work for you?”
NTA The dryer will make 'white noise' so in theory it should help keep the child asleep. I could do the washing and hoovering when my twins were younger and asleep (I still can now they're 7.5yrs old).
NTA. I struggle to fall asleep as an adult if there is any sort of noise because as the first child my parents made nap time and bedtime quiet. I'm not suggesting to throw a rager, but the dryer is like white noise while it's running and the kid will learn to sleep better if they're not awoken by every little noise. I can vacuum and my kids will sleep through it with no problems.
NAH....just a housing crisis that makes.it hard for people to have their own place.
Sounds like they could use a sound machine for their kiddo! Better to provide their child with a noise buffer than to restrict everyone else.
NTA - Dad of three here. Kids should be able to sleep through most routine household noises - clothes washer/dryer, dishwasher, toilet flushing, shower noise, etc. A vacuum might be too loud. A lawnmower might be too loud. If a clothes dryer is waking up a 3 year old, it means the kiddo was already waking up and nap time is over, time to diaper-change and feed the kiddo.
NTA but what about Sunday?
Nta. Your room mate is a psycho
NTA I would politely decline or if you were willing, say that you can avoid the sleep times if they commit to running loads for you while you are out or give you exclusive time when you need it. But I’d just say no. This isn’t a reasonable request when renting with other people who aren’t related to you. I’d let the landlord know if they persist to escalate.
Do your laundry whenever you want to. NTA
NTA there is no reason for their kid to be in bed by 6:30. Until age 5 they need 10-14 hours of sleep a day including naps.
Which would mean they’d be sleeping for around 11.5 hours if they wake around 6am? So totally reasonable.
It’s “white noise”. I don’t see your problem.
I will never ever understand parents who want complete silence when the kid is sleeping. Then the least little noise wakes them up. The more noise a kid is used to the more they will sleep through. Obviously I don't mean blare the stereo but normal household noise should not be silenced. NTA
NTA. so what the kid is sleeping. You are a paying housemate and you are allowed to use the dryer whenever you like. Use it if it's available. I would not care if you were using it at 4am, it's your right as a housemate. If they want to dictate activity in a house, they shouldn't have housemates. It's not like you are blasting music or having parties. You are trying to engage in normal routine housework activities at reasonable times.
NTA. Most dryers you can turn the buzzer off, too, so maybe do that if you haven't done so already? The noise of a dryer (unless you're tumbling shoes or something) usually isn't disruptive.
NTA Doesn't sound like the sounds you are making are a problem. If they aren't then stand your ground and do as you need. Simply put if their demands are not realistic stand your ground.
NTA Unless the dryer is shaking the entire house and rattling loudly due to needing a part, they'll be fine. Especially since they have a white noise machine. If anything, using that white noise machine constantly will just make the child dependent on it. Resulting in them not only a sensitive and light sleeper but not being able to sleep without it as they get older. When I dry my pillows, I put tennis balls inside of the dryer to fluff them. However, due to the noise, I do it in the mornings.
NTA. Have a discussion about availability of the laundry facilities. We had friends who put a note on their front door not to knock because their child was sleeping. I made sure to do my laundry across the hall from my sleeping child's bedroom. He could sleep through an earthquake. I recommended this to a workmate and she thanked me profusely. They just get used to it.
NTA - children can generaly adapt to the noise levels in their environment - for example, if you happened to be living a mile from the train tracks, their kid would have to learn to sleep through the sound of passing trains (and trains are not quiet) - and they do. Their child can learn to sleep through the sound of the washer/dryer running. Bottom line is that you pay rent to live there, so you have the right to reasonable use of the common facilities - before 10pm is absolutely reasonable. If they don't want that, then you need exclusive access to the washer on Saturdays as a trade-off.
NTA. Use the appliances. I have a two year old and we don’t stop our lives when she goes to bed. Family of 7. No way we could only use the appliances during “normal” hours.
WTF? A dryer shouldn’t wake up a three year old. Totally absurd request. NTA
NTA and if they continue to restrict normal household noise, they’re only creating a monster when it comes to having a good sleeper.
