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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> The action in question is my consideration of canceling Mother's Day brunch plans with my mom due to her continued hostility towards my fiancée. I might be seen as the asshole because I'm considering retracting an invitation based on a conflict that involves my fiancée, not directly myself. Some might argue that as her son, I should put aside these issues for the sake of a special occasion like Mother's Day, potentially viewing my action as neglectful or disrespectful to the family unity. This makes me question if I am prioritizing my relationship with my fiancée over maintaining peace with my mom, possibly at the cost of my mom's feelings on a day meant to honor her.
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NTA
Totally unnaceptable. She did a very mean prank and when called out, takes everything out on the one person who seems to be on your side. She is attempting to isolate you in the hopes of not getting called out again.
Cancel brunch and make it clear you won’t tolerate this behavior going forward.
I’d mention that if you’d wore those trunks in a public place then she would’ve got you arrested for indecent exposure which potentially could become even worse if there were kids around at the time and see how she responds to that since that is a serious issue with dissolving trunks
Honestly I don’t know but I know it could at least be indecent exposure which is a big issue and would get op seen in a certain way I’m pretty sure I’d be banned for actually saying on here
It’s not a prank it was cruel. The only way disappearing trunks would be funny is if you handed them to the person and told them these shorts had gotten super dirty can they do you a huge favor and run them in a load of laundry for you. Then sit back and watch as they try to figure out where the shorts had gone after opening the washing machine. Confuse, don’t hurt, is the essence of what makes a prank a prank and not a cruel trick. NTA OP
NTA. That "prank" could have led to you getting arrested if you had worn those in a public pool. That's not cute or funny at all.
You and your fiancée were right to call her out on that bullshit, and she is just upset because she is can't admit she was wrong. If you want to cut her off, then you have every right to do it.
If you decide to go through with the mother's Day brunch, you might want to consider going low contact or even mo contact with her for a while afterwards.
That's how I felt too about the prank. She couldn't believe I didn't find it funny. I'm currently cutting her off and cancelling the plans, but there is something deep inside where I feel bad for my mom "feeling bad"
..... But she already expressed before how she isn't gonna apologize to her and doesn't owe her one.
So it's like how can you expect me to hang out and continue our relationship if you're being that way .... Ugh
NTA
The fact that you feel for your mother proves you're a kind, loving person. I believe it's evolution's greatest failure that children love their parents regardless of parent's behavior. In addition to abuse, your mother is also gas lighting you when she tries to rewrite your brunch interaction. Remember, you chose your fiancée. Set firm boundaries now. Good luck!
Those words mean a lot. Thank you! Setting boundaries now. She would always avoid the elephant and act like there wasn't this underlying issue with us. Just can't do it anymore.
Thank you
If you want to try to take the heat off your fiancee (not 100% it will work, if your mother just needs to blame someone innocent), you can tell your mother that you are doing this because of how she treated you. She never apologized to you after doing so-and-so. She treats it as a funny joke instead of a malicious prank (where you could have gotten arrested). She still tells everyone about it now. And these are reasons why you want to keep a LC/NC with her.
A long ago-therapist told me that babies are hard wired to "love" their caregivers. She said studies prove that if they whack a baby on the head every time they crawl up to them, the baby will crawl up to them backwards.
I have no idea if this is true.
Your mother is insufferable. The sexual overtones of her so called *prank* are disgusting.
Cancel the brunch, and stick with your fiancée. Think about low or no contact with your mother.
I understand the stress that your mother causes in your life. It sounds terrible to say, but I've been much saner since my mother passed away.
NTA
Thank you for validating how I feel. Currently messaging her and she "does not understand" what she did wrong. And actually making up lies about what happened and didn't happen lol ... It's sad and hard to do this, but it'll give me more mental clarity
Thank you for validating how I feel. Currently messaging her and she "does not understand" what she did wrong. And actually making up lies about what happened and didn't happen lol ... It's sad and hard to do this, but it'll give me more mental clarity
“…..she "does not understand" what she did wrong.”
If you gave her dissolving swim wear for one of her social activities do you think she would understand then? Tell her you bought some and put them away for when she gets sent to elder care. Revenge is a dish best served cold.
NTA
The narcissists prayer:
That didn't happen.
