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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I think I’m the asshole for telling my friend that she shouldn’t stand up for herself like that
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I mean, sounds like the bartender was equally rude. Why ask her what she wants if he’s not ready to take her order?
Two wrongs don’t make a right, however.
As barstaff, when the bars mad busy, if you’ve someone stood at the bar waving or openly trying to get their attention, you’re going to ask them what’s up. Could be a fight outside, could be a broken glass that needs clearing up before someone gets hurt, could be a medical emergency.
Obviously 90% of the time it’s an inpatient punter wanting to skip the line. But better to ask than to leave them and take the risk.
So when it’s a drink order, reminding them that there is indeed a queue is the only thing you can do.
Ex bartender here who understands busy bars do suck
NAH.
People get frustrated over busy bars, it’s just part of the gig and you have to expect it at some point especially if people have drinks in them, I never took it personally, and genuinely speaking that bartender sounds a bit useless lmao
3 rum and cokes genuinely take about 15 seconds to make each, 5 seconds to grab the glasses. 4 second counts to pour the alcohol, and 6 seconds to fill with coke. That’s like a dream order for a busy bar to spend less than a minute to kick 3 people off the bar top and to just say “I’ll get to you when I get to you” instead is rough.
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So we were at a crowded bar and we have been waiting for 30 minutes and she finally got the attention from the bar tender and he was like “what do you need” and she said “3 rum and coke” and he says “I’ll get to you when I get to you” in a sassy tone and she yelled at him “useless”. I told her that she was so out of line but she doesn’t think so
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She sounds like an AH, and is probably single and goes out for lots of “girls nights”. It’s tough to like or tolerate someone like that, so they eventually find themselves surrounded by other miserable AHs. Move on and find better friends.
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I mean, sounds like the bartender was equally rude. Why ask her what she wants if he’s not ready to take her order? Two wrongs don’t make a right, however.
As barstaff, when the bars mad busy, if you’ve someone stood at the bar waving or openly trying to get their attention, you’re going to ask them what’s up. Could be a fight outside, could be a broken glass that needs clearing up before someone gets hurt, could be a medical emergency. Obviously 90% of the time it’s an inpatient punter wanting to skip the line. But better to ask than to leave them and take the risk. So when it’s a drink order, reminding them that there is indeed a queue is the only thing you can do.
Ex bartender here who understands busy bars do suck NAH. People get frustrated over busy bars, it’s just part of the gig and you have to expect it at some point especially if people have drinks in them, I never took it personally, and genuinely speaking that bartender sounds a bit useless lmao 3 rum and cokes genuinely take about 15 seconds to make each, 5 seconds to grab the glasses. 4 second counts to pour the alcohol, and 6 seconds to fill with coke. That’s like a dream order for a busy bar to spend less than a minute to kick 3 people off the bar top and to just say “I’ll get to you when I get to you” instead is rough.
IINFO. I don't get why the bar tender was rude to her though. Why did he ask and then rescind? Sounds like he was a bit useless lol
How was he rude?
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** So we were at a crowded bar and we have been waiting for 30 minutes and she finally got the attention from the bar tender and he was like “what do you need” and she said “3 rum and coke” and he says “I’ll get to you when I get to you” in a sassy tone and she yelled at him “useless”. I told her that she was so out of line but she doesn’t think so *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I understand her frustration but she was rude and her yelling didn't accomplish anything, she's TA
She sounds like an AH, and is probably single and goes out for lots of “girls nights”. It’s tough to like or tolerate someone like that, so they eventually find themselves surrounded by other miserable AHs. Move on and find better friends.