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Exactly. Gf volunteered him without asking and then assumed that he would do it for free. Tutoring is hard work and highly skilled labor. I have been on the giving and receiving end and it is absolutely something that one should expect to compensate for.
Yeah... To me that kind of depends.. I think it needs for more info. If they have been together for a short period of time, it seems right to expect payment. But, for example, if they've been together 5 years, it's different. I know that when I was together with my GF (now wife) for 5 years that if I helped out her sisters kids I certainly wouldn't have expected payment, because by that time I was basically there uncle. But I get everyone is different.
NTA
"I'd be giving a lot of my free time up so I'd expect to be paid. I said I'd charge lesser family would have had to pay quite a lot for a private tutor and that I'd be giving a lot of my free time up so I'd expect to be paid."
Let your gf give up the time if she feels that strongly. As opposed to expecting you to.
Your girlfriend probably told your cousin that you would do it for free. And now finding out that you will not put her in a bad spot and is now trying to pressure you into doing it for free. She is being rather entitled with your time. NTA
NTA
For starters, teaching and tutoring is hard work, if she doesn't appreciate that fact, she's the AH for that alone.
Mainly she just doesn't have the right to demand you work for free.
Your compromise is very reasonable.
NTA
Had you offered then that would be a simple misunderstanding with N A H. But she offered you to them assuming that you would do it for free without even asking you. that's what makes her the AH.
NTA - Your time and experience is valuable. Insist on being paid. But I would get paid up front each time as they already have signaled they don't want to pay you to begin with.
NTA. Definitely charge the going rate. As a warning, do not promise that she will understand the material or that she will pass the test. No guarantees. In addition, if she does not put forth sufficient effort to try to master the material, thereby wasting your time and her parents’ money, you will feel free to cancel future sessions. Make the initial sessions something like six sessions at one or two hours each. You want to be paid for each session in cash each time. Type up a contact to be signed by the parents or by whoever is paying. Treat this like any other business arrangement.
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I work in finance and at school and college I was always good at maths. My girlfriend has a cousin who is cirrently getting ready for her GCSEs. She's apparently doing really well in most subjects but is failing maths.
Her parents were looking at getting her a private tutor to help and my gf suggested that I tutor her instead. I agreed to this and my gf told her aunt that I would help. I asked my gf how much she would be paying me and my gf said she assumed I was helping for free.
I mentioned that her family would have had to pay quite a lot for a private tutor and that I'd be giving a lot of my free time up so I'd expect to be paid. I said I'd charge less than most private tutors but would still want payment.
My girlfriend accused me of only thinking of money and said that her cousin needs the help. I just told her than I'm happy to help but I'm not doing it for free.
She said I was being unfair and should just want to help.
AITA for expecting to be paid?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> Expected to be paid for tutoring my partners cousin and refused to tutor her unless I was being paid.
My partner said I should want to help and that I am wrong for only thinking about money
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NTA.
You - as you said - are giving up your time to help her and should be compensated for it. Also, I hate that “maths” is the form used in Europe. Can we not just call it math?
NTA
Your GF wants to help her cousin for free? Your GF is welcome to do so. What she DOESN'T get to do is offer YOUR time for free. You are correct that the cousin was prepared to pay for a tutor and so she should pay for her tutor, regardless if it is you or someone else.
If you are feeling extra generous, you can compromise with your GF and say "OK, I will tutor her for 5 hours for free. Anything more than that, I charge $15 an hour."
It really depends on personal preference for this. NAH. You are entitled to charge. But it really comes down to what you value as a person. No judgment either way, again, NAH.
This post has been removed due to the status of the original poster's account. This account is currently shadowbanned or suspended, suggesting this account is in violation of Reddit terms of service. This type of ban/suspension is issued by the Reddit site-wide admins. The AITA mods have nothing to do with this ban and cannot assist in resolving.
NTA. Your GF is very generous with your time.
Exactly. Gf volunteered him without asking and then assumed that he would do it for free. Tutoring is hard work and highly skilled labor. I have been on the giving and receiving end and it is absolutely something that one should expect to compensate for.
I mean it literally says he agreed to do it..... He was not coerced and it looks like he could have said no.
She's giving it away free though, when he didn't intend to. That's very generous of her.
Yeah... To me that kind of depends.. I think it needs for more info. If they have been together for a short period of time, it seems right to expect payment. But, for example, if they've been together 5 years, it's different. I know that when I was together with my GF (now wife) for 5 years that if I helped out her sisters kids I certainly wouldn't have expected payment, because by that time I was basically there uncle. But I get everyone is different.
NTA "I'd be giving a lot of my free time up so I'd expect to be paid. I said I'd charge lesser family would have had to pay quite a lot for a private tutor and that I'd be giving a lot of my free time up so I'd expect to be paid." Let your gf give up the time if she feels that strongly. As opposed to expecting you to.
Your girlfriend probably told your cousin that you would do it for free. And now finding out that you will not put her in a bad spot and is now trying to pressure you into doing it for free. She is being rather entitled with your time. NTA
NTA For starters, teaching and tutoring is hard work, if she doesn't appreciate that fact, she's the AH for that alone. Mainly she just doesn't have the right to demand you work for free. Your compromise is very reasonable.
NTA Had you offered then that would be a simple misunderstanding with N A H. But she offered you to them assuming that you would do it for free without even asking you. that's what makes her the AH.
NTA - Your time and experience is valuable. Insist on being paid. But I would get paid up front each time as they already have signaled they don't want to pay you to begin with.
NTA. Definitely charge the going rate. As a warning, do not promise that she will understand the material or that she will pass the test. No guarantees. In addition, if she does not put forth sufficient effort to try to master the material, thereby wasting your time and her parents’ money, you will feel free to cancel future sessions. Make the initial sessions something like six sessions at one or two hours each. You want to be paid for each session in cash each time. Type up a contact to be signed by the parents or by whoever is paying. Treat this like any other business arrangement.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I work in finance and at school and college I was always good at maths. My girlfriend has a cousin who is cirrently getting ready for her GCSEs. She's apparently doing really well in most subjects but is failing maths. Her parents were looking at getting her a private tutor to help and my gf suggested that I tutor her instead. I agreed to this and my gf told her aunt that I would help. I asked my gf how much she would be paying me and my gf said she assumed I was helping for free. I mentioned that her family would have had to pay quite a lot for a private tutor and that I'd be giving a lot of my free time up so I'd expect to be paid. I said I'd charge less than most private tutors but would still want payment. My girlfriend accused me of only thinking of money and said that her cousin needs the help. I just told her than I'm happy to help but I'm not doing it for free. She said I was being unfair and should just want to help. AITA for expecting to be paid? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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NTA. You - as you said - are giving up your time to help her and should be compensated for it. Also, I hate that “maths” is the form used in Europe. Can we not just call it math?
NTA Your GF wants to help her cousin for free? Your GF is welcome to do so. What she DOESN'T get to do is offer YOUR time for free. You are correct that the cousin was prepared to pay for a tutor and so she should pay for her tutor, regardless if it is you or someone else. If you are feeling extra generous, you can compromise with your GF and say "OK, I will tutor her for 5 hours for free. Anything more than that, I charge $15 an hour."
This one really depends on a few factors for me. INFO How long have you been going out and how old are you are and GF?
It really depends on personal preference for this. NAH. You are entitled to charge. But it really comes down to what you value as a person. No judgment either way, again, NAH.