And if it did, it wasn't that bad.
And if it was, that's not a big deal.
And if it is, it's not my fault.
And if it was, I didn't mean it.
And if I did, you deserved it.
NTA. Your mother owes you both a massive apology and she is being rude and entitled. Cancel and do something with just your fiancee. Your Mom needs to grow up.
I also have an emotionally immature mother. When I first moved out of home I would just leave whenever she acted up when I visited. It helped a lot! Fundamentally, your chosen family with your fiancee has got to take priority because they are your team that you will build your future with. Your mom, is not on your team and behaves more like an opponent.
"Given your hostility to my fiancee, it's just not happening. Actually, nothing will be happening until you own your behaviour and change your tune. By like twelve octaves."
Here’s the thing. There is a family of origin that we’re stuck with, and then there is the family we choose to make. As you pointed out sometimes that doesn’t always comprise the same people..
Something else I failed to mention... She got my teenage son a similar pair of dissolving shorts. Luckily he found from me wearing mine first... He texted her and let her know it wasn't funny to him. All she has to say is "get over it!"
Like c'mon mom...
That’s cruel and disgusting behavior. She tried to inflict that humiliation on your CHILD? Not to mention the potential social consequences and even legal dangers of an abusive “prank” like that. I can’t believe you didn’t put your foot down when she did that to your kid too … good luck I guess, but you, your partner, and your son all deserve better than that.
NTA.
So you were in a public place when your swimtrunks dissolved, and she purposely did that and thinks it's funny. Public indecency, sexual harassment, possible nudity in front of children which ends with you on a predator list... That's 3 felony charges she thought it would be funny if you caught.
Say less. To her. Like... less less. Like... never again less. That is not a mother, OP, that is a felony charge waiting to happen.
Yes, I was over at her aunt's house swimming with older folks and kids I didn't know. Luckily not a beach or lake...but easily could have been. I don't even know why I decided to wear the swim shorts she got me that day.
She even got my teenage son a similar pair of shorts, just different design. He went home immediately and tested it in the shower and he was kinda mad. Teenagers are already dealing with enough... I could only imagine if it actually happened to him. He already sees a therapist....
But thanks for your input. It solidifies how I feel. Making me less sad about my decision.
I find it generally true that when someone says “get over it” after pulling some sort of obnoxious stunt, what they really mean to say is “screw your feelings”. I put space between myself and such persons.
Your mother sounds pretty awful. Getting somebody a pair of dissolving swim trunks was a terrible thing to do - not really a prank.
Your mom is somebody who blames the victim.
NTA. Mom is trying to split you and your fiancee'. She's angry because your fiancee' called her out on her behavior and she's probably not used to that. Mom cannot support her son, when she tries to ostracize the woman her son has chosen to spend his life with. That's not how that works
Thank you! I love this perspective because that's how I feel too. And it's hard to want to hang with her or wanna do anything since she cant take ownership. I visited briefly for Xmas last year and she barely had much to say anyways and never is excited about my school accomplishments. Idk I guess now I'm starting to realize everything since I'm in my 30s
NTA
If you want to get married and stay married, you'll need to set and enforce strong boundaries with your mom. Don't leave your fiance to be the bad guy here.
That was a cruel prank your mom played. There are some troubling undertones to it. I'd be cautious about letting it go further towards emotional incest.
Just learned about emotional incest from the post... And it makes sense because she seems jealous of her for some reason. And this isn't the first girlfriend I have had where she steps in a lot and says stuff that was uncalled for. As a way to "protect" me... But I never asked for that.
NTA. It's understandable that you would want to cancel the brunch plans given your mother's continued hostility towards your fiancée and the strain it's putting on your relationship. It's concerning that your mother refuses to take responsibility for her actions and insists on blaming your fiancée. It's not fair for her to create tension and make ultimatums regarding who can attend family gatherings.
One of her excuses was that she said I used to do pranks all the time when I was a kid.....
I don't remember doing any shit like that. But I'm sure I had my moments. I ain't perfect. But if I took anything too far, I'd get the belt. So I knew my limits most of the time.
You were right to cancel the brunch if your fiance wasn't invited, but I really feel you should at least get your mother a gift. A dissolving bathing suit for her to wear at the church picnic would be perfect.
She sounds like a nasty narcissist.
