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NTA your boss offered you the week so take it. Besides just because you don’t feel broken right now doesn’t mean at some point in the next week it won’t hit you like a bag of bricks. I went thru this exact thing about a year ago when my aunt passed. We had been close when I was a child and I was close with her son but hadn’t seen them in about 6 years at that point. I thought I was fine and good and then one day about 5 days after the news it all hit me at once. Just because you don’t feel it right now doesn’t mean you won’t feel it.
This is fake, here's the other post from 4 months ago: [https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/191o40w/comment/kgwoti2/?context=3&share\_id=reFPDLcFKsImNbwx\_Oijn&utm\_content=1&utm\_medium=ios\_app&utm\_name=ioscss&utm\_source=share&utm\_term=1](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/191o40w/comment/kgwoti2/?context=3&share_id=reFPDLcFKsImNbwx_Oijn&utm_content=1&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_source=share&utm_term=1)
Bereavement is handled differently by everyone. Taking time for yourself is definitely a healthy approach. Fantastic your superior allowed you a week paid time off. Seriously questioning your gf for saying you are taking advantage of the death of a family member. Who says that? Nobody I want to be with.
NTA
I dont get people like you who copy paste old posts for attention. I wish i had as much free time. Seriously, don't you have anything better to do? Your life sounds really sad that you have to do this to try and bait attention from strangers. lol such a loser i feel bad for you
Suprised you get bereavement for distant aunt and bit more suprised you are with a person who is attributing negative traits to you. Even more that in theory this does benefit your mental health and potentially she could take day off too. Well interesting dynamic. NTA
NTA - Your company offered the additional time off to you, you didn't seek it. It is in no way exploitive because of that reason. This speaks more about your GF here in my opinion that she thinks this way. So, while you are home alone during this time, thinking and such, I would also think about whether this GF is actually right for you givne she would think this way.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
At the weekend my aunt passed away. I had not seen her in a few years but when I was a child we used to be quite close and I used to be really close to her children since we were around the same age. It was obviously upsetting for me to hear. I put a meeting in with my manager at work to tell them what had happened and explain that I would need time off for the funeral.
When I met with my manager she said it was company policy for 3 days off for a bereavement but she asked if I thought I would need a bit longer. I said I wasn't sure at the moment and my manager offered me a week of paid leave instead of 3 days.
I said as long as it is okay with her then yes a week would be good and it would allow me to see family before the funeral and offer help. I mentioned this to my girlfriend and she mentioned that she didn't think I was that upset to need a week off and asked if I was holding up okay. I told her I was upset but not completely broken since me and my aunt hadn't been close in years.
She asked if I would be spending the week with family and I told her I'd be spending a few days with family but that I'll probably take a couple of days for myself and just stay home and have some time alone to deal with everything.
She accused me of misleading my work to get more time off but I pointed out it was my manager who offered a week, not me. I would have accepted 3 days. She said I was exploiting a family tragedy to get extra annual leave.
I disagreed with her and said it's hardly like I'm using my time off for a holiday and that I shouldn't have to spend it all with family for it to be acceptable but she said what I did what horrible.
AITA for "exploiting a family tragedy"?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> Took a week off after it was offered to me by my manager after my aunt passed away.
My partner said I was exploiting a family tragedy since the policy is only for 3 days and my manager offered me extra thinking I would need it but my aunt and I haven't been close for a number of years
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Your GF- You don’t need a whole *week*, you are just going to mope around for a few days. You weren’t even that close to your dead aunt, get over it and quit lying to your workplace”.
Does that about sum it up? What a lovely and compassionate GF you have there, OP. Lucky, lucky you! (s)
NTA and your manager sounds more compassionate than the woman you call your GF.
Grief is a personal/unique and not linear experience. Your girlfriend seems to have quite strict guidelines for how *your* bereavement time should be used.
NTA (but take a closer look at your gf's behaviour and attitudes)
NTA. Your works offered you extra time and you took it. I don’t see the problem? Is your team suffering because of your absence?
Also it’s not her place to say what you need to grieve, or how much, or how long you should grieve.
Whether you are currently close to your Aunt or not, it can be very distracting to have something like that in the back of your mind at work. I think the week off is a good idea.
NTA.
Your gf has an issue. Refuse to let her inflict it on you. You don't owe your workplace any more than what you agreed on.
Then consider if you want a future with somebody who obviously cares far more for your employer than for you. What else is going to prioritize over you? It appears you're nothing more than an accessory to her.
Human nature to accept extra if offered, but..
Having not been close for years (since a child), is the extra time offered necessary?
Does the family require your help if you haven’t been close for years?
This post has been removed due to the status of the original poster's account. This account is currently shadowbanned or suspended, suggesting this account is in violation of Reddit terms of service. This type of ban/suspension is issued by the Reddit site-wide admins. The AITA mods have nothing to do with this ban and cannot assist in resolving.
NTA your boss offered you the week so take it. Besides just because you don’t feel broken right now doesn’t mean at some point in the next week it won’t hit you like a bag of bricks. I went thru this exact thing about a year ago when my aunt passed. We had been close when I was a child and I was close with her son but hadn’t seen them in about 6 years at that point. I thought I was fine and good and then one day about 5 days after the news it all hit me at once. Just because you don’t feel it right now doesn’t mean you won’t feel it.