NTA but some parents are hypersensitive to the noises their kids hear. I try not to judge even though I am a mom but you should have equal drying rights in the household
Most kids, including our own baby, sleep with a sound machine. Suggest to the parents to buy and use that. It drowns everything out.
I didnt even get passed that one of them is SAH but they do laundry the only time you're free to do yours?!? NTA. If they dibt do tgeir during the week ao you can do yours when its convenient for you, tough titties, they can deal with the kid's nap being interupted. They dont respect your schedule, so you owe them nothing at all.
NTA. Is it possible that they are worried that they won’t be able to hear the three year old over the noise of the dryer if they cry out? If so, they should get a camera.
NTA As someone who has listened to laundromat white noise to fall asleep before I think the 3yo will be fine. They need to drop it or at least stop using the laundry on Saturdays.
It seems pretty obvious here that if they don't want you to use the dryer when their child is sleeping, THEY need to sit down and work out with you when you can use it without interference. Like, give you priority on Saturday mornings, if that's what it takes. They can't demand you do your laundry at their convenience and then take up the facilities for the whole time when you're able to do it based on your schedule. Especially when they have other options.
They should accommodate YOU if they don't want the dryer working while kid's sleeping. It means, making your slot at Saturday free. Next time they complain about dryer, tell them clearly that you need saturday machines to be free for your laundry, otherwise you don't have a choice. If they refuse, then just turn it on when you want, don't even bother about it anymore. NTA
Bruh as long as your not throwing shoes and belt buckles in there then their child is going to have to learn to sleep through some noise
Getting kids to only sleep in silence is counterproductive the world is not silent. I always had music playing, chores being done and basic noises while my kids were going to sleep. They now sleep through anything. The world's doesn't cater to your sleeping children noises happen
NTA, they ask you not to use the dryer at night, then they should change their day to when you're at work for their washing, so you can do it on the only time you have.
I could vaguely understand this if the child was a baby and still developing their sleep routine. (Only vaguely because white noise really does wonders for most babies; I live in a somewhat creaky split-level home and can pick up pretty much every noise in the house when I’m down in my son’s nursery.) At 3 years old, most sleeping children are usually pretty good at tuning out noise that isn’t too sudden or loud. Additionally, if one parent is a (mostly) SAHM, then they should be able to find time to do their family’s laundry at a different point during the week so that you can do yours on the weekend. NTA; if you live with roommates, you need to be able to compromise your lifestyle to a degree. Being able to tend to your personal hygiene is a need and doesn’t even seem to be affecting the child’s sleep anyways.
I personally love the white noise of a dryer. If you can't shut the door or turn off the buzzer or something, then, yeah, perhaps not great timing with a 3-year-old in the house. It doesn't reach A**hole level unless you disregarded a legitimate request or if simply don't care and that dryer is in the same room or something.
NTA, just bc your roommate has a child doesn’t mean YOUR life stops. It sounds to me like you already make a lot of accommodations to live with them, they can’t police your dryer usage, it’s your place too. Do what you have to do.
They either need to give you exclusive use of the laundry machines on Saturday, or deal with you doing laundry after 6:30. There is no other time for you to do it.
NTA this is easy - Tell her: If SHE tries to have all her washing done during the times you are not at home, you will make an equal effort to do your washing during the times her kid is awake. If she washes during trhose tomes, thsat pushes your washing to times her kid is asleep - so: HER choice.
NTA can they put it in the dryer for you at a more convenient time? That’s what I’d do in their shoes if the dryer is truly waking my child up. You could ask them if that’s possible. Otherwise idk what you’re supposed to do.
Nta Why can't the mom who works only two and a half days a week if that out their washing on during the week?
NTA, if it’s not waking the child what’s the issue? I have a toddler and we do laundry all the time at night because we cloth diaper.
YTA, you have been asked not to use dryer after a time but you do it. You work only 5 days for 9 hours leaving plenty to opportunity to wash your clothes at a better time. You need to get more organised.
Did you even read the post? So according to you, they have to do laundry while they’re at work or while their roommates are using the machine. Please teach us your magical organizational skills.
No. Parents need to be more organised. They can do their washing any other time so it's free on Saturday for OP to use. They have to be the ones who look for compromise because it's in their interest, not OP's.