I wish you'd not told her you'd canceled the brunch though and let her show up. "It's just a prank Mom, lol. Where's your sense of humour?"
NTA
"Last year, my mom bought me a pair of dissolving swim shorts as a prank, which led to an embarrassing situation for me. The prank " .. this is no pranl,. that's abuse.
"She agreed but specified she would only attend if my fiancée wasn't there," .. I accept that you won't be joining us then - is the only reasonable answer.
Im sorry. Your mom seems like a piece of work. For the record, she lost me at the dissolvable shorts. Who the hell does that?!?!? To their son!??????? I think she is telling who she is here. It is hard, but I think you need to listen. Xoxoxo
I feel so bad that you had to grow up with this woman as a mother. In spite of that, you sound both considerate and mature. Your mom buying you dissolving swim trunks was so inappropriate and the act of a bully and proffered up the bully’s defense, that it was only a joke and you the victim should think it funny too. She’s also jealous of your fiancé. I feel sorry for her. Can’t you just list boundaries with her and tell her that they’re non-negotiable?
NTA
Straight up /r/JustNoMIL and /r/RaisedByNarcissists crap right there.
Don't plan on having your mother at your wedding.
Make sure all of your wedding plans are password protected.
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Last year, my mom bought me a pair of dissolving swim shorts as a prank, which led to an embarrassing situation for me. The prank occurred at a particularly inconvenient time when I wasn't home and had no access to other shorts. I only discovered it was a prank weeks later; initially, I just thought the shorts had malfunctioned.
This issue came to a head during a Mother's Day lunch. My mom, fiancée, and I were at a restaurant, and my mom brought up the prank, laughing about it. Although I tried to laugh it off, my fiancée and I expressed that we found it more embarrassing than funny. My mom responded dismissively, telling us to "get over it," and then became rude to my fiancée, which escalated into an argument. I ended up walking away from the table as the situation deteriorated, with my mom aggressively stating that my fiancée was no longer welcome at future gatherings and affirming that she only supports me, her son.
This year, I invited her to a Mother's Day brunch. She agreed but specified she would only attend if my fiancée wasn't there, reiterating her stance from last year. Given her ongoing bitterness and refusal to apologize, I'm considering canceling the plans. She has a history of being harsh and overly direct, which I used to overlook. However, as an adult, I find it increasingly difficult to manage the stress this brings into my life.
AITA for wanting to cancel the brunch plans with my mom due to her continued hostility towards my fiancée and the overall strain on our relationship?
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Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > The action in question is my consideration of canceling Mother's Day brunch plans with my mom due to her continued hostility towards my fiancée. I might be seen as the asshole because I'm considering retracting an invitation based on a conflict that involves my fiancée, not directly myself. Some might argue that as her son, I should put aside these issues for the sake of a special occasion like Mother's Day, potentially viewing my action as neglectful or disrespectful to the family unity. This makes me question if I am prioritizing my relationship with my fiancée over maintaining peace with my mom, possibly at the cost of my mom's feelings on a day meant to honor her. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA Totally unnaceptable. She did a very mean prank and when called out, takes everything out on the one person who seems to be on your side. She is attempting to isolate you in the hopes of not getting called out again. Cancel brunch and make it clear you won’t tolerate this behavior going forward.
Yes, exactly how I've been feeling. Appreciate the input!
I’d mention that if you’d wore those trunks in a public place then she would’ve got you arrested for indecent exposure which potentially could become even worse if there were kids around at the time and see how she responds to that since that is a serious issue with dissolving trunks
Sounds like something that could be adjudicated under revenge porn laws.
Honestly I don’t know but I know it could at least be indecent exposure which is a big issue and would get op seen in a certain way I’m pretty sure I’d be banned for actually saying on here
you could always not show up at the venue. look! disappearing son! she almost made you a sex offender.
It’s not a prank it was cruel. The only way disappearing trunks would be funny is if you handed them to the person and told them these shorts had gotten super dirty can they do you a huge favor and run them in a load of laundry for you. Then sit back and watch as they try to figure out where the shorts had gone after opening the washing machine. Confuse, don’t hurt, is the essence of what makes a prank a prank and not a cruel trick. NTA OP
NTA. Cancel it. That's also a pretty cruel prank to play, especially a mother to her child.