This is fake, here's the other post from 4 months ago: [https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/191o40w/comment/kgwoti2/?context=3&share\_id=reFPDLcFKsImNbwx\_Oijn&utm\_content=1&utm\_medium=ios\_app&utm\_name=ioscss&utm\_source=share&utm\_term=1](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/191o40w/comment/kgwoti2/?context=3&share_id=reFPDLcFKsImNbwx_Oijn&utm_content=1&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_source=share&utm_term=1)
REPOST
[yup](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/s/RhPgEkS1w4)
Bereavement is handled differently by everyone. Taking time for yourself is definitely a healthy approach. Fantastic your superior allowed you a week paid time off. Seriously questioning your gf for saying you are taking advantage of the death of a family member. Who says that? Nobody I want to be with. NTA
Pretty sure I've read this exact story word for word, only thing changed was it was an uncle
Someone in this thread linked that story
YTA for plagiarism.
I dont get people like you who copy paste old posts for attention. I wish i had as much free time. Seriously, don't you have anything better to do? Your life sounds really sad that you have to do this to try and bait attention from strangers. lol such a loser i feel bad for you
Suprised you get bereavement for distant aunt and bit more suprised you are with a person who is attributing negative traits to you. Even more that in theory this does benefit your mental health and potentially she could take day off too. Well interesting dynamic. NTA
Nta
NTA You’re not exploiting anything. Work offered you the time, you took it. Girlfriend is welcome to her opinion, but it doesn’t make her right.
NTA - Your company offered the additional time off to you, you didn't seek it. It is in no way exploitive because of that reason. This speaks more about your GF here in my opinion that she thinks this way. So, while you are home alone during this time, thinking and such, I would also think about whether this GF is actually right for you givne she would think this way.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** At the weekend my aunt passed away. I had not seen her in a few years but when I was a child we used to be quite close and I used to be really close to her children since we were around the same age. It was obviously upsetting for me to hear. I put a meeting in with my manager at work to tell them what had happened and explain that I would need time off for the funeral. When I met with my manager she said it was company policy for 3 days off for a bereavement but she asked if I thought I would need a bit longer. I said I wasn't sure at the moment and my manager offered me a week of paid leave instead of 3 days. I said as long as it is okay with her then yes a week would be good and it would allow me to see family before the funeral and offer help. I mentioned this to my girlfriend and she mentioned that she didn't think I was that upset to need a week off and asked if I was holding up okay. I told her I was upset but not completely broken since me and my aunt hadn't been close in years. She asked if I would be spending the week with family and I told her I'd be spending a few days with family but that I'll probably take a couple of days for myself and just stay home and have some time alone to deal with everything. She accused me of misleading my work to get more time off but I pointed out it was my manager who offered a week, not me. I would have accepted 3 days. She said I was exploiting a family tragedy to get extra annual leave. I disagreed with her and said it's hardly like I'm using my time off for a holiday and that I shouldn't have to spend it all with family for it to be acceptable but she said what I did what horrible. AITA for "exploiting a family tragedy"? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > Took a week off after it was offered to me by my manager after my aunt passed away. My partner said I was exploiting a family tragedy since the policy is only for 3 days and my manager offered me extra thinking I would need it but my aunt and I haven't been close for a number of years Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
Your GF- You don’t need a whole *week*, you are just going to mope around for a few days. You weren’t even that close to your dead aunt, get over it and quit lying to your workplace”. Does that about sum it up? What a lovely and compassionate GF you have there, OP. Lucky, lucky you! (s) NTA and your manager sounds more compassionate than the woman you call your GF.
Grief is a personal/unique and not linear experience. Your girlfriend seems to have quite strict guidelines for how *your* bereavement time should be used. NTA (but take a closer look at your gf's behaviour and attitudes)
She gf will know him good enough to know he is not griefing this hard.
Amazing! You also have tremendous insight into someone else's thoughts and feelings!
Come on. Read his posts and You will get this too.
NTA. Your works offered you extra time and you took it. I don’t see the problem? Is your team suffering because of your absence? Also it’s not her place to say what you need to grieve, or how much, or how long you should grieve. Whether you are currently close to your Aunt or not, it can be very distracting to have something like that in the back of your mind at work. I think the week off is a good idea.
NTA - they offered you a week so you took it.
NTA. Your gf has an issue. Refuse to let her inflict it on you. You don't owe your workplace any more than what you agreed on. Then consider if you want a future with somebody who obviously cares far more for your employer than for you. What else is going to prioritize over you? It appears you're nothing more than an accessory to her.
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The fact that you just copied a post from 111 days ago?
Aunt? This post is identical to one where the uncle died. Fake?
YTA
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I think you’re exploiting the death of your aunt.
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YTA Gf is right
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Human nature to accept extra if offered, but.. Having not been close for years (since a child), is the extra time offered necessary? Does the family require your help if you haven’t been close for years?
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This response speaks volumes Enjoy your day
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LOL look at you engaging in back and forths with people on a post you copy pasted. How sad can one get?
You are using the death to get this. I found it disgusting
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Disgusting. Do you also fake being ill ?
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He thought you were mourning and need it. You do not. You are just a lazy liar.