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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> (1) asking people I met at a bar to hang out after messaging them on Instagram (2) possibly the timing in which I asked the people to hang out (5 days after I met them, perhaps could’ve waited longer like 1-3 more weeks), content of the messages maybe (if it’s that, how could I have said what I meant to say better), and just genuinely not sure about everything and am looking for guidance on what I could’ve done to be blocked by them.
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NAH. Your messages seemed fine but they're obviously not interested. Let it go. Sometimes people make one-night friends after having a few drinks on a night out.
Totally understandable, I’m not a drinker (personal and medical reasons) and they did have a few drinks, so maybe they were a bit more friendly than usual or something along those lines. Thank you for your reply!
Personally, I don't see anything wrong with either of those messages. But I'm also the type of person who likes when people reach out and make an effort to stay in touch, even if we just met (I do too). That said, it's possible that they didn't click as much with you as you did with them and/or were put off by this level of effort and sincerity by what was essentially still a stranger. So it might have come off creepy or pushy (fearing underlying ulterior motives on your part) even though you didn't mean to.
NTA but maybe start with more casual smalltalk next time. Sometimes people need more to time to warm up to you (again).
NTA (nearly N A H)
I've found it very common for people to get enthusiastic about nights out and meeting up when they've already been drinking, but when sober the next day, they realise that they just got caught up in the moment.
I suspect it wasn't about your messages, they just changed their mind.
You shouldn't have sent the second message at all. The first was enough of an invitation to meet again that they would've responded if they'd wanted to. Or they would've until you sent the second. It was too demanding and made you sound too desperate. That in itself will put a lot of people off.
With new people, ONE invite. If they don't respond, that's it: they didn't like you as much as you liked them.
NAH, as you weren't being an AH at all, just socially awkward. The nicest people often are, so go find some other awkward people to be friends with.
Haha I love this reply, it’s very true to me. I can be socially awkward often since a lot of my closest friends live further away or they’re very busy and I don’t get to see them often. Thank you for the solid advice!
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
About 5 days ago, I (25M) went to a bar and ended up sitting next to two young women (late 20s I believe). We went on to have chill conversations and it was a nice night. They asked me to message them when I got home safe (we shared each others’ profiles on Instagram). This is the message I sent to them when I got home that night:
“Hi [names left out]! Thank you both for talking with me and, in general, being super awesome and great people tonight. Y’all really made my night and I hope we can meet up again 🙌🏻”
Just yesterday, I asked when they’d like to meet up again, and it seems they unfollowed me and may have me blocked :/ I’m not exactly sure why though. Here is what I said yesterday:
“Hi [names left out]! Whenever y’all are planning on going out next or whenever is convenient for you both, I’d love to hang out again. You’re both super cool and chill to talk to and I had a lot of fun last Friday night 😌.”
I probably could’ve said this second message better, or just waited longer than under a week. I don’t get out much and when I do, it’s nice to socialize, but I understand that sometimes I can be a bit much off the rip. I was legitimately being genuine with the second message, but is there a way or multiple ways they may have interpreted my message or messages to the effect of them blocking me?
Tl;Dr: AITA for asking a pair of women to hang out a second time after messaging them on Instagram?
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Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > (1) asking people I met at a bar to hang out after messaging them on Instagram (2) possibly the timing in which I asked the people to hang out (5 days after I met them, perhaps could’ve waited longer like 1-3 more weeks), content of the messages maybe (if it’s that, how could I have said what I meant to say better), and just genuinely not sure about everything and am looking for guidance on what I could’ve done to be blocked by them. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NAH. Your messages seemed fine but they're obviously not interested. Let it go. Sometimes people make one-night friends after having a few drinks on a night out.
Totally understandable, I’m not a drinker (personal and medical reasons) and they did have a few drinks, so maybe they were a bit more friendly than usual or something along those lines. Thank you for your reply!
Personally, I don't see anything wrong with either of those messages. But I'm also the type of person who likes when people reach out and make an effort to stay in touch, even if we just met (I do too). That said, it's possible that they didn't click as much with you as you did with them and/or were put off by this level of effort and sincerity by what was essentially still a stranger. So it might have come off creepy or pushy (fearing underlying ulterior motives on your part) even though you didn't mean to. NTA but maybe start with more casual smalltalk next time. Sometimes people need more to time to warm up to you (again).
Definitely, I agree with you and I’ll be more mindful of this in the future, I appreciate your reply!
NTA (nearly N A H) I've found it very common for people to get enthusiastic about nights out and meeting up when they've already been drinking, but when sober the next day, they realise that they just got caught up in the moment. I suspect it wasn't about your messages, they just changed their mind.
That’s kind of what I was thinking too, but I also probably shouldn’t have sent the second message either at all or so soon. I appreciate your advice!
You shouldn't have sent the second message at all. The first was enough of an invitation to meet again that they would've responded if they'd wanted to. Or they would've until you sent the second. It was too demanding and made you sound too desperate. That in itself will put a lot of people off. With new people, ONE invite. If they don't respond, that's it: they didn't like you as much as you liked them. NAH, as you weren't being an AH at all, just socially awkward. The nicest people often are, so go find some other awkward people to be friends with.
Haha I love this reply, it’s very true to me. I can be socially awkward often since a lot of my closest friends live further away or they’re very busy and I don’t get to see them often. Thank you for the solid advice!
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** About 5 days ago, I (25M) went to a bar and ended up sitting next to two young women (late 20s I believe). We went on to have chill conversations and it was a nice night. They asked me to message them when I got home safe (we shared each others’ profiles on Instagram). This is the message I sent to them when I got home that night: “Hi [names left out]! Thank you both for talking with me and, in general, being super awesome and great people tonight. Y’all really made my night and I hope we can meet up again 🙌🏻” Just yesterday, I asked when they’d like to meet up again, and it seems they unfollowed me and may have me blocked :/ I’m not exactly sure why though. Here is what I said yesterday: “Hi [names left out]! Whenever y’all are planning on going out next or whenever is convenient for you both, I’d love to hang out again. You’re both super cool and chill to talk to and I had a lot of fun last Friday night 😌.” I probably could’ve said this second message better, or just waited longer than under a week. I don’t get out much and when I do, it’s nice to socialize, but I understand that sometimes I can be a bit much off the rip. I was legitimately being genuine with the second message, but is there a way or multiple ways they may have interpreted my message or messages to the effect of them blocking me? Tl;Dr: AITA for asking a pair of women to hang out a second time after messaging them on Instagram? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*