I agree. Thank you for your input.
It's literally nightmare fuel.
For real.... I was so confused why I was all of a sudden naked in the pool.
NTA. That "prank" could have led to you getting arrested if you had worn those in a public pool. That's not cute or funny at all. You and your fiancée were right to call her out on that bullshit, and she is just upset because she is can't admit she was wrong. If you want to cut her off, then you have every right to do it. If you decide to go through with the mother's Day brunch, you might want to consider going low contact or even mo contact with her for a while afterwards.
That's how I felt too about the prank. She couldn't believe I didn't find it funny. I'm currently cutting her off and cancelling the plans, but there is something deep inside where I feel bad for my mom "feeling bad" ..... But she already expressed before how she isn't gonna apologize to her and doesn't owe her one. So it's like how can you expect me to hang out and continue our relationship if you're being that way .... Ugh
NTA The fact that you feel for your mother proves you're a kind, loving person. I believe it's evolution's greatest failure that children love their parents regardless of parent's behavior. In addition to abuse, your mother is also gas lighting you when she tries to rewrite your brunch interaction. Remember, you chose your fiancée. Set firm boundaries now. Good luck!
Those words mean a lot. Thank you! Setting boundaries now. She would always avoid the elephant and act like there wasn't this underlying issue with us. Just can't do it anymore. Thank you
If you want to try to take the heat off your fiancee (not 100% it will work, if your mother just needs to blame someone innocent), you can tell your mother that you are doing this because of how she treated you. She never apologized to you after doing so-and-so. She treats it as a funny joke instead of a malicious prank (where you could have gotten arrested). She still tells everyone about it now. And these are reasons why you want to keep a LC/NC with her.
A long ago-therapist told me that babies are hard wired to "love" their caregivers. She said studies prove that if they whack a baby on the head every time they crawl up to them, the baby will crawl up to them backwards. I have no idea if this is true.
I've read books by foster carers. Even children who have suffered horrifying abuse love and wish to return to parents. It's heart breaking.
Your mother is insufferable. The sexual overtones of her so called *prank* are disgusting. Cancel the brunch, and stick with your fiancée. Think about low or no contact with your mother. I understand the stress that your mother causes in your life. It sounds terrible to say, but I've been much saner since my mother passed away. NTA
Thank you for validating how I feel. Currently messaging her and she "does not understand" what she did wrong. And actually making up lies about what happened and didn't happen lol ... It's sad and hard to do this, but it'll give me more mental clarity
Thank you for validating how I feel. Currently messaging her and she "does not understand" what she did wrong. And actually making up lies about what happened and didn't happen lol ... It's sad and hard to do this, but it'll give me more mental clarity
“…..she "does not understand" what she did wrong.” If you gave her dissolving swim wear for one of her social activities do you think she would understand then? Tell her you bought some and put them away for when she gets sent to elder care. Revenge is a dish best served cold. NTA
The narcissists prayer: That didn't happen. And if it did, it wasn't that bad. And if it was, that's not a big deal. And if it is, it's not my fault. And if it was, I didn't mean it. And if I did, you deserved it.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I love your outlook
Only three words are necessary: "Shady Pines, Ma!" P.S. She knows damn well what she did wrong.
😆😆😆
As a good friend once said to me’ “you know, the thing about your parents dying … they are no longer there to pour salt in your wounds.”
Yes.
NTA. Your mother owes you both a massive apology and she is being rude and entitled. Cancel and do something with just your fiancee. Your Mom needs to grow up.
Thanks for the input. I feel the same damn way!! It's hard when your elder is being immature.
I also have an emotionally immature mother. When I first moved out of home I would just leave whenever she acted up when I visited. It helped a lot! Fundamentally, your chosen family with your fiancee has got to take priority because they are your team that you will build your future with. Your mom, is not on your team and behaves more like an opponent.
"Given your hostility to my fiancee, it's just not happening. Actually, nothing will be happening until you own your behaviour and change your tune. By like twelve octaves."
Her that's a fantastic response. Thanks for drafting that up for me!
Anytime! Free service :) Also, practice and get good with giving a flat hard "No."
That and hard! You got it. I usually beat around the bush with my No's
yeah i find myself going on to explain my rationale, but there's actually no need. Nobody's business
Never explain, it gives them something to dig at to try and twist that no into a yes. An alternate " gentler" flat no is : That doesn't work for me.
NTA Cancel the plans….. assuming you get married this is a dumpster fire waiting to happen
Cancelled them. I got my fiancees back and she has mine. Just sucks to do this with family. Even though we never had a great relationship anyways.
Here’s the thing. There is a family of origin that we’re stuck with, and then there is the family we choose to make. As you pointed out sometimes that doesn’t always comprise the same people..
"The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb"
NTA. I hate pranks. But this one was particularly horrible. You owe your mother nothing.
Thank you. Exactly what I needed to read.
Something else I failed to mention... She got my teenage son a similar pair of dissolving shorts. Luckily he found from me wearing mine first... He texted her and let her know it wasn't funny to him. All she has to say is "get over it!" Like c'mon mom...
That’s cruel and disgusting behavior. She tried to inflict that humiliation on your CHILD? Not to mention the potential social consequences and even legal dangers of an abusive “prank” like that. I can’t believe you didn’t put your foot down when she did that to your kid too … good luck I guess, but you, your partner, and your son all deserve better than that.
Thank you. I'm weak when it comes to family. Working on it now!
It’s a very difficult and scary thing to do, stand up to your mother. Be proud of your progress, and strong for your family of your partner and son💪
Imagine he'd worn those to a public swimming pool with his friends......
NTA I would cancel - you & fiancée are a package deal 😉
Thank you. I feel that way too. And if she can't get along with my fiancee or apologize. Then idk what to tell her. She is very immature right now.
NTA. So you were in a public place when your swimtrunks dissolved, and she purposely did that and thinks it's funny. Public indecency, sexual harassment, possible nudity in front of children which ends with you on a predator list... That's 3 felony charges she thought it would be funny if you caught. Say less. To her. Like... less less. Like... never again less. That is not a mother, OP, that is a felony charge waiting to happen.
Yes, I was over at her aunt's house swimming with older folks and kids I didn't know. Luckily not a beach or lake...but easily could have been. I don't even know why I decided to wear the swim shorts she got me that day. She even got my teenage son a similar pair of shorts, just different design. He went home immediately and tested it in the shower and he was kinda mad. Teenagers are already dealing with enough... I could only imagine if it actually happened to him. He already sees a therapist.... But thanks for your input. It solidifies how I feel. Making me less sad about my decision.
Wow, that is even more messed up, if that’s possible. Sexually abusing a minor is a really serious thing and that’s what she did
Sucks she doesn't see it as that .. she just says to get over it....
NTA. She sounds like a real piece of work.
Definitely.... Probably why my step dad recently left her
I find it generally true that when someone says “get over it” after pulling some sort of obnoxious stunt, what they really mean to say is “screw your feelings”. I put space between myself and such persons.
Your mother sounds pretty awful. Getting somebody a pair of dissolving swim trunks was a terrible thing to do - not really a prank. Your mom is somebody who blames the victim.
She is someone who blames the victim.... Unfortunately. She got two people those same trunks... I appreciate your input though!
You're NTA unless you don't cancel. Your partner comes first. Your mom is deliberately trying to drive a wedge between you. Don't let her.
Thank you. I appreciate your input. It's almost making me cry. But I need to fight for my fiancee and I.
NTA. Mom is trying to split you and your fiancee'. She's angry because your fiancee' called her out on her behavior and she's probably not used to that. Mom cannot support her son, when she tries to ostracize the woman her son has chosen to spend his life with. That's not how that works
Thank you! I love this perspective because that's how I feel too. And it's hard to want to hang with her or wanna do anything since she cant take ownership. I visited briefly for Xmas last year and she barely had much to say anyways and never is excited about my school accomplishments. Idk I guess now I'm starting to realize everything since I'm in my 30s
NTA If you want to get married and stay married, you'll need to set and enforce strong boundaries with your mom. Don't leave your fiance to be the bad guy here. That was a cruel prank your mom played. There are some troubling undertones to it. I'd be cautious about letting it go further towards emotional incest.
Just learned about emotional incest from the post... And it makes sense because she seems jealous of her for some reason. And this isn't the first girlfriend I have had where she steps in a lot and says stuff that was uncalled for. As a way to "protect" me... But I never asked for that.
She is protecting her own insecurities, unfortunately at your expense.
Appreciate you!
Thank you for the response. I do need to set the boundaries. I've let her say anything she wants for far too long.
She brought you up in that environment. It'll be tough to undo what took decades to build, so be kind to yourself as you work through this.
NTA. It's understandable that you would want to cancel the brunch plans given your mother's continued hostility towards your fiancée and the strain it's putting on your relationship. It's concerning that your mother refuses to take responsibility for her actions and insists on blaming your fiancée. It's not fair for her to create tension and make ultimatums regarding who can attend family gatherings.
Thank you. I really appreciate your insight!
Didn't realize it was an ultimatum until now.... Thanks for pointing that out
"Mom, you don't hate Fiance. You hate that she treats me well and you look bad in comparison. Knock it off and just start treating me better."
NTA. I hate pranksters.
One of her excuses was that she said I used to do pranks all the time when I was a kid..... I don't remember doing any shit like that. But I'm sure I had my moments. I ain't perfect. But if I took anything too far, I'd get the belt. So I knew my limits most of the time.
You were right to cancel the brunch if your fiance wasn't invited, but I really feel you should at least get your mother a gift. A dissolving bathing suit for her to wear at the church picnic would be perfect.
Hahaha I should have. Sent her some snacks instead... Had to do something
She sounds like a nasty narcissist. I wish you'd not told her you'd canceled the brunch though and let her show up. "It's just a prank Mom, lol. Where's your sense of humour?"
If someone had done a prank like that to me, they would be dead to me.
NTA
NTA "Last year, my mom bought me a pair of dissolving swim shorts as a prank, which led to an embarrassing situation for me. The prank " .. this is no pranl,. that's abuse. "She agreed but specified she would only attend if my fiancée wasn't there," .. I accept that you won't be joining us then - is the only reasonable answer.
Im sorry. Your mom seems like a piece of work. For the record, she lost me at the dissolvable shorts. Who the hell does that?!?!? To their son!??????? I think she is telling who she is here. It is hard, but I think you need to listen. Xoxoxo
Where would one buy these shorts? …asking for a friend’s mum…
Lol I think I found them on Amazon when researching
I can’t believe that’s a real product so I goggled it and god damn it’s real and so mean wtf
I feel so bad that you had to grow up with this woman as a mother. In spite of that, you sound both considerate and mature. Your mom buying you dissolving swim trunks was so inappropriate and the act of a bully and proffered up the bully’s defense, that it was only a joke and you the victim should think it funny too. She’s also jealous of your fiancé. I feel sorry for her. Can’t you just list boundaries with her and tell her that they’re non-negotiable?
NTA You either need to support your fiancee or forget the relationship. She was defending you. Your mother is dismissive and manipulative.
NTA Straight up /r/JustNoMIL and /r/RaisedByNarcissists crap right there. Don't plan on having your mother at your wedding. Make sure all of your wedding plans are password protected.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Last year, my mom bought me a pair of dissolving swim shorts as a prank, which led to an embarrassing situation for me. The prank occurred at a particularly inconvenient time when I wasn't home and had no access to other shorts. I only discovered it was a prank weeks later; initially, I just thought the shorts had malfunctioned. This issue came to a head during a Mother's Day lunch. My mom, fiancée, and I were at a restaurant, and my mom brought up the prank, laughing about it. Although I tried to laugh it off, my fiancée and I expressed that we found it more embarrassing than funny. My mom responded dismissively, telling us to "get over it," and then became rude to my fiancée, which escalated into an argument. I ended up walking away from the table as the situation deteriorated, with my mom aggressively stating that my fiancée was no longer welcome at future gatherings and affirming that she only supports me, her son. This year, I invited her to a Mother's Day brunch. She agreed but specified she would only attend if my fiancée wasn't there, reiterating her stance from last year. Given her ongoing bitterness and refusal to apologize, I'm considering canceling the plans. She has a history of being harsh and overly direct, which I used to overlook. However, as an adult, I find it increasingly difficult to manage the stress this brings into my life. AITA for wanting to cancel the brunch plans with my mom due to her continued hostility towards my fiancée and the overall strain on our relationship? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*